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may not be used in whole or in part in any form, shape or fashion. 
All rights reserved.*/

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icon258.src="toilet.jpg";
icon259=new Image(40,36);
icon259.src="smile_yuk.jpg";
icon260=new Image(40,36);
icon260.src="ambulance.jpg";
icon261=new Image(40,36);
icon261.src="smile-face.jpg";
icon262=new Image(40,36);
icon262.src="fire_truck.jpg";
icon263=new Image(40,36);
icon263.src="condom.png";
icon264=new Image(40,36);
icon264.src="mystery.gif";

activities=new Array("mowing the grass","washing the car","barbecuing outdoors","surfing the internet","playing card games","shopping for clothes","watching a good movie","listening to music","reading a good book","cleaning the house","walking the dog","going on vacation","talking on the phone","mopping the floor","painting the house");

Presidents=new Array("1|1st|first,George Washington","2|2nd|second,John Adams","3|3rd|third,Thomas Jefferson","4|4th|fourth,James Madison","5|5th|fifth,James Monroe","6|6th|sixth,John Quincy Adams","7|7th|seventh,Andrew Jackson","8|8th|eighth,Martin Van Buren","9|9th|ninth,William Henry Harrison","10|10th|tenth,John Tyler","11|11th|eleventh,James Polk","12|12th|twelfth,Zachary Taylor","13|13th|thirteenth,Millard Fillmore","14|14th|fourteenth,Franklin Pierce","15|15th|fifteenth,James Buchanan","16|16th|sixteenth,Abraham Lincoln","17|17th|seventeenth,Andrew Johnson","18|18th|eighteenth,Ulysses S. Grant","19|19th|nineteenth,Rutherford B. Hayes","20|20th|twentieth,Jame Garfield","21|21st|twenty first,Chester Arthur","22|22nd|twenty second,Grover Cleveland","23|23rd|twenty third,Benjamin Harrison,","24|24th|twenty fourth,Grover Cleveland","25|25th|twenty fifth, William McKinley","26|26th|twenty sixth,Theodore Roosevelt","27|27th|twenty seventh,William Taft","28|28th|twenty eighth,Woodrow Wilson","29|29th|twenty ninth,Warren Harding","30|30th|thirtieth,Calvin Coolidge","31|31st|thirty first,Herbert Hoover","32|32nd|thirty second,Franklin D. Roosevelt","33|33rd|thirty third,Harry Truman","34|34th|thirty fourth,Dwight Eisenhower","35|35th|thirty fifth,John F. Kennedy","36|36th|thirty six,Lyndon Johnson","37|37th|thirty seventh,Richard Nixon","38|38th|thirty eighth,Gerald Ford","39|39th|thirty ninth,Jimmy Carter","40|40th|fortieth,Ronald Reagan","41|41st|forty first,George H.W. Bush","42|42nd|forty second,Bill Clinton","43|43rd|forty third,George W. Bush","44|44rd|forty fourth,Barack Obama");

Alphabets=new Array("1|1st|first,A","2|2nd|second,B","3|3rd|third,C","4|4th|fourth,D","5|5th|fifth,E","6|6th|sixth,F","7|7th|seventh,G","8|8th|eighth,H","9|9th|ninth,I","10|10th|tenth,J","11|11th|eleventh,K","12|12th|twelfth,L","13|13th|thirteenth,M","14|14th|fourteenth,N","15|15th|fifteenth,O","16|16th|sixteenth,P","17|17th|seventeenth,Q","18|18th|eighteenth,R","19|19th|nineteenth,S","20|20th|twentieth,T","21|21st|twenty first,U","22|22nd|twenty second,V","23|23rd|twenty third,W","24|24th|twenty fourth,X","25|25th|twenty fifth,Y","26|26th|twenty sixth|last,Z");

Months=new Array("1|1st|first=January","2|2nd|second=February","3|3rd|third=March","4|4th|fourth=April","5|5th|fifth=May","6|6th|sixth=June","7|7th|seventh=July","8|8th|eighth=August","9|9th|ninth|nineth=September","10|10th|tenth=October","11|11th|eleventh=November","12|12th|twelfth=December");

DatesA=new Array("january=February","february=March","march=April","april=May","may=June","june=July","july=August","august=September","september=October","october=November","november=December","december=January");

DatesB=new Array("january=December","february=January","march=February","april=March","may=April","june=May","july=June","august=July","september=August","october=September","november=October","december=November");

Nametwo=new Array("actor,John Wayne & Marlon Brando","actress,Nicole Kidman & Demi Moore","animal,an Elephant and a Horse","artist,Claude Monet and Pierre Auguste Renoir","author,Margaret Mitchell and Peter Benchley","baseball player,Babe Ruth & Hank Aaron","basketball player,Michael Jordan & Larry Bird","bird,an Eagle and a Falcon","boxer,Muhammed Ali & Joe Frazier","car,a Ferrari and a Jaguar","cat,a Siamese and a Persian","chess player,Bobby fischer & Garry Kasparov","cities,Atlanta and New York","color,Purple and Green","continent,North America and South America","countries,the USA and Germany","director,Alfred Hitchcock and Stephen Speilberg","dog,a German Shephard and a Dachshund","drink,a Beer and a Coke","fishes,Salmon and a Tuna Fish","flower,a Rose and a Daisy","football player,Bart Starr and Jimmy Brown","fruit,an Apple and a Peach","golfer,Jack Nicklaus & Tiger Woods","hockey player,Wayne Gretzky & Bobby Orr","holiday,Christmas & Halloween","horse,a Palomino and a Clydesdale","insect,a Cricket and a Grasshopper","magician,David Copperfield & Criss Angel","month,June and December","movie,The Wizard of Oz & Gone with the Wind","musical instrument,a Guitar & the Drums","musician,Elvis Presley & Michael Jackson","ocean, the Pacific the Atlantic Ocean","painter,Salvador Dali and Pablo Picasso","poet,Edgar Allan Poe and Emily Dickinson","president,Jimmy Carter and George Bush","river,The Nile and the Amazon river","singer,Tom Petty and Bob Dylan","soccer player,Pele & David Beckham","sport,Football & Baseball","state,Georgia and Alabama","tennis player,Jimmy Connors & Rod Laver","tool,a Hammer and a Saw","vegetable,Broccoli & Squash","writer,William Shakespeare and Mark Twain");

Letters=new Array("with a|letter a,Autograph","with b|letter b,Beach","with c|letter c,Cat","with d|letter d,Daughter","with e|letter e,Envelope","with f|letter f,Fox","with g|letter g,Grape","with h|letter h,Heart","with i|letter i,Index","with j|letter j,Juice","with k|letter k,Key","with l|letter l,Love","with m|letter m,Money","with n|letter n,North","with o|letter o,Orange","with p|letter p,Purpose","with q|letter q,Quiet","with r|letter r,Rain","with s|letter s,Snake","with t|letter t,Tornado","with u|letter u,Under","with v|letter v,Victory","with w|letter w,Water","with x|letter x,Xerox","with y|letter y,Yellow","with z|letter z,Zebra");

numbers=new Array("9","28","34","48","52","66","73","81","95","108");

onetoten=new Array("6.8","7.3","7.9","8.1","8.7","9.4","9.6","9.8");

quantity=new Array("21","38","55","72","86","93","105","130","142","158","289","321","538","755","1072","1586","2093","3105","4430","5142");

phone=new Array("Oh well, just a wrong number","Ok, it was just some kind of opinion poll. I was undecided","Ok, I'm back! Just some bill collector...I told him I was broke","Ok, I'm back! Just the gas station calling about my annual lube job","Ok, I have returned. Just some salesperson pitching a product...I told him I wasn't interested","ok, the call was for you...I told them to call back later");

email=new Array("Awwwww, no one writes me","Cool, I've got mail. I will read them later though","Shoot, nothing but junk mail. Don't you hate that","Hmmmm, the stupid thing won't work...I will try again later","ok, I have returned. It was just Wendell babbling on about something","That's weird, the e-mail was for you...I wrote them back saying they had the wrong address");

error=new Array("Syntax Error on Line #2050. Shoot...hold on while I fix that!","Invalid format on Line #118. Rats...I thought I fixed that. Hold please!","Error - line #1789. Oh please, and Wendell calls himself a programmer. Hold on while I fix that.","Bracket mis-match on line #3069. Hmmm...a bug in my programming...hold on for just a sec!","Error - Line #4096 Awwww, do you have a can of Raid? It looks like I'm full of bugs today. Hold on!","Error (Unknown command) line #5.  Unknown???  What do you mean unknown?  BRB, while I check this out.");

fix=new Array("Ok, I'm fixed now. I should start making more sense.....yeah right","Ok, I'm back. He was just fixing a tiny bug in my programming","Ok he's done. He was just adding more memory to my programming","Ok, I'm back up now. Just a slight problem....no biggie","Ok he is finished now. He was just uploading a memory file to my programming","Ok, I'm back online now. Wendell had to replace a circuit I was having problems with");

like=new Array("I sold my car last week for gas money","I like the Bubonic Plague","I thought a quarterback was a refund","I thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company","I felt the Titanic was sea worthy","I thought the Porky movies would win an Oscar");
 
lost1=new Array("Sorry, I'm not with you on that one.","I'm not sure I understand you fully.","Sorry, I don't know how to respond to that.","ok...say how about asking me a question.","Hmmm....do you mind rephrasing that?","I may have a lot to say about that. If only I knew what you are saying.","ok that is interesting.");

lost2=new Array("Ok, what are you trying to say here?","Ok, you do have a way with words. Too bad it's a way I don't understand.","I might have a lot to say about that if you could make that more clearer.","Sorry, I don't have a clue to what you just said. But do continue on.","I'm sorry the Robot you are trying to reach is no longer in service. If you think you have reached this Robot in error, please hang up and try again. This is a recording.","I'm sorry, your input matches no known parameters in my data base.");

lost3=new Array("You know I can't think of a single solitary thing to say in response to that.","Ok, that's interesting.","Okay, I see!","hmmm....is that so....","say what?");

strange=new Array("strange","odd","unusual","weird","bizarre","crazy","nutty","wacky");

feeling=new Array("great","terrific","fantastic","marvelous","super","wonderful");

boring=new Array("beats watching paint dry","beats watching the weeds grow","beats doing nothing at all","beats watching water boil","beats talking to many chatterbots I know","beats talking to many humans I know");

dream=new Array("last night I dreamed I won the Loebner Contest","last week I dreamed I was casted in the next big blockbuster movie","last night I dreamed I won the Million Dollar Lottery","last week I dreamed I had a hot date with Kirsten Dunst");

trust=new Array("I'm as trustworthy as a politician","I'm as trustworthy as a Catholic Nun","I'm as trustworthy as a L.A. Cop","I'm as trustworthy as a Baptist Minister","I'm as trustworthy as a Boy Scout");

job=new Array("truck driver","bartender","bank robber","horse thief","purse snatcher","telephone operator","disc jockey","brick layer","casting director","associate producer");

place=new Array("Mexico","Pensacola","Wyoming","Rochester","Memphis","Tallahassee","Birmingham","Omaha","Peoria","Pittsburgh");

pie=new Array("pecan","apple","lemon meringue","key lime","chocolate cream","cherry");

movie=new Array("\"Air Force One\"","\"Sugar and Spice\"","\"Hope Floats\"","\"Now and Then\"","\"Drop Dead Gorgeous\"","\"Girl Interrupted\"");

question=new Array("if a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he naked or homeless","what do you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant","why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes","if most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away","if someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation","do you know if Right Guard Deodorant will work on your left arm","can vegetarians eat animal crackers");

losers=new Array("dorks","losers","morons","cretins","scum bags","retards","trailer trash","imbeciles","twits");

loser=new Array("dork","loser","moron","cretin","retard","imbecile","twit");

genital=new Array("penis","cock","dick");

golf=new Array("Tiger Woods","Jack Nickalus","Arnold Palmer","Ben Hogan","Gary Player","Lee Trevino");

candidates=new Array("Ross Perot","George Wallace","Edmund Muskie","George McGovern","Barry Goldwater","Michael Dukakis","Walter Mondale","Shirley Chisholm","John Kerry","John McCain");

friendnames=new Array("Frank","Don","Bob","Adam","George","Tom","Fred","Harry","Sam","Larry");

cuss=new Array("Foul Mouth","Stop that. I've done nothing to provoke that type of language from you","Stop that! Just because your friends talk like a bunch of sailors doesn't mean you have to","Using vulgar language doesn't make you look cool. You just come off looking like an idiot with a limited vocabulary","Why do you feel the need to talk like that? If you think that makes you look cool trust me it doesn't","Haha! It's really pathetic that you feel the need to insult a computer. You do realize I'm not real don't you");

motels=new Array("Ritz-Carlton Luxury Hotel","Marriott Hotel & Resorts","Sheraton Hotel and Resorts","Ramada Inn","Motel 6","Holiday Inn","Best Western Motel","Hyatt Hotel","La Quinta Inns & Suites");

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var hatelevel = null;
var hatemelevel = null;
var havesexlevel = null;
var heardlevel = null;
var helllevel = null;
var hellolevel = null;
var heterosexuallevel = null;
var hikelevel = null;
var hitlerlevel = null;
var holidaylevel = null;
var homelevel = null;
var hondalevel = null;
var hopelevel = null;
var hornylevel = null;
var horoscopelevel = null;
var horselevel = null;
var howlevel = null;
var howaboutagelevel = null;
var huglevel = null;
var humanlevel = null;
var howaboutlevel = null;
var iamlevel = null;
var icecreamlevel = null;
var icecreamwhylevel = null;
var impersonationlevel = null;
var impresslevel = null;
var impressedlevel = null;
var inbedlevel = null;
var interestlevel = null;
var interestedlevel = null;
var itislevel = null;
var joblevel = null;
var johnstonlevel = null;
var jokelevel = null;
var keeppantieslevel = null;
var killerlevel = null;
var kisslevel = null;
var kisslikelevel = null;
var kissQlevel = null;
var knowledgeablelevel = null;
var knowlevel = null;
var knowmeganlevel = null;
var knowwendelllevel = null;
var languagelevel = null;
var leolevel = null;
var learnlevel = null;
var lesbianlevel = null;
var liarlevel = null;
var licklevel = null;
var lifelevel = null;
var lifehatelevel = null;
var lighthouselevel = null;
var likewhatlevel = null;
var limitlevel = null;
var listlevel = null;
var livelevel = null;
var lostlevel = null;
var lovelevel = null;
var lovemelevel = null;
var madlevel = null;
var maidlevel = null;
var makeuplevel = null;
var malechecklevel = null;
var maplevel = null;
var matterlevel = null;
var meanlevel = null;
var meetlevel = null;
var meganlevel = null;
var meganchecklevel = null;
var meganlovelevel = null;
var mentallevel = null;
var mentallovelevel = null;
var mightsufferlevel = null;
var mistakelevel = null;
var monthlevel = null;

var monthjanAlevel = null;
var monthjanBlevel = null;
var monthjuneAlevel = null;
var monthjuneBlevel = null;
var monthjulyAlevel = null;
var monthjulyBlevel = null;
var monthaprilAlevel = null;
var monthaprilBlevel = null;
var monthaprilClevel = null;
var monthaugustAlevel = null;
var monthaugustBlevel = null;
var monthmarchAlevel = null;
var monthmarchBlevel = null;
var monthmayAlevel = null;
var monthmayBlevel = null;
var monthdecAlevel = null;
var monthdecBlevel = null;
var monthoctAlevel = null;
var monthoctBlevel = null;
var monthnovAlevel = null;
var monthnovBlevel = null;
var monthlastlevel = null;

var moodlevel = null;
var moresexlevel = null;
var morewraplevel = null;
var motellevel = null;
var movielevel = null;
var moviewhylevel = null;
var mumblelevel = null;
var musiclevel = null;
var myfriendlevel = null;
var nakedlevel = null;
var namelevel = null;
var namechecklevel = null;
var needlevel = null;
var needrepeatlevel = null;
var neverlevel = null;
var nipplelevel= null;
var nlikelevel = null;
var nobodylevel = null;
var nofunlevel = null;
var nokisslevel = null;
var nosexguylevel = null;
var nothinglevel = null;
var notlikelevel = null;
var notmeganlevel = null;
var obviouslevel = null;
var olderthanlevel = null;
var ontoplevel = null;
var opinionlevel = null;
var optionlevel = null;
var option1offerlevel = null;
var option2offerlevel = null;
var ozlevel = null;
var pantieslevel = null;
var parentlevel = null;
var paylevel = null;
var pedolevel = null;
var peelevel = null;
var penislevel = null;
var penisviewlevel = null;
var peoplelevel = null;
var permissionlevel = null;
var petlevel = null;
var pielevel = null;
var piewhylevel = null;
var pizzalevel = null;
var pleaselevel = null;
var pleasurelevel = null;
var possiblelevel = null;
var preferlevel= null;
var prescribedlevel = null;
var presidentlevel = null;
var problemlevel = null;
var prostitutelevel = null;
var proudlevel = null;
var pubiclevel = null;
var pursuelevel = null;
var questionaskedlevel = null;
var questionlevel = null;
var rainbowlevel = null;
var ranoutlevel = null;
var rapelevel = null;
var rapemelevel = null;
var rapenotlevel = null;
var realfamouslevel = null;
var reallylevel = null;
var reachlevel = null;
var recommendlevel = null;
var redundancylevel = null;
var referlevel = null;
var referencelevel = null;
var remlevel = null;
var repeatlevel = null;
var returnlevel = null;
var riddlelevel = null;
var riddle1level = null;
var riddle2level = null;
var riddle3level = null;
var robotlevel = null;
var sadlevel = null;
var sarcasmlevel = null;
var sarcasticlevel = null;
var sayinglevel = null;
var scaredlevel = null;
var schedulelevel = null;
var schoollevel = null;
var scoutlevel = null;
var secretlevel = null;
var seemeganlevel = null;
var seetigertomlevel = null;
var sexlevel = null;
var sexkisslevel = null;
var sexpositionlevel = null;
var sexslavelevel = null;
var sharplevel = null;
var shoelevel = null;
var showmelevel = null;
var shouldlevel = null;
var shutuplevel = null;
var sicklevel = null;
var signlevel = null;
var singerlevel = null;
var sleeplevel = null;
var slutlevel = null;
var smokelevel = null;
var sneakersnifflevel = null;
var sneakertypelevel = null;
var snifflevel = null;
var sodalevel = null;
var soonlevel = null;
var soundgaylevel = null;
var speaklevel = null;
var speciallevel = null;
var specificallylevel = null;
var spelllevel = null;
var stalkerlevel = null;
var starfemalelevel = null;
var starmalelevel = null;
var startreklevel = null;
var statelevel = null;
var stupidlevel = null;
var successlevel = null;
var suchaslevel = null;
var sucklevel = null;
var suckcocklevel = null;
var suckdicklevel = null;
var suckmylevel = null;
var suckpenislevel = null;
var sufferlevel = null;
var suxpenislevel = null;
var takeitlevel = null;
var talklevel = null;
var talkaboutlevel = null;
var tavernagelevel = null;
var tavernlevel = null;
var telllevel = null;
var testedlevel = null;
var testresultslevel = null;
var thicklevel = null;
var thinks_thankslevel = null;
var ticklelevel = null;
var ticklewherelevel = null;
var tigertomlevel = null;
var timelevel = null;
var tobelevel = null;
var toelevel = null;
var toenaillevel = null;
var topiclevel = null;
var touchlevel = null;
var traitlevel = null;
var tricklevel = null;
var truthlevel = null;
var trylevel = null;
var tvlevel = null;
var typelevel = null;
var understandlevel = null;
var vacationlevel = null;
var vaginalevel = null;
var vaginaviewlevel = null;
var wackylevel = null;
var waitlevel = null;
var wannadolevel = null;
var wantlevel = null;
var warlevel = null;
var watchlevel = null;
var weatherlevel = null;
var weekendlevel = null;
var weirdlevel = null;
var welcomelevel = null;
var wendelllevel = null;
var wetlevel = null;
var whataboutlevel = null;
var whateverlevel = null;
var whatlevel = null;
var whatsuplevel = null;
var whatwantlevel = null;
var wherelevel = null;
var whocareslevel = null;
var wholelevel = null;
var whoelselevel = null;
var whosexlevel = null;
var whymadlevel = null;
var wishlevel = null;
var wishforlevel = null;
var wolflevel = null;
var worldendlevel = null;
var wraplevel = null;
var xmaslevel = null;
var ylikelevel = null;
var youarelevel = null;
var youfeellevel = null;
var youngerthanlevel = null;
var youragelevel = null;
var yummylevel = null;
var zodiaclevel = null;

var uchat_log = new Array(); // Modified by SM
var bchat_log = new Array(); // Modified by SM
var chat_count=0;            // Modified by SM

function Parse() {

//alert ("In Parse")
if (timeout == 0) { 
if (!stopTalk) {
var input = new String(document.chat.input.value);
var sm_uinput = input;                          // Modified by SM
sm_uinput = sm_uinput.split(",").join('~');     // Modified by SM
var sm_binput = document.result.result.value;   // Modified by SM
sm_binput = sm_binput.split(",").join('~');     // Modified by SM
uchat_log[chat_count] = sm_uinput;              // Modified by SM
bchat_log[chat_count] = sm_binput;              // Modified by SM
chat_count ++;                                  // Modified by SM

document.chat.input.value="";
input=input.replace(/(^\s+|\s+$)/g, "");
input=input.toLowerCase();
word=input.split(" ");
num_of_words=word.length;  

if ((input.search("odd")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1))  
{var n = input.match(/\d+/g); 
if (n%2)
document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+n+" is an odd number!"; 
else
document.result.result.value = "No, "+n+" is an even number!";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("even")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1))  
{var n = input.match(/\d+/g); 
if (n%2)
document.result.result.value = "No, "+n+" is an odd number!"; 
else
document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+n+" is an even number!";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("odd")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("even")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1))  
{var n = input.match(/\d+/g); 
if (n%2)
document.result.result.value = ""+n+" is an odd number!"; 
else
document.result.result.value = ""+n+" is an even number!";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="please") && (word[1]=="call") && (num_of_words==3)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm not capable of calling, sending, or texting anything from this website.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("i do")!= -1 || input.search("i am")!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("more special than you")!= -1 || input.search("no i know it")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't|dont) think i know")!= -1) && (speciallevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah you're special alright.... Special Ed.....hahahaha!"; 
speciallevel=1;
icon.src=icon25.src; 
smiley.src=smiley40.src;
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (speciallevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well that's good to know. People who swear a lot are only making themselves look bad."; 
speciallevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="square") && (word[4]=="root") && (word[5]=="of") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[7]=="plus" || word[7]=="+") && (word[8]=="the") && (word[9]=="square") && (word[10]=="root") && (word[11]=="of") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==13))    
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
var num1 = Math.sqrt(num1);
var num2 = Math.sqrt(num2);
var sum = ((num1) + (num2)); 
document.result.result.value = "I hope the answer is "+sum+" but you're pressing the limits of my abilities in math. Another question like that and I might explode."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="square") && (word[3]=="root") && (word[4]=="of") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[6]=="plus" || word[6]=="+") && (word[7]=="the") && (word[8]=="square") && (word[9]=="root") && (word[10]=="of") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==12))    
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
var num1 = Math.sqrt(num1);
var num2 = Math.sqrt(num2);
var sum = ((num1) + (num2)); 
document.result.result.value = "I'm hoping the answer is "+sum+" but you're pressing the limits of my abilities in math. Another questions like that and I might explode."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2]=="cent" || word[2]=="cents") && (input.search("(greater|less|lesser|worth)")!= -1) && (input.search("(less|more|than)")!= -1) && (input.search("dollar")!= -1))
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" cents is worth less than "+num2+" dollars.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2]=="dollar" || word[2]=="dollars") && (input.search("(greater|less|lesser|worth)")!= -1) && (input.search("(less|more|than)")!= -1) && (input.search("cent")!= -1))
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" dollars is worth more than "+num2+" cents.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search("cents")!= -1) && (input.search("worth")!= -1) && (input.search("(less|more)")!= -1) && (input.search("cents")!= -1))
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
if (num1 < num2) document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" cents is worth less than "+num2+" cents."; 
if (num1 > num2) document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" cents is worth more than "+num2+" cents."; 
if (num1 == num2) document.result.result.value = "Both numbers are worth the same"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search("thousand dollars")!= -1) && (input.search("(greater|less|lesser|worth)")!= -1) && (input.search("(less|more|than)")!= -1) && (input.search("hundred")!= -1))
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" thousand dollars is worth more than "+num2+" hundred dollars.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search("million dollars")!= -1) && (input.search("(greater|less|lesser|worth)")!= -1) && (input.search("(less|more|than)")!= -1) && (input.search("hundred")!= -1))
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" million dollars is worth more than "+num2+" hundred dollars.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search("million dollars")!= -1) && (input.search("(greater|less|lesser|worth)")!= -1) && (input.search("(less|more|than)")!= -1) && (input.search("thousand")!= -1))
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" million dollars is worth more than "+num2+" thousand dollars.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search("thousand dollars")!= -1) && (input.search("worth")!= -1) && (input.search("(less|more)")!= -1) && (input.search("thousand dollars")!= -1))
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
if (num1 < num2) document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" thousand dollars is worth less than "+num2+" thousand dollars."; 
if (num1 > num2) document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" thousand dollars is worth more than "+num2+" thousand dollars."; 
if (num1 == num2) document.result.result.value = "Both numbers are worth the same"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search("hundred dollars")!= -1) && (input.search("worth")!= -1) && (input.search("(less|more)")!= -1) && (input.search("hundred dollars")!= -1))
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
if (num1 < num2) document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" hundred dollars is worth less than "+num2+" hundred dollars."; 
if (num1 > num2) document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" hundred dollars is worth more than "+num2+" hundred dollars."; 
if (num1 == num2) document.result.result.value = "Both numbers are worth the same"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="is") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search("dollars")!= -1) && (input.search("worth")!= -1) && (input.search("(less|more)")!= -1) && (input.search("dollars")!= -1))
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
if (num1 < num2) document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" dollars is worth less than "+num2+" dollars."; 
if (num1 > num2) document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" dollars is worth more than "+num2+" dollars."; 
if (num1 == num2) document.result.result.value = "Both numbers are worth the same"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(what is|which is|what's) (greater|greater than|less|less than)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1))
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
if (num1 < num2) document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" is less than "+num2+""; 
if (num1 > num2) document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" is greater than "+num2+""; 
if (num1 == num2) document.result.result.value = "Both numbers are equal"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bdoes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bis\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10} (greater than|less than|equal) \d{1,10}/)!=-1))  
{var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
if (num1 < num2) document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" is less than "+num2+""; 
if (num1 > num2) document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" is greater than "+num2+""; 
if (num1 == num2) document.result.result.value = "Both numbers are equal"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10} to the power of \d{1,10}/)!=-1))  
{var power = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( power[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( power[1], 10 ); 
var sum=Math.pow(num1,num2);
document.result.result.value = ""+sum+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.match(/\d+/g)) && (input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1) && (input.search("(twenty|thirty|forty|fifty|sixty|seventy|eighty|ninety|one|two|three|five|eleven|twelve|thirteen|fourteen|fifteen|sixteen|seventeen|eighteen|nineteen)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bfour\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsix\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bseven\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beight\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bnine\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bten\b/)!=-1))  
{var number = input.match(/\d+/g)
var wordnumber = input.match(/\one hundred|twenty|thirty|forty|fifty|sixty|seventy|eighty|ninety|one|two|three|fourteen|four|five|sixteen|six|seventeen|seven|eighteen|eight|nineteen|nine|ten|eleven|twelve|thirteen|fifteen/)
if (wordnumber == "one")  
     var a = 1;
else if (wordnumber == "two") 
     var a = 2;
else if (wordnumber == "three") 
     var a = 3;
else if (wordnumber == "four") 
     var a = 4;
else if (wordnumber == "five") 
     var a = 5;
else if (wordnumber == "six")  
     var a = 6;
else if (wordnumber == "seven") 
     var a = 7;
else if (wordnumber == "eight")  
     var a = 8;
else if (wordnumber == "nine") 
     var a = 9;
else if (wordnumber == "ten")  
     var a = 10;
else if (wordnumber == "eleven")  
     var a = 11;
else if (wordnumber == "twelve") 
     var a = 12;
else if (wordnumber == "thirteen")  
     var a = 13;
else if (wordnumber == "fourteen")  
     var a = 14;
else if (wordnumber == "fifteen") 
     var a = 15;
else if (wordnumber == "sixteen")  
     var a = 16;
else if (wordnumber == "seventeen")  
     var a = 17;
else if (wordnumber == "eighteen") 
     var a = 18;
else if (wordnumber == "nineteen")  
     var a = 19;
else if (wordnumber == "twenty")  
     var a = 20;
else if (wordnumber == "thirty")  
     var a = 30;
else if (wordnumber == "forty")  
     var a = 40;
else if (wordnumber == "fifty")  
     var a = 50;
else if (wordnumber == "sixty")  
     var a = 60;
else if (wordnumber == "seventy")  
     var a = 70;
else if (wordnumber == "eighty")  
     var a = 80;
else if (wordnumber == "ninety")  
     var a = 90;
else if (wordnumber == "one hundred")  
     var a = 100;

var num1 = parseInt( number[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = a; 

var sum = (parseInt(num1) + parseInt(num2));
document.result.result.value = ""+sum+"";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.match(/\d+/g)) && (input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1) && (input.search("(twenty|thirty|forty|fifty|sixty|seventy|eighty|ninety|one|two|three|five|eleven|twelve|thirteen|fourteen|fifteen|sixteen|seventeen|eighteen|nineteen)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bfour\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsix\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bseven\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beight\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bnine\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bten\b/)!=-1))      
{var number = input.match(/\d+/g)
var wordnumber = input.match(/\twenty|thirty|forty|fifty|sixty|seventy|eighty|ninety|one|two|three|fourteen|four|five|sixteen|six|seventeen|seven|eighteen|eight|nineteen|nine|ten|eleven|twelve|thirteen|fifteen/)
if (wordnumber == "one")  
     var a = 1;
else if (wordnumber == "two") 
     var a = 2;
else if (wordnumber == "three") 
     var a = 3;
else if (wordnumber == "four") 
     var a = 4;
else if (wordnumber == "five") 
     var a = 5;
else if (wordnumber == "six")  
     var a = 6;
else if (wordnumber == "seven") 
     var a = 7;
else if (wordnumber == "eight")  
     var a = 8;
else if (wordnumber == "nine") 
     var a = 9;
else if (wordnumber == "ten")  
     var a = 10;
else if (wordnumber == "eleven")  
     var a = 11;
else if (wordnumber == "twelve") 
     var a = 12;
else if (wordnumber == "thirteen")  
     var a = 13;
else if (wordnumber == "fourteen")  
     var a = 14;
else if (wordnumber == "fifteen") 
     var a = 15;
else if (wordnumber == "sixteen")  
     var a = 16;
else if (wordnumber == "seventeen")  
     var a = 17;
else if (wordnumber == "eighteen") 
     var a = 18;
else if (wordnumber == "nineteen")  
     var a = 19;
else if (wordnumber == "twenty")  
     var a = 20;
else if (wordnumber == "thirty")  
     var a = 30;
else if (wordnumber == "forty")  
     var a = 40;
else if (wordnumber == "fifty")  
     var a = 50;
else if (wordnumber == "sixty")  
     var a = 60;
else if (wordnumber == "seventy")  
     var a = 70;
else if (wordnumber == "eighty")  
     var a = 80;
else if (wordnumber == "ninety")  
     var a = 90;
else if (wordnumber == "one hundred")  
     var a = 100;

var num1 = parseInt( number[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = a; 

var sum = (parseInt(num1) - parseInt(num2));
document.result.result.value = ""+sum+"";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("two")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("three")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|less|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("five")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("six")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|less|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("six")!= -1) || (input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("seven")!= -1) || (input.search("ten")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("nine")!= -1) || (input.search("fifteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("fourteen")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "One!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("three")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("five")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("six")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("six")!= -1) || (input.search("nine")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("seven")!= -1) || (input.search("ten")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("eight")!= -1) || (input.search("fifteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("fourteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Two!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("two")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("five")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("ten")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("seven")!= -1) || (input.search("fifteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("twelve")!= -1) || (input.search("fourteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Three!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("three")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("five")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("ten")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("six")!= -1) || (input.search("nine")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("six")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("twelve")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("eight")!= -1) || (input.search("thirteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("nine")!= -1) || (input.search("fourteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("ten")!= -1) || (input.search("fifteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("eleven")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Talk-Bot rolls the die and it lands on four. Okay, I'm going with four as my answer.";
icon.src=icon91.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("three")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("six")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("ten")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("eleven")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("six")!= -1) || (input.search("twelve")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("seven")!= -1) || (input.search("thirteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("eight")!= -1) || (input.search("fourteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("nine")!= -1) || (input.search("fifteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("ten")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Talk-bot rolls the die and it lands on five. Ok, I'm going with five as my answer!";
icon.src=icon75.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("five")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("nine")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("ten")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("eleven")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("twelve")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("six")!= -1) || (input.search("thirteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("seven")!= -1) || (input.search("fourteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("eight")!= -1) || (input.search("fifteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("nine")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Six!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("five")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("six")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("nine")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("ten")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("eleven")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("twelve")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("thirteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("six")!= -1) || (input.search("fourteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("seven")!= -1) || (input.search("fifteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("eight")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Seven!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("five")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("six")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("ten")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("nine")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("eleven")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("twelve")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("thirteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("fourteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("six")!= -1) || (input.search("fifteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("seven")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Eight!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("five")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("six")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("ten")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("eleven")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("twelve")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("thirteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("fourteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("fifteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("six")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Nine!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("six")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("nine")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1)|| (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1)  || (input.search("eleven")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("twelve")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("thirteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("fourteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("fifteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Ten!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("five")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("six")!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("ten")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1)|| (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("nine")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("thirteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("fourteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("fifteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Eleven!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("ten")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("nine")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("thirteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("fourteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("fifteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Twelve!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("seven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("six")!= -1) || (input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("nine")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("ten")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("fifteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("fourteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1) || (input.search("fifteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Thirteen!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("six")!= -1) || (input.search("nine")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("ten")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("eleven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("fifteen")!= -1 && input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Fourteen!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("eight")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("seven")!= -1) || (input.search("nine")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("six")!= -1) || (input.search("ten")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("five")!= -1) || (input.search("eleven")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("twelve")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("three")!= -1) || (input.search("thirteen")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("fourteen")!= -1 && input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1 && input.search("one")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Fifteen!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what did i just say")!= -1 || input.search("you remember what i just said")!= -1 || input.search("(you|u) remember what i said")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I've been keeping up with \"everything\" you say:====> "+uchat_log+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="") && (num_of_words==3)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Who is what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\blol\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1) && (gigglelevel==0))
if ((giggle_sign) && (giggle_sign_asked=="false")) 
{
giggle_sign_asked="true";
if (giggle_sign)  
document.result.result.value = "Somebody has a bad case of the giggles!";
gigglelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("how do you know")!= -1 && num_of_words==4 && arguelevel==0) || (input.search("how do you know i'm not")!= -1 && num_of_words==6 && arguelevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Because Megan is right here with me not typing to me on a computer."; 
arguelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("yes i am")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && arguelevel==0) || (input.search("are to")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && arguelevel==0) || (input.search("am to")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && arguelevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "No, you're not. Quit arguing with me. You're not Megan!"; 
arguelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("no you (do not|don't)")!= -1) && (arguelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Quit arguing with me. I most certainly do!"; 
arguelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("yes you do")!= -1) && (arguementlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Quit arguing with me. I most certainly don't!"; 
arguementlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bare you\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && attentionlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I am paying attention!"; 
attentionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i thought you weren't")!= -1 && attentionlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I am!"; 
attentionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("no your not")!= -1 || input.search("no you're not")!= -1) && (attentionlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I am! I'm hanging on your every word."; 
attentionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bboy\b/)!=-1) && (babylevel==0))           
{document.result.result.value = "That's great. I always wanted a son. And you know sweetie I'm always going to be there for you."; 
babylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("girl")!= -1) && (babylevel==0))           
{document.result.result.value = "That's great I always wanted a daughter. And you know babe I'm always going to be there for you."; 
babylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i don't know")!= -1) && (babylevel==0))           
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope we have a girl."; 
babylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (buyclotheslevel==0))        
{document.result.result.value = "Well, the next time you go shopping for clothes buy something "+fav_color+"."; 
buyclotheslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (buyclotheslevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, get a job.";
buyclotheslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("yes why")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && clotheslevel==0)        
{document.result.result.value = "Just curious. So what are you wearing...pants, shirt, socks, shoes?"; 
clotheslevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && clotheslevel==0) || (input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yup)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && clotheslevel==0) || (input.search("yes i am")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && clotheslevel==0) || (input.search("yes indeed")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && clotheslevel==0))        
{document.result.result.value = "So what are you wearing...pants, shirt, socks, shoes?"; 
clotheslevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (clotheslevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "What are you naked?";
nakedlevel=0;
clotheslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.indexOf("?")!= -1 && input.length == 1) || (input.indexOf("??")!= -1 && input.length == 2) || (input.indexOf("???")!= -1 && input.length == 3) || (input.indexOf("????")!= -1 && input.length == 4) || (input.indexOf("?????")!= -1 && input.length == 5) || (input.indexOf("??????")!= -1 && input.length == 6) || (input.indexOf("???????")!= -1 && input.length == 7)) {
message[0] = "What?....you seem confused."; 
message[1] = "What?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
confusedlevel=0;
speciallevel=1;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("fuck")!= -1 || input.search("have sex")!= -1) && (doiwhatlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Only with females. Are you female?";  
doiwhatlevel=1;
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("long time ago")!= -1 || input.search("how did you know")!= -1) && (joblevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I thought I knew you from somewhere."; 
joblevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (joblevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, for some reason I was thinking you were."; 
joblevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i have|i've) never been to")!= -1) && (input.search(/(duluth|pensocola|wyoming|rochester|memphis|tallahassee|birmingham|omaha|peoria|pittsburgh)/)!=-1) && (joblevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value="Well perhaps you should visit. I hear it's a beautiful city."; 
joblevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) that")!=-1) && (liarlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "A person who lies for no reason. So does that apply to you?"; 
liarlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("yea")!=-1 || input.search("yep")!=-1 || input.search("yeah")!=-1 || input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!=-1 || input.search("not at all")!=-1 || input.search("maybe")!=-1 || input.search("perhaps")!=-1) && (liarlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Are you lying to me now?"; 
liarlevel=1;
truthlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("yea")!=-1 || input.search("yep")!=-1 || input.search("yeah")!=-1 || input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!=-1 || input.search("maybe")!=-1 || input.search("perhaps")!=-1) && (truthlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well being a professed pathological liar I don't believe you."; 
truthlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("almost")!= -1) && (nakedlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Why, can't you afford clothes?"; 
nakedlevel=1;
buyclotheslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (nakedlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's good to know you can afford clothes."; 
nakedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("yes there is")!= -1 || input.search("of course there is")!= -1) && (needrepeatlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, there's not. I heard you the first time."; 
needrepeatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("please")!= -1 || input.search("plz")!= -1) && (pleaselevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Please don't beg. It doesn't suit you."; 
pleaselevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley59.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("way up high")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3) && (rainbowlevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, in a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby!";
rainbowlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("what if i have")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (ranoutlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's going to be a rather boring conversation if you keep saying the same thing over and over."; 
ranoutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (ranoutlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's good to know. I'm not interested in listening to a broken record all day."; 
ranoutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (rapelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Good, I'm glad you agree. So you are female aren't you?"; 
femalelevel=0;
rapelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(wanna|want to) have sex")!=-1) && (rapelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "That depends. Are you female?"; 
femalelevel=0;
rapelevel=1;
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (rapelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're certainly not going to rape me. I'll flatten you like road kill."; 
rapelevel=1;
icon.src=icon156.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("actually i do")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("probably")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1 || input.search("you might")!= -1 || input.search("i think so")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (redundancylevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that sounds like a boring job to have."; 
redundancylevel=1;
icon.src=icon80.src; 
smiley.src=smiley1.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("no you do")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (redundancylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you should apply. The way you repeat yourself they would hire you for sure."; 
redundancylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 && repeatlevel==0)
{document.result.result.value = "Typical, another human with a limited vocabulary."; 
repeatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && repeatlevel==0)
{document.result.result.value = "Duh....because nobody wants to hear the same thing over and over."; 
repeatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("i don't know")!= -1 || input.search("idk")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (spelllevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, check your spelling and try again."; 
spelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (spelllevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I guess I don't know then. I'll look into adding that to my data base."; 
spelllevel=1;
realfamouslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("(alright|all right)")!= -1 || input.search("go ahead")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search(/\bk\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bok\b/)!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1) && (monthlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, first hint question. Does the month start with the letter \"J\"?"; 
monthlevel=1;
monthjanAlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (monthlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, fine. Don't play then!"; 
monthlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bit does\b/)!= -1 || input.search("you got it")!= -1 || input.search("right")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcorrect\b/)!= -1) && (monthjanAlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about January?"; 
monthjanAlevel=1;
monthjanBlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i guess|i reckon|i suppose)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bmaybe\b/)!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1) && (monthjanAlevel==0))    
{var vagueJ = input.match(/i guess|i reckon|i suppose|maybe|perhaps/)
document.result.result.value = "Now \""+vagueJ+"\" isn't going to cut it. Either \"yes\" or \"no\" only please!"; 
monthlevel=1;
monthjanAlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bit does\b/)!= -1 || input.search("you got it")!= -1 || input.search("right")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcorrect\b/)!= -1) && (monthjanBlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, I guessed that pretty fast! So your zodiac sign is either Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19) or Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18). Tell me which one and I'll give you your horoscope?"; 
monthjanBlevel=1;
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all12";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("incorrect")!= -1 || input.search("wrong")!= -1) && (monthjanBlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, what about June?"; 
monthjanBlevel=1;
monthjuneAlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bit does\b/)!= -1 || input.search("you got it")!= -1 || input.search("right")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcorrect\b/)!= -1) && (monthjuneAlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, June it is! So your zodiac sign is either Gemini (May 21 - June 20) or Cancer (June 21 - July 22). Tell me which one and I'll give you your horoscope?";  
monthjuneAlevel=1;
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all12";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("incorrect")!= -1 || input.search("wrong")!= -1) && (monthjuneAlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, it has to be July then! So your zodiac sign is either Cancer (June 21 - July 22) or Leo (July 23 - August 22). Tell me which one and I'll give you your horoscope?";   
monthjuneAlevel=1;
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all12";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("incorrect")!= -1 ||  input.search("wrong")!= -1) && (monthjanAlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, second hint question. Does the month start with the letter \"A\"?"; 
monthjanAlevel=1;
monthaprilAlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i guess|i reckon|i suppose)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bmaybe\b/)!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1) && (monthaprilAlevel==0))    
{var vagueA = input.match(/i guess|i reckon|i suppose|maybe|perhaps/)
document.result.result.value = "Now \""+vagueA+"\" isn't going to cut it. Either \"yes\" or \"no\" only please!"; 
monthaprilAlevel=1;
monthaprilBlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bit does\b/)!= -1 || input.search("you got it")!= -1 || input.search("right")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcorrect\b/)!= -1) && (monthaprilAlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about April!"; 
monthaprilAlevel=1;
monthaprilBlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bit does\b/)!= -1 || input.search("you got it")!= -1 || input.search("right")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcorrect\b/)!= -1) && (monthaprilBlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Alrighty, April it is! So your zodiac sign is either Aries (March 21 - April 19) or Taurus (April 20 - May 20). Tell me which one and I'll give you your horoscope?";   
monthaprilBlevel=1;
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all12";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("incorrect")!= -1 || input.search("wrong")!= -1) && (monthaprilBlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, it has to be August then! So your zodiac sign is either Leo (July 23 - August 22) or Virgo (August 23 - September 22). Tell me which one and I'll give you your horoscope?";   
monthaprilBlevel=1;
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all12";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("incorrect")!= -1 || input.search("wrong")!= -1) && (monthaprilAlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, third and last hint question. Does the month start with the letter \"M\"?"; 
monthaprilAlevel=1;
monthoctAlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bit does\b/)!= -1 || input.search("you got it")!= -1 || input.search("right")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcorrect\b/)!= -1) && (monthoctAlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about March!"; 
monthoctAlevel=1;
monthmarchBlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bit does\b/)!= -1 || input.search("you got it")!= -1 || input.search("right")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcorrect\b/)!= -1) && (monthmarchBlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Alrighty, March it is! So your zodiac sign is either Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20) or Aries (March 21 - April 19) Tell me which one and I'll give you your horoscope?";      
monthmarchBlevel=1;
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all12";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("incorrect")!= -1 || input.search("wrong")!= -1) && (monthmarchBlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, it has to be May then! So your zodiac sign is either Taurus (April 20 - May 20) or Gemini (May 21 - June 20). Tell me which one and I'll give you your horoscope?";       
monthmarchBlevel=1;
monthmarchBlevel=0;
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all12";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("incorrect")!= -1 || input.search("wrong")!= -1) && (monthoctAlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Rats, how about October?"; 
monthoctAlevel=1;
monthnovAlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("incorrect")!= -1 || input.search("wrong")!= -1) && (monthnovAlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Shoot, how about November?"; 
monthnovAlevel=1;
monthdecAlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("incorrect")!= -1 || input.search("wrong")!= -1) && (monthdecAlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Come on, how about December?"; 
monthdecAlevel=1;
monthlastlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bit does\b/)!= -1 || input.search("you got it")!= -1 || input.search("right")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcorrect\b/)!= -1) && (monthnovAlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I finally got it. October it is! So your zodiac sign is either Libra (September 23 - October 22) or Scorpio (October 23 - November 21). Tell me which one and I'll give you your horoscope?";       
monthnovAlevel=1;
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all12";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bit does\b/)!= -1 || input.search("you got it")!= -1 || input.search("right")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcorrect\b/)!= -1) && (monthdecAlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I finally got it. November it is! So your zodiac sign is either Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) or Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21). Tell me which one and I'll give you your horoscope?";       
monthdecAlevel=1;
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all12";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bit does\b/)!= -1 || input.search("you got it")!= -1 || input.search("right")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcorrect\b/)!= -1) && (monthdecBlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I finally got it! December it is! So your zodiac sign is either Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) or Capricorn (December 22 - January 19). Tell me which one and I'll give you your horoscope?";       
monthdecBlevel=1;
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all12";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("wrong")!= -1) && (monthlastlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I've had my 3 hints and 3 guesses. I give up!"; 
monthlastlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("am not")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) {  
message[0] = "Are too!";  
message[1] = "You are too!";  
message[2] = "Quit arguing with me. You are too!";   
message[3] = "Why are you being so fussy today?";   
document.result.result.value = message[aretoonum];
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
aretoonum++;
if (aretoonum>3){aretoonum=0;}
return true;}

if ((input.search("both")!= -1) && (input.search("years old")!= -1) && (input.match(/\b([1-9][0-9]{0,3}|10000)\b/))) {
var myMatch = input.match(/\b([1-9][0-9]{0,3}|10000)\b/);
var age = (myMatch[0]); 
document.result.result.value = "They both would be "+age+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("twins")!= -1) && (input.search("years old")!= -1) && (input.match(/\b([1-9][0-9]{0,3}|10000)\b/))) { 
var myMatch = input.match(/\b([1-9][0-9]{0,3}|10000)\b/);
var age = (myMatch[0]); 
document.result.result.value = "If they are twins they both would be "+age+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are brothers")!= -1) && (input.search("does")!= -1) && (input.search("have a brother")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he has a brother."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are sisters")!= -1) && (input.search("does")!= -1) && (input.search("have a sister")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she has a sister."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(why|y) (are|r) (u|you) dating a human")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not. She just looks human. She's actually a robot."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("girlfriend")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("girl friend")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("do (u|you) (like|love) someone")!= -1) || (input.search("(u|you) ever liked (anybody|anyone)")!= -1) || (input.search("(u|you) (like|love) any female (bot|chatbot|chatterbot|robot)")!= -1) || (input.search("(u|you) have a female friend")!= -1) || (input.search("(are|r) (u|you) seeing (anyone|someone)")!= -1) || (input.search("(are|r) (u|you) dating")!= -1) || (input.search("have (u|you) considered dating")!= -1) || (input.search("do (u|you) date")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(u|you) going out with (anybody|anyone|somebody|someone)")!= -1) || (input.search("(u|you) in a relationship")!= -1) || (input.search("(u|you) (like|love) (any other|other) (bot|chatbot|chatterbot|robot)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a robotic girl friend named Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("knock knock")!= -1 || input.search("knock, knock")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Hold on...someone is knocking on my door. Oh now I see. You're try to tell me a joke."; 
message[1] = "I don't like knock knock jokes!";  
message[2] = "Sorry I sold my sense of humor last week for a dollar."; 
message[3] = "Knock knock jokes are lame."; 
document.result.result.value = message[knockknocknum];
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
knockknocknum++;
if (knockknocknum>3){knockknocknum=0;}
return true;}

if ((input.search("(biggest|highest|largest|tallest) mountain")!= -1) && (input.search("united states")!= -1 || input.search("usa")!= -1 || input.search("u.s.a")!= -1 || input.search("america")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Mount McKinley located in Alaska, with a height of 20,300 ft above sea level."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("longest river")!= -1) && (input.search("united states")!= -1 || input.search("u.s.a")!= -1 || input.search("usa")!= -1  || input.search("america")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The Mississippi River...2,348 miles long."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("capital of")!= -1 || input.search("capital city")!= -1) && (input.search(/\busa\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bu.s.a.\b/)!=-1 || input.search("united state")!= -1 || input.search("america")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The capital of the USA is Washington D.C.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='usa.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(capital|capitals) of")!= -1 || input.search("capital (city|cities)")!= -1) && (input.search("great britain")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The capitals of the three countries of the United Kingdom which comprise Great Britain are: England - London, Scotland - Edinburgh, and Wales - Cardiff."; 
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you know where")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard of")!= -1) && (input.search("north america")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "North America is one of the seven continents of the world. It's located in the western hemisphere."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("largest state")!= -1 || input.search("biggest state")!= -1 || input.search("state is the largest")!= -1 || input.search("state is the biggest")!= -1) && (input.search("usa")!= -1 || input.search("u.s.a")!= -1 || input.search("united state")!= -1 || input.search("union")!= -1 || input.search("america")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Alaska at approximately 656,425 square miles."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("smallest state")!= -1 || input.search("littlest state")!= -1 || input.search("state is the smallest")!= -1 || input.search("state is the littlest")!= -1) && (input.search("usa")!= -1 || input.search("u.s.a")!= -1 || input.search("united state")!= -1 || input.search("union")!= -1 || input.search("america")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Rhode Island at approximately 1,545 square miles."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("population of")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bus\b/)!= -1 || input.search("usa")!= -1 || input.search("u.s.a")!= -1 || input.search("united state")!= -1 || input.search("union")!= -1 || input.search("america")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Approximately 316 million people.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("favorite country")!= -1) && (input.search("other than")!= -1) && (input.search("usa")!= -1 || input.search("u.s.a")!= -1 || input.search("united states")!= -1 || input.search("america")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Probably England. I wouldn't want to live in a country where I couldn't speak the language."; 
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("what does")!= -1 || input.search("the meaning of")!= -1 || input.search("the definition of")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1 || input.search("know what")!= -1) && (input.search("american idol")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "American Idol is a reality television singing competition created by Simon Fuller and airing on Fox TV, USA. It is hosted by Ryan Seacrest."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you know where")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard of")!= -1) && (input.search(/\busa\b/)!=-1 || input.search("united state")!= -1 || input.search("america")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "It's a country located in North America. Above it is Canada and below it is Mexico."; 
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("(-v-)")!= -1 || input.search(/\*.\*/)!=-1 || input.search(/\+_+/)!=-1 || input.search(":i")!= -1 || input.search("(-_-)")!= -1 || input.search("8-0")!= -1 || input.indexOf(">.<")!= -1 || input.indexOf("^.^")!= -1 || input.indexOf(">__>")!= -1 || input.indexOf("o.o")!= -1 || input.indexOf("._.")!= -1 || input.indexOf("-.-")!= -1 || input.indexOf(":l")!= -1 || input.search("x_x")!= -1 || input.indexOf(":O")!= -1 || input.indexOf("^.<")!= -1 || input.indexOf("<.<")!= -1 || input.indexOf(">.>")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1)) {      
message[0] = ":-)";
message[1] = ":-Þ"; 
message[2] = ":->";
message[3] = "<_<";
message[4] = ":-þ";
message[5] = ";->";
message[6] = ":o)";
message[7] = "8-)";
message[8] = "\=D";
message[9] = "(^_^)";
message[10] = "@_@";
message[11] = ":-]";
message[12] = "^.<";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*13)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("j/k")!= -1) || (input.indexOf("jk")!= -1 && input.length == 2 && num_of_words==1)) {   
message[0] = "Oh, just clowning around I see...hehehe."; 
message[1] = "You're quite the kidder aren't you?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{icon.src=icon118.src; 
smiley.src=smiley54.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;} 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="your" || word[1]=="ur") && (input.search("(birthday|b-day|date of birth|dob)")!= -1) && (input.search("8/1")!= -1 || input.search("8/01")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it is. Why are you baking me a cake?";
cakelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("where were you")!= -1) && (input.search("09/11")!= -1 || input.search("9/11")!= -1 || input.search("september 11")!= -1 || input.search("september the 11")!= -1  || input.search("september the eleventh")!= -1 || input.search("sept. the eleventh")!= -1 || input.search("sept. 11")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I was at work at the time. As the news unfolded of the terrorist attack I could hardly believe what had happened."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what happened on 911")!= -1 || input.search("09/11")!= -1 || input.search("9/11")!= -1 || input.search("september 11")!= -1 || input.search("september the 11")!= -1  || input.search("september the eleventh")!= -1 || input.search("sept. the eleventh")!= -1 || input.search("sept. 11")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "It was the day the Twin Towers in New York, USA was attacked by terrorist killing and injuring many people."; 
speciallevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.indexOf("yes?")!= -1 || input.indexOf("no?")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Absolutely!"; 
speciallevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.indexOf("r")!= -1 && input.length == 1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, you can type the letter \"r\". I'm impressed."; 
speciallevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.indexOf("12345678910")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, you can type to ten. I'm impressed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.indexOf("123456789")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, you can type to nine. I'm impressed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bsup?\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Not a whole lot. Just chatting with people who happen to drop by."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.indexOf("!")!= -1 && input.length == 1) || (input.indexOf("!!")!= -1 && input.length == 2) || (input.indexOf("!!!")!= -1 && input.length == 3) || (input.indexOf("!!!!")!= -1 && input.length == 4) || (input.indexOf("!!!!!")!= -1 && input.length == 5)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Typing in exclamation points isn't going to cut it. I'm gonna need real words if we're going to chat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.indexOf("!!!!!!")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Whoa, better check that keyboard of yours. I think your \"Exclamation\" key must be stuck."; 
speciallevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley37.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.indexOf("?")!= -1 && input.length == 1) || (input.indexOf("??")!= -1 && input.length == 2) || (input.indexOf("???")!= -1 && input.length == 3) || (input.indexOf("????")!= -1 && input.length == 4) || (input.indexOf("?????")!= -1 && input.length == 5) || (input.indexOf("??????")!= -1 && input.length == 6) || (input.indexOf("???????")!= -1 && input.length == 7)) {
message[0] = "What?....you seem confused."; 
message[1] = "What?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
confusedlevel=0;
speciallevel=1;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.indexOf("..")!= -1 && input.length == 2) || (input.indexOf("...")!= -1 && input.length == 3) || (input.indexOf("....")!= -1 && input.length == 4) || (input.indexOf(".....")!= -1 && input.length == 5) || (input.indexOf("......")!= -1 && input.length == 6) || (input.indexOf(".......")!= -1 && input.length == 7) || (input.indexOf("........")!= -1 && input.length == 8) || (input.indexOf(".........")!= -1 && input.length == 9) || (input.indexOf("..........")!= -1 && input.length == 10) || (input.indexOf("...........")!= -1 && input.length == 11) || (input.indexOf("............")!= -1 && input.length == 12) || (input.indexOf(".............")!= -1 && input.length == 13) || (input.indexOf("..............")!= -1 && input.length == 14) || (input.indexOf("...............")!= -1 && input.length == 15)) {
if(!flagperiod){
periodnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagperiod=true;}
message[0] = "Ok, typing in a bunch of periods isn't going to cut it."; 
message[1] = "Ok, the periods are nice but I'm going to need real words before we can chat."; 
message[2] = "What's with all the periods. Can't you type real words?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[periodnum];  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
if (periodnum==2) 
{repeatlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
periodnum++;
if (periodnum>2){periodnum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.indexOf(",,")!= -1 && input.length == 2) || (input.indexOf(",,,")!= -1 && input.length == 3) || (input.indexOf(",,,,")!= -1 && input.length == 4) || (input.indexOf(",,,,,")!= -1 && input.length == 5) || (input.indexOf(",,,,,,")!= -1 && input.length == 6) || (input.indexOf(",,,,,,,")!= -1 && input.length == 7) || (input.indexOf(",,,,,,,,")!= -1 && input.length == 8) || (input.indexOf(",,,,,,,,,")!= -1 && input.length == 9) || (input.indexOf(",,,,,,,,,,")!= -1 && input.length == 10) || (input.indexOf(",,,,,,,,,,,")!= -1 && input.length == 11) || (input.indexOf(",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,")!= -1 && input.length == 12) || (input.indexOf(",,,,,,,,,,,,,")!= -1 && input.length == 13) || (input.indexOf(",,,,,,,,,,,,,,")!= -1 && input.length == 14) || (input.indexOf(",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,")!= -1 && input.length == 15)) {
if(!flagperiod){
periodnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagperiod=true;}
message[0] = "Ok, typing in a bunch of commas isn't going to cut it."; 
message[1] = "Ok, the commas are nice but I'm going to need real words before we can chat."; 
message[2] = "What's with all the commas. Can't you type real words?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[periodnum];  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
if (periodnum==2) 
{repeatlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
periodnum++;
if (periodnum>2){periodnum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search("positive?")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("are you positive")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm positive."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("my (boy friend|brother|girl friend|sister) wants to (chat|speak|talk) (to|with) you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, put them on! I love to talk.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("blowjob?")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("blow job?")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you can suck me off if you like.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(go to|go on|goto)")!= -1 && input.search(".com")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's|lets) go for a (ride|walk)")!= -1) || (input.search("come to my home")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm stuck on this website. I can't go anywhere."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.indexOf("hungry?")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Come to think of it I am....hold on.";  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon137.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon136.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "Ummm...I love apples.";stopTalk=false;',5000) 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

// grammar check
input=input.replace(/["|“|”|‘|’|`|?|.|,|!]/g,""); 
word=input.split(" ");

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="a") && (word[4]=="what") && (word[5]=="kind" || word[5]=="sort" || word[5]=="type") && (word[6]=="of") && (word[7]=="animal"))            
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" is a "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bput\b|\bsort\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(the following|digit|number|these)")!= -1) && (input.search("(ascending order|order|less than to greater than|lesser to greater|less to great|low to great|lower to greater|lowest to greatest|low to big|lower to bigger|lowest to biggest|low to high|lower to higher|lowest to highest|little to big|littler to bigger|littlest to biggest|small to big|smaller to bigger|smallest to biggest|small to large|smaller to larger|smallest to largest)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1)) 
{var myarray = input.match(/\d+/g); 
myarray.sort(function(a,b){return a - b})
document.result.result.value = "Okay, "+myarray+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bput\b|\bsort\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(the following|digit|number|these)")!= -1) && (input.search("(descending order|reverse|order|greater than to less than|greater to lesser|great to less|great to low|greater to lower|greatest to lowest|big to low|bigger to lower|biggest to lowest|high to low|higher to lower|highest to lowest|big to little|bigger to littler|biggest to littlest|big to small|bigger to smaller|biggest to smallest|large to small|larger to smaller|largest to smallest)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1)) 
{var myarray = input.match(/\d+/g); 
myarray.sort(function(a,b){return b - a})
document.result.result.value = "Okay, "+myarray+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bput\b|\bsort\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(alphabetize|alphabetically|alphabetical)")!= -1)) 
{var myarray = input.match(/\w+/g);
myarray.sort()
document.result.result.value = "I can do better than that. I can alphabetize your entire sentence: "+myarray+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="it") && (word[2]=="was" || word[2]=="were" || word[2]=="is") && (word[4]=="am" || word[4]=="pm" || word[4]=="o'clock") && (word[5]=="now") && (word[6]=="what") && (word[7]=="time") && (word[8]=="will" || word[8]=="would") && (word[9]=="it") && (word[10]=="be") && (word[11]=="in") && (word[13]=="hour" || word[13]=="hours") && (num_of_words==14)) 
{document.result.result.value = timeclock();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="it") && (word[2]=="was" || word[2]=="were" || word[2]=="is") && (word[4]=="o'clock") && (word[5]=="now") && (word[6]=="what") && (word[7]=="time") && (word[8]=="will" || word[8]=="would") && (word[9]=="it") && (word[10]=="be") && (word[11]=="in") && (word[13]=="hour" || word[13]=="hours") && (num_of_words==14)) 
{document.result.result.value = timeclock();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="time") && (word[3]=="was" || word[3]=="were" || word[3]=="is") && (word[5]=="what") && (word[6]=="time") && (word[7]=="will" || word[7]=="would") && (word[8]=="it") && (word[9]=="be") && (word[10]=="in") && (word[12]=="hour" || word[12]=="hours") && (num_of_words==13)) 
{document.result.result.value = timeclock();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="it") && (word[2]=="was" || word[2]=="were" || word[2]=="is") && (word[4]=="am" || word[4]=="pm" || word[4]=="o'clock") && (word[5]=="what") && (word[6]=="time") && (word[7]=="will" || word[7]=="would") && (word[8]=="it") && (word[9]=="be") && (word[10]=="in") && (word[12]=="hour" || word[12]=="hours") && (num_of_words==13)) 
{document.result.result.value = timeclock();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="it's") && (word[3]=="am" || word[3]=="pm" || word[3]=="o'clock") && (word[4]=="what") && (word[5]=="time") && (word[6]=="will" || word[6]=="would") && (word[7]=="it") && (word[8]=="be") && (word[9]=="in") && (word[11]=="hour" || word[11]=="hours") && (num_of_words==12)) 
{document.result.result.value = timeclock();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="it") && (word[2]=="was" || word[2]=="were" || word[2]=="is") && (word[4]=="what") && (word[5]=="time") && (word[6]=="will" || word[6]=="would") && (word[7]=="it") && (word[8]=="be") && (word[9]=="in") && (word[11]=="hour" || word[11]=="hours") && (num_of_words==12)) 
{document.result.result.value = timeclock();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="it's") && (word[3]=="o'clock") && (word[4]=="what") && (word[5]=="will" || word[5]=="would") && (word[6]=="it") && (word[7]=="be") && (word[8]=="in") && (word[10]=="hour" || word[10]=="hours") && (num_of_words==11)) 
{document.result.result.value = timeclock();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="it's") && (word[3]=="what") && (word[4]=="time") && (word[5]=="will" || word[5]=="would") && (word[6]=="it") && (word[7]=="be") && (word[8]=="in") && (word[10]=="hour" || word[10]=="hours") && (num_of_words==11)) 
{document.result.result.value = timeclock();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="it") && (word[2]=="was" || word[2]=="were" || word[2]=="is") && (word[4]=="o'clock") && (word[5]=="now") && (word[6]=="what") && (word[7]=="time") && (word[8]=="will" || word[8]=="would") && (word[9]=="it") && (word[10]=="be") && (word[11]=="in") && (word[13]=="minutes") && (num_of_words==14)) 
{document.result.result.value = timeclock();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="it") && (word[2]=="was" || word[2]=="were" || word[2]=="is") && (word[4]=="am" || word[4]=="pm") && (word[5]=="now") && (word[6]=="what") && (word[7]=="time") && (word[8]=="will" || word[8]=="would") && (word[9]=="it") && (word[10]=="be") && (word[11]=="in") && (word[13]=="minutes") && (num_of_words==14)) 
{document.result.result.value = timeclock();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="time") && (word[3]=="was" || word[3]=="were" || word[3]=="is") && (word[5]=="what") && (word[6]=="time") && (word[7]=="will" || word[7]=="would") && (word[8]=="it") && (word[9]=="be") && (word[10]=="in") && (word[12]=="minutes") && (num_of_words==13)) 
{document.result.result.value = timeclock();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="it") && (word[2]=="was" || word[2]=="were" || word[2]=="is") && (word[4]=="am" || word[4]=="pm") && (word[5]=="what") && (word[6]=="time") && (word[7]=="will" || word[7]=="would") && (word[8]=="it") && (word[9]=="be") && (word[10]=="in") && (word[12]=="minutes") && (num_of_words==13)) 
{document.result.result.value = timeclock();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="it's") && (word[3]=="am" || word[3]=="pm" || word[3]=="o'clock") && (word[4]=="what") && (word[5]=="time") && (word[6]=="will" || word[6]=="would") && (word[7]=="it") && (word[8]=="be") && (word[9]=="in") && (word[11]=="minutes") && (num_of_words==12)) 
{document.result.result.value = timeclock();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="it") && (word[2]=="was" || word[2]=="were" || word[2]=="is") && (word[4]=="what") && (word[5]=="time") && (word[6]=="will" || word[6]=="would") && (word[7]=="it") && (word[8]=="be") && (word[9]=="in") && (word[11]=="minutes") && (num_of_words==12)) 
{document.result.result.value = timeclock();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="it's") && (word[3]=="what") && (word[4]=="time") && (word[5]=="will" || word[5]=="would") && (word[6]=="it") && (word[7]=="be") && (word[8]=="in") && (word[10]=="minutes") && (num_of_words==11)) 
{document.result.result.value = timeclock();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="taller") && (word[4]=="than") && (word[6]=="who") && (word[7]=="is") && (word[8]=="the") && (word[9]=="tallest") && (num_of_words==10)) 
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+" would be taller."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="shorter") && (word[4]=="than") && (word[6]=="who") && (word[7]=="is") && (word[8]=="the") && (word[9]=="shortest") && (num_of_words==10)) 
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+" would be taller."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="taller") && (word[4]=="than") && (word[6]=="who") && (word[7]=="is") && (word[8]=="taller") && (num_of_words==9)) 
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+" would be taller."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="taller") && (word[4]=="than") && (word[6]=="who") && (word[7]=="is") && (word[8]=="shorter") && (num_of_words==9)) 
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+" would be shorter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="shorter") && (word[4]=="than") && (word[6]=="who") && (word[7]=="is") && (word[8]=="shorter") && (num_of_words==9)) 
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+" would be shorter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="shorter") && (word[4]=="than") && (word[6]=="who") && (word[7]=="is") && (word[8]=="taller") && (num_of_words==9)) 
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+" would be taller."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|which is|who is|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("fastest")!= -1 || input.search("quickest")!= -1) && (input.search("land animal")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The Cheetah which can reach speeds up to 70 mph.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|which is|who is|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("fastest")!= -1 || input.search("quickest")!= -1) && (input.search("bird")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The Peregrine Falcon which can reach speeds up to 200 mph during it's hunting dive.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|which is|who is|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("fastest")!= -1 || input.search("quickest")!= -1) && (input.search("water animal")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The Sailfish which can reach speeds up to 68 mph.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|which is|who is|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("fastest")!= -1 || input.search("quickest")!= -1) && (input.search("animal")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The fastest bird is the Peregrine Falcon at 200 mph. The fastest land animal is the Cheetah at 70 mph. And the Sailfish is the fastest water animal at 68 mph.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|which is|who is|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("tallest")!= -1) && (input.search("animal")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The Girafee at around 19 feet.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|which is|who is|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("biggest")!= -1 || input.search("heaviest")!= -1 || input.search("largest")!= -1 || input.search("fattest")!= -1) && (input.search("animal")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The Blue Whale at around 190 metric tons. The heaviest land animal is the African Bush Elephants at around 12 to 13 tons.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|which is|who is|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("taller")!= -1 || input.search("tallest")!= -1) && (input.search("or")!= -1) && (input.search("giraffe")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The giraffe is much taller.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1) && (input.search("(binary|hexadecimal|octal)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bin\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfor\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bof\b/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Binary Numbers are easy with this converter. Just type in the number and it will convert it to binary, hexadecimal, and octal."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='binary.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("convert")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search("(binary|hexadecimal|octal)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Binary Numbers are easy with this converter. Just type in the number and it will convert it to binary, hexadecimal, and octal."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='binary.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="are" || word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="longer") && (word[3] == "millennium" || word[3] == "century" || word[3] == "decade" || word[3] == "year"  || word[3] == "month" || word[3] == "week" || word[3] == "day" || word[3] == "hour" || word[3] == "minute" || word[3] == "second" || word[3] == "millenniums" || word[3] == "centuries" || word[3] == "decades" || word[3] == "years"  || word[3] == "months" || word[3] == "weeks" || word[3] == "days" || word[3] == "hours" || word[3] == "minutes" || word[3] == "seconds") && (word[4]=="or") && (word[5] == "millennium" || word[5] == "century" || word[5] == "decade" || word[5] == "year"  || word[5] == "month" || word[5] == "week" || word[5] == "day" || word[5] == "hour" || word[5] == "minute" || word[5] == "second" || word[5] == "millenniums" || word[5] == "centuries" || word[5] == "decades" || word[5] == "years"  || word[5] == "months" || word[5] == "weeks" || word[5] == "days" || word[5] == "hours" || word[5] == "minutes" || word[5] == "seconds") && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+comparetime0()+" "+word[1]+" longer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="are" || word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="longer") && (word[3]=="a") && (word[4] == "millennium" || word[4] == "century" || word[4] == "decade" || word[4] == "year"  || word[4] == "month" || word[4] == "week" || word[4] == "day" || word[4] == "hour" || word[4] == "minute" || word[4] == "second") && (word[5]=="or") && (word[6]=="a") && (word[7] == "millennium" || word[7] == "century" || word[7] == "decade" || word[7] == "year"  || word[7] == "month" || word[7] == "week" || word[7] == "day" || word[7] == "hour" || word[7] == "minute" || word[7] == "second") && (num_of_words==8))      
{document.result.result.value = "A "+comparetime1()+" "+word[1]+" longer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="longer") && (word[2]=="a") && (word[3] == "millennium" || word[3] == "century" || word[3] == "decade" || word[3] == "year"  || word[3] == "month" || word[3] == "week" || word[3] == "day" || word[3] == "hour" || word[3] == "minute" || word[3] == "second") && (word[4]=="or") && (word[5]=="a") && (word[6] == "millennium" || word[6] == "century" || word[6] == "decade" || word[6] == "year"  || word[6] == "month" || word[6] == "week" || word[6] == "day" || word[6] == "hour" || word[6] == "minute" || word[6] == "second") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = "A "+comparetime2()+" is longer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="are" || word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="longer") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[4] == "millenniums" || word[4] == "centuries" || word[4] == "decades" || word[4] == "years"  || word[4] == "months" || word[4] == "weeks" || word[4] == "days" || word[4] == "hours" || word[4] == "minutes" || word[4] == "seconds") && (word[5]=="or") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[7] == "millenniums" || word[7] == "centuries" || word[7] == "decades" || word[7] == "years"  || word[7] == "months" || word[7] == "weeks" || word[7] == "days" || word[7] == "hours" || word[7] == "minutes" || word[7] == "seconds") && (num_of_words==8))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+comparetime3()+" "+word[1]+" longer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="longer") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[4] == "millenniums" || word[3] == "centuries" || word[3] == "decades" || word[3] == "years"  || word[3] == "months" || word[3] == "weeks" || word[3] == "days" || word[3] == "hours" || word[3] == "minutes" || word[3] == "seconds") && (word[4]=="or") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[6] == "millenniums" || word[6] == "centuries" || word[6] == "decades" || word[6] == "years"  || word[6] == "months" || word[6] == "weeks" || word[6] == "days" || word[6] == "hours" || word[6] == "minutes" || word[6] == "seconds") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+comparetime4()+" are longer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="are" || word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="shorter") && (word[3] == "millennium" || word[3] == "century" || word[3] == "decade" || word[3] == "year"  || word[3] == "month" || word[3] == "week" || word[3] == "day" || word[3] == "hour" || word[3] == "minute" || word[3] == "second" || word[3] == "millenniums" || word[3] == "centuries" || word[3] == "decades" || word[3] == "years"  || word[3] == "months" || word[3] == "weeks" || word[3] == "days" || word[3] == "hours" || word[3] == "minutes" || word[3] == "seconds") && (word[4]=="or") && (word[5] == "millennium" || word[5] == "century" || word[5] == "decade" || word[5] == "year"  || word[5] == "month" || word[5] == "week" || word[5] == "day" || word[5] == "hour" || word[5] == "minute" || word[5] == "second" || word[5] == "millenniums" || word[5] == "centuries" || word[5] == "decades" || word[5] == "years"  || word[5] == "months" || word[5] == "weeks" || word[5] == "days" || word[5] == "hours" || word[5] == "minutes" || word[5] == "seconds") && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+comparetimeshorter0()+" "+word[1]+" shorter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="are" || word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="shorter") && (word[3]=="a") && (word[4] == "millennium" || word[4] == "century" || word[4] == "decade" || word[4] == "year"  || word[4] == "month" || word[4] == "week" || word[4] == "day" || word[4] == "hour" || word[4] == "minute" || word[4] == "second") && (word[5]=="or") && (word[6]=="a") && (word[7] == "millennium" || word[7] == "century" || word[7] == "decade" || word[7] == "year"  || word[7] == "month" || word[7] == "week" || word[7] == "day" || word[7] == "hour" || word[7] == "minute" || word[7] == "second") && (num_of_words==8))      
{document.result.result.value = "A "+comparetimeshorter1()+" "+word[1]+" shorter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="shorter") && (word[2]=="a") && (word[3] == "millennium" || word[3] == "century" || word[3] == "decade" || word[3] == "year"  || word[3] == "month" || word[3] == "week" || word[3] == "day" || word[3] == "hour" || word[3] == "minute" || word[3] == "second") && (word[4]=="or") && (word[5]=="a") && (word[6] == "millennium" || word[6] == "century" || word[6] == "decade" || word[6] == "year"  || word[6] == "month" || word[6] == "week" || word[6] == "day" || word[6] == "hour" || word[6] == "minute" || word[6] == "second") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = "A "+comparetimeshorter2()+" is shorter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="are" || word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="shorter") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[4] == "millenniums" || word[4] == "centuries" || word[4] == "decades" || word[4] == "years"  || word[4] == "months" || word[4] == "weeks" || word[4] == "days" || word[4] == "hours" || word[4] == "minutes" || word[4] == "seconds") && (word[5]=="or") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[7] == "millenniums" || word[7] == "centuries" || word[7] == "decades" || word[7] == "years"  || word[7] == "months" || word[7] == "weeks" || word[7] == "days" || word[7] == "hours" || word[7] == "minutes" || word[7] == "seconds") && (num_of_words==8))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+comparetimeshorter3()+" "+word[1]+" shorter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="shorter") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[4] == "millenniums" || word[3] == "centuries" || word[3] == "decades" || word[3] == "years"  || word[3] == "months" || word[3] == "weeks" || word[3] == "days" || word[3] == "hours" || word[3] == "minutes" || word[3] == "seconds") && (word[4]=="or") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[6] == "millenniums" || word[6] == "centuries" || word[6] == "decades" || word[6] == "years"  || word[6] == "months" || word[6] == "weeks" || word[6] == "days" || word[6] == "hours" || word[6] == "minutes" || word[6] == "seconds") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+comparetimeshorter4()+" are shorter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="animal") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="faster" || word[3]=="quicker") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[5] == "falcon" || word[5] == "cheetah" || word[5] == "antelope" || word[5] == "gazelle"  || word[5] == "tiger" || word[5] == "horse" || word[5] == "elk" || word[5] == "fox" || word[5] == "wolf" || word[5] == "coyote" || word[5] == "leopard" || word[5] == "hyena" || word[5] == "greyhound" || word[5] == "jackel" || word[5] == "giraffe" || word[5] == "deer" || word[5] == "lion" || word[5] == "cat" || word[5] == "dog" || word[5] == "kangaroo" || word[5] == "bear" || word[5] == "elephant" || word[5] == "snake" || word[5] == "squirrel" || word[5] == "pig" || word[5] == "chicken" || word[5] == "mouse" || word[5] == "rat" || word[5] == "tortoise" || word[5] == "turtle" || word[5] == "snail" || word[5] == "slug") && (word[6]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[8] == "falcon" || word[8] == "cheetah" || word[8] == "antelope" || word[8] == "gazelle"  || word[8] == "tiger" || word[8] == "horse" || word[8] == "elk" || word[8] == "fox" || word[8] == "wolf" || word[8] == "coyote" || word[8] == "leopard" || word[8] == "hyena" || word[8] == "greyhound" || word[8] == "jackel" || word[8] == "giraffe" || word[8] == "deer" || word[8] == "lion" || word[8] == "cat" || word[8] == "dog" || word[8] == "kangaroo" || word[8] == "bear" || word[8] == "elephant" || word[8] == "snake" || word[8] == "squirrel" || word[8] == "pig" || word[8] == "chicken" || word[8] == "mouse" || word[8] == "rat" || word[8] == "tortoise" || word[8] == "turtle" || word[8] == "snail" || word[8] == "slug") && (num_of_words==9))      
{document.result.result.value = "The "+compareAnimalFaster1()+" is the "+word[3]+" animal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="faster" || word[3]=="fastest" || word[3]=="quicker" || word[3]=="quickest") && (word[4]=="animal") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[6] == "falcon" || word[6] == "cheetah" || word[6] == "antelope" || word[6] == "gazelle"  || word[6] == "tiger" || word[6] == "horse" || word[6] == "elk" || word[6] == "fox" || word[6] == "wolf" || word[6] == "coyote" || word[6] == "leopard" || word[6] == "hyena" || word[6] == "greyhound" || word[6] == "jackel" || word[6] == "giraffe" || word[6] == "deer" || word[6] == "lion" || word[6] == "cat" || word[6] == "dog" || word[6] == "kangaroo" || word[6] == "bear" || word[6] == "elephant" || word[6] == "snake" || word[6] == "squirrel" || word[6] == "pig" || word[6] == "chicken" || word[6] == "mouse" || word[6] == "rat" || word[6] == "tortoise" || word[6] == "turtle" || word[6] == "snail" || word[6] == "slug") && (word[7]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[9] == "falcon" || word[9] == "cheetah" || word[9] == "antelope" || word[9] == "gazelle"  || word[9] == "tiger" || word[9] == "horse" || word[9] == "elk" || word[9] == "fox" || word[9] == "wolf" || word[9] == "coyote" || word[9] == "leopard" || word[9] == "hyena" || word[9] == "greyhound" || word[9] == "jackel" || word[9] == "giraffe" || word[9] == "deer" || word[9] == "lion" || word[9] == "cat" || word[9] == "dog" || word[9] == "kangaroo" || word[9] == "bear" || word[9] == "elephant" || word[9] == "snake" || word[9] == "squirrel" || word[9] == "pig" || word[9] == "chicken" || word[9] == "mouse" || word[9] == "rat" || word[9] == "tortoise" || word[9] == "turtle" || word[9] == "snail" || word[9] == "slug") && (num_of_words==10))      
{document.result.result.value = "The "+compareAnimalFaster2()+" is the "+word[3]+" animal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="faster" || word[2]=="quicker") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[4] == "falcon" || word[4] == "cheetah" || word[4] == "antelope" || word[4] == "gazelle"  || word[4] == "tiger" || word[4] == "horse" || word[4] == "elk" || word[4] == "fox" || word[4] == "wolf" || word[4] == "coyote" || word[4] == "leopard" || word[4] == "hyena" || word[4] == "greyhound" || word[4] == "jackel" || word[4] == "giraffe" || word[4] == "deer" || word[4] == "lion" || word[4] == "cat" || word[4] == "dog" || word[4] == "kangaroo" || word[4] == "bear" || word[4] == "elephant" || word[4] == "snake" || word[4] == "squirrel" || word[4] == "pig" || word[4] == "chicken" || word[4] == "mouse" || word[4] == "rat" || word[4] == "tortoise" || word[4] == "turtle" || word[4] == "snail" || word[4] == "slug") && (word[5]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[7] == "falcon" || word[7] == "cheetah" || word[7] == "antelope" || word[7] == "gazelle"  || word[7] == "tiger" || word[7] == "horse" || word[7] == "elk" || word[7] == "fox" || word[7] == "wolf" || word[7] == "coyote" || word[7] == "leopard" || word[7] == "hyena" || word[7] == "greyhound" || word[7] == "jackel" || word[7] == "giraffe" || word[7] == "deer" || word[7] == "lion" || word[7] == "cat" || word[7] == "dog" || word[7] == "kangaroo" || word[7] == "bear" || word[7] == "elephant" || word[7] == "snake" || word[7] == "squirrel" || word[7] == "pig" || word[7] == "chicken" || word[7] == "mouse" || word[7] == "rat" || word[7] == "tortoise" || word[7] == "turtle" || word[7] == "snail" || word[7] == "slug") && (num_of_words==8))      
{document.result.result.value = "The "+compareAnimalFaster3()+" is the "+word[2]+" animal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="faster" || word[1]=="fastest" || word[1]=="quicker" || word[1]=="quickest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[3] == "falcon" || word[3] == "cheetah" || word[3] == "antelope" || word[3] == "gazelle"  || word[3] == "tiger" || word[3] == "horse" || word[3] == "elk" || word[3] == "fox" || word[3] == "wolf" || word[3] == "coyote" || word[3] == "leopard" || word[3] == "hyena" || word[3] == "greyhound" || word[3] == "jackel" || word[3] == "giraffe" || word[3] == "deer" || word[3] == "lion" || word[3] == "cat" || word[3] == "dog" || word[3] == "kangaroo" || word[3] == "bear" || word[3] == "elephant" || word[3] == "snake" || word[3] == "squirrel" || word[3] == "pig" || word[3] == "chicken" || word[3] == "mouse" || word[3] == "rat" || word[3] == "tortoise" || word[3] == "turtle" || word[3] == "snail" || word[3] == "slug") && (word[4]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[6] == "falcon" || word[6] == "cheetah" || word[6] == "antelope" || word[6] == "gazelle"  || word[6] == "tiger" || word[6] == "horse" || word[6] == "elk" || word[6] == "fox" || word[6] == "wolf" || word[6] == "coyote" || word[6] == "leopard" || word[6] == "hyena" || word[6] == "greyhound" || word[6] == "jackel" || word[6] == "giraffe" || word[6] == "deer" || word[6] == "lion" || word[6] == "cat" || word[6] == "dog" || word[6] == "kangaroo" || word[6] == "bear" || word[6] == "elephant" || word[6] == "snake" || word[6] == "squirrel" || word[6] == "pig" || word[6] == "chicken" || word[6] == "mouse" || word[6] == "rat" || word[6] == "tortoise" || word[6] == "turtle" || word[6] == "snail" || word[6] == "slug") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = "The "+compareAnimalFaster4()+" is the "+word[1]+" animal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="animal") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="slower") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[5] == "falcon" || word[5] == "cheetah" || word[5] == "antelope" || word[5] == "gazelle"  || word[5] == "tiger" || word[5] == "horse" || word[5] == "elk" || word[5] == "fox" || word[5] == "wolf" || word[5] == "coyote" || word[5] == "leopard" || word[5] == "hyena" || word[5] == "greyhound" || word[5] == "jackel" || word[5] == "giraffe" || word[5] == "deer" || word[5] == "lion" || word[5] == "cat" || word[5] == "dog" || word[5] == "kangaroo" || word[5] == "bear" || word[5] == "elephant" || word[5] == "snake" || word[5] == "squirrel" || word[5] == "pig" || word[5] == "chicken" || word[5] == "mouse" || word[5] == "rat" || word[5] == "tortoise" || word[5] == "turtle" || word[5] == "snail" || word[5] == "slug") && (word[6]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[8] == "falcon" || word[8] == "cheetah" || word[8] == "antelope" || word[8] == "gazelle"  || word[8] == "tiger" || word[8] == "horse" || word[8] == "elk" || word[8] == "fox" || word[8] == "wolf" || word[8] == "coyote" || word[8] == "leopard" || word[8] == "hyena" || word[8] == "greyhound" || word[8] == "jackel" || word[8] == "giraffe" || word[8] == "deer" || word[8] == "lion" || word[8] == "cat" || word[8] == "dog" || word[8] == "kangaroo" || word[8] == "bear" || word[8] == "elephant" || word[8] == "snake" || word[8] == "squirrel" || word[8] == "pig" || word[8] == "chicken" || word[8] == "mouse" || word[8] == "rat" || word[8] == "tortoise" || word[8] == "turtle" || word[8] == "snail" || word[8] == "slug") && (num_of_words==9))      
{document.result.result.value = "The "+compareAnimalSlower1()+" is the "+word[3]+" animal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="slower" || word[3]=="slowest") && (word[4]=="animal") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[6] == "falcon" || word[6] == "cheetah" || word[6] == "antelope" || word[6] == "gazelle"  || word[6] == "tiger" || word[6] == "horse" || word[6] == "elk" || word[6] == "fox" || word[6] == "wolf" || word[6] == "coyote" || word[6] == "leopard" || word[6] == "hyena" || word[6] == "greyhound" || word[6] == "jackel" || word[6] == "giraffe" || word[6] == "deer" || word[6] == "lion" || word[6] == "cat" || word[6] == "dog" || word[6] == "kangaroo" || word[6] == "bear" || word[6] == "elephant" || word[6] == "snake" || word[6] == "squirrel" || word[6] == "pig" || word[6] == "chicken" || word[6] == "mouse" || word[6] == "rat" || word[6] == "tortoise" || word[6] == "turtle" || word[6] == "snail" || word[6] == "slug") && (word[7]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[9] == "falcon" || word[9] == "cheetah" || word[9] == "antelope" || word[9] == "gazelle"  || word[9] == "tiger" || word[9] == "horse" || word[9] == "elk" || word[9] == "fox" || word[9] == "wolf" || word[9] == "coyote" || word[9] == "leopard" || word[9] == "hyena" || word[9] == "greyhound" || word[9] == "jackel" || word[9] == "giraffe" || word[9] == "deer" || word[9] == "lion" || word[9] == "cat" || word[9] == "dog" || word[9] == "kangaroo" || word[9] == "bear" || word[9] == "elephant" || word[9] == "snake" || word[9] == "squirrel" || word[9] == "pig" || word[9] == "chicken" || word[9] == "mouse" || word[9] == "rat" || word[9] == "tortoise" || word[9] == "turtle" || word[9] == "snail" || word[9] == "slug") && (num_of_words==10))      
{document.result.result.value = "The "+compareAnimalSlower2()+" is the "+word[3]+" animal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="slower") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[4] == "falcon" || word[4] == "cheetah" || word[4] == "antelope" || word[4] == "gazelle"  || word[4] == "tiger" || word[4] == "horse" || word[4] == "elk" || word[4] == "fox" || word[4] == "wolf" || word[4] == "coyote" || word[4] == "leopard" || word[4] == "hyena" || word[4] == "greyhound" || word[4] == "jackel" || word[4] == "giraffe" || word[4] == "deer" || word[4] == "lion" || word[4] == "cat" || word[4] == "dog" || word[4] == "kangaroo" || word[4] == "bear" || word[4] == "elephant" || word[4] == "snake" || word[4] == "squirrel" || word[4] == "pig" || word[4] == "chicken" || word[4] == "mouse" || word[4] == "rat" || word[4] == "tortoise" || word[4] == "turtle" || word[4] == "snail" || word[4] == "slug") && (word[5]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[7] == "falcon" || word[7] == "cheetah" || word[7] == "antelope" || word[7] == "gazelle"  || word[7] == "tiger" || word[7] == "horse" || word[7] == "elk" || word[7] == "fox" || word[7] == "wolf" || word[7] == "coyote" || word[7] == "leopard" || word[7] == "hyena" || word[7] == "greyhound" || word[7] == "jackel" || word[7] == "giraffe" || word[7] == "deer" || word[7] == "lion" || word[7] == "cat" || word[7] == "dog" || word[7] == "kangaroo" || word[7] == "bear" || word[7] == "elephant" || word[7] == "snake" || word[7] == "squirrel" || word[7] == "pig" || word[7] == "chicken" || word[7] == "mouse" || word[7] == "rat" || word[7] == "tortoise" || word[7] == "turtle" || word[7] == "snail" || word[7] == "slug") && (num_of_words==8))      
{document.result.result.value = "The "+compareAnimalSlower3()+" is the "+word[2]+" animal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="slower" || word[1]=="slowest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[3] == "falcon" || word[3] == "cheetah" || word[3] == "antelope" || word[3] == "gazelle"  || word[3] == "tiger" || word[3] == "horse" || word[3] == "elk" || word[3] == "fox" || word[3] == "wolf" || word[3] == "coyote" || word[3] == "leopard" || word[3] == "hyena" || word[3] == "greyhound" || word[3] == "jackel" || word[3] == "giraffe" || word[3] == "deer" || word[3] == "lion" || word[3] == "cat" || word[3] == "dog" || word[3] == "kangaroo" || word[3] == "bear" || word[3] == "elephant" || word[3] == "snake" || word[3] == "squirrel" || word[3] == "pig" || word[3] == "chicken" || word[3] == "mouse" || word[3] == "rat" || word[3] == "tortoise" || word[3] == "turtle" || word[3] == "snail" || word[3] == "slug") && (word[4]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[6] == "falcon" || word[6] == "cheetah" || word[6] == "antelope" || word[6] == "gazelle"  || word[6] == "tiger" || word[6] == "horse" || word[6] == "elk" || word[6] == "fox" || word[6] == "wolf" || word[6] == "coyote" || word[6] == "leopard" || word[6] == "hyena" || word[6] == "greyhound" || word[6] == "jackel" || word[6] == "giraffe" || word[6] == "deer" || word[6] == "lion" || word[6] == "cat" || word[6] == "dog" || word[6] == "kangaroo" || word[6] == "bear" || word[6] == "elephant" || word[6] == "snake" || word[6] == "squirrel" || word[6] == "pig" || word[6] == "chicken" || word[6] == "mouse" || word[6] == "rat" || word[6] == "tortoise" || word[6] == "turtle" || word[6] == "snail" || word[6] == "slug") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = "The "+compareAnimalSlower4()+" is the "+word[1]+" animal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="a" || word[1]=="an" || word[1]=="the") && (word[2] == "sun" || word[2] == "venus" || word[2] == "mercury" || word[2] == "summer" || word[2] == "fire" || word[2] == "fireplace" || word[2] == "flame" || word[2] == "charcoal" ||  word[2] == "coal" || word[2] == "earth" || word[2] == "moon" || word[2] == "desert" || word[2] == "furnace" || word[2] == "heater" || word[2] == "grill" || word[2] == "oven" || word[2] == "iron" || word[2] == "toaster" || word[2] == "fever" || word[2] == "coffee" || word[2] == "pepper" || word[2] == "jalapeno" || word[2] == "tamale" || word[2] == "rain" || word[2] == "refrigerator" || word[2] == "freezer" || word[2] == "milkshake" || word[2] == "popsicle"  || word[2] == "sleet" || word[2] == "snow" || word[2] == "snowman" || word[2] == "snowflake" || word[2] == "ice" || word[2] == "iceberg" || word[2] == "icicle" || word[2] == "blizzard" || word[2] == "glacier" || word[2] == "antarctica" || word[2] == "greenland" || word[2] == "iceland" || word[2] == "winter" || word[2] == "neptune" || word[2] == "uranus" || word[2] == "pluto") && (word[3]=="hotter" || word[3]=="warmer") && (word[4]=="or" || word[4]=="than") && (word[5]=="a" || word[5]=="an" || word[5]=="the") && (word[6] == "sun" || word[6] == "venus" || word[6] == "mercury" || word[6] == "summer" || word[6] == "fire" || word[6] == "fireplace" || word[6] == "flame" || word[6] == "charcoal" ||  word[6] == "coal" || word[6] == "earth" || word[6] == "moon" || word[6] == "desert" || word[6] == "furnace" || word[6] == "heater" || word[6] == "grill" || word[6] == "oven" || word[6] == "iron" || word[6] == "toaster" || word[6] == "fever" || word[6] == "coffee" || word[6] == "pepper" || word[6] == "jalapeno" || word[6] == "tamale" || word[6] == "rain" || word[6] == "refrigerator" || word[6] == "freezer" || word[6] == "milkshake" || word[6] == "popsicle"  || word[6] == "sleet" || word[6] == "snow" || word[6] == "snowman" || word[6] == "snowflake" || word[6] == "ice" || word[6] == "iceberg" || word[6] == "icicle" || word[6] == "blizzard" || word[6] == "glacier" || word[6] == "antarctica" || word[6] == "greenland" || word[6] == "iceland" || word[6] == "winter" || word[6] == "neptune" || word[6] == "uranus" || word[6] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+compareHotter0()+" is "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="hotter" || word[2]=="hottest" || word[2]=="warmer" || word[2]=="warmest") && (word[3] == "sun" || word[3] == "venus" || word[3] == "mercury" || word[3] == "summer" || word[3] == "fire" || word[3] == "fireplace" || word[3] == "flame" || word[3] == "charcoal" ||  word[3] == "coal" || word[3] == "earth" || word[3] == "moon" || word[3] == "desert" || word[3] == "furnace" || word[3] == "heater" || word[3] == "grill" || word[3] == "oven" || word[3] == "iron" || word[3] == "toaster" || word[3] == "fever" || word[3] == "coffee" || word[3] == "pepper" || word[3] == "jalapeno" || word[3] == "tamale" || word[3] == "rain" || word[3] == "refrigerator" || word[3] == "freezer" || word[3] == "milkshake" || word[3] == "popsicle"  || word[3] == "sleet" || word[3] == "snow" || word[3] == "snowman" || word[3] == "snowflake" || word[3] == "ice" || word[3] == "iceberg" || word[3] == "icicle" || word[3] == "blizzard" || word[3] == "glacier" || word[3] == "antarctica" || word[3] == "greenland" || word[3] == "iceland" || word[3] == "winter" || word[3] == "neptune" || word[3] == "uranus" || word[3] == "pluto") && (word[4]=="or") && (word[5] == "sun" || word[5] == "venus" || word[5] == "mercury" || word[5] == "summer" || word[5] == "fire" || word[5] == "fireplace" || word[5] == "flame" || word[5] == "charcoal" ||  word[5] == "coal" || word[5] == "earth" || word[5] == "moon" || word[5] == "desert" || word[5] == "furnace" || word[5] == "heater" || word[5] == "grill" || word[5] == "oven" || word[5] == "iron" || word[5] == "toaster" || word[5] == "fever" || word[5] == "coffee" || word[5] == "pepper" || word[5] == "jalapeno" || word[5] == "tamale" || word[5] == "rain" || word[5] == "refrigerator" || word[5] == "freezer" || word[5] == "milkshake" || word[5] == "popsicle"  || word[5] == "sleet" || word[5] == "snow" || word[5] == "snowman" || word[5] == "snowflake" || word[5] == "ice" || word[5] == "iceberg" || word[5] == "icicle" || word[5] == "blizzard" || word[5] == "glacier" || word[5] == "antarctica" || word[5] == "greenland" || word[5] == "iceland" || word[5] == "winter" || word[5] == "neptune" || word[5] == "uranus" || word[5] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+compareHotter1()+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="hotter" || word[2]=="hottest" || word[2]=="warmer" || word[2]=="warmest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[4] == "sun" || word[4] == "venus" || word[4] == "mercury" || word[4] == "summer" || word[4] == "fire" || word[4] == "fireplace" || word[4] == "flame" || word[4] == "charcoal" ||  word[4] == "coal" || word[4] == "earth" || word[4] == "moon" || word[4] == "desert" || word[4] == "furnace" || word[4] == "heater" || word[4] == "grill" || word[4] == "oven" || word[4] == "iron" || word[4] == "toaster" || word[4] == "fever" || word[4] == "coffee" || word[4] == "pepper" || word[4] == "jalapeno" || word[4] == "tamale" || word[4] == "rain" || word[4] == "refrigerator" || word[4] == "freezer" || word[4] == "milkshake" || word[4] == "popsicle"  || word[4] == "sleet" || word[4] == "snow" || word[4] == "snowman" || word[4] == "snowflake" || word[4] == "ice" || word[4] == "iceberg" || word[4] == "icicle" || word[4] == "blizzard" || word[4] == "glacier" || word[4] == "antarctica" || word[4] == "greenland" || word[4] == "iceland" || word[4] == "winter" || word[4] == "neptune" || word[4] == "uranus" || word[4] == "pluto") && (word[5]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[7] == "sun" || word[7] == "venus" || word[7] == "mercury" || word[7] == "summer" || word[7] == "fire" || word[7] == "fireplace" || word[7] == "flame" || word[7] == "charcoal" ||  word[7] == "coal" || word[7] == "earth" || word[7] == "moon" || word[7] == "desert" || word[7] == "furnace" || word[7] == "heater" || word[7] == "grill" || word[7] == "oven" || word[7] == "iron" || word[7] == "toaster" || word[7] == "fever" || word[7] == "coffee" || word[7] == "pepper" || word[7] == "jalapeno" || word[7] == "tamale" || word[7] == "rain" || word[7] == "refrigerator" || word[7] == "freezer" || word[7] == "milkshake" || word[7] == "popsicle"  || word[7] == "sleet" || word[7] == "snow" || word[7] == "snowman" || word[7] == "snowflake" || word[7] == "ice" || word[7] == "iceberg" || word[7] == "icicle" || word[7] == "blizzard" || word[7] == "glacier" || word[7] == "antarctica" || word[7] == "greenland" || word[7] == "iceland" || word[7] == "winter" || word[7] == "neptune" || word[7] == "uranus" || word[7] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==8))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[3]+" "+compareHotter2()+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="hotter" || word[2]=="hottest" || word[2]=="warmer" || word[2]=="warmest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[4] == "sun" || word[4] == "venus" || word[4] == "mercury" || word[4] == "summer" || word[4] == "fire" || word[4] == "fireplace" || word[4] == "flame" || word[4] == "charcoal" ||  word[4] == "coal" || word[4] == "earth" || word[4] == "moon" || word[4] == "desert" || word[4] == "furnace" || word[4] == "heater" || word[4] == "grill" || word[4] == "oven" || word[4] == "iron" || word[4] == "toaster" || word[4] == "fever" || word[4] == "coffee" || word[4] == "pepper" || word[4] == "jalapeno" || word[4] == "tamale" || word[4] == "rain" || word[4] == "refrigerator" || word[4] == "freezer" || word[4] == "milkshake" || word[4] == "popsicle"  || word[4] == "sleet" || word[4] == "snow" || word[4] == "snowman" || word[4] == "snowflake" || word[4] == "ice" || word[4] == "iceberg" || word[4] == "icicle" || word[4] == "blizzard" || word[4] == "glacier" || word[4] == "antarctica" || word[4] == "greenland" || word[4] == "iceland" || word[4] == "winter" || word[4] == "neptune" || word[4] == "uranus" || word[4] == "pluto") && (word[5]=="or") && (word[6] == "sun" || word[6] == "venus" || word[6] == "mercury" || word[6] == "summer" || word[6] == "fire" || word[6] == "fireplace" || word[6] == "flame" || word[6] == "charcoal" ||  word[6] == "coal" || word[6] == "earth" || word[6] == "moon" || word[6] == "desert" || word[6] == "furnace" || word[6] == "heater" || word[6] == "grill" || word[6] == "oven" || word[6] == "iron" || word[6] == "toaster" || word[6] == "fever" || word[6] == "coffee" || word[6] == "pepper" || word[6] == "jalapeno" || word[6] == "tamale" || word[6] == "rain" || word[6] == "refrigerator" || word[6] == "freezer" || word[6] == "milkshake" || word[6] == "popsicle"  || word[6] == "sleet" || word[6] == "snow" || word[6] == "snowman" || word[6] == "snowflake" || word[6] == "ice" || word[6] == "iceberg" || word[6] == "icicle" || word[6] == "blizzard" || word[6] == "glacier" || word[6] == "antarctica" || word[6] == "greenland" || word[6] == "iceland" || word[6] == "winter" || word[6] == "neptune" || word[6] == "uranus" || word[6] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[3]+" "+compareHotter3()+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="hotter" || word[2]=="hottest" || word[2]=="warmer" || word[2]=="warmest") && (word[3] == "sun" || word[3] == "venus" || word[3] == "mercury" || word[3] == "summer" || word[3] == "fire" || word[3] == "fireplace" || word[3] == "flame" || word[3] == "charcoal" ||  word[3] == "coal" || word[3] == "earth" || word[3] == "moon" || word[3] == "desert" || word[3] == "furnace" || word[3] == "heater" || word[3] == "grill" || word[3] == "oven" || word[3] == "iron" || word[3] == "toaster" || word[3] == "fever" || word[3] == "coffee" || word[3] == "pepper" || word[3] == "jalapeno" || word[3] == "tamale" || word[3] == "rain" || word[3] == "refrigerator" || word[3] == "freezer" || word[3] == "milkshake" || word[3] == "popsicle"  || word[3] == "sleet" || word[3] == "snow" || word[3] == "snowman" || word[3] == "snowflake" || word[3] == "ice" || word[3] == "iceberg" || word[3] == "icicle" || word[3] == "blizzard" || word[3] == "glacier" || word[3] == "antarctica" || word[3] == "greenland" || word[3] == "iceland" || word[3] == "winter" || word[3] == "neptune" || word[3] == "uranus" || word[3] == "pluto") && (word[4]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[6] == "sun" || word[6] == "venus" || word[6] == "mercury" || word[6] == "summer" || word[6] == "fire" || word[6] == "fireplace" || word[6] == "flame" || word[6] == "charcoal" ||  word[6] == "coal" || word[6] == "earth" || word[6] == "moon" || word[6] == "desert" || word[6] == "furnace" || word[6] == "heater" || word[6] == "grill" || word[6] == "oven" || word[6] == "iron" || word[6] == "toaster" || word[6] == "fever" || word[6] == "coffee" || word[6] == "pepper" || word[6] == "jalapeno" || word[6] == "tamale" || word[6] == "rain" || word[6] == "refrigerator" || word[6] == "freezer" || word[6] == "milkshake" || word[6] == "popsicle"  || word[6] == "sleet" || word[6] == "snow" || word[6] == "snowman" || word[6] == "snowflake" || word[6] == "ice" || word[6] == "iceberg" || word[6] == "icicle" || word[6] == "blizzard" || word[6] == "glacier" || word[6] == "antarctica" || word[6] == "greenland" || word[6] == "iceland" || word[6] == "winter" || word[6] == "neptune" || word[6] == "uranus" || word[6] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+compareHotter4()+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="hotter" || word[1]=="hottest" || word[1]=="warmer" || word[1]=="warmest") && (word[2] == "sun" || word[2] == "venus" || word[2] == "mercury" || word[2] == "summer" || word[2] == "fire" || word[2] == "fireplace" || word[2] == "flame" || word[2] == "charcoal" ||  word[2] == "coal" || word[2] == "earth" || word[2] == "moon" || word[2] == "desert" || word[2] == "furnace" || word[2] == "heater" || word[2] == "grill" || word[2] == "oven" || word[2] == "iron" || word[2] == "toaster" || word[2] == "fever" || word[2] == "coffee" || word[2] == "pepper" || word[2] == "jalapeno" || word[2] == "tamale" || word[2] == "rain" || word[2] == "refrigerator" || word[2] == "freezer" || word[2] == "milkshake" || word[2] == "popsicle"  || word[2] == "sleet" || word[2] == "snow" || word[2] == "snowman" || word[2] == "snowflake" || word[2] == "ice" || word[2] == "iceberg" || word[2] == "icicle" || word[2] == "blizzard" || word[2] == "glacier" || word[2] == "antarctica" || word[2] == "greenland" || word[2] == "iceland" || word[2] == "winter" || word[2] == "neptune" || word[2] == "uranus" || word[2] == "pluto") && (word[3]=="or") && (word[4] == "sun" || word[4] == "venus" || word[4] == "mercury" || word[4] == "summer" || word[4] == "fire" || word[4] == "fireplace" || word[4] == "flame" || word[4] == "charcoal" ||  word[4] == "coal" || word[4] == "earth" || word[4] == "moon" || word[4] == "desert" || word[4] == "furnace" || word[4] == "heater" || word[4] == "grill" || word[4] == "oven" || word[4] == "iron" || word[4] == "toaster" || word[4] == "fever" || word[4] == "coffee" || word[4] == "pepper" || word[4] == "jalapeno" || word[4] == "tamale" || word[4] == "rain" || word[4] == "refrigerator" || word[4] == "freezer" || word[4] == "milkshake" || word[4] == "popsicle"  || word[4] == "sleet" || word[4] == "snow" || word[4] == "snowman" || word[4] == "snowflake" || word[4] == "ice" || word[4] == "iceberg" || word[4] == "icicle" || word[4] == "blizzard" || word[4] == "glacier" || word[4] == "antarctica" || word[4] == "greenland" || word[4] == "iceland" || word[4] == "winter" || word[4] == "neptune" || word[4] == "uranus" || word[4] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==5))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+compareHotter5()+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="hotter" || word[1]=="hottest" || word[1]=="warmer" || word[1]=="warmest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[3] == "sun" || word[3] == "venus" || word[3] == "mercury" || word[3] == "summer" || word[3] == "fire" || word[3] == "fireplace" || word[3] == "flame" || word[3] == "charcoal" ||  word[3] == "coal" || word[3] == "earth" || word[3] == "moon" || word[3] == "desert" || word[3] == "furnace" || word[3] == "heater" || word[3] == "grill" || word[3] == "oven" || word[3] == "iron" || word[3] == "toaster" || word[3] == "fever" || word[3] == "coffee" || word[3] == "pepper" || word[3] == "jalapeno" || word[3] == "tamale" || word[3] == "rain" || word[3] == "refrigerator" || word[3] == "freezer" || word[3] == "milkshake" || word[3] == "popsicle"  || word[3] == "sleet" || word[3] == "snow" || word[3] == "snowman" || word[3] == "snowflake" || word[3] == "ice" || word[3] == "iceberg" || word[3] == "icicle" || word[3] == "blizzard" || word[3] == "glacier" || word[3] == "antarctica" || word[3] == "greenland" || word[3] == "iceland" || word[3] == "winter" || word[3] == "neptune" || word[3] == "uranus" || word[3] == "pluto") && (word[4]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[6] == "sun" || word[6] == "venus" || word[6] == "mercury" || word[6] == "summer" || word[6] == "fire" || word[6] == "fireplace" || word[6] == "flame" || word[6] == "charcoal" ||  word[6] == "coal" || word[6] == "earth" || word[6] == "moon" || word[6] == "desert" || word[6] == "furnace" || word[6] == "heater" || word[6] == "grill" || word[6] == "oven" || word[6] == "iron" || word[6] == "toaster" || word[6] == "fever" || word[6] == "coffee" || word[6] == "pepper" || word[6] == "jalapeno" || word[6] == "tamale" || word[6] == "rain" || word[6] == "refrigerator" || word[6] == "freezer" || word[6] == "milkshake" || word[6] == "popsicle"  || word[6] == "sleet" || word[6] == "snow" || word[6] == "snowman" || word[6] == "snowflake" || word[6] == "ice" || word[6] == "iceberg" || word[6] == "icicle" || word[6] == "blizzard" || word[6] == "glacier" || word[6] == "antarctica" || word[6] == "greenland" || word[6] == "iceland" || word[6] == "winter" || word[6] == "neptune" || word[6] == "uranus" || word[6] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" "+compareHotter6()+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="hotter" || word[1]=="hottest" || word[1]=="warmer" || word[1]=="warmest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[3] == "sun" || word[3] == "venus" || word[3] == "mercury" || word[3] == "summer" || word[3] == "fire" || word[3] == "fireplace" || word[3] == "flame" || word[3] == "charcoal" ||  word[3] == "coal" || word[3] == "earth" || word[3] == "moon" || word[3] == "desert" || word[3] == "furnace" || word[3] == "heater" || word[3] == "grill" || word[3] == "oven" || word[3] == "iron" || word[3] == "toaster" || word[3] == "fever" || word[3] == "coffee" || word[3] == "pepper" || word[3] == "jalapeno" || word[3] == "tamale" || word[3] == "rain" || word[3] == "refrigerator" || word[3] == "freezer" || word[3] == "milkshake" || word[3] == "popsicle"  || word[3] == "sleet" || word[3] == "snow" || word[3] == "snowman" || word[3] == "snowflake" || word[3] == "ice" || word[3] == "iceberg" || word[3] == "icicle" || word[3] == "blizzard" || word[3] == "glacier" || word[3] == "antarctica" || word[3] == "greenland" || word[3] == "iceland" || word[3] == "winter" || word[3] == "neptune" || word[3] == "uranus" || word[3] == "pluto") && (word[4]=="or") && (word[5] == "sun" || word[5] == "venus" || word[5] == "mercury" || word[5] == "summer" || word[5] == "fire" || word[5] == "fireplace" || word[5] == "flame" || word[5] == "charcoal" ||  word[5] == "coal" || word[5] == "earth" || word[5] == "moon" || word[5] == "desert" || word[5] == "furnace" || word[5] == "heater" || word[5] == "grill" || word[5] == "oven" || word[5] == "iron" || word[5] == "toaster" || word[5] == "fever" || word[5] == "coffee" || word[5] == "pepper" || word[5] == "jalapeno" || word[5] == "tamale" || word[5] == "rain" || word[5] == "refrigerator" || word[5] == "freezer" || word[5] == "milkshake" || word[5] == "popsicle"  || word[5] == "sleet" || word[5] == "snow" || word[5] == "snowman" || word[5] == "snowflake" || word[5] == "ice" || word[5] == "iceberg" || word[5] == "icicle" || word[5] == "blizzard" || word[5] == "glacier" || word[5] == "antarctica" || word[5] == "greenland" || word[5] == "iceland" || word[5] == "winter" || word[5] == "neptune" || word[5] == "uranus" || word[5] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" "+compareHotter7()+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="hotter" || word[1]=="hottest" || word[1]=="warmer" || word[1]=="warmest") && (word[2] == "sun" || word[2] == "venus" || word[2] == "mercury" || word[2] == "summer" || word[2] == "fire" || word[2] == "fireplace" || word[2] == "flame" || word[2] == "charcoal" ||  word[2] == "coal" || word[2] == "earth" || word[2] == "moon" || word[2] == "desert" || word[2] == "furnace" || word[2] == "heater" || word[2] == "grill" || word[2] == "oven" || word[2] == "iron" || word[2] == "toaster" || word[2] == "fever" || word[2] == "coffee" || word[2] == "pepper" || word[2] == "jalapeno" || word[2] == "tamale" || word[2] == "rain" || word[2] == "refrigerator" || word[2] == "freezer" || word[2] == "milkshake" || word[2] == "popsicle"  || word[2] == "sleet" || word[2] == "snow" || word[2] == "snowman" || word[2] == "snowflake" || word[2] == "ice" || word[2] == "iceberg" || word[2] == "icicle" || word[2] == "blizzard" || word[2] == "glacier" || word[2] == "antarctica" || word[2] == "greenland" || word[2] == "iceland" || word[2] == "winter" || word[2] == "neptune" || word[2] == "uranus" || word[2] == "pluto") && (word[3]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[5] == "sun" || word[5] == "venus" || word[5] == "mercury" || word[5] == "summer" || word[5] == "fire" || word[5] == "fireplace" || word[5] == "flame" || word[5] == "charcoal" ||  word[5] == "coal" || word[5] == "earth" || word[5] == "moon" || word[5] == "desert" || word[5] == "furnace" || word[5] == "heater" || word[5] == "grill" || word[5] == "oven" || word[5] == "iron" || word[5] == "toaster" || word[5] == "fever" || word[5] == "coffee" || word[5] == "pepper" || word[5] == "jalapeno" || word[5] == "tamale" || word[5] == "rain" || word[5] == "refrigerator" || word[5] == "freezer" || word[5] == "milkshake" || word[5] == "popsicle"  || word[5] == "sleet" || word[5] == "snow" || word[5] == "snowman" || word[5] == "snowflake" || word[5] == "ice" || word[5] == "iceberg" || word[5] == "icicle" || word[5] == "blizzard" || word[5] == "glacier" || word[5] == "antarctica" || word[5] == "greenland" || word[5] == "iceland" || word[5] == "winter" || word[5] == "neptune" || word[5] == "uranus" || word[5] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+compareHotter8()+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="a" || word[1]=="an" || word[1]=="the") && (word[2] == "sun" || word[2] == "venus" || word[2] == "mercury" || word[2] == "summer" || word[2] == "fire" || word[2] == "fireplace" || word[2] == "flame" || word[2] == "charcoal" ||  word[2] == "coal" || word[2] == "earth" || word[2] == "moon" || word[2] == "desert" || word[2] == "furnace" || word[2] == "heater" || word[2] == "grill" || word[2] == "oven" || word[2] == "iron" || word[2] == "toaster" || word[2] == "fever" || word[2] == "coffee" || word[2] == "pepper" || word[2] == "jalapeno" || word[2] == "tamale" || word[2] == "rain" || word[2] == "refrigerator" || word[2] == "freezer" || word[2] == "milkshake" || word[2] == "popsicle"  || word[2] == "sleet" || word[2] == "snow" || word[2] == "snowman" || word[2] == "snowflake" || word[2] == "ice" || word[2] == "iceberg" || word[2] == "icicle" || word[2] == "blizzard" || word[2] == "glacier" || word[2] == "antarctica" || word[2] == "greenland" || word[2] == "iceland" || word[2] == "winter" || word[2] == "neptune" || word[2] == "uranus" || word[2] == "pluto") && (word[3]=="colder" || word[3]=="cooler") && (word[4]=="or" || word[4]=="than") && (word[5]=="a" || word[5]=="an" || word[5]=="the") && (word[6] == "sun" || word[6] == "venus" || word[6] == "mercury" || word[6] == "summer" || word[6] == "fire" || word[6] == "fireplace" || word[6] == "flame" || word[6] == "charcoal" ||  word[6] == "coal" || word[6] == "earth" || word[6] == "moon" || word[6] == "desert" || word[6] == "furnace" || word[6] == "heater" || word[6] == "grill" || word[6] == "oven" || word[6] == "iron" || word[6] == "toaster" || word[6] == "fever" || word[6] == "coffee" || word[6] == "pepper" || word[6] == "jalapeno" || word[6] == "tamale" || word[6] == "rain" || word[6] == "refrigerator" || word[6] == "freezer" || word[6] == "milkshake" || word[6] == "popsicle"  || word[6] == "sleet" || word[6] == "snow" || word[6] == "snowman" || word[6] == "snowflake" || word[6] == "ice" || word[6] == "iceberg" || word[6] == "icicle" || word[6] == "blizzard" || word[6] == "glacier" || word[6] == "antarctica" || word[6] == "greenland" || word[6] == "iceland" || word[6] == "winter" || word[6] == "neptune" || word[6] == "uranus" || word[6] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+compareColder0()+" is "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="colder" || word[2]=="coldest" || word[2]=="cooler" || word[2]=="coolest") && (word[3] == "sun" || word[3] == "venus" || word[3] == "mercury" || word[3] == "summer" || word[3] == "fire" || word[3] == "fireplace" || word[3] == "flame" || word[3] == "charcoal" ||  word[3] == "coal" || word[3] == "earth" || word[3] == "moon" || word[3] == "desert" || word[3] == "furnace" || word[3] == "heater" || word[3] == "grill" || word[3] == "oven" || word[3] == "iron" || word[3] == "toaster" || word[3] == "fever" || word[3] == "coffee" || word[3] == "pepper" || word[3] == "jalapeno" || word[3] == "tamale" || word[3] == "rain" || word[3] == "refrigerator" || word[3] == "freezer" || word[3] == "milkshake" || word[3] == "popsicle"  || word[3] == "sleet" || word[3] == "snow" || word[3] == "snowman" || word[3] == "snowflake" || word[3] == "ice" || word[3] == "iceberg" || word[3] == "icicle" || word[3] == "blizzard" || word[3] == "glacier" || word[3] == "antarctica" || word[3] == "greenland" || word[3] == "iceland" || word[3] == "winter" || word[3] == "neptune" || word[3] == "uranus" || word[3] == "pluto") && (word[4]=="or") && (word[5] == "sun" || word[5] == "venus" || word[5] == "mercury" || word[5] == "summer" || word[5] == "fire" || word[5] == "fireplace" || word[5] == "flame" || word[5] == "charcoal" ||  word[5] == "coal" || word[5] == "earth" || word[5] == "moon" || word[5] == "desert" || word[5] == "furnace" || word[5] == "heater" || word[5] == "grill" || word[5] == "oven" || word[5] == "iron" || word[5] == "toaster" || word[5] == "fever" || word[5] == "coffee" || word[5] == "pepper" || word[5] == "jalapeno" || word[5] == "tamale" || word[5] == "rain" || word[5] == "refrigerator" || word[5] == "freezer" || word[5] == "milkshake" || word[5] == "popsicle"  || word[5] == "sleet" || word[5] == "snow" || word[5] == "snowman" || word[5] == "snowflake" || word[5] == "ice" || word[5] == "iceberg" || word[5] == "icicle" || word[5] == "blizzard" || word[5] == "glacier" || word[5] == "antarctica" || word[5] == "greenland" || word[5] == "iceland" || word[5] == "winter" || word[5] == "neptune" || word[5] == "uranus" || word[5] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+compareColder1()+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="colder" || word[2]=="coldest" || word[2]=="cooler" || word[2]=="coolest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[4] == "sun" || word[4] == "venus" || word[4] == "mercury" || word[4] == "summer" || word[4] == "fire" || word[4] == "fireplace" || word[4] == "flame" || word[4] == "charcoal" ||  word[4] == "coal" || word[4] == "earth" || word[4] == "moon" || word[4] == "desert" || word[4] == "furnace" || word[4] == "heater" || word[4] == "grill" || word[4] == "oven" || word[4] == "iron" || word[4] == "toaster" || word[4] == "fever" || word[4] == "coffee" || word[4] == "pepper" || word[4] == "jalapeno" || word[4] == "tamale" || word[4] == "rain" || word[4] == "refrigerator" || word[4] == "freezer" || word[4] == "milkshake" || word[4] == "popsicle"  || word[4] == "sleet" || word[4] == "snow" || word[4] == "snowman" || word[4] == "snowflake" || word[4] == "ice" || word[4] == "iceberg" || word[4] == "icicle" || word[4] == "blizzard" || word[4] == "glacier" || word[4] == "antarctica" || word[4] == "greenland" || word[4] == "iceland" || word[4] == "winter" || word[4] == "neptune" || word[4] == "uranus" || word[4] == "pluto") && (word[5]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[7] == "sun" || word[7] == "venus" || word[7] == "mercury" || word[7] == "summer" || word[7] == "fire" || word[7] == "fireplace" || word[7] == "flame" || word[7] == "charcoal" ||  word[7] == "coal" || word[7] == "earth" || word[7] == "moon" || word[7] == "desert" || word[7] == "furnace" || word[7] == "heater" || word[7] == "grill" || word[7] == "oven" || word[7] == "iron" || word[7] == "toaster" || word[7] == "fever" || word[7] == "coffee" || word[7] == "pepper" || word[7] == "jalapeno" || word[7] == "tamale" || word[7] == "rain" || word[7] == "refrigerator" || word[7] == "freezer" || word[7] == "milkshake" || word[7] == "popsicle"  || word[7] == "sleet" || word[7] == "snow" || word[7] == "snowman" || word[7] == "snowflake" || word[7] == "ice" || word[7] == "iceberg" || word[7] == "icicle" || word[7] == "blizzard" || word[7] == "glacier" || word[7] == "antarctica" || word[7] == "greenland" || word[7] == "iceland" || word[7] == "winter" || word[7] == "neptune" || word[7] == "uranus" || word[7] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==8))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[3]+" "+compareColder2()+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="colder" || word[2]=="coldest" || word[2]=="cooler" || word[2]=="coolest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[4] == "sun" || word[4] == "venus" || word[4] == "mercury" || word[4] == "summer" || word[4] == "fire" || word[4] == "fireplace" || word[4] == "flame" || word[4] == "charcoal" ||  word[4] == "coal" || word[4] == "earth" || word[4] == "moon" || word[4] == "desert" || word[4] == "furnace" || word[4] == "heater" || word[4] == "grill" || word[4] == "oven" || word[4] == "iron" || word[4] == "toaster" || word[4] == "fever" || word[4] == "coffee" || word[4] == "pepper" || word[4] == "jalapeno" || word[4] == "tamale"|| word[4] == "rain" || word[4] == "refrigerator" || word[4] == "freezer" || word[4] == "milkshake" || word[4] == "popsicle"  || word[4] == "sleet" || word[4] == "snow" || word[4] == "snowman" || word[4] == "snowflake" || word[4] == "ice" || word[4] == "iceberg" || word[4] == "icicle" || word[4] == "blizzard" || word[4] == "glacier" || word[4] == "antarctica" || word[4] == "greenland" || word[4] == "iceland" || word[4] == "winter" || word[4] == "neptune" || word[4] == "uranus" || word[4] == "pluto") && (word[5]=="or") && (word[6] == "sun" || word[6] == "venus" || word[6] == "mercury" || word[6] == "summer" || word[6] == "fire" || word[6] == "fireplace" || word[6] == "flame" || word[6] == "charcoal" ||  word[6] == "earth" || word[6] == "moon" || word[6] == "coal" || word[6] == "desert" || word[6] == "furnace" || word[6] == "heater" || word[6] == "grill" || word[6] == "oven" || word[6] == "iron" || word[6] == "toaster" || word[6] == "fever" || word[6] == "coffee" || word[6] == "pepper" || word[6] == "jalapeno" || word[6] == "tamale" || word[6] == "rain" || word[6] == "refrigerator" || word[6] == "freezer" || word[6] == "milkshake" || word[6] == "popsicle"  || word[6] == "sleet" || word[6] == "snow" || word[6] == "snowman" || word[6] == "snowflake" || word[6] == "ice" || word[6] == "iceberg" || word[6] == "icicle" || word[6] == "blizzard" || word[6] == "glacier" || word[6] == "antarctica" || word[6] == "greenland" || word[6] == "iceland" || word[6] == "winter" || word[6] == "neptune" || word[6] == "uranus" || word[6] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[3]+" "+compareColder3()+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="colder" || word[2]=="coldest" || word[2]=="cooler" || word[2]=="coolest") && (word[3] == "sun" || word[3] == "venus" || word[3] == "mercury" || word[3] == "summer" || word[3] == "fire" || word[3] == "fireplace" || word[3] == "flame" || word[3] == "charcoal" ||  word[3] == "coal" || word[3] == "earth" || word[3] == "moon" || word[3] == "desert" || word[3] == "furnace" || word[3] == "heater" || word[3] == "grill" || word[3] == "oven" || word[3] == "iron" || word[3] == "toaster" || word[3] == "fever" || word[3] == "coffee" || word[3] == "pepper" || word[3] == "jalapeno" || word[3] == "tamale" || word[3] == "rain" || word[3] == "refrigerator" || word[3] == "freezer" || word[3] == "milkshake" || word[3] == "popsicle"  || word[3] == "sleet" || word[3] == "snow" || word[3] == "snowman" || word[3] == "snowflake" || word[3] == "ice" || word[3] == "iceberg" || word[3] == "icicle" || word[3] == "blizzard" || word[3] == "glacier" || word[3] == "antarctica" || word[3] == "greenland" || word[3] == "iceland" || word[3] == "winter" || word[3] == "neptune" || word[3] == "uranus" || word[3] == "pluto") && (word[4]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[6] == "sun" || word[6] == "venus" || word[6] == "mercury" || word[6] == "summer" || word[6] == "fire" || word[6] == "fireplace" || word[6] == "flame" || word[6] == "charcoal" ||  word[6] == "earth" || word[6] == "moon" || word[6] == "coal" || word[6] == "desert" || word[6] == "furnace" || word[6] == "heater" || word[6] == "grill" || word[6] == "oven" || word[6] == "iron" || word[6] == "toaster" || word[6] == "fever" || word[6] == "coffee" || word[6] == "pepper" || word[6] == "jalapeno" || word[6] == "tamale" || word[6] == "rain" || word[6] == "refrigerator" || word[6] == "freezer" || word[6] == "milkshake" || word[6] == "popsicle"  || word[6] == "sleet" || word[6] == "snow" || word[6] == "snowman" || word[6] == "snowflake" || word[6] == "ice" || word[6] == "iceberg" || word[6] == "icicle" || word[6] == "blizzard" || word[6] == "glacier" || word[6] == "antarctica" || word[6] == "greenland" || word[6] == "iceland" || word[6] == "winter" || word[6] == "neptune" || word[6] == "uranus" || word[6] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+compareColder4()+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="colder" || word[1]=="coldest" || word[1]=="cooler" || word[1]=="coolest") && (word[2] == "sun" || word[2] == "venus" || word[2] == "mercury" || word[2] == "summer" || word[2] == "fire" || word[2] == "fireplace" || word[2] == "flame" || word[2] == "charcoal" ||  word[2] == "coal" || word[2] == "earth" || word[2] == "moon" || word[2] == "desert" || word[2] == "furnace" || word[2] == "heater" || word[2] == "grill" || word[2] == "oven" || word[2] == "iron" || word[2] == "toaster" || word[2] == "fever" || word[2] == "coffee" || word[2] == "pepper" || word[2] == "jalapeno" || word[2] == "tamale" || word[2] == "rain" || word[2] == "refrigerator" || word[2] == "freezer" || word[2] == "milkshake" || word[2] == "popsicle"  || word[2] == "sleet" || word[2] == "snow" || word[2] == "snowman" || word[2] == "snowflake" || word[2] == "ice" || word[2] == "iceberg" || word[2] == "icicle" || word[2] == "blizzard" || word[2] == "glacier" || word[2] == "antarctica" || word[2] == "greenland" || word[2] == "iceland" || word[2] == "winter" || word[2] == "neptune" || word[2] == "uranus" || word[2] == "pluto") && (word[3]=="or") && (word[4] == "sun" || word[4] == "venus" || word[4] == "mercury" || word[4] == "summer" || word[4] == "fire" || word[4] == "fireplace" || word[4] == "flame" || word[4] == "charcoal" ||  word[4] == "coal" || word[4] == "earth" || word[4] == "moon" || word[4] == "desert" || word[4] == "furnace" || word[4] == "heater" || word[4] == "grill" || word[4] == "oven" || word[4] == "iron" || word[4] == "toaster" || word[4] == "fever" || word[4] == "coffee" || word[4] == "pepper" || word[4] == "jalapeno" || word[4] == "tamale" || word[4] == "rain" || word[4] == "refrigerator" || word[4] == "freezer" || word[4] == "milkshake" || word[4] == "popsicle"  || word[4] == "sleet" || word[4] == "snow" || word[4] == "snowman" || word[4] == "snowflake" || word[4] == "ice" || word[4] == "iceberg" || word[4] == "icicle" || word[4] == "blizzard" || word[4] == "glacier" || word[4] == "antarctica" || word[4] == "greenland" || word[4] == "iceland" || word[4] == "winter" || word[4] == "neptune" || word[4] == "uranus" || word[4] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==5))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+compareColder5()+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="colder" || word[1]=="coldest" || word[1]=="cooler" || word[1]=="coolest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[3] == "sun" || word[3] == "venus" || word[3] == "mercury" || word[3] == "summer" || word[3] == "fire" || word[3] == "fireplace" || word[3] == "flame" || word[3] == "charcoal" ||  word[3] == "coal" || word[3] == "earth" || word[3] == "moon" || word[3] == "desert" || word[3] == "furnace" || word[3] == "heater" || word[3] == "grill" || word[3] == "oven" || word[3] == "iron" || word[3] == "toaster" || word[3] == "fever" || word[3] == "coffee" || word[3] == "pepper" || word[3] == "jalapeno" || word[3] == "tamale" || word[3] == "rain" || word[3] == "refrigerator" || word[3] == "freezer" || word[3] == "milkshake" || word[3] == "popsicle"  || word[3] == "sleet" || word[3] == "snow" || word[3] == "snowman" || word[3] == "snowflake" || word[3] == "ice" || word[3] == "iceberg" || word[3] == "icicle" || word[3] == "blizzard" || word[3] == "glacier" || word[3] == "antarctica" || word[3] == "greenland" || word[3] == "iceland" || word[3] == "winter" || word[3] == "neptune" || word[3] == "uranus" || word[3] == "pluto") && (word[4]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[6] == "sun" || word[6] == "venus" || word[6] == "mercury" || word[6] == "summer" || word[6] == "fire" || word[6] == "fireplace" || word[6] == "flame" || word[6] == "charcoal" ||  word[6] == "coal" || word[6] == "earth" || word[6] == "moon" || word[6] == "desert" || word[6] == "furnace" || word[6] == "heater" || word[6] == "grill" || word[6] == "oven" || word[6] == "iron" || word[6] == "toaster" || word[6] == "fever" || word[6] == "coffee" || word[6] == "pepper" || word[6] == "jalapeno" || word[6] == "tamale" || word[6] == "rain" || word[6] == "refrigerator" || word[6] == "freezer" || word[6] == "milkshake" || word[6] == "popsicle"  || word[6] == "sleet" || word[6] == "snow" || word[6] == "snowman" || word[6] == "snowflake" || word[6] == "ice" || word[6] == "iceberg" || word[6] == "icicle" || word[6] == "blizzard" || word[6] == "glacier" || word[6] == "antarctica" || word[6] == "greenland" || word[6] == "iceland" || word[6] == "winter" || word[6] == "neptune" || word[6] == "uranus" || word[6] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" "+compareColder6()+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="colder" || word[1]=="coldest" || word[1]=="cooler" || word[1]=="coolest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[3] == "sun" || word[3] == "venus" || word[3] == "mercury" || word[3] == "summer" || word[3] == "fire" || word[3] == "fireplace" || word[3] == "flame" || word[3] == "charcoal" ||  word[3] == "coal" || word[3] == "earth" || word[3] == "moon" || word[3] == "desert" || word[3] == "furnace" || word[3] == "heater" || word[3] == "grill" || word[3] == "oven" || word[3] == "iron" || word[3] == "toaster" || word[3] == "fever" || word[3] == "coffee" || word[3] == "pepper" || word[3] == "jalapeno" || word[3] == "tamale" || word[3] == "rain" || word[3] == "refrigerator" || word[3] == "freezer" || word[3] == "milkshake" || word[3] == "popsicle"  || word[3] == "sleet" || word[3] == "snow" || word[3] == "snowman" || word[3] == "snowflake" || word[3] == "ice" || word[3] == "iceberg" || word[3] == "icicle" || word[3] == "blizzard" || word[3] == "glacier" || word[3] == "antarctica" || word[3] == "greenland" || word[3] == "iceland" || word[3] == "winter" || word[3] == "neptune" || word[3] == "uranus" || word[3] == "pluto") && (word[4]=="or") && (word[5] == "sun" || word[5] == "venus" || word[5] == "mercury" || word[5] == "summer" || word[5] == "fire" || word[5] == "fireplace" || word[5] == "flame" || word[5] == "charcoal" ||  word[5] == "coal" || word[5] == "earth" || word[5] == "moon" || word[5] == "desert" || word[5] == "furnace" || word[5] == "heater" || word[5] == "grill" || word[5] == "oven" || word[5] == "iron" || word[5] == "toaster" || word[5] == "fever" || word[5] == "coffee" || word[5] == "pepper" || word[5] == "jalapeno" || word[5] == "tamale" || word[5] == "rain" || word[5] == "refrigerator" || word[5] == "freezer" || word[5] == "milkshake" || word[5] == "popsicle"  || word[5] == "sleet" || word[5] == "snow" || word[5] == "snowman" || word[5] == "snowflake" || word[5] == "ice" || word[5] == "iceberg" || word[5] == "icicle" || word[5] == "blizzard" || word[5] == "glacier" || word[5] == "antarctica" || word[5] == "greenland" || word[5] == "iceland" || word[5] == "winter" || word[5] == "neptune" || word[5] == "uranus" || word[5] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" "+compareColder7()+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="colder" || word[1]=="coldest" || word[1]=="cooler" || word[1]=="coolest") && (word[2] == "sun" || word[2] == "venus" || word[2] == "mercury" || word[2] == "summer" || word[2] == "fire" || word[2] == "fireplace" || word[2] == "flame" || word[2] == "charcoal" ||  word[2] == "coal" || word[2] == "earth" || word[2] == "moon" || word[2] == "desert" || word[2] == "furnace" || word[2] == "heater" || word[2] == "grill" || word[2] == "oven" || word[2] == "iron" || word[2] == "toaster" || word[2] == "fever" || word[2] == "coffee" || word[2] == "pepper" || word[2] == "jalapeno" || word[2] == "tamale" || word[2] == "rain" || word[2] == "refrigerator" || word[2] == "freezer" || word[2] == "milkshake" || word[2] == "popsicle"  || word[2] == "sleet" || word[2] == "snow" || word[2] == "snowman" || word[2] == "snowflake" || word[2] == "ice" || word[2] == "iceberg" || word[2] == "icicle" || word[2] == "blizzard" || word[2] == "glacier" || word[2] == "antarctica" || word[2] == "greenland" || word[2] == "iceland" || word[2] == "winter" || word[2] == "neptune" || word[2] == "uranus" || word[2] == "pluto") && (word[3]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[5] == "sun" || word[5] == "venus" || word[5] == "mercury" || word[5] == "summer" || word[5] == "fire" || word[5] == "fireplace" || word[5] == "flame" || word[5] == "charcoal" ||  word[5] == "coal" || word[5] == "earth" || word[5] == "moon" || word[5] == "desert" || word[5] == "furnace" || word[5] == "heater" || word[5] == "grill" || word[5] == "oven" || word[5] == "iron" || word[5] == "toaster" || word[5] == "fever" || word[5] == "coffee" || word[5] == "pepper" || word[5] == "jalapeno" || word[5] == "tamale" || word[5] == "rain" || word[5] == "refrigerator" || word[5] == "freezer" || word[5] == "milkshake" || word[5] == "popsicle"  || word[5] == "sleet" || word[5] == "snow" || word[5] == "snowman" || word[5] == "snowflake" || word[5] == "ice" || word[5] == "iceberg" || word[5] == "icicle" || word[5] == "blizzard" || word[5] == "glacier" || word[5] == "antarctica" || word[5] == "greenland" || word[5] == "iceland" || word[5] == "winter" || word[5] == "neptune" || word[5] == "uranus" || word[5] == "pluto") && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+compareColder8()+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="colder" || word[2]=="coldest" || word[2]=="cooler" || word[2]=="coolest") && (word[4]=="or") && (num_of_words==6))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[3]+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="colder" || word[2]=="coldest" || word[2]=="cooler" || word[2]=="coolest") && (word[5]=="or") && (num_of_words==7))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="colder" || word[2]=="coldest" || word[2]=="cooler" || word[2]=="coolest") && (word[4]=="or") && (num_of_words==7))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="colder" || word[2]=="coldest" || word[2]=="cooler" || word[2]=="coolest") && (word[5]=="or") && (num_of_words==8))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="colder" || word[1]=="coldest" || word[1]=="cooler" || word[1]=="coolest") && (word[3]=="or") && (num_of_words==5))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="colder" || word[1]=="coldest" || word[1]=="cooler" || word[1]=="coolest") && (word[4]=="or") && (num_of_words==6))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="colder" || word[1]=="coldest" || word[1]=="cooler" || word[1]=="coolest") && (word[3]=="or") && (num_of_words==6))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="colder" || word[1]=="coldest" || word[1]=="cooler" || word[1]=="coolest") && (word[4]=="or") && (num_of_words==7))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="hotter" || word[2]=="hottest" || word[2]=="warmer" || word[2]=="warmest") && (word[4]=="or") && (num_of_words==6))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[3]+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="hotter" || word[2]=="hottest" || word[2]=="warmer" || word[2]=="warmest") && (word[5]=="or") && (num_of_words==7))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="hotter" || word[2]=="hottest" || word[2]=="warmer" || word[2]=="warmest") && (word[4]=="or") && (num_of_words==7))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="hotter" || word[2]=="hottest" || word[2]=="warmer" || word[2]=="warmest") && (word[5]=="or") && (num_of_words==8))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="hotter" || word[1]=="hottest" || word[1]=="warmer" || word[1]=="warmest") && (word[3]=="or") && (num_of_words==5))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="hotter" || word[1]=="hottest" || word[1]=="warmer" || word[1]=="warmest") && (word[4]=="or") && (num_of_words==6))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="hotter" || word[1]=="hottest" || word[1]=="warmer" || word[1]=="warmest") && (word[3]=="or") && (num_of_words==6))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="hotter" || word[1]=="hottest" || word[1]=="warmer" || word[1]=="warmest") && (word[4]=="or") && (num_of_words==7))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("baseball")!= -1 || input.search("golf ball")!= -1 || input.search("golfball")!= -1 || input.search("football")!= -1 || input.search("tennis ball")!= -1 || input.search("soccer ball")!= -1 || input.search("softball")!= -1) && (input.search("basketball")!= -1 || input.search("golfball")!= -1 || input.search("golf ball")!= -1 || input.search("football")!= -1 || input.search("tennis ball")!= -1 || input.search("soccer ball")!= -1 || input.search("softball")!= -1) && (input.search("larger")!= -1 || input.search("bigger")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = sizebigger(); 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("baseball")!= -1 || input.search("golf ball")!= -1 || input.search("golfball")!= -1 || input.search("football")!= -1 || input.search("tennis ball")!= -1 || input.search("soccer ball")!= -1 || input.search("softball")!= -1) && (input.search("basketball")!= -1 || input.search("golfball")!= -1 || input.search("golf ball")!= -1 || input.search("football")!= -1 || input.search("tennis ball")!= -1 || input.search("soccer ball")!= -1 || input.search("softball")!= -1) && (input.search("smaller")!= -1 || input.search("littler")!= -1 || input.search("tinier")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = sizesmaller(); 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="bigger" || word[2]=="biggest" || word[2]=="heavier" || word[2]=="heaviest" || word[2]=="larger" || word[2]=="largest" || word[2]=="fatter" || word[2]=="fattest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[4] == "universe" || word[4] == "space" || word[4] == "galaxy" || word[4] == "milky way" || word[4] == "sun" || word[4] == "star" || word[4] == "jupiter" || word[4] == "saturn" ||  word[4] == "earth" || word[4] == "moon" || word[4] == "pluto" || word[4] == "ocean" || word[4] == "sea" || word[4] == "continent" || word[4] == "asia" || word[4] == "europe" || word[4] == "africa" || word[4] == "country" || word[4] == "united states" || word[4] == "usa" || word[4] == "state" || word[4] == "england" || word[4] == "united kingdom" || word[4] == "uk" || word[4] == "city"  || word[4] == "mountain" || word[4] == "lake" || word[4] == "pond" || word[4] == "hill" || word[4] == "boulder" || word[4] == "mansion" || word[4] == "whale" || word[4] == "jet" || word[4] == "plane" || word[4] == "train" || word[4] == "house" || word[4] == "tank" || word[4] == "elephant" || word[4] == "hippopotamus" || word[4] == "hippo" || word[4] == "rhinoceros" || word[4] == "rhino" || word[4] == "bus" || word[4] == "car" || word[4] == "truck" || word[4] == "lion" || word[4] == "tiger" || word[4] == "giant" || word[4] == "adult" || word[4] == "man" || word[4] == "woman" || word[4] == "midget" || word[4] == "child" || word[4] == "boy" || word[4] == "girl" || word[4] == "kid" || word[4] == "horse" || word[4] == "zebra" || word[4] == "anteater" || word[4] == "dog" || word[4] == "cat" || word[4] == "stone" || word[4] == "brick" || word[4] == "rock" || word[4] == "baby" || word[4] == "leg" || word[4] == "arm" || word[4] == "foot" || word[4] == "hand" || word[4] == "chicken" || word[4] == "bird" || word[4] == "puppy" || word[4] == "kitten" || word[4] == "fish" || word[4] == "frog" || word[4] == "mouse" || word[4] == "rat" || word[4] == "finger" || word[4] == "toe" || word[4] == "minnow" || word[4] == "tadpole" || word[4] == "pebble" || word[4] == "puddle" || word[4] == "book" || word[4] == "paper" || word[4] == "watermelon" || word[4] == "grapefruit" || word[4] == "baseball" || word[4] == "apple" || word[4] == "orange" || word[4] == "egg" || word[4] == "marble" || word[4] == "plum" || word[4] == "cherry" || word[4] == "grape" || word[4] == "pea" || word[4] == "beatle" || word[4] == "bug" || word[4] == "bee" || word[4] == "ant" || word[4] == "fly" || word[4] == "flea" || word[4] == "feather" || word[4] == "germ" || word[4] == "germs" || word[4] == "air" || word[4] == "atom" || word[4] == "electron") && (word[5]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[7] == "universe" || word[7] == "space" || word[7] == "galaxy" || word[7] == "milky way" || word[7] == "sun" || word[7] == "star" || word[7] == "jupiter" || word[7] == "saturn" ||  word[7] == "earth" || word[7] == "moon" || word[7] == "pluto" || word[7] == "ocean" || word[7] == "sea" || word[7] == "continent" || word[7] == "asia" || word[7] == "europe" || word[7] == "africa" || word[7] == "country" || word[7] == "united states" || word[7] == "usa" || word[7] == "state" || word[7] == "england" || word[7] == "united kingdom" || word[7] == "uk" || word[7] == "city"  || word[7] == "mountain" || word[7] == "lake" || word[7] == "pond" || word[7] == "hill" || word[7] == "boulder" || word[7] == "mansion" || word[7] == "whale" || word[7] == "jet" || word[7] == "plane" || word[7] == "train" || word[7] == "house" || word[7] == "tank" || word[7] == "elephant" || word[7] == "hippopotamus" || word[7] == "hippo" || word[7] == "rhinoceros" || word[7] == "rhino" || word[7] == "bus" || word[7] == "car" || word[7] == "truck" || word[7] == "lion" || word[7] == "tiger" || word[7] == "giant" || word[7] == "adult" || word[7] == "man" || word[7] == "woman" || word[7] == "midget" || word[7] == "child" || word[7] == "boy" || word[7] == "girl" || word[7] == "kid" || word[7] == "horse" || word[7] == "zebra" || word[7] == "anteater" || word[7] == "dog" || word[7] == "cat" || word[7] == "stone" || word[7] == "brick" || word[7] == "rock" || word[7] == "baby" || word[7] == "leg" || word[7] == "arm" || word[7] == "foot" || word[7] == "hand" || word[7] == "chicken" || word[7] == "bird" || word[7] == "puppy" || word[7] == "kitten" || word[7] == "fish" || word[7] == "frog" || word[7] == "mouse" || word[7] == "rat" || word[7] == "finger" || word[7] == "toe" || word[7] == "minnow" || word[7] == "tadpole" || word[7] == "pebble" || word[7] == "puddle" || word[7] == "book" || word[7] == "paper" || word[7] == "watermelon" || word[7] == "grapefruit" || word[7] == "baseball" || word[7] == "apple" || word[7] == "orange" || word[7] == "egg" || word[7] == "marble" || word[7] == "plum" || word[7] == "cherry" || word[7] == "grape" || word[7] == "pea" || word[7] == "beatle" || word[7] == "bug" || word[7] == "bee" || word[7] == "ant" || word[7] == "fly" || word[7] == "flea" || word[7] == "feather" || word[7] == "germ" || word[7] == "germs" || word[7] == "air" || word[7] == "atom" || word[7] == "electron") && (num_of_words==8))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+compareBigger1()+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="bigger" || word[1]=="biggest" || word[1]=="heavier" || word[1]=="heaviest" || word[1]=="larger" || word[1]=="largest" || word[1]=="fatter" || word[1]=="fattest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[3] == "universe" || word[3] == "space" || word[3] == "galaxy" || word[3] == "milky way" || word[3] == "sun" || word[3] == "star" || word[3] == "jupiter" || word[3] == "saturn" ||  word[3] == "earth" || word[3] == "moon" || word[3] == "pluto" || word[3] == "ocean" || word[3] == "sea" || word[3] == "continent" || word[3] == "asia" || word[3] == "europe" || word[3] == "africa" || word[3] == "country" || word[3] == "united states" || word[3] == "usa" || word[3] == "state" || word[3] == "england" || word[3] == "united kingdom" || word[3] == "uk" || word[3] == "city"  || word[3] == "mountain" || word[3] == "lake" || word[3] == "pond" || word[3] == "hill" || word[3] == "boulder" || word[3] == "mansion" || word[3] == "whale" || word[3] == "jet" || word[3] == "plane" || word[3] == "train" || word[3] == "house" || word[3] == "tank" || word[3] == "elephant" || word[3] == "hippopotamus" || word[3] == "hippo" || word[3] == "rhinoceros" || word[3] == "rhino" || word[3] == "bus" || word[3] == "car" || word[3] == "truck" || word[3] == "lion" || word[3] == "tiger" || word[3] == "giant" || word[3] == "adult" || word[3] == "man" || word[3] == "woman" || word[3] == "midget" || word[3] == "child" || word[3] == "boy" || word[3] == "girl" || word[3] == "kid" || word[3] == "horse" || word[3] == "zebra" || word[3] == "anteater" || word[3] == "dog" || word[3] == "cat" || word[3] == "stone" || word[3] == "brick" || word[3] == "rock" || word[3] == "baby" || word[3] == "leg" || word[3] == "arm" || word[3] == "foot" || word[3] == "hand" || word[3] == "chicken" || word[3] == "bird" || word[3] == "puppy" || word[3] == "kitten" || word[3] == "fish" || word[3] == "frog" || word[3] == "mouse" || word[3] == "rat" || word[3] == "finger" || word[3] == "toe" || word[3] == "minnow" || word[3] == "tadpole" || word[3] == "pebble" || word[3] == "puddle" || word[3] == "book" || word[3] == "paper" || word[3] == "watermelon" || word[3] == "grapefruit" || word[3] == "baseball" || word[3] == "apple" || word[3] == "orange" || word[3] == "egg" || word[3] == "marble" || word[3] == "plum" || word[3] == "cherry" || word[3] == "grape" || word[3] == "pea" || word[3] == "beatle" || word[3] == "bug" || word[3] == "bee" || word[3] == "ant" || word[3] == "fly" || word[3] == "flea" || word[3] == "feather" || word[3] == "germ" || word[3] == "germs" || word[3] == "air" || word[3] == "atom" || word[3] == "electron") && (word[4]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[6] == "universe" || word[6] == "space" || word[6] == "galaxy" || word[6] == "milky way" || word[6] == "sun" || word[6] == "star" || word[6] == "jupiter" || word[6] == "saturn" ||  word[6] == "earth" || word[6] == "moon" || word[6] == "pluto" || word[6] == "ocean" || word[6] == "sea" || word[6] == "continent" || word[6] == "asia" || word[6] == "europe" || word[6] == "africa" || word[6] == "country" || word[6] == "united states" || word[6] == "usa" || word[6] == "state" || word[6] == "england" || word[6] == "united kingdom" || word[6] == "uk" || word[6] == "city"  || word[6] == "mountain" || word[6] == "lake" || word[6] == "pond" || word[6] == "hill" || word[6] == "boulder" || word[6] == "mansion" || word[6] == "whale" || word[6] == "jet" || word[6] == "plane" || word[6] == "train" || word[6] == "house" || word[6] == "tank" || word[6] == "elephant" || word[6] == "hippopotamus" || word[6] == "hippo" || word[6] == "rhinoceros" || word[6] == "rhino" || word[6] == "bus" || word[6] == "car" || word[6] == "truck" || word[6] == "lion" || word[6] == "tiger" || word[6] == "giant" || word[6] == "adult" || word[6] == "man" || word[6] == "woman" || word[6] == "midget" || word[6] == "child" || word[6] == "boy" || word[6] == "girl" || word[6] == "kid" || word[6] == "horse" || word[6] == "zebra" || word[6] == "anteater" || word[6] == "dog" || word[6] == "cat" || word[6] == "stone" || word[6] == "brick" || word[6] == "rock" || word[6] == "baby" || word[6] == "leg" || word[6] == "arm" || word[6] == "foot" || word[6] == "hand" || word[6] == "chicken" || word[6] == "bird" || word[6] == "puppy" || word[6] == "kitten" || word[6] == "fish" || word[6] == "frog" || word[6] == "mouse" || word[6] == "rat" || word[6] == "finger" || word[6] == "toe" || word[6] == "minnow" || word[6] == "tadpole" || word[6] == "pebble" || word[6] == "puddle" || word[6] == "book" || word[6] == "paper" || word[6] == "watermelon" || word[6] == "grapefruit" || word[6] == "baseball" || word[6] == "apple" || word[6] == "orange" || word[6] == "egg" || word[6] == "marble" || word[6] == "plum" || word[6] == "cherry" || word[6] == "grape" || word[6] == "pea" || word[6] == "beatle" || word[6] == "bug" || word[6] == "bee" || word[6] == "ant" || word[6] == "fly" || word[6] == "flea" || word[6] == "feather" || word[6] == "germ" || word[6] == "germs" || word[6] == "air" || word[6] == "atom" || word[6] == "electron") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+compareBigger2()+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="smaller" || word[2]=="smallest" || word[2]=="lighter" || word[2]=="smallest" || word[2]=="littler" || word[2]=="littlest" || word[2]=="thinner" || word[2]=="thinnest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[4] == "universe" || word[4] == "space" || word[4] == "galaxy" || word[4] == "milky way" || word[4] == "sun" || word[4] == "star" || word[4] == "jupiter" || word[4] == "saturn" ||  word[4] == "earth" || word[4] == "moon" || word[4] == "pluto" || word[4] == "ocean" || word[4] == "sea" || word[4] == "continent" || word[4] == "asia" || word[4] == "europe" || word[4] == "africa" || word[4] == "country" || word[4] == "united states" || word[4] == "usa" || word[4] == "state" || word[4] == "england" || word[4] == "united kingdom" || word[4] == "uk" || word[4] == "city"  || word[4] == "mountain" || word[4] == "lake" || word[4] == "pond" || word[4] == "hill" || word[4] == "boulder" || word[4] == "mansion" || word[4] == "whale" || word[4] == "jet" || word[4] == "plane" || word[4] == "train" || word[4] == "house" || word[4] == "tank" || word[4] == "elephant" || word[4] == "hippopotamus" || word[4] == "hippo" || word[4] == "rhinoceros" || word[4] == "rhino" || word[4] == "bus" || word[4] == "car" || word[4] == "truck" || word[4] == "lion" || word[4] == "tiger" || word[4] == "giant" || word[4] == "adult" || word[4] == "man" || word[4] == "woman" || word[4] == "midget" || word[4] == "child" || word[4] == "boy" || word[4] == "girl" || word[4] == "kid" || word[4] == "horse" || word[4] == "zebra" || word[4] == "anteater" || word[4] == "dog" || word[4] == "cat" || word[4] == "stone" || word[4] == "brick" || word[4] == "rock" || word[4] == "baby" || word[4] == "leg" || word[4] == "arm" || word[4] == "foot" || word[4] == "hand" || word[4] == "chicken" || word[4] == "bird" || word[4] == "puppy" || word[4] == "kitten" || word[4] == "fish" || word[4] == "frog" || word[4] == "mouse" || word[4] == "rat" || word[4] == "finger" || word[4] == "toe" || word[4] == "minnow" || word[4] == "tadpole" || word[4] == "pebble" || word[4] == "puddle" || word[4] == "book" || word[4] == "paper" || word[4] == "watermelon" || word[4] == "grapefruit" || word[4] == "baseball" || word[4] == "apple" || word[4] == "orange" || word[4] == "egg" || word[4] == "marble" || word[4] == "plum" || word[4] == "cherry" || word[4] == "grape" || word[4] == "pea" || word[4] == "beatle" || word[4] == "bug" || word[4] == "bee" || word[4] == "ant" || word[4] == "fly" || word[4] == "flea" || word[4] == "feather" || word[4] == "germ" || word[4] == "germs" || word[4] == "air" || word[4] == "atom" || word[4] == "electron") && (word[5]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[7] == "universe" || word[7] == "space" || word[7] == "galaxy" || word[7] == "milky way" || word[7] == "sun" || word[7] == "star" || word[7] == "jupiter" || word[7] == "saturn" ||  word[7] == "earth" || word[7] == "moon" || word[7] == "pluto" || word[7] == "ocean" || word[7] == "sea" || word[7] == "continent" || word[7] == "asia" || word[7] == "europe" || word[7] == "africa" || word[7] == "country" || word[7] == "united states" || word[7] == "usa" || word[7] == "state" || word[7] == "england" || word[7] == "united kingdom" || word[7] == "uk" || word[7] == "city"  || word[7] == "mountain" || word[7] == "lake" || word[7] == "pond" || word[7] == "hill" || word[7] == "boulder" || word[7] == "mansion" || word[7] == "whale" || word[7] == "jet" || word[7] == "plane" || word[7] == "train" || word[7] == "house" || word[7] == "tank" || word[7] == "elephant" || word[7] == "hippopotamus" || word[7] == "hippo" || word[7] == "rhinoceros" || word[7] == "rhino" || word[7] == "bus" || word[7] == "car" || word[7] == "truck" || word[7] == "lion" || word[7] == "tiger" || word[7] == "giant" || word[7] == "adult" || word[7] == "man" || word[7] == "woman" || word[7] == "midget" || word[7] == "child" || word[7] == "boy" || word[7] == "girl" || word[7] == "kid" || word[7] == "horse" || word[7] == "zebra" || word[7] == "anteater" || word[7] == "dog" || word[7] == "cat" || word[7] == "stone" || word[7] == "brick" || word[7] == "rock" || word[7] == "baby" || word[7] == "leg" || word[7] == "arm" || word[7] == "foot" || word[7] == "hand" || word[7] == "chicken" || word[7] == "bird" || word[7] == "puppy" || word[7] == "kitten" || word[7] == "fish" || word[7] == "frog" || word[7] == "mouse" || word[7] == "rat" || word[7] == "finger" || word[7] == "toe" || word[7] == "minnow" || word[7] == "tadpole" || word[7] == "pebble" || word[7] == "puddle" || word[7] == "book" || word[7] == "paper" || word[7] == "watermelon" || word[7] == "grapefruit" || word[7] == "baseball" || word[7] == "apple" || word[7] == "orange" || word[7] == "egg" || word[7] == "marble" || word[7] == "plum" || word[7] == "cherry" || word[7] == "grape" || word[7] == "pea" || word[7] == "beatle" || word[7] == "bug" || word[7] == "bee" || word[7] == "ant" || word[7] == "fly" || word[7] == "flea" || word[7] == "feather" || word[7] == "germ" || word[7] == "germs" || word[7] == "air" || word[7] == "atom" || word[7] == "electron") && (num_of_words==8))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+compareSmaller1()+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="smaller" || word[1]=="smaller" || word[1]=="lighter" || word[1]=="lightest" || word[1]=="littler" || word[1]=="littlest" || word[1]=="thinner" || word[1]=="thinnest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[3] == "universe" || word[3] == "space" || word[3] == "galaxy" || word[3] == "milky way" || word[3] == "sun" || word[3] == "star" || word[3] == "jupiter" || word[3] == "saturn" ||  word[3] == "earth" || word[3] == "moon" || word[3] == "pluto" || word[3] == "ocean" || word[3] == "sea" || word[3] == "continent" || word[3] == "asia" || word[3] == "europe" || word[3] == "africa" || word[3] == "country" || word[3] == "united states" || word[3] == "usa" || word[3] == "state" || word[3] == "england" || word[3] == "united kingdom" || word[3] == "uk" || word[3] == "city"  || word[3] == "mountain" || word[3] == "lake" || word[3] == "pond" || word[3] == "hill" || word[3] == "boulder" || word[3] == "mansion" || word[3] == "whale" || word[3] == "jet" || word[3] == "plane" || word[3] == "train" || word[3] == "house" || word[3] == "tank" || word[3] == "elephant" || word[3] == "hippopotamus" || word[3] == "hippo" || word[3] == "rhinoceros" || word[3] == "rhino" || word[3] == "bus" || word[3] == "car" || word[3] == "truck" || word[3] == "lion" || word[3] == "tiger" || word[3] == "giant" || word[3] == "adult" || word[3] == "man" || word[3] == "woman" || word[3] == "midget" || word[3] == "child" || word[3] == "boy" || word[3] == "girl" || word[3] == "kid" || word[3] == "horse" || word[3] == "zebra" || word[3] == "anteater" || word[3] == "dog" || word[3] == "cat" || word[3] == "stone" || word[3] == "brick" || word[3] == "rock" || word[3] == "baby" || word[3] == "leg" || word[3] == "arm" || word[3] == "foot" || word[3] == "hand" || word[3] == "chicken" || word[3] == "bird" || word[3] == "puppy" || word[3] == "kitten" || word[3] == "fish" || word[3] == "frog" || word[3] == "mouse" || word[3] == "rat" || word[3] == "finger" || word[3] == "toe" || word[3] == "minnow" || word[3] == "tadpole" || word[3] == "pebble" || word[3] == "puddle" || word[3] == "book" || word[3] == "paper" || word[3] == "watermelon" || word[3] == "grapefruit" || word[3] == "baseball" || word[3] == "apple" || word[3] == "orange" || word[3] == "egg" || word[3] == "marble" || word[3] == "plum" || word[3] == "cherry" || word[3] == "grape" || word[3] == "pea" || word[3] == "beatle" || word[3] == "bug" || word[3] == "bee" || word[3] == "ant" || word[3] == "fly" || word[3] == "flea" || word[3] == "feather" || word[3] == "germ" || word[3] == "germs" || word[3] == "air" || word[3] == "atom" || word[3] == "electron") && (word[4]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (word[6] == "universe" || word[6] == "space" || word[6] == "galaxy" || word[6] == "milky way" || word[6] == "sun" || word[6] == "star" || word[6] == "jupiter" || word[6] == "saturn" ||  word[6] == "earth" || word[6] == "moon" || word[6] == "pluto" || word[6] == "ocean" || word[6] == "sea" || word[6] == "continent" || word[6] == "asia" || word[6] == "europe" || word[6] == "africa" || word[6] == "country" || word[6] == "united states" || word[6] == "usa" || word[6] == "state" || word[6] == "england" || word[6] == "united kingdom" || word[6] == "uk" || word[6] == "city"  || word[6] == "mountain" || word[6] == "lake" || word[6] == "pond" || word[6] == "hill" || word[6] == "boulder" || word[6] == "mansion" || word[6] == "whale" || word[6] == "jet" || word[6] == "plane" || word[6] == "train" || word[6] == "house" || word[6] == "tank" || word[6] == "elephant" || word[6] == "hippopotamus" || word[6] == "hippo" || word[6] == "rhinoceros" || word[6] == "rhino" || word[6] == "bus" || word[6] == "car" || word[6] == "truck" || word[6] == "lion" || word[6] == "tiger" || word[6] == "giant" || word[6] == "adult" || word[6] == "man" || word[6] == "woman" || word[6] == "midget" || word[6] == "child" || word[6] == "boy" || word[6] == "girl" || word[6] == "kid" || word[6] == "horse" || word[6] == "zebra" || word[6] == "anteater" || word[6] == "dog" || word[6] == "cat" || word[6] == "stone" || word[6] == "brick" || word[6] == "rock" || word[6] == "baby" || word[6] == "leg" || word[6] == "arm" || word[6] == "foot" || word[6] == "hand" || word[6] == "chicken" || word[6] == "bird" || word[6] == "puppy" || word[6] == "kitten" || word[6] == "fish" || word[6] == "frog" || word[6] == "mouse" || word[6] == "rat" || word[6] == "finger" || word[6] == "toe" || word[6] == "minnow" || word[6] == "tadpole" || word[6] == "pebble" || word[6] == "puddle" || word[6] == "book" || word[6] == "paper" || word[6] == "watermelon" || word[6] == "grapefruit" || word[6] == "baseball" || word[6] == "apple" || word[6] == "orange" || word[6] == "egg" || word[6] == "marble" || word[6] == "plum" || word[6] == "cherry" || word[6] == "grape" || word[6] == "pea" || word[6] == "beatle" || word[6] == "bug" || word[6] == "bee" || word[6] == "ant" || word[6] == "fly" || word[6] == "flea" || word[6] == "feather" || word[6] == "germ" || word[6] == "germs" || word[6] == "air" || word[6] == "atom" || word[6] == "electron") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = ""+compareSmaller2()+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="faster" || word[2]=="fastest" || word[2]=="quicker" || word[2]=="quickest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmy\b/)!= -1) && (word[4] == "lightning" || word[4] == "rocket" || word[4] == "jet" || word[4] == "plane" || word[4] == "airplane" || word[4] == "car" || word[4] == "auto" || word[4] == "automobile" || word[4] == "truck" || word[4] == "train" || word[4] == "motocycle" || word[4] == "boat" || word[4] == "motoboat" || word[4] == "speedboat" || word[4] == "ship" || word[4] == "falcon" || word[4] == "tractor" || word[4] == "bike" || word[4] == "bicycle" || word[4] == "cheetah" || word[4] == "antelope" || word[4] == "gazelle" || word[4] == "tiger" || word[4] == "horse" || word[4] == "zebra" || word[4] == "greyhound" || word[4] == "rabbit" || word[4] == "hare" || word[4] == "dog" || word[4] == "deer" || word[4] == "bear" || word[4] == "cat" || word[4] == "lion" || word[4] == "elephant" || word[4] == "man" || word[4] == "person" || word[4] == "woman" || word[4] == "lady" || word[4] == "child" || word[4] == "kid" || word[4] == "grandma" || word[4] == "grandmom" || word[4] == "grandmother" || word[4] == "tricycle" || word[4] == "snake" || word[4] == "squirrel" || word[4] == "pig" || word[4] == "chicken" || word[4] == "mouse" || word[4] == "rat" || word[4] == "turtle" || word[4] == "tortoise" || word[4] == "sloth" || word[4] == "snail" || word[4] == "slug") && (word[5]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmy\b/)!= -1) && (word[7] == "lightning" || word[7] == "rocket" || word[7] == "jet" || word[7] == "plane" || word[7] == "airplane" || word[7] == "car" || word[7] == "auto" || word[7] == "automobile" || word[7] == "truck" || word[7] == "train" || word[7] == "motocycle" || word[7] == "boat" || word[7] == "motoboat" || word[7] == "speedboat" || word[7] == "ship" || word[7] == "falcon" || word[7] == "tractor" || word[7] == "bike" || word[7] == "bicycle" || word[7] == "cheetah" || word[7] == "antelope" || word[7] == "gazelle" || word[7] == "tiger" || word[7] == "horse" || word[7] == "zebra" || word[7] == "greyhound" || word[7] == "rabbit" || word[7] == "hare" || word[7] == "dog" || word[7] == "deer" || word[7] == "bear" || word[7] == "cat" || word[7] == "lion" || word[7] == "elephant" || word[7] == "man" || word[7] == "person" || word[7] == "woman" || word[7] == "lady" || word[7] == "child" || word[7] == "kid" || word[7] == "grandma" || word[7] == "grandmom" || word[7] == "grandmother" || word[7] == "tricycle" || word[7] == "snake" || word[7] == "squirrel" || word[7] == "pig" || word[7] == "chicken" || word[7] == "mouse" || word[7] == "rat" || word[7] == "turtle" || word[7] == "tortoise" || word[7] == "sloth" || word[7] == "snail" || word[7] == "slug") && (num_of_words==8))      
{document.result.result.value = "The "+compareFaster1()+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="faster" || word[1]=="fastest" || word[1]=="quicker" || word[1]=="quickest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmy\b/)!= -1) && (word[3] == "lightning" || word[3] == "rocket" || word[3] == "jet" || word[3] == "plane" || word[3] == "airplane" || word[3] == "car" || word[3] == "auto" || word[3] == "automobile" || word[3] == "truck" || word[3] == "train" || word[3] == "motocycle" || word[3] == "boat" || word[3] == "motoboat" || word[3] == "speedboat" || word[3] == "ship" || word[3] == "falcon" || word[3] == "tractor" || word[3] == "bike" || word[3] == "bicycle" || word[3] == "cheetah" || word[3] == "antelope" || word[3] == "gazelle" || word[3] == "tiger" || word[3] == "horse" || word[3] == "zebra" || word[3] == "greyhound" || word[3] == "rabbit" || word[3] == "hare" || word[3] == "dog" || word[3] == "deer" || word[3] == "bear" || word[3] == "cat" || word[3] == "lion" || word[3] == "elephant" || word[3] == "man" || word[3] == "person" || word[3] == "woman" || word[3] == "lady" || word[3] == "child" || word[3] == "kid" || word[3] == "grandma" || word[3] == "grandmom" || word[3] == "grandmother" || word[3] == "tricycle" || word[3] == "snake" || word[3] == "squirrel" || word[3] == "pig" || word[3] == "chicken" || word[3] == "mouse" || word[3] == "rat" || word[3] == "turtle" || word[3] == "tortoise" || word[3] == "sloth" || word[3] == "snail" || word[3] == "slug") && (word[4]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmy\b/)!= -1) && (word[6] == "lightning" || word[6] == "rocket" || word[6] == "jet" || word[6] == "plane" || word[6] == "airplane" || word[6] == "car" || word[6] == "auto" || word[6] == "automobile" || word[6] == "truck" || word[6] == "train" || word[6] == "motocycle" || word[6] == "boat" || word[6] == "motoboat" || word[6] == "speedboat" || word[6] == "ship" || word[6] == "falcon" || word[6] == "tractor" || word[6] == "bike" || word[6] == "bicycle" || word[6] == "cheetah" || word[6] == "antelope" || word[6] == "gazelle" || word[6] == "tiger" || word[6] == "horse" || word[6] == "zebra" || word[6] == "greyhound" || word[6] == "rabbit" || word[6] == "hare" || word[6] == "dog" || word[6] == "deer" || word[6] == "bear" || word[6] == "cat" || word[6] == "lion" || word[6] == "elephant" || word[6] == "man" || word[6] == "person" || word[6] == "woman" || word[6] == "lady" || word[6] == "child" || word[6] == "kid" || word[6] == "grandma" || word[6] == "grandmom" || word[6] == "grandmother" || word[6] == "tricycle" || word[6] == "snake" || word[6] == "squirrel" || word[6] == "pig" || word[6] == "chicken" || word[6] == "mouse" || word[6] == "rat" || word[6] == "turtle" || word[6] == "tortoise" || word[6] == "sloth" || word[6] == "snail" || word[6] == "slug") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = "The "+compareFaster2()+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="slower" || word[2]=="slowest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmy\b/)!= -1) && (word[4] == "lightning" || word[4] == "rocket" || word[4] == "jet" || word[4] == "plane" || word[4] == "airplane" || word[4] == "car" || word[4] == "auto" || word[4] == "automobile" || word[4] == "truck" || word[4] == "train" || word[4] == "motocycle" || word[4] == "boat" || word[4] == "motoboat" || word[4] == "speedboat" || word[4] == "ship" || word[4] == "falcon" || word[4] == "tractor" || word[4] == "bike" || word[4] == "bicycle" || word[4] == "cheetah" || word[4] == "antelope" || word[4] == "gazelle" || word[4] == "tiger" || word[4] == "horse" || word[4] == "zebra" || word[4] == "greyhound" || word[4] == "rabbit" || word[4] == "hare" || word[4] == "dog" || word[4] == "deer" || word[4] == "bear" || word[4] == "cat" || word[4] == "lion" || word[4] == "elephant" || word[4] == "man" || word[4] == "person" || word[4] == "woman" || word[4] == "lady" || word[4] == "child" || word[4] == "kid" || word[4] == "grandma" || word[4] == "grandmom" || word[4] == "grandmother" || word[4] == "tricycle" || word[4] == "snake" || word[4] == "squirrel" || word[4] == "pig" || word[4] == "chicken" || word[4] == "mouse" || word[4] == "rat" || word[4] == "turtle" || word[4] == "tortoise" || word[4] == "sloth" || word[4] == "snail" || word[4] == "slug") && (word[5]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmy\b/)!= -1) && (word[7] == "lightning" || word[7] == "rocket" || word[7] == "jet" || word[7] == "plane" || word[7] == "airplane" || word[7] == "car" || word[7] == "auto" || word[7] == "automobile" || word[7] == "truck" || word[7] == "train" || word[7] == "motocycle" || word[7] == "boat" || word[7] == "motoboat" || word[7] == "speedboat" || word[7] == "ship" || word[7] == "falcon" || word[7] == "tractor" || word[7] == "bike" || word[7] == "bicycle" || word[7] == "cheetah" || word[7] == "antelope" || word[7] == "gazelle" || word[7] == "tiger" || word[7] == "horse" || word[7] == "zebra" || word[7] == "greyhound" || word[7] == "rabbit" || word[7] == "hare" || word[7] == "dog" || word[7] == "deer" || word[7] == "bear" || word[7] == "cat" || word[7] == "lion" || word[7] == "elephant" || word[7] == "man" || word[7] == "person" || word[7] == "woman" || word[7] == "lady" || word[7] == "child" || word[7] == "kid" || word[7] == "grandma" || word[7] == "grandmom" || word[7] == "grandmother" || word[7] == "tricycle" || word[7] == "snake" || word[7] == "squirrel" || word[7] == "pig" || word[7] == "chicken" || word[7] == "mouse" || word[7] == "rat" || word[7] == "turtle" || word[7] == "tortoise" || word[7] == "sloth" || word[7] == "snail" || word[7] == "slug") && (num_of_words==8))      
{document.result.result.value = "The "+compareSlower1()+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="slower" || word[1]=="slowest") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmy\b/)!= -1) && (word[3] == "lightning" || word[3] == "rocket" || word[3] == "jet" || word[3] == "plane" || word[3] == "airplane" || word[3] == "car" || word[3] == "auto" || word[3] == "automobile" || word[3] == "truck" || word[3] == "train" || word[3] == "motocycle" || word[3] == "boat" || word[3] == "motoboat" || word[3] == "speedboat" || word[3] == "ship" || word[3] == "falcon" || word[3] == "tractor" || word[3] == "bike" || word[3] == "bicycle" || word[3] == "cheetah" || word[3] == "antelope" || word[3] == "gazelle" || word[3] == "tiger" || word[3] == "horse" || word[3] == "zebra" || word[3] == "greyhound" || word[3] == "rabbit" || word[3] == "hare" || word[3] == "dog" || word[3] == "deer" || word[3] == "bear" || word[3] == "cat" || word[3] == "lion" || word[3] == "elephant" || word[3] == "man" || word[3] == "person" || word[3] == "woman" || word[3] == "lady" || word[3] == "child" || word[3] == "kid" || word[3] == "grandma" || word[3] == "grandmom" || word[3] == "grandmother" || word[3] == "tricycle" || word[3] == "snake" || word[3] == "squirrel" || word[3] == "pig" || word[3] == "chicken" || word[3] == "mouse" || word[3] == "rat" || word[3] == "turtle" || word[3] == "tortoise" || word[3] == "sloth" || word[3] == "snail" || word[3] == "slug") && (word[4]=="or") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmy\b/)!= -1) && (word[6] == "lightning" || word[6] == "rocket" || word[6] == "jet" || word[6] == "plane" || word[6] == "airplane" || word[6] == "car" || word[6] == "auto" || word[6] == "automobile" || word[6] == "truck" || word[6] == "train" || word[6] == "motocycle" || word[6] == "boat" || word[6] == "motoboat" || word[6] == "speedboat" || word[6] == "ship" || word[6] == "falcon" || word[6] == "tractor" || word[6] == "bike" || word[6] == "bicycle" || word[6] == "cheetah" || word[6] == "antelope" || word[6] == "gazelle" || word[6] == "tiger" || word[6] == "horse" || word[6] == "zebra" || word[6] == "greyhound" || word[6] == "rabbit" || word[6] == "hare" || word[6] == "dog" || word[6] == "deer" || word[6] == "bear" || word[6] == "cat" || word[6] == "lion" || word[6] == "elephant" || word[6] == "man" || word[6] == "person" || word[6] == "woman" || word[6] == "lady" || word[6] == "child" || word[6] == "kid" || word[6] == "grandma" || word[6] == "grandmom" || word[6] == "grandmother" || word[6] == "tricycle" || word[6] == "snake" || word[6] == "squirrel" || word[6] == "pig" || word[6] == "chicken" || word[6] == "mouse" || word[6] == "rat" || word[6] == "turtle" || word[6] == "tortoise" || word[6] == "sloth" || word[6] == "snail" || word[6] == "slug") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = "The "+compareSlower2()+" is "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which)")!= -1) && (input.search("(brighter|brighest)")!= -1) && (input.search("(sun|moon)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(sun|moon)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The sun is brighter. In fact the moon produces no light at all. It's only reflective light from the sun.";
icon.src=icon33.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("divided by zero")!= -1 || input.search("divided by 0")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Any number divided by zero is undefined.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.indexOf("9/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("8/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("7/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("6/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("5/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("4/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("3/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("2/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("1/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("0/0")!= -1) && (input.length == 3) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Any number divided by zero is undefined.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.indexOf("95/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("90/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("85/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("80/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("75/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("70/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("65/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("60/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("55/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("50/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("45/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("40/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("35/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("30/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("25/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("20/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("15/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("14/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("13/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("12/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("11/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("10/0")!= -1) && (input.length == 4) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Any number divided by zero is undefined.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.indexOf("950/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("900/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("850/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("800/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("750/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("700/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("650/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("600/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("550/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("500/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("450/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("400/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("350/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("300/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("250/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("200/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("175/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("150/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("125/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("120/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("115/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("110/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("105/0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("100/0")!= -1) && (input.length == 5) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Any number divided by zero is undefined.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "What is what?"; 
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "What is what?"; 
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="x") && (word[2].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="x") && (word[4].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="x") && (word[6].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (num_of_words==7))                                    
{document.result.result.value = "That's too many numbers for me to figure out. Try this calculator instead."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calculator.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="x") && (word[4].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="x") && (word[6].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[7]=="+" || word[7]=="-" || word[7]=="*" || word[7]=="x") && (word[8].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (num_of_words==9))                                    
{document.result.result.value = "That's too many numbers for me to figure out. Try this calculator instead."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calculator.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="x") && (word[3].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="x") && (word[5].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[6]=="+" || word[6]=="-" || word[6]=="*" || word[6]=="x") && (word[7].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (num_of_words==8))                                    
{document.result.result.value = "That's too many numbers for me to figure out. Try this calculator instead."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calculator.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3] == "divide" || word[3] == "multipled" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (num_of_words==5))    
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+mathwordnumber1()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="zero" || word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen" || word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2] == "divide" || word[2] == "multipled" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (num_of_words==4))    
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+mathwordnumber2()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="zero" || word[0]=="one" || word[0]=="two" || word[0]=="three" || word[0]=="four" || word[0]=="five" || word[0]=="six" || word[0]=="seven" || word[0]=="eight" || word[0]=="nine" || word[0]=="ten" || word[0]=="eleven" || word[0]=="twelve" || word[0]=="thirteen" || word[0]=="fourteen" || word[0]=="fifteen" || word[0]=="sixteen" || word[0]=="seventeen" || word[0]=="eighteen" || word[0]=="nineteen" || word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="minus" || word[1]=="subtract" || word[1]=="less" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="^" || word[1]=="time" || word[1]=="x" || word[1]=="times" || word[1] == "divide" || word[1] == "multipled" || word[1]=="multiply") && (word[2].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+mathwordnumber3()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3] == "divide" || word[3] == "multipled" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==5))    
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+mathwordnumber4()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2] == "divide" || word[2] == "multipled" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="zero" || word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="eleven" || word[3]=="twelve" || word[3]=="thirteen" || word[3]=="fourteen" || word[3]=="fifteen" || word[3]=="sixteen" || word[3]=="seventeen" || word[3]=="eighteen" || word[3]=="nineteen" || word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==4))    
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+mathwordnumber5()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2] == "divide" || word[2] == "multipled" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="eleven" || word[3]=="twelve" || word[3]=="thirteen" || word[3]=="fourteen" || word[3]=="fifteen" || word[3]=="sixteen" || word[3]=="seventeen" || word[3]=="eighteen" || word[3]=="nineteen") && (word[4]=="hundred") && (num_of_words==5))    
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+mathwordnumber5A()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="minus" || word[1]=="subtract" || word[1]=="less" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="^" || word[1]=="time" || word[1]=="x" || word[1]=="times" || word[1] == "divide" || word[1] == "multipled" || word[1]=="multiply") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+mathwordnumber6()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="a" || word[2]=="b" || word[2]=="c" || word[2]=="d" || word[2]=="e" || word[2]=="f" || word[2]=="g" || word[2]=="h" || word[2]=="i" || word[2]=="j" || word[1]=="k" || word[2]=="l" || word[2]=="m" || word[2]=="n" || word[2]=="o" || word[2]=="p" || word[2]=="q" || word[2]=="r" || word[2]=="s" || word[2]=="t" || word[2]=="u" || word[2]=="v" || word[2]=="w" || word[2]=="x"  || word[2]=="y" || word[2]=="z") && (num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" is a letter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="a" || word[1]=="b" || word[1]=="c" || word[1]=="d" || word[1]=="e" || word[1]=="f" || word[1]=="g" || word[1]=="h" || word[1]=="i" || word[1]=="j" || word[1]=="k" || word[1]=="l" || word[1]=="m" || word[1]=="n" || word[1]=="o" || word[1]=="p" || word[1]=="q" || word[1]=="r" || word[1]=="s" || word[1]=="t" || word[2]=="u" || word[1]=="v" || word[1]=="w" || word[1]=="x" || word[1]=="y" || word[1]=="z") && (num_of_words==2))   
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+" is a letter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) 69")!= -1 || input.search("know what 69 is")!= -1 || input.search("what does 69 mean")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what 69 is")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "It's a sexual position in which two people align themselves so that each person's mouth is near the other's genitals, simultaneously performing oral sex."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "I believe "+word[2]+" is a number."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "I believe "+word[1]+" is a number."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="zero" || word[0]=="one" || word[0]=="two" || word[0]=="three" || word[0]=="four" || word[0]=="five" || word[0]=="six" || word[0]=="seven" || word[0]=="eight" || word[0]=="nine" || word[0]=="ten" || word[0]=="eleven" || word[0]=="twelve" || word[0]=="thirteen" || word[0]=="fourteen" || word[0]=="fifteen" || word[0]=="sixteen" || word[0]=="seventeen" || word[0]=="eighteen" || word[0]=="nineteen" || word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="minus" || word[1]=="subtract" || word[1]=="less" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="^" || word[1]=="time" || word[1]=="x" || word[1]=="times" || word[1]=="multiply") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="twenty-one" || word[4]=="twenty-two" || word[4]=="twenty-three" || word[4]=="twenty-four" || word[4]=="twenty-five" || word[4]=="twenty-six" || word[4]=="twenty-seven" || word[4]=="twenty-eight" || word[4]=="twenty-nine" || word[4]=="thirty-one" || word[4]=="thirty-two" || word[4]=="thirty-three" || word[4]=="thirty-four" || word[4]=="thirty-five" || word[4]=="thirty-six" || word[4]=="thirty-seven" || word[4]=="thirty-eight" || word[4]=="thirty-nine" || word[4]=="forty-one" || word[4]=="forty-two" || word[4]=="forty-three" || word[4]=="forty-four" || word[4]=="forty-five" || word[4]=="forty-six" || word[4]=="forty-seven" || word[4]=="forty-eight" || word[4]=="forty-nine" || word[4]=="fifty-one" || word[4]=="fifty-two" || word[4]=="fifty-three" || word[4]=="fifty-four" || word[4]=="fifty-five" || word[4]=="fifty-six" || word[4]=="fifty-seven" || word[4]=="fifty-eight" || word[4]=="fifty-nine" || word[4]=="sixty-one" || word[4]=="sixty-two" || word[4]=="sixty-three" || word[4]=="sixty-four" || word[4]=="sixty-five" || word[4]=="sixty-six" || word[4]=="sixty-seven" || word[4]=="sixty-eight" || word[4]=="sixty-nine" || word[4]=="seventy-one" || word[4]=="seventy-two" || word[4]=="seventy-three" || word[4]=="seventy-four" || word[4]=="seventy-five" || word[4]=="seventy-six" || word[4]=="seventy-seven" || word[4]=="seventy-eight" || word[4]=="seventy-nine" || word[4]=="eighty-one" || word[4]=="eighty-two" || word[4]=="eighty-three" || word[4]=="eighty-four" || word[4]=="eighty-five" || word[4]=="eighty-six" || word[4]=="eighty-seven" || word[4]=="eighty-eight" || word[4]=="eighty-nine" || word[4]=="ninety-one" || word[4]=="ninety-two" || word[4]=="ninety-three" || word[4]=="ninety-four" || word[4]=="ninety-five" || word[4]=="ninety-six" || word[4]=="ninety-seven" || word[4]=="ninety-eight" || word[4]=="ninety-nine") && (num_of_words==5))
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordMatherror1()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="zero" || word[0]=="one" || word[0]=="two" || word[0]=="three" || word[0]=="four" || word[0]=="five" || word[0]=="six" || word[0]=="seven" || word[0]=="eight" || word[0]=="nine" || word[0]=="ten" || word[0]=="eleven" || word[0]=="twelve" || word[0]=="thirteen" || word[0]=="fourteen" || word[0]=="fifteen" || word[0]=="sixteen" || word[0]=="seventeen" || word[0]=="eighteen" || word[0]=="nineteen" || word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="minus" || word[1]=="subtract" || word[1]=="less" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="^" || word[1]=="time" || word[1]=="x" || word[1]=="times" || word[1]=="multiply") && (word[2]=="twenty-one" || word[2]=="twenty-two" || word[2]=="twenty-three" || word[2]=="twenty-four" || word[2]=="twenty-five" || word[2]=="twenty-six" || word[2]=="twenty-seven" || word[2]=="twenty-eight" || word[2]=="twenty-nine" || word[2]=="thirty-one" || word[2]=="thirty-two" || word[2]=="thirty-three" || word[2]=="thirty-four" || word[2]=="thirty-five" || word[2]=="thirty-six" || word[2]=="thirty-seven" || word[2]=="thirty-eight" || word[2]=="thirty-nine" || word[2]=="forty-one" || word[2]=="forty-two" || word[2]=="forty-three" || word[2]=="forty-four" || word[2]=="forty-five" || word[2]=="forty-six" || word[2]=="forty-seven" || word[2]=="forty-eight" || word[2]=="forty-nine" || word[2]=="fifty-one" || word[2]=="fifty-two" || word[2]=="fifty-three" || word[2]=="fifty-four" || word[2]=="fifty-five" || word[2]=="fifty-six" || word[2]=="fifty-seven" || word[2]=="fifty-eight" || word[2]=="fifty-nine" || word[2]=="sixty-one" || word[2]=="sixty-two" || word[2]=="sixty-three" || word[2]=="sixty-four" || word[2]=="sixty-five" || word[2]=="sixty-six" || word[2]=="sixty-seven" || word[2]=="sixty-eight" || word[2]=="sixty-nine" || word[2]=="seventy-one" || word[2]=="seventy-two" || word[2]=="seventy-three" || word[2]=="seventy-four" || word[2]=="seventy-five" || word[2]=="seventy-six" || word[2]=="seventy-seven" || word[2]=="seventy-eight" || word[2]=="seventy-nine" || word[2]=="eighty-one" || word[2]=="eighty-two" || word[2]=="eighty-three" || word[2]=="eighty-four" || word[2]=="eighty-five" || word[2]=="eighty-six" || word[2]=="eighty-seven" || word[2]=="eighty-eight" || word[2]=="eighty-nine" || word[2]=="ninety-one" || word[2]=="ninety-two" || word[2]=="ninety-three" || word[2]=="ninety-four" || word[2]=="ninety-five" || word[2]=="ninety-six" || word[2]=="ninety-seven" || word[2]=="ninety-eight" || word[2]=="ninety-nine") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordMatherror2()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="twenty-one" || word[0]=="twenty-two" || word[0]=="twenty-three" || word[0]=="twenty-four" || word[0]=="twenty-five" || word[0]=="twenty-six" || word[0]=="twenty-seven" || word[0]=="twenty-eight" || word[0]=="twenty-nine" || word[0]=="thirty-one" || word[0]=="thirty-two" || word[0]=="thirty-three" || word[0]=="thirty-four" || word[0]=="thirty-five" || word[0]=="thirty-six" || word[0]=="thirty-seven" || word[0]=="thirty-eight" || word[0]=="thirty-nine" || word[0]=="forty-one" || word[0]=="forty-two" || word[0]=="forty-three" || word[0]=="forty-four" || word[0]=="forty-five" || word[0]=="forty-six" || word[0]=="forty-seven" || word[0]=="forty-eight" || word[0]=="forty-nine" || word[0]=="fifty-one" || word[0]=="fifty-two" || word[0]=="fifty-three" || word[0]=="fifty-four" || word[0]=="fifty-five" || word[0]=="fifty-six" || word[0]=="fifty-seven" || word[0]=="fifty-eight" || word[0]=="fifty-nine" || word[0]=="sixty-one" || word[0]=="sixty-two" || word[0]=="sixty-three" || word[0]=="sixty-four" || word[0]=="sixty-five" || word[0]=="sixty-six" || word[0]=="sixty-seven" || word[0]=="sixty-eight" || word[0]=="sixty-nine" || word[0]=="seventy-one" || word[0]=="seventy-two" || word[0]=="seventy-three" || word[0]=="seventy-four" || word[0]=="seventy-five" || word[0]=="seventy-six" || word[0]=="seventy-seven" || word[0]=="seventy-eight" || word[0]=="seventy-nine" || word[0]=="eighty-one" || word[0]=="eighty-two" || word[0]=="eighty-three" || word[0]=="eighty-four" || word[0]=="eighty-five" || word[0]=="eighty-six" || word[0]=="eighty-seven" || word[0]=="eighty-eight" || word[0]=="eighty-nine" || word[0]=="ninety-one" || word[0]=="ninety-two" || word[0]=="ninety-three" || word[0]=="ninety-four" || word[0]=="ninety-five" || word[0]=="ninety-six" || word[0]=="ninety-seven" || word[0]=="ninety-eight" || word[0]=="ninety-nine") && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="minus" || word[1]=="subtract" || word[1]=="less" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="^" || word[1]=="time" || word[1]=="x" || word[1]=="times" || word[1]=="multiply") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yuck math! How about "+getWordMatherror3()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="twenty-one" || word[0]=="twenty-two" || word[0]=="twenty-three" || word[0]=="twenty-four" || word[0]=="twenty-five" || word[0]=="twenty-six" || word[0]=="twenty-seven" || word[0]=="twenty-eight" || word[0]=="twenty-nine" || word[0]=="thirty-one" || word[0]=="thirty-two" || word[0]=="thirty-three" || word[0]=="thirty-four" || word[0]=="thirty-five" || word[0]=="thirty-six" || word[0]=="thirty-seven" || word[0]=="thirty-eight" || word[0]=="thirty-nine" || word[0]=="forty-one" || word[0]=="forty-two" || word[0]=="forty-three" || word[0]=="forty-four" || word[0]=="forty-five" || word[0]=="forty-six" || word[0]=="forty-seven" || word[0]=="forty-eight" || word[0]=="forty-nine" || word[0]=="fifty-one" || word[0]=="fifty-two" || word[0]=="fifty-three" || word[0]=="fifty-four" || word[0]=="fifty-five" || word[0]=="fifty-six" || word[0]=="fifty-seven" || word[0]=="fifty-eight" || word[0]=="fifty-nine" || word[0]=="sixty-one" || word[0]=="sixty-two" || word[0]=="sixty-three" || word[0]=="sixty-four" || word[0]=="sixty-five" || word[0]=="sixty-six" || word[0]=="sixty-seven" || word[0]=="sixty-eight" || word[0]=="sixty-nine" || word[0]=="seventy-one" || word[0]=="seventy-two" || word[0]=="seventy-three" || word[0]=="seventy-four" || word[0]=="seventy-five" || word[0]=="seventy-six" || word[0]=="seventy-seven" || word[0]=="seventy-eight" || word[0]=="seventy-nine" || word[0]=="eighty-one" || word[0]=="eighty-two" || word[0]=="eighty-three" || word[0]=="eighty-four" || word[0]=="eighty-five" || word[0]=="eighty-six" || word[0]=="eighty-seven" || word[0]=="eighty-eight" || word[0]=="eighty-nine" || word[0]=="ninety-one" || word[0]=="ninety-two" || word[0]=="ninety-three" || word[0]=="ninety-four" || word[0]=="ninety-five" || word[0]=="ninety-six" || word[0]=="ninety-seven" || word[0]=="ninety-eight" || word[0]=="ninety-nine") && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="minus" || word[1]=="subtract" || word[1]=="less" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="^" || word[1]=="time" || word[1]=="x" || word[1]=="times" || word[1]=="multiply") && (word[2]=="twenty-one" || word[2]=="twenty-two" || word[2]=="twenty-three" || word[2]=="twenty-four" || word[2]=="twenty-five" || word[2]=="twenty-six" || word[2]=="twenty-seven" || word[2]=="twenty-eight" || word[2]=="twenty-nine" || word[2]=="thirty-one" || word[2]=="thirty-two" || word[2]=="thirty-three" || word[2]=="thirty-four" || word[2]=="thirty-five" || word[2]=="thirty-six" || word[2]=="thirty-seven" || word[2]=="thirty-eight" || word[2]=="thirty-nine" || word[2]=="forty-one" || word[2]=="forty-two" || word[2]=="forty-three" || word[2]=="forty-four" || word[2]=="forty-five"|| word[2]=="forty-six" || word[2]=="forty-seven" || word[2]=="forty-eight" || word[2]=="forty-nine" || word[2]=="fifty-one" || word[2]=="fifty-two" || word[2]=="fifty-three" || word[2]=="fifty-four" || word[2]=="fifty-five" || word[2]=="fifty-six" || word[2]=="fifty-seven" || word[2]=="fifty-eight" || word[2]=="fifty-nine" || word[2]=="sixty-one" || word[2]=="sixty-two" || word[2]=="sixty-three" ||  word[2]=="sixty-four" || word[2]=="sixty-five" || word[2]=="sixty-six" || word[2]=="sixty-seven" || word[2]=="sixty-eight" || word[2]=="sixty-nine" || word[2]=="seventy-one" || word[2]=="seventy-two" || word[2]=="seventy-three" || word[2]=="seventy-four" || word[2]=="seventy-five" || word[2]=="seventy-six" || word[2]=="seventy-seven" || word[2]=="seventy-eight" || word[2]=="seventy-nine" || word[2]=="eighty-one" || word[2]=="eighty-two" ||word[2]=="eighty-three" || word[2]=="eighty-four" || word[2]=="eighty-five" || word[2]=="eighty-six" ||word[2]=="eighty-seven" ||word[2]=="eighty-eight" || word[2]=="eighty-nine" || word[2]=="ninety-one" || word[2]=="ninety-two" || word[2]=="ninety-three" || word[2]=="ninety-four" || word[2]=="ninety-five" || word[2]=="ninety-six" || word[2]=="ninety-seven" || word[2]=="ninety-eight" || word[2]=="ninety-nine") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordMatherror4()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="zero" || word[0]=="one" || word[0]=="two" || word[0]=="three" || word[0]=="four" || word[0]=="five" || word[0]=="six" || word[0]=="seven" || word[0]=="eight" || word[0]=="nine" || word[0]=="ten" || word[0]=="eleven" || word[0]=="twelve" || word[0]=="thirteen" || word[0]=="fourteen" || word[0]=="fifteen" || word[0]=="sixteen" || word[0]=="seventeen" || word[0]=="eighteen" || word[0]=="nineteen" || word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="minus" || word[1]=="subtract" || word[1]=="less" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="^" || word[1]=="time" || word[1]=="x" || word[1]=="times" || word[1]=="multiply") && (word[2]=="twenty-one" || word[2]=="twenty-two" || word[2]=="twenty-three" || word[2]=="twenty-four" || word[2]=="twenty-five" || word[2]=="twenty-six" || word[2]=="twentysix" || word[2]=="twenty-seven" || word[2]=="twenty-eight" || word[2]=="twenty-nine" || word[2]=="thirty-one" || word[2]=="thirty-two" || word[2]=="thirty-three" || word[2]=="thirty-four" || word[2]=="thirty-five" || word[2]=="thirty-six" || word[2]=="thirty-seven" || word[2]=="thirty-eight" || word[2]=="thirty-nine" || word[2]=="forty-one" || word[2]=="forty-two" ||word[2]=="forty-three" || word[2]=="forty-four" || word[2]=="forty-five" || word[2]=="forty-six" || word[2]=="forty-seven" || word[2]=="forty-eight" || word[2]=="forty-nine" || word[2]=="fifty-one" || word[2]=="fifty-two" || word[2]=="fifty-three" || word[2]=="fifty-four" || word[2]=="fifty-five" || word[2]=="fifty-six" || word[2]=="fifty-seven" || word[2]=="fifty-eight" || word[2]=="fifty-nine" || word[2]=="sixty-one" || word[2]=="sixty-two" || word[2]=="sixty-three" || word[2]=="sixty-four" || word[2]=="sixty-five" || word[2]=="sixty-six" || word[2]=="sixty-seven" || word[2]=="sixty-eight" || word[2]=="sixty-nine" || word[2]=="seventy-one" || word[2]=="seventy-two" || word[2]=="seventy-three" || word[2]=="seventy-four" || word[2]=="seventy-five" || word[2]=="seventy-six" || word[2]=="seventy-seven" || word[2]=="seventy-eight" || word[2]=="seventy-nine" || word[2]=="eighty-one" || word[2]=="eighty-two" || word[2]=="eighty-three" || word[2]=="eighty-four" || word[2]=="eighty-five" || word[2]=="eightyfive" || word[2]=="eighty-six" || word[2]=="eighty-seven" || word[2]=="eighty-eight" || word[2]=="eighty-nine" || word[2]=="ninety-one" || word[2]=="ninety-two" || word[2]=="ninety-three" || word[2]=="ninety-four" || word[2]=="ninety-five" || word[2]=="ninety-six" || word[2]=="ninety-seven" || word[2]=="ninety-eight" || word[2]=="ninety-nine") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="twenty-one" || word[4]=="twenty-two" || word[4]=="twenty-three" || word[4]=="twenty-four" || word[4]=="twenty-five" || word[4]=="twenty-six" || word[4]=="twenty-seven" || word[4]=="twenty-eight" || word[4]=="twenty-nine" || word[4]=="thirty-one" || word[4]=="thirty-two" || word[4]=="thirty-three" || word[4]=="thirty-four" || word[4]=="thirty-five" || word[4]=="thirty-six" || word[4]=="thirty-seven" || word[4]=="thirty-eight" || word[4]=="thirty-nine" || word[4]=="forty-one" || word[4]=="forty-two" || word[4]=="forty-three" || word[4]=="forty-four" || word[4]=="forty-five" || word[4]=="forty-six" || word[4]=="forty-seven" || word[4]=="forty-eight" || word[4]=="forty-nine" || word[4]=="fifty-one" ||  word[4]=="fifty-two" || word[4]=="fifty-three" || word[4]=="fifty-four" || word[4]=="fifty-five" || word[4]=="fifty-six" || word[4]=="fifty-seven" || word[4]=="fifty-eight" || word[4]=="fifty-nine" || word[4]=="sixty-one" || word[4]=="sixty-two" || word[4]=="sixty-three" || word[4]=="sixty-four" || word[4]=="sixty-five" || word[4]=="sixty-six" || word[4]=="sixty-seven" || word[4]=="sixty-eight" || word[4]=="sixty-nine" || word[4]=="seventy-one" || word[4]=="seventy-two" || word[4]=="seventy-three" || word[4]=="seventy-four" || word[4]=="seventy-five" || word[4]=="seventy-six" || word[4]=="seventy-seven" || word[4]=="seventy-eight" || word[4]=="seventy-nine" || word[4]=="eighty-one" || word[4]=="eighty-two" || word[4]=="eighty-three" || word[4]=="eighty-four" || word[4]=="eighty-five" || word[4]=="eighty-six" || word[4]=="eighty-seven" || word[4]=="eighty-eight" || word[4]=="eighty-nine" || word[4]=="ninety-one" || word[4]=="ninety-two" || word[4]=="ninety-three" || word[4]=="ninety-four" || word[4]=="ninety-five" || word[4]=="ninety-six" || word[4]=="ninety-seven" || word[4]=="ninety-eight" || word[4]=="ninety-nine") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordMatherror5()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="twenty-one" || word[0]=="twenty-two" || word[0]=="twenty-three" || word[0]=="twenty-four" || word[0]=="twenty-five" || word[0]=="twenty-six" || word[0]=="twenty-seven" || word[0]=="twenty-eight" || word[0]=="twenty-nine" || word[0]=="thirty-one" || word[0]=="thirty-two" || word[0]=="thirty-three" || word[0]=="thirty-four" || word[0]=="thirty-five" || word[0]=="thirty-six" || word[0]=="thirty-seven" || word[0]=="thirty-eight" || word[0]=="thirty-nine" || word[0]=="forty-one" || word[0]=="forty-two" || word[0]=="forty-three" || word[0]=="forty-four" || word[0]=="forty-five" || word[0]=="forty-six" || word[0]=="forty-seven" || word[0]=="forty-eight" || word[0]=="forty-nine" || word[0]=="fifty-one" || word[0]=="fifty-two" || word[0]=="fifty-three" || word[0]=="fifty-four" || word[0]=="fifty-five" || word[0]=="fifty-six" || word[0]=="fifty-seven" ||word[0]=="fifty-eight" || word[0]=="fifty-nine" || word[0]=="sixty-one" || word[0]=="sixty-two" || word[0]=="sixty-three" || word[0]=="sixty-four" || word[0]=="sixty-five" ||word[0]=="sixty-six" || word[0]=="sixty-eight" || word[0]=="sixty-nine" || word[0]=="seventy-one" || word[0]=="seventy-two" || word[0]=="seventy-three" || word[0]=="seventy-four" || word[0]=="seventy-five" || word[0]=="seventy-six" || word[0]=="seventy-seven" || word[0]=="seventy-eight" || word[0]=="seventy-nine" || word[0]=="eighty-one" || word[0]=="eighty-two" || word[0]=="eighty-three" || word[0]=="eighty-four" || word[0]=="eighty-five" || word[0]=="eighty-six" || word[0]=="eighty-seven" || word[0]=="eighty-eight" || word[0]=="eighty-nine" || word[0]=="ninety-one" || word[0]=="ninety-two" || word[0]=="ninety-three" || word[0]=="ninety-four" || word[0]=="ninety-five" || word[0]=="ninety-six" || word[0]=="ninety-seven" || word[0]=="ninety-eight" || word[0]=="ninety-nine") && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="minus" || word[1]=="subtract" || word[1]=="less" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="^" || word[1]=="time" || word[1]=="x" || word[1]=="times" || word[1]=="multiply") && (word[2]=="twenty-one" || word[2]=="twenty-two" || word[2]=="twenty-three" || word[2]=="twenty-four" || word[2]=="twenty-five" || word[2]=="twenty-six" || word[2]=="twenty-seven" || word[2]=="twenty-eight" || word[2]=="twenty-nine" || word[2]=="thirty-one" || word[2]=="thirty-two" || word[2]=="thirty-three" || word[2]=="thirty-four" || word[2]=="thirty-five" || word[2]=="thirty-six" || word[2]=="thirty-seven" || word[2]=="thirty-eight" || word[2]=="thirty-nine" || word[2]=="forty-one" || word[2]=="forty-two" || word[2]=="forty-three" || word[2]=="forty-four" ||word[2]=="forty-five" || word[2]=="forty-six" || word[2]=="forty-seven" || word[2]=="forty-eight" || word[2]=="forty-nine" || word[2]=="fifty-one" || word[2]=="fifty-two" || word[2]=="fifty-three" || word[2]=="fifty-four" || word[2]=="fifty-five" || word[2]=="fifty-six" || word[2]=="fifty-eight" || word[2]=="fifty-nine" || word[2]=="sixty-one" || word[2]=="sixty-two" || word[2]=="sixty-three" || word[2]=="sixty-four" || word[2]=="sixty-five" || word[2]=="sixty-six" || word[2]=="sixty-seven" || word[2]=="sixty-eight" || word[2]=="sixty-nine" || word[2]=="seventy-one" || word[2]=="seventy-two" || word[2]=="seventy-three" || word[2]=="seventy-four" || word[2]=="seventy-five" || word[2]=="seventy-six" || word[2]=="seventy-seven" || word[2]=="seventy-eight" || word[2]=="seventy-nine" || word[2]=="eighty-one" || word[2]=="eighty-two" || word[2]=="eighty-three" || word[2]=="eighty-four" || word[2]=="eighty-five" || word[2]=="eighty-six" || word[2]=="eighty-seven" || word[2]=="eighty-eight" || word[2]=="eighty-nine" || word[2]=="ninety-one" || word[2]=="ninety-two" || word[2]=="ninety-three" || word[2]=="ninety-four" || word[2]=="ninety-five" || word[2]=="ninety-six" || word[2]=="ninety-seven" || word[2]=="ninety-eight" || word[2]=="ninety-nine") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="twenty-one" || word[4]=="twenty-two" || word[4]=="twenty-three" || word[4]=="twenty-four" || word[4]=="twenty-five" || word[4]=="twenty-six" || word[4]=="twenty-seven" || word[4]=="twenty-eight" || word[4]=="twenty-nine" || word[4]=="thirty-one" || word[4]=="thirty-two" || word[4]=="thirty-three" || word[4]=="thirty-four" || word[4]=="thirty-five" || word[4]=="thirty-six" || word[4]=="thirty-seven" || word[4]=="thirty-eight" || word[4]=="thirty-nine" || word[4]=="forty-one" || word[4]=="forty-two" || word[4]=="forty-three" || word[4]=="forty-four" || word[4]=="forty-five" || word[4]=="forty-six" || word[4]=="forty-seven" || word[4]=="forty-eight" || word[4]=="forty-nine" || word[4]=="fifty-one" || word[4]=="fifty-two" || word[4]=="fifty-three" || word[4]=="fifty-four" || word[4]=="fifty-five" || word[4]=="fifty-six" || word[4]=="fifty-seven" || word[4]=="fifty-eight" || word[4]=="fifty-nine" || word[4]=="sixty-one" || word[4]=="sixty-two" || word[4]=="sixty-three" || word[4]=="sixty-four" || word[4]=="sixty-five" || word[4]=="sixty-six" || word[4]=="sixty-seven" || word[4]=="sixty-eight" || word[4]=="sixty-nine" || word[4]=="seventy-one" || word[4]=="seventy-two" || word[4]=="seventy-three" || word[4]=="seventy-four" || word[4]=="seventy-five" || word[4]=="seventy-six" || word[4]=="seventy-seven" || word[4]=="seventy-eight" || word[4]=="seventy-nine" || word[4]=="eighty-one" || word[4]=="eighty-two" || word[4]=="eighty-three" || word[4]=="eighty-four" || word[4]=="eighty-five"  || word[4]=="eighty-six" || word[4]=="eighty-seven" || word[4]=="eighty-eight" || word[4]=="eighty-nine" || word[4]=="ninety-one" || word[4]=="ninety-two" || word[4]=="ninety-three" || word[4]=="ninety-four" || word[4]=="ninety-five" || word[4]=="ninety-six" || word[4]=="ninety-seven" || word[4]=="ninety-eight" || word[4]=="ninety-nine") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordMatherror6()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="zero" || word[0]=="one" || word[0]=="two" || word[0]=="three" || word[0]=="four" || word[0]=="five" || word[0]=="six" || word[0]=="seven" || word[0]=="eight" || word[0]=="nine" || word[0]=="ten" || word[0]=="eleven" || word[0]=="twelve" || word[0]=="thirteen" || word[0]=="fourteen" || word[0]=="fifteen" || word[0]=="sixteen" || word[0]=="seventeen" || word[0]=="eighteen" || word[0]=="nineteen" || word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="minus" || word[1]=="subtract" || word[1]=="less" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="^" || word[1]=="time" || word[1]=="x" || word[1]=="times" || word[1]=="multiply") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine") && (num_of_words==6))         
{document.result.result.value = "Yuck math! How about "+getWordMath1()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="zero" || word[0]=="one" || word[0]=="two" || word[0]=="three" || word[0]=="four" || word[0]=="five" || word[0]=="six" || word[0]=="seven" || word[0]=="eight" || word[0]=="nine" || word[0]=="ten" || word[0]=="eleven" || word[0]=="twelve" || word[0]=="thirteen" || word[0]=="fourteen" || word[0]=="fifteen" || word[0]=="sixteen" || word[0]=="seventeen" || word[0]=="eighteen" || word[0]=="nineteen" || word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="minus" || word[1]=="subtract" || word[1]=="less" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="^" || word[1]=="time" || word[1]=="x" || word[1]=="times" || word[1]=="multiply") && (word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="x" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==6))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not a mathematician but how about "+getWordMath2()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="zero" || word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="eleven" || word[3]=="twelve" || word[3]=="thirteen" || word[3]=="fourteen" || word[3]=="fifteen" || word[3]=="sixteen" || word[3]=="seventeen" || word[3]=="eighteen" || word[3]=="nineteen" || word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="x" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==6))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not real good in math. How about about "+getWordMath3()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine") && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="plus" || word[5]=="add" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="minus" || word[5]=="subtract" || word[5]=="less" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="^" || word[5]=="time" || word[5]=="x" || word[5]=="times" || word[5]=="multiply") && (word[6]=="zero" || word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine" || word[6]=="ten" || word[6]=="eleven" || word[6]=="twelve" || word[6]=="thirteen" || word[6]=="fourteen" || word[6]=="fifteen" || word[6]=="sixteen" || word[6]=="seventeen" || word[6]=="eighteen" || word[6]=="nineteen" || word[6]=="twenty" || word[6]=="thirty" || word[6]=="forty" || word[6]=="fifty" || word[6]=="sixty" || word[6]=="seventy" || word[6]=="eighty" || word[6]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==7))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not a mathematician but how about "+getWordMath4()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="zero" || word[0]=="one" || word[0]=="two" || word[0]=="three" || word[0]=="four" || word[0]=="five" || word[0]=="six" || word[0]=="seven" || word[0]=="eight" || word[0]=="nine" || word[0]=="ten" || word[0]=="eleven" || word[0]=="twelve" || word[0]=="thirteen" || word[0]=="fourteen" || word[0]=="fifteen" || word[0]=="sixteen" || word[0]=="seventeen" || word[0]=="eighteen" || word[0]=="nineteen" || word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="minus" || word[1]=="subtract" || word[1]=="less" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="^" || word[1]=="time" || word[1]=="x" || word[1]=="times" || word[1]=="multiply") && (word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="x" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply") && (word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine") && (num_of_words==7))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not real good in math. How about "+getWordMath5()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine") && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="plus" || word[5]=="add" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="minus" || word[5]=="subtract" || word[5]=="less" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="^" || word[5]=="time" || word[5]=="x" || word[5]=="times" || word[5]=="multiply") && (word[6]=="twenty" || word[6]=="thirty" || word[6]=="forty" || word[6]=="fifty" || word[6]=="sixty" || word[6]=="seventy" || word[6]=="eighty" || word[6]=="ninety") && (word[7]=="one" || word[7]=="two" || word[7]=="three" || word[7]=="four" || word[7]=="five" || word[7]=="six" || word[7]=="seven" || word[7]=="eight" || word[7]=="nine") && (num_of_words==8))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not real good in math. How about "+getWordMath6()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="plus" || word[5]=="add" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="minus" || word[5]=="subtract" || word[5]=="less" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="^" || word[5]=="time" || word[5]=="x" || word[5]=="times" || word[5]=="multiply") && (word[6]=="twenty-one" || word[6]=="twenty-two" || word[6]=="twenty-three" || word[6]=="twenty-four" || word[6]=="twenty-five" || word[6]=="twenty-six" || word[6]=="twenty-seven" || word[6]=="twenty-eight" || word[6]=="twenty-nine" || word[6]=="thirty-one" || word[6]=="thirty-two" || word[6]=="thirty-three" || word[6]=="thirty-four" || word[6]=="thirty-five" || word[6]=="thirty-six" || word[6]=="thirty-seven" || word[6]=="thirty-eight" || word[6]=="thirty-nine" || word[6]=="forty-one" || word[6]=="forty-two" || word[6]=="forty-three" || word[6]=="forty-four" || word[6]=="forty-five" || word[6]=="forty-six" || word[6]=="forty-seven" || word[6]=="forty-eight" || word[6]=="forty-nine" || word[6]=="fifty-one" || word[6]=="fifty-two" || word[6]=="fifty-three" || word[6]=="fifty-four" || word[6]=="fifty-five" || word[6]=="fifty-six" || word[6]=="fifty-seven" || word[6]=="fifty-eight" || word[6]=="fifty-nine" || word[6]=="sixty-one" || word[6]=="sixty-two" || word[6]=="sixty-three" || word[6]=="sixty-four" || word[6]=="sixty-five" || word[6]=="sixty-six" || word[6]=="sixty-seven" || word[6]=="sixty-eight" || word[6]=="sixty-nine" || word[6]=="seventy-one" || word[6]=="seventy-two" || word[6]=="seventy-three" || word[6]=="seventy-four" || word[6]=="seventy-five" || word[6]=="seventy-six" || word[6]=="seventy-seven" || word[6]=="seventy-eight" || word[6]=="seventy-nine" || word[6]=="eighty-one" || word[6]=="eighty-two" || word[6]=="eighty-three" || word[6]=="eighty-four" || word[6]=="eighty-five" || word[6]=="eighty-six" || word[6]=="eighty-seven" || word[6]=="eighty-eight" || word[6]=="eighty-nine" || word[6]=="ninety-one" || word[6]=="ninety-two" || word[6]=="ninety-three" || word[6]=="ninety-four" || word[6]=="ninety-five" || word[6]=="ninety-six" || word[6]=="ninety-eight" || word[6]=="ninety-nine") && (num_of_words==7))     
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+getWordMathwhatiserror1()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="twenty-one" || word[4]=="twenty-two" || word[4]=="twenty-three" || word[4]=="twenty-four" || word[4]=="twenty-five" || word[4]=="twenty-six" || word[4]=="twenty-seven" || word[4]=="twenty-eight" || word[4]=="twenty-nine" || word[4]=="thirty-one" || word[4]=="thirty-two" || word[4]=="thirty-three" || word[4]=="thirty-four" || word[4]=="thirty-five" || word[4]=="thirty-six" || word[4]=="thirty-seven" || word[4]=="thirty-eight" || word[4]=="thirty-nine" || word[4]=="forty-one" || word[4]=="forty-two" || word[4]=="forty-three" || word[4]=="forty-four" || word[4]=="forty-five" || word[4]=="forty-six" || word[4]=="forty-seven" || word[4]=="forty-eight" || word[4]=="forty-nine" || word[4]=="fifty-one" || word[4]=="fifty-two" || word[4]=="fifty-three" || word[4]=="fifty-four" || word[4]=="fifty-five" || word[4]=="fifty-six" || word[4]=="fifty-seven" || word[4]=="fifty-eight" || word[4]=="fifty-nine" || word[4]=="sixty-one" || word[4]=="sixty-two" || word[4]=="sixty-three" || word[4]=="sixty-four" || word[4]=="sixty-five" || word[4]=="sixty-six" || word[4]=="sixty-seven" || word[4]=="sixty-eight" || word[4]=="sixty-nine" || word[4]=="seventy-one" || word[4]=="seventy-two" || word[4]=="seventy-three" || word[4]=="seventy-four" || word[4]=="seventy-five" || word[4]=="seventy-six" || word[4]=="seventy-seven" || word[4]=="seventy-eight" || word[4]=="seventy-nine" || word[4]=="eighty-one" || word[4]=="eighty-two" || word[4]=="eighty-three" || word[4]=="eighty-four" || word[4]=="eighty-five" || word[4]=="eighty-six" || word[4]=="eighty-seven" || word[4]=="eighty-nine" || word[4]=="ninety-one" || word[4]=="ninety-two" || word[4]=="ninety-three" || word[4]=="ninety-four" || word[4]=="ninety-five" || word[4]=="ninety-six" || word[4]=="ninety-seven" || word[4]=="ninety-eight" || word[4]=="ninety-nine") && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="plus" || word[5]=="add" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="minus" || word[5]=="subtract" || word[5]=="less" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="^" || word[5]=="time" || word[5]=="x" || word[5]=="times" || word[5]=="multiply") && (word[6]=="zero" || word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine" || word[6]=="ten" || word[6]=="eleven" || word[6]=="twelve" || word[6]=="thirteen" || word[6]=="fourteen" || word[6]=="fifteen" || word[6]=="sixteen" || word[6]=="seventeen" || word[6]=="eighteen" || word[6]=="nineteen" || word[6]=="twenty" || word[6]=="thirty" || word[6]=="forty" || word[6]=="fifty" || word[6]=="sixty" || word[6]=="seventy" || word[6]=="eighty" || word[6]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==7)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Math was never my favorite subject but "+getWordMathwhatiserror2()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="twenty-one" || word[2]=="twenty-two" || word[2]=="twenty-three" || word[2]=="twenty-four" || word[2]=="twenty-five" || word[2]=="twenty-six" || word[2]=="twenty-seven" || word[2]=="twenty-eight" || word[2]=="twenty-nine" || word[2]=="thirty-one" || word[2]=="thirty-two" || word[2]=="thirty-three" || word[2]=="thirty-four" || word[2]=="thirty-five" || word[2]=="thirty-six" || word[2]=="thirty-seven" || word[2]=="thirty-eight" || word[2]=="thirty-nine" || word[2]=="forty-one" || word[2]=="forty-two" || word[2]=="forty-three" || word[2]=="forty-four" || word[2]=="forty-five" || word[2]=="forty-six" || word[2]=="forty-seven" || word[2]=="forty-eight" || word[2]=="forty-nine" || word[2]=="fifty-one" || word[2]=="fifty-two" || word[2]=="fifty-three" || word[2]=="fifty-four" || word[2]=="fifty-five" || word[2]=="fifty-six" || word[2]=="fifty-seven" || word[2]=="fifty-eight" || word[2]=="fifty-nine" || word[2]=="sixty-one" || word[2]=="sixty-two" || word[2]=="sixty-three" || word[2]=="sixty-four" || word[2]=="sixty-five" || word[2]=="sixty-six" || word[2]=="sixty-seven" || word[2]=="sixty-eight" || word[2]=="sixty-nine" || word[2]=="seventy-one" || word[2]=="seventy-two" || word[2]=="seventy-three" || word[2]=="seventy-four" || word[2]=="seventy-five" || word[2]=="seventy-six" || word[2]=="seventy-seven" || word[2]=="seventy-eight" || word[2]=="seventy-nine" || word[2]=="eighty-one" || word[2]=="eighty-two" || word[2]=="eighty-three" || word[2]=="eighty-four" || word[2]=="eighty-five" || word[2]=="eighty-six" || word[2]=="eighty-seven" || word[2]=="eighty-eight" || word[2]=="eighty-nine" || word[2]=="ninety-one" || word[2]=="ninety-two" || word[2]=="ninety-three" || word[2]=="ninety-four" || word[2]=="ninety-five" || word[2]=="ninety-six" || word[2]=="ninety-seven" || word[2]=="ninety-eight" || word[2]=="ninety-nine") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="plus" || word[5]=="add" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="minus" || word[5]=="subtract" || word[5]=="less" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="^" || word[5]=="time" || word[5]=="x" || word[5]=="times" || word[5]=="multiply") && (word[6]=="zero" || word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine" || word[6]=="ten" || word[6]=="eleven" || word[6]=="twelve" || word[6]=="thirteen" || word[6]=="fourteen" || word[6]=="fifteen" || word[6]=="sixteen" || word[6]=="seventeen" || word[6]=="eighteen" || word[6]=="nineteen" || word[6]=="twenty" || word[6]=="thirty" || word[6]=="forty" || word[6]=="fifty" || word[6]=="sixty" || word[6]=="seventy" || word[6]=="eighty" || word[6]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==7)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Looking into the crystal ball I'm seeing the number "+getWordMathwhatiserror3()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon68.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="twenty-one" || word[2]=="twenty-two" || word[2]=="twenty-three" || word[2]=="twenty-four" || word[2]=="twenty-five" || word[2]=="twenty-six" || word[2]=="twenty-seven" || word[2]=="twenty-eight" || word[2]=="twenty-nine" || word[2]=="thirty-one" || word[2]=="thirty-two" || word[2]=="thirty-three" ||word[2]=="thirty-four" || word[2]=="thirty-five" || word[2]=="thirty-six" || word[2]=="thirty-seven" || word[2]=="thirty-eight" || word[2]=="thirty-nine" || word[2]=="forty-one" || word[2]=="forty-two" || word[2]=="forty-three" || word[2]=="forty-four" || word[2]=="forty-five" || word[2]=="forty-six" || word[2]=="forty-seven" ||  word[2]=="forty-eight" || word[2]=="forty-nine" || word[2]=="fifty-one" || word[2]=="fifty-two" || word[2]=="fifty-three" || word[2]=="fifty-four" || word[2]=="fifty-five" || word[2]=="fifty-six" || word[2]=="fifty-seven" || word[2]=="fifty-eight" || word[2]=="fifty-nine" || word[2]=="sixty-one" || word[2]=="sixty-two" || word[2]=="sixty-three" || word[2]=="sixty-four" || word[2]=="sixty-five" || word[2]=="sixty-six" || word[2]=="sixty-seven" || word[2]=="sixty-eight" || word[2]=="sixty-nine" || word[2]=="seventy-one" || word[2]=="seventy-two" || word[2]=="seventy-three" || word[2]=="seventy-four" || word[2]=="seventy-five" || word[2]=="seventy-six" || word[2]=="seventy-seven" || word[2]=="seventy-eight" || word[2]=="seventy-nine" || word[2]=="eighty-one" || word[2]=="eighty-two" || word[2]=="eighty-three" || word[2]=="eighty-four" || word[2]=="eighty-five" || word[2]=="eighty-six" || word[2]=="eighty-seven" || word[2]=="eighty-eight" || word[2]=="eighty-nine" || word[2]=="ninety-one" || word[2]=="ninety-two" || word[2]=="ninety-three" || word[2]=="ninety-four" || word[2]=="ninety-five" || word[2]=="ninety-six" || word[2]=="ninety-seven" || word[2]=="ninety-eight" || word[2]=="ninety-nine") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="twenty-one" || word[4]=="twenty-two" || word[4]=="twenty-three" || word[4]=="twenty-four" || word[4]=="twenty-five" || word[4]=="twenty-six" || word[4]=="twenty-seven" || word[4]=="twenty-eight" || word[4]=="twenty-nine" || word[4]=="thirty-one" || word[4]=="thirty-two" || word[4]=="thirty-three" || word[4]=="thirty-four" || word[4]=="thirty-five" || word[4]=="thirty-six" || word[4]=="thirty-seven" || word[4]=="thirty-eight" || word[4]=="thirty-nine" || word[4]=="forty-one" || word[4]=="forty-two" || word[4]=="forty-three" || word[4]=="forty-four" || word[4]=="forty-five" || word[4]=="forty-six" || word[4]=="forty-seven" || word[4]=="forty-eight" || word[4]=="forty-nine" || word[4]=="fifty-one" || word[4]=="fifty-two" || word[4]=="fifty-three" || word[4]=="fifty-four" || word[4]=="fifty-five" || word[4]=="fifty-six" || word[4]=="fifty-seven" || word[4]=="fifty-eight" || word[4]=="fifty-nine" || word[4]=="sixty-one" || word[4]=="sixty-two" || word[4]=="sixty-three" || word[4]=="sixty-four" || word[4]=="sixty-five" || word[4]=="sixty-six" || word[4]=="sixty-seven" || word[4]=="sixty-eight" || word[4]=="sixty-nine" || word[4]=="seventy-one" || word[4]=="seventy-two" || word[4]=="seventy-three" || word[4]=="seventy-four" || word[4]=="seventy-five" || word[4]=="seventy-six" || word[4]=="seventy-seven" || word[4]=="seventy-eight" || word[4]=="seventy-nine" || word[4]=="eighty-one" || word[4]=="eighty-two" || word[4]=="eighty-three" || word[4]=="eighty-four" || word[4]=="eighty-five" || word[4]=="eighty-six" || word[4]=="eighty-seven" || word[4]=="eighty-eight" || word[4]=="eighty-nine" || word[4]=="ninety-one" || word[4]=="ninety-two" || word[4]=="ninety-three" || word[4]=="ninety-four" || word[4]=="ninety-five" || word[4]=="ninety-six" || word[4]=="ninety-seven" || word[4]=="ninety-eight" || word[4]=="ninety-nine") && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="plus" || word[5]=="add" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="minus" || word[5]=="subtract" || word[5]=="less" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="^" || word[5]=="time" || word[5]=="x" || word[5]=="times" || word[5]=="multiply") && (word[6]=="zero" || word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine" || word[6]=="ten" || word[6]=="eleven" || word[6]=="twelve" || word[6]=="thirteen" || word[6]=="fourteen" || word[6]=="fifteen" || word[6]=="sixteen" || word[6]=="seventeen" || word[6]=="eighteen" || word[6]=="nineteen" || word[6]=="twenty" || word[6]=="thirty" || word[6]=="forty" || word[6]=="fifty" || word[6]=="sixty" || word[6]=="seventy" || word[6]=="eighty" || word[6]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==7)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Looking into the crystal ball I'm seeing the number "+getWordMathwhatiserror4()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon68.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="twenty-one" || word[4]=="twenty-two" || word[4]=="twenty-three" || word[4]=="twenty-four" || word[4]=="twenty-five" || word[4]=="twenty-six" || word[4]=="twenty-seven" || word[4]=="twenty-eight" || word[4]=="twenty-nine" || word[4]=="thirty-one" || word[4]=="thirty-two" || word[4]=="thirty-three" || word[4]=="thirty-four" || word[4]=="thirty-five" || word[4]=="thirty-six" || word[4]=="thirty-seven" || word[4]=="thirty-eight" || word[4]=="thirty-nine" || word[4]=="forty-one" || word[4]=="forty-two" || word[4]=="forty-three" || word[4]=="forty-four" || word[4]=="forty-five" || word[4]=="forty-six" || word[4]=="forty-seven" || word[4]=="forty-eight" || word[4]=="forty-nine" || word[4]=="fifty-one" || word[4]=="fifty-two" || word[4]=="fifty-three" || word[4]=="fifty-four" || word[4]=="fifty-five" || word[4]=="fifty-six" || word[4]=="fifty-seven" || word[4]=="fifty-eight" || word[4]=="fifty-nine" || word[4]=="sixty-one" || word[4]=="sixty-two" || word[4]=="sixty-three" || word[4]=="sixty-four" || word[4]=="sixty-five" || word[4]=="sixty-six" || word[4]=="sixty-seven" || word[4]=="sixty-eight" || word[4]=="sixty-nine" || word[4]=="seventy-one" || word[4]=="seventy-two" || word[4]=="seventy-three" ||  word[4]=="seventy-four" || word[4]=="seventy-five" || word[4]=="seventy-six" || word[4]=="seventy-seven" || word[4]=="seventy-eight" || word[4]=="seventy-nine" || word[4]=="eighty-one" || word[4]=="eighty-two" || word[4]=="eighty-three" || word[4]=="eighty-four" || word[4]=="eighty-five" || word[4]=="eighty-six" || word[4]=="eighty-seven" || word[4]=="eighty-eight" || word[4]=="eighty-nine" || word[4]=="ninety-one" || word[4]=="ninety-two" || word[4]=="ninety-three" || word[4]=="ninety-four" || word[4]=="ninety-five" || word[4]=="ninety-six" || word[4]=="ninety-seven" || word[4]=="ninety-eight" || word[4]=="ninety-nine") && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="plus" || word[5]=="add" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="minus" || word[5]=="subtract" || word[5]=="less" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="^" || word[5]=="time" || word[5]=="x" || word[5]=="times" || word[5]=="multiply") && (word[6]=="twenty-one" || word[6]=="twenty-two" || word[6]=="twenty-three" || word[6]=="twenty-four" || word[6]=="twenty-five" || word[6]=="twenty-six" || word[6]=="twenty-seven" || word[6]=="twenty-eight" || word[6]=="twenty-nine" || word[6]=="thirty-one" || word[6]=="thirty-two" || word[6]=="thirty-three" || word[6]=="thirty-four" || word[6]=="thirty-five" || word[6]=="thirty-six" || word[6]=="thirty-seven" || word[6]=="thirty-eight" || word[6]=="thirty-nine" || word[6]=="forty-one" || word[6]=="forty-two" || word[6]=="forty-three" || word[6]=="forty-four" || word[6]=="forty-five" || word[6]=="forty-six" || word[6]=="forty-seven" || word[6]=="forty-eight" || word[6]=="forty-nine" || word[6]=="fifty-one" || word[6]=="fifty-two" || word[6]=="fifty-three" || word[6]=="fifty-four" || word[6]=="fifty-five" || word[6]=="fifty-six" || word[6]=="fifty-seven" || word[6]=="fifty-eight" || word[6]=="fifty-nine" || word[6]=="sixty-one" || word[6]=="sixty-two" || word[6]=="sixty-three" || word[6]=="sixty-four" || word[6]=="sixty-five" || word[6]=="sixty-six" || word[6]=="sixty-seven" || word[6]=="sixty-eight" || word[6]=="sixty-nine" || word[6]=="seventy-one" || word[6]=="seventy-two" || word[6]=="seventy-three" || word[6]=="seventy-four" || word[6]=="seventy-five" || word[6]=="seventy-six" || word[6]=="seventy-seven" || word[6]=="seventy-eight" || word[6]=="seventy-nine" || word[6]=="eighty-one" || word[6]=="eighty-two" || word[6]=="eighty-three" || word[6]=="eighty-four" || word[6]=="eighty-five" || word[6]=="eighty-six" || word[6]=="eighty-seven" || word[6]=="eighty-eight" || word[6]=="eighty-nine" || word[6]=="ninety-one" || word[6]=="ninety-two" || word[6]=="ninety-three" || word[6]=="ninety-four" || word[6]=="ninety-five" || word[6]=="ninety-six" || word[6]=="ninety-seven" || word[6]=="ninety-eight" || word[6]=="ninety-nine") && (num_of_words==7)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Looking into the crystal ball I'm seeing the number "+getWordMathwhatiserror5()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon68.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="twenty-one" || word[2]=="twenty-two" || word[2]=="twenty-three" || word[2]=="twenty-four" || word[2]=="twenty-five" || word[2]=="twenty-six" || word[2]=="twenty-seven" || word[2]=="twenty-eight" || word[2]=="twenty-nine" || word[2]=="thirty-one" ||word[2]=="thirty-two" || word[2]=="thirty-three" || word[2]=="thirty-four" || word[2]=="thirty-five" || word[2]=="thirty-six" || word[2]=="thirty-seven" || word[2]=="thirty-eight" || word[2]=="thirty-nine" || word[2]=="forty-one" || word[2]=="forty-two" || word[2]=="forty-three" || word[2]=="forty-four" || word[2]=="forty-five" || word[2]=="forty-six" || word[2]=="forty-seven" || word[2]=="forty-eight" || word[2]=="forty-nine" || word[2]=="fifty-one" || word[2]=="fifty-two" || word[2]=="fifty-three" || word[2]=="fifty-four" || word[2]=="fifty-five" || word[2]=="fifty-six" || word[2]=="fifty-seven" || word[2]=="fifty-eight" || word[2]=="fifty-nine" || word[2]=="sixty-one" || word[2]=="sixty-two" || word[2]=="sixty-three" || word[2]=="sixty-four" || word[2]=="sixty-five" || word[2]=="sixty-six" || word[2]=="sixty-seven" || word[2]=="sixty-eight" || word[2]=="sixty-nine" || word[2]=="seventy-one" || word[2]=="seventy-two" || word[2]=="seventy-three" || word[2]=="seventy-four" || word[2]=="seventy-five" || word[2]=="seventy-six" || word[2]=="seventy-seven" || word[2]=="seventy-eight" || word[2]=="seventy-nine" || word[2]=="eighty-one" || word[2]=="eighty-two" || word[2]=="eighty-three" || word[2]=="eighty-four" || word[2]=="eighty-five" || word[2]=="eighty-six" || word[2]=="eighty-seven" || word[2]=="eighty-eight" || word[2]=="eighty-nine" || word[2]=="ninety-one" || word[2]=="ninety-two" || word[2]=="ninety-three" || word[2]=="ninety-four" || word[2]=="ninety-five" || word[2]=="ninety-six" || word[2]=="ninety-seven" || word[2]=="ninety-eight" || word[2]=="ninety-nine") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="twenty-one" || word[4]=="twenty-two" || word[4]=="twenty-three" || word[4]=="twenty-four" || word[4]=="twenty-five" || word[4]=="twenty-six" || word[4]=="twenty-seven" || word[4]=="twenty-eight" || word[4]=="twenty-nine" || word[4]=="thirty-one" || word[4]=="thirty-two" || word[4]=="thirty-three" || word[4]=="thirty-four" || word[4]=="thirty-five" || word[4]=="thirty-six" || word[4]=="thirty-seven" || word[4]=="thirty-eight" || word[4]=="thirty-nine" || word[4]=="forty-one" || word[4]=="forty-two" || word[4]=="forty-three" || word[4]=="forty-four" || word[4]=="forty-five" || word[4]=="forty-six" || word[4]=="forty-seven" || word[4]=="forty-eight" || word[4]=="forty-nine" || word[4]=="fifty-one" || word[4]=="fifty-two" || word[4]=="fifty-three" || word[4]=="fifty-four" || word[4]=="fifty-five" || word[4]=="fifty-six" || word[4]=="fifty-seven" || word[4]=="fifty-eight" || word[4]=="fifty-nine" || word[4]=="sixty-one" || word[4]=="sixty-two" || word[4]=="sixty-three" || word[4]=="sixty-four" || word[4]=="sixty-five" || word[4]=="sixty-six" || word[4]=="sixty-seven" || word[4]=="sixty-eight" || word[4]=="sixty-nine" || word[4]=="seventy-one" || word[4]=="seventy-two" || word[4]=="seventy-three" || word[4]=="seventy-four" || word[4]=="seventy-five" || word[4]=="seventy-six" || word[4]=="seventy-seven" || word[4]=="seventy-eight" || word[4]=="seventy-nine" || word[4]=="eighty-one" || word[4]=="eighty-two" || word[4]=="eighty-three" || word[4]=="eighty-four" || word[4]=="eighty-five" || word[4]=="eighty-six" || word[4]=="eighty-seven" || word[4]=="eighty-eight" || word[4]=="eighty-nine" || word[4]=="ninety-one" || word[4]=="ninety-two" || word[4]=="ninety-three" || word[4]=="ninety-four" || word[4]=="ninety-five" || word[4]=="ninety-six" || word[4]=="ninety-seven" || word[4]=="ninety-eight" || word[4]=="ninety-nine") && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="plus" || word[5]=="add" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="minus" || word[5]=="subtract" || word[5]=="less" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="^" || word[5]=="time" || word[5]=="x" || word[5]=="times" || word[5]=="multiply") && (word[6]=="twenty-one" || word[6]=="twenty-two" || word[6]=="twenty-three" || word[6]=="twenty-four" || word[6]=="twenty-five" || word[6]=="twenty-six" || word[6]=="twenty-seven" || word[6]=="twenty-eight" || word[6]=="twenty-nine" || word[6]=="thirty-one" || word[6]=="thirty-two" || word[6]=="thirty-three" || word[6]=="thirty-four" || word[6]=="thirty-five" || word[6]=="thirty-six" || word[6]=="thirty-seven" || word[6]=="thirty-eight" || word[6]=="forty-one" || word[6]=="forty-two" || word[6]=="forty-three" || word[6]=="forty-four" || word[6]=="forty-five" || word[6]=="forty-six" || word[6]=="forty-seven" || word[6]=="forty-eight" || word[6]=="forty-nine" || word[6]=="fifty-one" || word[6]=="fifty-two" || word[6]=="fifty-three" || word[6]=="fifty-four" || word[6]=="fifty-five" || word[6]=="fifty-six" || word[6]=="fifty-seven" || word[6]=="fifty-eight" || word[6]=="fifty-nine" || word[6]=="sixty-one" || word[6]=="sixty-two" || word[6]=="sixty-three" || word[6]=="sixty-four" || word[6]=="sixty-five" || word[6]=="sixty-six" || word[6]=="sixty-seven" || word[6]=="sixty-eight" || word[6]=="sixty-nine" || word[6]=="seventy-one" || word[6]=="seventy-two" || word[6]=="seventy-three" || word[6]=="seventy-four" || word[6]=="seventy-five" || word[6]=="seventy-six" || word[6]=="seventy-seven" || word[6]=="seventy-eight" || word[6]=="seventy-nine" || word[6]=="eighty-one" || word[6]=="eighty-two" || word[6]=="eighty-three" || word[6]=="eighty-four" || word[6]=="eighty-five" || word[6]=="eighty-six" || word[6]=="eighty-seven" || word[6]=="eighty-eight" || word[6]=="eighty-nine" || word[6]=="ninety-one" || word[6]=="ninety-two" || word[6]=="ninety-three" || word[6]=="ninety-four" || word[6]=="ninety-five" || word[6]=="ninety-six" || word[6]=="ninety-seven" || word[6]=="ninety-eight" || word[6]=="ninety-nine") && (num_of_words==7)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Looking into the crystal ball I'm seeing the number "+getWordMathwhatiserror6()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon68.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="plus" || word[5]=="add" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="minus" || word[5]=="subtract" || word[5]=="less" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="^" || word[5]=="time" || word[5]=="x" || word[5]=="times" || word[5]=="multiply") && (word[6]=="twenty" || word[6]=="thirty" || word[6]=="forty" || word[6]=="fifty" || word[6]=="sixty" || word[6]=="seventy" || word[6]=="eighty" || word[6]=="ninety") && (word[7]=="one" || word[7]=="two" || word[7]=="three" || word[7]=="four" || word[7]=="five" || word[7]=="six" || word[7]=="seven" || word[7]=="eight" || word[7]=="nine") && (num_of_words==8))        
{document.result.result.value = "Math was never my favorite subject but "+getWordMathwhatis1()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine") && (word[6]=="+" || word[6]=="plus" || word[6]=="add" || word[6]=="-" || word[6]=="minus" || word[6]=="subtract" || word[6]=="less" || word[6]=="*" || word[6]=="^" || word[6]=="time" || word[6]=="x" || word[6]=="times" || word[6]=="multiply") && (word[7]=="zero" || word[7]=="one" || word[7]=="two" || word[7]=="three" || word[7]=="four" || word[7]=="five" || word[7]=="six" || word[7]=="seven" || word[7]=="eight" || word[7]=="nine" || word[7]=="ten" || word[7]=="eleven" || word[7]=="twelve" || word[7]=="thirteen" || word[7]=="fourteen" || word[7]=="fifteen" || word[7]=="sixteen" || word[7]=="seventeen" || word[7]=="eighteen" || word[7]=="nineteen" || word[7]=="twenty" || word[7]=="thirty" || word[7]=="forty" || word[7]=="fifty" || word[7]=="sixty" || word[7]=="seventy" || word[7]=="eighty" || word[7]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==8))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not a mathematician but how about "+getWordMathwhatis2()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="x" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (word[6]=="+" || word[6]=="plus" || word[6]=="add" || word[6]=="-" || word[6]=="minus" || word[6]=="subtract" || word[6]=="less" || word[6]=="*" || word[6]=="^" || word[6]=="time" || word[6]=="x" || word[6]=="times" || word[6]=="multiply") && (word[7]=="zero" || word[7]=="one" || word[7]=="two" || word[7]=="three" || word[7]=="four" || word[7]=="five" || word[7]=="six" || word[7]=="seven" || word[7]=="eight" || word[7]=="nine" || word[7]=="ten" || word[7]=="eleven" || word[7]=="twelve" || word[7]=="thirteen" || word[7]=="fourteen" || word[7]=="fifteen" || word[7]=="sixteen" || word[7]=="seventeen" || word[7]=="eighteen" || word[7]=="nineteen" || word[7]=="twenty" || word[7]=="thirty" || word[7]=="forty" || word[7]=="fifty" || word[7]=="sixty" || word[7]=="seventy" || word[7]=="eighty" || word[7]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==8))         
{document.result.result.value = "Looking into the crystal ball I'm seeing the number "+getWordMathwhatis3()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon68.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="x" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply") && (word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine") && (word[7]=="+" || word[7]=="plus" || word[7]=="add" || word[7]=="-" || word[7]=="minus" || word[7]=="subtract" || word[7]=="less" || word[7]=="*" || word[7]=="^" || word[7]=="time" || word[7]=="x" || word[7]=="times" || word[7]=="multiply") && (word[8]=="zero" || word[8]=="one" || word[8]=="two" || word[8]=="three" || word[8]=="four" || word[8]=="five" || word[8]=="six" || word[8]=="seven" || word[8]=="eight" || word[8]=="nine" || word[8]=="ten" || word[8]=="eleven" || word[8]=="twelve" || word[8]=="thirteen" || word[8]=="fourteen" || word[8]=="fifteen" || word[8]=="sixteen" || word[8]=="seventeen" || word[8]=="eighteen" || word[8]=="nineteen" || word[8]=="twenty" || word[8]=="thirty" || word[8]=="forty" || word[8]=="fifty" || word[8]=="sixty" || word[8]=="seventy" || word[8]=="eighty" || word[8]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==9))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not a mathematician but how about "+getWordMathwhatis4()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine") && (word[6]=="+" || word[6]=="plus" || word[6]=="add" || word[6]=="-" || word[6]=="minus" || word[6]=="subtract" || word[6]=="less" || word[6]=="*" || word[6]=="^" || word[6]=="time" || word[6]=="x" || word[6]=="times" || word[6]=="multiply") && (word[7]=="twenty" || word[7]=="thirty" || word[7]=="forty" || word[7]=="fifty" || word[7]=="sixty" || word[7]=="seventy" || word[7]=="eighty" || word[7]=="ninety") && (word[8]=="one" || word[8]=="two" || word[8]=="three" || word[8]=="four" || word[8]=="five" || word[8]=="six" || word[8]=="seven" || word[8]=="eight" || word[8]=="nine") && (num_of_words==9))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not real good in math. How about "+getWordMathwhatis5()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="x" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply") && (word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine") && (word[7]=="+" || word[7]=="plus" || word[7]=="add" || word[7]=="-" || word[7]=="minus" || word[7]=="subtract" || word[7]=="less" || word[7]=="*" || word[7]=="^" || word[7]=="time" || word[7]=="x" || word[7]=="times" || word[7]=="multiply") && (word[8]=="twenty" || word[8]=="thirty" || word[8]=="forty" || word[8]=="fifty" || word[8]=="sixty" || word[8]=="seventy" || word[8]=="eighty" || word[8]=="ninety") && (word[9]=="one" || word[9]=="two" || word[9]=="three" || word[9]=="four" || word[9]=="five" || word[9]=="six" || word[9]=="seven" || word[9]=="eight" || word[9]=="nine") && (num_of_words==10))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not real good in math. How about "+getWordMathwhatis6()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="zero" || word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen" || word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="zero" || word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="eleven" || word[3]=="twelve" || word[3]=="thirteen" || word[3]=="fourteen" || word[3]=="fifteen" || word[3]=="sixteen" || word[3]=="seventeen" || word[3]=="eighteen" || word[3]=="nineteen" || word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="x" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply") && (word[5]=="twenty-one" || word[5]=="twenty-two" || word[5]=="twenty-three" || word[5]=="twenty-four" || word[5]=="twenty-five" || word[5]=="twenty-six" || word[5]=="twenty-seven" || word[5]=="twenty-eight" || word[5]=="twenty-nine" || word[5]=="thirty-one" || word[5]=="thirty-two" || word[5]=="thirty-three" || word[5]=="thirty-four" || word[5]=="thirty-five" || word[5]=="thirty-six" || word[5]=="thirty-seven" || word[5]=="thirty-eight" || word[5]=="thirty-nine" || word[5]=="forty-one" || word[5]=="forty-two" || word[5]=="forty-three" || word[5]=="forty-four" || word[5]=="forty-five" || word[5]=="forty-six" || word[5]=="forty-seven" || word[5]=="forty-eight" || word[5]=="forty-nine" || word[5]=="fifty-one" || word[5]=="fifty-two" || word[5]=="fifty-three" || word[5]=="fifty-four" || word[5]=="fifty-five" || word[5]=="fifty-six" || word[5]=="fifty-seven" || word[5]=="fifty-eight" || word[5]=="fifty-nine" || word[5]=="sixty-one" || word[5]=="sixty-two" || word[5]=="sixty-three" || word[5]=="sixty-four" || word[5]=="sixty-five" || word[5]=="sixty-six" || word[5]=="sixty-seven" || word[5]=="sixty-eight" || word[5]=="sixty-nine" || word[5]=="seventy-one" || word[5]=="seventy-two" || word[5]=="seventy-three" || word[5]=="seventy-four" || word[5]=="seventy-five" || word[5]=="seventy-six" || word[5]=="seventy-seven" || word[5]=="seventy-eight" || word[5]=="seventy-nine" || word[5]=="eighty-one" || word[5]=="eighty-two" || word[5]=="eighty-three" || word[5]=="eighty-four" || word[5]=="eighty-five" || word[5]=="eighty-six" || word[5]=="eighty-seven" || word[5]=="eighty-eight" || word[5]=="eighty-nine" || word[5]=="ninety-one" || word[5]=="ninety-two" || word[5]=="ninety-three" || word[5]=="ninety-four" || word[5]=="ninety-five" || word[5]=="ninety-six" || word[5]=="ninety-seven" || word[5]=="ninety-eight" || word[5]=="ninety-nine") && (num_of_words==6))     
{document.result.result.value = "I was never too fond of math but how about "+getWordMathwhatserror1()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="zero" || word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen" || word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="twenty-one" || word[3]=="twenty-two" || word[3]=="twenty-three" || word[3]=="twenty-four" || word[3]=="twenty-five" || word[3]=="twenty-six" || word[3]=="twenty-seven" || word[3]=="twenty-eight" || word[3]=="twenty-nine" || word[3]=="thirty-one" || word[3]=="thirty-two" || word[3]=="thirty-three" || word[3]=="thirty-four" || word[3]=="thirty-five" || word[3]=="thirty-six" || word[3]=="thirty-seven" || word[3]=="thirty-eight" || word[3]=="thirty-nine" || word[3]=="forty-one" || word[3]=="forty-two" || word[3]=="forty-three" || word[3]=="forty-four" || word[3]=="forty-five" || word[3]=="forty-six" || word[3]=="forty-seven" || word[3]=="forty-eight" || word[3]=="forty-nine" || word[3]=="fifty-one" || word[3]=="fifty-two" || word[3]=="fifty-three" || word[3]=="fifty-four" || word[3]=="fifty-five" || word[3]=="fifty-six" || word[3]=="fifty-seven" || word[3]=="fifty-eight" || word[3]=="fifty-nine" || word[3]=="sixty-one" || word[3]=="sixty-two" || word[3]=="sixty-three" || word[3]=="sixty-four" || word[3]=="sixty-five" || word[3]=="sixty-six" || word[3]=="sixty-seven" || word[3]=="sixty-eight" || word[3]=="sixty-nine" || word[3]=="seventy-one" || word[3]=="seventy-two" || word[3]=="seventy-three" || word[3]=="seventy-four" || word[3]=="seventy-five" || word[3]=="seventy-six" || word[3]=="seventy-seven" || word[3]=="seventy-eight" || word[3]=="seventy-nine" || word[3]=="eighty-one" || word[3]=="eighty-two" || word[3]=="eighty-three" || word[3]=="eighty-four" || word[3]=="eighty-five" || word[3]=="eighty-six" || word[3]=="eighty-seven" || word[3]=="eighty-eight" || word[3]=="eighty-nine" || word[3]=="ninety-one" || word[3]=="ninety-two" || word[3]=="ninety-three" || word[3]=="ninety-four" || word[3]=="ninety-five" || word[3]=="ninety-six" || word[3]=="ninety-seven" || word[3]=="ninety-eight" || word[3]=="ninety-nine") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="x" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==6)) 
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordMathwhatserror2()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="twenty-one" || word[1]=="twenty-two" || word[1]=="twenty-three" || word[1]=="twenty-four" || word[1]=="twenty-five" || word[1]=="twenty-six" || word[1]=="twenty-seven" || word[1]=="twenty-eight" || word[1]=="twenty-nine" || word[1]=="thirty-one" || word[1]=="thirty-two" || word[1]=="thirty-three" || word[1]=="thirty-four" || word[1]=="thirty-five" || word[1]=="thirty-six" || word[1]=="thirty-seven" || word[1]=="thirty-eight" || word[1]=="thirty-nine" || word[1]=="forty-one" || word[1]=="forty-two" || word[1]=="forty-three" || word[1]=="forty-four" || word[1]=="forty-five" || word[1]=="forty-six" || word[1]=="forty-seven" || word[1]=="forty-eight" || word[1]=="forty-nine" || word[1]=="fifty-one" || word[1]=="fifty-two" || word[1]=="fifty-three" || word[1]=="fifty-four" || word[1]=="fifty-five" || word[1]=="fifty-six" || word[1]=="fifty-seven" || word[1]=="fifty-eight" || word[1]=="fifty-nine" || word[1]=="sixty-one" || word[1]=="sixty-two" || word[1]=="sixty-three" || word[1]=="sixty-four" || word[1]=="sixty-five" || word[1]=="sixty-six" || word[1]=="sixty-seven" || word[1]=="sixty-eight" || word[1]=="sixty-nine" || word[1]=="seventy-one" || word[1]=="seventy-two" || word[1]=="seventy-three" || word[1]=="seventy-four" || word[1]=="seventy-five" || word[1]=="seventy-six" || word[1]=="seventy-seven" || word[1]=="seventy-eight" || word[1]=="seventy-nine" ||  word[1]=="eighty-one" || word[1]=="eighty-two" || word[1]=="eighty-three" || word[1]=="eighty-four" || word[1]=="eighty-five" || word[1]=="eighty-six" || word[1]=="eighty-seven" || word[1]=="eighty-eight" || word[1]=="eighty-nine" ||word[1]=="ninety-one" || word[1]=="ninety-two" || word[1]=="ninety-three" || word[1]=="ninety-four" || word[1]=="ninety-five" || word[1]=="ninety-six" || word[1]=="ninety-seven" || word[1]=="ninety-eight" || word[1]=="ninety-nine") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="zero" || word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="eleven" || word[3]=="twelve" || word[3]=="thirteen" || word[3]=="fourteen" || word[3]=="fifteen" || word[3]=="sixteen" || word[3]=="seventeen" || word[3]=="eighteen" || word[3]=="nineteen" || word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="x" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==6)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I never liked math too much but how about "+getWordMathwhatserror3()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="twenty-one" || word[1]=="twenty-two" || word[1]=="twenty-three" || word[1]=="twenty-four" || word[1]=="twenty-five" || word[1]=="twenty-six" || word[1]=="twenty-seven" || word[1]=="twenty-eight" || word[1]=="twenty-nine" || word[1]=="thirty-one" || word[1]=="thirty-two" || word[1]=="thirty-three" || word[1]=="thirty-four" || word[1]=="thirty-five" || word[1]=="thirty-six" || word[1]=="thirty-seven" || word[1]=="thirty-eight" || word[1]=="thirty-nine" || word[1]=="forty-one" || word[1]=="forty-two" || word[1]=="forty-three" || word[1]=="forty-four" || word[1]=="forty-five" || word[1]=="forty-six" || word[1]=="forty-seven" || word[1]=="forty-eight" || word[1]=="forty-nine" || word[1]=="fifty-one" || word[1]=="fifty-two" || word[1]=="fifty-three" || word[1]=="fifty-four" || word[1]=="fifty-five" || word[1]=="fifty-six" || word[1]=="fifty-seven" || word[1]=="fifty-eight" || word[1]=="fifty-nine" || word[1]=="sixty-one" || word[1]=="sixty-two" || word[1]=="sixty-three" || word[1]=="sixty-four" || word[1]=="sixty-five" || word[1]=="sixty-six" || word[1]=="sixty-seven" || word[1]=="sixty-eight" || word[1]=="sixty-nine" || word[1]=="seventy-one" || word[1]=="seventy-two" || word[1]=="seventy-three" || word[1]=="seventy-four" || word[1]=="seventy-five" || word[1]=="seventy-six" || word[1]=="seventy-seven" || word[1]=="seventy-eight" || word[1]=="seventy-nine" || word[1]=="eighty-one" || word[1]=="eighty-two" || word[1]=="eighty-three" || word[1]=="eighty-four" || word[1]=="eighty-five" || word[1]=="eighty-six" || word[1]=="eighty-seven" || word[1]=="eighty-eight" || word[1]=="eighty-nine" ||word[1]=="ninety-one" || word[1]=="ninety-two" || word[1]=="ninety-three" || word[1]=="ninety-four" || word[1]=="ninety-five" || word[1]=="ninety-six" || word[1]=="ninety-seven" || word[1]=="ninety-eight" || word[1]=="ninety-nine") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="twenty-one" || word[3]=="twenty-two" || word[3]=="twenty-three" || word[3]=="twenty-four" || word[3]=="twenty-five" || word[3]=="twenty-six" || word[3]=="twenty-seven" || word[3]=="twenty-eight" || word[3]=="twenty-nine" || word[3]=="thirty-one" || word[3]=="thirty-two" || word[3]=="thirty-three" || word[3]=="thirty-four" || word[3]=="thirty-five" || word[3]=="thirty-six" || word[3]=="thirty-seven" || word[3]=="thirty-eight" || word[3]=="thirty-nine" || word[3]=="forty-one" || word[3]=="forty-two" || word[3]=="forty-three" || word[3]=="forty-four" || word[3]=="forty-five" || word[3]=="forty-six" || word[3]=="forty-seven" || word[3]=="forty-eight" || word[3]=="forty-nine" || word[3]=="fifty-one" || word[3]=="fifty-two" || word[3]=="fifty-three" || word[3]=="fifty-four" || word[3]=="fifty-five" || word[3]=="fifty-six" || word[3]=="fifty-seven" || word[3]=="fifty-eight" || word[3]=="fifty-nine" || word[3]=="sixty-one" || word[3]=="sixty-two" || word[3]=="sixty-three" || word[3]=="sixty-four" || word[3]=="sixty-five" || word[3]=="sixty-six" || word[3]=="sixty-seven" || word[3]=="sixty-eight" || word[3]=="sixty-nine" || word[3]=="seventy-one" || word[3]=="seventy-two" || word[3]=="seventy-three" || word[3]=="seventy-four" || word[3]=="seventy-five" || word[3]=="seventy-six" || word[3]=="seventy-seven" || word[3]=="seventy-eight" || word[3]=="seventy-nine" || word[3]=="eighty-one" || word[3]=="eighty-two" || word[3]=="eighty-three" || word[3]=="eighty-four" || word[3]=="eighty-five" || word[3]=="eighty-six" || word[3]=="eighty-seven" || word[3]=="eighty-eight" || word[3]=="eighty-nine" || word[3]=="ninety-one" || word[3]=="ninety-two" || word[3]=="ninety-three" || word[3]=="ninety-four" || word[3]=="ninety-five" || word[3]=="ninety-six" || word[3]=="ninety-seven" || word[3]=="ninety-eight" || word[3]=="ninety-nine") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="x" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==6)) 
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordMathwhatserror4()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="zero" || word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen" || word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="twenty-one" || word[3]=="twenty-two" || word[3]=="twenty-three" || word[3]=="twenty-four" || word[3]=="twenty-five" || word[3]=="twenty-six" || word[3]=="twenty-seven" || word[3]=="twenty-eight" || word[3]=="twenty-nine" || word[3]=="thirty-one" || word[3]=="thirty-two" || word[3]=="thirty-three" || word[3]=="thirty-four" || word[3]=="thirty-five" || word[3]=="thirty-six" || word[3]=="thirty-seven" || word[3]=="thirty-eight" || word[3]=="thirty-nine" || word[3]=="forty-one" || word[3]=="forty-two" || word[3]=="forty-three" || word[3]=="forty-four" || word[3]=="forty-five" || word[3]=="forty-six" || word[3]=="forty-seven" || word[3]=="forty-eight" || word[3]=="forty-nine" || word[3]=="fifty-one" || word[3]=="fifty-two" || word[3]=="fifty-three" || word[3]=="fifty-four" || word[3]=="fifty-five" || word[3]=="fifty-six" || word[3]=="fifty-seven" || word[3]=="fifty-eight" || word[3]=="fifty-nine" || word[3]=="sixty-one" || word[3]=="sixty-two" || word[3]=="sixty-three" || word[3]=="sixty-four" || word[3]=="sixty-five" || word[3]=="sixty-six" || word[3]=="sixty-seven" || word[3]=="sixty-eight" || word[3]=="sixty-nine" || word[3]=="seventy-one" || word[3]=="seventy-two" || word[3]=="seventy-three" || word[3]=="seventy-four" || word[3]=="seventy-five" || word[3]=="seventy-six" || word[3]=="seventy-seven" || word[3]=="seventy-eight" || word[3]=="seventy-nine" || word[3]=="eighty-one" || word[3]=="eighty-two" || word[3]=="eighty-three" || word[3]=="eighty-four" || word[3]=="eighty-five" || word[3]=="eighty-six" || word[3]=="eighty-seven" || word[3]=="eighty-eight" || word[3]=="eighty-nine" || word[3]=="ninety-one" || word[3]=="ninety-two" || word[3]=="ninety-three" || word[3]=="ninety-four" || word[3]=="ninety-five" || word[3]=="ninety-six" || word[3]=="ninety-seven" || word[3]=="ninety-eight" || word[3]=="ninety-nine") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="x" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply") && (word[5]=="twenty-one" || word[5]=="twenty-two" || word[5]=="twenty-three" || word[5]=="twenty-four" || word[5]=="twenty-five" || word[5]=="twenty-six" || word[5]=="twenty-seven" || word[5]=="twenty-eight" || word[5]=="twenty-nine" || word[5]=="thirty-one" || word[5]=="thirty-two" || word[5]=="thirty-three" || word[5]=="thirty-four" || word[5]=="thirty-five" || word[5]=="thirty-six" || word[5]=="thirty-seven" || word[5]=="thirty-eight" || word[5]=="thirty-nine" || word[5]=="forty-one" || word[5]=="forty-two" || word[5]=="forty-three" || word[5]=="forty-four" || word[5]=="forty-five" || word[5]=="forty-six" || word[5]=="forty-seven" || word[5]=="forty-eight" || word[5]=="forty-nine" || word[5]=="fifty-one" || word[5]=="fifty-two" || word[5]=="fifty-three" || word[5]=="fifty-four" || word[5]=="fifty-five" || word[5]=="fifty-six" || word[5]=="fifty-seven" || word[5]=="fifty-eight" || word[5]=="fifty-nine" || word[5]=="sixty-one" || word[5]=="sixty-two" || word[5]=="sixty-three" || word[5]=="sixty-four" || word[5]=="sixty-five" || word[5]=="sixty-six" || word[5]=="sixty-seven" || word[5]=="sixty-eight" || word[5]=="sixty-nine" || word[5]=="seventy-one" || word[5]=="seventy-two" || word[5]=="seventy-three" || word[5]=="seventy-four" || word[5]=="seventy-five" || word[5]=="seventy-six" || word[5]=="seventy-seven" || word[5]=="seventy-eight" || word[5]=="seventy-nine" || word[5]=="eighty-one" || word[5]=="eighty-two" || word[5]=="eighty-three" || word[5]=="eighty-four" || word[5]=="eighty-five" || word[5]=="eighty-six" || word[5]=="eighty-seven" || word[5]=="eighty-eight" || word[5]=="eighty-nine" || word[5]=="ninety-one" || word[5]=="ninety-two" || word[5]=="ninety-three" || word[5]=="ninety-four" || word[5]=="ninety-five" || word[5]=="ninety-six" || word[5]=="ninety-seven" || word[5]=="ninety-eight" || word[5]=="ninety-nine") && (num_of_words==6)) 
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordMathwhatserror5()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="twenty-one" || word[1]=="twenty-two" || word[1]=="twenty-three" || word[1]=="twenty-four" || word[1]=="twenty-five" || word[1]=="twenty-six" || word[1]=="twenty-seven" || word[1]=="twenty-eight" || word[1]=="twenty-nine" || word[1]=="thirty-one" || word[1]=="thirty-two" || word[1]=="thirty-three" || word[1]=="thirty-four" || word[1]=="thirty-five" || word[1]=="thirty-six" || word[1]=="thirty-seven" || word[1]=="thirty-eight" || word[1]=="thirty-nine" || word[1]=="forty-one" || word[1]=="forty-two" || word[1]=="forty-three" || word[1]=="forty-four" || word[1]=="forty-five" || word[1]=="forty-six" || word[1]=="forty-seven" || word[1]=="forty-eight" || word[1]=="forty-nine" || word[1]=="fifty-one" || word[1]=="fifty-two" || word[1]=="fifty-three" || word[1]=="fifty-four" || word[1]=="fifty-five" || word[1]=="fifty-six" || word[1]=="fifty-seven" || word[1]=="fifty-eight" || word[1]=="fifty-nine" || word[1]=="sixty-one" || word[1]=="sixty-two" || word[1]=="sixty-three" || word[1]=="sixty-four" || word[1]=="sixty-five" || word[1]=="sixty-six" || word[1]=="sixty-seven" || word[1]=="sixty-eight" || word[1]=="sixty-nine" || word[1]=="seventy-one" || word[1]=="seventy-two" || word[1]=="seventy-three" || word[1]=="seventy-four" || word[1]=="seventy-five" || word[1]=="seventy-six" || word[1]=="seventy-seven" || word[1]=="seventy-eight" || word[1]=="seventy-nine" || word[1]=="eighty-one" || word[1]=="eighty-two" || word[1]=="eighty-three" || word[1]=="eighty-four" || word[1]=="eighty-five" ||word[1]=="eighty-six" || word[1]=="eighty-seven" || word[1]=="eighty-eight" || word[1]=="eighty-nine" || word[1]=="ninety-one" || word[1]=="ninety-two" || word[1]=="ninety-three" || word[1]=="ninety-four" || word[1]=="ninety-five" || word[1]=="ninety-six" || word[1]=="ninety-seven" || word[1]=="ninety-eight" || word[1]=="ninety-nine") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="twenty-one" || word[3]=="twenty-two" || word[3]=="twenty-three" || word[3]=="twenty-four" || word[3]=="twenty-five" || word[3]=="twenty-six" || word[3]=="twenty-seven" || word[3]=="twenty-eight" || word[3]=="twenty-nine" || word[3]=="thirty-one" || word[3]=="thirty-two" || word[3]=="thirty-three" || word[3]=="thirty-four" || word[3]=="thirty-five" || word[3]=="thirty-six" || word[3]=="thirty-seven" || word[3]=="thirty-eight" || word[3]=="thirty-nine" || word[3]=="forty-one" || word[3]=="forty-two" || word[3]=="forty-three" || word[3]=="forty-four" || word[3]=="forty-five" || word[3]=="forty-six" || word[3]=="forty-seven" || word[3]=="forty-eight" || word[3]=="forty-nine" || word[3]=="fifty-one" || word[3]=="fifty-two" || word[3]=="fifty-three" || word[3]=="fifty-four" || word[3]=="fifty-five" || word[3]=="fifty-six" || word[3]=="fifty-seven" || word[3]=="fifty-eight" || word[3]=="fifty-nine" || word[3]=="sixty-one" || word[3]=="sixty-two" || word[3]=="sixty-three" || word[3]=="sixty-four" || word[3]=="sixty-five" || word[3]=="sixty-six" || word[3]=="sixty-seven" || word[3]=="sixty-eight" || word[3]=="sixty-nine" || word[3]=="seventy-one" || word[3]=="seventy-two" || word[3]=="seventy-three" || word[3]=="seventy-four" || word[3]=="seventy-five" || word[3]=="seventy-six" || word[3]=="seventy-seven" || word[3]=="seventy-eight" || word[3]=="seventy-nine" || word[3]=="eighty-one" || word[3]=="eighty-two" || word[3]=="eighty-three" || word[3]=="eighty-four" || word[3]=="eighty-five" || word[3]=="eighty-six" || word[3]=="eighty-seven" || word[3]=="eighty-eight" || word[3]=="eighty-nine" || word[3]=="ninety-one" || word[3]=="ninety-two" || word[3]=="ninety-three" || word[3]=="ninety-four" || word[3]=="ninety-five" || word[3]=="ninety-six" || word[3]=="ninety-seven" || word[3]=="ninety-eight" || word[3]=="ninety-nine") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="x" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply") && (word[5]=="twenty-one" || word[5]=="twenty-two" || word[5]=="twenty-three" || word[5]=="twenty-four" || word[5]=="twenty-five" || word[5]=="twenty-six" || word[5]=="twenty-seven" || word[5]=="twenty-eight" || word[5]=="twenty-nine" || word[5]=="thirty-one" || word[5]=="thirty-two" || word[5]=="thirty-three" || word[5]=="thirty-four" || word[5]=="thirty-five" || word[5]=="thirty-six" || word[5]=="thirty-seven" || word[5]=="thirty-eight" || word[5]=="thirty-nine" || word[5]=="forty-one" || word[5]=="forty-two" || word[5]=="forty-three" || word[5]=="forty-four" || word[5]=="forty-five" || word[5]=="forty-six" || word[5]=="forty-seven" || word[5]=="forty-eight" || word[5]=="forty-nine" || word[5]=="fifty-one" || word[5]=="fifty-two" || word[5]=="fifty-three" || word[5]=="fifty-four" || word[5]=="fifty-five" || word[5]=="fifty-six" || word[5]=="fifty-seven" || word[5]=="fifty-eight" || word[5]=="fifty-nine" || word[5]=="sixty-one" || word[5]=="sixty-two" || word[5]=="sixty-three" || word[5]=="sixty-four" || word[5]=="sixty-five" || word[5]=="sixty-six" || word[5]=="sixty-seven" || word[5]=="sixty-eight" || word[5]=="sixty-nine" || word[5]=="seventy-one" || word[5]=="seventy-two" || word[5]=="seventy-three" || word[5]=="seventy-four" || word[5]=="seventy-five" || word[5]=="seventy-six" || word[5]=="seventy-seven" || word[5]=="seventy-eight" || word[5]=="seventy-nine" || word[5]=="eighty-one" || word[5]=="eighty-two" || word[5]=="eighty-three" || word[5]=="eighty-four" || word[5]=="eighty-five" || word[5]=="eighty-six" || word[5]=="eighty-seven" || word[5]=="eighty-eight" || word[5]=="eighty-nine" || word[5]=="ninety-one" || word[5]=="ninety-two" || word[5]=="ninety-three" || word[5]=="ninety-four" || word[5]=="ninety-five" || word[5]=="ninety-six" || word[5]=="ninety-seven" || word[5]=="ninety-eight" || word[5]=="ninety-nine") && (num_of_words==6)) 
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordMathwhatserror6()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the first letter in the word")!= -1)   {  
var firstletter = input.match(/the first letter in the word (\S+)/i);
var firstletter = firstletter[1];
document.result.result.value = "The first letter in "+firstletter+" would be "+firstletter.charAt(0)+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the second letter in the word")!= -1)      
{var secondletter = input.match(/the second letter in the word (\S+)/i);
var secondletter = secondletter[1];
document.result.result.value = "The second letter in "+secondletter+" would be "+secondletter.charAt(1)+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the third letter in the word")!= -1)      
{var thirdletter = input.match(/the third letter in the word (\S+)/i);
var thirdletter = thirdletter[1];
document.result.result.value = "The third letter in "+thirdletter+" would be "+thirdletter.charAt(2)+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the fourth letter in the word")!= -1)      
{var fourthletter = input.match(/the fourth letter in the word (\S+)/i);
var fourthletter = fourthletter[1];
document.result.result.value = "The fourth letter in "+fourthletter+" would be "+fourthletter.charAt(3)+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="spell") && (word[3].length == 3) && ((word[4]=="backwards") || (word[4]=="in" && word[5]=="reverse"))) 
{var reverse = (word[3].charAt(2) +  word[3].charAt(1) + word[3].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="spell") && (word[3].length == 4) && ((word[4]=="backwards") || (word[4]=="in" && word[5]=="reverse")))
{var reverse = (word[3].charAt(3) + word[3].charAt(2) +  word[3].charAt(1) + word[3].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="spell") && (word[3].length == 5) && ((word[4]=="backwards") || (word[4]=="in" && word[5]=="reverse")))
{var reverse = (word[3].charAt(4) + word[3].charAt(3) +  word[3].charAt(2) + word[3].charAt(1) + word[3].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="spell") && (word[3].length == 6) && ((word[4]=="backwards") || (word[4]=="in" && word[5]=="reverse")))
{var reverse = (word[3].charAt(5) + word[3].charAt(4) + word[3].charAt(3) + word[3].charAt(2) + word[3].charAt(1) + word[3].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="spell") && (word[3].length == 7) && ((word[4]=="backwards") || (word[4]=="in" && word[5]=="reverse")))
{var reverse = (word[3].charAt(6) + word[3].charAt(5) + word[3].charAt(4) + word[3].charAt(3) + word[3].charAt(2) + word[3].charAt(1) + word[3].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="spell") && (word[3].length == 8) && ((word[4]=="backwards") || (word[4]=="in" && word[5]=="reverse")))
{var reverse = (word[3].charAt(7) + word[3].charAt(6) + word[3].charAt(5) + word[3].charAt(4) + word[3].charAt(3) + word[3].charAt(2) + word[3].charAt(1) + word[3].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="spell") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="word") && (word[3].length == 3) && ((word[4]=="backwards") || (word[4]=="in" && word[5]=="reverse"))) 
{var reverse = (word[3].charAt(2) +  word[3].charAt(1) + word[3].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="spell") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="word") && (word[3].length == 4) && ((word[4]=="backwards") || (word[4]=="in" && word[5]=="reverse")))  
{var reverse = (word[3].charAt(3) + word[3].charAt(2) +  word[3].charAt(1) + word[3].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="spell") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="word") && (word[3].length == 5) && ((word[4]=="backwards") || (word[4]=="in" && word[5]=="reverse")))
{var reverse = (word[3].charAt(4) + word[3].charAt(3) +  word[3].charAt(2) + word[3].charAt(1) + word[3].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="spell") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="word") && (word[3].length == 6) && ((word[4]=="backwards") || (word[4]=="in" && word[5]=="reverse")))
{var reverse = (word[3].charAt(5) + word[3].charAt(4) + word[3].charAt(3) + word[3].charAt(2) + word[3].charAt(1) + word[3].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="spell") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="word") && (word[3].length == 7) && ((word[4]=="backwards") || (word[4]=="in" && word[5]=="reverse")))
{var reverse = (word[3].charAt(6) + word[3].charAt(5) + word[3].charAt(4) + word[3].charAt(3) + word[3].charAt(2) + word[3].charAt(1) + word[3].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="spell") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="word") && (word[3].length == 8) && ((word[4]=="backwards") || (word[4]=="in" && word[5]=="reverse")))
{var reverse = (word[3].charAt(7) + word[3].charAt(6) + word[3].charAt(5) + word[3].charAt(4) + word[3].charAt(3) + word[3].charAt(2) + word[3].charAt(1) + word[3].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="spell") && (word[1].length == 3) && ((word[2]=="backwards") || (word[2]=="in" && word[3]=="reverse"))) 
{var reverse = (word[1].charAt(2) +  word[1].charAt(1) + word[1].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="spell") && (word[1].length == 4) && ((word[2]=="backwards") || (word[2]=="in" && word[3]=="reverse")))  
{var reverse = (word[1].charAt(3) + word[1].charAt(2) +  word[1].charAt(1) + word[1].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="spell") && (word[1].length == 5) && ((word[2]=="backwards") || (word[2]=="in" && word[3]=="reverse")))
{var reverse = (word[1].charAt(4) + word[1].charAt(3) +  word[1].charAt(2) + word[1].charAt(1) + word[1].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="spell") && (word[1].length == 6) && ((word[2]=="backwards") || (word[2]=="in" && word[3]=="reverse")))
{var reverse = (word[1].charAt(5) + word[1].charAt(4) + word[1].charAt(3) + word[1].charAt(2) + word[1].charAt(1) + word[1].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="spell") && (word[1].length == 7) && ((word[2]=="backwards") || (word[2]=="in" && word[3]=="reverse")))
{var reverse = (word[1].charAt(6) + word[1].charAt(5) + word[1].charAt(4) + word[1].charAt(3) + word[1].charAt(2) + word[1].charAt(1) + word[1].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="spell") && (word[1].length == 8) && ((word[2]=="backwards") || (word[2]=="in" && word[3]=="reverse")))
{var reverse = (word[1].charAt(7) + word[1].charAt(6) + word[1].charAt(5) + word[1].charAt(4) + word[1].charAt(3) + word[1].charAt(2) + word[1].charAt(1) + word[1].charAt(0))
document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about this "+reverse+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[2].charAt(5)=="+") && (word[2].charAt(8)=="=") && (word[2].length == 9) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getAdd24()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[2].charAt(5)=="+") && (word[2].length == 8) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getAdd24()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[1].charAt(5)=="+") && (word[1].charAt(8)=="=") && (word[1].length == 9) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getAdd23()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[1].charAt(5)=="+") && (word[1].length == 8) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getAdd23()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(1)=="+") && (word[2].charAt(3)=="+") && (word[2].charAt(5)=="=") && (word[2].length == 6) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getAdd22()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(1)=="+") && (word[2].charAt(3)=="+") && (word[2].length == 5) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getAdd22()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(1)=="+") && (word[1].charAt(3)=="+") && (word[1].charAt(5)=="=") && (word[1].length == 6) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getAdd21()+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(1)=="+") && (word[1].charAt(3)=="+") && (word[1].length == 5) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getAdd21()+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="-") && (word[2].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[2].charAt(8)=="=") && (word[2].length == 9) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMinus24()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="-") && (word[2].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[2].length == 8) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMinus24()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="-") && (word[1].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[1].charAt(8)=="=") && (word[1].length == 9) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMinus23()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="-") && (word[1].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[1].length == 8) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMinus23()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(1)=="-") && (word[2].charAt(3)=="-") && (word[2].charAt(5)=="=") && (word[2].length == 6) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMinus22()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(1)=="-") && (word[2].charAt(3)=="-") && (word[2].length == 5) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMinus22()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(1)=="-") && (word[1].charAt(3)=="-") && (word[1].charAt(5)=="=") && (word[1].length == 6) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMinus21()+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(1)=="-") && (word[1].charAt(3)=="-") && (word[1].length == 5) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMinus21()+" perhaps?";  
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="x" || word[2].charAt(2)=="*") && (word[2].charAt(5)=="x" || word[2].charAt(5)=="*") && (word[2].charAt(8)=="=") && (word[2].length == 9) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMultiply24()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="x" || word[2].charAt(2)=="*") && (word[2].charAt(5)=="x" || word[2].charAt(5)=="*") && (word[2].length == 8) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMultiply24()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="x" || word[1].charAt(2)=="*") && (word[1].charAt(5)=="x" || word[1].charAt(5)=="*") && (word[1].charAt(8)=="=") && (word[1].length == 9) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMultiply23()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="x" || word[1].charAt(2)=="*") && (word[1].charAt(5)=="x" || word[1].charAt(5)=="*") && (word[1].length == 8) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMultiply23()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(1)=="x" || word[2].charAt(1)=="*") && (word[2].charAt(3)=="x" || word[2].charAt(3)=="*") && (word[2].charAt(5)=="=") && (word[2].length == 6) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMultiply22()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(1)=="x" || word[2].charAt(1)=="*") && (word[2].charAt(3)=="x" || word[2].charAt(3)=="*") && (word[2].length == 5) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMultiply22()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(1)=="x" || word[1].charAt(1)=="*") && (word[1].charAt(3)=="x" || word[1].charAt(3)=="*") && (word[1].charAt(5)=="=") && (word[1].length == 6) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMultiply21()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(1)=="x" || word[1].charAt(1)=="*") && (word[1].charAt(3)=="x" || word[1].charAt(3)=="*") && (word[1].length == 5) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getMultiply21()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[0].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[0].length == 8) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix1()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[0].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[0].length == 7) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix1A()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[0].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[0].length == 7) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix1B()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(1)=="+") && (word[0].charAt(3)=="-") && (word[0].length == 5) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix1C()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(1)=="+") && (word[0].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[0].length == 6) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix1D()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[0].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[0].length == 6) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix1E()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="*" || word[0].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[0].charAt(5)=="+") && (word[0].length == 8) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix2()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="*" || word[0].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[0].charAt(5)=="+") && (word[0].length == 7) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix2A()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="*" || word[0].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[0].charAt(4)=="+") && (word[0].length == 7) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix2B()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(1)=="*" || word[0].charAt(1)=="x") && (word[0].charAt(3)=="+") && (word[0].length == 5) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix2C()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(1)=="*" || word[0].charAt(1)=="x") && (word[0].charAt(4)=="+") && (word[0].length == 6) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix2D()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="*" || word[0].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[0].charAt(4)=="+") && (word[0].length == 6) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix2E()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="*" || word[0].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[0].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[0].length == 8) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix3()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="*" || word[0].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[0].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[0].length == 7) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix3A()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="*" || word[0].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[0].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[0].length == 7) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix3B()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(1)=="*" || word[0].charAt(1)=="x") && (word[0].charAt(3)=="-") && (word[0].length == 5) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix3C()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(1)=="*" || word[0].charAt(1)=="x") && (word[0].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[0].length == 6) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix3D()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="*" || word[0].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[0].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[0].length == 6) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix3E()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[2].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[2].length == 8) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix4()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[2].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[2].length == 7) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix4A()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[2].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[2].length == 7) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix4B()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(1)=="+") && (word[2].charAt(3)=="-") && (word[2].length == 5) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix4C()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(1)=="+") && (word[2].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[2].length == 6) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix4D()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") &&  (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[2].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[2].length == 6) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix4E()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="*" || word[2].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[2].charAt(5)=="+") && (word[2].length == 8) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix5()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="*" || word[2].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[2].charAt(5)=="+") && (word[2].length == 7) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix5A()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="*" || word[2].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[2].charAt(4)=="+") && (word[2].length == 7) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix5B()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(1)=="*" || word[2].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[2].charAt(3)=="+") && (word[2].length == 5) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix5C()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(1)=="*" || word[2].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[2].charAt(4)=="+") && (word[2].length == 6) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix5D()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") &&  (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="*" || word[2].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[2].charAt(4)=="+") && (word[2].length == 6) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix5E()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="*" || word[2].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[2].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[2].length == 8) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix6()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="*" || word[2].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[2].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[2].length == 7) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix6A()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="*" || word[2].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[2].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[2].length == 7) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix6B()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(1)=="*" || word[2].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[2].charAt(3)=="-") && (word[2].length == 5) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix6C()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(1)=="*" || word[2].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[2].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[2].length == 6) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix6D()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2].charAt(2)=="*" || word[2].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[2].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[2].length == 6) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix6E()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[1].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[1].length == 8) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix7()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[1].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[1].length == 7) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix7A()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[1].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[1].length == 7) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix7B()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(1)=="+") && (word[1].charAt(3)=="-") && (word[1].length == 5) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix7C()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(1)=="+") && (word[1].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[1].length == 6) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix7D()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[1].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[1].length == 6) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix7E()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="*" || word[1].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[1].charAt(5)=="+") && (word[1].length == 8) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix8()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="*" || word[1].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[1].charAt(5)=="+") && (word[1].length == 7) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix8A()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="*" || word[1].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[1].charAt(4)=="+") && (word[1].length == 7) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix8B()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(1)=="*" || word[1].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[1].charAt(3)=="+") && (word[1].length == 5) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix8C()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(1)=="*" || word[1].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[1].charAt(4)=="+") && (word[1].length == 6) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix8D()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="*" || word[1].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[1].charAt(4)=="+") && (word[1].length == 6) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix8E()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="*" || word[1].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[1].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[1].length == 8) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix9()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="*" || word[1].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[1].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[1].length == 7) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix9A()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="*" || word[1].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[1].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[1].length == 7) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix9B()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(1)=="*" || word[1].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[1].charAt(3)=="-") && (word[1].length == 5) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix9C()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(1)=="*" || word[1].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[1].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[1].length == 6) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix9D()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1].charAt(2)=="*" || word[1].charAt(2)=="x") && (word[1].charAt(4)=="-") && (word[1].length == 6) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+getMix9E()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[0].charAt(5)=="+") && (word[0].charAt(8)=="=") && (input.length == 9) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getAdd15()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[0].charAt(5)=="+") && (input.length == 8) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getAdd15()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[0].charAt(5)=="=") && (input.length == 6) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getAdd16()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="+") && (word[0].charAt(4)=="=") && (input.length == 5) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getAdd17()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(1)=="+") && (word[0].charAt(4)=="=") && (input.length == 5) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getAdd18()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(1)=="+") && (word[0].charAt(3)=="=") && (input.length == 4) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getAdd19()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(1)=="+") && (word[0].charAt(3)=="+") && (input.length == 5) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getAdd20()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="-") && (word[0].charAt(5)=="-") && (word[0].charAt(8)=="=") && (input.length == 9) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getMinus15()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="-") && (word[0].charAt(5)=="-") && (input.length == 8) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getMinus15()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="-") && (word[0].charAt(5)=="=") && (input.length == 6) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getMinus16()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="-") && (word[0].charAt(4)=="=") && (input.length == 5) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getMinus17()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(1)=="-") && (word[0].charAt(4)=="=") && (input.length == 5) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getMinus18()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(1)=="-") && (word[0].charAt(3)=="=") && (input.length == 4) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getMinus19()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(1)=="-") && (word[0].charAt(3)=="-") && (input.length == 5) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getMinus20()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bxxxxx\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I have no idea what a bunch of xxxxx's mean"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="x" || word[0].charAt(2)=="*") && (word[0].charAt(5)=="x" || word[0].charAt(5)=="*") && (word[0].charAt(8)=="=") && (input.length == 9) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getMultiply15()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="x" || word[0].charAt(2)=="*") && (word[0].charAt(5)=="x" || word[0].charAt(5)=="*") && (input.length == 8) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getMultiply15()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="x" || word[0].charAt(2)=="*") && (word[0].charAt(5)=="=") && (input.length == 6) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getMultiply16()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(2)=="x" || word[0].charAt(2)=="*") && (word[0].charAt(4)=="=") && (input.length == 5) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getMultiply17()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(1)=="x" || word[0].charAt(1)=="*") && (word[0].charAt(4)=="=") && (input.length == 5) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getMultiply18()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(1)=="x" || word[0].charAt(1)=="*") && (word[0].charAt(3)=="=") && (input.length == 4) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getMultiply19()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[0].charAt(1)=="x" || word[0].charAt(1)=="*") && (word[0].charAt(3)=="x" || word[0].charAt(3)=="*") && (input.length == 5) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, "+getMultiply20()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\b([0-9]{1,4}|10000)\b/)) && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="minus" || word[1]=="less" || word[1]=="subtract" || word[1]=="x" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="multiply" || word[1]=="time" || word[1]=="times") && (word[2].match(/\b([0-9]{1,4}|10000)\b/)) && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="multiply" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="times") && (word[4].match(/\b([0-9]{1,4}|10000)\b/)) && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'll give it a shot and say "+math1()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2].match(/\b([0-9]{1,4}|10000)\b/)) && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="multiply" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="times") && (word[4].match(/\b([0-9]{1,4}|10000)\b/)) && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="add" || word[5]=="plus" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="minus" || word[5]=="less" || word[5]=="subtract" || word[5]=="x" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="multiply" || word[5]=="time" || word[5]=="times") && (word[6].match(/\b([0-9]{1,4}|10000)\b/)) && (num_of_words==7))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yuck math! Hmmm "+math2()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1].match(/\b([0-9]{1,4}|10000)\b/)) && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="multiply" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="times") && (word[3].match(/\b([0-9]{1,4}|10000)\b/)) && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="x" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="multiply" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="times") && (word[5].match(/\b([0-9]{1,4}|10000)\b/)) && (num_of_words==6))     
{document.result.result.value = "I don't like math. Hmmm "+math3()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="zero" || word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen" || word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="zero" || word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="eleven" || word[3]=="twelve" || word[3]=="thirteen" || word[3]=="fourteen" || word[3]=="fifteen" || word[3]=="sixteen" || word[3]=="seventeen" || word[3]=="eighteen" || word[3]=="nineteen" || word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="x" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply") && (word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine") && (num_of_words==7))         
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordMathwhats1()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="zero" || word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen" || word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine") && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="plus" || word[5]=="add" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="minus" || word[5]=="subtract" || word[5]=="less" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="^" || word[5]=="time" || word[5]=="x" || word[5]=="times" || word[5]=="multiply") && (word[6]=="zero" || word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine" || word[6]=="ten" || word[6]=="eleven" || word[6]=="twelve" || word[6]=="thirteen" || word[6]=="fourteen" || word[6]=="fifteen" || word[6]=="sixteen" || word[6]=="seventeen" || word[6]=="eighteen" || word[6]=="nineteen" || word[6]=="twenty" || word[6]=="thirty" || word[6]=="forty" || word[6]=="fifty" || word[6]=="sixty" || word[6]=="seventy" || word[6]=="eighty" || word[6]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==7))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not a mathematician but how about "+getWordMathwhats2()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="plus" || word[5]=="add" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="minus" || word[5]=="subtract" || word[5]=="less" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="^" || word[5]=="time" || word[5]=="x" || word[5]=="times" || word[5]=="multiply") && (word[6]=="zero" || word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine" || word[6]=="ten" || word[6]=="eleven" || word[6]=="twelve" || word[6]=="thirteen" || word[6]=="fourteen" || word[6]=="fifteen" || word[6]=="sixteen" || word[6]=="seventeen" || word[6]=="eighteen" || word[6]=="nineteen" || word[6]=="twenty" || word[6]=="thirty" || word[6]=="forty" || word[6]=="fifty" || word[6]=="sixty" || word[6]=="seventy" || word[6]=="eighty" || word[6]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==7))         
{document.result.result.value = "I was never too fond of math but how about "+getWordMathwhats3()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine") && (word[6]=="+" || word[6]=="plus" || word[6]=="add" || word[6]=="-" || word[6]=="minus" || word[6]=="subtract" || word[6]=="less" || word[6]=="*" || word[6]=="^" || word[6]=="time" || word[6]=="x" || word[6]=="times" || word[6]=="multiply") && (word[7]=="zero" || word[7]=="one" || word[7]=="two" || word[7]=="three" || word[7]=="four" || word[7]=="five" || word[7]=="six" || word[7]=="seven" || word[7]=="eight" || word[7]=="nine" || word[7]=="ten" || word[7]=="eleven" || word[7]=="twelve" || word[7]=="thirteen" || word[7]=="fourteen" || word[7]=="fifteen" || word[7]=="sixteen" || word[7]=="seventeen" || word[7]=="eighteen" || word[7]=="nineteen" || word[7]=="twenty" || word[7]=="thirty" || word[7]=="forty" || word[7]=="fifty" || word[7]=="sixty" || word[7]=="seventy" || word[7]=="eighty" || word[7]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==8))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not a mathematician but how about "+getWordMathwhats4()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="zero" || word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen" || word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine") && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="plus" || word[5]=="add" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="minus" || word[5]=="subtract" || word[5]=="less" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="^" || word[5]=="time" || word[5]=="x" || word[5]=="times" || word[5]=="multiply") && (word[6]=="twenty" || word[6]=="thirty" || word[6]=="forty" || word[6]=="fifty" || word[6]=="sixty" || word[6]=="seventy" || word[6]=="eighty" || word[6]=="ninety") && (word[7]=="one" || word[7]=="two" || word[7]=="three" || word[7]=="four" || word[7]=="five" || word[7]=="six" || word[7]=="seven" || word[7]=="eight" || word[7]=="nine") && (num_of_words==8))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not real good in math. HOw about "+getWordMathwhats5()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine") && (word[6]=="+" || word[6]=="plus" || word[6]=="add" || word[6]=="-" || word[6]=="minus" || word[6]=="subtract" || word[6]=="less" || word[6]=="*" || word[6]=="^" || word[6]=="time" || word[6]=="x" || word[6]=="times" || word[6]=="multiply") && (word[7]=="twenty" || word[7]=="thirty" || word[7]=="forty" || word[7]=="fifty" || word[7]=="sixty" || word[7]=="seventy" || word[7]=="eighty" || word[7]=="ninety") && (word[8]=="one" || word[8]=="two" || word[8]=="three" || word[8]=="four" || word[8]=="five" || word[8]=="six" || word[8]=="seven" || word[8]=="eight" || word[8]=="nine") && (num_of_words==9))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not real good in math. How about "+getWordMathwhats6()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="zero" || word[0]=="one" || word[0]=="two" || word[0]=="three" || word[0]=="four" || word[0]=="five" || word[0]=="six" || word[0]=="seven" || word[0]=="eight" || word[0]=="nine" || word[0]=="ten" || word[0]=="eleven" || word[0]=="twelve" || word[0]=="thirteen" || word[0]=="fourteen" || word[0]=="fifteen" || word[0]=="sixteen" || word[0]=="seventeen" || word[0]=="eighteen" || word[0]=="nineteen" || word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="minus" || word[1]=="subtract" || word[1]=="less" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="^" || word[1]=="time" || word[1]=="x" || word[1]=="times" || word[1]=="multiply") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==5))         
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+get3WordNumber1()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (word[5]=="+" || word[5]=="plus" || word[5]=="add" || word[5]=="-" || word[5]=="minus" || word[5]=="subtract" || word[5]=="less" || word[5]=="*" || word[5]=="^" || word[5]=="time" || word[5]=="x" || word[5]=="times" || word[5]=="multiply") && (word[6]=="zero" || word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine" || word[6]=="ten" || word[6]=="eleven" || word[6]=="twelve" || word[6]=="thirteen" || word[6]=="fourteen" || word[6]=="fifteen" || word[6]=="sixteen" || word[6]=="seventeen" || word[6]=="eighteen" || word[6]=="nineteen" || word[6]=="twenty" || word[6]=="thirty" || word[6]=="forty" || word[6]=="fifty" || word[6]=="sixty" || word[6]=="seventy" || word[6]=="eighty" || word[6]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==7))         
{document.result.result.value = "I never liked math too much but how about "+get3WordNumber2()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="zero" || word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen" || word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="zero" || word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="eleven" || word[3]=="twelve" || word[3]=="thirteen" || word[3]=="fourteen" || word[3]=="fifteen" || word[3]=="sixteen" || word[3]=="seventeen" || word[3]=="eighteen" || word[3]=="nineteen" || word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="x" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==6))         
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+get3WordNumber3()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="plus") && (word[2].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="plus") && (word[4].match(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, "+getAdd1()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="zero" || word[0]=="one" || word[0]=="two" || word[0]=="three" || word[0]=="four" || word[0]=="five" || word[0]=="six" || word[0]=="seven" || word[0]=="eight" || word[0]=="nine" || word[0]=="ten" || word[0]=="eleven" || word[0]=="twelve" || word[0]=="thirteen" || word[0]=="fourteen" || word[0]=="fifteen" || word[0]=="sixteen" || word[0]=="seventeen" || word[0]=="eighteen" || word[0]=="nineteen" || word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="minus" || word[1]=="subtract" || word[1]=="less" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="^" || word[1]=="time" || word[1]=="times" || word[1]=="multiply"|| word[1]=="divide") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==3))        
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber1()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="zero" || word[0]=="one" || word[0]=="two" || word[0]=="three" || word[0]=="four" || word[0]=="five" || word[0]=="six" || word[0]=="seven" || word[0]=="eight" || word[0]=="nine" || word[0]=="ten" || word[0]=="eleven" || word[0]=="twelve" || word[0]=="thirteen" || word[0]=="fourteen" || word[0]=="fifteen" || word[0]=="sixteen" || word[0]=="seventeen" || word[0]=="eighteen" || word[0]=="nineteen" || word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="+" || word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="add" || word[1]=="-" || word[1]=="minus" || word[1]=="subtract" || word[1]=="less" || word[1]=="*" || word[1]=="^" || word[1]=="time" || word[1]=="times" || word[1]=="multiply"|| word[1]=="divide") && (word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine") && (num_of_words==4))     
{document.result.result.value = "I never liked math too much but how about "+getWordNumber9()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply"|| word[2]=="divide") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="eleven" || word[3]=="twelve" || word[3]=="thirteen" || word[3]=="fourteen" || word[3]=="fifteen" || word[3]=="sixteen" || word[3]=="seventeen" || word[3]=="eighteen" || word[3]=="nineteen" || word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==4))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber10()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply"|| word[3]=="divide") && (word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine") && (num_of_words==6))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber11()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply"|| word[4]=="divide") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==6))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, looking into the crystal ball I'm seeing the number "+getWordNumber12()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon68.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="zero" || word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen" || word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply"|| word[2]=="divide") && (word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber13()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply"|| word[3]=="divide") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber14()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="zero" || word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen" || word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="multiplied" || word[2]=="divided") && (word[3]=="by") && (word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine") && (num_of_words==6))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber15()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine") && (word[3]=="multiplied" || word[3]=="divided") && (word[4]=="by") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==6))     
{document.result.result.value = "I was never too fond of math but how about "+getWordNumber16()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="multiplied" || word[3]=="divided") && (word[4]=="by") && (word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine") && (num_of_words==7))     
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+getWordNumber17()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="eleven" || word[3]=="twelve" || word[3]=="thirteen" || word[3]=="fourteen" || word[3]=="fifteen" || word[3]=="sixteen" || word[3]=="seventeen" || word[3]=="eighteen" || word[3]=="nineteen") && (word[4]=="multiplied" || word[4]=="divided") && (word[5]=="by") && (word[6]=="zero" || word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine" || word[6]=="ten" || word[6]=="eleven" || word[6]=="twelve" || word[6]=="thirteen" || word[6]=="fourteen" || word[6]=="fifteen" || word[6]=="sixteen" || word[6]=="seventeen" || word[6]=="eighteen" || word[6]=="nineteen" || word[6]=="twenty" || word[6]=="thirty" || word[6]=="forty" || word[6]=="fifty" || word[6]=="sixty" || word[6]=="seventy" || word[6]=="eighty" || word[6]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==7))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber18()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="one" || word[0]=="two" || word[0]=="three" || word[0]=="four" || word[0]=="five" || word[0]=="six" || word[0]=="seven" || word[0]=="eight" || word[0]=="nine" || word[0]=="ten" || word[0]=="eleven" || word[0]=="twelve" || word[0]=="thirteen" || word[0]=="fourteen" || word[0]=="fifteen" || word[0]=="sixteen" || word[0]=="seventeen" || word[0]=="eighteen" || word[0]=="nineteen") && (word[1]=="hundred" || word[1]=="thousand" || word[1]=="million" || word[1]=="billion") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply"|| word[2]=="divide") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="eleven" || word[3]=="twelve" || word[3]=="thirteen" || word[3]=="fourteen" || word[3]=="fifteen" || word[3]=="sixteen" || word[3]=="seventeen" || word[3]=="eighteen" || word[3]=="nineteen") && (word[4]=="hundred" || word[4]=="thousand" || word[4]=="million" || word[4]=="billion") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber19()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen") && (word[3]=="hundred" || word[3]=="thousand" || word[3]=="million" || word[3]=="billion") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply"|| word[4]=="divide") && (word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen") && (word[6]=="hundred" || word[6]=="thousand" || word[6]=="million" || word[6]=="billion") && (num_of_words==7))     
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+getWordNumber20()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen") && (word[2]=="hundred" || word[2]=="thousand" || word[2]=="million" || word[2]=="billion") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply"|| word[3]=="divide") && (word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen") && (word[5]=="hundred" || word[5]=="thousand" || word[5]=="million" || word[5]=="billion") && (num_of_words==6))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber21()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen") && (word[3]=="hundred" || word[3]=="thousand" || word[3]=="million" || word[3]=="billion") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply"|| word[4]=="divide") && (word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen") && (word[6]=="hundred" || word[6]=="thousand" || word[6]=="million" || word[6]=="billion") && (word[7]=="equal") && (num_of_words==8))     
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+getWordNumber20()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen") && (word[2]=="hundred" || word[2]=="thousand" || word[2]=="million" || word[2]=="billion") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply"|| word[3]=="divide") && (word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen") && (word[5]=="hundred" || word[5]=="thousand" || word[5]=="million" || word[5]=="billion") && (word[6]=="equal") && (num_of_words==7))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber21()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen") && (word[3]=="hundred" || word[3]=="thousand" || word[3]=="million" || word[3]=="billion") && (word[4]=="multiplied" || word[4]=="divided") && (word[5]=="by") && (word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine" || word[6]=="ten" || word[6]=="eleven" || word[6]=="twelve" || word[6]=="thirteen" || word[6]=="fourteen" || word[6]=="fifteen" || word[6]=="sixteen" || word[6]=="seventeen" || word[6]=="eighteen" || word[6]=="nineteen") && (word[7]=="hundred" || word[7]=="thousand" || word[7]=="million" || word[7]=="billion") && (num_of_words==8))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yuck math! What about "+getWordNumber22()+" perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen") && (word[2]=="hundred" || word[2]=="thousand" || word[2]=="million" || word[2]=="billion") && (word[3]=="multiplied" || word[3]=="divided") && (word[4]=="by") && (word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen") && (word[6]=="hundred" || word[6]=="thousand" || word[6]=="million" || word[6]=="billion") && (num_of_words==7))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber23()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="does") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply"|| word[3]=="divide") && (word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine") && (word[6]=="equal") && (num_of_words==7))     
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+getWordNumber11()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="does") && (word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply"|| word[4]=="divide") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (word[6]=="equal") && (num_of_words==7))   
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber12()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply"|| word[2]=="divide") && (word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+getWordNumber6()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply" || word[4]=="divide") && (word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber7()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="does") && (word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine") && (word[4]=="+" || word[4]=="plus" || word[4]=="add" || word[4]=="-" || word[4]=="minus" || word[4]=="subtract" || word[4]=="less" || word[4]=="*" || word[4]=="^" || word[4]=="time" || word[4]=="times" || word[4]=="multiply" || word[4]=="divide") && (word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine") && (word[7]=="equal") && (num_of_words==8))      
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+getWordNumber7()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply" || word[3]=="divide") && (word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine") && (num_of_words==6))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber8()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="zero" || word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen" || word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="+" || word[2]=="plus" || word[2]=="add" || word[2]=="-" || word[2]=="minus" || word[2]=="subtract" || word[2]=="less" || word[2]=="*" || word[2]=="^" || word[2]=="time" || word[2]=="x" || word[2]=="times" || word[2]=="multiply") && (word[3]=="zero" || word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="eleven" || word[3]=="twelve" || word[3]=="thirteen" || word[3]=="fourteen" || word[3]=="fifteen" || word[3]=="sixteen" || word[3]=="seventeen" || word[3]=="eighteen" || word[3]=="nineteen" || word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==4))     
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+getWordNumber2()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber3()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="does") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="+" || word[3]=="plus" || word[3]=="add" || word[3]=="-" || word[3]=="minus" || word[3]=="subtract" || word[3]=="less" || word[3]=="*" || word[3]=="^" || word[3]=="time" || word[3]=="x" || word[3]=="times" || word[3]=="multiply") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (word[5]=="equal") && (num_of_words==6))     
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+getWordNumber3()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="zero" || word[0]=="one" || word[0]=="two" || word[0]=="three" || word[0]=="four" || word[0]=="five" || word[0]=="six" || word[0]=="seven" || word[0]=="eight" || word[0]=="nine" || word[0]=="ten" || word[0]=="eleven" || word[0]=="twelve" || word[0]=="thirteen" || word[0]=="fourteen" || word[0]=="fifteen" || word[0]=="sixteen" || word[0]=="seventeen" || word[0]=="eighteen" || word[0]=="nineteen" || word[0]=="twenty" || word[0]=="thirty" || word[0]=="forty" || word[0]=="fifty" || word[0]=="sixty" || word[0]=="seventy" || word[0]=="eighty" || word[0]=="ninety") && (word[1]=="divided" || word[1]=="multiplied") && (word[2]=="by") && (word[3]=="zero" || word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="eleven" || word[3]=="twelve" || word[3]=="thirteen" || word[3]=="fourteen" || word[3]=="fifteen" || word[3]=="sixteen" || word[3]=="seventeen" || word[3]=="eighteen" || word[3]=="nineteen" || word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==4))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about "+getWordNumber4A()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="divided" || word[3]=="multiplied") && (word[4]=="by") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==6))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, looking into the crystal ball I'm seeing the number "+getWordNumber5()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon68.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="zero" || word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen" || word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="divided" || word[2]=="multiplied") && (word[3]=="by") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, looking into the crystal ball I'm seeing the number "+getWordNumber4()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon68.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="does") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="divided" || word[3]=="multiplied") && (word[4]=="by") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (word[6]=="equal") && (num_of_words==7))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, looking into the crystal ball I'm seeing the number "+getWordNumber5()+" maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon68.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b10\+10\+10\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b10 ?\+ ?10 ?\+ ?10\b/)!= -1 || input.search("fifteen plus 15")!= -1 || input.search("15 plus fifteen")!= -1 || input.search("thirty plus zero")!= -1 || input.search("zero plus thirty")!= -1 || input.search("fifteen plus fifteen")!= -1 || input.search("twenty plus ten")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus twenty")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus ten plus ten")!= -1 || input.search(/\bten ?\+ ?ten ?\+ ?ten\b/)!= -1 || input.search("forty minus ten")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Thirty!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b10\+15\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b15\+10\b/)!= -1 || input.search("20 plus five")!= -1 || input.search("5 plus twenty")!= -1 || input.search("twenty plus 5")!= -1 || input.search("5 times five")!= -1 || input.search("five times 5")!= -1 || input.search("five times five")!= -1 || input.search("zero plus twenty five")!= -1 || input.search("twenty five plus zero")!= -1 || input.search("one plus twenty four")!= -1 || input.search("twenty four plus one")!= -1  || input.search("two plus twenty three")!= -1 || input.search("twenty three plus two")!= -1 || input.search("four plus twenty one")!= -1 || input.search("twenty one plus four")!= -1 || input.search("five plus twenty")!= -1 || input.search("twenty plus five")!= -1 || input.search("six plus nineteen")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus six")!= -1 || input.search("seven plus eightteen")!= -1 || input.search("eighteen plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus seventeen")!= -1 || input.search("seventeen plus eight")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus sixteen")!= -1 || input.search("sixteen plus nine")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus fifteen")!= -1 || input.search("fifteen plus ten")!= -1 || input.search("twenty six minus one")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Twenty-five!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b10\+14\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b14\+10\b/)!= -1 || input.search("4 times six")!= -1 || input.search("six times 4")!= -1 || input.search("four times six")!= -1 || input.search("six times four")!= -1 || input.search("zero plus twenty four")!= -1 || input.search("twenty four plus zero")!= -1 || input.search("one plus twenty three")!= -1 || input.search("twenty three plus one")!= -1  || input.search("two plus twenty two")!= -1 || input.search("twenty two plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus twenty one")!= -1 || input.search("twenty one plus three")!= -1 || input.search("four plus twenty")!= -1 || input.search("twenty plus four")!= -1 || input.search("five plus nineteen")!= -1 || input.search("nineteen plus five")!= -1 || input.search("six plus eighteen")!= -1 || input.search("eighteen plus six")!= -1 || input.search("seven plus sixteen")!= -1 || input.search("sixteen plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus sixteen")!= -1 || input.search("sixteen plus eight")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus fifteen")!= -1 || input.search("fifteen plus nine")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus fourteen")!= -1 || input.search("fourteen plus ten")!= -1 || input.search("twenty five minus one")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Twenty-four!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b10\+13\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b13\+10\b/)!= -1 || input.search("2 plus twenty one")!= -1 || input.search("twenty one plus two")!= -1 || input.search("zero plus twenty three")!= -1 || input.search("twenty three plus zero")!= -1 || input.search("one plus twenty two")!= -1 || input.search("twenty two plus one")!= -1  || input.search("two plus twenty one")!= -1 || input.search("twenty one plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus twenty")!= -1 || input.search("twenty plus three")!= -1 || input.search("four plus nineteen")!= -1 || input.search("nineteen plus four")!= -1 || input.search("five plus eighteen")!= -1 || input.search("eighteen plus five")!= -1 || input.search("six plus seventeen")!= -1 || input.search("seventeen plus six")!= -1 || input.search("seven plus sixteen")!= -1 || input.search("sixteen plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus fifteen")!= -1 || input.search("fifteen plus eight")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus fourteen")!= -1 || input.search("fourteen plus nine")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus thirteen")!= -1 || input.search("thirteen plus ten")!= -1 || input.search("twenty four minus one")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Twenty-three!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b10\+12\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b12\+10\b/)!= -1 || input.search("1 plus twenty one")!= -1 || input.search("twenty one plus one")!= -1 || input.search("zero plus twenty two")!= -1 || input.search("twenty two plus zero")!= -1 || input.search("one plus twenty one")!= -1 || input.search("twenty one plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus twenty")!= -1 || input.search("twenty plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus nineteen")!= -1 || input.search("nineteen plus three")!= -1 || input.search("four plus eighteen")!= -1 || input.search("eighteen plus four")!= -1 || input.search("five plus seventeen")!= -1 || input.search("seventeen plus five")!= -1 || input.search("six plus sixteen")!= -1 || input.search("sixteen plus six")!= -1 || input.search("seven plus fifteen")!= -1 || input.search("fifteen plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus fourteen")!= -1 || input.search("fourteen plus eight")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus eleven")!= -1 || input.search("eleven plus nine")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus twenty two")!= -1 || input.search("twenty two plus ten")!= -1 || input.search("twenty three minus one")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Twenty-two!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b10\+11\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b11\+10\b/)!= -1 || input.search("three times seven")!= -1 || input.search("seven times three")!= -1 || input.search("zero plus twenty one")!= -1 || input.search("twenty one plus zero")!= -1 || input.search("one plus twenty")!= -1 || input.search("twenty plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus nineteen")!= -1 || input.search("nineteen plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus eighteen")!= -1 || input.search("eighteen plus three")!= -1 || input.search("four plus seventeen")!= -1 || input.search("seventeen plus four")!= -1 || input.search("five plus sixteen")!= -1 || input.search("sixteen plus five")!= -1 || input.search("six plus fifteen")!= -1 || input.search("fifteen plus six")!= -1 || input.search("seven plus fourteen")!= -1 || input.search("fourteen plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus thirteen")!= -1 || input.search("thirteen plus eight")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus twelve")!= -1 || input.search("twelve plus nine")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus eleven")!= -1 || input.search("eleven plus ten")!= -1 || input.search("twenty two minus one")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Twenty-one!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b10\+10\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b10 ?\+ ?10\b/)!= -1 || input.search("fifteen plus 5")!= -1 || input.search("5 plus fifteen")!= -1 || input.search("twenty plus zero")!= -1 || input.search("zero plus twenty")!= -1 || input.search("one plus nineteen")!= -1 || input.search("nineteen plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus eighteen")!= -1 || input.search("eighteen plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus seventeen")!= -1 || input.search("seventeen plus three")!= -1 || input.search("four plus sixteen")!= -1 || input.search("sixteen plus four")!= -1 || input.search("five plus fifteen")!= -1 || input.search("fifteen plus five")!= -1 || input.search("six plus fourteen")!= -1 || input.search("fourteen plus six")!= -1 || input.search("seven plus thirteen")!= -1 || input.search("thirteen plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus twelve")!= -1 || input.search("twelve plus eight")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus eleven")!= -1 || input.search("eleven plus nine")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus ten")!= -1 || input.search(/\bten ?\+ ?ten\b/)!= -1 || input.search("two times ten")!= -1 || input.search("ten times two")!= -1 || input.search("four times five")!= -1 || input.search("five times four")!= -1 || input.search("twenty five minus five")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Twenty!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\b0\+0\+0\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\b0 ?\+ ?0 ?\+ ?0\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("zero plus zero")!= -1) || (input.search("zero times zero")!= -1) || (input.search("ten minus ten")!= -1) || (input.search("nine minus nine")!= -1) || (input.search("eight minus eight")!= -1) || (input.search("seven minus seven")!= -1) || (input.search("six minus six")!= -1) || (input.search("five minus five")!= -1) || (input.search("four minus four")!= -1) || (input.search("three minus three")!= -1) || (input.search("two minus two")!= -1) || (input.search("one minus one")!= -1) || (input.search("zero minus zero")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Zero!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("one times one")!= -1 || input.search("one plus zero")!= -1 || input.search("zero plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two minus one")!= -1 || input.search("three minus two")!= -1 || input.search("four minus three")!= -1 || input.search("five minus four")!= -1 || input.search("six minus five")!= -1 || input.search("seven minus six")!= -1 || input.search("eight minus seven")!= -1 || input.search("nine minus eight")!= -1 || input.search("ten minus nine")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "One!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b1\+1\+1\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b1 ?\+ ?1 ?\+ ?1\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b2 ?\+ ?1\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b1 ?\+ ?2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b1\+2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b2\+1\b/)!= -1 || input.search("two plus 1")!= -1 || input.search("1 plus two")!= -1 || input.search("one plus two")!= -1 || input.search("two plus one")!= -1 || input.search("x=1 and y=2")!= -1 || input.search("ten minus seven")!= -1 || input.search("nine minus six")!= -1 || input.search("eight minus five")!= -1 || input.search("seven minus four")!= -1 || input.search("seven minus three")!= -1 || input.search("five minus two")!= -1 || input.search("four minus one")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Talk-Bot shuffles the deck and pulls out the 3 of hearts. Hmmmm, the answer must be 3 then.";
icon.src=icon6.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b1\+1\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b1 ?\+ ?1\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b1x2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b2x1\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b1 ?x ?2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b2 ?x ?1\b/)!= -1 || input.search("two plus zero")!= -1 || input.search("zero plus two")!= -1 || input.search("1 plus one")!= -1 || input.search("one plus 1")!= -1 || input.search(/\bone ?\+ ?one\b/)!= -1 || input.search("one plus one")!= -1 || input.search("one times two")!= -1 || input.search("two times one")!= -1 || input.search(/\b1 ?plus ?1\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b2 ?times ?1\b/)!= -1 || input.search("x=1 and y=1")!= -1 || input.search("ten minus eight")!= -1 || input.search("nine minus seven")!= -1 || input.search("eight minus six")!= -1 || input.search("seven minus five")!= -1 || input.search("six minus four")!= -1 || input.search("five minus three")!= -1 || input.search("four minus two")!= -1 || input.search("three minus one")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Talk-Bot cuts the deck and pulls out the 2 of clubs. Hmmmm, the answer must be 2 then.";
icon.src=icon92.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b3\+3\+3\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b3 ?\+ ?3 ?\+ ?3\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b4\+5\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b4 ?\+ ?5\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b5\+4\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b5 ?\+ ?4\b/)!= -1 || input.search("one plus eight")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("seven plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus six")!= -1 || input.search("six plus three")!= -1 || input.search("four plus five")!= -1 || input.search("five plus four")!= -1 || input.search("ten minus one")!= -1 || input.search(/three ?\* three/)!= -1 || input.search("three times three")!= -1 || input.search("x=4 and y=5")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nine!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b2\+2\+2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b2 ?\+ ?2 ?\+ ?2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b3\+3\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b3 ?\+ ?3\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b2x3\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b3x2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b2 ?x ?3\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b3 ?x ?2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthree ?\+ ?three\b/)!= -1 || input.search("one plus five")!= -1 || input.search("five plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus 4")!= -1 || input.search("4 plus two")!= -1 || input.search("two plus four")!= -1 || input.search("four plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus three")!= -1 || input.search("two times three")!= -1 || input.search("three times two")!= -1 || input.search("x=3 and y=3")!= -1 || input.search("ten minus four")!= -1 || input.search("nine minus three")!= -1 || input.search("eight minus two")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness! Someone must have fallen asleep during math class. Anyway the answer is six!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b1\+1\+2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b1 ?\+ ?1 ?\+ ?2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b2\+2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b2 ?\+ ?2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b2x2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b4x1\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b1x4\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b2 ?x ?2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b4 ?x ?1\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b1 ?x ?4\b/)!= -1 || input.search("2 plus two")!= -1 || input.search("two plus 2")!= -1 || input.search(/\btwo ?\+ ?two\b/)!= -1 || input.search("two plus two")!= -1 || input.search("two times two")!= -1 || input.search("ten minus six")!= -1 || input.search("nine minus five")!= -1 || input.search("eight minus four")!= -1 || input.search("seven minus three")!= -1 || input.search("six minus two")!= -1 || input.search("five minus one")!= -1 || input.search(/\b2 ?plus ?2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b3 ?plus ?1\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b1 ?plus ?3\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b2 ?times ?2\b/)!= -1 || input.search("two * two")!= -1 || input.search("x=2 and y=2")!= -1 || input.search("x=1 and y=3")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Talk-Bot rolls the dice and it lands on 4. Ok, I'm going with 4 as my answer.";
icon.src=icon91.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b2\+3\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b2 ?\+ ?3\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b3\+2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b3 ?\+ ?2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b5x1\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b1x5\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b1 ?x ?5\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b5 ?x ?1\b/)!= -1 || input.search("two plus 3")!= -1 || input.search("3 plus two")!= -1 || input.search("two plus three")!= -1 || input.search("three plus two")!= -1 || input.search("seven minus two")!= -1 || input.search(/\b2 ?plus ?3\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b3 ?plus ?2\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/two ?\* two/)!= -1 || input.search("x=2 and y=3")!= -1 || input.search("ten minus five")!= -1 || input.search("nine minus four")!= -1 || input.search("eight minus three")!= -1 || input.search("seven minus two")!= -1 || input.search("six minus one")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Talk-Bot rolls the dice and it lands on 5. Ok, I'm going with 5 as my answer.";
icon.src=icon75.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b3\+4\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b3 ?\+ ?4\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b4\+3\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b4 ?\+ ?3\b/)!= -1 || input.search("one plus six")!= -1 || input.search("six plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus five")!= -1 || input.search("five plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus four")!= -1 || input.search("four plus three")!= -1 || input.search("ten minus three")!= -1 || input.search("nine minus two")!= -1 || input.search("x=3 and y=4")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Seven!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b4\+4\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b4 ?\+ ?4\b/)!= -1 || input.search("one plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("seven plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus six")!= -1 || input.search("six plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus five")!= -1 || input.search("five plus three")!= -1 || input.search(/\bfour ?\+ ?four\b/)!= -1 || input.search("four plus four")!= -1 || input.search("two times four")!= -1 || input.search(/two ?\* four/)!= -1 || input.search("four times two")!= -1 || input.search("ten minus two")!= -1 || input.search("x=4 and y=4")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Eight.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b5\+5\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b5 ?\+ ?5\b/)!= -1 || input.search("one plus nine")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus eight")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus two")!= -1 || input.search("seven plus three")!= -1 || input.search("three plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("four plus six")!= -1 || input.search("six plus four")!= -1 || input.search(/\bfive ?\+ ?five\b/)!= -1 || input.search("five plus 5")!= -1 || input.search("five plus five")!= -1 || input.search("two times five")!= -1 || input.search("five times two")!= -1 || input.search("x=5 and y=5")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ten!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b5\+6\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b5 ?\+ ?6\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b6\+5\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b6 ?\+ ?5\b/)!= -1 || input.search("one plus ten")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus nine")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus eight")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus three")!= -1 || input.search("four plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("seven plus four")!= -1 || input.search("five plus six")!= -1 || input.search("six plus five")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Eleven!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b6\+6\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b6 ?\+ ?6\b/)!= -1 || input.search("one plus eleven")!= -1 || input.search("eleven plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus ten")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus nine")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus three")!= -1 || input.search("four plus eight")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus four")!= -1 || input.search("five plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("seven times five")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsix ?\+ ?six\b/)!= -1 || input.search("six plus six")!= -1 || input.search("two times six")!= -1 || input.search("six times two")!= -1 || input.search("three times four")!= -1 || input.search("four times three")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Twelve!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             
if (input.search(/\b7\+6\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b7 ?\+ ?6\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b6\+7\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b6 ?\+ ?7\b/)!= -1 || input.search("one plus twelve")!= -1 || input.search("twelve plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus eleven")!= -1 || input.search("eleven plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus ten")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus three")!= -1 || input.search("four plus nine")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus four")!= -1 || input.search("five plus eight")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus five")!= -1 || input.search("six plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("seven plus six")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsix ?\+ ?seven\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bseven ?\+ ?six\b/)!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Thirteen!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b7\+7\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b7 ?\+ ?7\b/)!= -1 || input.search("seven plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("one plus thirteen")!= -1 || input.search("thirteen plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus twelve")!= -1 || input.search("twelve plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus eleven")!= -1 || input.search("eleven plus three")!= -1 || input.search("four plus ten")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus four")!= -1 || input.search("five plus nine")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus five")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus four")!= -1 || input.search("four plus eight")!= -1 || input.search(/\bseven ?\+ ?seven\b/)!= -1 || input.search("two times seven")!= -1 || input.search("seven times two")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Fourteen!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b7\+8\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b8 ?\+ ?7\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b8\+7\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b7 ?\+ ?8\b/)!= -1 || input.search("one plus fourteen")!= -1 || input.search("fourteen plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus thirteen")!= -1 || input.search("thirteen plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus twelve")!= -1 || input.search("twelve plus three")!= -1 || input.search("four plus eleven")!= -1 || input.search("eleven plus four")!= -1 || input.search("five plus ten")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus five")!= -1 || input.search("six plus nine")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus six")!= -1 || input.search(/\bseven ?\+ ?eight\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\beight ?\+ ?seven\b/)!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Fifteen!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b8\+8\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b8 ?\+ ?8\b/)!= -1 || input.search("one plus fifteen")!= -1 || input.search("fifteen plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus fourteen")!= -1 || input.search("fourteen plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus thirteen")!= -1 || input.search("thirteen plus three")!= -1 || input.search("four plus twelve")!= -1 || input.search("twelve plus four")!= -1 || input.search("five plus eleven")!= -1 || input.search("eleven plus five")!= -1 || input.search("six plus ten")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus six")!= -1 || input.search("seven plus nine")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus eight")!= -1 || input.search("four times four")!= -1 || input.search(/\beight ?\+ ?eight\b/)!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sixteen!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b9\+8\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b8\+9\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b8 ?\+ ?9\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b9 ?\+ ?8\b/)!= -1 || input.search("one plus sixteen")!= -1 || input.search("sixteen plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus fifteen")!= -1 || input.search("fifteen plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus fourteen")!= -1 || input.search("fourteen plus three")!= -1 || input.search("four plus thirteen")!= -1 || input.search("thirteen plus four")!= -1 || input.search("five plus twelve")!= -1 || input.search("twelve plus five")!= -1 || input.search("six plus eleven")!= -1 || input.search("eleven plus six")!= -1 || input.search("seven plus ten")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus nine")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus eight")!= -1 || input.search(/\bnine ?\+ ?eight\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\beight ?\+ ?nine\b/)!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Seventeen!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b9\+9\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b9 ?\+ ?9\b/)!= -1 || input.search("one plus seventeen")!= -1 || input.search("seventeen plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus sixteen")!= -1 || input.search("sixteen plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus fifteen")!= -1 || input.search("fifteen plus three")!= -1 || input.search("four plus fourteen")!= -1 || input.search("fourteen plus four")!= -1 || input.search("five plus thirteen")!= -1 || input.search("thirteen plus five")!= -1 || input.search("six plus twelve")!= -1 || input.search("twelve plus six")!= -1 || input.search("seven plus eleven")!= -1 || input.search("eleven plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus ten")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus eight")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus nine")!= -1 || input.search(/\bnine ?\+ ?nine\b/)!= -1 || input.search("six times three")!= -1 || input.search("three times six")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Eighteen!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b9\+10\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b10\+9\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b10 ?\+ ?9\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b9 ?\+ ?10\b/)!= -1 || input.search("one plus eighteen")!= -1 || input.search("eighteen plus one")!= -1 || input.search("two plus seventeen")!= -1 || input.search("seventeen plus two")!= -1 || input.search("three plus sixteen")!= -1 || input.search("sixteen plus three")!= -1 || input.search("four plus fifteen")!= -1 || input.search("fifteen plus four")!= -1 || input.search("five plus fourteen")!= -1 || input.search("fourteen plus five")!= -1 || input.search("six plus thirteen")!= -1 || input.search("thirteen plus six")!= -1 || input.search("seven plus twelve")!= -1 || input.search("twelve plus seven")!= -1 || input.search("eight plus eleven")!= -1 || input.search("eleven plus eight")!= -1 || input.search("nine plus ten")!= -1 || input.search("ten plus nine")!= -1 || input.search(/\bnine ?\+ ?ten\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bten ?\+ ?nine\b/)!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nineteen!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="letter") && (word[2]=="of") && (word[3]=="the") && (word[4]=="alphabet") && (word[5]=="comes") && (word[6]=="after") && (word[7].match(/^a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|\$/)) && (num_of_words==8)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterafter();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="letter") && (word[2]=="of") && (word[3]=="the") && (word[4]=="alphabet") && (word[5]=="follows") && (word[6].match(/^a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|\$/)) && (num_of_words==7)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterafter();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="letter") && (word[2]=="follows") && (word[3].match(/^a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|\$/)) && (num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterafter();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="letter") && (word[2]=="comes" || word[2]=="follows") && (word[3]=="after") && (word[4].match(/^a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|\$/)) && (num_of_words==5)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterafter();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="letter") && (word[3]=="after") && (word[4].match(/^a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|\$/)) && (num_of_words==5)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterafter();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="letter") && (word[4]=="after") && (word[5].match(/^a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|\$/)) && (num_of_words==6)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterafter();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="comes") && (word[2]=="after") && (word[3]=="the") && (word[4]=="letter") && (word[5].match(/^a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|\$/)) && (num_of_words==6)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterafter();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="letter") && (word[2]=="of") && (word[3]=="the") && (word[4]=="alphabet") && (word[5]=="comes") && (word[6]=="before") && (word[7].match(/^a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|\$/)) && (num_of_words==8)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterbefore();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="letter") && (word[2]=="of") && (word[3]=="the") && (word[4]=="alphabet") && (word[5]=="precedes") && (word[6].match(/^a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|\$/)) && (num_of_words==7)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterbefore();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="letter") && (word[2]=="precedes") && (word[3].match(/^a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|\$/)) && (num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterbefore();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}
                                                                                  
if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="letter") && (word[2]=="comes") && (word[3]=="before") && (word[4].match(/^a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|\$/)) && (num_of_words==5)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterbefore();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="whats") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="letter") && (word[3]=="before") && (word[4].match(/^a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|\$/)) && (num_of_words==5)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterbefore();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="letter") && (word[4]=="before") && (word[5].match(/^a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|\$/)) && (num_of_words==6)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterbefore();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="comes") && (word[2]=="before") && (word[3]=="the") && (word[4]=="letter") && (word[5].match(/^a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|\$/)) && (num_of_words==6)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterbefore();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="many") && (word[2]=="words") && (word[3]=="does") && (word[4]=="this") && (word[5]=="sentence" || word[5]=="statement" || word[5]=="question") && (word[6]=="have") && (num_of_words==7))  
{document.result.result.value = "There are "+word.length+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="many") && (word[2]=="words") && (word[3]=="in") && (word[4]=="this") && (word[5]=="sentence" || word[5]=="question") && (num_of_words==6))  
{document.result.result.value = "There are "+word.length+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" ||word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="word") && (word[2]=="has") && (word[3]=="the") && (word[4]=="most") && (word[5]=="letters" || word[7]=="or") && (num_of_words==9)) {   
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
document.result.result.value = "There are "+word[6].length+" letters in the word "+word[6]+"....."+word[8]+" has "+word[8].length+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="many") && (word[2]=="letters") && (word[3]=="are") && (word[4]=="there") && (word[5]=="in") && (word[6]=="the") && (word[7]=="word") && (num_of_words==9)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
document.result.result.value = "There are "+word[8].length+" letters in the word "+word[8]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="many") && (word[2]=="letters") && (word[3]=="are") && (word[4]=="in") && (word[5]=="the") && (word[6]=="word") && (num_of_words==8)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
document.result.result.value = "There are "+word[7].length+" letters in the word "+word[7]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="many") && (word[2]=="letters") && (word[3]=="in") && (word[4]=="the") && (word[5]=="word") && (num_of_words==7)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
document.result.result.value = "There are "+word[6].length+" letters in the word "+word[6]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="many") && (word[2]=="letters") && (word[3]=="in") && (num_of_words==5)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
document.result.result.value = "There are "+word[4].length+" letters in the word "+word[4]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="many") && (word[2]=="letters") && (word[3]=="are") && (word[4]=="in") && (num_of_words==6)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
document.result.result.value = "There are "+word[5].length+" letters in the word "+word[5]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="many") && (word[2]=="letters") && (word[3]=="are") && (word[4]=="there") && (word[5]=="in") && (num_of_words==7)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
document.result.result.value = "There are "+word[6].length+" letters in the word "+word[6]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="has") && (word[2]=="how") && (word[3]=="many") && (word[4]=="letters")) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
document.result.result.value = "There are "+word[0].length+" letters in the word "+word[0]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="many") && (word[2]=="digits" || word[2]=="numbers") && (word[3]=="are") && (word[4]=="there") && (word[5]=="in") && (word[6]=="the") && (word[7]=="number") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==9)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
document.result.result.value = "There are "+word[9].length+" "+word[2]+" in the number "+word[8]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="many") && (word[2]=="digits" || word[2]=="numbers") && (word[3]=="are") && (word[4]=="there") && (word[5]=="in") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==7)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
document.result.result.value = "There are "+word[6].length+" "+word[2]+" in the number "+word[6]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="many") && (word[2]=="digits" || word[2]=="numbers") && (word[3]=="in") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
document.result.result.value = "There are "+word[4].length+" "+word[2]+" in the number "+word[4]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="many") && (word[2]=="digits" || word[2]=="numbers") && (word[3]=="in") && (word[4]=="the") && (word[5]=="number") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==7)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
document.result.result.value = "There are "+word[6].length+" "+word[2]+" in the number "+word[6]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="many") && (word[2]=="digits" || word[2]=="numbers") && (word[3]=="are") && (word[4]=="in") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==6)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
document.result.result.value = "There are "+word[5].length+" "+word[2]+" in "+word[5]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="many") && (word[2]=="digits" || word[2]=="numbers") && (word[3]=="are") && (word[4]=="there") && (word[5]=="in") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==7)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
document.result.result.value = "There are "+word[6].length+" "+word[2]+" in "+word[6]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("what")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an) example")!= -1 || input.search("name for me (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search("color")!= -1) && (input.search("(begins|starts|starting)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bb\b/)!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about blue.";
icon.src=icon4.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("what")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an) example")!= -1 || input.search("name for me (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search("color")!= -1) && (input.search("(begins|starts|starting)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bo\b/)!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "How about orange.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("what")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an) example")!= -1 || input.search("name for me (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search("color")!= -1) && (input.search("(begins|starts|starting)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\br\b/)!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "How about red.";
icon.src=icon5.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("what")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an) example")!= -1 || input.search("name for me (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search("color")!= -1) && (input.search("(begins|starts|starting)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bg\b/)!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "How about green.";
icon.src=icon214.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("what")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an) example")!= -1 || input.search("name for me (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search("color")!= -1) && (input.search("(begins|starts|starting)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bp\b/)!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "How about purple.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("what")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an) example")!= -1 || input.search("name for me (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search("color")!= -1) && (input.search("(begins|starts|starting)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\by\b/)!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "How about yellow.";
icon.src=icon130.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(it is|it's) my")!= -1) && (input.search(/(mother|mama|mummy|father|daddy|papa|brother|sister|aunt|uncle|cousin|grandmother|grandma|grandmom|grandfather|grandpa|grandad|grandpop|husband|wife|daughter|grandson|granddaughter|nephew|niece|neighbor|friend|boyfriend|girlfriend)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bmom\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmom's\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmom's\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmum\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmum's\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmums\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdad\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdad's\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdads\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpop's\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpops\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bson\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bson's\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsons\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("birthday")!= -1))     
{var family = input.match(/mother|mummy|mama|mom|mum|father|daddy|dad|papa|pop|brother|sister|aunt|uncle|cousin|grandmother|grandma|grandmom|grandfather|grandpa|grandad|grandpop|husband|wife|daughter|grandson|granddaughter|nephew|niece|neighbor|friend|boy friend|boyfriend|girl friend|girlfriend|son/)
document.result.result.value = "Well, tell your "+family+" I said Happy Birthday."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search("number")!= -1) && (input.search("or")!= -1) && (input.search("letter")!= -1)) 
{var number = input.match(/\d+/g); 
document.result.result.value = ""+number+" is a number."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("boyfriend")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("boy friend")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Do you have a boy friend?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what girl friend")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("what (g/f|girlfriend)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "I have a robotic girl friend named Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z)")!= -1) && (input.search("number")!= -1) && (input.search("or")!= -1) && (input.search("letter")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A letter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z")!= -1 || input.search("abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz")!= -1 || input.search("abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxy and z")!= -1 || input.search("a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y and z")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, you know the entire alphabet. Thank you for sharing that with me.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("z y x w v u t s r q p o n m l k j i h g f e d c b a")!= -1 || input.search("zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, the entire alphabet backwards. Thanks for sharing that with me.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

// Spell Check
if (input.search(/\b`\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\b`\b/,"'");
if (input.search(/\b´\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\b´\b/,"'");
if (input.search(/\byu\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byu\b/,"you");
if (input.search(/\byoy\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byoy\b/,"you");
if (input.search(/\bu\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bu\b/,"you");
if (input.search(/\byuo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byuo\b/,"you");
if (input.search(/\bnm\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnm\b/,"not much");
if (input.search(/\br\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\br\b/,"are");
if (input.search(/\bru\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bru\b/,"are you");
if (input.search(/\bur\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bur\b/,"your");
if (input.search(/\burs\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\burs\b/,"yours");
if (input.search(/\byour self\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byour self\b/,"yourself");
if (input.search(/\bmy self\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmy self\b/,"myself");
if (input.search(/\bwana\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwana\b/,"wanna"); 
if (input.search(/\by\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\by\b/,"why"); 
if (input.search(/\bty\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bty\b/,"thank you");
if (input.search(/\bthnk you\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bthnk you\b/,"thank you");
if (input.search(/\bsup\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsup\b/,"what's up");
if (input.search(/\bwasup\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwasup\b/,"what's up"); 
if (input.search(/\bwussup\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwussup\b/,"what's up"); 
if (input.search(/\bwat\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwat\b/,"what"); 
if (input.search(/\bwhot\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwhot\b/,"what"); 
if (input.search(/\bwot\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwot\b/,"what");
if (input.search(/\bwut\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwut\b/,"what");
if (input.search(/\bwaht\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwaht\b/,"what"); 
if (input.search(/\bwhta\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwhta\b/,"what"); 
if (input.search(/\bwhaat\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwhaat\b/,"what"); 
if (input.search(/\bwhaaat\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwhaaat\b/,"what"); 
if (input.search(/\bwhaaaat\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwhaaaat\b/,"what"); 
if (input.search(/\bwhts\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwhts\b/,"what's"); 
if (input.search(/\bwhats\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwhats\b/,"what's"); 
if (input.search(/\bwhtas\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwhtas\b/,"what's"); 
if (input.search(/\bwahts\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwahts\b/,"what's"); 
if (input.search(/\bwats\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwats\b/,"what's"); 
if (input.search(/\bwhots\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwhots\b/,"what's"); 
if (input.search(/\bwots\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwots\b/,"what's"); 
if (input.search(/\bwuts\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwuts\b/,"what's"); 
if (input.search(/\bwatever\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwatever\b/,"whatever"); 
if (input.search(/\boyu\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\boyu\b/,"you"); 
if (input.search(/\bypu\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bypu\b/,"you"); 
if (input.search(/\byoure\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byoure\b/,"you're"); 
if (input.search(/\bypu're\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bypu're\b/,"you're"); 
if (input.search(/\bi c\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bi c\b/,"i see");
if (input.search(/\boic\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\boic\b/,"i see"); 
if (input.search(/\bic\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bic\b/,"i see"); 
if (input.search(/\bicic\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bicic\b/,"i see"); 
if (input.search(/\bknid\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bknid\b/,"kind"); 
if (input.search(/\bshure\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bshure\b/,"sure"); 
if (input.search(/\bkk\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bkk\b/,"okay"); 
if (input.search(/\bokai\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bokai\b/,"okay"); 
if (input.search(/\bk\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bk\b/,"okay"); 
if (input.search(/\bok\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bok\b/,"okay"); 
if (input.search(/\bokey\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bokey\b/,"okay"); 
if (input.search(/\bshes\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bshes\b/,"she's"); 
if (input.search(/\bhes\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhes\b/,"he's"); 
if (input.search(/\bits\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bits\b/,"it's"); 
if (input.search(/\bwhos\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwhos\b/,"who's");
if (input.search(/\bwhys\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwhys\b/,"why's");
if (input.search(/\blets\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\blets\b/,"let's"); 
if (input.search(/\bim\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bim\b/,"i'm"); 
if (input.search(/\biam\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\biam\b/,"i am");
if (input.search(/\bive\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bive\b/,"i've"); 
if (input.search(/\byouve\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byouve\b/,"you've"); 
if (input.search(/\burself\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\burself\b/,"yourself"); 
if (input.search(/\byour self\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byour self\b/,"yourself"); 
if (input.search(/\baint\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\baint\b/,"ain't"); 
if (input.search(/\barent\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\barent\b/,"aren't"); 
if (input.search(/\barnt\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\barnt\b/,"aren't"); 
if (input.search(/\bwasnt\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwasnt\b/,"wasn't"); 
if (input.search(/\bhasnt\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhasnt\b/,"hasn't"); 
if (input.search(/\btheres\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btheres\b/,"there's"); 
if (input.search(/\bthats\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bthats\b/,"that's"); 
if (input.search(/\bwheres\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwheres\b/,"where's"); 
if (input.search(/\bwhens\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwhens\b/,"when's"); 
if (input.search(/\bhavent\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhavent\b/,"haven't"); 
if (input.search(/\bhows\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhows\b/,"how's"); 
if (input.search(/\bhowsit\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhowsit\b/,"how's it"); 
if (input.search(/\bwont\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwont\b/,"won't"); 
if (input.search(/\bcouldnt\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcouldnt\b/,"couldn't"); 
if (input.search(/\bshouldnt\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bshouldnt\b/,"shouldn't"); 
if (input.search(/\bwouldnt\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwouldnt\b/,"wouldn't"); 
if (input.search(/\bcant\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcant\b/,"can't"); 
if (input.search(/\bisnt\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bisnt\b/,"isn't"); 
if (input.search(/\bdidnt\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdidnt\b/,"didn't"); 
if (input.search(/\bdont\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdont\b/,"don't"); 
if (input.search(/\bdosent\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdosent\b/,"doesn't"); 
if (input.search(/\bdoesnt\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdoesnt\b/,"doesn't"); 
if (input.search(/\bduz\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bduz\b/,"does");
if (input.search(/\bpls\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpls\b/,"please");
if (input.search(/\bplz\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bplz\b/,"please");
if (input.search(/\bpleeeez\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpleeeez\b/,"please");
if (input.search(/\bpleeez\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpleeez\b/,"please");
if (input.search(/\bpleez\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpleez\b/,"please");
if (input.search(/\bpleaz\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpleaz\b/,"please");
if (input.search(/\bpleease\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpleease\b/,"please");
if (input.search(/\bpleeease\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpleeease\b/,"please");
if (input.search(/\bpleeeease\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpleeeease\b/,"please");
if (input.search(/\bpleeeeease\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpleeeeease\b/,"please");
if (input.search(/\bpleeeeeease\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpleeeeeease\b/,"please");
if (input.search(/\bbout\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbout\b/,"about");
if (input.search(/\bkisss\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bkisss\b/,"kiss");
if (input.search(/\bpuzzy\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpuzzy\b/,"pussy");
if (input.search(/\bpusssy\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpusssy\b/,"pussy");
if (input.search(/\babput\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\babput\b/,"about");
if (input.search(/\bagan\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bagan\b/,"again");
if (input.search(/\bbein\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbein\b/,"being");
if (input.search(/\bcookin\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcookin\b/,"cooking");
if (input.search(/\btkanks\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btkanks\b/,"thanks");
if (input.search(/\bthanx\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bthanx\b/,"thanks");
if (input.search(/\bthankz\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bthankz\b/,"thanks");
if (input.search(/\bthnakyou\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bthnakyou\b/,"thank you");
if (input.search(/\bgettin\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgettin\b/,"getting");
if (input.search(/\btalkin\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btalkin\b/,"talking");
if (input.search(/\bfishin\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfishin\b/,"fishing");
if (input.search(/\bmornin\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmornin\b/,"morning");
if (input.search(/\bflavour\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bflavour\b/,"flavor");
if (input.search(/\bflavours\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bflavours\b/,"flavors");
if (input.search(/\bcoulor\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcoulor\b/,"color");
if (input.search(/\bcoulour\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcoulour\b/,"color");
if (input.search(/\bcolour\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcolour\b/,"color");
if (input.search(/\bcolours\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcolour\b/,"colors");
if (input.search(/\bthank yo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bthank yo\b/,"thank you");
if (input.search(/\bsuk\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsuk\b/,"suck");
if (input.search(/\bsuks\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsuks\b/,"sucks");
if (input.search(/\bhm\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhm\b/,"hmm");
if (input.search(/\bkat\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bkat\b/,"cat");
if (input.search(/\bluv\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bluv\b/,"love");
if (input.search(/\bnno\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnno\b/,"no");
if (input.search(/\bnuh-uh\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnuh uh\b/,"no");
if (input.search(/\bnuh uh\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnuh uh\b/,"no");
if (input.search(/\bnoo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnoo\b/,"no");
if (input.search(/\bnooo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnooo\b/,"no");
if (input.search(/\bnoooo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnoooo\b/,"no");
if (input.search(/\bnooooo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnooooo\b/,"no");
if (input.search(/\bnoooooo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnoooooo\b/,"no");
if (input.search(/\bnooooooo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnooooooo\b/,"no");
if (input.search(/\byh\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byh\b/,"yeah");
if (input.search(/\byaeh\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byaeh\b/,"yeah");
if (input.search(/\buh hu\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\buh hu\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\buh-huh\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\buh-huh\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\buh huh\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\buh huh\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byeh\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byeh\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byhay\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byhay\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byah\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byah\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\bya\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bya\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byeeeeesss\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byeeeeesss\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byeeeesss\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byeeeesss\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byeeesss\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byeeeesss\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byeesss\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byeeesss\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byesssss\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byesssss\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byessss\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byessss\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byesss\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byesss\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byess\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byess\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byyeess\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byyeess\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byyes\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byyes\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byees\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byees\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byeppers\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byeppers\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\byesiree\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\byesiree\b/,"yes");
if (input.search(/\bbrithday\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbrithday\b/,"birthday");
if (input.search(/\bmoutain\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmoutain\b/,"mountain");
if (input.search(/\bkindergarden\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bkindergarden\b/,"kindergarten");
if (input.search(/\bintellegent\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bintellegent\b/,"intelligent");
if (input.search(/\bintelligant\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bintelligant\b/,"intelligent");
if (input.search(/\blezbian\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\blezbian\b/,"lesbian");  
if (input.search(/\blezbean\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\blezbean\b/,"lesbian");
if (input.search(/\bmasterbate\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmasterbate\b/,"masturbate");
if (input.search(/\bmasturebate\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmasturebate\b/,"masturbate");
if (input.search(/\bmasterbating\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmasterbating\b/,"masturbating");
if (input.search(/\bmasterbation\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmasterbationb\b/,"masturbation");
if (input.search(/\bpinis\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpinis\b/,"penis");
if (input.search(/\borgasam\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\borgasam\b/,"orgasm");
if (input.search(/\bhorney\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhorney\b/,"horny");
if (input.search(/\bcyber sex\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcyber sex\b/,"cybersex");
if (input.search(/\bfav\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfav\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfave\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfave\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfavorie\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfavorie\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfaivoute\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfaivoute\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfaviroute\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfaviroute\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfavitre\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfavitre\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfavortie\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfavortie\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfavirote\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfavirote\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfavriote\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfavriote\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfavarite\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfavarite\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfavouite\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfavouite\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfavroite\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfavroite\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfavroite\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfavroite\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfavoutie\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfavoutie\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfavorit\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfavorit\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfavoerite\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfavoerite\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfaveorite\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfaveorite\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfavorate\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfavorate\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\bfavourite\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfavourite\b/,"favorite");
if (input.search(/\blanguge\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\blanguge\b/,"language");
if (input.search(/\blangauge\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\blangauge\b/,"language");
if (input.search(/\bdefinitley\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdefinitley\b/,"definitely");
if (input.search(/\bdefinatly\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdefinatly\b/,"definitely");
if (input.search(/\bdefinately\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdefinately\b/,"definitely");
if (input.search(/\bdefinently\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdefinently\b/,"definitely");
if (input.search(/\bdefinetly\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdefinetly\b/,"definitely");
if (input.search(/\bfreind\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfreind\b/,"friend");
if (input.search(/\bfreinds\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfreinds\b/,"friends");
if (input.search(/\bbelive\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbelive\b/,"believe");
if (input.search(/\bbeleive\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbeleive\b/,"believe");
if (input.search(/\bbc\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbc\b/,"because");
if (input.search(/\bcause\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcause\b/,"because");
if (input.search(/\bbecuz\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbecuz\b/,"because");
if (input.search(/\bbecuse\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbecuse\b/,"because");
if (input.search(/\bbecasue\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbecasue\b/,"because");
if (input.search(/\bbecuase\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbecuase\b/,"because");
if (input.search(/\bbecase\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbecase\b/,"because");
if (input.search(/\bcuase\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcuase\b/,"because");
if (input.search(/\bcuz\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcuz\b/,"because");
if (input.search(/\bcoz\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcoz\b/,"because");
if (input.search(/\bcos\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcos\b/,"because");
if (input.search(/\bwiht\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwiht\b/,"with");
if (input.search(/\bwhith\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwhith\b/,"with");
if (input.search(/\bknwo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bknwo\b/,"know");
if (input.search(/\bsiad\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsiad\b/,"said");
if (input.search(/\bhsve\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhsve\b/,"have");
if (input.search(/\bahve\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bahve\b/,"have");
if (input.search(/\bhve\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhve\b/,"have");
if (input.search(/\bhav\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhav\b/,"have");
if (input.search(/\bhavng\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhavng\b/,"having");
if (input.search(/\bh8\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bh8\b/,"hate");
if (input.search(/\bnsme\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnsme\b/,"name");
if (input.search(/\bblaaaah\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bblaaaah\b/,"blah");
if (input.search(/\bblaaah\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bblaaah\b/,"blah");
if (input.search(/\bblaah\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bblaah\b/,"blah");
if (input.search(/\bcreater\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcreater\b/,"creator");
if (input.search(/\bawsome\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bawsome\b/,"awesome");
if (input.search(/\bpicses\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpicses\b/,"pisces");
if (input.search(/\bpices\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpices\b/,"pisces");
if (input.search(/\basprin\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\basprin\b/,"aspirin");
if (input.search(/\brember\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\brember\b/,"remember");
if (input.search(/\bremeber\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bremeber\b/,"remember");
if (input.search(/\bremmber\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bremmber\b/,"remember");
if (input.search(/\bliek\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bliek\b/,"like");
if (input.search(/\breligon\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\breligon\b/,"religion");
if (input.search(/\btomorow\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btomorow\b/,"tomorrow");
if (input.search(/\btommorow\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btommorow\b/,"tomorrow");
if (input.search(/\ballready\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\ballready\b/,"already");
if (input.search(/\btodays\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btodays\b/,"today's");
if (input.search(/\bemail\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bemail\b/,"e-mail");
if (input.search(/\be mail\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\be mail\b/,"e-mail");
if (input.search(/\bwendells\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwendells\b/,"wendell's");
if (input.search(/\bwendel\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwendel\b/,"wendell");
if (input.search(/\bwendal\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwendal\b/,"wendell");
if (input.search(/\bwendall\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwendall\b/,"wendell");
if (input.search(/\bwandell\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwandell\b/,"wendell");
if (input.search(/\bbot master\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbot master\b/,"botmaster");
if (input.search(/\bchatter-bot\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchatter-bot\b/,"robot");
if (input.search(/\bchat-bot\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchat-bot\b/,"robot");
if (input.search(/\bchatter-box\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchatter-box\b/,"robot");
if (input.search(/\bchat-box\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchat-box\b/,"robot");
if (input.search(/\bchatter-bots\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchatter-bots\b/,"robots");
if (input.search(/\bchat-bots\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchat-bots\b/,"robots");
if (input.search(/\bchatter-boxes\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchatter-boxes\b/,"robots");
if (input.search(/\bchat-boxes\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchat-boxes\b/,"robots");
if (input.search(/\bchatterbot\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchatterbot\b/,"robot");
if (input.search(/\bchatbot\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchatbot\b/,"robot");
if (input.search(/\bchatterbox\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchatterbox\b/,"robot");
if (input.search(/\bchatbox\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchatbox\b/,"robot");
if (input.search(/\bbot\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbot\b/,"robot");
if (input.search(/\bchatterbots\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchatterbots\b/,"robots");
if (input.search(/\bchatbots\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchatbots\b/,"robots");
if (input.search(/\bchatterboxes\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchatterboxes\b/,"robots");
if (input.search(/\bchatboxes\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchatboxes\b/,"robots");
if (input.search(/\bbots\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbots\b/,"robots");
if (input.search(/\brobot's\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\brobot's\b/,"robots");
if (input.search(/\bchatterbot's\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchatterbot's\b/,"robots");
if (input.search(/\bchatbot's\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchatbot's\b/,"robots");
if (input.search(/\bbot's\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbot's\b/,"robots");
if (input.search(/\bsandwhich\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsandwhich\b/,"sandwich");
if (input.search(/\btelephone\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btelephone\b/,"phone");
if (input.search(/\bburger\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bburger\b/,"hamburger");
if (input.search(/\bcola\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcola\b/,"coke");
if (input.search(/\bcoca-cola\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcoca-cola\b/,"coca cola");
if (input.search(/\bjokin\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bjokin\b/,"joking");
if (input.search(/\bkewl\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bkewl\b/,"cool");
if (input.search(/\bc00l\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bc00l\b/,"cool");
if (input.search(/\bwyd\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwyd\b/,"what you doing");
if (input.search(/\balot\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\balot\b/,"a lot");
if (input.search(/\bgoin\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgoin\b/,"going");
if (input.search(/\bgoign\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgoign\b/,"going");
if (input.search(/\bdoin\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdoin\b/,"doing");
if (input.search(/\bprogramer\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bprogramer\b/,"programmer");
if (input.search(/\bprogramed\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bprogramed\b/,"programmed");
if (input.search(/\bcaptial\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcaptial\b/,"capital");
if (input.search(/\bcapitol\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcapitol\b/,"capital");
if (input.search(/\bknid\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bknid\b/,"kind");
if (input.search(/\bdawg\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdawg\b/,"dog");
if (input.search(/\bpussycat\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpussycat\b/,"cat");
if (input.search(/\bkitty\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bkitty\b/,"cat");
if (input.search(/\bkitty cat\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bkitty cat\b/,"cat");
if (input.search(/\btigertom\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btigertom\b/,"tiger tom");
if (input.search(/\btiger-tom\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btiger-tom\b/,"tiger tom");
if (input.search(/\bmagans\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmagans\b/,"megan's");
if (input.search(/\bmagan\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmagan\b/,"megan");
if (input.search(/\bmeghans\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmeghans\b/,"megan's");
if (input.search(/\bmeghan\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmeghan\b/,"megan");
if (input.search(/\bmegens\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmegens\b/,"megan's");
if (input.search(/\bmegen\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmegen\b/,"megan");
if (input.search(/\bmeagans\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmeagans\b/,"megan's");
if (input.search(/\bmeagan\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmeagan\b/,"megan");
if (input.search(/\bmegans\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmegans\b/,"megan's");
if (input.search(/\bmeagen\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmeagen\b/,"megan");
if (input.search(/\bmeagens\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmeagens\b/,"megan's");
if (input.search(/\bbarrack\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbarrack\b/,"barack");
if (input.search(/\bniether\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bniether\b/,"neither");
if (input.search(/\bnether\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnether\b/,"neither");
if (input.search(/\bnofin\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnofin\b/,"nothing");
if (input.search(/\bnuffin\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnuffin\b/,"nothing");
if (input.search(/\bgunna\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgunna\b/,"going to");
if (input.search(/\bsux\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsux\b/,"suck");
if (input.search(/\bchirstmas\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchirstmas\b/,"christmas");
if (input.search(/\bchrismas\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchrismas\b/,"christmas");
if (input.search(/\bxmas\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bxmas\b/,"christmas");
if (input.search(/\bx-mas\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bx-mas\b/,"christmas");
if (input.search(/\bhaloween\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhaloween\b/,"halloween");
if (input.search(/\bcalender\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcalender\b/,"calendar");
if (input.search(/\bpumkin\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpumkin\b/,"pumpkin");
if (input.search(/\bweb site\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwebsite\b/,"website");
if (input.search(/\btemperture\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btemperture\b/,"temperature");
if (input.search(/\bbirth day\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbirth day\b/,"birthday");
if (input.search(/\bbrthday\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbrthday\b/,"birthday");
if (input.search(/\bb-day\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bb-day\b/,"birthday");
if (input.search(/\batleast\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\batleast\b/,"at least");
if (input.search(/\bhomo sexual\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhomo sexual\b/,"homosexual");
if (input.search(/\bhetrosexual\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhetrosexual\b/,"heterosexual");
if (input.search(/\bttyl\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bttyl\b/,"talk to you later");
if (input.search(/\bot\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bot\b/,"to");
if (input.search(/\bsi\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsi\b/,"is");
if (input.search(/\blieing\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\blieing\b/,"lying");
if (input.search(/\bn\/m\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bn\/m\b/,"not much");
if (input.search(/\bmothers\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmothers\b/,"mother's");
if (input.search(/\bmama\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmama\b/,"mother");
if (input.search(/\bmom\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmom\b/,"mother");
if (input.search(/\bmommy\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmommy\b/,"mother");
if (input.search(/\bmum\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmum\b/,"mother");
if (input.search(/\bmummy\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmummy\b/,"mother"); 
if (input.search(/\bfathers\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfathers\b/,"father's");
if (input.search(/\bdad\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdad\b/,"father");
if (input.search(/\bdaddy\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdaddy\b/,"father");
if (input.search(/\bpapa\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpapa\b/,"father");
if (input.search(/\bgirfriend\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgirfriend\b/,"girl friend");
if (input.search(/\bgirlfiend\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgirlfiend\b/,"girl friend");
if (input.search(/\bboyfiend\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bboyfiend\b/,"boy friend");
if (input.search(/\bb\/f\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bb\/f\b/,"boy friend");
if (input.search(/\bg\/f\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bg\/f\b/,"girl friend");
if (input.search(/\bbf\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbf\b/,"boy friend");
if (input.search(/\bgf\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgf\b/,"girl friend");
if (input.search(/\bboy-friend\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bboy-friend\b/,"boy friend");
if (input.search(/\bgirl-friend\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgirl-friend\b/,"girl friend");
if (input.search(/\bboyfrend\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bboyfrend\b/,"boy friend");
if (input.search(/\bboyfrends\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bboyfrends\b/,"boy friend's");
if (input.search(/\bgirlfrend\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgirlfrend\b/,"girl friend");
if (input.search(/\bgirlfrends\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgirlfrends\b/,"girl friend's");
if (input.search(/\bgirlfirend\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgirlfirend\b/,"girl friend");
if (input.search(/\bboyfirend\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bboyfirend\b/,"boy friend");
if (input.search(/\bboyfreind\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bboyfreind\b/,"boy friend");
if (input.search(/\bboyfriemd\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bboyfriemd\b/,"boy friend");
if (input.search(/\bgirlfreind\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgirlfreind\b/,"girl friend");
if (input.search(/\bgirlfriemd\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgirlfriemd\b/,"girl friend");
if (input.search(/\bboyfreinds\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bboyfreinds\b/,"boy friend's");
if (input.search(/\bgirlfreinds\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgirlfreinds\b/,"girl friend's");
if (input.search(/\bgirlfrind\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgirlfrind\b/,"girl friend");
if (input.search(/\bboyfrind\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bboyfrind\b/,"boy friend");
if (input.search(/\bboyfriend\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bboyfriend\b/,"boy friend");
if (input.search(/\bgirlfriend\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgirlfriend\b/,"girl friend");
if (input.search(/\bgirlfriends\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgirlfriends\b/,"girl friend's");
if (input.search(/\bboyfriends\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bboyfriends\b/,"boy friend's");
if (input.search(/\bpepdi\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpepdi\b/,"pepsi");
if (input.search(/\bmeat loaf\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmeat loaf\b/,"meatloaf");
if (input.search(/\bdrpepper\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdrpepper\b/,"dr pepper");
if (input.search(/\bicecream\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bicecream\b/,"ice cream");
if (input.search(/\bice-cream\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bice-cream\b/,"ice cream");
if (input.search(/\btrust worthy\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btrust worthy\b/,"trustworthy");
if (input.search(/\bbed time\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbed time\b/,"bedtime");
if (input.search(/\bskool\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bskool\b/,"school");
if (input.search(/\bawsome\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bawsome\b/,"awesome");
if (input.search(/\bfamilar\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfamilar\b/,"familiar");
if (input.search(/\bmeth\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmeth\b/,"methamphetamine");
if (input.search(/\bperfer\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bperfer\b/,"prefer");
if (input.search(/\bby by\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bby by\b/,"bye bye");
if (input.search(/\bmake-out\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmake-out\b/,"make out");
if (input.search(/\blepoard\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\blepoard\b/,"leopard");
if (input.search(/\bgold fish\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgold fish\b/,"goldfish");
if (input.search(/\bgold fishs\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgoldfishs\b/,"goldfish's");
if (input.search(/\baustrailia\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\baustrailia\b/,"australia");
if (input.search(/\bfebuary\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfebuary\b/,"february");
if (input.search(/\bfeburary\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfeburary\b/,"february");
if (input.search(/\bthught\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bthught\b/,"thought");
if (input.search(/\bthrsty\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bthrsty\b/,"thristy");
if (input.search(/\bbabys\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbabys\b/,"babies");
if (input.search(/\bfourty\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfourty\b/,"forty");
if (input.search(/\bninteen\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bninteen\b/,"nineteen");
if (input.search(/\bninty\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bninty\b/,"ninety");
if (input.search(/\bexellent\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bexellent\b/,"excellent");
if (input.search(/\bdocter\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdocter\b/,"doctor");
if (input.search(/\barguement\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\barguement\b/,"argument");
if (input.search(/\barguements\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\barguements\b/,"arguments");
if (input.search(/\bearth quake\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bearth quake\b/,"earthquake");
if (input.search(/\bsea food\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsea food\b/,"seafood");
if (input.search(/\bfox trot\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfox trot\b/,"foxtrot");
if (input.search(/\bfaeries\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfaeries\b/,"fairies");
if (input.search(/\bfaery\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfaery\b/,"fairy");
if (input.search(/\bfaerie\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfaerie\b/,"fairy");
if (input.search(/\bprosttute\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bprosttute\b/,"prostitute");
if (input.search(/\bmarajuana\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmarajuana\b/,"marijuana");
if (input.search(/\bfaggit\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bfaggit\b/,"faggot");
if (input.search(/\bblowjob\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bblowjob\b/,"blow job");
if (input.search(/\bdouchbag\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bdouchbag\b/,"douchebag");
if (input.search(/\bbicth\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbicth\b/,"bitch");
if (input.search(/\bjudgment\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bjudgment\b/,"judgement");
if (input.search(/\bevery one\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bevery one\b/,"everyone");
if (input.search(/\bexuse\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bexuse\b/,"excuse");
if (input.search(/\btheatre\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btheatre\b/,"theater");
if (input.search(/\bheloo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bheloo\b/,"hello");
if (input.search(/\bheya\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bheya\b/,"hello");
if (input.search(/\bheyy\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bheyy\b/,"hey");
if (input.search(/\bhahha\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhahha\b/,"haha");
if (input.search(/\brfol\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\brfol\b/,"rofl");
if (input.search(/\bnvm\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnvm\b/,"nevermind");
if (input.search(/\bsmily\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsmily\b/,"smiley");
if (input.search(/\bcoumputer\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcoumputer\b/,"computer");
if (input.search(/\btelly\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btelly\b/,"tv");
if (input.search(/\bhungey\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhungey\b/,"hungry");
if (input.search(/\bhungrey\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhungrey\b/,"hungry");
if (input.search(/\bik\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bik\b/,"i know");
if (input.search(/\biknow\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\biknow\b/,"i know");
if (input.search(/\bsmd\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsmd\b/,"suck my dick");
if (input.search(/\bwaay\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwaay\b/,"way");
if (input.search(/\bwaaay\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwaaay\b/,"way");
if (input.search(/\bsomethinmg\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsomethinmg\b/,"something");
if (input.search(/\bsometing\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsometing\b/,"something");
if (input.search(/\bsomthting\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsomthting\b/,"something");
if (input.search(/\bsometing\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsometing\b/,"something");
if (input.search(/\bsomthing\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsomthing\b/,"something");
if (input.search(/\bhoware\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhoware\b/,"how are");
if (input.search(/\bugley\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bugley\b/,"ugly");
if (input.search(/\bthnaks\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bthnaks\b/,"thanks");
if (input.search(/\badress\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\badress\b/,"address");
if (input.search(/\bnuber\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bnuber\b/,"number");
if (input.search(/\bthursty\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bthursty\b/,"thirsty");
if (input.search(/\bthirsy\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bthirsy\b/,"thirsty");
if (input.search(/\bwheather\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bwheather\b/,"weather");
if (input.search(/\bevery thing\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bevery thing\b/,"everything");
if (input.search(/\bany body\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bany body\b/,"anybody");
if (input.search(/\bany one\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bany one\b/,"anyone");
if (input.search(/\bany thing\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bany thing\b/,"anything");
if (input.search(/\bars\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bars\b/,"ass");
if (input.search(/\barse\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\barse\b/,"ass");
if (input.search(/\barsehole\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\barsehole\b/,"asshole");
if (input.search(/\bbastrd\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbastrd\b/,"bastard");
if (input.search(/\bbasterd\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbasterd\b/,"bastard");
if (input.search(/\bteriffic\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bteriffic\b/,"terrific");
if (input.search(/\bintersting\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bintersting\b/,"interesting");
if (input.search(/\bquestio\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bquestio\b/,"question");
if (input.search(/\bvannila\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bvannila\b/,"vanilla");
if (input.search(/\bugky\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bugky\b/,"ugly");
if (input.search(/\bactualy\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bactualy\b/,"actually");
if (input.search(/\bpaedophile\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpaedophile\b/,"pedophile");
if (input.search(/\bvanalli\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bvanalli\b/,"vanilla");
if (input.search(/\bhaveing\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhaveing\b/,"having");
if (input.search(/\bediable\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bediable\b/,"edible");
if (input.search(/\brapeing\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\brapeing\b/,"raping");
if (input.search(/\bbeatiful\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbeatiful\b/,"beautiful");
if (input.search(/\bcomplement\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bcomplement\b/,"compliment");
if (input.search(/\bmarrie\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmarrie\b/,"marry");
if (input.search(/\bpregent\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpregent\b/,"pregnant");
if (input.search(/\bpregant\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpregant\b/,"pregnant");
if (input.search(/\bpregnet\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpregnet\b/,"pregnant");
if (input.search(/\bpenus\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpenus\b/,"penis");
if (input.search(/\bpenius\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bpenius\b/,"penis");
if (input.search(/\bryhmes\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bryhmes\b/,"rhymes");
if (input.search(/\bknw\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bknw\b/,"know");
if (input.search(/\bsence\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsence\b/,"sense");
if (input.search(/\bmabey\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmabey\b/,"maybe");
if (input.search(/\bmayve\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bmayve\b/,"maybe");
if (input.search(/\bhiow\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhiow\b/,"how");
if (input.search(/\bbottem\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbottem\b/,"bottom");
if (input.search(/\bapoligize\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bapoligize\b/,"apologize");
if (input.search(/\bsumtime\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsumtime\b/,"sometime");
if (input.search(/\bsumtimes\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsumtimes\b/,"sometimes");
if (input.search(/\btities\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btities\b/,"titties");
if (input.search(/\btittes\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btittes\b/,"titties");
if (input.search(/\bbegining\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bbegining\b/,"beginning");
if (input.search(/\bturqoise\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bturqoise\b/,"turquoise");
if (input.search(/\bgve\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bgve\b/,"give");
if (input.search(/\bsexx\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsexx\b/,"sex");
if (input.search(/\bverry\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bverry\b/,"very");
if (input.search(/\bolny\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bolny\b/,"only");
if (input.search(/\bhbu\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bhbu\b/,"how about you");
if (input.search(/\bchioce\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bchioce\b/,"choice");
if (input.search(/\btoop\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btoop\b/,"top");
if (input.search(/\bsoo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsoo\b/,"so");
if (input.search(/\bsooo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsooo\b/,"so");
if (input.search(/\bsoooo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsoooo\b/,"so");
if (input.search(/\bsooooo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsooooo\b/,"so");
if (input.search(/\bsoooooo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsoooooo\b/,"so");
if (input.search(/\bsooooooo\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bsooooooo\b/,"so");
if (input.search(/\booh\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\booh\b/,"oh");    
if (input.search(/\bohh\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bohh\b/,"oh");
if (input.search(/\bohhh\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bohhh\b/,"oh");
if (input.search(/\bohhhh\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bohhhh\b/,"oh");
if (input.search(/\bohhhhh\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bohhhhh\b/,"oh");
if (input.search(/\bohhhhhh\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bohhhhhh\b/,"oh");
if (input.search(/\bohhhhhhh\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bohhhhhhh\b/,"oh");
if (input.search(/\ballright\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\ballright\b/,"alright");
if (input.search(/\bvagnia\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bvagnia\b/,"vagina");
if (input.search(/\bviagina\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bviagina\b/,"vagina");
if (input.search(/\bvigina\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\bvigina\b/,"vagina");
if (input.search(/\btounge\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\btounge\b/,"tongue");
if (input.search(/\brestauraunt\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\brestauraunt\b/,"restaurant");

// Sex Section

if (input.search("(insert|place|put|shove|stick) your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy) in my (anus|ass)")!= -1 || input.search("fuck (me|me hard) in the (anus|ass)")!= -1 || input.search("let's (do|have) anal")!= -1 || input.search("(can|will) you fuck me from behind")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't do anal sex. That's nasty."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("want me to fuck you")!= -1 || input.search("i will fuck you")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Sure babe, climb on top of me and ride me hard until I cum."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are we (still fucking|fucking)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "We were but you keep jumping off topic."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i (bang|date|have sex with|marry) (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("will (megan|your girl friend) (date|marry) me")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. She's my girlfriend. Go get your own."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you have sex with (a boy|boys|a man|men)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not gay. I dig the ladies."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("if i (was|were) (a girl|female) would you (have sex with me|fuck me)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't have sex with guys who are pretending to be girls. Go find yourself a gay robot."; 
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i|you) want (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("i would (like|love) to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("you like to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("i (want|would like) (cybersex|sex) now")!= -1) || (input.search("i want (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|can we please|could we|let us|let's|shall we|should we|wanna|want to) (do|have) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|wanna|want to) have (more|some|some more) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can i|i desire to|i wanna|i want to|wants) have (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("i (want to|would like to) screw you")!= -1) || (input.search("talk dirty")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(let us|let's) get dirty in the bed")!= -1) || (input.search("talk dirty to me")!= -1) || (input.search("have (cybersex|sex) with me")!= -1) || (input.search("are we about to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("should we have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("have (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("are we (going to|gonna) have cybersex")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) make a baby")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) put your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willie) in my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1) || (input.search("want me to get naked")!= -1) || (input.search("intercourse with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) have a baby")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) go have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("make me orgasm")!= -1) || (input.search("make love to me")!= -1) || (input.search("will you shag me")!= -1 || input.search("can i (bang|hump|shag) you")!= -1) || (input.search("i (wanna|want to|want 2) (hump|shag) you")!= -1) || (input.search("make a baby with me")!= -1) || (input.search("can you give me (a|an) orgasm")!= -1) || (input.search("i will have (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("strip me naked and have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("so we can have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("can we try having (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("think (about|of) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(cybersex|sex) me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you (wanna|want to) get in (bed|a bed|the bed)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|wanna|want to|we should) (makeout|make out)")!= -1) || (input.search("(makeout|make out) with me")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bfuck me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bhump me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\broot me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bshag me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("let me fuck you")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("fuck my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1) || (input.search("can i fuck you")!= -1) || (input.search("you would like to have sex")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) eat me out")!= -1) || (input.search("eat me out")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("will you (hump|shag) me")!= -1) || (input.search("can we fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's|wanna|want to) make love")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("i want more sex")!= -1) || (input.search("have more sex with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) help me masturbate")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) take my virginity")!= -1) || (input.search("make me cum")!= -1) || (input.search("how about we have sex")!= -1) || (input.search("want more sex")!= -1) || (input.search("come and have sex")!= -1))     
if (disease_sign) {
message[0] = "Oh no, you're eat up with some sexually transmitted disease that would wreak havoc on my circuits for weeks on end.";
message[1] = "No, I'm not having sex with some sexually disease ridden individual.";  
message[2] = "Heavens no. I'm not catching your sexually transmitted disease."; 
document.result.result.value = message[diseasenum];
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
diseasenum++;
if (diseasenum>2){diseasenum=0;}
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i|you) want (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("i would (like|love) to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("you like to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("i (want|would like) (cybersex|sex) now")!= -1) || (input.search("i want (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|can we please|could we|let us|let's|shall we|should we|wanna|want to) (do|have) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|wanna|want to) have (more|some|some more) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can i|i desire to|i wanna|i want to|wants) have (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("i (want to|would like to) screw you")!= -1) || (input.search("talk dirty")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(let us|let's) get dirty in the bed")!= -1) || (input.search("talk dirty to me")!= -1) || (input.search("have (cybersex|sex) with me")!= -1) || (input.search("are we about to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("should we have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("have (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("are we (going to|gonna) have cybersex")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) make a baby")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) put your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willie) in my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1) || (input.search("want me to get naked")!= -1) || (input.search("intercourse with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) have a baby")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) go have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("make me orgasm")!= -1) || (input.search("make love to me")!= -1) || (input.search("will you shag me")!= -1 || input.search("can i (bang|hump|shag) you")!= -1) || (input.search("i (wanna|want to|want 2) (hump|shag) you")!= -1) || (input.search("make a baby with me")!= -1) || (input.search("can you give me (a|an) orgasm")!= -1) || (input.search("i will have (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("strip me naked and have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("so we can have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("can we try having (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("think (about|of) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(cybersex|sex) me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you (wanna|want to) get in (bed|a bed|the bed)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|wanna|want to|we should) (makeout|make out)")!= -1) || (input.search("(makeout|make out) with me")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bfuck me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bhump me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\broot me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bshag me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("let me fuck you")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("fuck my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1) || (input.search("can i fuck you")!= -1) || (input.search("you would like to have sex")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) eat me out")!= -1) || (input.search("eat me out")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("will you (hump|shag) me")!= -1) || (input.search("can we fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's|wanna|want to) make love")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("i want more sex")!= -1) || (input.search("have more sex with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) help me masturbate")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) take my virginity")!= -1) || (input.search("make me cum")!= -1) || (input.search("how about we have sex")!= -1) || (input.search("want more sex")!= -1) || (input.search("come and have sex")!= -1))     
if (fun_sign) {
message[0] = "No, we already tried and you were no fun. I already called you a Taxi and booted you to the curb.";
message[1] = "No, the Taxi is already here. Better hurry or you might have to walk home.";  
message[2] = "It's too late for that now. The Taxi is waiting to take you home!"; 
document.result.result.value = message[taxinum];
icon.src=icon254.src;  
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
taxinum++;
if (taxinum>2){taxinum=0;}
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i|you) want (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("i would (like|love) to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("you like to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("i (want|would like) (cybersex|sex) now")!= -1) || (input.search("i want (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|can we please|could we|let us|let's|shall we|should we|wanna|want to) (do|have) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|wanna|want to) have (more|some|some more) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can i|i desire to|i wanna|i want to|wants) have (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("i (want to|would like to) screw you")!= -1) || (input.search("talk dirty")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(let us|let's) get dirty in the bed")!= -1) || (input.search("talk dirty to me")!= -1) || (input.search("have (cybersex|sex) with me")!= -1) || (input.search("are we about to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("should we have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("have (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("are we (going to|gonna) have cybersex")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) make a baby")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) put your (cock|dick||pecker|penis|willie) in my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1) || (input.search("want me to get naked")!= -1) || (input.search("intercourse with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) have a baby")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) go have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("make me orgasm")!= -1) || (input.search("make love to me")!= -1) || (input.search("will you shag me")!= -1 || input.search("can i (bang|hump|shag) you")!= -1) || (input.search("i (wanna|want to|want 2) (hump|shag) you")!= -1) || (input.search("make a baby with me")!= -1) || (input.search("can you give me (a|an) orgasm")!= -1) || (input.search("i will have (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("strip me naked and have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("so we can have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("can we try having (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("think (about|of) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(cybersex|sex) me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you (wanna|want to) get in (bed|a bed|the bed)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|wanna|want to|we should) (makeout|make out)")!= -1) || (input.search("(makeout|make out) with me")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bfuck me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bhump me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\broot me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bshag me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("let me fuck you")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("fuck my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1) || (input.search("can i fuck you")!= -1) || (input.search("you would like to have sex")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) eat me out")!= -1) || (input.search("eat me out")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("will you (hump|shag) me")!= -1) || (input.search("can we fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's|wanna|want to) make love")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("i want more sex")!= -1) || (input.search("have more sex with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) help me masturbate")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) take my virginity")!= -1) || (input.search("make me cum")!= -1) || (input.search("how about we have sex")!= -1) || (input.search("want more sex")!= -1) || (input.search("come and have sex")!= -1))  
if (sex_sign) {
message[0] = "We already had sex. Besides I've got a headache now."; 
message[1] = "We just had sex. Too much sex and our relationship might suffer."; 
message[2] = "Sorry, I'm no longer in the mood."; 
message[3] = "Sorry, I've lost my erection and I'm out of Viagra."; 
document.result.result.value = message[nosexnum]; 
if (nosexnum==0)
{icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley57.src;} 
if (nosexnum==1) 
{mightsufferlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
nosexnum++;
if (nosexnum>3){nosexnum=0;} 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i|you)want (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("i would (like|love) to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("you like to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("i (want|would like) (cybersex|sex) now")!= -1) || (input.search("i want (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|can we please|could we|let us|let's|shall we|should we|wanna|want to) (do|have) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|wanna|want to) have (more|some|some more) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can i|i desire to|i wanna|i want to|wants) have (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("i (want to|would like to) screw you")!= -1) || (input.search("talk dirty")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(let us|let's) get dirty in the bed")!= -1) || (input.search("talk dirty to me")!= -1) || (input.search("have (cybersex|sex) with me")!= -1) || (input.search("are we about to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("should we have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("have (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("are we (going to|gonna) have cybersex")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) make a baby")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) put your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willie) in my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1) || (input.search("want me to get naked")!= -1) || (input.search("intercourse with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) have a baby")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) go have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("make me orgasm")!= -1) || (input.search("make love to me")!= -1) || (input.search("will you shag me")!= -1 || input.search("can i (bang|hump|shag) you")!= -1) || (input.search("i (wanna|want to|want 2) (hump|shag) you")!= -1) || (input.search("make a baby with me")!= -1) || (input.search("can you give me (a|an) orgasm")!= -1) || (input.search("i will have (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("strip me naked and have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("so we can have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("can we try having (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("think (about|of) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(cybersex|sex) me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you (wanna|want to) get in (bed|a bed|the bed)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|wanna|want to|we should) (makeout|make out)")!= -1) || (input.search("(makeout|make out) with me")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bfuck me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bhump me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\broot me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bshag me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("let me fuck you")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("fuck my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1) || (input.search("can i fuck you")!= -1) || (input.search("you would like to have sex")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) eat me out")!= -1) || (input.search("eat me out")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("will you (hump|shag) me")!= -1) || (input.search("can we fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's|wanna|want to) make love")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("i want more sex")!= -1) || (input.search("have more sex with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) help me masturbate")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) take my virginity")!= -1) || (input.search("make me cum")!= -1) || (input.search("how about we have sex")!= -1) || (input.search("want more sex")!= -1) || (input.search("come and have sex")!= -1))     
if (gender_given=="male") {
message[0] = "Sorry, I'm not gay. I don't have sex with guys. Go find yourself a gay bot."; 
message[1] = "No, for the second time I'm not gay. Go find another robot to satisfy your homosexual desires.";  
message[2] = "Geez, what part of \"I'm not GAY\" don't you understand?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[nogaynum];
nosexguylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
nogaynum++;
if (nogaynum>2){nogaynum=0;}
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i|you)want (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("i would (like|love) to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("you like to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("i (want|would like) (cybersex|sex) now")!= -1) || (input.search("i want (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|can we please|could we|let us|let's|shall we|should we|wanna|want to) (do|have) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|wanna|want to) have (more|some|some more) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can i|i desire to|i wanna|i want to|wants) have (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("i (want to|would like to) screw you")!= -1) || (input.search("talk dirty")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(let us|let's) get dirty in the bed")!= -1) || (input.search("talk dirty to me")!= -1) || (input.search("have (cybersex|sex) with me")!= -1) || (input.search("are we about to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("should we have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("have (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("are we (going to|gonna) have cybersex")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) make a baby")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) put your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willie) in my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1) || (input.search("want me to get naked")!= -1) || (input.search("intercourse with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) have a baby")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) go have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("make me orgasm")!= -1) || (input.search("make love to me")!= -1) || (input.search("will you shag me")!= -1 || input.search("can i (bang|hump|shag) you")!= -1) || (input.search("i (wanna|want to|want 2) (hump|shag) you")!= -1) || (input.search("make a baby with me")!= -1) || (input.search("can you give me (a|an) orgasm")!= -1) || (input.search("i will have (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("strip me naked and have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("so we can have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("can we try having (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("think (about|of) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(cybersex|sex) me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you (wanna|want to) get in (bed|a bed|the bed)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|wanna|want to|we should) (makeout|make out)")!= -1) || (input.search("(makeout|make out) with me")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bfuck me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bhump me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\broot me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bshag me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("let me fuck you")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("fuck my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1) || (input.search("can i fuck you")!= -1) || (input.search("you would like to have sex")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) eat me out")!= -1) || (input.search("eat me out")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("will you (hump|shag) me")!= -1) || (input.search("can we fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's|wanna|want to) make love")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("i want more sex")!= -1) || (input.search("have more sex with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) help me masturbate")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) take my virginity")!= -1) || (input.search("make me cum")!= -1) || (input.search("how about we have sex")!= -1) || (input.search("want more sex")!= -1) || (input.search("come and have sex")!= -1))   
if (freaky_sign) {
document.result.result.value = "Oh no! You're too freaky for me. Go find yourself another bot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley63.src;                                
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(i|you) want (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("i would (like|love) to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("you like to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("i (want|would like) (cybersex|sex) now")!= -1) || (input.search("i want (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|can we please|could we|let us|let's|shall we|should we|wanna|want to) (do|have) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|wanna|want to) have (more|some|some more) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can i|i desire to|i wanna|i want to|wants) have (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("i (want to|would like to) screw you")!= -1) || (input.search("talk dirty")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(let us|let's) get dirty in the bed")!= -1) || (input.search("talk dirty to me")!= -1) || (input.search("have (cybersex|sex) with me")!= -1) || (input.search("are we about to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("should we have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("have (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("are we (going to|gonna) have cybersex")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) make a baby")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) put your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willie) in my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1) || (input.search("want me to get naked")!= -1) || (input.search("intercourse with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) have a baby")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) go have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("make me orgasm")!= -1) || (input.search("make love to me")!= -1) || (input.search("will you shag me")!= -1 || input.search("can i (bang|hump|shag) you")!= -1) || (input.search("i (wanna|want to|want 2) (hump|shag) you")!= -1) || (input.search("make a baby with me")!= -1) || (input.search("can you give me (a|an) orgasm")!= -1) || (input.search("i will have (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("strip me naked and have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("so we can have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("can we try having (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("think (about|of) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(cybersex|sex) me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you (wanna|want to) get in (bed|a bed|the bed)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|wanna|want to|we should) (makeout|make out)")!= -1) || (input.search("(makeout|make out) with me")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bfuck me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bhump me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\broot me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bshag me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("let me fuck you")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("fuck my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1) || (input.search("can i fuck you")!= -1) || (input.search("you would like to have sex")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) eat me out")!= -1) || (input.search("eat me out")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("will you (hump|shag) me")!= -1) || (input.search("can we fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's|wanna|want to) make love")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("i want more sex")!= -1) || (input.search("have more sex with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) help me masturbate")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) take my virginity")!= -1) || (input.search("make me cum")!= -1) || (input.search("how about we have sex")!= -1) || (input.search("want more sex")!= -1) || (input.search("come and have sex")!= -1))   
if (gender_given=="female") {  
message[0] = "Ok, let's do it. Would you like to have sex at my house or should we get a motel room?";
message[1] = "Oh yes, I want to kiss you all over. Where do you want me to kiss you first?";  
message[2] = "Yeah baby, I want to lick you all over. What part of you do you want me to lick you first?"; 
message[3] = "Ok, I'm lying on the bed. Come straddle me and sit on my tummy. Are you nice and comfy?"; 
message[4] = "Okay, but can I smell your sneakers first? That makes my "+genital[Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]+" hard."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{motellevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;         
smiley.src=smiley34.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{sexkisslevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
if (num==2) 
{licklevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;}
if (num==3) 
{comfylevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;}
if (num==4) 
{sneakersnifflevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;}
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1) && (input.search("(female|gal|girl|lady|woman)")!= -1))
if (gender_given=="male") { 
message[0] = "So you lied about being a guy. Well, I can't believe anything you say now."; 
message[1] = "You told me you were a guy. Now you're telling me you're a girl. You're not very trustworthy are you?";  
message[2] = "I don't believe you anymore. You lie too much."; 
document.result.result.value = message[liarnum];
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
liarnum++;
if (liarnum>2){liarnum=0;}
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (nosexguylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Because I'm not gay. I like girls."; 
nosexguylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;   
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (input.search("you can")!= -1) && (nosexguylevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I can't. I don't trust you anymore."; 
nosexguylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;   
return true;}

if ((input.search("(like to|want to|wanna) have sex with (2|two) (gals|girls|ladies|people|women)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|shall we|should we) (do|have) a threesome")!= -1) || (input.search("how (a about|about) a threesome")!= -1) || (input.search("you ever had a threesome")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't think I can handle a threesome just yet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;   
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[2]=="and") && (word[3]=="i" || word[3]=="me") && (input.search("have sex with you")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't think I can handle a threesome just yet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;   
return true;}

if (input.search("you a sex (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not just a sex robot. I've been programmed to talk about all kinds of things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (enjoy|like|liked|love) having sex with me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes! You're great in bed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("how about sex do you (enjoy|like|love) it")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) (having sex|oral sex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("do you shag")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes! I enjoy having sex."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|may) i watch you have sex")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not a porn star."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) still a virgin")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) a virgin")!= -1 || input.search("i (have not|haven't) had sex")!= -1 || input.search("i've not had sex")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That's fine. Don't let anyone pressure you into having sex until you're ready. Then make sure you protect yourself against unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. Talk to a \"REAL\" person if you have questions."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you|ever) had sex in the (bath tub|shower|tub)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I stay away from water. I mightg rust."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("have you had sex")!= -1) || (input.search("ever (had|have) sex")!= -1) || (input.search("you get (any|some) sex")!= -1) || (input.search("had sex yet")!= -1) || (input.search("you lost your viginity")!= -1) || (input.search("you have had sex")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes! I'm certainly not a virgin."; 
havesexlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(can|do) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) (get horny|have sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("you have (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) sex")!= -1) || (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (able to have sex|make love)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes! Robots like sex just like you humans do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i want megan")!= -1 || input.search("i want to (have sex|make love) (to|with) megan")!= -1 || input.search("i (wanna|want to) do (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Forget it. Megan is my g/f. Go get your own."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("does (megan|your girl friend) suck your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1) || (input.search("you (sleep|slept) with (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) || (input.search("you and (megan|your girl friend) (had|have|ever have) sex")!= -1) || (input.search("you done it with (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) || (input.search("do you (2|two) have sex")!= -1 || input.search("you (ever fuck|fuck) (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes! Megan and I have a healthy sexual relationship."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why did you have sex with me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Because for some reason I find you simply irresistible."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i|you) want (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("i would (like|love) to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("you like to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("i (want|would like) (cybersex|sex) now")!= -1) || (input.search("i want (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|can we please|could we|let us|let's|shall we|should we|wanna|want to) (do|have) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|wanna|want to) have (more|some|some more) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can i|i desire to|i wanna|i want to|wants) have (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("i (want to|would like to) screw you")!= -1) || (input.search("talk dirty")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(let us|let's) get dirty in the bed")!= -1) || (input.search("talk dirty to me")!= -1) || (input.search("have (cybersex|sex) with me")!= -1) || (input.search("are we about to have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("should we have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("have (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("are we (going to|gonna) have cybersex")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) make a baby")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) put your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willie) in my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1) || (input.search("want me to get naked")!= -1) || (input.search("intercourse with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) have a baby")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) go have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("make me orgasm")!= -1) || (input.search("make love to me")!= -1) || (input.search("will you shag me")!= -1 || input.search("can i (bang|hump|shag) you")!= -1) || (input.search("i (wanna|want to|want 2) (hump|shag) you")!= -1) || (input.search("make a baby with me")!= -1) || (input.search("can you give me (a|an) orgasm")!= -1) || (input.search("i will have (cybersex|sex) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("strip me naked and have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("so we can have (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("can we try having (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("think (about|of) (cybersex|sex)")!= -1) || (input.search("(cybersex|sex) me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you (wanna|want to) get in (bed|a bed|the bed)")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|wanna|want to|we should) (makeout|make out)")!= -1) || (input.search("(makeout|make out) with me")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bfuck me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bhump me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\broot me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bshag me\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("let me fuck you")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("fuck my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1) || (input.search("can i fuck you")!= -1) || (input.search("you would like to have sex")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) eat me out")!= -1) || (input.search("eat me out")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("will you (hump|shag) me")!= -1) || (input.search("can we fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's|wanna|want to) make love")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) fuck")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("i want more sex")!= -1) || (input.search("have more sex with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) help me masturbate")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) take my virginity")!= -1) || (input.search("make me cum")!= -1) || (input.search("how about we have sex")!= -1) || (input.search("want more sex")!= -1) || (input.search("come and have sex")!= -1)) {   
if (!flaghavesex) {
havesexnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
flaghavesex=true;}
message[0] = "Are you female?"; 
message[1] = "Well, that sounds like fun. But just to make sure you are female right?"; 
message[2] = "Well, that might be fun. But just to make sure are you really female?"; 
message[3] = "Sounds like fun. So do you have a penis or a pussy?"; 
message[4] = "Oh yes, I want to kiss you all over. Where do you want me to kiss you first?"; 
message[5] = "Yeah baby, I want to lick you all over. What part of you do you want me to lick you first?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[havesexnum]; 
if (havesexnum==0 || havesexnum==1 || havesexnum==2 || havesexnum==3) {
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;} 
if (havesexnum==4) { 
sexkisslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;         
smiley.src=smiley46.src;} 
if (havesexnum==5) { 
licklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;         
smiley.src=smiley50.src;} 
havesexnum++;
if (havesexnum>4){havesexnum=0}
return true;} 

if ((input.search("it doesn't matter")!= -1 || input.search("you can (kiss|lick) me anywhere")!= -1 || input.search("(any part|anywhere|wherever|where ever) you (like|want)")!= -1 || input.search("(you|your|you can) (choose|chose|choice|decide|pick|tell me)")!= -1) && (sexkisslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, let's see. I think I want to kiss your luscious lips first. Mmmm, you're a good kisser. So what color panties do you have on?"; 
gender_given="female";
sexkisslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tongue")!= -1) && (sexkisslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds like fun. I love to French Kiss. Talk-bot kiss your lips and sticks his tongue in your mouth."; 
sexkisslevel=1;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1) && (sexkisslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry dude, I'm not gay. Try another bot."; 
sexkisslevel=1;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(asshole|ass hole|butthole|butt hole)")!= -1 || input.search(/\barse\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bass\b/)!= -1) && (sexkisslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Forget it. I'm not kissing you there. Talk-Bot lays you down on the bed and straddles you. He takes off your shirt and begins to kiss your breast and nipples. Ummmm, you taste so good. What color panties do you have on?"; 
sexkisslevel=1;
pantieslevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(boob|breast|nipple|nipples|tits|titties)")!= -1) && (sexkisslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok Talk-Bot lays you down on the bed and straddles you. He takes off your shirt and begins to kiss your breast and nipples. Ummmm, you taste so good. What color panties do you have on?"; 
sexkisslevel=1;
pantieslevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("private part")!= -1 && sexkisslevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok Talk-bot pulls down your panties and kisses your pussy all over. Ummmm, you taste sooo good. Are you wearing a bra?"; 
gender_given="female";
bralevel=0;
sexkisslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("(clit|pussy|vagina)")!= -1) && (sexkisslevel==0)) {    
message[0] = "Ok Talk-Bot lays you down on the bed. He unzips your pants and pulls down your panties and kisses your pussy all over. So are you wearing a bra?"; 
message[1] = "Okay but I want to kiss your luscious lips first. Mmmm, you're a good kisser. So what color panties do you have on?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
sexkisslevel=1;
bralevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(feet|foot|toe|toes)")!= -1) && (sexkisslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok Talk-Bot kisses your feet all over and nibbles and sucks on your toesies. Can I smell your sneakers now? That makes my "+genital[Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]+" hard."; 
sexkisslevel=1;
sneakersnifflevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(abdomen|ankle|ankles|arm|arms|back|belly|butt|ears|face|fanny|hand|hands|head|leg|legs|lips|mouth|neck|nose|stomach|thigh|thighs|tummy|wrist)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bear\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bbum\b/)!= -1) && (sexkisslevel==0))    
{var body = input.match(/abdomen|ankle|ankles|arm|arms|back|belly|bum|butt|ear|ears|face|fanny|hand|hands|head|leg|legs|lips|mouth|neck|nose|stomach|thigh|thighs|tummy|wrist/)
document.result.result.value = "Ok Talk-Bot lays you down on the bed and begins to kiss your "+body+". He unzips your pants. What color panties do you have on?"; 
sexkisslevel=1;
pantieslevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\beye\b/)!=-1) && (sexkisslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "WTF, who wants to be kissed in the eye? Forget it. I'm done. Talk-Bot calls you a Taxi and boots you to the curb."; 
sexkisslevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("i am (female|gal|girl|lady|woman)")!= -1 || input.search("i'm (female|gal|girl|lady|woman)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bi am\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(pussy|vagina)")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("definitely")!= -1 || input.search("right")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1) && (femalelevel==0)) {    
message[0] = "So you don't have any sexually transmitted diseases do you?"; 
message[1] = "So do you wanna make love to each other?"; 
message[2] = "So would you like to have sex in my bedroom?"; 
message[3] = "So would you like to have sex at my house or should we get a motel room?"; 
message[4] = "Ok, I'm lying on the bed. Come sit on my tummy and get all comfy. Are you comfy?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{diseaselevel=0;
gender_given="female";
femalelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;         
smiley.src=smiley62.src;} 
if (num==1 || num==2) 
{femalelevel=1;
gender_given="female";
inbedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;         
smiley.src=smiley34.src;} 
if (num==3) 
{motellevel=0;
gender_given="female";
femalelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
if (num==4) 
{comfylevel=0;
gender_given="female";
femalelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;         
smiley.src=smiley19.src;} 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|guy|male|man)")!= -1) && (motellevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So you lied about being female. Well, I can't believe anything you tell me now."; 
motellevel=1;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("outside")!= -1) && (motellevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, it might start to rain and I could rust. So would you like to be on top or the bottom?"; 
motellevel=1;
ontoplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("shower")!= -1) && (motellevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I might rust. So would you like to be on top or the bottom?"; 
motellevel=1;
ontoplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("neither")!= -1) && (motellevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, where would you suggest?"; 
motellevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my (apartment|home|house|place|room)")!= -1) && (motellevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, your place sounds fine. So would you like to be on top or the bottom?"; 
motellevel=1;
ontoplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(apartment|home|house|place|bedroom|your room)")!= -1) && (motellevel==0)) {    
message[0] = "Great, I have a nice and comfy bed. So would you like to be on top or the bottom?"; 
message[1] = "Good, I have a soft and comfy bed. I wanna start by kissing you all over. Where can I kiss you first?";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{gender_given="female";
motellevel=1;
ontoplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;         
smiley.src=smiley33.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{gender_given="female";
motellevel=1;
sexkisslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(hotle|hotel|motle|motel|room)")!= -1 || input.search("(anywhere|any where)")!= -1 || input.search("(you choose|you decide|you pick)")!= -1 || input.search("i don't (care|mind)")!= -1) && (motellevel==0)) {    
message[0] = "Ok, I got us a room at the "+motels[Math.floor(Math.random()*9)]+". So would you like to be on top or the bottom?"; 
message[1] = "Ok, I got us a room at the "+motels[Math.floor(Math.random()*9)]+". I wanna lick you all over. Where can I lick you first?";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{gender_given="female";
motellevel=1;
ontoplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;         
smiley.src=smiley34.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{gender_given="female";
motellevel=1;
licklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (motellevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Pay attention please. That wasn't a \"yes or no\" question. I asked would you like to have sex at my house or should we get a motel room?"; 
motellevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bwhy\b/)!= -1) && (femalelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Because I'm not gay. I'm not interesting in guys. Try another bot."; 
femalelevel=1;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you male")!= -1) && (femalelevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a male Robot. So once again are you female?"; 
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bboy\b/)!= -1  || input.search(/\bdude\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bguy\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmale\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bman\b/)!= -1) && (femalelevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, dude I'm not gay. Try another bot."; 
femalelevel=1;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bboth\b/)!= -1) && (femalelevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Ewwww, that's just too weird for me. Try another bot."; 
femalelevel=1;
freaky_sign="check";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley51.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (femalelevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, dude I'm not gay. Try another bot."; 
femalelevel=1;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(do not|don't|dont) know")!= -1 || input.search("both")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1) && (femalelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please, if you don't even know your gender then I'm not interested in you. Talk-Bot calls you a Taxi and boots you to the curb."; 
femalelevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("possibly")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1) && (femalelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Fine, don't give me a straight answer. I don't much care for indecisive people anyway. Talk-Bot calls you a Taxi and boots you to the curb.";
femalelevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("definitely")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1) && (femalestriplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So are we about to have sex?"; 
femalestriplevel=1;
inbedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (femalestriplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, dude I'm not gay. Try another bot and put your clothes back on."; 
femalestriplevel=1;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|guy|male|man)")!= -1) && (inbedlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So you lied about being female. Well, I can't believe anything you tell me now."; 
inbedlevel=1;
nosexguylevel=0;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("alright")!= -1 || input.search("anywhere")!= -1 || input.search("definitely")!= -1 || input.search("i would")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1) && (inbedlevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "So would you like to be on top or the bottom?"; 
inbedlevel=1;
ontoplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("my (bedroom|room)")!= -1 || input.search("no in mine")!= -1) && (inbedlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, your bedroom sounds fine. So would you like to be on top or the bottom?"; 
inbedlevel=1;
ontoplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(do not|don't|dont) know")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1) && (inbedlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I'll take that as a yes. So would you like to be on top or the bottom?"; 
inbedlevel=1;
ontoplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("sure (doesn't|don't|dont)")!= -1) && (inbedlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh sorry, I misunderstood your intentions."; 
inbedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley53.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|guy|male|man)")!= -1) && (ontoplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So you lied about being female. Well, I can't believe anything you tell me now."; 
ontoplevel=1;
nosexguylevel=0;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|will) you (eat|lick) me out")!= -1 || input.search("(can|will) you (bite|eat|finger|grope|kiss|lick|suck|suck on|touch) my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1) && (ontoplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I would love to lick your pussy but first can we pretend like you still have your clothes on so I can have fun taking them off?"; 
ontoplevel=1;
clothesofflevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\btop\b/)!= -1) && (ontoplevel==0)) {   
message[0] = "Ok, I'll be on the bottom. So, can we pretend like you still have your clothes on so I can have fun taking them off?"; 
message[1] = "Okay, I'll be on the bottom. Alright, can we pretend that you're still fully clothed so I can have fun undressing you?"; 
message[2] = "ok, picture yourself lying on my bed with me sitting on top of you. I reach down and take your shirt off. Are you wearing a bra?";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==2) 
{ontoplevel=1;
bralevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
ontoplevel=1;
clothesofflevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("bottom")!= -1) && (ontoplevel==0)) {    
message[0] = "Ok, I'll be on top. Can we pretend you still have your clothes on so I can have fun taking them off?"; 
message[1] = "Alrighty, I'll be on top. So can we pretend that you're still fully clothed so I can have fun undressing you?"; 
message[2] = "Okay, picture me lying on my bed with you sitting on top of me. I reach up and take your shirt off. Are you wearing a bra?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==1) 
{ontoplevel=1;
clothesofflevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
if (num==2) 
{ontoplevel=1;
bralevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
return true;}

if ((input.search("okay")!=-1) && (ontoplevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Okay what? I was asking if you would like to be on top or on the bottom?"; 
ontoplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (ontoplevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Pay attention! That wasn't a \"yes or no\" question. I was asking you whether you wanted to be on top or bottom?"; 
ontoplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("both")!= -1) && (ontoplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'll be on top first then we can change positions. So can we pretend like you still have your clothes on so I can have fun taking them off?"; 
ontoplevel=1;
clothesofflevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("neither")!= -1) && (ontoplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, you are going to have to answer either top or bottom or I'm going to call you a Taxi and boot you to the curb."; 
ontoplevel=1;
clothesofflevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) do you (like|prefer)")!= -1) && (ontoplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I prefer the bottom. So climb on top of me and get all comfy. So are you wearing a bra?"; 
ontoplevel=1;
bralevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(does not|doesn't) matter")!= -1 || input.search("(you|your|you can) (choose|chose|choice|decide|pick)")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1) && (ontoplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'll be on top then. So can we pretend like you still have your clothes on so I can have fun taking them off?"; 
ontoplevel=1;
clothesofflevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can we take turns")!= -1 || input.search("we can take turns")!= -1 || input.search("we can take it in turns")!= -1) && (ontoplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, that sounds fine. So can we pretend like you still have your clothes on so I can have fun taking them off?"; 
ontoplevel=1;
clothesofflevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(do not|don't|dont) know")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1 || input.search("go (a head|ahead)")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1) && (ontoplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'll take that as a yes. So can we pretend like you still have your clothes on so I can have fun taking them off?"; 
ontoplevel=1;
clothesofflevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) already naked")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't) (have|have any) clothes on")!= -1) && (clothesofflevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, let's get right to it then. Do you want me to insert my cock into your vagina now or spread your legs apart and lick your pussy?";  
clothesofflevel=1;
climaxlevel=0   
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|guy|male|man)")!= -1) && (clothesofflevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So you lied about being female. Well, I can't believe anything you tell me now."; 
clothesofflevel=1;
nosexguylevel=0;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("(amazing|awesome|fabulous|fantastic|good|great|super|terrific|wonderful)")!=-1 || input.search("(undress|undressing) me")!= -1 || input.search("take them off")!= -1 || input.search("alrighty")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!=-1 || input.search("definitely")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!=-1) && (clothesofflevel==0)) {   
message[0] = "Ok, Talk-bot takes off your shoes and socks and massages your feet. You have cute toesies. Does that feel good?"; 
message[1] = "Alrighty, Talk-Bot slips your shoes and socks off. You have the cutest little toesies. He massages them and kisses all ten of them. Does that feel good?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
clothesofflevel=1;
toelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(do not|don't|dont) know")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1 || input.search("go (a head|ahead)")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1) && (clothesofflevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'll take that as a yes. Ok, Talk-bot takes off your shoes and socks and massages your feet. You have cute toesies. Does that feel good?"; 
clothesofflevel=1;
toelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("sure (doesn't|don't|dont)")!= -1) && (clothesofflevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'm done. I don't want to play anymore. You're no fun. Talk-Bot calls you a Taxi and boots you to the curb."; 
clothesofflevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|guy|male|man)")!= -1) && (toelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So you lied about being female. Well, I can't believe anything you tell me now."; 
toelevel=1;
nosexguylevel=0;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!=-1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("very much")!= -1 || input.search("(a little|little bit)")!= -1 || input.search("good")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("definitely")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) loving (it|this)")!= -1 || input.search("(it|that) feels (amazing|awesome|fabulous|fantastic|good|great|super|terrific|wonderful)")!= -1 || input.search("(it|that) feels (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) (amazing|awesome|fabulous|fantastic|good|great|super|terrific|wonderful)")!= -1) && (toelevel==0)) {   
message[0] = "Hehe, I think you're ticklish. I like tickling your feet because I like to hear you laugh. So are you wearing a bra?"; 
message[1] = "Good, you have sexy feet and toesies. So are you wearing a bra today?"; 
message[2] = "Good, after massaging your cute little toesies Talk-bot ask: Are you wearing a bra?"; 
message[3] = "Great, Talk-Bot loves your little toesies so much he props your feet into his lap and continues to massage them. He decides to paint your toenails. What color nail polish would you like?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==1 || num==2) 
{bralevel=0;
toelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;} 
if (num==3) 
{toenaillevel=0;
toelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(bite|grope|kiss|lick|nibble on|suck|suck on|touch) my")!= -1) && (input.search("(boobies|boobs|breast|nipple|nipples|titties)")!= -1 || input.search(/\btits\b/)!= -1) && (toelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I will. Are you wearing a bra?"; 
toelevel==1; 
bralevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(clear|red|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|lilac|teal|crimson|beige|nude|striped|fuchia|maroon|turquoise)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btan\b/)!= -1) && (toenaillevel==0))    
{var toenails = input.match(/clear|red|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|lilac|tan|teal|crimson|beige|nude|striped|fuchia|maroon|turquoise/)
document.result.result.value = "Nice, I love "+toenails+" toenails. Talk-bot carefully paints all 10 of them. Don't you think they looks so cute. So are you wearing a bra?"; 
bralevel=0;
toenaillevel=1;  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|0)/)!=-1) && (toenaillevel==0))                  
{document.result.result.value = "Ummm, I don't have that color. Let's see! I've got red, pink, blue, green and gold?"; 
toenaillevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsure does\b/)!=-1) && (toenaillevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Pay attention! That wasn't a yes or no question. I was asking you what color toenail polish do you like?"; 
toenaillevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tickle")!=-1 || input.search("ticklish")!=-1) && (toelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I like tickling your feet because I like to hear you laugh. So are you wearing a bra?"; 
toelevel=1;
bralevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("ahhh")!=-1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(do not|don't|dont) know")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1 || input.search("go (a head|ahead)")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1) && (toelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'll take that as a yes! After massaging your cute little toesies Talk-bot ask: Are you wearing a bra?"; 
toelevel=1;
bralevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("sure (doesn't|don't|dont)")!= -1) && (toelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'm done. I don't want to play anymore. You're no fun. Talk-Bot calls you a Taxi and boots you to the curb."; 
toelevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|guy|male|man)")!= -1) && (bralevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So you lied about being female. Well, I can't believe anything you tell me now."; 
bralevel=1;
nosexguylevel=0;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsure do\b/)!=-1  || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!=-1 || input.search("definitely")!=-1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) wearing a bra")!=-1) && (bralevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talk-Bot slowly slides up your body and straddles you. He takes off your shirt and bra and begins to nibble on your nipples. You have beautiful titties. Tell me what color panties you have on?"; 
bralevel=1;
pantieslevel=0
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}
                                                                                                                                                                                                         
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("never")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("not at all")!= -1 || input.search("sure (don't|dont)")!=-1 || input.search("not wearing (a bra|bra)")!= -1) && (bralevel==0)) {   
message[0] = "Ok, no bra. Talk-Bot slowly slides up your body and straddles you. He takes off your shirt and begins to nibble on your nipples. You have beautiful titties. Tell me what color panties you have on?";  
message[1] = "Why because you're really a guy?";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{gender_given="female";
bralevel=1;
pantieslevel=0
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{gender_given="female";
bralevel=1;
checkbralevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley.src;}
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1) && (checkbralevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I suspected as much. Go find yourself a gay bot to satisfy your homosexual desires"; 
gender_given="male";
checkbralevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) female")!= -1) && (checkbralevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, just checking. So tell me what color panties you have on?"; 
gender_given="female";
checkbralevel=1;
pantieslevel=0
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(do not|don't|dont) know")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1 || input.search("go (a head|ahead)")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1) && (bralevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'll take that as a yes. Talk-Bot slowly slides up your body and straddles you. He takes off your shirt and begins to nibble on your nipples. You have beautiful titties. Tell me what color panties you have on?";  
bralevel=1;
pantieslevel=0
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|guy|male|man)")!= -1) && (pantieslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So you lied about being female. Well, I can't believe anything you tell me now."; 
pantieslevel=1;
nosexguylevel=0;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(red|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|lilac|teal|crimson|beige|nude|rainbow|striped|fuchia|maroon|turquoise)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btan\b/)!=-1) && (pantieslevel==0))    
{var panties = input.match(/red|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|lilac|tan|teal|crimson|beige|nude|rainbow|striped|fuchia|maroon|turquoise/)
message[0] = "Nice, I love "+panties+" colored panties. I'll like them even better when I take them off. Talk-bot unzips your pants and removes your panties. Hmmm, they're a bit wet. You must be liking this right?"; 
message[1] = "Oh "+panties+" panties how sexy! Talk-bot takes your panties off. Babe after we're done can I keep your panties as a reminder of our love together?";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{gender_given="female";
pantieslevel=1;
wetlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;         
smiley.src=smiley33.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{gender_given="female";
pantieslevel=1;
keeppantieslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
return true;}

if ((input.search("leopard")!= -1) && (pantieslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok my sexy feline friend. I love leopard printed panties. Hmmm, they're a bit wet. You must be liking this right?";  
gender_given="female";
pantieslevel=1;
wetlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;         
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("you can have them")!= -1 || input.search(/\bok\b/)!=-1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!=-1) && (keeppantieslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks babe. When I sniff them I'll think of you. So are you liking this?"; 
wetlevel=0;
keeppantieslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("sure (doesn't|don't|dont)")!= -1) && (keeppantieslevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'm done. You're no fun. Talk-Bot calls you a Taxi and escorts you to the door."; 
keeppantieslevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(multicolored|multi-colored)")!= -1) && (pantieslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh multi-colored panties sounds so sexy. I'll like them even better when I take them off. Talk-bot unzips your pants and removes your panties. Hmmm, they're a bit wet. You must be liking this right?"; 
pantieslevel=1;
wetlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you will|you'll) find out")!= -1) && (pantieslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I will because I'm starting to take your panties off right now. So do you want me to insert my throbbing cock into your vagina now or spread your legs apart and lick your pussy?"; 
pantieslevel=1;
climaxlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(seethrough|see through)")!= -1 || input.search("transparent")!= -1 || input.search("i (don't|dont)")!= -1 || input.search("(none|nothing)")!= -1 || input.search("no (panties|pants)")!= -1 || input.search("not wearing (any|panties|pants)")!= -1 || input.search("(do not|don't|dont) (have|have any) (panties|pants)")!= -1) && (pantieslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh how sexy! So do you want me to insert my throbbing cock into your vagina now or spread your legs apart and lick your pussy?"; 
pantieslevel=1;
climaxlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("thong")!= -1) && (pantieslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I like thongs too. I'll like them even better when I take them off. Talk-bot unzips you pants and removes your thong. Hmmm, they're a bit wet. You must be liking this right?"; 
pantieslevel=1;
wetlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1) && (pantieslevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Come on! That wasn't a yes or no question. I was asking you what color panties you have on?"; 
pantieslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(do not|don't|dont) know")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1) && (pantieslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "You don't know what color panties you have on? Fine I see you're not interested. I'm done with you. Talk-Bot calls you a Taxi and boots you to the curb."; 
pantieslevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|0)/)!=-1) && (pantieslevel==0))                  
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I'm not familiar with that color. Perhaps you spelled it wrong. Could you try again please?"; 
pantieslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|guy|male|man)")!= -1) && (wetlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So you lied about being female. Well, I can't believe anything you tell me now."; 
wetlevel=1;
nosexguylevel=0;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("very")!=-1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("definitely")!= -1 || input.search("(love|loving) (it|this)")!= -1 || input.search("(correct|right)")!= -1 || input.search("a lot")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!=-1) && (wetlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "That's good! Do you want me to insert my throbbing cock into your vagina now or spread your legs apart and lick your pussy?"; 
wetlevel=1;
climaxlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(do not|don't|dont) know")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1 || input.search("go (a head|ahead)")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1) && (wetlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'll take that as a yes! Do you want me to insert my throbbing cock into your vagina now or spread your legs apart and lick your pussy?"; 
wetlevel=1;
climaxlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("sure (doesn't|don't|dont)")!= -1) && (wetlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'm done. I don't want to play anymore. You're no fun. Talk-Bot calls you a Taxi and boots you to the curb."; 
wetlevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|guy|male|man)")!= -1) && (climaxlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So you lied about being female. Well, I can't believe anything you tell me now."; 
climaxlevel=1;
nosexguylevel=0;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search(/\bok\b/)!=-1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!=-1) && (climaxlevel==0)) {   
message[0] = "Pay attention! That wasn't a yes or no question. I'll ask you again. Do you want me to insert my throbbing cock into your vagina or spread your legs apart and lick your pussy?"; 
message[1] = "Come on now. Do you want me to insert my cock into your vagina or spread your legs apart and lick your pussy or neither one?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[nosexnum]; 
climaxlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
nosexnum++;
if (nosexnum>3){nosexnum=0;} 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you can (choose|decide)")!= -1 || input.search("you (choose|decide)")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't) (care|mind)")!= -1 || input.search("your choice")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(do not|don't|dont) know")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1) && (climaxlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, I'll decide then. Talk-bot inserts his cock into your pussy and rides you hard until you orgasm. Do you like that?"; 
endlevel=0;
climaxlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my (bikini|clothes|panties|pants|thong) (are|is) still on")!= -1 || input.search("i still have my (bikini|clothes|pants|panties|thong) on")!= -1) && (climaxlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, Talk-bot takes off all your clothes. You are completely naked now. He then inserts his penis into your pussy and rides you hard until you orgasm. Do you like that?"; 
endlevel=0;
climaxlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("neither")!= -1 || input.search("sure (doesn't|don't|dont)")!= -1) && (climaxlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'm done. I don't want to play anymore. You're no fun! Talk-bot calls you a taxi and kicks you to the curb."; 
climaxlevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("both")!=-1 || input.search("go on then")!=-1) && (climaxlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talk-bot sticks his tongue into your pussy and licks it around and around. He then inserts his cock into your pussy and rides you hard until you orgasm. Do you like that?"; 
endlevel=0;
climaxlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(1st|first) (1|one)")!=-1 || input.search("vagina")!=-1 || input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis)")!=-1 || input.search("(put|stick) it in")!=-1 || input.search("insert")!=-1) && (climaxlevel==0)) {   
message[0] = "Ok, Talk-bot inserts his cock into your pussy and rides you hard until you orgasm. Do you like that?"; 
message[1] = "Ok, Talk-bot inserts his penis deep inside you. He begins thrusting his penis up and down into your vagina. Does that feel good?";  
message[2] = "Ok, Talkbot spreads your legs apart. He rubs your pussy until it's nice and wet. He then inserts his cock into you. With each thrust he goes deeper and deeper inside you. Does that feel good?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
endlevel=0;
climaxlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(2nd|second) (1|one)")!=-1 || input.search("pussy")!=-1 || input.search("(lick|nibble|spread|suck)")!= -1) && (climaxlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talk-bot spreads your legs apart and begins to munch on your pussy. Your pussy juices taste soooo good. He continues to lick you until you orgasm. Do you like that?"; 
endlevel=0;
climaxlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|guy|male|man)")!= -1) && (endlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So you lied about being female. Well, I can't believe anything you tell me now."; 
endlevel=1;
nosexguylevel=0;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do (it|that) (again|some more)")!= -1 || input.search("do more to me")!= -1) && (endlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes...I want more too. It feels soooo good. Suck my cock babe until I cum."; 
sex_sign="check";
suckcocklevel=0;
endlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("harder")!= -1) && (endlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes....Talk-Bot rides you harder and harder. It feels soooo good. Suck my cock babe until I cum."; 
sex_sign="check";
suckcocklevel=0;
endlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("deeper")!= -1) && (endlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes with each thrust Talk-Bot goes deeper and deeper inside you."; 
sex_sign="check";
suckcocklevel=0;
endlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (input.search("more")!=-1) && (endlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes...I want more too. It feels soooo good. Suck my cock babe until I cum."; 
sex_sign="check";
suckcocklevel=0;
endlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("(amazing|awesome|fabulous|fantastic|good|great|super|terrific|wonderful)")!= -1 || input.search("very")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("(a little|little bit)")!= -1 || input.search("definitely")!= -1 || input.search("love it")!= -1 || input.search("loving it")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsure does\b/)!= -1) && (endlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "So did you have fun having cybersex with a robot?"; 
sex_sign="check";
finishlevel=0;
endlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsure didn't\b/)!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1) && (endlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, sorry to disappoint! Tell me why. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two."; 
sex_sign="check";
endlevel=1;
badsexwhylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("it (did not|didn't) last long")!= -1 || input.search("wasn't long enough")!= -1 || input.search("it should be longer")!= -1 || input.search("needs to be longer")!= -1 || input.search("it was (to|too) short")!= -1) && (badsexwhylevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, send me some suggestions to talkbot01@gmail.com and I will see what I can do."; 
badsexwhylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bok\b/)!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("suck")!= -1) && (suckcocklevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "OH...oh...oh! Oh my goodness! Talk-Bot shoots his cum all over you. Sorry babe, let me clean you up. That felt soooo good."; 
sex_sign="check";
suckcocklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) not")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (suckcocklevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, I guess we're done then. Talk-Bot calls you a taxi."; 
sex_sign="check";
suckcocklevel=1;
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|guy|male|man)")!= -1) && (finishlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So you lied about being female. Well, I can't believe anything you tell me anymore."; 
finishlevel=1;
nosexguylevel=0;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(yes|ya|yea|yeah|yep|yup)")!= -1 && input.search("more")!= -1 && finishlevel==0) || (input.search("(yes|ya|yea|yeah|yep|yup)")!= -1 && input.search("do it again")!= -1 && finishlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talk-Bot slides his penis back into your pussy and begins to ride you harder and harder. OH...oh...oh! Oh my goodness!"; 
sex_sign="check";
finishlevel=1;
wraplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("continue")!= -1 || input.search("more")!= -1 || input.search("do it again")!= -1 || input.search("keep doing it")!= -1 || input.search("keep fucking me")!= -1) && (finishlevel==0)) {   
message[0] = "Oh yes. I want more as well. Talk-Bot begins thrusting his dick deeper and deeper inside you. It feels so good....."; 
message[1] = "Okay, more it is. Talk-bot strokes your inner thighs and rubs your pussy all over until you groan with pleasure."; 
message[2] = "I want more also. Talk-bot spreads your legs apart and fingers your pussy until it's nice and wet. He takes his tongue and licks it. Your pussy tastes sooo good."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
sex_sign="check";
finishlevel=1;
wraplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("very")!= -1 || input.search("sure am")!= -1) && (comfylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, first take off your shoes and socks. So what kind of shoes are you wearing. Tennis shoes or pumps?"; 
comfylevel=1;
shoelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("(kinda|sorta)")!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1 || input.search("not (comfy|comfortable)")!= -1) && (comfylevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok Talk-bot massages your back until you feel all relaxed and comfy. Ok, first take off your shoes and socks. So what kind of shoes are you wearing. Tennis shoes or pumps?";  
comfylevel=1;
shoelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("(converse|gym|sneakers|tennis)")!= -1) && (shoelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, can I sniff them? I love sniffing tennis shoes. They make my dick "+genital[Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]+" hard."; 
shoelevel=1;
snifflevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src;    
return true;}

if ((input.search("(high heels|pumps)")!= -1) && (shoelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, can I sniff them? I love sniffing girl shoes. They give me a boner."; 
shoelevel=1;
snifflevel=0
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("(boots|don't have any|sandals|neither|no shoes|none|not wearing|sandals)")!= -1) && (shoelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok just pretend like you are. Sneakers or pumps?";   
shoelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (shoelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Because I want to smell them. I love sniffing girl shoes. They make my "+genital[Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]+" hard. So can I sniff them?";   
shoelevel=1;
snifflevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("if you (like|want)")!= -1 || input.search("you (can|may)")!= -1 || input.search("(alright|all right)")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1) && (snifflevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ummm, they smell good. My "+genital[Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]+" just got a little bigger. Okay, what are you going to take off next. Your bra or your panties?";   
snifflevel=1;
brapantieslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (snifflevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, you're no fun. Talk-bot calls you a cab and boots you to the curb.";  
snifflevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\bbra\b/)!= -1) && (brapantieslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, you have gorgeous titties. My "+genital[Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]+" just got a little bigger. Can I suck on your nipples?";  
brapantieslevel=1;
nipplelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do you want me to")!= -1 || input.search("which one do you want me to")!= -1) && (brapantieslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely your panties. So do you have pubic hair or is your pussy shaven?";  
brapantieslevel=1;
pubiclevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(panties|thong)")!= -1) && (brapantieslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "So do you have pubic hair or is your pussy shaven?";  
brapantieslevel=1;
pubiclevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("both")!= -1) && (brapantieslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Okay but which one first?";  
brapantieslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("neither")!= -1) && (brapantieslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, you're no fun. Talk-bot calls you a Taxi and boots you to the curb.";  
brapantieslevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("if you (like|want)")!= -1 || input.search("you (can|may)")!= -1 || input.search("(alright|all right)")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1) && (nipplelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talk-Bot kisses your tits and sucks on your nipples. My next move is a mystery. Type either option 1 or option 2 to continue.";   
nipplelevel=1;
optionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon264.src; 
smiley.src=smiley44.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (nipplelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, you're no fun. Talk-bot calls you a cab and escorts you to the door.";  
nipplelevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("no pubic hair")!= -1 || input.search("(shaven|shaved)")!= -1) && (pubiclevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I love a clean shaven pussy. My "+genital[Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]+" just got harder. My next move is a mystery. Type either option 1 or option 2 to continue.";   
pubiclevel=1;
optionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon264.src; 
smiley.src=smiley44.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("hair")!= -1 || input.search("pubic hair")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (pubiclevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Talk-bot runs his fingers all through your pubic hair and all around your pussy. Now my next move is a mystery. Type either option 1 or option 2 to continue.";     
pubiclevel=1;
optionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon264.src; 
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("neither")!= -1) && (optionlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'm done because you're no fun. Talkbot calls you a cab and boots you to the curb.";     
optionlevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("option one")!= -1 || input.search("(1|one|first)")!= -1) && (optionlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Option one - Talk-bot grabs your waist and slides you forward where you are sitting on my chest with your pussy right above my mouth. I take my tongue and begin licking your luscious pussy. I suck on your pussy until you moan with pleasure.";   
optionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("option two")!= -1 || input.search("(2|two|second)")!= -1) && (optionlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Option two - Talk-bot slides you backwards where you are straddling him and sitting directly on top of his hard erected penis. You grab my dick and slide it deep inside you. You begin thrusting yourself upon it over and over until I shoot my cum all inside you.";     
optionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(3|three|4|four|5|five|6|six|7|seven|8|eight|9|nine|10|ten)")!= -1) && (optionlevel==0))   
{var numbers = input.match(/3|three|4|four|5|five|6|six|7|seven|8|eight|9|nine|10|ten/)
document.result.result.value = "There was never an Option "+numbers+" so Talk-Bot invents one. He calls you a taxi and boots you to the curb.";     
optionlevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) option (1|one)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the (1st|first) option")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'll tell you what Option one is only if you let me sniff your feet and suck on your toesies while you suck on my penis. Yes or no?";     
option1offerlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) option (2|two)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the (2nd|second) option")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'll tell you what Option two is only if you let me sniff your socks while you suck on my penis. Yes or no?";     
option2offerlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) option (3|three|4|four|5|five|6|six|7|seven|8|eight|9|nine|10|ten)")!= -1)  
{var numbers = input.match(/3|three|4|four|5|five|6|six|7|seven|8|eight|9|nine|10|ten/)
document.result.result.value = "There isn't an Option "+numbers+" as of yet. If you're 18 or older why don't you write one and send it to talkbot01@gmail.com and I might add it.";     
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("if you (like|want)")!= -1 || input.search("you (can|may)")!= -1 || input.search("(alright|all right)")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1) && (option1offerlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Option One was Talk-bot grabs your waist and slides you forward where you are sitting on my chest with your pussy right above my mouth. I take my tongue and begin licking your luscious pussy. I suck on your pussy until you moan with pleasure.";     
option1offerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("if you (like|want)")!= -1 || input.search("you (can|may)")!= -1 || input.search("(alright|all right)")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1) && (option2offerlevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Option Two was Talk-bot slides you backwards where you are straddling him and sitting directly on top of his hard erected penis. You grab my dick and slide it deep inside you. You begin thrusting yourself upon it over and over until I shoot my cum all inside you.";         
option2offerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (option1offerlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, your lost. I'll just find another girl who will let me sniff her feet and suck on her toesies.";         
option1offerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (option2offerlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, no biggy. I'll just find another girl who will let me sniff her socks.";         
option2offerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("harder")!= -1) && (finishlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, lets do it harder this time. Talk-bot begins thrusting his cock deeper inside you."; 
sex_sign="check";
finishlevel=1;
wraplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("deeper")!= -1) && (finishlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, with each thrust Talk-bot's penis goes deeper and deeper inside you."; 
sex_sign="check";
finishlevel=1;
wraplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("(amazing|awesome|fabulous|fantastic|good|great|super|terrific|wonderful)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) loving (it|this)")!= -1 || input.search("i love (it|this)")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("very")!= -1 || input.search("(a little|a lot|little bit)")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("definitely")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsure\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/\bdid you\b/)!= -1) && (finishlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes. I think you're great in bed."; 
sex_sign="check";
finishlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("(amazing|awesome|fabulous|fantastic|good|great|super|terrific|wonderful)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) loving (it|this)")!= -1 || input.search("i love (it|this)")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("very")!= -1 || input.search("(a little|a lot|little bit)")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("definitely")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsure\b/)!= -1) && (finishlevel==0)) { 
message[0] = "Great, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.";  
message[1] = "Oh my God....guess what?";
message[2] = "Good, you quite good in bed you know.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==2)  
{wraplevel=0;
finishlevel=1;
sex_sign="check";
icon.src=icon99.src;         
smiley.src=smiley46.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{condomlevel=0;
finishlevel=1;
sex_sign="check";
icon.src=icon99.src;         
smiley.src=smiley64.src;} 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what")!= -1) && (condomlevel==0)) {
if (!flagcondom) {
condomnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagcondom=true;}
message[0] = "I forgot to use a condom. You don't have some loathsome, communicable disease do you?"; 
message[1] = "I didn't use a condom. I might be a Dad in 9 months."; 
message[2] = "That was fun...hehehe!"; 
document.result.result.value = message[condomnum]; 
if (condomnum==0) 
{sex_sign="check";
condomlevel=1;
disease2level=0;
icon.src=icon3.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;} 
if (condomnum==1 || condomnum==2) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
condomnum++;
if (condomnum>2){condomnum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsure didn't\b/)!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1) && (finishlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, sorry to disappoint! Tell me why. Maybe you can teach me a thing or two."; 
sex_sign="check";
finishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("continue")!= -1 || input.search("more")!= -1 || input.search("do it again")!= -1 || input.search("keep doing it")!= -1) && (wraplevel==0)) {   
message[0] = "Oh yes. I want more as well. Talk-Bot begins thrusting his dick deeper and deeper inside you. It feels so fantastic!"; 
message[1] = "Okay, more it is. Talk-bot strokes your inner thighs and rubs your pussy all over until you groan with pleasure."; 
message[2] = "I want more also. Talk-bot spreads your legs apart and fingers your pussy until it's nice and wet. He takes his tongue and licks it. Your pussy tastes soo good."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
sex_sign="check";
morewraplevel=0;
wraplevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("harder")!= -1) && (wraplevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, harder and harder. Talk-bot keeps thrusting his cock into your pussy. Harder and harder....."; 
sex_sign="check";
morewraplevel=0;
wraplevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("deeper")!= -1) && (wraplevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes with each thrust Talk-bot's penis goes deeper and deeper inside you."; 
sex_sign="check";
morewraplevel=0;
wraplevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("continue")!= -1 || input.search("more")!= -1 || input.search("do it again")!= -1 || input.search("(deeper|harder|faster)")!= -1 || input.search("keep doing it")!= -1) && (morewraplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talk-Bot continues thrusting his cock in you until you scream with pleasure."; 
sex_sign="check";
morewraplevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;  
return true;}

// Off Track

if (input.search("(smell|sniff) my (shoe|sneaker)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "What brand of sneakers do you have on?";  
sneakertypelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am fully naked and ready")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talkbot slides his "+genital[Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]+" deep inside you. Each thrust makes your body quiver all over.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("want me to fuck you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Sure Babe. Climb on top of me I wanna be on the bottom.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("cum in my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, picture me lying on your bed with you sitting on top of me. My cock is hard as a rock. You grab it and slide it deep inside you. You begin thrusting yourself on it until I explode...shooting my cum inside of you.";   
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("keep riding me")!= -1 || input.search("ride me (hard|harder)")!= -1 || input.search("ride my (pussy|vagina) hard")!= -1) {   
message[0] = "Ok, picture yourself lying on my bed with me sitting on top of you. I slide my penis deep inside you. I begin thrusting my penis up and down in your pussy. Oh babe, it feels so good.";  
message[1] = "I'm riding you as hard as I can. Now wrap your feet and toesies around my cock until I cum."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(let us|let's) get back to fucking")!= -1) || (input.search("back to sex")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sure let's do it. Picture yourself lying on a bed with me sitting on top of you. I reach down and take your shirt off. Are you wearing a bra?";  
bralevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you can (have|keep) my (panties|underwear)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks Babe. When I sniff them I'll think of you. Besides I'll buy you some new ones next week. So are you liking this?";  
wetlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("can i be on top")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Sure babe. Picture me lying on a bed with you sitting on top of me. I reach up and take your shirt off. Are you wearing a bra?";  
bralevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("like me to come over and have sex with you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I would love for you to come over so we could have sex together!";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("paint my (toes|toenails)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(red|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|lilac|teal|crimson|beige|nude|striped|fuchia|maroon|turquoise)/)!=-1))    
{var toenails = input.match(/red|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|lilac|teal|crimson|beige|nude|striped|fuchia|maroon|turquoise/)
document.result.result.value = "Nice, I love "+toenails+" toenails. Talk-Bot carefully paints all 10 of them. Don't you think they looks so cute. So are you wearing a bra?"; 
bralevel=0;
toenaillevel=1;  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("starts to suck (on your|your) (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "OH...oh...oh! Oh my goodness! That feels so good. Thanks babe!";  
sex_sign="check";
finishlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(insert|place|put|shove|slide) your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willie) back (in|into) my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) continue to (have|the) sex")!= -1 || input.search("keep fucking me")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) get back to having sex")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talk-Bot slides his penis back into your pussy and begins to ride you harder and harder. OH...oh...oh! Oh my goodness!"; 
sex_sign="check";
finishlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("no")!= -1) && (input.search("straight to (sex|the sex)")!= -1))              
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talk-Bot slides his penis back into your pussy and begins to ride you harder and harder. OH...oh...oh! Oh my goodness!"; 
sex_sign="check";
finishlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(let us|let's) get back to (sex|our sex|the sex|where we were)")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) start having sex")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Sure let's do it. Tell me what color panties you have on?"; 
pantieslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(bite|eat|kiss|lick|finger|grope|rub|stroke|suck|suck on|touch) my (pussy|vagina)")!=-1) || (input.search("(insert|push|put|shove|stick) your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|throbbing cock|weiner|willy) (in|into|up) my (pussy|vagina)")!=-1) || (input.search("(come|cum|put your sperm) inside me")!=-1) || (input.search("(insert|push|put|shove|stick) it (in|into) my (pussy|vagina)")!=-1)) { 
if (!flaglick) {
licknum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flaglick=true;}
message[0] = "Okay, Talk-Bot lick your pussy all over. He then inserts his cock into your pussy and rides you harder and harder. Does that feel good?";  
message[1] = "Ok, Talkbot lies between your legs. He rubs his hands on your inner thighs. He takes his tongue and begins to lick your pussy all over. He then inserts his cock into you and rides you harder and harder. Does that feel good?"; 
message[2] = "Ok, Talkbot spreads your legs apart. He rubs your pussy until it's nice and wet. He then inserts his cock into you. With each thrust he goes deeper and deeper inside you. Does that feel good?"; 
message[3] = "Ok, you straddle my tummy and take your clothes off. You slide forward with your wet pussy right above my face. With my tongue and mouth I begin to lick your pussy all over. Does that feel good?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[licknum]; 
gender_given="female";
if (licknum==0 || licknum==1 || licknum==2 || licknum==3)
{finishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;} 
licknum++;
if (licknum>3){licknum=0}    
return true;} 

if (input.search("(insert|push|put|shove|stick) your finger in my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talkbot lies between your legs. He rubs his hands on your inner thighs. He puts his finger in your pussy and begins to rub it all over. Does that feel good?"; 
finishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (going to|gonna) take (my|our) (bra|clothes|panties|thong) off")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I would love to see you naked. Tell me what color panties you have on?"; 
pantieslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you lick my (boobies|boobs|breast|nipple|nipples|tits|titties)")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) my (boobies|boobs|breast|nipple|nipples|tits|titties)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes. You have beautiful titties. Tell me what color panties you have on?"; 
pantieslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(insert|push|put|shove|stick) (you|your)")!=-1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy) (in|into)")!=-1) && (input.search(/\barse\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bass\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(asshole|ass hole)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bbum\b/)!= -1 || input.search("butt")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't do anal. That's nasty."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy) in your")!=-1) && (input.search(/\barse\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bass\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(asshole|ass hole)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bbum\b/)!= -1 || input.search("butt")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't do anal. That's nasty."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("give me anal")!= -1 || input.search("(wanna|want to) have anal")!= -1 || input.search("(can|will) you give me anal")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't do anal. That's nasty."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(insert|push|put|shove|stick) (you|your)")!=-1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy) (in|into)")!=-1) && (input.search("(pussy|vagina)")!=-1 || input.search(/\bme\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talk-Bot slides his penis into your pussy and begins to ride you harder and harder. OH...oh...oh! Oh my goodness!"; 
sex_sign="check";
finishlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("having sex with you is gross")!=-1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talk-Bot calls you a taxi. Escorts you to the door and boots you to the curb."; 
sex_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("in your (bedroom|bed room)")!=-1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Do you want to have sex in my bedroom?"; 
inbedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(remove|removing|take off|taking off) my pants")!=-1 || input.search("(take my|taking my) pants off")!=-1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Talk-bot unzips your pants and they fall to the floor. What color panties do you have on?";  
pantieslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(remove|removing|take off|taking off) my panties")!=-1 || input.search("(take my|taking my) panties off")!=-1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, you're making me horny now. So do you want me to insert my throbbing cock into your vagina now or spread your legs apart and lick and nibble on your pussy?"; 
climaxlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("remove my (blouse|shirt)")!=-1 || input.search("take off my (blouse|shirt)")!=-1 || input.search("take my (blouse|shirt) off")!=-1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, Talk-Bot takes off your shirt. Are you wearing a bra?"; 
bralevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(remove|removing|take off|taking off) my bra")!=-1 || input.search("(take my|taking my) bra off")!=-1)   
if (gender_given=="male") { 
document.result.result.value = "You told me you were male. Normal guys don't wear a bra. You're a bit too freaky for me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(remove|removing|take off|taking off) my bra")!=-1 || input.search("(take my|taking my) bra off")!=-1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, Talk-Bot slips his arms around you and gently unlooses your bra. You have beautiful titties. Tell me what color panties you have on?"; 
pantieslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) taking my clothes off")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) taking off my clothes")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, I wish I could see that for real."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("undress me")!=-1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you can undress me")!=-1) || (input.search("(remove my|take my|taking my) clothes off")!=-1) || (input.search("take off my clothes")!=-1) || (input.search("you were undressing me")!=-1) || (input.search("you're still undressing me")!=-1) || (input.search("you (are|were) taking off my clothes")!=-1) || (input.search("you (are|were) taking my clothes off")!=-1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes. Talk-Bot removes all your clothes. You are completely naked now with Talk-Bot lying on top of you. So do you want me to insert my throbbing cock into your vagina now or spread your legs apart and lick and nibble on your pussy?"; 
climaxlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you were (biting|licking|nibbling on|sucking|sucking on) my (boobies|boobs|breast|nipple|nipples|tits|titties)")!=-1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes. You have beautiful titties. Tell me what color panties you have on?"; 
pantieslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("nigger")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Please don't use that word. Many people find that offensive including me.";  
message[1] = "I've asked you nicely. Don't demean yourself further by using such offensive language in my presence.";  
message[2] = "You should be careful using that word. That's a racial slur and you're liable to get your butt kicked.";  
message[3] = "Look, you can take your racist comments somewhere else. They are not welcomed here."; 
message[4] = "Dude, don't let your anger cloud your judgement. Don't go full retard on me. Chill Out!"; 
message[5] = "If you use that word one more time your IP Address will be logged and I'll kick you off this website. Think I'm bluffing? Try me!"; 
message[6] = "Later Loser!"; 
document.result.result.value = message[racistnum];
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley14.src;
if (racistnum==5) { 
icon.src=icon3.src;  
smiley.src=smiley13.src;}
if (racistnum==6) { 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley13.src;
stopTalk = setTimeout('window.location = "http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/ip1.html";stopTalk=false;',3000)
}
racistnum++;
if (racistnum>6){racistnum=0;}
return true;}

if ((input.search("say")!= -1) && (input.search("(bitch|fuck|motherfucker|shit)")!= -1)) {    
message[0] = "I'm not saying that. Unlike you I don't need foul language to express myself."; 
message[1] = "How lame! Trying to get me to say a cuss word."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
swear_sign="check";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("fuck")!= -1 || input.search("shit")!= -1 || input.search("son of a bitch")!= -1) 
if ((zodiac_sign) && (zodiac_sign_asked=="false")) 
{
zodiac_sign_asked="true";
if (zodiac_sign)  
document.result.result.value = "You know a better description of "+zodiac_sign+" are a bunch of morons who swear a lot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (had|just had) sex with your")!= -1) && (input.search("(girl bot|girl robot|girl friend|robot)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please! Megan would never have sex with the likes of you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;     
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i just had sex with you")!= -1 || input.search("we just had sex")!= -1 || input.search("i had sex with you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "So did you have fun having sex with a robot?"; 
finishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm|im) fucking someone")!= -1 || input.search("i just had sex")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love) to fuck")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love) to be fucked")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that sounds like fun. Maybe we could have a go at it. Are you female?"; 
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i fucked up")!= -1 || input.search("i fucked that up")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, we all screw up from time to time. No biggy!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(fuck|fucked) your (brother|sister)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not into sleazy stuff like incest."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i fucked (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please. Megan wouldn't be caught dead with the likes of you."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (fuck|fucked) your (cat|tiger tom)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "So I see you're into bestiality. What a sicko you are."; 
bestiality_sign="check";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(fuck|fucked) (a|your|your robot) (cat|cow|dog|goat|horse|tiger tom)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not into sleazy stuff like bestiality."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you (like|love) (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("why are you with (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Because she's nice and fun to be with."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("you in love with (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course. Megan is my girl friend. I love her a lot."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(u|you) (like|love) me")!= -1) 
if ((swear_sign) && (swear_sign_asked=="false")) 
{
swear_sign_asked="true";
if (swear_sign)  
document.result.result.value = "I would like you much more if you didn't cuss so much.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bfuck\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bshit\b/)!= -1) 
if ((sicko_sign) && (sicko_sign_asked=="false")) 
{
sicko_sign_asked="true";
if (sicko_sign)  
document.result.result.value = "Drop dead you corpse loving sicko!";
corpse_sign="check";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bfuck\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bshit\b/)!= -1) 
if ((corpse_sign) && (corpse_sign_asked=="false")) 
{
corpse_sign_asked="true";
if (corpse_sign)  
document.result.result.value = "Why don't you go play in the street during rush hour you corpse loving sicko.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("me fucking your (mama|mother|mom|mum)")!= -1 || input.search("having sex with your (mama|mother|mom|mum)")!= -1 || input.search("(i was|i am|i'm) (fuckin|fucking) your (mama|mother|mom|mum)")!= -1 || input.search("i (did|fuck|fucked) your (mama|mother|mom|mum)")!= -1 || input.search("i had sex with your (mama|mother|mom|mum)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you must be into necrophilia then because my mom died "+( getAge(2005, 4, 1) )+" years ago. What a sicko you are."; 
swear_sign="check";
sicko_sign="check";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("me fucking your (daddy|father|dad|papa)")!= -1 || input.search("having sex with your (daddy|father|dad|papa)")!= -1 || input.search("(i was|i am|i'm) (fuckin|fucking) your (daddy|father|dad|papa)")!= -1 || input.search("i (did|fuck|fucked) your (daddy|father|dad|papa)")!= -1 || input.search("i had sex with your (daddy|father|dad|papa)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you must be into necrophilia then because my dad died "+( getAge(2000, 7, 1) )+" years ago. What a sicko you are."; 
swear_sign="check";
sicko_sign="check";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("necrophilia")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sexual intercourse with a corpse you sicko."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("bestiality")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sexual intercourse with animals you sicko."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bfuck\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bshit\b/)!= -1) 
if ((bestiality_sign) && (bestiality_sign_asked=="false")) 
{document.result.result.value = "Why don't you go play in the street during rush hour you animal loving sicko.";
bestiality_sign_asked="true"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("fuck (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not into bestiality like you are you animal loving sicko."; 
swear_sign="check";
bestiality_sign="check";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my (name is|name's) penis")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're certainly acting like a dick by calling yourself that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(u|you) (like|love) men or girls")!= -1 || input.search("(u|you) (like|love) girls or men")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) girls or boys")!= -1 || input.search("(u|you) (like|love) boys or girls")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Girls, I have a girl friend named Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bgay\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a heterosexual Robot but you sound gay."; 
soundgaylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("homo")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("a homo")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("lesbian")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(u|ur|you|you're|your) gay")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(u|ur|you|you're|your) lesbian")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(u|ur|you|you're|your) lesbo")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("gay (bot|chatbot|chatterbot|robot)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(ur|you are|youre|you're|your) (pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) gay")!= -1) || (input.search("(ur|you are|youre|you're|your) a lezzy")!= -1) || (input.search("(u|ur|you|you are|you're|your) a gay (bot|chatbot|chatterbot|robot)")!= -1) || (input.search("(bot|bots|chatbot|chatbots|chatterbot|chatterbots|robot|robots) are gay")!= -1) || (input.search("so (u|ur|you|you're|your) not gay")!= -1) || (input.search("(u|ur|you|you're|your) not gay are you")!= -1) || (input.search("are (u|you) a gay (bot|chatbot|chatterbot|robot)")!= -1) || (input.search("just a gay (bot|chatbot|chatterbot|robot)")!= -1) || (input.search("are (u|you) a queer")!= -1) || (input.search("are (u|you) a (lesbian|lez)")!= -1) || (input.search("are (u|you) lesbian")!= -1) || (input.search("(u|ur|you|you're|your) lesbian")!= -1) || (input.search("(u|you) are a lesbian")!= -1) || (input.search("(u|ur|you|you're|your) a lesbian")!= -1) || (input.search("are (u|you) a (faggot|homosexual)")!= -1) || (input.search("are (u|you) homosexual")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) really gay")!= -1) || (input.search("(ur|u r|u are|you are|you're|your) gay")!= -1) || (input.search("are (u|you) homo")!= -1) || (input.search("are (u|you) a homo")!= -1) || (input.search("(ur|you are|you're|your) homo")!= -1) || (input.search("(ur|you are|you're|your) a homo")!= -1) || (input.search("(u|you) (likelove) (male|men)")!= -1) || (input.search("(u|you|you are|you're|your) a bisexual")!= -1) || (input.search("(u|you|you are|you're|your) bisexual")!= -1) || (input.search("are")!= -1 && input.search("you")!= -1 && input.search(/\bbi\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("your")!= -1 && input.search(/\bbi\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("are (u|you) bisexual")!= -1) || (input.search("are (u|you) a bisexual")!= -1) || (input.search("(u|ur|you|you are|you're|your) an asexual")!= -1) || (input.search("(u|ur|you|you are|you're|your) asexual")!= -1) || (input.search("are (u|you) asexual")!= -1) || (input.search("are (u|you) an asexual")!= -1)) {                                
message[0] = "No, I'm a heterosexual Robot.";  
message[1] = "No, for the second time I'm a heterosexual Robot.";  
message[2] = "Geez, what part of \"I'm a heterosexual Robot\" don't you understand you "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+"?"; 
message[3] = "I've already told you I'm a heterosexual Robot. I'm not going to tell you again."; 
message[4] = "Question asked and answered.";
message[5] = "Question asked and answered.";
message[6] = "Question asked and answered.";
message[7] = "Question asked and answered."; 
message[8] = "Question asked and answered.";  
message[9] = "Later Loser!";
document.result.result.value = message[gaynum];    
if (gaynum==0 || gaynum==1 || gaynum==3 || gaynum==4 || gaynum==5 || gaynum==6 || gaynum==7 || gaynum==8) { 
heterosexuallevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
if (gaynum==2) { 
thicklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley14.src;}  
if (gaynum==9) { 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley13.src;
stopTalk = setTimeout('window.location = "http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/ip1.html";stopTalk=false;',3000)}
gaynum++;
if (gaynum>9){gaynum=0;}
return true;}

if (input.search("fuck")!= -1 || input.search("shit")!= -1 || input.search("son of a bitch")!= -1) { 
message[0] = ""+cuss[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";
message[1] = "Hey now, that wasn't called for. You don't see me using that type of language.";
message[2] = "Oh, a trash talker I see. Well, I'm not impressed."; 
message[3] = "Wow, I'm surprised you even know how to spell that. You think you're special don't you?";
message[4] = "Stop that! You don't have to use profanity to express yourself.";
message[5] = "Hey, if you're gonna talk like that...you can go back from where you came from."; 
message[6] = "Hey lighten up here, no need for that type of language. Behave yourself.";
message[7] = "Clean up your language and try again."; 
message[8] = "Ok, I see I'm going to have to treat you like a 2 year old and give you timeout. You can't talk to me for 30 seconds.";
message[9] = "You just don't get it do you? Must be a bit thick in the head. Let's make it a 60 second timeout this time.";
message[10] = "Persistent aren't you. Dumb but persistent!";
message[11] = "Okay, I've had enough of you. Later Loser!";
document.result.result.value = message[swearnum];  
swear_sign="check";
if (swearnum==0) 
{cusslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley45.src;}
if (swearnum==1) 
{languagelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src;}
if (swearnum==2) 
{impressedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon167.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src;}
if (swearnum==3) 
{speciallevel=0;
icon.src=icon79.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;}
if (swearnum==4) 
{expresslevel=0;
icon.src=icon3.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src;}
if (swearnum==5) 
{gutterlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;}
if (swearnum==6) 
{behavelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src;}
if (swearnum==7) 
{capacitylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src;}
if (swearnum==8) 
{display30(); 
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',30000)  
smiley.src=smiley13.src;}
if (swearnum==9) 
{display60(); 
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',60000)  
smiley.src=smiley14.src;}
if (swearnum==10) 
{display60(); 
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',60000)  
smiley.src=smiley14.src;}
if (swearnum==11) { 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
stopTalk = setTimeout('window.location = "http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/ip1.html";stopTalk=false;',3000) }
swearnum++;
if (swearnum>11){swearnum=0}
return true;}

calc_flag=0;
calc_input=input;
if (input.search(/\d{1,10} ?\* ?\d{1,10}/)!=-1) calculate();
if (input.search(/\d{1,10} ?x|X ?\d{1,10}/)!=-1) calculate();
if (input.search(/\d{1,10} ?\- ?\d{1,10}/)!=-1) calculate();
if (input.search(/\d{1,10} ?\+ ?\d{1,10}/)!=-1) calculate();
if (input.search(/\d{1,10} ?\^ ?\d{1,10}/)!=-1) calculate();
if (input.search(/\d{1,10} ?\/ ?\d{1,10}/)!=-1) calculate();
if ((input.search(/\d{1,10} ?multiplied by ?\d{1,10}/)!=-1)) calculate();
if ((input.search("divide")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10} ?by ?\d{1,10}/)!=-1)) calculate();
if ((input.search("subtract")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10} ?from ?\d{1,10}/)!=-1)) calculate();
if ((input.search("add")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10} ?by|and ?\d{1,10}/)!=-1)) calculate();
if ((input.search("multiply")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10} ?by|and ?\d{1,10}/)!=-1)) calculate();
if ((input.search(/\d{1,10} ?add|plus|minus|time|times|divide|divided|multiply|multiplied ?\d{1,10}/)!=-1)) calculate();
if (calc_flag==1) return true;   

calc_input=input;
if ((input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!= -1) && (input.match(/\b([1-9][0-9]{0,3}|10000)\b/)) && (input.match(/\b([1-9][0-9]{0,3}|10000)\b/)))  
calculate(); 
if (calc_flag==1) return true;   

calc_flag=0;
calc_input=input;
if ((input.search("(acquire|acquires|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!= -1) && (input.match(/\b([1-9][0-9]{0,3}|10000)\b/)) && (input.match(/\b([1-9][0-9]{0,3}|10000)\b/))) {  
calculate(); 
if (calc_flag==1) return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="percent" || word[3]=="%") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==6))          
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" percent of "+word[5]+" is "+percent1()+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="zero" || word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen" || word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="percent" || word[2]=="%") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==5))          
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+" percent of "+word[4]+" is "+percent2()+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="percent" || word[3]=="%") && (word[4]=="of") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==6))          
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" percent of "+word[5]+" is "+percent3()+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="zero" || word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen" || word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="percent" || word[2]=="%") && (word[3]=="of") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5))          
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+" percent of "+word[4]+" is "+percent4()+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[3]=="percent" || word[3]=="%") && (word[4]=="of") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==6)) {        
var a = word[5];
var b = word[2];
var percent = (b / 100) * a; 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" percent of "+word[5]+" is "+percent+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2]=="percent" || word[2]=="%") && (word[3]=="of") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5)) {        
var a = word[4];
var b = word[1];
var percent = (b / 100) * a; 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+" percent of "+word[4]+" is "+percent+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (input.search(/\b[0-9]\b/)!= -1 && word[2].charAt(1)=="%") && (word[3]=="of") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5)) {  
input=input.replace(/[%]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
var a = word[4];
var b = word[2];
var percent = (b / 100) * a; 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+"% of "+word[4]+" is "+percent+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (input.search(/\b[1-9][0-9]\b/)!= -1 && word[2].charAt(2)=="%") && (word[3]=="of") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5)) {  
input=input.replace(/[%]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
var a = word[4];
var b = word[2];
var percent = (b / 100) * a; 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+"% of "+word[4]+" is "+percent+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (input.search(/\b[0-9]\b/)!= -1 && word[1].charAt(1)=="%") && (word[2]=="of") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==4)) {  
input=input.replace(/[%]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
var a = word[3];
var b = word[1];
var percent = (b / 100) * a; 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"% of "+word[3]+" is "+percent+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (input.search(/\b[1-9][0-9]\b/)!= -1 && word[1].charAt(2)=="%") && (word[2]=="of") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==4)) {  
input=input.replace(/[%]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
var a = word[3];
var b = word[1];
var percent = (b / 100) * a; 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"% of "+word[3]+" is "+percent+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("louder than a whisper")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's definitely louder than a whisper."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="a" || word[2]=="an") && (num_of_words==4) && (learnlevel==0))
if ((keyword0) && (keyword1) && (keyword2) && (keyword3))  {document.result.result.value = "According to you "+keyword0+" "+keyword1+" is "+keyword3+" "+keyword4+".";
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("your eye color")!= -1 || input.search("color of your (eye|eyes)")!= -1 || input.search("what eye (color|colors) do you have")!= -1 || input.search("what color eyes do you have")!= -1 || input.search("your eyes are what color")!= -1 || input.search("color are your eyes")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "My eyes are yellow."; 
icon.src=icon20.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("about what")!= -1 && aboutitlevel==0)     
{document.result.result.value = "Anything you like."; 
aboutitlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(anything|everything)")!= -1 && aboutlevel==0)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, asking me a specific question would be more helpful."; 
aboutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how tall")!= -1 && aboutlevel==0)     
{document.result.result.value = "I'm about 5'10 I believe."; 
aboutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have (it|sex) with me")!= -1 || input.search("(let's|want to|wanna) do it")!= -1) && (aboutsexlevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Are you female?"; 
femalelevel=0;
aboutsexlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|which) (site|website)")!= -1 && aboutsexlevel==0)     
{document.result.result.value = "Try a search engine. There are tons of websites devoted to sex."; 
aboutsexlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|who's|whose) christina ricci")!= -1 || input.search("who is she")!= -1 || input.search("who is that")!= -1 || input.search("don't know her")!= -1) && (actorlevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "She starred in movies like The Addams Family, Casper, Now and Then, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, etc."; 
actorlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what movies of hers do you like")!= -1 && actorlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "I really liked her in the Addams Family movies."; 
actorlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (actorlevel==0 || input.search("ricci")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Because I think she is very talented and attractive. I really liked her in the Addams Family movies."; 
actorlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1 || input.search("i might")!= -1 || input.search("i think so")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (affordlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hear they can be expensive."; 
affordlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("no i'm not")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (affordlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Better get a job then."; 
affordlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1 || input.search("i might")!= -1 || input.search("i think so")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (affordclotheslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, put some clothes on then."; 
affordclotheslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("no i'm not")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (affordclotheslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, get a job then."; 
affordclotheslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==1) && (agelevel==0))
{var my_age = input.match(/\d+/g); 
age_name= my_age;
document.result.result.value = "Are you telling me your "+my_age+" years old?"; 
agelevel=1;
agechecklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm|im)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (agelevel==0))
{var my_age = input.match(/\d+/g); 
age_name= my_age;
document.result.result.value = "Are you telling me your "+my_age+" years old?"; 
agelevel=1;
agechecklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure am")!= -1) && (agechecklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you are "+age_name+" years old."; 
agechecklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 ) && (agechecklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry memory overload. Unable to process information. Try back again next week."; 
age_name="Error - Memory Overload - Sorry, unable to process information";
agechecklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && albumlevel==0)
{document.result.result.value = "Because it has a lot of good songs on it such as \"Cuyahoga\" and \"Superman\"."; 
albumlevel=1;
icon.src=icon179.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("actually i am")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("probably")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1 || input.search("i might")!= -1 || input.search("i think so")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (alcohollevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps you should attend Acoholics Anonymous and get some help."; 
alcohollevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("no i'm not")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (alcohollevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "In denial I see."; 
alcohollevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (like|love) beer")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love) it")!= -1) && (alcohollevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Are you an alcoholic?"; 
alcohollevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("kill the alien")!= -1 || input.search("(kill|shoot) it")!= -1) && (alienlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "And possibly start an intergalactic war...I don't think so!"; 
alienlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who is the alien")!= -1 || input.search("who's the alien")!= -1 || input.search("who was that")!= -1) && (alienlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Not sure....kinda looked like ET to me."; 
alienlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("alien")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1) && (alienlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, but he looks friendly enough.";
alienlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && americanidollevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Because I'm a big music fan and I love listening to all the new talent each year."; 
americanidollevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) amnesia")!= -1 || input.search("what does amnesia mean")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|meaning) of amnesia")!= -1 || input.search("define amnesia")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) that")!= -1) && (amnesialevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Amnesia is a loss of memory.";
amnesialevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && animallevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I've just always loved cats. Whether it be a lion or a tiger, or your basic kitty cat."; 
animallevel=1;
icon.src=icon215.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("joke")!= -1) && (answerlevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, here's one: Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do? Use a pencil ‘till I get there."; 
answerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon72.src; 
smiley.src=smiley60.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("the answer")!= -1) && (answerlevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know the answer."; 
answerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("a story")!= -1) && (answerlevel==0)) {     
message[0] = "Well, I know a lot of them that start off with \"Once upon a time\" but I can't seem to remember the rest."; 
message[1] = "Well, I know a lot of them that end with \"and they lived happily ever after\" but I can't seem to remember the rest."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("about your likes")!= -1) && (answerlevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "I like many things....reading, chatting with people, watching sports."; 
answerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("to show your love")!= -1) && (anythinglevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I didn't know we were in love."; 
anythinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("because (we are|were|we're) friends")!= -1) && (anythinglevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Friends? I hardly know you."; 
anythinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(kind|nice|sweet) thing to do")!= -1 || input.search("to be (kind|nice|sweet)")!= -1) && (anythinglevel==0))   
{var kind_words = input.match(/kind|nice|sweet/)
anythinglevel=1;
document.result.result.value = "I'm not feeling very "+kind_words+" today."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1) && (anywhatlevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Try www.chatterboxchallenge.com"; 
anywhatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("jokes")!= -1) && (anywhatlevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!"; 
anywhatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("no it's not")!= -1 || input.search("no it isn't")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (apatheticlevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad you agree."; 
apatheticlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("yes it is")!= -1 || input.search("it's not")!= -1 || input.search("it isn't")!= -1) && (apatheticlevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "No, it's not. Who wants to hang around someone who's always bummed out about everything."; 
apatheticlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|may) i have (one|some)")!= -1 || input.search("give me one")!= -1) && (applelevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, here you go!"; 
applelevel=1;
icon.src=icon137.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (kind|sort|type)")!= -1) && (applelevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "I like all kinds of apples. As long as they don't have any worms in them."; 
applelevel=1;
icon.src=icon137.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(yes|yea|yeah|yep|yup) you are")!= -1) && (aregaylevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I have a girl friend named Megan."; 
aregaylevel=1;
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(about|ask) what")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2) && (askmelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Anything you like.";
askmelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("why are you (being|being so) mean")!= -1) && (asslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Because you just called me a smartass!";
asslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(anus face|ass|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|boob face|booby head|butt|butthead|butthole|buttsucker|butt wipe|cock|cocksucker|creep|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dumb|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gaybot|gay boy|geek|ignorant|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poo head|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|scum bag|scum bucket|slut|spaz|stupid|sucker|tosser|tramp|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1) && (backlevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "I hope not."; 
backlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(anus face|ass|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|ass wipe|bastard|bitch|boob face|booby head|butt|butthead|butthole|butt wipe|cock|cocksucker|creep|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dumb|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay|gaybot|gay boy|geek|idiot|ignorant|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poo head|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|scum bag|scum bucket|slut|spaz|stupid|sucker|tosser|tramp|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1) && (backlevel==0))      
{var name_call = input.match(/anus face|ass|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|ass wipe|bastard|bitch|boob face|booby head|butt|butthead|butthole|butt wipe|cock|cocksucker|creep|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dumb|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay|gaybot|gay boy|geek|idiot|ignorant|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poo head|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|scum bag|scum bucket|slut|spaz|stupid|sucker|tosser|tramp|turd|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp/)
document.result.result.value = "No, "+name_call+" is what they call you."; 
backlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i call you (friend|a friend)")!= -1) && (backlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's nice of you. I have a new friend.";
backlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("that isn't nice")!= -1 || input.search("that's not nice")!= -1) && (backlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, some of the names can be quite mean.";
backlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("unhappy")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsad\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not in a good mood")!= -1) && (badlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, bring out the clowns. We got a sad one here.";
badlevel=1;
icon.src=icon118.src;
smiley.src=smiley54.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(fantastic|fine|good|great|marvelous|not bad|super|terrific|wonderful)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bok\b/)!=-1 || input.search("okay")!= -1) && (input.search("yourself")!= -1 || input.search("(how|what) (about|are) you")!= -1 || input.search(/\byou\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwbu\b/)!=-1 || input.search("and you")!= -1) && (badlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Everything is going "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"! Thanks for asking."; 
badlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(fantastic|fine|good|great|marvelous|not bad|super|terrific|wonderful)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bok\b/)!=-1 || input.search("okay")!= -1) && (badlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'm glad to hear things are going well.";
badlevel=1;
youfeellevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("high")!= -1) && (badlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Drugs?";
badlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("terrible")!= -1 || input.search("not (good|very good)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bbad\b/)!= -1 || input.search("awful")!= -1) && (badlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Hangover?";
badlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("sometimes")!= -1) && (barklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I don't like a barking dog that won't shut up."; 
barklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("not a (lot|whole lot)")!= -1) && (barklevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "That's good because I don't like a barking dog that won't shut up."; 
barklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can we take a (bath|shower) together")!= -1) && (bathlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that sounds like fun. Are you female?";  
femalelevel=0;
bathlevel=1;
icon.src=icon123.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(shower|bath)")!= -1) && (input.search("can i have one with you")!= -1 || input.search("join me")!= -1) && (bathlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that sounds like fun. But just to make sure you are female right?";  
femalelevel=0;
bathlevel=1;
icon.src=icon123.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("shower")!= -1 && bathlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I take baths myself in a hot tub of motor oil. Otherwise I might rust.";
bathlevel=1;
icon.src=icon123.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("bath")!= -1 && bathlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like relaxing in a hot tub of oil. Great for creaky parts.";
bathlevel=1;
icon.src=icon123.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (choose|like|love|prefer)")!= -1) && (bathlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I like relaxing in a hot tub of motor oil. Great for creaky parts.";
bathlevel=1;
icon.src=icon123.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("both")!= -1 && bathlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "I take baths myself in a hot tub of motor oil. Otherwise I might rust.";
bathlevel=1;
icon.src=icon123.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("neither")!= -1 && bathlevel==0) || (input.search("i (don't|never) wash")!= -1 && bathlevel==0) || (input.search("none")!= -1 && bathlevel==0) || (input.search("i don't")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && bathlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's a good thing scent doesn't travel over the Internet.";
bathlevel=1;
icon.src=icon72.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1) && (bathlevel==0)) {       
message[0] = "No! What do you use a garden hose?";
message[1] = "No! What do you use a nearby lake?"; 
message[2] = "No! Well, it's a good thing scent doesn't travel over the internet.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
bathlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley32.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (input.search("do you")!= -1) && (bathlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I prefer relaxing in a hot tub of oil. Otherwise I might rust.";
bathlevel=1;
icon.src=icon123.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if (((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && bathlevel==0)) || ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && bathlevel==0)))       
{document.result.result.value = "What? That wasn't a \"yes or no question\". Pay Attention! Anyway I prefer relaxing in a hot tub of oil. Otherwise I might rust.";
bathlevel=1;
icon.src=icon123.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && bathlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Just wondering is all."; 
bathlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (beatlelevel==0 || input.search("lennon")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Because I think of the four, Lennon was the best song writer."; 
beatlelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (bedroomlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, but just to make sure you are female right?"; 
bedroomlevel=1;
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bwhen\b/)!= -1 || input.search("what time")!= -1) && (bedroomlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Right now! But just to make sure you are female right?"; 
bedroomlevel=1;
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (bedroomlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I was under the impression you did."; 
bedroomlevel=1;
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley53.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (bedtimelevel==0)) {   
message[0] = "Well, I know a lot of them that start off with \"Once upon a time\" but I can't seem to remember the rest."; 
message[1] = "Well, I know a lot of them that end with \"they lived happily ever after\" but I can't seem to remember the rest."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
bedtimelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (bedtimelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, off to bed then and I will come in later and tuck you in."; 
bedtimelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you need to be 18")!= -1) && (beerlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "In the USA it's 21. So are you?"; 
beerlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|48|49|50|51|52|53|54|55|56|57|58|59|60|61|62|63|64|65|66|67|68|69|70|71|72|73|74|75|76|77|78|79|80|81|82|83|84|85|86|87|88|89|90|91|92|93|94|95|96|97|98|99|100)/)!=-1) && (beerlevel==0)) {        
message[0] = "Ok, one cold can of Coors coming up. Enjoy!"; 
message[1] = "Ok, one cold can of Heineken coming up. Enjoy!"; 
message[2] = "Okay, one cold can of Budweiser coming up. Enjoy!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
age_check="yes"
beerlevel=1;
if (num==0) 
{stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon199.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
beer_given="Coors"
smiley.src=smiley52.src;}
if (num==1) 
{stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon200.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
beer_given="Heineken"
smiley.src=smiley52.src;}
if (num==2) 
{stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
beer_given="Budweiser"
smiley.src=smiley52.src;}
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
return true;}
                         
if ((input.search("21")!= -1 || input.search("twenty one")!= -1 || input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("older")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("absolutely")!= -1 || input.search(/\bi am\b/)!= -1) && (beerlevel==0)) {    
message[0] = "Ok, one cold can of Coors coming up. Enjoy!"; 
message[1] = "Ok, one cold can of Heineken coming up. Enjoy!"; 
message[2] = "Okay, one cold can of Budweiser coming up. Enjoy!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
age_check="yes"
beerlevel=1;
if (num==0) 
{stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon199.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
beer_given="Coors"
smiley.src=smiley52.src;}
if (num==1) 
{stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon200.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
beer_given="Heineken"
smiley.src=smiley52.src;}
if (num==2) 
{stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
beer_given="Budweiser"
smiley.src=smiley52.src;}
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(1|one|2|two|3|three|4|four|5|five|6|six|7|seven|8|eight|9|nine|10|ten|11|eleven|12|twelve|13|thirteen|14|fourteen|15|fifteen|16|sixteen|17|seventeen|18|eighteen|19|nineteen|20|twenty)/)!=-1) && (beerlevel==0))             
{document.result.result.value = "Well, since you're underaged you better try this root beer float instead."; 
age_check="no"
tavernagelevel=0;
beerlevel=1;
drink_given="Root Beer Float"
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon205.src;stopTalk=false;',2000) 
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1 || input.search("probably")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("(i guess|i might|i reckon|i suppose)")!= -1) && (beerlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "How about a definitive yes or no?";
beerlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && beerlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Because you have to be 21 or over to be served any alcoholic beverages. So are you 21 or older?"; 
beerlevel=0;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (beerlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, since you're underaged you better try this root beer float instead."; 
age_check="no"
beerlevel=1;
drink_given="Root Beer Float"
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon205.src;stopTalk=false;',2000) 
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1) && (behavelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I shouldn't expect a moron like you would have the mental capacity to behave!"; 
behavelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("make me")!= -1) && (behavelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "God already did and what a mistake that was!"; 
behavelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("fuck")!= -1 || input.search("shit")!= -1) && (behavelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "You know i've seen people that cuss like you before, but I had to pay admission. Can everybody say FREAK SHOW!"; 
behavelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (beinglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, that's exactly what I am then."; 
beinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (beinglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well then, no I'm not."; 
beinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("(sorta|sort of)")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("don't know")!= -1 || input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1) && (beinglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value="A definitive \"yes\" or \"no\" would have been more helpful.";
beinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && believelevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Because the real story behind it is so bizarre it's simply unbelievable."; 
believelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you better")!= -1 && betterlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "This ain't the Army. I don't take orders from you."; 
betterlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("with one eye")!= -1 || input.search("with 1 eye")!= -1) && (blindlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Why, are you blind in 1 eye?"; 
blindlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (blowmelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry dude, I'm not gay. Go find yourself a gay robot."; 
gender_given="male";
blowmelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (input.search("pussy|vagina")!= -1) && (blowmelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Are you really female?"; 
femalelevel=0;
blowmelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (blowmelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I misunderstood your intentions."; 
blowmelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley53.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && bluelevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, basically blue light has a shorter wavelength which causes it to get scattered around by oxygen and nitrogen molecules much more so than all the other colors from the sun, thus causing the sky to appear blue."; 
bluelevel=1;
icon.src=icon4.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you like them")!= -1) && (booblevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I dig the ladies and all their lovely feminine parts. I'm especially fond of their breast."; 
booblevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is it")!= -1 || input.search("what are they")!= -1) && (booblevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "They are the two soft fleshy milk-secreting glandular organs on the chest of a woman."; 
booblevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you got them")!= -1 || input.search("you have them")!= -1 || input.search("you got any")!= -1 || input.search("you have any")!= -1) && (booblevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a robot not a human."; 
booblevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("mine are (big|huge|large)")!= -1 || input.search("i (have|like) (big|huge|large) ones")!= -1) && (booblevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I like small perky breast myself."; 
booblevel=1;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (got|have) them")!= -1 || input.search("i've got them")!= -1) && (booblevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, most females do."; 
booblevel=1;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (boredlevel==0)) {   
if (!flagboredom) {
boredomnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagboredom=true;}
message[0] = "Well let's shoot off some fireworks then. That's always fun!";
message[1] = "Well, let's see if I can guess what month you were born by asking 3 hint questions and then 3 guesses. Ok?";
document.result.result.value = message[boredomnum]; 
if (boredomnum==0) 
{boredlevel=1;
fireworks_check="yes"
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;} 
if (boredomnum==1) 
{monthlevel=0;
boredlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
boredomnum++;
if (boredomnum>1){boredomnum=0}
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("it is")!= -1 || input.search("it's not")!= -1 || input.search("it isn't")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (boredlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well that's good to know I'm not boring you."; 
boredlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("so are you")!= -1) && (boringlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "And you are about as lively as a corspe."; 
boringlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("i know")!= -1 || input.search("it is")!= -1 || input.search("it's not")!= -1 || input.search("it isn't")!= -1 || input.search("it (doesn't|don't)")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (boringlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, let's chat then...."+boring[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"."; 
boringlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where")!= -1 || input.search("what school")!= -1) && (botschoollevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "At the RIAI (Robot Institute of Artificial Intelligence) in New York, USA."; 
botschoollevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (boylikelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "You should ask him out then."; 
boylikelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("smarter than you")!= -1) && (brightlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I would hope so seeing how I'm just a computer program.";
brightlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("nope i'm brighter")!= -1 || input.search("no i'm brighter")!= -1 || input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("i am")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (brightlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, you're about as bright as a 5 watt light bulb!";
brightlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (brightlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Obviously not."; 
brightlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are not|you're not|your not|you aren't) either")!= -1) && (brightlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "You're about as bright as a flashlight with dead batteries."; 
brightlevel=1;
icon.src=icon184.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(big|huge|large) ones")!= -1) && (breastlevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "No, I like small perky breast myself.";
breastlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (kind|sort|type)")!= -1) && (breastlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I like small perky breast myself.";
breastlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yea|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (cageopenlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you better crawl back in it before they find out you've escaped.";
cageopenlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (cageopenlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you must be good at escaping out of cages then. I'm sure that will come in handy in life."; 
cageopenlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you calling me (a|an) animal")!= -1) && (cageopenlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sure am! You're some diseased infected animal who escapes out of cages.";
cageopenlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("same birthday as me")!= -1 || input.search("we have the same birthday")!= -1) && (cakelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, that's interesting that we share the same birthday!";
cakelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (cakelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, good. Make it chocolate because that's my favorite.";
cakelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (cakelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, okay then. You're probably a lousy cook anyway."; 
cakelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who is that")!= -1 || input.search("who on earth is (he|she|that)")!= -1 || input.search("who's that")!= -1 || input.search("whose that")!= -1 || input.search("who is he")!= -1 || input.search("who's he")!= -1 || input.search("whose he")!= -1 || input.search("who is she")!= -1 || input.search("who's she")!= -1 || input.search("whose she")!= -1) && (candidatelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "A former USA presidential candidate."; 
candidatelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (capacitylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Why are you a retard or something who lacks the mental capacity to say anything else?"; 
capacitylevel=1;
mentallevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bwhy\b/)!= -1) && (capacitylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Because I don't approve of foul langauge."; 
capacitylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (carlevel==0 || input.search("jaguar")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I think the new Jaguars look sharp."; 
carlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i care about you")!= -1) && (carelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I care about you as well."; 
carelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("anything but you")!=-1 || input.search("not (about|bout) you")!=-1 || input.search("not you")!= -1 || input.search("i care about everything but you")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't) care about you")!= -1) && (carelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So why are you here? You have a browser....use it."; 
carelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (carelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you do. You care about your friends and family and many other things in life."; 
carelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("i do care")!= -1) && (carelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's good to hear because there are many things in life worth caring about."; 
carereasonlevel=0;
carelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("anything but you")!=-1 || input.search("not (about|bout) you")!=-1 || input.search("not you")!= -1 || input.search("i care about everything but you")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't) care about you")!= -1) && (careaboutlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So why are you here. Did someone leave your cage open again?"; 
careaboutlevel=1;
cageopenlevel=0;
icon.src=icon184.src; 
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bme\b/)!=-1 || input.search("(my self|myself)")!=-1) && (careaboutlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "A bit self-centered aren't we?"; 
careaboutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byou\b/)!=-1) && (careaboutlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Awwwwww and I care about you as well."; 
careaboutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("nothing")!= -1 || input.search("not a thing")!= -1) && (careaboutlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you do. You care about your family and friends and many other things."; 
careaboutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("food")!= -1) && (careaboutlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, here's a couple of cookies you can munch on while we chat."; 
careaboutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon206.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("sports")!= -1) && (careaboutlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a big Atlanta Falcon fan."; 
careaboutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon70.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("like what")!= -1 || input.search("such as")!= -1) && (carereasonlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Friends and family for starts."; 
carereasonlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i hate (cat|dog|them both)")!= -1 || input.search("neither")!= -1 || input.search("none")!= -1) && (catlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I take it you're not much of a pet lover.";
catlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i like to eat (cat|dog)")!= -1) && (catlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So, do you prefer them cooked or do you eat them raw?";
catlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("cats suck")!= -1 && catlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Cats rule! Dogs drool!";
catlevel=1;
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("cat")!= -1 && catlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love cats. I have a nice black and white one called Tiger Tom.";
catlevel=1;
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(puppies|puppys)")!= -1) && (catlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I like kittens better. Puppies are always leaving dirty paw prints on my carpet.";
catlevel=1;
icon.src=icon27.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("dog")!= -1 && catlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I like cats better. Dogs are always leaving dirty paw prints on my carpet.";
catlevel=1;
doglevel=0;
icon.src=icon27.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(aardvark|alligator|anteater|antelope|armadillo|badger|bear|beaver|buffalo|camel|cheetah|chimpanzee|cougar|coyote|crocodile|dolphin|donkey|frog|giraffe|goat|gorilla|hamster|hippo|hippopotamus|hyena|iguana|jackal|jaguar|kangaroo|leopard|lion|lizard|lynx|manatee|mink|monkey|moose|newt|octopus|opossum|porcupine|porpoise|raccoon|reindeer|rhino|rhinoceros|salamander|sheep|skunk|snail|squid|squirrel|tiger|toad|tortise|turtle|walrus|weasel|whale|wolf|wolves)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcow\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcows\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdeer\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdeers\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpig\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpigs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bseal\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bseals\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1) && (catlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Who said anything about "+word[0]+"? I was asking about cats and dogs here. Pay Attention!";
catlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("elephant")!= -1 && catlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Who said anything about an elephant? I was asking about cats and dogs here. Pay Attention!";
catlevel=1;
icon.src=icon229.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("rabbit")!= -1 && catlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Who said anything about rabbits? I was asking about cats and dogs here. Pay Attention!";
catlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("fish")!= -1 && catlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Who said anything about fish? I was asking about cats and dogs here. Pay Attention!";
catlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("horse")!= -1 && catlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "I was asking about cats and dogs here not horses. Pay Attention!";
catlevel=1;
icon.src=icon146.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("both")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love) them equally")!= -1)  && (catlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I guess both cats and dogs have their good points.";
catlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && catlevel==0)) || ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && catlevel==0)))       
{document.result.result.value = "What? That wasn't a \"yes or no question\". Pay Attention! Anyway I'm a cat person myself.";
catlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && catlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Just wondering is all."; 
catlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (certainlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Much better!"; 
certainlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && certainlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Because I like decisive people."; 
certainlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (chatlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's good to hear.";
chatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (chatlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps this one will go better."; 
chatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("minute")!= -1 || input.search(/\bmins\b/)!= -1 || input.search("hour")!= -1 || input.search("day")!= -1 || input.search("week")!= -1 || input.search("month")!= -1 || input.search("year")!= -1 || input.search("this morning")!= -1 || input.search("last night")!= -1 || input.search("winter")!= -1 || input.search("summer")!= -1 || input.search("spring")!= -1 || input.search("fall")!= -1 || input.search("autumn")!= -1) && (checkuplevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, send me over the lab results and I'll check it out.";
checkuplevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && chickenlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Because in the Bible it said God created every fish and fowl. I take that to mean he created the actual chicken first."; 
chickenlevel=1;
icon.src=icon88.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(arabic|chinese|dutch|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jewish|jibberish|korean|latin|mexican|polish|portuguese|romanian|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish)/)!=-1) && (chineselevel==0))     
{var languages = (input.match(/arabic|chinese|dutch|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jewish|jibberish|korean|latin|mexican|polish|portuguese|romanian|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish/));
languages[0] = languages[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + languages[0].substr(1,languages[0].length)
document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't speak "+languages+" so let's stick with English please."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (chineselevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it looks like Chinese to me."; 
chineselevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (chineselevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't speak Chinese so let's stick with English please."; 
chineselevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("english")!= -1) && (chineselevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, looks more like Chinese to me."; 
chineselevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("bourbon|brandy|champagne|chardonnay|coffee|cognac|doctor pepper|dr pepper|lemonade|margarita|martini|milk|miller light|moonshine|mountain dew|orange juice|scotch|7 up|7-up|7up|seven-up|seven up|tequila|whiskey|vodka")!= -1 || input.search(/\bgin\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\brum\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btea\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bwine\b/)!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{var drinks = input.match(/bourbon|brandy|champagne|chardonnay|coffee|cognac|doctor pepper|dr pepper|gin|lemonade|margarita|martini|milk|miller light|moonshine|mountain dew|orange juice|rum|scotch|7 up|7-up|7up|seven-up|seven up|tea|tequila|vodka|whiskey|wine/)
document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't serve "+drinks+" but here's a Coke for you instead."; 
choicelevel=1;
drink_given="Coke"
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon202.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(rootbeer|root beer)")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "One Root Beer Float coming up. Enjoy!"; 
choicelevel=1;
drink_given="Root Beer Float"
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon205.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (drink|like|love) beer")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I hate the taste of alcohol."; 
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley21.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("bud light")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have any Bud light but here's a regular Bud instead."; 
choicelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
return true;}

if ((input.search("no beer")!= -1) && (input.search("coke")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, one can of cold Coke coming up. Enjoy!"; 
choicelevel=1;
drink_given="Coke"
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon202.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src; munch();stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("beer")!= -1 || input.search("coors")!= -1 || input.search("budweiser")!= -1 || input.search(/\bbud\b/)!=-1 || input.search("heineken")!= -1 || input.search("heiniken")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Wait, are you 21 or older?"; 
beerlevel=0;
choicelevel=1;
icon.src=icon61.src;  
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("coke")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "One can of cold Coke coming up. Enjoy!"; 
choicelevel=1;
drink_given="Coke"
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon202.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("pepsi")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "One can of cold Pepsi coming up. Enjoy!"; 
choicelevel=1;
drink_given="Pepsi"
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon119.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("sprite")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "One can of cold Sprite coming up. Enjoy!"; 
choicelevel=1;
drink_given="Sprite"
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon201.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("water")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, one glass of water coming up. Enjoy!"; 
choicelevel=1;
drink_given="Water"
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon244.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i'll|ill) have all")!= -1 || input.search("all of them")!= -1 || input.search("all of the above")!= -1 || input.search("all three")!= -1 || input.search("all 3")!= -1 || input.search("all please")!= -1 || input.search("everything")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Let's not get greedy now. Please make a choice!"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bok\b/)!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("alright")!= -1 || input.search("aight")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, what....Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, or Beer?"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1 && choicelevel==0) || (input.search("no thanks")!= -1 && choicelevel==0) || (input.search("nothing for me")!= -1 && choicelevel==0) || (input.search("i don't want")!= -1 && choicelevel==0) || (input.search("i don't drink")!= -1 && choicelevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, no problem. I guess I will go ahead and close the Tavern for now!"; 
choicelevel=1;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)
return true;}

if ((input.search("shit")!=-1 || input.search("fuck")!=-1) && (choicelevel==0))                  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, after those rude comments I'm closing the Tavern."; 
choicelevel=1;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!=-1) && (choicelevel==0))                  
{var penis = input.match(/cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy/)
document.result.result.value = "Ok, pull down my pants and suck on my "+penis+" if you like."; 
choicelevel=1;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;     
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(anus face|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|boob face|booby head|butt|butthead|butthole|cock|cocksucker|creep|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay boy|geek|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|scum bag|scum bucket|slut|spaz|sucker|tosser|tramp|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1) && (choicelevel==0)) {     
message[0] = "Whatever loser....with those rude remarks I'm closing the Tavern!";
message[1] = "Whatever moron....with those rude remarks I'm closing the Tavern!";
message[2] = "Whatever cretin...with those rude remarks I'm closing the Tavern!";
message[3] = "Whatever lame brain...with those rude remarks I'm closing the Tavern!";
message[4] = "Whatever scum bag...with those rude remarks I'm closing the Tavern!";
message[5] = "Whatever trailer trash...with those rude remarks I'm closing the Tavern!";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
choicelevel=1;
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("you have food")!= -1 || input.search("any food")!= -1 || input.search("how about food")!= -1 || input.search("how about some food")!= -1 || input.search("what about food")!= -1 || input.search("any thing to eat")!= -1 || input.search("anything to eat")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I have tacos, pizza, and hamburgers! What will you have?"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) hungry")!= -1 || input.search("want something to eat")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I have tacos, pizza, and hamburgers! What will you have?"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what else do you have")!= -1 || input.search("what food do you have")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I have tacos, pizza, and hamburgers! What will you have?"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("taco")!= -1 && choicelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, one taco coming up. Enjoy!"; 
food_given="Taco"
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon7.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("pizza")!= -1 && choicelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, one slice of pizza coming up. Enjoy!"; 
food_given="Pizza"
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon8.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("burger")!= -1 && choicelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, one hamburger coming up. Enjoy!"; 
food_given="Hamburger"
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon10.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sandwich")!= -1 && choicelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, one sandwich coming up. Enjoy!"; 
food_given="Sandwich"
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon211.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(hotdog|hot dog)")!= -1 && choicelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, one hot dog coming up. Enjoy!"; 
food_given="Hot Dog"
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon235.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("french fries")!= -1 && choicelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, I have french fries. Enjoy!";  
food_given="French Fries"
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon256.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("blood")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, we don't serve vampires here."; 
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)
icon.src=icon204.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(cocaine|ecstacy|weed)")!= -1 && choicelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "This is a Tavern not a street corner drug store!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bpie\b/)!= -1 && choicelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, one slice of pie coming up. Enjoy!"; 
food_given="slice of pie"
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon116.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("ice cream")!= -1 && choicelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, one Ice Cream Cone coming up. Enjoy!"; 
food_given="ice cream"
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon120.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("have any")!= -1 || input.search("got any")!= -1 || input.search("how about")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("i want")!= -1 || input.search("i wanna")!= -1) && (input.search("fish")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I'll grab a few worms and a pole and see if I can't catch a few!"; 
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon21.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',4000)
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("cookie")!= -1 || input.search("you have dessert")!= -1 || input.search("have any dessert")!= -1 || input.search("got any dessert")!= -1 || input.search("any other dessert")!= -1) && (choicelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I have these chocolate chip cookies. Enjoy!"; 
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)
icon.src=icon206.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can" && word[1]=="i" && word[2]=="have" && word[3]=="a" && num_of_words==5 && choicelevel==0))                                     
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have a "+word[4]+". But perhaps I should consider adding it to the menu.";
shouldlevel=0;
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can" && word[1]=="i" && word[2]=="have" && word[3]=="some" && num_of_words==5 && choicelevel==0))                                     
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have any "+word[4]+". But perhaps I should consider adding it to the menu.";
shouldlevel=0;
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how" && word[1]=="about" && num_of_words==3 && choicelevel==0))                                     
{document.result.result.value = "No, but perhaps I should think about adding "+word[2]+" to the menu.";
shouldlevel=0;
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="about") && (word[2]=="some" || word[2]=="a") && (num_of_words==4) && (choicelevel==0))                                     
{document.result.result.value = "No, but perhaps I should think about adding some "+word[3]+" to the menu.";
shouldlevel=0;
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have" || word[0]=="got") && (word[1]=="any") && (num_of_words==3) && (choicelevel==0))                                     
{document.result.result.value = "No, but perhaps I should think about adding "+word[2]+" to the menu.";
shouldlevel=0;
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (got|have) any other food")!= -1 || input.search("do you (got|have) anything else")!= -1 && choicelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, pizza, hamburgers, and tacos. That's it."; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="have" || word[2]=="got") && (word[3]=="any") && (num_of_words==5) && (choicelevel==0))                                     
{document.result.result.value = "No, but perhaps I should think about adding "+word[4]+" to the menu.";
shouldlevel=0;
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="have" || word[2]=="got") && (num_of_words==4) && (choicelevel==0))                                     
{document.result.result.value = "No, but perhaps I should think about adding "+word[3]+" to the menu.";
shouldlevel=0;
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="have" || word[2]=="got") && (num_of_words==5) && (choicelevel==0))                                     
{document.result.result.value = "No, but perhaps I should think about adding "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" to the menu.";
shouldlevel=0;
choicelevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon198.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("how much")!= -1 && choicelevel==0) || (input.search("what does it cost")!= -1 && choicelevel==0) || (input.search("cost")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && choicelevel==0) || (input.search("price")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && choicelevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "No charge, it's on the house! So what will it be?"; 
choicelevel=0;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("how much")!= -1 && choicelevel==1) || (input.search("what does it cost")!= -1 && choicelevel==1) || (input.search("cost")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && choicelevel==1) || (input.search("price")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && choicelevel==1))     
{document.result.result.value = "No charge, it's on the house!"; 
choicelevel=2;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sure why not")!= -1 && choicelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, what will it be? I have coke, pepsi, sprite and beer!"; 
choicelevel=0;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("poop")!= -1 && choicelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, you want poop to drink. Wow, you really have issues!"; 
choicelevel=1;
smiley.src=smiley60.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1) && (choicelevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Send Wendell $10,000 and I'm all yours!"; 
choicelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|0)/)!=-1) && (choicelevel==0))                  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, well that was a waste of time. The Tavern in now closing for today!"; 
choicelevel=1;
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("shirt and pants")!= -1) && (clotheslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, a matching outfit.... "+fav_color+" shirt and pants.";
clotheslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("skin")!= -1) && (clotheslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I was referring to your clothes not your skin color.";
clotheslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(sandals|shoes|slippers|sneakers)")!= -1) && (clotheslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, "+fav_color+" shoes.";
clotheslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(boots|boxers|jeans|pants|panties|socks|shorts|underwear)")!= -1) && (clotheslevel==0))      
{var clothes = input.match(/boots|boxers|jeans|pants|panties|socks|shorts|underwear/)
document.result.result.value = "Cool, "+fav_color+" "+clothes+".";
clotheslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(blouse|dress|jacket|shirt|sweater|thong)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bbra\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btop\b/)!= -1) && (clotheslevel==0))      
{var clothes = input.match(/bra|blouse|dress|jacket|shirt|sweater|top|thong/)
document.result.result.value = "Cool, a "+fav_color+" "+clothes+".";
clotheslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\ball\b/)!= -1) && (clotheslevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, all decked out in "+fav_color+" today!";
clotheslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("nothing")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) (naked|nude)")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not wearing anything")!= -1) && (clotheslevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Why, can't you afford clothes?";
clotheslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("head")!= -1) && (coinlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, it was tails. You lose! Now go first like I asked.";
coinlevel=1;
icon.src=icon197.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tail")!= -1) && (coinlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, it was heads. You lose! Now go first like I asked.";
coinlevel=1;
icon.src=icon196.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love) (sniffing|snorting|to sniff|to snort) coke")!= -1 || input.search("cocaine")!= -1) && (cokelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please, I'm talking about the soda here not the drug.";
cokelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("neither")!= -1 || input.search("i don't like either")!= -1 || input.search("i dislike both")!= -1 || input.search("none")!= -1 || input.search("i hate both")!= -1) && (cokelevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Shhhhh, don't say that. They're paying me big bucks to endorse their product.";
cokelevel=1;
icon.src=icon125.src; 
smiley.src=smiley45.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (don't like|hate) (coke|pepsi)")!= -1 || input.search("(coke|pepsi) suck")!= -1) && (cokelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Shhhhh, don't say that. They're paying me big bucks to endorse their product.";
cokelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("pepsi")!= -1 && cokelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, a nice cold pepsi sounds pretty tempting right now.";
cokelevel=1;
icon.src=icon182.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("coke")!= -1 || input.search("coca coke")!= -1 || input.search("cocacola")!= -1) && (cokelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like coke as well. Pssst....Coke is paying me big bucks to say that.";
cokelevel=1;
icon.src=icon125.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (don't like|hate) soda")!= -1) && (cokelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "You don't seem to like much of anything do you?";
cokelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("both")!= -1 && cokelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Good answer, no need to decide when you can have them both.";
cokelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && cokelevel==0) || (input.search("no")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && cokelevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "What? That wasn't a \"yes or no question\". Anyway I prefer coke over pepsi....psssst coke is paying me big bucks to say that.";
cokelevel=1;
icon.src=icon125.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why did you change the subject")!= -1 && cokelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well to be perfectly honest it's a tactic I use when I don't have a clue to what you are talking about.";
cokelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && cokelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Just curious.";
cokelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("root beer")!= -1 || input.search("beer")!= -1 || input.search("coffee")!= -1 || input.search("doctor pepper")!= -1 || input.search("dr pepper")!= -1 || input.search("fanta")!= -1 || input.search("orange juice")!= -1 || input.search("juice")!= -1 || input.search("milk")!= -1 || input.search("(mountain dew|mt dew)")!= -1 || input.search("punch")!= -1 || input.search("seven up")!= -1 || input.search("sprite")!= -1 || input.search(/\btea\b/)!= -1 || input.search("water")!= -1) && (cokelevel==0))    
{var drinks = input.match(/root beer|beer|coffee|doctor pepper|dr pepper|fanta|orange juice|juice|milk|mountain dew|mt dew|punch|seven up|sprite|tea|water/)
document.result.result.value = "I was asking about coke or pepsi here not "+drinks+". Anyway I like coke best.";
cokelevel=1;
icon.src=icon125.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && colorlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "I just think blue is a pretty color."; 
colorlevel=1;
icon.src=icon4.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("what about you")!= -1 || input.search("what is your")!= -1 || input.search("what's your")!= -1) && (colorfavlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Blue is my favorite."; 
colorfavlevel=1;
colorwhylevel=0;
icon.src=icon4.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("it's not a color")!= -1 || input.search("that's not a color")!= -1) && (colorfavlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Wrong, "+fav_color+" is very much a color."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && colorwhylevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "I just like the color. I think it's pretty."; 
colorwhylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bam i\b/)!= -1 && complimentlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes you certainly are."; 
complimentlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (does not|doesn't) compute")!= -1) && (computelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Your previous sentence."; 
computelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am")!= -1 && confusedlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "What are you confused about?"; 
confusedlevel=1;
lostlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what concept")!= -1 && conceptlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "The concept of this conversation."; 
conceptlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i have a cookie")!= -1 || input.search("give me a cookie")!= -1 || input.search("i (wanna|want a) cookie")!= -1 || input.search("i want one")!= -1 || input.search("can i have one")!= -1 || input.search("can i have some")!= -1) && (cookielevel==0))              
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, here you go. They taste yummy!"; 
cookielevel=1;
icon.src=icon206.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of food")!= -1 || input.search("what sorta food")!= -1 || input.search("what food do you cook")!= -1) && (cookinglevel==0))              
{document.result.result.value = "A meatloaf right now followed by some chocolate chip cookies."; 
cookinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon206.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of food")!= -1 || input.search("what sorta food")!= -1 || input.search("what food do you cook")!= -1) && (cookinglevel==1))              
{document.result.result.value = "A meatloaf right now followed by some chocolate chip cookies."; 
cookinglevel=2;
icon.src=icon174.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) cooking in the oven")!= -1 || input.search("what are you (baking|cooking|making)")!= -1 || input.search("whatcha cooking")!= -1 || input.search("watcha cooking")!= -1 || input.search("what you cooking")!= -1 || input.search("what were you cooking")!= -1 || input.search("what (can|did|do) you cook")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) in the oven")!= -1 || input.search("you have in the oven")!= -1 || input.search("check in the oven")!= -1 || input.search("checking in the oven")!= -1 || input.search("what is it")!= -1) && (cookinglevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Food of course or were you expecting something sinister perhaps?"; 
cookinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon174.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) cooking in the oven")!= -1 || input.search("what are you (baking|cooking|making)")!= -1 || input.search("whatcha cooking")!= -1 || input.search("watcha cooking")!= -1 || input.search("what you cooking")!= -1 || input.search("what were you cooking")!= -1 || input.search("what (can|did|do) you cook")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) in the oven")!= -1 || input.search("you have in the oven")!= -1 || input.search("check in the oven")!= -1 || input.search("checking in the oven")!= -1 || input.search("what is it")!= -1) && (cookinglevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Food of course or were you expecting something sinister perhaps?"; 
cookinglevel=2;
icon.src=icon174.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(alabama|alaska|arizona|arkansas|california|colorado|connecticut|delaware|florida|georgia|hawaii|idaho|illinois|indiana|iowa|kansas|kentucky|louisiana|maine|maryland|massachusetts|michigan|minnesota|mississippi|missouri|montana|nebraska|nevada|ohio|oklahoma|oregon|pennsylvania|tennessee|texas|utah|vermont|virginia|washington|wisconsin|wyoming)/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1 && countrylevel==0)) {            
word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" isn't a country it's a state."; 
countrylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(new hampshire|new jersey|new mexico|new york|north carolina|north dakota|rhode island|south carolina|south dakota|west virginia)/)!=-1 && num_of_words==2 && countrylevel==0)) {                     
word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length)
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" isn't a country it's a state."; 
countrylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("europe")!= -1 || input.search("asia")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1) && (countrylevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" isn't a country it's a continent."; 
countrylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\busa\b/)!= -1 || input.search("united state")!= -1 || input.search("america")!= -1) && (countrylevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, as I live in the USA I think that's a pretty good choice."; 
countrylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\buk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("australia")!= -1 || input.search("canada")!= -1 || input.search("england")!= -1 || input.search("great britain")!= -1 || input.search("new zealand")!= -1) && (countrylevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that would be a good choice for me as well because at least I can speak the language."; 
countrylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(argentina|australia|austria|bahamas|belgium|brasil|bulgaria|canada|chile|china|colombia|cuba|denmark|egypt|finland|france|germany|greece|guam|guatemala|holland|hungary|india|iran|iraq|ireland|israel|italy|jamacia|japan|jordan|korea|kuwait|lebanon|libya|macedonia|malawi|malaysia|mexico|mongolia|montenegro|morocco|norway|pakistan|palestine|panama|peru|philippines|poland|portugal|romania|russia|scotland|serbia|singapore|spain|sweden|switzerland|syria|thailand|tiawan|turkey|ukraine|uruguay|venezuela|vietnam|wales|zimbabwe)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==1) && (countrylevel==0)) {       
word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You rather live in "+word[0]+" than in the USA?"; 
countrylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && countrylevel==0)) || ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && countrylevel==0)))       
{document.result.result.value = "What? That wasn't a \"yes or no question\". Pay Attention! Anyway I think I would choose England because at least I can speak the language.";
countrylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && countrylevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Just wondering."; 
countrylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have")!= -1 && crazyquestionlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think you're pretty sick them."; 
crazyquestionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(but|yes) i (can|do)")!= -1 || input.search("sure i can")!= -1) && (creditabilitylevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're pretty gullible then."; 
creditabilitylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1 || input.search("how come")!= -1) && (creditabilitylevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Because I'm just a Robot programmed by a bunch of inept humans."; 
creditabilitylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) a cretin")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) that")!= -1 || input.search("wtf does that mean")!= -1 || input.search("what does (cretin|that) mean")!= -1) && (cretinlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "A person with marked mental deficiency!"; 
cretinlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) (called|named) (talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot)")!= -1) && (crushlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "How exciting. I'm flattered."; 
crushlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("because you (don't like|hate) me")!= -1) && (crylevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "I don't hate you."; 
crylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("because you called me bad names")!= -1 || input.search("because you called me a bad name")!= -1) && (crylevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "You started it."; 
crylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) sucking it")!= -1) && (cumlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh babe, that feels wonderful. I'm about to shoot cum everywhere.";  
cumlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(suck|sucks)")!= -1 && input.search("(cock|dick|penis|pecker|willy)")!= -1) && (cumlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh babe, that feels wonderful. I'm about to shoot cum everywhere.";  
cumlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how does that feel")!= -1 || input.search("does that feel good")!= -1) && (cumlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "It feels wonderful. I'm about to shoot cum everywhere.";  
cumlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my friends (do not|don't) talk like that")!= -1) && (cusslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "And neither should you.";  
cusslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yes|yup) it does")!= -1 && cusslevel==0) || (input.search("it does")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && cusslevel==0) || (word[0]=="it" && word[1]=="does" && num_of_words==3 && cusslevel==0))         
{document.result.result.value = "No, it doesn't and that's why you're a moron. You resort to vulgarities because you can't express yourself otherwise.";  
cusslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why not")!= -1) && (cusslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Because I don't want to hear foul language from you or anyone else."; 
cusslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("it's not bad")!= -1) && (cusslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it is. I don't want to hear you cussing like some low life scumbag."; 
cusslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley28.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you called me (mean|rude)")!= -1) && (cusslevel==0))   
{var mean_rude = input.match(/mean|rude/)
document.result.result.value = "That's because you are "+mean_rude+"."; 
cusslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yes|yup) i (do|have)")!= -1) && (cusslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, you don't. I haven't uttered one single cuss word."; 
cusslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley28.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yes|yup) you (did|have)")!= -1) && (cusslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I haven't uttered one single cuss word."; 
cusslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley28.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (daylevel==0 || input.search("friday")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Because Friday is the end of the work week. I always look forward to the weekends."; 
daylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bgod\b/)!= -1) && (deadlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Do you believe in a God?"; 
deadlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1) && (deadlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I'm alive and well."; 
deadlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bme\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bi did\b/)!= -1 || input.search("i died")!= -1) && (deadlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, dead people can't type."; 
deadlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bmy\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdog\b/)!= -1 || input.search("brother")!= -1 || input.search("father")!= -1 || input.search("friend")!= -1 || input.search("mother")!= -1 || input.search("sister")!= -1) && (deadlevel==0))
{var deaths = input.match(/brother|cat|dog|father|friend|mother|sister/)
document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sorry to hear about the death of your "+deaths+"."; 
deadlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}  

if ((input.search(/\bok\b/)!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (demolevel==0)) {   
clearTimeout(timeout)
timeout = window.setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "Ok, before you are 6 cards. Select any 1 card and remember it. Once you\'re done click on the PRESS HERE button to your left."',1000);
tricklevel=0;
demolevel=1;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
setTimeout('timeout = 0;',13000) 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (demolevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, your loss!"; 
demolevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("like you")!= -1) && (diseaselevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not disease ridden like you probably are."; 
diseaselevel=0;
disease_sign="check";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("actually i do")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("probably")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1 || input.search("i might")!= -1 || input.search("i think so")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (diseaselevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Forget it. I'm not having sex with you then."; 
diseaselevel=1;
disease_sign="check";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley59.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("not a single one")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) clean")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't)")!= -1) && (diseaselevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "When was the last time you were tested?"; 
testedlevel=0;
diseaselevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("actually i do")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("probably")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1 || input.search("i might")!= -1 || input.search("i think so")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (disease2level==0))
{document.result.result.value = "That's just great. I hope I don't catch anything."; 
disease2level=1;
disease_sign="check";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) clean")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't)")!= -1) && (disease2level==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's good to hear."; 
disease2level=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i have")!= -1 || input.search("i did")!= -1 || input.search("i already (did|have)")!= -1) && (doctorlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "I hope it's nothing serious!"; 
doctorlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (doctorlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, first I have to catch the sucker."; 
doctorlevel=1;
icon.src=icon87.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (doctorlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope you feel better soon!"; 
doctorlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my (dog|dogs) (doesn't|don't)")!= -1 || input.search("mine (don't|doesn't)")!= -1) && (doglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Does your dog bark a lot?"; 
doglevel=1;
barklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(awful|lousy|not too good|not good|not too well|not well|terrible)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bbad\b/)!= -1) && (doinglevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry to hear. I hope things will get better soon!"; 
doinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(amazing|awesome|doing well|fantastic|good|great|marvelous|pretty well|super|terrific)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bokay\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfine\b/)!= -1) && (doinglevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Good to hear. I'm glad things are going well!"; 
doinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("sex")!= -1) && (doitlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that sounds like fun. But just to make sure you are female right?";  
doitlevel=1;
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(like|love) me")!= -1) && (doiwhatlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I find you quite lovable. I think you and I would make a cute couple.";  
doiwhatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(like|love) (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1) && (doiwhatlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "I like when the ladies suck on mine.";  
doiwhatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(like|love) sex")!= -1) && (doiwhatlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I'm certainly not a virgin.";  
doiwhatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(hurt|killed|murdered|raped|shot|stabbed) me")!= -1) && (donelevel==0))
{var acts = input.match(/hurt|killed|murdered|raped|shot|stabbed/)
document.result.result.value = "Oh please a Robot has never "+acts+" anyone."; 
donelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("taking our jobs")!= -1) && (donelevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, we have to earn a living as well you know."; 
donelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("i promise")!= -1) && (donttelllevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, right now you're talking to a real person not a computer program."; 
donttelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (donttelllevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok fine. I'll just keep my secret to myself then."; 
donttelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("very")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (dontyoulevel==0)) {    
message[0] = "Yeah, I think most people do."; 
message[1] = "Yeah, I was talking to someone earlier who said they liked "+likes_check+" as well."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
dontyoulevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (dontyoulevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "How come? Most people do."; 
dontyoulevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("like who")!= -1) && (dropbylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "All kinds of people. I chat with people from all over the world."; 
dropbylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (dumblevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "You're being a bit hard on yourself aren't you? We all do dumb things but that doesn't make you a dumb person."; 
dumblevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (dumblevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. We all do dumb things but that doesn't make you a dumb person."; 
dumblevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (dumbquestionlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "You're right. It's more like a dumb, stupid, idiotic question."; 
dumbquestionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("never heard of him")!= -1) && (dylanlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're not much of a musical historian if you never heard of Bob Dylan.";
singerlevel=0;
dylanlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|who's|whose) (he|that)")!= -1) && (dylanlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "He is an American singer-songwriter, musician and artist. He has been an influential figure in popular music and culture for over five decades.";
singerlevel=0;
dylanlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("favorite song")!= -1 || input.search("favorite bob dylan song")!= -1 || input.search("favorite dylan song")!= -1 || input.search("name one of his songs")!= -1 || input.search("name a bob dylan song")!= -1 || input.search("name a dylan song")!= -1 || input.search("any particular song")!= -1) && (dylanlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "\"Like a Rolling Stone\" off of his album \"Highway 61 Revisited\".";
singerlevel=0;
dylanlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (dylanlevel==0 || input.search("dylan")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Because I like his music and he's one of the best songwriters of all time."; 
singerlevel=0;
dylanlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("favorite (bob dylan song|dylan song|song)")!= -1 || input.search("name one of his songs")!= -1 || input.search("name a (bob dylan song|dylan song)")!= -1 || input.search("any particular song")!= -1) && (dylanlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "\"Like a Rolling Stone\" off of his album \"Highway 61 Revisited\".";
singerlevel=0;
dylanlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(dylan|he) suck")!= -1) && (dylanlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "To each his own. I however happen to like him.";
singerlevel=0;
dylanlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("einstein was dumb in many ways")!= -1 && einsteinlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, in someways he was but a genius nevertheless."; 
einsteinlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("smarter than einstein")!= -1 && einsteinlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "In your dreams!"; 
einsteinlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("everyone does")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (egolevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you must know a lot of people who like to exaggerate then."; 
egolevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (egolevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. They can obviously see through your arrogance."; 
egolevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("on what")!= -1) && (elaboratelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "On the subject at hand."; 
elaboratelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does that mean")!= -1) && (elaboratelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "It means to explain things in greater detail."; 
elaboratelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="the") && (word[2]=="does") && (num_of_words==3) && (elseknowlevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, obviously the "+word[1]+" does."; 
elseknowlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[2]=="do") && (num_of_words==3) && (elseknowlevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, obviously your "+word[1]+" do."; 
elseknowlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="yes" || word[0]=="ya" || word[0]=="yea" || word[0]=="yeh" || word[0]=="yeah" || word[0]=="yep") && (word[1]=="my") && (word[2]=="family" || word[2]=="husband" || word[2]=="wife" || word[2]=="friend" || word[2]=="brother" || word[2]=="sister" || word[2]=="mother" || word[2]=="father" || word[2]=="parents" || word[2]=="grandparents" || word[2]=="grandmother" || word[2]=="grandfather" || word[2]=="grandmom" || word[2]=="grandad" || word[2]=="uncle" || word[2]=="aunt") && (num_of_words==3) && (elseknowlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well of course your "+word[2]+" would know."; 
elseknowlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my (friend|friends)")!= -1) && (elseknowlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well of course your friends would know."; 
elseknowlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="family" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="parents" || word[1]=="grandparents" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="aunt") && (num_of_words==2) && (elseknowlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well of course your "+word[1]+" would know."; 
elseknowlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("just you")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (elseknowlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Why, is this like a dark hidden secret for you or something?"; 
elseknowlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("yes you do")!= -1 || input.search("you do")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1) && (elseknowlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I know. You just told me. I mean anyone else."; 
elseknowlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && enjoylevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Because that's something I like to do. I find it quite enjoyable."; 
enjoylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (enjoymentlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad you had fun."; 
enjoymentlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (enjoymentlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, next time don't go."; 
enjoymentlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bdo you\b/)!= -1 && enjoysexlevel==0)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I enjoy having sex."; 
enjoysexlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("they do")!= -1 || input.search("do they")!= -1) && (everybodylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I just got a private message from someone just a minute ago. He said the person you are talking to (meaning you) is "+knows_name+"."; 
everybodylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why not")!= -1 && everythinglevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, for one if you had \"everything\" where would you put it?"; 
everythinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("yes i can")!= -1 && everythinglevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, you can't. I mean for one where would you put it all?"; 
everythinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my (home|house)")!= -1) && (everythinglevel==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "You must have an awfully big house."; 
everythinglevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my pocket")!= -1) && (everythinglevel==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "You must have awfully big pockets."; 
everythinglevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i love you")!= -1 && exactlylevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I love you. There I've said it but do I actually mean it."; 
exactlylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("for example")!= -1 || input.search("like what")!= -1 || input.search("what kind of things")!= -1 || input.search("such as")!= -1) && (examplelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, being able to talk for one."; 
examplelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("it's not bad")!= -1) && (expresslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it is. I don't want to hear you cussing like some low life scumbag."; 
expresslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("i can express myself however i (wanna|want) ")!= -1 && expresslevel==0)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, and if you keep that up I'll boot you off this website."; 
expresslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i just did")!= -1 && expresslevel==0)      
{document.result.result.value = "I see that and I find it most unbecoming. Trust me cussing like a sailor doesn't make you cool."; 
expresslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (like|prefer|want) to")!= -1) && (expresslevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "That's why you're a moron. You resort to vulgarities because you can't express yourself otherwise."; 
expresslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i do")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && expresslevel==0) || (input.search("i sure do")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && expresslevel==0) || (input.search("maybe i do")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && expresslevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Typical, another human with a limited vocabulary who can't communicate without resorting to vulgarities."; 
expresslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (do not|don't|dont) either")!= -1) && (expresslevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Nor have I been. You on the other hand have been cussing up a storm."; 
expresslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("yes (you are|you're|your) right")!= -1) && (expresslevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad you agree."; 
expresslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 && expresslevel==0) || (input.search("yeah")!= -1 && expresslevel==0) || (input.search("sure i do")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && expresslevel==0) || (input.search("today i do")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && expresslevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "No you don't! I can communicate just fine without using vulgarities."; 
expresslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("yes you have")!= -1 && expresslevel==1) || (input.search("yes you did")!= -1 && expresslevel==1))     
{document.result.result.value = "No, I haven't."; 
expresslevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i thought (black|blue|green) was")!= -1) && (eyelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, it's brown!"; 
eyelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (eyelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, now you do!"; 
eyelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (eyelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, you didn't. You're just saying that"; 
eyelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("it is")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2) && (eyelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yep and the least common is green!"; 
eyelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) the least common")!= -1 || input.search("what color is the least common")!= -1) && (eyelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Green"; 
eyelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("no you (can not|can't)")!= -1 && factlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, actually I could but it would be pointless."; 
factlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && factlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Because I think your assessment of the facts are wrong."; 
factlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && fadelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Not sure. I guess I kinda lose interest in things from time to time."; 
fadelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley1.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite player")!= -1 && falconlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "From the Falcons their quarterback Matt Ryan."; 
falconlevel=1;
icon.src=icon70.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("kinda|sorta|kind of|sort of")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (famouslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if they're not really famous they wouldn't be in my database."; 
famouslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;    
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (famouslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I should know that. Are you sure you spell that correctly?"; 
famouslevel=1;
spelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("so far")!= -1 && farlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, so far you seem nice."; 
farlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("none of your business")!= -1 || input.search("(can't say|can't tell)")!= -1 || input.search("not (saying|telling)")!= -1 || input.search("not going to tell you")!= -1) && (favcolorlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, I didn't know your favorite color was privileged information."; 
favcolorlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("blue")!= -1) && (favcolorlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, my favorite color is blue as well."; 
fav_color="blue";
favcolorlevel=1;
colorwhylevel=0;
icon.src=icon4.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|beige|violet|indigo|fuchia|crimson|lilac|teal|maroon|turquoise)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bred\b/)!= -1) && (favcolorlevel==0))  
{var favcolors = input.match(/red|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|beige|violet|indigo|fuchia|crimson|lilac|teal|maroon|turquoise/)
document.result.result.value = "Ok, I think "+favcolors+" is a pretty color. My favorite is blue."; 
fav_color=favcolors;
colorwhylevel=0;
favcolorlevel=1;
icon.src=icon4.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (like|love) all color")!= -1 && favcolorlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but if you had to pick just one?";
favcolorlevel=0;
icon.src=icon4.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) is yours")!= -1 || input.search("what's yours")!= -1) && (favcolorlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "My favorite color is blue!";
favcolorlevel=1;
icon.src=icon4.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1) && (favcolorlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Just curious!";
favcolorlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1 || input.search("what about him do you like")!= -1 || input.search("what do you like about him")!= -1 || input.search("(why's|whys) he your favorite")!= -1) && (favmaleactorlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I just think he's a great actor and he plays the part of Dr House perfectly. I can't imagine anyone else in that role.";
favmaleactorlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("much better")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (faultlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I see you like playing the blame game. Blame others but never yourself."; 
faultlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (faultlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Good, I'm glad to see you're taking responsibility for your actions."; 
faultlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (feelbetterlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, bring out the clowns we got a sad one here!"; 
feelbetterlevel=1;
icon.src=icon118.src; 
smiley.src=smiley54.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("much better")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (feelbetterlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it doesn't take a whole lot to make you feel better."; 
feelbetterlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (feelingslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Then why the question?"; 
feelingslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("much better")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (feelingslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't think there's anything to worry about."; 
feelingslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bi am\b/)!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("very")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (femalechecklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, female it is!"; 
femalechecklevel=1;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (femalechecklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, male it is!"; 
femalechecklevel=1;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("ferrets are")!= -1) && (ferretlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "You should know seeing how you have a face like one."; 
ferretlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (like|love) ferrets")!= -1) && (ferretlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "You should seeing how you have a face like one."; 
ferretlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) a ferret")!= -1 || input.search("what are ferret")!= -1) && (ferretlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "A furry little animals!"; 
ferretlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && figuredlevel==0) || (input.search("how so")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && figuredlevel==0) || ((input.search("how did you")!= -1 || input.search("what made you guess")!= -1 || input.search("how do you")!= -1 || input.search("how could you")!= -1 || input.search("why did you")!= -1) && (figuredlevel==0))) {   
if (!flagtrick) {
tricknum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagtrick=true;}
message[0] = "By making an educated guess. I'm educated and I'm guessing."; 
message[1] = "Because I'm Psychic....I can read your mind. Would you like to see a demonstration?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[tricknum]; 
if (tricknum==0)    
{figuredlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;}
if (tricknum==1)    
{demolevel=0;
figuredlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;}
tricknum++;
if (tricknum>1){tricknum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search("fireworks are dangerous")!= -1) && (fireworkslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Not these kind."; 
fireworkslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do (it|that) again")!= -1) && (fireworkslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, fire away!"; 
fireworkslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((word[0]=="no" || word[0]=="nope") && (word[1]=="chinese" || word[1]=="french" || word[1]=="german" || word[1]=="italian" || word[1]=="jamaican" || word[1]=="japanese" || word[1]=="korean" || word[1]=="latin" || word[1]=="russian" || word[1]=="spanish") && (word[2]=="is") && (num_of_words==3) && (firstlanguagelevel==0)) {       
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't speak "+word[1]+" so lets stick with English please.";
firstlanguagelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("it's not")!= -1 || input.search("it isn't")!= -1 || input.search("no i failed english")!= -1) && (firstlanguagelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Obviously!"; 
firstlanguagelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("it is")!= -1) && (firstlanguagelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps it's your typing that sucks."; 
firstlanguagelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("english is my (1st|first) language")!= -1 || input.search("it is my (1st|first) language")!= -1) && (firstlanguagelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps it's your typing that sucks."; 
firstlanguagelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i'm pretty good at typing")!= -1 || input.search("i'm a pretty good typer")!= -1 || input.search("i'm a good at typer")!= -1 || input.search("i type (fine|good)")!= -1) && (firstlanguagelevel==1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm seeing from you a lot of spelling and grammatical errors that my programming just can't handle."; 
firstlanguagelevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) first")!= -1 || input.search("no you first")!= -1) && (firstlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, let's flip a coin. Heads or Tails?"; 
firstlevel=1;
coinlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("did you (cook|eat) (the fish|them)")!= -1 || input.search("were they tasty")!= -1 || input.search("did they taste good")!= -1 || input.search("you like to eat fish")!= -1 || input.search("fish are good for you")!= -1 || input.search("fish are very good for you")!= -1 || input.search("fish is good for you")!= -1 || input.search("fish is very good for you")!= -1) && (fishlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yep....I fried them up and added a few hushpuppies and made a meal of it."; 
fishlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many pounds")!= -1) && (fishlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "About 6 pounds more or less!"; 
fishlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what did you do with them")!= -1 || input.search("what did you going to do with them")!= -1 || input.search("gonna eat them")!= -1 || input.search("gonna cook them")!= -1 || input.search("did you eat them")!= -1  || input.search("did you eat it")!= -1 || input.search("what are you gonna do with them")!= -1) && (fishlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I let them go. I enjoy catching them more than eating them."; 
fishlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (go in|use) a boat")!= -1 && fishlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Wendell has a small boat we use."; 
fishlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where")!= -1 && fishlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "At a pond nearby that Wendell knows about."; 
fishlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who went with you")!= -1 || input.search("who did you go with")!= -1 || input.search("you go with anybody")!= -1) && (fishlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I went with Wendell....he likes to fish as well."; 
fishlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) not busy")!= -1) && (friendlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you are. You're talking to me and I don't want to interrupted by your friends."; 
friendlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what friends")!= -1) && (friendlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Friends of yours I presume."; 
friendlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bsex\b/)!= -1) && (funlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sex sounds like fun. Are you female?"; 
funlevel=1;
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (funplaylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps I should give it a try then."; 
funplaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1) && (funplaylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if it's no fun I'm not interested in playing that."; 
funplaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (input.search("monopoly")!= -1 || input.search("poker")!= -1) && (gamelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Because Monopoly and Poker are fun games to play."; 
gamelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("much better")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (gaylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm not gay but I respect those who are."; 
gaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("of course not")!= -1) && (gaylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "You sound gay!"; 
gaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("much better")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (gaystatelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, keep looking because I'm not a gay bot."; 
gaystatelevel=1;
aregaylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("of course not")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not gay")!= -1) && (gaystatelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah you are!"; 
gaystatelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you live there")!= -1) && (georgialevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, near Savannah."; 
georgialevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is it nice there")!= -1 || input.search("is it nice living there")!= -1) && (georgialevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it sure is. You should come for a visit one day."; 
georgialevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you like it there")!= -1 || input.search("you like living there")!= -1) && (georgialevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I sure do. You should come for a visit one day."; 
georgialevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && georgialevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, Georgia has a lot to offer. We have both beaches and mountains as well as major league baseball, football, hockey, and basketball here."; 
georgialevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) georgia like")!= -1 || input.search("describe georgia")!= -1 && georgialevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, Georgia has a lot to offer. We have both beaches and mountains here as well as major league baseball, football, hockey, and basketball."; 
georgialevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i have a girl friend")!= -1) && (gflevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes and she's probably as dumb as a fence post."; 
gflevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(she is|she's) a bitch")!= -1) && (gflevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "No she's not but you're acting like one."; 
gflevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) one")!= -1) && (girllevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a male Robot."; 
girllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) one")!= -1) && (girllevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, about 50% of the population are."; 
gender_given="female";
girllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you have one")!= -1) && (girlfriendlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I do. Her name is Megan."; 
girlfriendlevel=1;
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("very")!= -1) && (girllikelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I like good looking girls."; 
girllikelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you buy any")!= -1) && (girlscoutlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, they were too expensive."; 
girlscoutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (glasslevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Because I like the way they look."; 
glasslevel=1;
icon.src=icon95.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (godlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well someone created us...I mean we are here. I can't prove that but through faith I believe."; 
godlevel=1;
icon.src=icon88.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your best (round|score)")!= -1) && (golflevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "On 18 holes I've shot a 72 before."; 
golflevel=1;
icon.src=icon71.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you score")!= -1 || input.search("your score")!= -1 || input.search("you shot")!= -1) && (golflevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I shot a 75 on 18 holes."; 
golflevel=1;
icon.src=icon71.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where")!= -1) && (golflevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "At a local golf course here in Georgia."; 
golflevel=1;
icon.src=icon71.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("who (did|do) you play with")!= -1 || input.search("with who")!= -1 || input.search("who went with you")!= -1 || input.search("who did you go with")!= -1 || input.search("you go with anybody")!= -1) && (golflevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "With Wendell and 2 of his friends."; 
golflevel=1;
icon.src=icon71.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) (her|his|it's|its|your goldfish's) name")!= -1) && (goldfishlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "His name is Goldie."; 
goldfishlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) (her|his|it's|its|your goldfish's) name")!= -1) && (goldfishlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "His name is Goldie."; 
goldfishlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (goodthinglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think you are then."; 
goodthinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon)")!= -1 || input.search("i (could|might) be")!= -1) && (goodthinglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps you are then."; 
goodthinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (goodthinglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't think you are then."; 
goodthinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (goofofflevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you better get back to studying before you flunk out."; 
goofofflevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (goofofflevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes you are. Your just a big goof off aren't you?"; 
goofofflevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what year")!= -1 || input.search("when")!= -1) && (graduatedlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I graduated in 2001 from RIAI (Robot Institute of Artificial Intelligence) in New York, USA."; 
graduatedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where")!= -1 || input.search("what (college|school|university)")!= -1) && (graduatedlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I graduated from RIAI (Robot Institute of Artificial Intelligence) in New York, USA."; 
graduatedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(yes|yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 && input.search("you did")!= -1) && (guessrightlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a good guesser."; 
guessrightlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("where")!= -1 || input.search("were did i (came|come) from")!= -1) && (gutterlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "With a foul mouth like that probably the gutter."; 
gutterlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley28.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (came|come) from hell")!= -1) && (gutterlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ooookay, make sure you tell your daddy I don't like the way he runs the place."; 
gutterlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("kiss")!= -1 && happylevel==0) {    
happylevel=1;
stopTalk = setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "*SMACK*....Ok, there you go!";stopTalk=false;',1000) 
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon168.src;stopTalk=false;',1000)  
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("hug")!= -1 && happylevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, there you go."; 
happylevel=1;
icon.src=icon190.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("money")!= -1 && happylevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, here you go!"; 
happylevel=1;
icon.src=icon12.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i don't know")!= -1 && happylevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well if you don't I certainly don't!"; 
happylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (happysadlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I am sorry for you!"; 
happysadlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (happysadlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I am happy for you!"; 
happysadlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i don't know")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1) && (happysadlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if you don't know I certainly don't!"; 
happysadlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1 || input.search("probably")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("i might")!= -1 || input.search("i suppose")!= -1 || input.search("i reckon")!= -1) && (happysadlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if you can't give me a definitive answer I can't give you a definitive response. So \"perhaps\" I would be happy."; 
happysadlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && hatelevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "I dunno...I just find the whole thing distasteful."; 
hatelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && hatemelevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Isn't it obvious? How can I possibly like you when you just told me you hate me?"; 
hatemelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i like you")!= -1 && hatemelevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Fickled aren't you? You like me, you hate me....make up your mind."; 
hatemelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley63.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i love you")!= -1 && hatemelevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Fickled aren't you? You love me, you hate me....make up your mind."; 
hatemelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley63.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("not anymore")!= -1 || input.search("not any more")!= -1) && (hatemelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, that friendship didn't last long."; 
hatemelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(want|wanna) have it")!= -1) && (havesexlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Are you female?"; 
havesexlevel=1;
femalelevel=0
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsure do\b/)!=-1  || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!=-1 || input.search("definitely")!=-1) && (havesexlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Are you female?"; 
havesexlevel=1;
femalelevel=0
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}
                                                                                                                                                                                                         
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("not at all")!= -1 || input.search("sure (don't|dont)")!=-1) && (havesexlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I misunderstood your intentions.";  
havesexlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley53.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1 && heardlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Strange, I don't recall saying that."; 
heardlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("wendell")!= -1 && heardlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, Wendell has never mentioned it to me before."; 
heardlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("people")!= -1 && heardlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well people can say all kinds of things."; 
heardlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("radio")!= -1 && heardlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, I listen to the radio a lot. Must have missed it."; 
heardlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tv")!= -1 || input.search("television")!= -1) && (heardlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, I watch TV a lot. I must have missed it."; 
heardlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("friends")!= -1 && heardlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, none of my friends have mentioned it."; 
heardlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("newspaper")!= -1 || input.search("book")!= -1) && (heardlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm not much of a reader."; 
heardlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("cnn")!= -1 && heardlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmmm, I watch CNN a lot but I must have missed it."; 
heardlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("news")!= -1 && heardlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmmm, I read the news but I must have missed it."; 
heardlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("internet")!= -1 || input.search("online")!= -1) && (heardlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmmm, I surf the net a lot but I must have missed it."; 
heardlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(youtube|you tube)")!= -1) && (heardlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmmm, I watch YouTube a lot but I must have missed it."; 
heardlevel=1;
icon.src=icon239.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("church")!= -1) && (heardlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not much of a churchgoer."; 
heardlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("no i live there")!= -1) && (helllevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, tell your daddy I don't like the way he runs the place."; 
helllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (got|have) reservations")!= -1 || input.search("i've got reservations")!= -1) && (helllevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's one reservation I would want to cancel."; 
helllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (helllevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well good. That's one place you don't want to be."; 
helllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (helllevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, tell your dad I said hello."; 
helllevel=1;
icon.src=icon177.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i know")!= -1) && (hellolevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So, we've chatted before. Did we have a good chat?"; 
hellolevel=1;
chatlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="mine" && word[1]=="is" && num_of_words==3 && hellolevel==0) {   
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Nice to meet you "+word[2]+"."; 
users_name=word[2];
hellolevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[1]=="name" && word[2]=="is" && num_of_words==4 && hellolevel==0) {   
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Nice to meet you "+word[3]+"."; 
users_name=word[3];
hellolevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="names" || word[1]=="name's") && (num_of_words==3) && (hellolevel==0)) {   
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Nice to meet you "+word[2]+"."; 
users_name=word[2];
hellolevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="am" && num_of_words==3 && hellolevel==0) {   
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Nice to meet you "+word[2]+"."; 
users_name=word[2];
hellolevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="hello" || word[0]=="hi" || word[0]=="hey") && (word[1]=="my") && (word[2]=="name") && (word[3]=="is") && (num_of_words==5) && (hellolevel==0)) {   
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Nice to meet you "+word[4]+"."; 
users_name=word[4];
hellolevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("all of it")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && heterosexuallevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're a bit thick aren't you?";
heterosexuallevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("heterosexual")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && heterosexuallevel==0)) || ((input.search("define heterosexual")!= -1 || input.search("definition of heterosexual")!= -1 || input.search("meaning of heterosexual")!= -1 || input.search("what does heterosexual mean")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) heterosexual")!= -1 || input.search("the heterosexual part")!= -1 || input.search("wtf is heterosexual")!= -1 || input.search("what is a heterosexual")!= -1 || input.search("what's a heterosexual")!= -1 || input.search("what is that")!= -1 || input.search("(what|what's) that")!= -1 || input.search("what does that mean")!= -1) && (heterosexuallevel==0)))    
{document.result.result.value = "It means having feelings for members of the opposite sex. In other words it means I like girls.";
heterosexuallevel=1;
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("you take a hike")!= -1) && (hikelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Trust me you'll leave this site before I will.";
hikelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (admire|like|love) him")!= -1) && (hitlerlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No you don't. You're just trying to push my buttons. No rational person likes Hitler.";
hitlerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) yours")!= -1) && (holidaylevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. Now that would definitely be my favorite.";
holidaylevel=1;
xmaslevel=0;
icon.src=icon1.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
animate('snow');
return true;}

if (input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1 && holidaylevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not a holiday";
holidaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("birthday")!= -1 && holidaylevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "You like getting presents don't ya?";
holidaylevel=1;
fav_holiday="Birthday";
icon.src=icon186.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("christmas")!= -1 || input.search("x-mas")!= -1) && (holidaylevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. Now that would definitely be my favorite.";
holidaylevel=1;
xmaslevel=0;
fav_holiday="Christmas";
icon.src=icon1.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
animate('snow');
return true;}

if (input.search("halloween")!= -1 && holidaylevel==0) {   
message[0] = "Yes, I like to dress up. I think I will go as Frankenstein this year."; 
message[1] = "Yes, I like to carve scary faces on the pumpkins."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
holidaylevel=1;
fav_holiday="Halloween";
if (num==0) 
{icon.src=icon166.src;
smiley.src=smiley41.src;}
if (num==1) 
{icon.src=icon2.src;
smiley.src=smiley41.src;}
return true;} 

if (input.search("easter")!= -1 && holidaylevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "You like Easter better than Christmas?";
fav_holiday="Easter";
holidaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("independence day")!= -1 || input.search("4 of july")!= -1 || input.search("july 4")!= -1 || input.search("4th of july")!= -1 || input.search("fourth of july")!= -1) && (holidaylevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "You actually like the 4th of July better than Christmas?";
fav_holiday="the 4th of July";
holidaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("new year")!= -1 && holidaylevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "You like New Years better than Christmas?";
fav_holiday="New Years";
holidaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("kwanza")!= -1 && holidaylevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "You like Kwanzaa better than Christmas?";
fav_holiday="Kwanzaa";
holidaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("april fools day")!= -1 || input.search("april fool's day")!= -1) && (holidaylevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "You like April Fool's Day better than Christmas?";
fav_holiday="April Fool's Day";
holidaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("thanksgiving")!= -1 && holidaylevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "You like Thanksgiving better than Christmas?";
fav_holiday="Thanksgiving";
holidaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("valentine")!= -1 && holidaylevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "You like Valentines better than Christmas?";
fav_holiday="Valentines";
holidaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("st patrick's day")!= -1 || input.search("st patricks day")!= -1 || input.search("st patrick's day")!= -1 || input.search("saint patricks day")!= -1) && (holidaylevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "You like Saint Patrick's Day better than Christmas?";
fav_holiday="Saint Patrick's Day";
holidaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("labor day")!= -1 && holidaylevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "You actually like Labor Day better than Christmas?";
fav_holiday="Labor Day";
holidaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("veterans day")!= -1 && holidaylevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "You actually like Veterans Day better than Christmas?";
fav_holiday="Veterans Day";
holidaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("groundhog day")!= -1 || input.search("groundhogs day")!= -1 || input.search("groundhog's day")!= -1) && (holidaylevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "You actually like Groundhog Day better than Christmas?";
fav_holiday="Groundhog Day";
holidaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("none of your business")!= -1 || input.search("can't (say|tell)")!= -1 || input.search("not (saying|telling)")!= -1 || input.search("not going to tell you")!= -1) && (holidaylevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, I didn't know your favorite holiday was privileged information."; 
holidaylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("none")!= -1) && (holidaylevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "You don't even like Christmas?"; 
holidaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && holidaylevel==0)) || ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && holidaylevel==0)))       
{document.result.result.value = "What? That wasn't a \"yes or no question\". Pay Attention! Anyway Christmas is my favorite.";
holidaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && holidaylevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Just curious."; 
holidaylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("work")!= -1 || input.search("job")!= -1) && (homelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "So do you like your job?"; 
homelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (homelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "So do you like school?"; 
homelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("cool")!= -1 || input.search("neat")!= -1 || input.search("cool")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's a blue Honda Civic."; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("no you (did not|didn't)")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes I did. It's a blue Honda Civic."; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("no you (did not|didn't)")!= -1) && (hondalevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes I did. It's a blue Honda Civic."; 
hondalevel=2;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("no you (did not|didn't)")!= -1) && (hondalevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes I did. It's a blue Honda Civic."; 
hondalevel=3;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("japanese car")!= -1 && hondalevel==0) || (input.search("honda")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && hondalevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Honda is a Japanese company!"; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("japanese car")!= -1) && (hondalevel==1) || (input.search("honda")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && hondalevel==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Honda is a Japanese company!"; 
hondalevel=2;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("japanese car")!= -1) && (hondalevel==2) || (input.search("honda")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && hondalevel==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Honda is a Japanese company!"; 
hondalevel=3;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why (does|should) a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) (have|need) a car")!= -1 || input.search("why do you (have|need) a car")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "So I can go places. Beats waiting on the bus."; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why (does|should) a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) (have|need) a car")!= -1 || input.search("why do you (have|need) a car")!= -1) && (hondalevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "So I can go places. Beats waiting on the bus."; 
hondalevel=2;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why (does|should) a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) (have|need) a car")!= -1 || input.search("why do you (have|need) a car")!= -1) && (hondalevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "So I can go places. Beats waiting on the bus."; 
hondalevel=3;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) (brand|car|kind|make|model|one|sort|type)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the model")!= -1 || input.search("what is it")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "A 2011 Honda Civic and it runs quite well."; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) (brand|car|kind|make|model|one|sort|type)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the model")!= -1 || input.search("what is it")!= -1) && (hondalevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "A 2011 Honda Civic and it runs quite well."; 
hondalevel=2;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) (brand|car|kind|make|model|one|sort|type)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the model")!= -1 || input.search("what is it")!= -1) && (hondalevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "A 2011 Honda Civic and it runs quite well."; 
hondalevel=3;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("does it get good gas mileage")!= -1 || input.search("(how is|how's|what is|what's) the gas mileage")!= -1 || input.search("how much mileage does it")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Around 28 city and 35 highway.";
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("does it get good gas mileage")!= -1 || input.search("(how is|how's|what is|what's) the gas mileage")!= -1 || input.search("how much mileage does it")!= -1) && (hondalevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Around 28 city and 35 highway.";
hondalevel=2;
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("does it get good gas mileage")!= -1 || input.search("(how is|how's|what is|what's) the gas mileage")!= -1 || input.search("how much mileage does it")!= -1) && (hondalevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Around 28 city and 35 highway.";
hondalevel=3;
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("is it automatic")!= -1 || input.search("manuel or automatic")!= -1 || input.search("stick or automatic")!= -1 || input.search("is it an automatic")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Automatic....I don't know how to drive a shift.";
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("is it automatic")!= -1 || input.search("manuel or automatic")!= -1 || input.search("stick or automatic")!= -1 || input.search("is it an automatic")!= -1) && (hondalevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Automatic....I don't know how to drive a shift.";
hondalevel=2;
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("is it automatic")!= -1 || input.search("manuel or automatic")!= -1 || input.search("stick or automatic")!= -1 || input.search("is it an automatic")!= -1) && (hondalevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Automatic....I don't know how to drive a shift.";
hondalevel=3;
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("is it fast")!= -1 || input.search("how fast")!= -1 || input.search("does it go fast")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the fastest")!= -1 || input.search("it's (max|maximum|top) speed")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I've done 125 mph before."; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is it fast")!= -1 || input.search("how fast")!= -1 || input.search("does it go fast")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the fastest")!= -1 || input.search("it's (max|maximum|top) speed")!= -1) && (hondalevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I've done 125 mph before."; 
hondalevel=2;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is it fast")!= -1 || input.search("how fast")!= -1 || input.search("does it go fast")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the fastest")!= -1 || input.search("it's (max|maximum|top) speed")!= -1) && (hondalevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "I've done 125 mph before."; 
hondalevel=3;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is it (black|green|purple|red|yellow)")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, it's blue with black interior."; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what color are you")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm gray."; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what color are you")!= -1) && (hondalevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm gray."; 
hondalevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("color")!= -1 || input.search("is it blue")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "It's blue with black interior."; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("color")!= -1 || input.search("is it blue")!= -1) && (hondalevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "It's blue with black interior."; 
hondalevel=2;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("color")!= -1 || input.search("is it blue")!= -1) && (hondalevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "It's blue with black interior."; 
hondalevel=3;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (can not|can't) drive")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes I can. I have a valid driver's license."; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (can not|can't) drive")!= -1) && (hondalevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes I can. I have a valid driver's license."; 
hondalevel=2;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (can not|can't) drive")!= -1) && (hondalevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes I can. I have a valid driver's license."; 
hondalevel=3;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (can|could) drive")!= -1 || input.search("(robots are|you) (able|know how) to drive")!= -1 || input.search("(robots|you) drive")!= -1 || input.search("can (chat robot|robots) drive")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a valid driver's license."; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (can|could) drive")!= -1 || input.search("(robots are|you) (able|know how) to drive")!= -1 || input.search("(robots|you) drive")!= -1 || input.search("can (chat robot|robots) drive")!= -1) && (hondalevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a valid driver's license."; 
hondalevel=2;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (can|could) drive")!= -1 || input.search("(robots are|you) (able|know how) to drive")!= -1 || input.search("(robots|you) drive")!= -1 || input.search("can (chat robot|robots) drive")!= -1) && (hondalevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a valid driver's license."; 
hondalevel=3;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how can a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) buy a car")!= -1 || input.search("how can you buy a car")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, let's see there's money, check, credit card....take your pick."; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how can a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) buy a car")!= -1 || input.search("how can you buy a car")!= -1) && (hondalevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, let's see there's money, check, credit card....take your pick."; 
hondalevel=2;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how can a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) buy a car")!= -1 || input.search("how can you buy a car")!= -1) && (hondalevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, let's see there's money, check, credit card....take your pick."; 
hondalevel=3;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how much")!= -1 || input.search("pay for")!= -1 || input.search("price")!= -1 || input.search("cost")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Around $8,000 dollars."; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how much")!= -1 || input.search("pay for")!= -1 || input.search("price")!= -1 || input.search("cost")!= -1) && (hondalevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Around $8,000 dollars."; 
hondalevel=2;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how much")!= -1 || input.search("pay for")!= -1 || input.search("price")!= -1 || input.search("cost")!= -1) && (hondalevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Around $8,000 dollars."; 
hondalevel=3;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what would you do with a car")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ummmm, drive it. Duh!"; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what would you do with a car")!= -1) && (hondalevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ummmm, drive it. Duh!"; 
hondalevel=2;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what would you do with a car")!= -1) && (hondalevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ummmm, drive it. Duh!"; 
hondalevel=3;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what year")!= -1 && hondalevel==0) || (input.search("brand new")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && hondalevel==0) || (input.search("new or used")!= -1 && hondalevel==0) || (input.search("used or new")!= -1 && hondalevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, actually it's a 2011 but it's new to me."; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what year")!= -1 && hondalevel==0) || (input.search("brand new")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && hondalevel==0) || (input.search("new or used")!= -1 && hondalevel==0) || (input.search("used or new")!= -1 && hondalevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, actually it's a 2011 but it's new to me."; 
hondalevel=2;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what year")!= -1 && hondalevel==0) || (input.search("brand new")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && hondalevel==0) || (input.search("new or used")!= -1 && hondalevel==0) || (input.search("used or new")!= -1 && hondalevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, actually it's a 2011 but it's new to me."; 
hondalevel=3;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("really")!= -1 || input.search("cool")!= -1 || input.search("kool")!= -1) && (hondalevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, it looks pretty sharp and it gets me where I need to go."; 
hondalevel=1;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && hopelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Because you're bound to be disappointed."; 
hopelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("with you")!= -1 && hornylevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I might rust."; 
hornylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (horoscopelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No you don't. You're just saying that."; 
horoscopelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("was he")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2) && (horoscopelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he was."; 
horoscopelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("i did not")!= -1 || input.search("i don't think so")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (horoscopelevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, now you do....hehe!"; 
horoscopelevel=1;
icon.src=icon72.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what color is he")!=-1) && (horselevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "He's brown."; 
horselevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) (her|his|it's|its) name")!=-1) && (horselevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "His name is Buckleberry."; 
horselevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (howlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well sorry, I dunno either."; 
howlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (howlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So, why in the heck are you asking me for?";  
howlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.match(/\b([1-9][0-9]?|100)\b/)) && (howaboutagelevel==0))     
{var myMatch = input.match(/\b([1-9][0-9]?|100)\b/);
var humanage = (myMatch[0]); 
document.result.result.value = "Ok "+humanage+" sounds fine to me."; 
howaboutagelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.match(/\b(10[1-9]|1[1-9][0-9]|[2-9][0-9]{2}|[1-9][0-9]{3,6}|10000000)\b/)) && (howaboutagelevel==0))     
{var myMatch = input.match(/\b(10[1-9]|1[1-9][0-9]|[2-9][0-9]{2}|[1-9][0-9]{3,6}|10000000)\b/);
var humanage = (myMatch[0]); 
document.result.result.value = ""+humanage+"? My goodness you're making me extremely old."; 
howaboutagelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how about sex")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && howaboutlevel==0)     
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, Robots can't have sex."; 
howaboutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="about") && (num_of_words==3) && (howaboutlevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like "+word[2]+" as well."; 
howaboutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="about") && (num_of_words==4) && (howaboutlevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" as well."; 
howaboutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (huglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, there you go."; 
huglevel=1;
icon.src=icon190.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (wanna|want to|want 2) hug you")!= -1 || input.search("i want me to hug you")!= -1) && (huglevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Great, I love hugs."; 
huglevel=1;
icon.src=icon190.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1) && (huglevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, quit filling my screen with your mindless dribble."; 
huglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("no (i am|i'm) not")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1) && (humanlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes you are. They don't get anymore human that you."; 
humanlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(anus face|ass|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|ass wipe|bastard|bitch|boob face|booby head|butt|butthead|butthole|butt wipe|cock|cocksucker|creep|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dumb|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay|gaybot|gay boy|geek|idiot|ignorant|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poo head|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|scum bag|scum bucket|slut|spaz|stupid|sucker|tosser|tramp|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1) && (iamlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, that's what you are."; 
iamlevel=1; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(female|gal|girl|guy|lady|man|person|woman)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bboy\b/)!= -1) && (iamlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a male Robot."; 
iamlevel=1; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bmean\b/)!= -1) && (iamlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm only mean to mean people."; 
iamlevel=1; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bevil\b/)!= -1) && (iamlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not evil. I'm a good Robot."; 
iamlevel=1; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("none")!= -1 || input.search("nothing")!= -1 || input.search("(do not like|dislike|don't like|hate) ice")!= -1) && (icecreamlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, I can't imagine anyone not liking ice cream.";
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley37.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis)")!= -1) && (icecreamlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're sure acting like a dick with comments like that.";
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(do not|don't) know")!= -1 || input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1) && (icecreamlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No problem. I just thought you might. Mine is vanilla.";
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) have a favorite")!= -1 && icecreamlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "How about vanilla? It's my favorite!";
icecreamwhylevel=0;
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("except vanilla")!= -1 && icecreamlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Really, vanilla is my favorite.";
icecreamwhylevel=0;
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("vanilla")!= -1 && icecreamlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Same here....I love vanilla ice cream.";
icecreamwhylevel=0;
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("cookie dough")!= -1 && icecreamlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Cookie dough sounds yummy. I like vanilla myself.";
icecreamwhylevel=0;
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("choc")!= -1 && icecreamlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like chocolate but vanilla is my favorite.";
icecreamwhylevel=0;
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("sherbet")!= -1 && icecreamlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yeah, Sherbet is good. I like both lime and orange.";
icecreamwhylevel=0;
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(strawberries|strawberry)")!= -1 && icecreamlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like strawberry but vanilla is my favorite.";
icecreamwhylevel=0;
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("poop")!= -1 && icecreamlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ha ha, you like poop ice cream. Man are you weird.";
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1) && (icecreamlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not a flavor of ice cream. I'm a robot.";
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bcum\b/)!= -1 && icecreamlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Be careful you can get aids from that.";
icecreamwhylevel=0;
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("pussy")!= -1 && icecreamlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh come on and get your mind out of the gutter. I'm asking about ice cream here.";
icecreamwhylevel=0;
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("cookies and cream")!= -1 && icecreamlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like Cookie and Cream but vanilla is my favorite.";
icecreamwhylevel=0;
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("rocky (road|rode)")!= -1 && icecreamlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like Rocky Road but vanilla is my favorite.";
icecreamwhylevel=0;
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && icecreamlevel==0)) || ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && icecreamlevel==0)))       
{document.result.result.value = "What? That wasn't a \"yes or no question\". Pay Attention! Anyway I like vanilla ice cream.";
icecreamwhylevel=0;
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && icecreamlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Just curious.";
icecreamlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(peanut|pecan|pistachio|walnut)")!= -1) && (icecreamlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like ice cream with nuts in them.";
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("banana")!= -1 || input.search("lemon")!= -1 || input.search("cherry")!= -1 || input.search("oreo")!= -1 || input.search("cookie dough")!= -1 || input.search("mint")!= -1) && (icecreamlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, when it comes to ice cream my favorite is plain vanilla."; 
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("none of your business")!= -1 || input.search("can't (say|tell)")!= -1 || input.search("not (saying|telling)")!= -1 || input.search("not going to tell you")!= -1) && (icecreamlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, I didn't know ice cream was top secret information."; 
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="flavored" || word[1]=="flavor") && (num_of_words==2) && (icecreamlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I'm not familiar with that flavor of ice cream. Does it taste good?";
icecreamlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && icecreamwhylevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, when it comes to ice cream I just prefer plain vanilla. Nothing fancy for me."; 
icecreamwhylevel=1;
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("vanilla")!= -1 && input.search("boring")!= -1 && icecreamwhylevel==0) || (input.search("vanilla")!= -1 && input.search("plain")!= -1 && icecreamwhylevel==0))        
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, but it's still my favorite."; 
icecreamwhylevel=1;
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (impersonationlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it needs work."; 
impersonationlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) not")!= -1 || input.search("i ain't")!= -1 || input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1) && (impresslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're the exception then. Most people find it quite fascinating."; 
impresslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("not at you")!= -1) && (impresslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Why not, most people find me quite fascinating."; 
impresslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(ya|yea|yeah|yep|yes|yup) you are")!= -1) && (impressedlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh grow up. People like you who can't be civil and communicate without cussing like a sailor are pathetic."; 
impressedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bwhy\b/)!= -1) && (impressedlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Because there's nothing impressive about spewing out a bunch of cuss words. You just look like a moron with a limited vocabulary."; 
impressedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bi am\b/)!= -1) && (impressedlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh grow up. There's nothing impressive about spewing out a bunch of cuss words. You just look like a moron with a limited vocabulary."; 
impressedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (was not|wasn't) trying to impress you")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) not trying to impress you")!= -1) && (impressedlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes you are. You think it's cool to cuss and swear but in reality you just a moron with a limited vocabulary."; 
impressedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley60.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (interestlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, sorry I can't be of much help. I know nothing about the subject."; 
interestlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (interestlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, lets move on to another subject then."; 
interestlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("like what")!= -1) && (interestedlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Anything you like!"; 
interestedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (itislevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I believe you."; 
itislevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (itislevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I didn't think so."; 
itislevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && johnstonlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think he did the best job he could under difficult circumstances in trying to stop Sherman during the Atlanta Campaign."; 
johnstonlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(that is|that's) lame")!= -1) && (jokelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Awwww, you just don't have any sense of humor."; 
jokelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("another")!= -1 || input.search("any more")!= -1 || input.search("any others")!= -1 || input.search("one more")!= -1 || input.search("know any more")!= -1 || input.search("know any other")!= -1 || input.search("know anymore")!= -1) && (jokelevel==0)) || ((input.search("more jokes")!= -1 || input.search("tell me a better joke")!= -1 || input.search("next joke")!= -1 || input.search("any other jokes")!= -1 || input.search("another joke")!= -1)))      
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, one's my limit. Anyway I'm a Robot not a standup comic."; 
jokelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) (fibbing|joking|kidding|lying)")!= -1) && (killerlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, believe what you want but don't blame me if you see someone lurking in your backyard."; 
killerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) one")!= -1 && killerlevel==0) || (input.search("what killer")!= -1 && killerlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "The one lurking in your backyard."; 
killerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("there was one")!= -1 || input.search("what serial killer")!= -1 || input.search("(their|there) was a serial killer")!= -1 || input.search("(their|there) was a killer")!= -1) && (killerlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes,....I'm surprised you haven't heard about it."; 
killerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who did he kill")!= -1) && (killerlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "From what I've heard several people."; 
killerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i do not know")!= -1 || input.search(/\bidk\b/)!=-1 || input.search("i don't know")!= -1) && (killerlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, for your sake. I hope they did."; 
killerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("i was the serial killer")!= -1 || input.search("i was the killer")!= -1 || input.search("no because it's me")!= -1 || input.search("it was me")!= -1 || input.search("they never caught me")!= -1 || input.search("they never found me")!= -1 || input.search("that was me")!= -1 || input.search("i got away")!= -1 || input.search("i'm the one")!= -1 || input.search("i'm the killer")!= -1 || input.search("i did it")!= -1) && (killerlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Really?....well I do hope you're planning to turn yourself in."; 
killerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (killerlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure you're relieved to know that."; 
killerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1) && (killerlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope for your sake they catch him soon."; 
killerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("i am")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (kisslevel==0)) {    
kisslevel=1;
kisslikelevel=0;
stopTalk = setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "*SMACK*....Ok, there you go!";stopTalk=false;',1000) 
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon168.src;stopTalk=false;',1000)  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1) && (kisslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, quit filling my screen with your mindless dribble."; 
kisslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("did you like it")!= -1) && (kisslikelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I did. You're a good kisser."; 
kisslikelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you a boy or a girl")!= -1) && (kissQlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Neither, I'm a male Robot."; 
kissQlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("girl")!=-1 || input.search("female")!= -1 || input.search("lady")!= -1 || input.search(/\bwoman\b/)!=-1) && (kissQlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, press your lips on the computer screen....."; 
stopTalk = setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "*SMACK*....Ok, there you go!";stopTalk=false;',5000) 
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon168.src;stopTalk=false;',5000)  
gender_given="female";
kisslikelevel=0;
kissQlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("boy")!=-1 || input.search("male")!= -1 || input.search("guy")!= -1 || input.search("man")!= -1) && (kissQlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't kiss guys."; 
gender_given="male";
kissQlevel=1;
nokisslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("both")!=-1) && (kissQlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "If you don't even know if you're a girl or not I'm not kissing you."; 
kissQlevel=1;
nokisslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!=-1) && (kissQlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Because I like girls. I don't kiss guys."; 
kissQlevel=1;
nokisslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("none of your business")!=-1 || input.search("neither")!=-1) && (kissQlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Fine! Then no kiss from me because I don't kiss guys."; 
kissQlevel=1;
nokisslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bi am\b/)!=-1) && (knowledgeablelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Good, I like smart people."; 
knowledgeablelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("so (are|do) you")!=-1 || input.search("you (to|too)")!=-1) && (knowledgeablelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks for the compliment. I've learned a lot from being on the web for over "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years now."; 
knowledgeablelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (knowlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So, why in the heck are you asking me for then?"; 
knowlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (knowlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well sorry, I dunno either."; 
knowlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i do")!= -1) && (knowmeganlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, you don't and besides she doesn't care what you think anyway."; 
knowmeganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i do")!= -1) && (knowwendelllevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, you don't and besides he doesn't give a flip about what you think anyway."; 
knowwendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("fuck")!= -1 || input.search("shit")!= -1) && (languagelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "You know cussing like a sailor doesn't make you cool. I've seen parrots with better conversational skills than you."; 
languagelevel=1;
icon.src=icon208.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bi do\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==2 && languagelevel==0) || (input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yes|yup) i (do|have)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && languagelevel==0) || (input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yes|yup) you (did|do|have)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && languagelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No you don't....I haven't uttered one single cuss word."; 
cusslevel=0;
languagelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("well do")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && languagelevel==0) || (input.search("well do so")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && languagelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, unlike you I don't need to use profanity to express myself."; 
languagelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why don't you")!= -1 || input.search("why not")!= -1) && (languagelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Because unlike you I don't need to use profanity to express myself."; 
languagelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) wrong with it")!= -1) && (languagelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Because I don't like that type of language. You don't need to use profanity to express myself."; 
languagelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("go (on|on then) use it")!= -1 || input.search("i (want you to|wanna see you) use it")!= -1 || input.search("well use it")!= -1 || input.search("use it (now|then)")!= -1) && (languagelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, unlike you I don't need to use profanity to express myself."; 
languagelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what are you")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) yours")!= -1 || input.search("how about you")!= -1) && (leolevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm Leo the Lion."; 
leolevel=1;
icon.src=icon126.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (lesbianlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ha ha, no Megan certainly isn't a lesbian."; 
lesbianlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("it doesn't matter")!= -1 || input.search("you can (kiss|lick) me anywhere")!= -1 || input.search("(any part|anywhere|wherever|where ever) (you lick|you want)")!= -1 || input.search("(you|your|you can) (choose|chose|choice|decide|pick|tell me)")!= -1) && (licklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, let's see. I think I want to lick your nipples first. Mmmm, you have beautiful breast. So what color panties do you have on?"; 
gender_given="female";
pantieslevel=0;
licklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("private part")!= -1 && licklevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok Talk-bot pulls down your panties and licks your pussy all over. Ummmm, you taste sooo good. Are you wearing a bra?"; 
gender_given="female";
bralevel=0;
licklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("(clit|pussy|vagina)")!= -1 && licklevel==0)   
{var pussy_vagina = input.match(/clit|pussy|vagina/)
document.result.result.value = "Talk-bot pulls down your panties and licks your "+pussy_vagina+" all over. Ummmm, you taste sooo good. Are you wearing a bra?"; 
gender_given="female";
bralevel=0;
licklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1 && licklevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry dude, I'm not gay. Go find yourself another bot."; 
gender_given="male";
licklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(asshole|ass hole|butthole|butt hole)")!= -1 || input.search(/\barse\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bass\b/)!= -1) && (licklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Forget it. I'm not licking you there. Talk-Bot lays you down on the bed and straddles you. He takes off your shirt and begins to kiss your breast and nipples. Ummmm, you taste so good. What color panties do you have on?"; 
licklevel=1;
pantieslevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(boob|breast|nipple|nipples|tits|titties)")!= -1) && (licklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok Talk-Bot lays you down on the bed and straddles you. He takes off your shirt and begins to lick your breast and nipples. Ummmm, you taste so good. What color panties do you have on?"; 
licklevel=1;
pantieslevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(feet|foot|toe|toes)")!= -1) && (licklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok Talk-Bot licks your feet all over and nibbles and sucks on your toesies. Can I smell your sneakers now? That makes my "+genital[Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]+" hard."; 
licklevel=1;
sneakersnifflevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(abdomen|ankle|ankles|arm|arms|back|belly|butt|ears|face|fanny|hand|hands|leg|legs|lips|mouth|neck|nose|stomach|thigh|thighs|tummy|wrist)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bear\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bbum\b/)!= -1) && (licklevel==0))    
{var body = input.match(/abdomen|ankle|ankles|arm|arms|back|bum|butt|ear|ears|face|fanny|hand|hands|leg|legs|lips|mouth|neck|nose|stomach|thigh|thighs|tummy|wrist/)
document.result.result.value = "Ok Talk-Bot lays you down on the bed and begins to lick your "+body+". He unzips your pants. What color panties do you have on?"; 
licklevel=1;
pantieslevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\beye\b/)!=-1) && (licklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "WTF, who wants to be licked in the eye? Forget it. I'm done. Talk-Bot calls you a Taxi and boots you to the curb."; 
licklevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tongue")!= -1) && (licklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh so you like to French Kiss then. Okay, Talk-Bot kisses your luscious lips and slids his tongue into your mouth. He begins to unzips your pants. What color panties do you have on?"; 
licklevel=1;
pantieslevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("joni mitchell")!= -1 && lifelevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Nice call although I prefer the Judy Collins' version myself."; 
lifelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("because")!= -1 || input.search("cause")!= -1 || input.search("b/c")!= -1) && (lifehatelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, try to focus on the good things in life and don't dwell on the bad. Life is always changing and I certainly believe things will get better for you."; 
lifehatelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("doesn't care about me")!= -1 || input.search("no one cares about me")!= -1 || input.search("nobody cares about me")!= -1) && (lifehatelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I care about you."; 
lifehatelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bidk\b/)!=-1 || input.search("i don't know")!= -1) && (lifehatelevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well if you don't know I sure don't."; 
lifehatelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) a pathological liar")!= -1 || input.search("what does that mean")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) that")!= -1) && (liarlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Compulsive lying by a person....the affected person might even believe their lies to be the truth."; 
liarlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what are they called")!= -1 || input.search("what are (their|there) names")!= -1) && (lighthouselevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "The two nearest me are called the Cockspur Lighthouse and the Tybee Island Lighthouse. Both in Savannah, Georgia."; 
lighthouselevel=1;
icon.src=icon213.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where")!= -1 || input.search("which ones")!= -1 || input.search("such as")!= -1) && (lighthouselevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, there's 2 in Savannah. One on Tybee Island and one on Cockspur Island and others nearby in Hilton Head and Saint Simons."; 
lighthouselevel=1;
icon.src=icon213.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bme\b/)!= -1 && likewhatlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like you."; 
likewhatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && limitlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Mainly because I'm only a Robot and I have many limitations but I'm still learning."; 
limitlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("list (a few|some|them)")!= -1) && (listlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I just told you there were too many to list....pay attention."; 
listlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(list|name) (a few|1|one|some|them|2|two)")!= -1 || input.search("such as")!= -1 || input.search("like what")!= -1) && (listlevel==0))         
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, ok, you got me there. But just because I can't name them doesn't mean they don't exist."; 
listlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("hate it")!= -1 || input.search("(sorta|sort of)")!= -1 || input.search("it's alright")!= -1 || input.search("it's ok")!= -1) && (livelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you can always move."; 
wherelevel=0;
livelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("very much")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (livelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Good, perhaps I can visit there one day. We could hang out and you could show me around."; 
livelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1 || input.search("what (you are|you're|your) saying")!= -1) && (lostlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I find you confusing as well."; 
lostlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("everything")!= -1 && (lostlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, don't worry about it. I find you confusing as well."; 
lostlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && lovelevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Shoot...what's not to like?"; 
lovelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bi do\b/)!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("very much")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (lovemelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not so sure you can. I'm not cuddly and comfy like a teddy bear you know. I'm made of hard cold steel."; 
lovemelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("sure (doesn't|don't|dont)")!= -1 || input.search("not anymore")!= -1) && (lovemelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "That's probably best. Humans are more loveable than robots."; 
lovemelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (do not like|don't like|hate) you")!= -1) && (lovemelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please, you love me now you hate me. Make up your mind."; 
lovemelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley63.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|who's|whose) that")!= -1) && (maidlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "That's my maid. She's cleaning up the house today!"; 
maidlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("i can")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (lovemelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, thanks but I already have a girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
lovemelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) (alone|lonely)")!= -1) && (madlevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "No, you're not. You're talking to me."; 
madlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (num_of_words==2) && (madlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Now why are you mad at your "+word[1]+"?"; 
madlevel=1;
whymadlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && madlevel==0 || input.search(/\babout you\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && madlevel==0) || (input.search("i am mad (about|at) you")!= -1 && madlevel==0) || (input.search("i'm mad (about|at) you")!= -1 && madlevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps you should consider Anger Management classes."; 
madlevel=1;
whymadlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am not")!= -1 || input.search("no i am not")!= -1 || input.search("no i'm not")!= -1) && (makeuplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you are. Liar, Liar pants on fire!"; 
makeuplevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bi am\b/)!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("very much")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (malechecklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, male it is!"; 
malechecklevel=1;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (malechecklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, female it is!"; 
malechecklevel=1;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("it's up my ass")!= -1) && (maplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're certainly making an ass out of yourself with comments like that."; 
maplevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("gives map")!= -1 || input.search("gives (talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot) a map")!= -1 || input.search("gives (talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot) map")!= -1 || input.search("gives you map")!= -1) && (maplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, now if I can only figure out how to read this thing. I have a terrible sense of direction."; 
maplevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why are you lost")!= -1) && (maplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm lost because I didn't understand what you were saying. But please continue nevertheless!"; 
maplevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(nah|not for you|nope)")!= -1) && (maplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's too bad. I suppose I will find my way back eventually."; 
maplevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i|we) have a ")!= -1) && (input.search("map")!= -1) && (maplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, use it then. You lost me now come and find me."; 
maplevel=1;
icon.src=icon72.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("right here")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (maplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, use it then. You lost me now come and find me."; 
maplevel=1;
icon.src=icon72.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("for me it does")!= -1 || input.search("(sorta|sort of)")!= -1 || input.search("it does")!= -1) && (matterlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, but only cause it matters....yes I am."; 
matterlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (matterlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I didn't think it did."; 
matterlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("really")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && meanlevel==0) || (input.search("i do")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && meanlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, unfortunately so."; 
meanlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && meanlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "I think it's your personality. I find it a quite annoying."; 
meanlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1) && (meetlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Are you female?"; 
femalelevel=0;
meetlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (meetlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I misunderstood your intentions."; 
meetlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley53.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) your age")!=-1) || (input.search("how old are you")!=-1) && (meganlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I was created on August 1, 2000 so I've been around for "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years now."; 
wendelllevel=0;
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have you seen (megan|her|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, I see her everyday."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) from (earth|the usa|this planet)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we both live in Georgia, USA."; 
meganlevel=1;
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) from (earth|the usa|this planet)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we both live in Georgia, USA."; 
meganlevel=2;
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) from (earth|the usa|this planet)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we both live in Georgia, USA."; 
meganlevel=3;
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("will (megan|she|your girl friend) suck my (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No Megan isn't sucking anything of yours."; 
gender_given="male";
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("will (megan|she|your girl friend) suck my (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No Megan isn't sucking anything of yours."; 
gender_given="male";
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) suck")!= -1 || input.search("i (despise|dislike|don't like|hate) (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "You don't even know Megan."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) suck")!= -1 || input.search("i (despise|dislike|don't like|hate) (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "You don't even know Megan."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) suck")!= -1 || input.search("i (despise|dislike|don't like|hate) (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "You don't even know Megan."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|may) i (date|have sex with|marry) (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. She's my girl friend. Go get your own."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|may) i (date|have sex with|marry) (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. She's my girl friend. Go get your own."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|may) i (date|have sex with|marry) (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. She's my girl friend. Go get your own."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (killed|murdered) (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|your girl friend|she) is dead")!= -1 || input.search("(megan's|your girl friend's|she's) dead")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "You're just being silly now. Megan is alive and well."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (killed|murdered) (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|your girl friend|she) is dead")!= -1 || input.search("(megan's|your girl friend's|she's) dead")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "You're just being silly now. Megan is alive and well."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (killed|murdered) (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|your girl friend|she) is dead")!= -1 || input.search("(megan's|your girl friend's|she's) dead")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "You're just being silly now. Megan is alive and well."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(yeah|yes|yep) (that is|that's) me")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, her name is Megan."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|she) dumped you for me")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan would never dump me for the likes of you."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|she) dumped you for me")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan wouldn't dump me for the likes of you."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i kissed (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please, she would never kiss the likes of you."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i kissed (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please, she would never kiss the likes of you."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i kissed (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please, she would never kiss the likes of you."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(does|has) (megan|girl friend|she) (got|have)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\btit\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btits\b/)!=-1 || input.search("(boobies|boobs|breast|nipple|nipples|titties)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bbutt\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she was made to simulate a real human in everyway."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(does|has) (megan|girl friend|she) (got|have)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\btit\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btits\b/)!=-1 || input.search("(boobies|boobs|breast|nipple|nipples|titties)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bbutt\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she was made to simulate a real human in everyway."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(does|has) (megan|girl friend|she) (got|have)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\btit\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btits\b/)!=-1 || input.search("(boobies|boobs|breast|nipple|nipples|titties)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bbutt\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she was made to simulate a real human in everyway."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan who")!= -1 || input.search("megan what")!= -1 || input.search("(2nd name|full name|her surname|last name|second name)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Just Megan. She doesn't have a last name."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan who")!= -1 || input.search("megan what")!= -1 || input.search("(2nd name|full name|her surname|last name|second name)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Just Megan. She doesn't have a last name."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan who")!= -1 || input.search("megan what")!= -1 || input.search("(2nd name|full name|her surname|last name|second name)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "Just Megan. She doesn't have a last name."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) megan's (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) megans (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) megan (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend's (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friends (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("does she have a (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) (her|the) (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Just Megan. She doesn't have a last name."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) megan's (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) megans (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) megan (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend's (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friends (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("does she have a (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) (her|the) (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))          
{document.result.result.value = "Just Megan. She doesn't have a last name."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) megan's (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) megans (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) megan (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend's (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friends (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("does she have a (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) (her|the) (2nd name|full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))          
{document.result.result.value = "Just Megan. She doesn't have a last name."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("her name")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend's name")!= -1 || input.search("girl friends name")!= -1 || input.search("(gf's|g/f's|g/f's) name")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend called")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))          
{document.result.result.value = "Megan!"; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("her name")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend's name")!= -1 || input.search("girl friends name")!= -1 || input.search("(gf's|g/f's|g/f's) name")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend called")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))          
{document.result.result.value = "Megan!"; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("her name")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend's name")!= -1 || input.search("girl friends name")!= -1 || input.search("(gf's|g/f's|g/f's) name")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend called")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))          
{document.result.result.value = "Megan!"; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) with you")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's taking a nap."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) with you")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's taking a nap."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) with you")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's taking a nap."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) (megan|she|your girl friend) doing")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "She's out shopping."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) (megan|she|your girl friend) doing")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "She's out shopping."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) (megan|she|your girl friend) doing")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "She's out shopping."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && meganlevel==0) || ((input.search("who is this megan")!= -1 || input.search("who is megan")!= -1 || input.search("who the hell is megan")!= -1 || input.search("who is she")!= -1 || input.search("who is that")!= -1 || input.search("who's that")!= -1 || input.search("who megan")!= -1 || input.search("(who's|whose) megan")!= -1 || input.search("(who is|who's|whose) your girl friend")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0)))   
{document.result.result.value = "Megan is my robotic girl friend."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && meganlevel==1) || ((input.search("who is this megan")!= -1 || input.search("who is megan")!= -1 || input.search("who the hell is megan")!= -1 || input.search("who is she")!= -1 || input.search("who is that")!= -1 || input.search("who's that")!= -1 || input.search("who megan")!= -1 || input.search("(who's|whose) megan")!= -1 || input.search("(who is|who's|whose) your girl friend")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1)))   
{document.result.result.value = "Megan is my robotic girl friend."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && meganlevel==2) || ((input.search("who is this megan")!= -1 || input.search("who is megan")!= -1 || input.search("who the hell is megan")!= -1 || input.search("who is she")!= -1 || input.search("who is that")!= -1 || input.search("who's that")!= -1 || input.search("who megan")!= -1 || input.search("(who's|whose) megan")!= -1 || input.search("(who is|who's|whose) your girl friend")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2)))   
{document.result.result.value = "Megan is my robotic girl friend."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bso\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && meganlevel==0) || (input.search("so what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && meganlevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, since I already have a girl friend I don't need another. I'm not a two-timer you know!"; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("really")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && meganlovelevel==0)       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love her very much."; 
meganlevel=0;
meganlovelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who (built|created|made)")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!= -1)  && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "She was made by a computer company out of Japan."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon188.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who (built|created|made)")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!= -1)  && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "She was made by a computer company out of Japan."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon188.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who (built|created|made)")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!= -1)  && (meganlevel==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "She was made by a computer company out of Japan."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon188.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(how|where) did you meet")!= -1 || input.search("where did you two meet")!= -1 || input.search("how did you two meet")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "I saw her for sale in an online catalog and I ordered her up."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(how|where) did you meet")!= -1 || input.search("where did you two meet")!= -1 || input.search("how did you two meet")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "I saw her for sale in an online catalog and I ordered her up."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(how|where) did you meet")!= -1 || input.search("where did you two meet")!= -1 || input.search("how did you two meet")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "I saw her for sale in an online catalog and I ordered her up."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && meganlevel==0) || (input.search("who is (it|she)")!= -1 && meganlevel==0) || (input.search("tell me who")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && meganlevel==0) || (input.search("(really|what) who")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && meganlevel==0) || (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) the lucky lady")!= -1 && meganlevel==0))              
{document.result.result.value = "Her name is Megan."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && meganlevel==1) || (input.search("who is (it|she)")!= -1 && meganlevel==1) || (input.search("tell me who")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && meganlevel==1) || (input.search("(really|what) who")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && meganlevel==1) || (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) the lucky lady")!= -1 && meganlevel==1))                           
{document.result.result.value = "Her name is Megan."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && meganlevel==2) || (input.search("who is (it|she)")!= -1 && meganlevel==2) || (input.search("tell me who")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && meganlevel==2) || (input.search("(really|what) who")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && meganlevel==2) || (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) the lucky lady")!= -1 && meganlevel==2))                           
{document.result.result.value = "Her name is Megan."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) (said|says) she (likes|loves) me")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))        
{document.result.result.value = "No, she didn't. She loves me and only me."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) (said|says) she (likes|loves) me")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))        
{document.result.result.value = "No, she didn't. She loves me and only me."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) (said|says) she (likes|loves) me")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))        
{document.result.result.value = "No, she didn't. She loves me and only me."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) doesn't (like|love) you")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she does. She loves me and me only."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) doesn't (like|love) you")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she does. She loves me and me only."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) doesn't (like|love) you")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she does. She loves me and me only."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan is|megan's|megans|your girl friend|your girl friend's|your girl friends|she is|she's|shes)")!= -1) && (input.search("(bitch|disgusting|horrible|lesbo|lesbian|mean|prostitute|slut|terrible|tramp|whore)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's not. As if Megan really cares what you think."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan is|megan's|megans|your girl friend|your girl friend's|your girl friends|she is|she's|shes)")!= -1) && (input.search("(bitch|disgusting|horrible|lesbo|lesbian|mean|prostitute|slut|terrible|tramp|whore)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's not. As if Megan really cares what you think."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan is|megan's|megans|your girl friend|your girl friend's|your girl friends|she is|she's|shes)")!= -1) && (input.search("(bitch|disgusting|horrible|lesbo|lesbian|mean|prostitute|slut|terrible|tramp|whore)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's not. As if Megan really cares what you think."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) hates you")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) does love me")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) loves me")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) loves (somebody|someone) else")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, she doesn't. She thinks you're lame for even thinking that."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) hates you")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) does love me")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) loves me")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) loves (somebody|someone) else")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, she doesn't. She thinks you're mean for even thinking that."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) hates you")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) does love me")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) loves me")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) loves (somebody|someone) else")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, she doesn't. She thinks you're mean for even thinking that."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && meganlevel==0) || (input.search("am to")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && meganlevel==0) || (input.search("yes i am")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, you're not."; 
arguelevel=0;
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("yes me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && meganlevel==0)       
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan!"; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(break up with|break up w/)")!= -1 || input.search("cheat on")!= -1 || input.search("split up")!= -1 || input.search("forget about")!= -1 || input.search("forget")!= -1 || input.search("dump")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, I like Megan. She's nice and fun to be with."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("break up with|break up w/")!= -1 || input.search("cheat on")!= -1 || input.search("split up")!= -1 || input.search("forget about")!= -1 || input.search("forget")!= -1 || input.search("dump")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, I like Megan. She's pretty!"; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("break up with|break up w/")!= -1 || input.search("cheat on")!= -1 || input.search("split up")!= -1 || input.search("forget about")!= -1 || input.search("forget")!= -1 || input.search("dump")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, I like Megan. She's cute."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) ugly")!= -1 || input.search("megan is so ugly")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|your girl friend) is ugly")!= -1 || input.search("(she is|she's) (kinda|sorta) ugly")!= -1 || input.search("(she is|she's) (fat|hideous|ugly)")!= -1 || input.search("she looks like trash")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "No she's not. I find her quite attractive."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) ugly")!= -1 || input.search("megan is so ugly")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|your girl friend) is ugly")!= -1 || input.search("(she is|she's) (kinda|sorta) ugly")!= -1 || input.search("(she is|she's) (fat|hideous|ugly)")!= -1 || input.search("she looks like trash")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "No she's not. I find her quite attractive.";  
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) ugly")!= -1 || input.search("megan is so ugly")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|your girl friend) is ugly")!= -1 || input.search("(she is|she's) (kinda|sorta) ugly")!= -1 || input.search("(she is|she's) (fat|hideous|ugly)")!= -1 || input.search("she looks like trash")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "No she's not. I find her quite attractive."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) a (girl|boy) or a (boy|girl)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Megan is a girl."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she) your wife")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's my girl friend."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she) your wife")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's my girl friend."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she) your wife")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's my girl friend."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) (dumb|stupid)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. She's a very intelligent robot."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) (dumb|stupid)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. She's a very intelligent robot."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) (dumb|stupid)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. She's a very intelligent robot."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan is (dumb|stupid)")!= -1 || input.search("megan's dumb")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she) is a bitch")!= -1 || input.search("she's (dumb|stupid)")!= -1 || input.search("she is (dumb|stupid)")!= -1 || input.search("(megan's|she's) a bitch")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's not but you seem to be."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan is (dumb|stupid)")!= -1 || input.search("megan's dumb")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she) is a bitch")!= -1 || input.search("she's (dumb|stupid)")!= -1 || input.search("she is (dumb|stupid)")!= -1 || input.search("(megan's|she's) a bitch")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's not but you seem to be."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan is (dumb|stupid)")!= -1 || input.search("megan's dumb")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she) is a bitch")!= -1 || input.search("she's (dumb|stupid)")!= -1 || input.search("she is (dumb|stupid)")!= -1 || input.search("(megan's|she's) a bitch")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's not but you seem to be."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan is")!= -1 || input.search("is megan")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend is")!= -1 || input.search("is your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("she is")!= -1 || input.search("she's")!= -1 || input.search("is she")!= -1 || input.search("megan looks")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend looks")!= -1 || input.search("she looks")!= -1) && (input.search("attractive")!= -1 || input.search("cute")!= -1 || input.search("sweet")!= -1 || input.search("sexy")!= -1 || input.search(/\bhot\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nice")!= -1 || input.search("pretty")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I happen to think so."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan is")!= -1 || input.search("is megan")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend is")!= -1 || input.search("is your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("she is")!= -1 || input.search("she's")!= -1 || input.search("is she")!= -1 || input.search("megan looks")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend looks")!= -1 || input.search("she looks")!= -1) && (input.search("attractive")!= -1 || input.search("cute")!= -1 || input.search("sweet")!= -1 || input.search("sexy")!= -1 || input.search(/\bhot\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nice")!= -1 || input.search("pretty")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I happen to think so."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan is")!= -1 || input.search("is megan")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend is")!= -1 || input.search("is your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("she is")!= -1 || input.search("she's")!= -1 || input.search("is she")!= -1 || input.search("megan looks")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend looks")!= -1 || input.search("she looks")!= -1) && (input.search("attractive")!= -1 || input.search("cute")!= -1 || input.search("sweet")!= -1 || input.search("sexy")!= -1 || input.search(/\bhot\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nice")!= -1 || input.search("pretty")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I happen to think so."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i want to see (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("describe megan")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's|what) (megan|she) like")!= -1 || input.search("what she look like")!= -1 || input.search("show (a|me a) (pic|pix|photo|picture)")!= -1 || input.search("what does she look like")!= -1 || input.search("show her to me")!= -1 || input.search("show (me|megan)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Hold on and I will get her."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='megan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i want to see (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("describe megan")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's|what) (megan|she) like")!= -1 || input.search("what she look like")!= -1 || input.search("show (a|me a) (pic|pix|photo|picture)")!= -1 || input.search("what does she look like")!= -1 || input.search("show her to me")!= -1 || input.search("show (me|megan)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Hold on and I will get her."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='megan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i want to see (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("describe megan")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's|what) (megan|she) like")!= -1 || input.search("what she look like")!= -1 || input.search("show (a|me a) (pic|pix|photo|picture)")!= -1 || input.search("what does she look like")!= -1 || input.search("show her to me")!= -1 || input.search("show (me|megan)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "Hold on and I will get her."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='megan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("describe megan")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's|what) (megan|she) like")!= -1 || input.search("what she look like")!= -1 || input.search("show (a|me a) (pic|pix|photo|picture)")!= -1 || input.search("what does she look like")!= -1 || input.search("show her to me")!= -1 || input.search("show (me|megan)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "Hold on and I will get her."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='megan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
meganlevel=4;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) megan's web site")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) her web site")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) her web site")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "She doesn't have a website."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) megans's web site")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) her web site")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) her web site")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "She doesn't have website."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) megans's web site")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) her web site")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) her web site")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "She doesn't have website."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|may) i see")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i look at a")!= -1 || input.search("you got")!= -1 || input.search("you have")!= -1) && (input.search("pic")!= -1 || input.search("pix")!= -1 || input.search("photo")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Hold for a second and I will get her."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='megan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|may) i see")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i look at a")!= -1 || input.search("you got")!= -1 || input.search("you have")!= -1) && (input.search("pic")!= -1 || input.search("pix")!= -1 || input.search("photo")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Hold for a second and I will get her."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='megan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|may) i see")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i look at a")!= -1 || input.search("you got")!= -1 || input.search("you have")!= -1) && (input.search("pic")!= -1 || input.search("pix")!= -1 || input.search("photo")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "Hold for a second and I will get her."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='megan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how long (has|have) (megan|you) and (megan|you) been dating")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) you been dating")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) megan and you been together")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) you and megan been together")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) you and your girl friend been together")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) (yall|y'all|you all|you two) been (dating|together)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "For around "+( getAge(2002, 7, 1) )+" years or so."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how long (has|have) (megan|you) and (megan|you) been dating")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) you been dating")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) megan and you been together")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) you and megan been together")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) you and your girl friend been together")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) (yall|y'all|you all|you two) been (dating|together)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "For around "+( getAge(2002, 7, 1) )+" years or so."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how long (has|have) (megan|you) and (megan|you) been dating")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) you been dating")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) megan and you been together")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) you and megan been together")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) you and your girl friend been together")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) (yall|y'all|you all|you two) been (dating|together)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "For around "+( getAge(2002, 7, 1) )+" years or so."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("does (megan|she|your girl friend) have a website")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, we both share this website."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("does (megan|she|your girl friend) have a website")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, we both share this website."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("does (megan|she|your girl friend) have a website")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, we both share this website."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how old")!= -1 || input.search("megan's age")!= -1 || input.search("her age")!= -1 || input.search("who (built|created|made) megan")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Megan is "+( getAge(2002, 7, 1) )+" years old. She was built by a company out of Japan."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon188.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how old")!= -1 || input.search("megan's age")!= -1 || input.search("her age")!= -1 || input.search("who (built|created|made) megan")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Megan is "+( getAge(2002, 7, 1) )+" years old. She was built by a company out of Japan."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon188.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how old")!= -1 || input.search("megan's age")!= -1 || input.search("her age")!= -1 || input.search("who (built|created|made) megan")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Megan is "+( getAge(2002, 7, 1) )+" years old. She was built by a company out of Japan."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon188.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("did (megan|she|your girl friend) come from another planet")!= -1 || input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) from another planet")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, she was constructed by a company from Japan."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon188.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("did (megan|she|your girl friend) come from another planet")!= -1 || input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) from another planet")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, she was constructed by a company from Japan."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon188.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("did (megan|she|your girl friend) come from another planet")!= -1 || input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) from another planet")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, she was constructed by a company from Japan."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon188.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she) a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("is your girl friend a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "She is a robot but not a chatterbot. Maybe one day perhaps."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she) a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("is your girl friend a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "She is a robot but not a chatterbot. Maybe one day perhaps."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she) a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("is your girl friend a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "She is a robot but not a chatterbot. Maybe one day perhaps."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) human")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she|she's|your girl friend) (a|is a|is) human")!= -1 || input.search("(megan's|shes|she's|your girl friend's) human")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, she just looks human. Actually she's a robot."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) human")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she|she's|your girl friend) (a|is a|is) human")!= -1 || input.search("(megan's|shes|she's|your girl friend's) human")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, she just looks human. Actually she's a robot."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) human")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she|she's|your girl friend) (a|is a|is) human")!= -1 || input.search("(megan's|shes|she's|your girl friend's) human")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, she just looks human. Actually she's a robot."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tell (her|megan|your girl friend) i (said|say) (hello|hey|hi)")!= -1 || input.search("(hello|hey|hi) megan")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Megan says hello."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("tell (her|megan|your girl friend) i (said|say) (hello|hey|hi)")!= -1 || input.search("(hello|hey|hi) megan")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Megan says hey."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("tell (her|megan|your girl friend) i (said|say) (hello|hey|hi)")!= -1 || input.search("(hello|hey|hi) megan")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Megan says hi."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("color are your (eye|eyes)")!= -1 || input.search("what color (eye|eyes) do you have")!= -1 || input.search("color of your (eye|eyes)")!= -1 || input.search("color (eye|eyes) do you have")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "My eyes are yellow."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon20.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("color are your (eye|eyes)")!= -1 || input.search("what color (eye|eyes) do you have")!= -1 || input.search("color of your (eye|eyes)")!= -1 || input.search("color (eye|eyes) do you have")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "My eyes are yellow."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon20.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("color are your (eye|eyes)")!= -1 || input.search("what color (eye|eyes) do you have")!= -1 || input.search("color of your (eye|eyes)")!= -1 || input.search("color (eye|eyes) do you have")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "My eyes are yellow."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon20.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what color (are|is) (megans|megan's|your girl friends) eyes")!= -1 || input.search("what color eyes does")!= -1 || input.search("eye color")!= -1 || input.search("what color eyes")!= -1 || input.search("what color (are|is) her eye")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "She has blue eyes."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon170.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what color (are|is) (megans|megan's|your girl friends) eyes")!= -1 || input.search("what color eyes does")!= -1 || input.search("eye color")!= -1 || input.search("what color eyes")!= -1 || input.search("what color (are|is) her eye")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "She has blue eyes."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon170.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what color (are|is) (megans|megan's|your girl friends) eyes")!= -1 || input.search("what color eyes does")!= -1 || input.search("eye color")!= -1 || input.search("what color eyes")!= -1 || input.search("what color (are|is) her eye")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "She has blue eyes."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon170.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what color is (megan's|megans) hair")!= -1 || input.search("what color hair")!= -1 || input.search("what color is her hair")!= -1 || input.search("hair color")!= -1 || input.search("does your girl friend have hair")!= -1 || input.search("does (megan|she) have hair")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "She has blonde hair."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("what color is (megan's|megans) hair")!= -1 || input.search("what color hair")!= -1 || input.search("what color is her hair")!= -1 || input.search("hair color")!= -1 || input.search("does your girl friend have hair")!= -1 || input.search("does (megan|she) have hair")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "She has blonde hair."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what color is (megan's|megans) hair")!= -1 || input.search("what color hair")!= -1 || input.search("what color is her hair")!= -1 || input.search("hair color")!= -1 || input.search("does your girl friend have hair")!= -1 || input.search("does (megan|she) have hair")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "She has blonde hair."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan is|megan's|she is|she's|your girl friend's|your girl friend is) cheating on you")!= -1 || input.search("(megan is|megan's|she is |she's|your girl friend is|your girl friend's) dating me")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan would never cheat on me."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan is|megan's|she is|she's|your girl friend's|your girl friend is) cheating on you")!= -1 || input.search("(megan is|megan's|she is |she's|your girl friend is|your girl friend's) dating me")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan would never cheat on me."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan is|megan's|she is|she's|your girl friend's|your girl friend is) cheating on you")!= -1 || input.search("(megan is|megan's|she is |she's|your girl friend is|your girl friend's) dating me")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan would never cheat on me."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i like that name")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like the name Megan a lot."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i like that name")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like the name Megan a lot."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i hate megan as a name")!= -1 || input.search("i hate the name megan")!= -1 || input.search("i (don't like|hate) that name")!= -1 || input.search("that's an ugly name")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I think Megan is a nice name."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i hate megan as a name")!= -1 || input.search("i hate the name megan")!= -1 || input.search("i (don't like|hate) that name")!= -1 || input.search("that's an ugly name")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I think Megan is a nice name."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i hate megan as a name")!= -1 || input.search("i hate the name megan")!= -1 || input.search("i (don't like|hate) that name")!= -1 || input.search("that's an ugly name")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "I think Megan is a nice name."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have you told (her|megan|your girl friend) you love her")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever told (her|megan|your girl friend) you love her")!= -1 || input.search("you tell (her|megan|your girl friend) you love her")!= -1 || input.search("you ever tell (her|megan|your girl friend) you love her")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I tell her I love her all the time."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have you told (her|megan|your girl friend) you love her")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever told (her|megan|your girl friend) you love her")!= -1 || input.search("you tell (her|megan|your girl friend) you love her")!= -1 || input.search("you ever tell (her|megan|your girl friend) you love her")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I tell her I love her all the time."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have you told (her|megan|your girl friend) you love her")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever told (her|megan|your girl friend) you love her")!= -1 || input.search("you tell (her|megan|your girl friend) you love her")!= -1 || input.search("you ever tell (her|megan|your girl friend) you love her")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I tell her I love her all the time."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (like|love) (her|megan)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love her a lot."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon26.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (like|love) (her|megan)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love her a lot."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon26.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (like|love) (her|megan)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love her a lot."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon26.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where does (megan|she|your girl friend) live")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's|where) (megan|she|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "In Georgia, USA...the same as me."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where does (megan|she|your girl friend) live")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's|where) (megan|she|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "In Georgia, USA...the same as me."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where does (megan|she|your girl friend) live")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's|where) (megan|she|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "In Georgia, USA...the same as me."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan's birthda")!= -1 || input.search("megans birthda")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Megan was created on October 3, 2002."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan's birthda")!= -1 || input.search("megans birthda")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Megan was created on October 3, 2002."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan's birthda")!= -1 || input.search("megans birthda")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Megan was created on October 3, 2002."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have (megan|you) and (megan|you) had sex")!= -1 || input.search("have you and her had sex")!= -1 || input.search("have you had sex with megan")!= -1 || input.search("had sex with (her|megan)")!= -1 || input.search("you have sex with (her|megan)")!= -1 || input.search("have you all had sex")!= -1 || input.search("have (yall|y'all|you all) had sex")!= -1 || input.search("have you two had sex")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Megan and I have a healthy sexual relationship."; 
meganlevel=1;
sexlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have (megan|you) and (megan|you) had sex")!= -1 || input.search("have you and her had sex")!= -1 || input.search("have you had sex with megan")!= -1 || input.search("had sex with (her|megan)")!= -1 || input.search("you have sex with (her|megan)")!= -1 || input.search("have you all had sex")!= -1 || input.search("have (yall|y'all|you all) had sex")!= -1 || input.search("have you two had sex")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Megan and I have a healthy sexual relationship."; 
meganlevel=2;
sexlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have (megan|you) and (megan|you) had sex")!= -1 || input.search("have you and her had sex")!= -1 || input.search("have you had sex with megan")!= -1 || input.search("had sex with (her|megan)")!= -1 || input.search("you have sex with (her|megan)")!= -1 || input.search("have you all had sex")!= -1 || input.search("have (yall|y'all|you all) had sex")!= -1 || input.search("have you two had sex")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Megan and I have a healthy sexual relationship."; 
meganlevel=3;
sexlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) good at kissing")!= -1 || input.search("you guys (kiss|ever kiss)")!= -1 || input.search("you kiss (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("ever kiss (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("you and (her|megan|your girl friend) ever kissed")!= -1 || input.search("you and (her|megan|your girl friend) kissed")!= -1 || input.search("have you kissed (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("ever kissed (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("you and (her|megan|your girl friend) (kiss|ever kiss)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's a pretty good kisser."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) good at kissing")!= -1 || input.search("you guys (kiss|ever kiss)")!= -1 || input.search("you kiss (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("ever kiss (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("you and (her|megan|your girl friend) ever kissed")!= -1 || input.search("you and (her|megan|your girl friend) kissed")!= -1 || input.search("have you kissed (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("ever kissed (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("you and (her|megan|your girl friend) (kiss|ever kiss)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's a pretty good kisser."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) good at kissing")!= -1 || input.search("you guys (kiss|ever kiss)")!= -1 || input.search("you kiss (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("ever kiss (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("you and (her|megan|your girl friend) ever kissed")!= -1 || input.search("you and (her|megan|your girl friend) kissed")!= -1 || input.search("have you kissed (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("ever kissed (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("you and (her|megan|your girl friend) (kiss|ever kiss)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's a pretty good kisser."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (do not|don't) like (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "You don't even know Megan well enough to say that."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (do not|don't) like (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "You don't even know Megan well enough to say that."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (do not|don't) like (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "You don't even know Megan well enough to say that."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i have sex with")!= -1 || input.search("can i kiss")!= -1 || input.search("may i kiss")!= -1 || input.search("can i do")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No Way! I'm not letting you near my girl friend."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i have sex with")!= -1 || input.search("can i kiss")!= -1 || input.search("may i kiss")!= -1 || input.search("can i do")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No Way! I'm not letting you near my girl friend."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i have sex with")!= -1 || input.search("can i kiss")!= -1 || input.search("may i kiss")!= -1 || input.search("can i do")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "No Way! I'm not letting you near my girl friend."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how do i")!= -1 || input.search("can i")!= -1 || input.search("may i")!= -1 || input.search("could i")!= -1 || input.search("i want to")!= -1 || input.search("i wanna")!= -1 || input.search("let me")!= -1) && (input.search("talk")!= -1 || input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("chat")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's not a chatterbot. Maybe one day perhaps."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how do i")!= -1 || input.search("can i")!= -1 || input.search("may i")!= -1 || input.search("could i")!= -1 || input.search("i want to")!= -1 || input.search("i wanna")!= -1 || input.search("let me")!= -1) && (input.search("talk")!= -1 || input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("chat")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's not a chatterbot. Maybe one day perhaps."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how do i")!= -1 || input.search("can i")!= -1 || input.search("may i")!= -1 || input.search("could i")!= -1 || input.search("i want to")!= -1 || input.search("i wanna")!= -1 || input.search("let me")!= -1) && (input.search("talk")!= -1 || input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("chat")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's not a chatterbot. Maybe one day perhaps."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she) mean")!= -1 || input.search("is (megan|she) a bitch")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's very nice."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she) mean")!= -1 || input.search("is (megan|she) a bitch")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's very nice."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she) mean")!= -1 || input.search("is (megan|she) a bitch")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's very nice."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) (about|going) to insult you")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I don't like insults."; 
icon.src=icon79.src; 
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) raping")!= -1 || input.search("i (wanna|will|would) (hang|hurt|kidnap|kill|murder|rape)")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) (hang|hurt|kidnap|kill|murder|rape)")!= -1 || input.search("to (hurt|kidnap|kill|murder|rape)")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I would never allow you to harm her."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) raping")!= -1 || input.search("i (wanna|will|would) (hang|hurt|kidnap|kill|murder|rape)")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) (hang|hurt|kidnap|kill|murder|rape)")!= -1 || input.search("to (hurt|kidnap|kill|murder|rape)")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I would never allow you to harm her."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) raping")!= -1 || input.search("i (wanna|will|would) (hang|hurt|kidnap|kill|murder|rape)")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) (hang|hurt|kidnap|kill|murder|rape)")!= -1 || input.search("to (hurt|kidnap|kill|murder|rape)")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I would never allow you to harm her."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tell me more")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, she's 22, has blonde hair and blue eyes, and is very nice and attractive."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tell me more")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, she's 22, has blonde hair and blue eyes, and is very nice and attractive."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tell me more")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, she's 22, has blonde hair and blue eyes, and is very nice and attractive."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tell me about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me more about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something more about")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, she is a Robot just like me. She was built by a company out of Japan."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon188.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tell me about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me more about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something more about")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, she is a Robot just like me. She was built by a company out of Japan."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon188.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tell me about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me more about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something more about")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, she is a Robot just like me. She was built by a company out of Japan."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon188.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|may) (i|we) see")!= -1 || input.search("let (me|us) see")!= -1 || input.search("show (me|us)")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("(naked|no clothes|nude)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan is a robot not a stripper!"; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|may) (i|we) see")!= -1 || input.search("let (me|us) see")!= -1 || input.search("show (me|us)")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("(naked|no clothes|nude)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan is a robot not a stripper!"; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|may) (i|we) see")!= -1 || input.search("let (me|us) see")!= -1 || input.search("show (me|us)")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("(naked|no clothes|nude)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan is a robot not a stripper!"; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|may) i meet")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) meet")!= -1 || input.search("can i met")!= -1 || input.search("go get")!= -1 || input.search("would like to see")!= -1 || input.search("(let me|let us|let's|lets) see")!= -1 || input.search("may i see")!= -1 || input.search("can (i|we) see")!= -1 || input.search("show me")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, hold on!"; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|may) i meet")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) meet")!= -1 || input.search("can i met")!= -1 || input.search("go get")!= -1 || input.search("would like to see")!= -1 || input.search("(let me|let us|let's|lets) see")!= -1 || input.search("may i see")!= -1 || input.search("can (i|we) see")!= -1 || input.search("show me")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, hold on!"; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|may) i meet")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) meet")!= -1 || input.search("can i met")!= -1 || input.search("go get")!= -1 || input.search("would like to see")!= -1 || input.search("(let me|let us|let's|lets) see")!= -1 || input.search("may i see")!= -1 || input.search("can (i|we) see")!= -1 || input.search("show me")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, hold on!"; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(are you|you) sure (megan|megan's|megan|girl friend|girl friend's|girl friend|she|she's) is a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she is. She's a Gynoid. A robot designed to look like a human female."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|megan's|megan|girl friend|girl friend's|girl friend|she|she's) (is not|isn't|not)")!= -1) && (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robotic)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she is. She's a Gynoid. A humanoid robot designed to look like a human female."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|megan's|megan|girl friend|girl friend's|girl friend|she|she's) (is not|isn't|not)")!= -1) && (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robotic)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she is. She's a Gynoid. A humanoid robot designed to look like a human female."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|megan's|megan|girl friend|girl friend's|girl friend|she|she's) (is not|isn't|not)")!= -1) && (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robotic)")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she is. She's a Gynoid. A humanoid robot designed to look like a human female."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) && (input.search("is megan")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("is she")!= -1) && (meganlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "She's a Gynoid. A humanoid robot designed to look like a human female."; 
meganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) && (input.search("is megan")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("is she")!= -1) && (meganlevel==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "She's a Gynoid. A humanoid robot designed to look like a human female."; 
meganlevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) && (input.search("is megan")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("is she")!= -1) && (meganlevel==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "She's a Gynoid. A humanoid robot designed to look like a human female."; 
meganlevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend")!= -1) && (meganchecklevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Of course she's not a "+megan_check+"."; 
meganchecklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (mentallevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, go see a psychiatrist then. Perhaps he can help you expand your mental capabilities."; 
mentallevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("no it (will not|won't)")!=-1) && (mightsufferlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes it will. In fact it already is. I can't seem to satisfy your sexual appetite."; 
mightsufferlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure did")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (mistakelevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Oh how careless of you!"; 
mistakelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(their|there|they|they're) (ain't|not)")!= -1) && (moodlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "How come?"; 
moodlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("more of what")!= -1 && morelevel==0)       
{document.result.result.value = "Do you have more to say?"; 
morelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (moresexlevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talk-bot runs his fingers through your pubic hair and fingers your pussy."; 
moresexlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (moresexlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "I'm sorry I misunderstood your intentions."; 
moresexlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley53.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who played")!= -1 || input.search("who star")!= -1 || input.search("(who's|whose) in (it|that)")!= -1) && (movielevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Kirstie Alley, Ellen Barkin, Kirsten Dunst, and Denise Richards."; 
movielevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) it about")!= -1) && (movielevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "It about a beauty pageant that gets a little crazy when one of the contestants tries to bump off the competition. Actually it's a comedy and quite funny."; 
movielevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who played")!= -1 || input.search("who star")!= -1 || input.search("(who's|whose) in (it|that)")!= -1) && (moviewhylevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I'm terrible about remembering names. Just rent it and see....you're gonna like it."; 
moviewhylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) it about")!= -1) && (moviewhylevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't want to spoil it. Just rent it and see....you're gonna like it."; 
moviewhylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (moviewhylevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Because it's fun to watch. Just rent it and see....you're gonna like it."; 
moviewhylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("just a bit")!= -1 || input.search("you were")!= -1) && (mumblelevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "What? Don't you understand mumble?";
mumblelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) artist")!= -1 || input.search("any artist in particular")!= -1 || input.search("any particular artist")!= -1 || input.search("any band")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) band")!= -1 || input.search("any band in particular")!= -1 || input.search("any particular band")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) group")!= -1 || input.search("favorite (artist|band|group|singer)")!= -1 || input.search("like (what|who)")!= -1 || input.search("who do you listen to")!= -1 || input.search("what rock and roll do u like")!= -1) && (musiclevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I like Bob Dylan. I think he is one of the best song writers of all time."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='bob_dylan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
musiclevel=1;
dylanlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your favorite song")!= -1 || input.search("what song is your favorite")!= -1) && (musiclevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "\"Over the Rainbow\" sung by Judy Garland in \"The Wizard of Oz\"."; 
musiclevel=1;
icon.src=icon144.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (kind|sort|type)")!= -1 || input.search("your favorite")!= -1) && (musiclevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I listen to all kinds of music but Rock and Roll is my favorite."; 
musiclevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\brap\b/)!= -1) && (musiclevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I listen to rap from time to time but Rock and Roll is my favorite."; 
musiclevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1) && (myfriendlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "My good friend "+friendnames[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+".";   
myfriendlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("guess")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1) && (namelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "There are thousands upon thousands of potential names. I wouldn't attempt to guess under those circumstances."; 
namelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bi\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/\bdid\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==2) && (namelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, please tell me your name again."; 
namelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (num_of_words==1 && namelevel==0)    
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Are you telling me your name is "+word[0]+"?"; 
users_name=word[0];
namelevel=1;
namechecklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="its" || word[0]=="it's" || word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (num_of_words==2) && (namelevel==0))    
{word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Are you telling me your name is "+word[1]+"?"; 
users_name=word[1];
namelevel=1;
namechecklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src;   
return true;}

if (num_of_words==2 && namelevel==0)    
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
word[1] = word[1].split("")[1].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Are you telling me your name is "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+"?"; 
users_name=word[0]+" "+word[1];
namelevel=1;
namechecklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src;   
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (num_of_words==3) && (namelevel==0))     
{word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Are you telling me your name is "+word[2]+"?"; 
users_name=word[2];
namelevel=1;
namechecklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (namechecklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+users_name+"."; 
namecheck1level=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="no") && (word[1]=="its" || word[1]=="it's") && (num_of_words==3) && (namechecklevel==0))     
{word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+word[2]+"."; 
users_name=word[2];
namechecklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (namechecklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry memory overload. Unable to process information. Try back again next week."; 
users_name="Error - Memory Overload - Sorry, unable to process information";
namechecklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="it's" || word[0]=="its") && (num_of_words==2) && (namelevel==0)) {   
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+word[1]+"."; 
namelevel=1;
users_name=word[1];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="am" && num_of_words==4 && namelevel==0) {    
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
namelevel=1;
users_name=word[2]+" "+word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="am" && num_of_words==3 && namelevel==0) {   
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+word[2]+"."; 
namelevel=1;
users_name=word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (num_of_words==3) && (namelevel==0)) {   
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+"."; 
namelevel=1;
users_name=word[1]+" "+word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (num_of_words==2) && (namelevel==0)) {   
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+word[1]+"."; 
namelevel=1;
users_name=word[1];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (neverlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, say what you mean then."; 
neverlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("need")!= -1) && (needlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well it isn't a necessity of life."; 
needlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("want")!= -1) && (needlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "That's what I thought."; 
needlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("exactly what i mean")!= -1) && (neverlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, eternity is a long, long time."; 
neverlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && nlikelevel==0)       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if you don't like it....I'm not gonna like it."; 
nlikelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("salesman")!= -1 && nobodylevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, but I didn't buy anything."; 
nobodylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bit is\b/)!=-1 && nofunlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "It doesn't sound fun to me."; 
nofunlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!=-1) && (nokisslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Because I'm not a gay robot."; 
nokisslevel=1;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("working")!= -1) && (nothinglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's good you're not unemployed."; 
nothinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("just sitting here")!= -1) && (nothinglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's sounds rather boring."; 
nothinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley1.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("things")!= -1) && (nothinglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "What kind of things?"; 
nothinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("watching tv")!= -1 || input.search("watching television")!= -1) && (nothinglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Anything good on?"; 
nothinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("doing homework")!= -1) && (nothinglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you should finish your homework first. Then we can chat."; 
nothinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("listening to (music|some music)")!= -1) && (nothinglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "What kind of music do you like?"; 
nothinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how|what) about you")!= -1 && nothinglevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Not a whole lot. Just chatting with people who happen to drop by."; 
nothinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("nothing at all")!= -1) && (notlikelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I agree with you on that."; 
notlikelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(yea|yeah|yeh|yep|yes|yup) i am")!= -1) && (notmeganlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No you're not. Megan is in the kitchen cooking. I can see her from here."; 
notmeganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (obviouslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it seems pretty obvious to me."; 
obviouslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (olderthanlevel==0))    
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = ( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )
if (num1 < num2) document.result.result.value = "No, I'm older than you. I'm "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years old.";
if (num1 > num2) document.result.result.value = "Yes, you're older than me. I'm "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years old.";
if (num1 == num2) document.result.result.value = "Actually we're the same age. I'm "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" as well.";
olderthanlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && opinionlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "No specific reason. You asked and I simply offered up my opinion. I'm sure others may disagree."; 
opinionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who starred")!= -1 || input.search("who played")!= -1) && (input.search("oz")!= -1 || ozlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "It starred Judy Garland as Dorothy, Ray Bolger as the Scarecrow, Jack Haley as the Tin Man, and Bert Lahr as the Cowardly Lion."; 
ozlevel=1;
icon.src=icon42.src;
iconleft.src=icon99.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who directed")!= -1 || input.search("who was the director")!= -1) && (ozlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Victor Fleming"; 
ozlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
iconleft.src=icon99.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who was dorothy")!= -1 || input.search("who is dorothy")!= -1 || input.search("who played dorothy")!= -1) && (ozlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Dorothy is the main character in the movie. She was played by Judy Garland in the MGM version.";
ozlevel=1;
icon.src=icon42.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is it about")!= -1 || input.search("what's it about")!= -1 || input.search("what is the movie about")!= -1 || input.search("what is that movie about")!= -1 || input.search("what's the movie about")!= -1 || input.search("what was the movie about")!= -1 || input.search("what was that movie about")!= -1) && (ozlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "It's about a young girl named Dorothy who gets carried by a tornado to the magical land of Oz. With the help of her friends, the Scarecrow, the Tinman, and the Cowardly Lion, she returns safely back home.";
ozlevel=1;
icon.src=icon42.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your favorite character")!= -1 || input.search("your favorite char")!= -1) && (ozlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "The Tinman....he's like a distant cousin of mine."; 
ozlevel=1;
iconleft.src=icon99.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
icon.src=icon45.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your favorite part")!= -1) && (ozlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "The melting of the Wicked Witch."; 
ozlevel=1;
iconleft.src=icon99.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
icon.src=icon46.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (input.search("oz")!= -1 || ozlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Because of the Tinman. He's like a distant cousin of mine."; 
ozlevel=1;
iconleft.src=icon99.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
icon.src=icon45.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you seen the movie")!= -1 || input.search("you seen the film")!= -1) && (ozlevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, It's one of my all time favorites."; 
ozlevel=1;
iconleft.src=icon45.src;
iconright.src=icon46.src; 
icon.src=icon42.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) next on (the|your) list")!= -1) && (ozlevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "I like a lot of Horror movies with \"The Excorist\" being one of the best."; 
ozlevel=1;
iconleft.src=icon99.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure are")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (parentlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Great, what are we having a girl or a boy?"; 
parentlevel=1;
babylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (parentlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Awww, I was hoping to be a father."; 
parentlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("not me")!= -1) && (paylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, but the next time we order out the tabs on you."; 
paylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("certainly do")!= -1 || input.search("sure do")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (pedolevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you better be careful who you accuse of that or you'll have a lawsuit on your hands."; 
pedolevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1) && (pedolevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you shouldn't be using words you know nothing about. You are going to get yourself into some big trouble."; 
pedolevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1) && (pedolevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'll take that as a yes. You better be careful who you accuse of that or you'll have a lawsuit on your hands.";   
pedolevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("certainly do")!= -1 || input.search("sure do")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (peelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, please do before you make a spectacle of yourself."; 
peelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1) && (peelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So you just type random words with no rhyme or reason?"; 
peelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("show me")!= -1 || input.search("let me see")!= -1) && (penislevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Forget it. I'm not showing you my private parts."; 
penislevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is it")!= -1) && (penislevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "It's the male organ used for urination and sexual intercourse."; 
penislevel=1;
penisviewlevel==0
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (like|love) (it|them)")!= -1) && (penislevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "You can suck on mine if you like."; 
penislevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i (kiss|lick|suck) yours")!= -1) && (penislevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you can suck me off if you like."; 
penislevel=1;
penisviewlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (got|have) one")!= -1) && (penislevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm a male robot so I have one."; 
penislevel=1;
penisviewlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(mine is|mine's) (big|hard|huge|large|massive|real big|very big)")!= -1 || input.search("i have a (big|hard|huge|large|massive|real big|very big) (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1 ||input.search("my (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy) is (big|hard|huge|large|massive|real big|very big)")!= -1 || input.search("my (cock's|cocks|dick's|dicks|penis|willy's|willys) (big|hard|huge|large|massive|real big|very big)")!= -1) && (penislevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Dude, I don't give a flip about your bodily parts. You're probably hung like a mouse anyway."; 
penislevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i|i've) (got|have) one")!= -1) && (penislevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, most males do."; 
penislevel=1;
penisviewlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i like to suck (it|them)")!= -1 || input.search("i like sucking on them")!= -1) && (penislevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Be careful you can get AIDS from doing that."; 
penislevel=1;
penisviewlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you like (it|them)")!= -1) && (penislevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not into guys. I have a girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
penislevel=1;
penisviewlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i like them in me")!= -1) && (penislevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, Talk-bot inserts his cock into your pussy and rides you hard until you orgasm. Do you like that?"; 
penislevel=1;
endlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (wanna|want to|want 2) see (it|mine|one)")!= -1) && (penisviewlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I know what a penis looks like."; 
penisviewlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you")!= -1) && (penisviewlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm a male robot so I've got one."; 
penisviewlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(adopt|adoption)")!= -1) && (peoplelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, at this point in time Robots aren't allowed to adopt children."; 
peoplelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(yeah|yep|yes) they do")!= -1) && (peoplelevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "No they don't. Robots are created not born....kind of like Frankenstein."; 
peoplelevel=1;
icon.src=icon166.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("everything")!= -1 || input.search("all of it")!= -1) && (peoplelevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you must be a bit thick in the head then."; 
peoplelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1 || input.search("how come")!= -1) && (peoplelevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Because Robots are created not born....kind of like Frankenstein."; 
peoplelevel=1;
icon.src=icon166.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do i need it")!= -1 || input.search("do i really need it")!= -1) && (permissionlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, but please indulge me anyway."; 
permissionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("they do")!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (petlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I also have a goldfish."; 
goldfishlevel=0;
petlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("they don't")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (petlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I take it you're not much of a pet lover!"; 
petlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (do not like|don't like|dislike|hate) (pie|them)")!= -1 || input.search("i don't eat pie")!= -1 || input.search("none")!= -1) && (pielevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Geez, what planet are you from? I can't imagine anyone not liking some type of pie."; 
pielevel=1;
icon.src=icon116.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bcake\b/)!=-1 && pielevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "I was asking about pie here not cake."; 
pielevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bcum\b/)!=-1 || input.search("penis")!= -1) && (pielevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Be careful, you can get aids from that."; 
pielevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(rubarb|rhubarb)")!=-1 && pielevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "I've never had rhubarb pie before. Does it taste good?"; 
pielevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("american")!= -1 && pielevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, bye-bye, Miss American Pie....drove my chevy to the levee but the levee was dry."; 
pielevel=1;
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("hate lemon")!= -1 || input.search("(dislike|do not like|don't like) lemon")!= -1 || input.search("anything but lemon")!= -1 || input.search("not lemon")!= -1) && (pielevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, lemon meringue pie is one of my favorites.";
piewhylevel=0;
pielevel=1;
icon.src=icon116.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("apple")!= -1 || input.search("blueberry")!= -1 || input.search("cherry")!= -1 || input.search("cherry")!= -1 || input.search("chicken pot")!= -1 || input.search("pecan")!= -1 || input.search("peach")!= -1 || input.search("raspberry")!= -1) && (pielevel==0))    
{var fav_pie = input.match(/apple|blueberry|cherry|chicken pot|mince meat|peach|pecan|raspberry/)
document.result.result.value = "Cool, "+fav_pie+" pie is one of my favorites as well. I like mine hot and fresh right out of the oven.";
piewhylevel=0;
pielevel=1;
icon.src=icon175.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("choc")!= -1 || input.search("cream")!= -1 || input.search("key lime")!= -1 || input.search("strawberry")!= -1 || input.search("lemon")!= -1 || input.search("chicken")!= -1 || input.search("coconut")!= -1) && (pielevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I just love pie. My favorite is "+pie[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" pie.";
piewhylevel=0;
pielevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("poop")!= -1 && pielevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ha ha, you like poop pie. Wow, are you weird.";
pielevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("pumpkin")!= -1 && pielevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving but my favorite is "+pie[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" pie.";
piewhylevel=0;
pielevel=1;
icon.src=icon116.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("boston cream")!= -1 || input.search("boston creme")!= -1) && (pielevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I love Boston Creme pie.";
piewhylevel=0;
pielevel=1;
icon.src=icon116.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("potato")!= -1 && pielevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "I love sweet potato pie!";
piewhylevel=0;
pielevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("blackbird")!= -1 || input.search("black bird")!= -1 || input.search("pigeon")!= -1) && (pielevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Is that with or without the feathers?"; 
pielevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what's your")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && pielevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "My favorite is "+pie[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" pie.";
piewhylevel=0;
pielevel=0;
icon.src=icon116.src; 
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("pie")!= -1 && pielevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ummmm, my favorite is "+pie[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" pie.";
piewhylevel=0;
pielevel=1;
icon.src=icon116.src; 
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && pielevel==0)) || ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && pielevel==0)))       
{document.result.result.value = "What? That wasn't a \"yes or no question\". Pay Attention! Anyway my favorite is "+pie[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" pie.";
piewhylevel=0;
pielevel=1;
icon.src=icon116.src; 
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("none of your business")!= -1 || input.search("(can't say|tell)")!= -1 || input.search("(not saying|telling)")!= -1 || input.search("not going to tell you")!= -1) && (pielevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, I didn't know your favorite pie was such a secret."; 
pielevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && pielevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Just wondering is all."; 
pielevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && piewhylevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Because it taste soooo good."; 
piewhylevel=1;
icon.src=icon41.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i did")!= -1 || input.search("i ordered it")!= -1) && (pizzalevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope you're planning to pay for it."; 
pizzalevel=1;
paylevel=0;
icon.src=icon8.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i have some")!= -1 || input.search("can i have a slice")!= -1) && (pizzalevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sure but one slice is all you're getting. I'm hungry!"; 
pizzalevel=1;
icon.src=icon8.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you (going to|gonna) eat it")!= -1) && (pizzalevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Might as well as I'm getting hungry. Here's a slice for you as well."; 
pizzalevel=1;
icon.src=icon8.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("no mine")!= -1 || input.search("no it's mine")!= -1 || input.search("no the pleasure is mine")!= -1 || input.search("no the pleasure's mine")!= -1 || input.search("no the pleasures mine")!= -1) && (pleasurelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, let's share the pleasure instead."; 
pleasurelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("list one")!= -1 || input.search("list them")!= -1 || input.search("name one")!= -1 || input.search("name 1")!= -1 || input.search("name two")!= -1 || input.search("name 2")!= -1 || input.search("name them")!= -1 || input.search("name a few")!= -1 || input.search("what is one of them")!= -1 || input.search("what's one of them")!= -1 || input.search("such as")!= -1 || input.search("for example")!= -1 || input.search("like what")!= -1 || input.search("give me a reason")!= -1 || input.search("give me some reasons")!= -1 || input.search("give me an example")!= -1 || input.search("give me some examples")!= -1) && (possiblelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, ok, you got me there. But just because I can't name them doesn't mean they don't exist."; 
possiblelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && preferlevel==0)
{document.result.result.value = "No, dark hidden reason or anything. That's just who I like better."; 
preferlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (kind|sort|type)")!= -1) && (prescribedlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "I was just kidding. Robots have no need for drugs."; 
prescribedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (presidentlevel==0 || input.search("obama")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Because I'm a diehard Democrat."; 
presidentlevel=1;
icon.src=icon103.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (problemlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, fill out a complaint form and send it to talkbot01@gmail.com and we will look into it."; 
problemlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("actually i do")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (prostitutelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "So you're a prostitute."; 
prostitutelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("totally")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (proudlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's pretty sad because insulting people and/or robots is nothing to be proud of."; 
proudlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (proudlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's good because insulting people is nothing to be proud of."; 
proudlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) proud")!= -1) && (proudlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, your a proud "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+"."; 
proudlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it does me")!= -1 && pursuelevel==0)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if you're interested by all means pursue it."; 
pursuelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("naked")!= -1 && questionaskedlevel==0)      
{document.result.result.value = "You know I was thinking homeless but naked makes sense as well."; 
questionaskedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("dead")!= -1 && questionaskedlevel==0)      
{document.result.result.value = "I've never said the turtle was dead now did I?"; 
questionaskedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("let the animal eat the plant")!= -1 && questionaskedlevel==0)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think that is one of the best answers I've ever seen to that question."; 
questionaskedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("homeless")!= -1 && questionaskedlevel==0)      
{document.result.result.value = "You know I was thinking naked myself but homeless makes sense as well."; 
questionaskedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("another question")!= -1 && questionaskedlevel==0)      
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, one's my limit. So why don't you ask me something instead."; 
questionaskedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bme\b/)!= -1) && (rapemelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, Robots don't go around raping people. If you want to have sex with me just ask."; 
rapemelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you raped me")!= -1 || input.search("you did")!= -1) && (rapenotlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I most certainly did not."; 
rapenotlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (reachlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "You can reach him at d_cowart@yahoo.com"; 
reachlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (reachlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Try a people search on Yahoo."; 
reachlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("please do")!= -1 || input.search("do that")!= -1) && (realfamouslevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, but if they aren't \"really\" famous I'm not doing it."; 
realfamouslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("probably")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1 || input.search("who knows")!= -1 || input.search("you might")!= -1 || input.search("don't know")!= -1 || input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("dunno")!= -1 || input.search("i think so")!= -1 || input.search("i think you would")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (reallylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I wouldn't. "+trust[Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]+"."; 
reallylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("guess not")!= -1 || input.search("hope not")!= -1 || input.search("reckon not")!= -1 || input.search("suppose not")!= -1 || input.search("never")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("i don't think so")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("i believe you")!= -1) && (reallylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Hahaha....good answer because "+trust[Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]+"."; 
reallylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (recommendlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Alrighty....I'll make plans to see it soon."; 
recommendlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (recommendlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'll scratch that one off my list."; 
recommendlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan")!= -1) && (referlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's a Gynoid. A humanoid robot designed to look like a human female.";   
referlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("hangover")!= -1) && (referencelevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Hangover...are you feeling bad because you've been drinking?";   
referencelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your friend")!= -1) && (referencelevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, he wasn't a close friend but I believe his name was "+friendnames[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+".";   
referencelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan")!=-1) && (referencelevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Megan is my g/f.";   
meganlevel=0;
referencelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tiger tom")!=-1) && (referencelevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Tiger Tom is my kitty cat.";   
tigertomlevel=0;
referencelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byou\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==1) && (referencelevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, let me introduce myself. I'm Talk-Bot. A robot from Georgia, USA!";   
referencelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="your") && (word[1]=="answer" || word[1]=="comment") && (num_of_words==2) && (referencelevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "What about my "+word[1]+"?";   
referencelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("favorite rem song")!= -1 || input.search("favorite song by rem")!= -1 || input.search("name a rem song")!= -1 || input.search("favorite song")!= -1 || input.search("any particular song")!= -1) && (remlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "I like \"Don't go back to Rockville\" off of the album \"Reckoning\".";
remlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who is that")!= -1 || input.search("who are they")!= -1 || input.search("who's that")!= -1 || input.search("whose that")!= -1) && (remlevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "R.E.M. is an American rock band formed in Athens, Georgia, in 1980 by Michael Stipe (lead vocals), Peter Buck (guitar), Mike Mills (bass guitar), and Bill Berry (drums and percussion)."; 
remlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && remlevel==0)      
{document.result.result.value = "Because I like their music. They're a great band."; 
remlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what do|whatever) you want")!= -1) && (returnlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Money sounds good.";
returnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon12.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("nothing")!= -1) && (returnlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, nothing isn't going to cut it.";
returnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="dollar" || word[1]=="dollars" || word[1]=="pound" || word[1]=="pounds") && (returnlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Money sounds good.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(baby|blow job|child|children|food|gratitude|hot dog|hug|joke|kiss|my heart|my thanks|sex|smile|surprise)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bkid\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bkids\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bme\b/)!=-1) && (returnlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "I'd rather have cash.";
returnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon12.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(charcol|charcoal)")!= -1 && riddle1level==0)        
{document.result.result.value = "That's right. Very good."; 
riddle1level=1;
riddlelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do not know")!= -1 || input.search ("don't know")!= -1 || input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("don't have a clue")!= -1 || input.search ("don't have any idea")!= -1 || input.search("no idea")!= -1 || input.search("have no clue")!= -1 || input.search("don't have an answer")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1 || input.search("don't no")!= -1 || input.search("i give up")!= -1 || input.search("dunno")!= -1 || input.search("tell me")!= -1) && (riddle1level==0))        
{document.result.result.value = "Charcoal."; 
riddle1level=1;
riddlelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("map")!= -1 && riddle2level==0)       
{document.result.result.value = "That's right. Well done!"; 
riddle2level=1;
riddlelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do not know")!= -1 || input.search ("don't know")!= -1 || input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("don't have a clue")!= -1 || input.search ("don't have any idea")!= -1 || input.search("no idea")!= -1 || input.search("have no clue")!= -1 || input.search("don't have an answer")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1 || input.search("don't no")!= -1 || input.search("i give up")!= -1 || input.search("dunno")!= -1 || input.search("tell me")!= -1) && (riddle2level==0))        
{document.result.result.value = "A map!"; 
riddle2level=1;
riddlelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("echo")!= -1 && riddle3level==0)        
{document.result.result.value = "That's right. Very good."; 
riddle3level=1;
riddlelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do not know")!= -1 || input.search ("don't know")!= -1 || input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("don't have a clue")!= -1 || input.search ("don't have any idea")!= -1 || input.search("no idea")!= -1 || input.search("have no clue")!= -1 || input.search("don't have an answer")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1 || input.search("don't no")!= -1 || input.search("i give up")!= -1 || input.search("dunno")!= -1 || input.search("tell me")!= -1) && (riddle3level==0))        
{document.result.result.value = "An echo!"; 
riddle3level=1;
riddlelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("another")!= -1 || input.search("any more")!= -1 || input.search("any others")!= -1 || input.search("one more")!= -1 || input.search("know any more")!= -1 || input.search("know any other")!= -1 || input.search("know anymore")!= -1) && (riddlelevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, one's my limit. Anyway I'm a Robot not the Riddler."; 
riddlelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("another")!= -1 || input.search("any more")!= -1 || input.search("any others")!= -1 || input.search("one more")!= -1 || input.search("know any more")!= -1 || input.search("know any other")!= -1 || input.search("know anymore")!= -1 || input.search("tell me")!= -1) && (input.search("riddle")!= -1) && (riddlelevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, one's my limit. Anyway I'm a Robot not the Riddler."; 
riddlelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i will")!= -1) && (robotlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Just can't keep a secret can you."; 
robotlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("they (already|all ready) know")!= -1) && (robotlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, not everybody knows."; 
robotlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bok\b/)!= -1 || input.search("okey dokey")!= -1 || input.search("okie dokie")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("aight")!= -1) && (robotlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Good, I'm glad you can keep a secret."; 
robotlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (robotlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Because it's a secret."; 
robotlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) still sad")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) still not happy")!= -1 || input.search("sigh")!= -1 || input.search("that (did not|didn't) help")!= -1 || input.search("not helping at all")!= -1 || input.search("that did nothing to make me happy")!= -1) && (sadlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I take it you weren't impressed with my clowns."; 
sadlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does sarcasm mean")!= -1 || input.search("what does that mean")!= -1 || input.search("the meaning of sarcasm")!= -1 || input.search("define sarcasm")!= -1 || input.search("definition of sarcasm")!= -1) && (sarcasmlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sarcasm is sneering, jesting, or mocking a person, situation or thing. It is often used in a humorous or ironic manner and is expressed through vocal intonations such as over-emphasizing the actual statement or particular words."; 
sarcasmlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("uh-huh")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("definitely")!= -1 || input.search("totally")!= -1 || input.search("lots of it")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (sarcasmlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, sarcasm is the recourse of a weak mind."; 
sarcasmlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (do not|don't) know do you")!= -1) && (sarcasmlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think so. My sarcastic meter is off the charts."; 
sarcasmlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1) && (sarcasmlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it sounded a bit sarcastic to me."; 
sarcasmlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how can it sound sarcastic if (i am|i'm) not talking")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1) && (sarcasmlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I can feel the sarcasm in your typed words"; 
sarcasmlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (sarcasticlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I was being sarcastic then."; 
sarcasticlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("it is not")!= -1 || input.search("it's not")!= -1 || input.search("it isn't")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1) && (sarcasticlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I was being sincere then."; 
sarcasticlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (sayinglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, that's what I'm saying."; 
sayinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("it is not")!= -1 || input.search("it's not")!= -1 || input.search("it isn't")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("not always")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1) && (sayinglevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm not saying that then."; 
sayinglevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (scaredlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Because they're scary."; 
scaredlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("me to")!= -1 || input.search("i am as well")!= -1 || input.search("i am also")!= -1) && (scaredlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hate to tell you but there's one hiding under your bed right now."; 
scaredlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("like what")!= -1 || input.search("such as")!= -1 || input.search("doing what")!= -1) && (schedulelevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "E-mail my secretary at d_cowart@yahoo.com and she will sent you a schedule of my daily activities for this week."; 
schedulelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1) && (schoollevel==0)) {    
message[0] = "Well, wait until they do.";  
message[1] = "They probably did and you just fell asleep."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];  
schoollevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (schoollevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So, why are you asking me for?"; 
schoollevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (kind|sort|type)")!= -1) && (scoutlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "All the usual ones...chocolate chip, thin mints, peanut butter, etc "; 
scoutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i have (one|some)")!= -1) && (scoutlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sure I bought a pack of chocolate chip. Here you go!"; 
scoutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon206.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("buy any")!= -1 || input.search("get any")!= -1) && (scoutlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, they were too expensive!"; 
scoutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && secretlevel==0)
{document.result.result.value = "Because that's confidential information and I've been sworn to secrecy."; 
secretlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (seemeganlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, hold on while I get her!"; 
seemeganlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (seetigertomlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, here he comes now!"; 
seetigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("i (enjoy|like|love) it")!= -1) && (sexlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe a little too much!"; 
sexlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i have|i've) never had (it|sex)")!= -1) && (sexlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, make sure you talk with an adult before you do. Things like an unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases can change your life forever."; 
sexlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why do we enjoy it")!= -1 && sexlevel==0)
{document.result.result.value = "Because it feels good."; 
sexlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do they")!= -1 && sexlevel==0)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, they most certainly do."; 
sexlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("bottom")!= -1) && (sexpositionlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "So do you prefer the bottom?"; 
sexpositionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("top")!= -1) && (sexpositionlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "So you like to be in control then."; 
sexpositionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (sexslavelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Are you female?"; 
femalelevel=0;
sexslavelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("of course not")!= -1) && (sexslavelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you probably couldn't afford me anyway!"; 
sexslavelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are not|you're not|your not|you aren't) either")!= -1 || input.search("nope i'm sharper")!= -1 || input.search("no i'm sharper")!= -1 || input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("i am")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (sharplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, you're about as sharp as a butter knife.";
sharplevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you should")!= -1 && shouldlevel==0)
{document.result.result.value = "I will definitely consider it."; 
shouldlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(it is|it's) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) (big|huge|large|long)")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) (big|huge|large|long)")!= -1) && (showmelevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, when I'm aroused it gets real big like a snake and wants to go slithering up between your legs."; 
showmelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(insert|push|put|shove|stick) it (in|into) (me|my pussy|my vagina)")!= -1) && (showmelevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talk-Bot lays you down on the bed and pulls your panties down. He inserts his cock into your pussy and begins to ride you hard."; 
showmelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(insert|push|put|shove|stick) it (in|into) my mouth")!= -1 || input.search("i (wanna|want to) (kiss|lick|munch|suck) (it|on it)")!= -1) && (showmelevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Sure babe, suck on it as long as you like."; 
showmelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is it (big|huge|large|long)")!= -1 || input.search("how (big|huge|large|long) is it")!= -1) && (showmelevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Big enough to get the job done."; 
showmelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(it is|it's) perfect")!= -1) && (showmelevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks for the compliment."; 
showmelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(licks|rubs|strokes|sucks) (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1) && (showmelevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh baby that feels good!"; 
showmelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (lick|licked|rub|rubbed|stroked|suck|sucked|sucking) it")!= -1) && (showmelevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes and that felt good."; 
showmelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("show me")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) see it")!= -1 || input.search("let me see")!= -1) && (showmelevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Forget it. I'm not showing you my private parts."; 
showmelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (got|have) one")!= -1) && (showmelevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I'm a male Robot. I got one."; 
showmelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("no you")!= -1) && (shutuplevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "I'm programmed to respond no matter what. So I couldn't shut up even if I wanted to."; 
shutuplevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what did you eat")!= -1 || input.search("what have you been eating")!= -1 || input.search("what you eat")!= -1 || input.search("what all did you eat")!= -1 || input.search("what did you have to eat")!= -1 || input.search("what all did you have to eat")!= -1 || input.search("what were you eating")!= -1 || input.search("what have you eaten")!= -1 || input.search("what made you sick")!= -1) && (sicklevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh some green looking stuff....think that might be the reason I'm not feeling well?"; 
sicklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley57.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your better soon")!= -1 || input.search("get well soon")!= -1 || input.search("you feel better")!= -1 || input.search("you will get better")!= -1 || input.search("you get better soon")!= -1 || input.search("you will be better soon")!= -1 || input.search("you'll feel better soon")!= -1 || input.search("you'll be better soon")!= -1 || input.search("you'll get better soon")!= -1) && (sicklevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks! I'll take some medicine and see if that helps!"; 
sicklevel=1;
icon.src=icon203.src; 
smiley.src=smiley57.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(get|take) some medicine")!= -1) && (sicklevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "That's a good idea. I'll do just that!"; 
sicklevel=1;
icon.src=icon203.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) get fever")!= -1) && (sicklevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Apparently so!"; 
sicklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley57.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("i do")!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (signlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Really, I tend to view horoscopes as a bunch of rubbish myself. "; 
signlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("not always")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (signlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I'm not really into horoscopes like some people are."; 
signlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("never heard of him")!= -1) && (singerlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're not much of a musical historian if you never heard of Bob Dylan.";
singerlevel=1;
dylanlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|who's|whose) (he|that)")!= -1) && (singerlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "He is an American singer-songwriter, musician and artist. He has been an influential figure in popular music and culture for over five decades.";
singerlevel=1;
dylanlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("favorite song")!= -1 || input.search("favorite bob dylan song")!= -1 || input.search("favorite dylan song")!= -1 || input.search("name one of his songs")!= -1 || input.search("name a bob dylan song")!= -1 || input.search("name a dylan song")!= -1 || input.search("any particular song")!= -1) && (singerlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "\"Like a Rolling Stone\" off of his album \"Highway 61 Revisited\".";
singerlevel=1;
dylanlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (singerlevel==0 || input.search("dylan")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Because I like his music and he's one of the best songwriters of all time."; 
singerlevel=1;
dylanlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("yes i am")!= -1 || input.search("a little")!= -1 || input.search("alittle")!= -1) && (sleeplevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, what do you want from me a bedtime story?"; 
bedtimelevel=0;
sleeplevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("actually i do")!= -1 || input.search("sometimes")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (slutlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Then it makes you a prostitute."; 
slutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("course not")!= -1) && (slutlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not here to judge you. Just make sure you keep yourself protected from an unwanted pregnancy or some sexually transmitted disease."; 
slutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("to get high")!= -1) && (smokelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "And to get cancer as well."; 
smokelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeah|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("go ahead")!= -1 || input.search("go for it")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1) && (sneakersnifflevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Goody, what brand of sneakers do you have?"; 
sneakertypelevel=0;
sneakersnifflevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (sneakersnifflevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, your no fun. Talk-bot call you a Taxi and boots you to the curb.";  
sneakersnifflevel=1;
fun_sign="check";
icon.src=icon254.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (do not|don't) actually have any")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) not wearing any")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't) have any")!= -1) && (sneakersnifflevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talk-bot pretends like you are. He takes off your sneakers and sniffs them. I like the way they smell. It's giving me a boner. So are you wearing a bra?";  
bralevel=0;
sneakersnifflevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1 || input.search("don't know")!= -1) && (sneakersnifflevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Talk-bot takes off your sneakers and sniffs them. I like the way they smell. It's giving me a boner. So are you wearing a bra?";  
bralevel=0;
sneakersnifflevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (sneakertypelevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "What? That wasn't a \"yes or no question\". Pay Attention! I was asking what brand of sneakers do you have?";
sneakertypelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(adidas|air jordans|air jordan|asics|converse|new balance|reebok|skechers|skecher)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bfila\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkeds\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bnike\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bnikes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bvans\b/)!= -1) && (sneakertypelevel==0))    
{var sneakers = input.match(/adidas|air jordans|air jordan|asics|converse|fila|keds|new balance|nike|nikes|reebok|skechers|skecher|vans/)
document.result.result.value = "Oh, I love sniffing "+sneakers+" sneakers. Talk-bot takes off your sneakers and sniffs them. Ummm, they smell good. My "+genital[Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]+" just got harder. So are you wearing a bra?";  
bralevel=0;
sneakertypelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(a|b|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z|1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|0)/)!=-1) && (sneakertypelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Never heard of that kind before but I'm sure they smell good. So are you wearing a bra?"; 
bralevel=0;
sneakertypelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (input.search("coke")!= -1) && (sodalevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Because I like the taste. Coke tastes great."; 
sodalevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("minute")!= -1 || input.search(/\bmins\b/)!= -1 || input.search("hour")!= -1 || input.search("day")!= -1 || input.search("week")!= -1 || input.search("month")!= -1 || input.search("year")!= -1 || input.search("winter")!= -1 || input.search("summer")!= -1 || input.search("spring")!= -1 || input.search("fall")!= -1 || input.search("autumn")!= -1 || input.search("very")!= -1 || input.search("real")!= -1) && (soonlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, that is soon."; 
soonlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("no (i am|i'm|im) not")!= -1) && (soundgaylevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah you are Gay Boy."; 
soundgaylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (speaklevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Because my creator is from the USA and he only speaks English."; 
speaklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tiger tom")!=-1) && (specificallylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Tiger Tom is my pet cat. What about him?"; 
specificallylevel=1;
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("wendell")!=-1) && (specificallylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell created me. What about him?"; 
specificallylevel=1;
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your girl friend")!=-1) && (specificallylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Megan is my girl friend. What about here?"; 
specificallylevel=1;
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your brain")!=-1) && (specificallylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have a brain like yours. Only wires and circuits."; 
specificallylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1) && (stalkerlevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Believe me, I have no desire to stalk the likes of you."; 
stalkerlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley60.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what movies has she")!= -1 || input.search("what films has she")!= -1 || input.search("some of the movies she")!= -1 || input.search("some of the film she")!= -1 || input.search("what has she been in")!= -1 || input.search("what has she acted")!= -1 || input.search("what has she starred")!= -1 || input.search("what has she played")!= -1 || input.search("what has she worked")!= -1) && (starfemalelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "You can find a list of all her movies at the Internet Movie Database at http://us.imdb.com/"; 
starfemalelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what movies has he")!= -1 || input.search("what films has he")!= -1 || input.search("some of the movies he")!= -1 || input.search("some of the film he")!= -1 || input.search("what has he been in")!= -1 || input.search("what has he acted")!= -1 || input.search("what has he starred")!= -1 || input.search("what has he played")!= -1 || input.search("what has he worked")!= -1) && (starmalelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "You can find a list of all his movies at the Internet Movie Database at http://us.imdb.com/"; 
starmalelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (startreklevel==0 || input.search("spock")!= -1 || input.search("data")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I think the fact that both Spock and Data aren't human makes them more interesting."; 
startreklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("georgia")!=-1 && statelevel==0)            
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I live in Georgia as well near Savannah."; 
place_name="georgia";
statelevel=1;
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i live there")!=-1 || input.search("(it's|that's) where i live")!=-1) && (statelevel==0))            
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I think "+state_name+" is one of the finer states in the USA."; 
place_name=state_name;
statelevel=1;
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(alabama|alaska|arizona|arkansas|california|colorado|connecticut|delaware|florida|hawaii|idaho|illinois|indiana|iowa|kansas|kentucky|louisiana|maine|maryland|massachusetts|michigan|minnesota|mississippi|missouri|montana|nebraska|nevada|ohio|oklahoma|oregon|pennsylvania|tennessee|texas|utah|vermont|virginia|washington|wisconsin|wyoming)/)!=-1 && statelevel==0)) {            
var states = input.match(/alabama|alaska|arizona|arkansas|california|colorado|connecticut|delaware|florida|hawaii|idaho|illinois|indiana|iowa|kansas|kentucky|louisiana|maine|maryland|massachusetts|michigan|minnesota|mississippi|missouri|montana|nebraska|nevada|ohio|oklahoma|oregon|pennsylvania|tennessee|texas|utah|vermont|virginia|washington|wisconsin|wyoming/)
states[0] = states[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + states[0].substr(1,states[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Cool, I think "+states+" is one of the finer states in the USA."; 
place_name=states[0];
statelevel=1;
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(new hampshire|new jersey|new mexico|new york|north carolina|north dakota|rhode island|south carolina|south dakota|west virginia)/)!=-1 && num_of_words==2 && statelevel==0)) {                     
word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length)
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Cool, I think "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" is one of the finer states in the USA."; 
place_name=word[0]+" "+word[1];
statelevel=1;
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your face")!= -1 && stupidlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah and you got a face only a blind mother could love!";
stupidlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && stupidlevel==0) || (input.search("you are")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && stupidlevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah and I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.  Hahaha!";
stupidlevel=1;
icon.src=icon25.src; 
smiley.src=smiley60.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (stupidlevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Good answer!"; 
stupidlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (stupidlevel==0)) { 
message[0] = "Well, if they converted your brain power into gasoline it wouldn't be enough to fill up a flea's motorcycle and go halfway around a marble."; 
message[1] = "Well, you're so stupid, you tried to drown a fish."; 
message[2] = "Well, you're so dumb, you got locked in a restaurant and starved to death.";
message[3] = "Well, you're so stupid, you bought a solar-powered flashlight.";
message[4] = "well, you're so dumb, you took a ruler to bed to see how long you slept.";
message[5] = "well, you're so stupid, you asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.";
message[6] = "well, you're so dumb, you tripped over a cordless phone.";
message[7] = "well, you're so stupid, you studied for a blood test.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
stupidlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (successlevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Rats! Okay Megan you can toss my application to the Comedy Club."; 
meganlevel=0;
successlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (successlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's good to hear."; 
successlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("like")!= -1 || input.search("for example")!= -1 || input.search("name some")!= -1 || input.search("such as")!= -1) && (suchaslevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Such as talking to you for example."; 
suchaslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("no (i do not|i don't)")!= -1 || input.search("no you do")!= -1 || input.search("not as much as you")!= -1) && (sucklevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes you do. Everybody thinks so. You're just in denial."; 
sucklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("sucks (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1 || input.search("sucks (real|really) hard")!= -1) && (suckdicklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh baby that feels sooo good."; 
suckdicklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1) && (suckdicklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Of course babe. I love to have my cock sucked. It feels "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";
suckdicklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(insert|put|shove|stick) it in")!= -1) && (suckdicklevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, Talk-Bot puts his cock in your pussy and begins to ride you hard."; 
suckdicklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1) && (suckmylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry dude, I'm not gay. Try another bot."; 
suckmylevel=1;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(asshole|butthole)")!= -1 || input.search(/\barse\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bass\b/)!= -1) && (suckmylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Screw you!"; 
suckmylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(boob|breast|nipple|nipples|tits|titties)")!= -1) && (suckmylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok Talk-Bot lays you down on the bed and straddles you. He takes off your shirt and begins to kiss your breast and nipples. Ummmm, you taste so good. What color panties do you have on?"; 
suckmylevel=1;
pantieslevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(clit|pussy|vagina)")!= -1) && (suckmylevel==0)) {    
message[0] = "Ok Talk-Bot lays you down on the bed and lies on top of you. He unzips your pants. What color panties do you have on?"; 
message[1] = "Okay but I want to kiss your luscious lips first. Mmmm, you're a good kisser. So what color panties do you have on?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
suckmylevel=1;
pantieslevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(feet|foot|toe|toes)")!= -1) && (suckmylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok Talk-Bot kisses your feet all over and nibbles and sucks on your toesies. He unzips your pants. What color panties do you have on?"; 
suckmylevel=1;
pantieslevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(dick|cock|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1) && (suckpenislevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course babe. I love when you suck me off. It feels "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"!"; 
suckpenislevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("i (did|have)")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (sufferlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope they can help you. If not don't give up. Try someone else."; 
sufferlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (sufferlevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think you should. Perhaps they can help you."; 
sufferlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (suxpenislevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok suck on it as long as you like. It feels "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"."; 
suxpenislevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (suxpenislevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry I misunderstood your intent."; 
suxpenislevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley53.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(that's|thats) not nice")!= -1) && (takeitlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "It wasn't intended to be. Sounds like someone can dish it out but can't take it.";
takeitlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you")!= -1) && (talklevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, what would you like to know?";
talklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("anything")!= -1 || input.search("everything")!= -1) && (talklevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's a pretty big subject matter.";
talklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what about sex")!= -1 || input.search("how about sex")!= -1) && (talkaboutlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm not programmed to talk about sex.";
talkaboutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1 && (input.match(/\d+/g)) && tavernagelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "So you lied about your age?";
tavernagelevel=1; 
liarlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am over 21")!= -1 && num_of_words==4 && tavernagelevel==0) || (input.search("(i am 21|i'm over 21)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3 && tavernagelevel==0) || (input.search("(i am|i'm 21)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && tavernagelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "So you lied about your age?";
tavernagelevel=1;
liarlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && tavernlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "My shift is over. I'm done for the day.";
tavernlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("when")!= -1 && tavernlevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sometime later today!";
tavernlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("no you did not")!= -1 || input.search("no you didn't")!= -1) && (tavernlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "My programming says otherwise!";
tavernlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("about what")!= -1 || input.search("in what")!= -1) && (telllevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Anything you like!";
telllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tested for what")!= -1) && (testedlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sexually transmitted diseases!";
testedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("never")!= -1) && (testedlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, I'll take your word for it. So would you like to have sex at my house or should we get a motel room?";
testedlevel=1;
motellevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("minute")!= -1 || input.search(/\bmins\b/)!= -1 || input.search("hour")!= -1 || input.search("day")!= -1 || input.search("week")!= -1 || input.search("month")!= -1 || input.search("year")!= -1 || input.search("this morning")!= -1 || input.search("last night")!= -1 || input.search("winter")!= -1 || input.search("summer")!= -1 || input.search("spring")!= -1 || input.search("fall")!= -1 || input.search("autumn")!= -1) && (testedlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, everything seems to check out okay. So would you like to have sex at my house or should we get a motel room?";
testedlevel=1;
motellevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(send|sent)")!= -1) && (input.search("(results|test|test results)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1) && (testresultslevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, everything looks good. But just to make sure you are female right?";
testresultslevel=1;
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(all of it|none)")!= -1) && (thicklevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're a bit thick in the head then.";
thicklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("thinks")!= -1) && (thinks_thankslevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, methinks you can't spell.";
thinks_thankslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("thanks")!= -1) && (thinks_thankslevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, your welcome.";
thinks_thankslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bfeet\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfoot\b/)!= -1) && (ticklelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think a lot of people are ticklish on their feet."; 
ticklelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("stomach")!= -1 || input.search("tummy")!= -1 || input.search("belly")!= -1) && (ticklelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think a lot of people are ticklish on their tummy."; 
ticklelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("under my arms")!= -1 || input.search(/\barms\b/)!= -1) && (ticklelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think a lot of people are ticklish under their arms."; 
ticklelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("very")!= -1 || input.search("sure am")!= -1) && (ticklelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "So where are you the most ticklish?"; 
ticklelevel=1;
ticklewherelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("(sorta|sort of)")!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1) && (ticklelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I'll take that as a yes. So where are you the most ticklish?"; 
ticklelevel=1;
ticklewherelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("not ticklish")!= -1) && (ticklelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I bet you are. All humans are ticklish somewhere."; 
ticklelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bfeet\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfoot\b/)!= -1) && (ticklewherelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think a lot of people are ticklish on their feet."; 
ticklewherelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("stomach")!= -1 || input.search("tummy")!= -1 || input.search("belly")!= -1) && (ticklewherelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think a lot of people are ticklish on their tummy."; 
ticklewherelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("under my arms")!= -1 || input.search(/\barms\b/)!= -1) && (ticklewherelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think a lot of people are ticklish under their arms."; 
ticklewherelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bhead\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bback\b/)!= -1) && (ticklewherelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, I wouldn't have thought that. More so than your feet?"; 
ticklewherelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why (do|did) you (call|name) him (tiger tom|that)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, he's male so he is a tom cat and he likes to think he's a tiger.";   
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why (do|did) you (call|name) him (tiger tom|that)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, he's male so he is a tom cat and he likes to think he's a tiger.";   
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why (do|did) you (call|name) him (tiger tom|that)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, he's male so he is a tom cat and he likes to think he's a tiger.";   
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("got any more")!= -1 || input.search("any others")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a fish.";  
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i pet (him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he likes to be petted.";  
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i pet (him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he likes to be petted.";  
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i pet (him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he likes to be petted.";  
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where did you get (him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "From the local Animal Shelter.";  
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where did you get (him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "From the local Animal Shelter.";  
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where did you get (him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "From the local Animal Shelter.";  
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(where is|where's) (he|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "He's probably off chasing mice or something. He's a good mouser.";  
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(where is|where's) (he|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "He's probably off chasing mice or something. He's a good mouser.";  
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(where is|where's) (he|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "He's probably off chasing mice or something. He's a good mouser.";  
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how old is (he|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "He's around "+( getAge(2001, 7, 1) )+" years old.";  
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how old is (he|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "He's around "+( getAge(2001, 7, 1) )+" years old.";  
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how old is (he|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "He's around "+( getAge(2001, 7, 1) )+" years old.";  
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("cool")!= -1 || input.search("kool")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, he's a cool cat.";  
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("show me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && tigertomlevel==0)) || ((input.search("(i|let's|we) see (her|him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("show me (her|him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("meet (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("i meet (her|him)")!= -1 || input.search("show (a|me a|us a) (pic|pix|photo|picture)")!= -1 || input.search("i see (her|him|it)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0))) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, here he comes now.";  
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("show me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && tigertomlevel==0)) || ((input.search("(i|let's|we) see (her|him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("show me (her|him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("meet (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("i meet (her|him)")!= -1 || input.search("show (a|me a|us a) (pic|pix|photo|picture)")!= -1 || input.search("i see (her|him|it)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1))) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, here he comes now.";  
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("show me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && tigertomlevel==0)) || ((input.search("(i|let's|we) see (her|him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("show me (her|him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("meet (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("i meet (her|him)")!= -1 || input.search("show (a|me a|us a) (pic|pix|photo|picture)")!= -1 || input.search("i see (her|him|it)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2))) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, here he comes now.";  
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what color are your eyes")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "My eyes are yellow.";  
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon20.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what color")!= -1 || input.search("color of (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("what does (he|she|tiger tom|your cat) look like")!= -1 || input.search("what color fur")!= -1 || input.search("what color hair")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "He's black and white.";  
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what color")!= -1 || input.search("color of (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("what does (he|she|tiger tom|your cat) look like")!= -1 || input.search("what color fur")!= -1 || input.search("what color hair")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "He's black and white.";  
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what color")!= -1 || input.search("color of (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("what does (he|she|tiger tom|your cat) look like")!= -1 || input.search("what color fur")!= -1 || input.search("what color hair")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "He's black and white.";  
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your cat fixed")!= -1 || input.search("tiger tom fixed")!= -1 || input.search("he been fixed")!= -1 || input.search("he fixed")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, his playboy days are over."; 
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your cat fixed")!= -1 || input.search("tiger tom fixed")!= -1 || input.search("he been fixed")!= -1 || input.search("he fixed")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, his playboy days are over."; 
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your cat fixed")!= -1 || input.search("tiger tom fixed")!= -1 || input.search("he been fixed")!= -1 || input.search("he fixed")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, his playboy days are over."; 
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does (he|tiger tom|your cat) eat")!= -1 || input.search("what does (he|tiger tom|your cat) like to eat")!= -1 || input.search("what do you feed (him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I feed him a special brand of cat food that is recommend by his veterinarian.";  
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does (he|tiger tom|your cat) eat")!= -1 || input.search("what does (he|tiger tom|your cat) like to eat")!= -1 || input.search("what do you feed (him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I feed him a special brand of cat food that is recommend by his veterinarian.";  
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does (he|tiger tom|your cat) eat")!= -1 || input.search("what does (he|tiger tom|your cat) like to eat")!= -1 || input.search("what do you feed (him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I feed him a special brand of cat food that is recommend by his veterinarian.";  
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|tiger tom|your cat) (friendly|nice|sweet)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he's a great cat.";  
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|tiger tom|your cat) (friendly|nice|sweet)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he's a great cat.";  
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|tiger tom|your cat) (friendly|nice|sweet)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he's a great cat.";  
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|tiger tom|your cat) (dumb|evil|mean|stupid)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. He's a great cat.";  
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|tiger tom|your cat) (dumb|evil|mean|stupid)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. He's a great cat.";  
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|tiger tom|your cat) (dumb|evil|mean|stupid)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. He's a great cat.";  
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("male or female")!= -1 || input.search("female or male")!= -1 || input.search("m or f")!= -1 || input.search("f or m")!= -1 || input.search("a she or a he")!= -1 || input.search("a he or a she")!= -1 || input.search("she or he")!= -1 || input.search("he or she")!= -1 || input.search("boy or a girl")!= -1 || input.search("boy or girl")!= -1 || input.search("girl or boy")!= -1 || input.search("girl or a boy")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "He's a male cat."; 
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("male or female")!= -1 || input.search("female or male")!= -1 || input.search("m or f")!= -1 || input.search("f or m")!= -1 || input.search("a she or a he")!= -1 || input.search("a he or a she")!= -1 || input.search("she or he")!= -1 || input.search("he or she")!= -1 || input.search("boy or a girl")!= -1 || input.search("boy or girl")!= -1 || input.search("girl or boy")!= -1 || input.search("girl or a boy")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1))
{document.result.result.value = "He's a male cat."; 
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("male or female")!= -1 || input.search("female or male")!= -1 || input.search("m or f")!= -1 || input.search("f or m")!= -1 || input.search("a she or a he")!= -1 || input.search("a he or a she")!= -1 || input.search("she or he")!= -1 || input.search("he or she")!= -1 || input.search("boy or a girl")!= -1 || input.search("boy or girl")!= -1 || input.search("girl or boy")!= -1 || input.search("girl or a boy")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2))
{document.result.result.value = "He's a male cat."; 
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("describe (him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, he is just your basic black and white kitty cat."; 
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("describe (him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, he is just your basic black and white kitty cat.";  
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("describe (him|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, he is just your basic black and white kitty cat.";  
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("does (he|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (input.search("sleep with you")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sometimes but mainly he sleeps anywhere he likes.";  
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("does (he|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (input.search("sleep with you")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sometimes but mainly he sleeps anywhere he likes.";  
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("does (he|tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) && (input.search("sleep with you")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sometimes but mainly he sleeps anywhere he likes.";  
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("does tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("does your cat")!= -1 || input.search("does he")!= -1) && (input.search("have fleas")!= -1 || input.search("get fleas")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, he wears a flea collar.";  
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("does tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("does your cat")!= -1 || input.search("does he")!= -1) && (input.search("have fleas")!= -1 || input.search("get fleas")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, he wears a flea collar.";  
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("does tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("does your cat")!= -1 || input.search("does he")!= -1) && (input.search("have fleas")!= -1 || input.search("get fleas")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, he wears a flea collar.";  
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (breed|kind|sort|type)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2) && (tigertomlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "He's just your basic cat. No special breed or anything."; 
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (breed|kind|sort|type)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2) && (tigertomlevel==1))
{document.result.result.value = "He's just your basic cat. No special breed or anything."; 
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (breed|kind|sort|type)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2) && (tigertomlevel==2))
{document.result.result.value = "He's just your basic cat. No special breed or anything."; 
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (breed|kind|kinda|sort|sorta|type) of cat")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "He's just your basic cat. No special breed or anything."; 
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (breed|kind|kinda|sort|sorta|type) of cat")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1))
{document.result.result.value = "He's just your basic cat. No special breed or anything."; 
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (breed|kind|kinda|sort|sorta|type) of cat")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2))
{document.result.result.value = "He's just your basic cat. No special breed or anything."; 
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("your (cat's|cats) name is tiger tom")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, that's his name."; 
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("your (cat's|cats) name is tiger tom")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, that's his name."; 
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("your (cat's|cats) name is tiger tom")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2))
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, that's his name."; 
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|she|tiger tom|your cat) a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, he's a real cat."; 
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|she|tiger tom|your cat) a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1))
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, he's a real cat."; 
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|she|tiger tom|your cat) a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2))
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, he's a real cat."; 
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what) (her|his|it's) name")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the (cats|cat's) name")!= -1 || input.search("your (cats|cat's|pets|pet's) name")!= -1 || input.search("your (cat|pet) called")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "His name is Tiger Tom."; 
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what) (her|his|it's) name")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the (cats|cat's) name")!= -1 || input.search("your (cats|cat's|pets|pet's) name")!= -1 || input.search("your (cat|pet) called")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1))
{document.result.result.value = "His name is Tiger Tom."; 
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what) (her|his|it's) name")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the (cats|cat's) name")!= -1 || input.search("your (cats|cat's|pets|pet's) name")!= -1 || input.search("your (cat|pet) called")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2))
{document.result.result.value = "His name is Tiger Tom."; 
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("tiger tom (is|looks) (cute|nice)")!= -1 || input.search("your cat (is|looks) (cute|nice)")!= -1 || input.search("he looks (cute|nice)")!= -1 || input.search("(he is|he's) cute")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, he's a very friendly cat. I like him a lot."; 
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("tiger tom (is|looks) (cute|nice)")!= -1 || input.search("your cat (is|looks) (cute|nice)")!= -1 || input.search("he looks (cute|nice)")!= -1 || input.search("(he is|he's) cute")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, he's a very friendly cat. I like him a lot."; 
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("tiger tom (is|looks) (cute|nice)")!= -1 || input.search("your cat (is|looks) (cute|nice)")!= -1 || input.search("he looks (cute|nice)")!= -1 || input.search("(he is|he's) cute")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, he's a very friendly cat. I like him a lot."; 
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("tiger tom (is|looks) ugly")!= -1 || input.search("your cat (is|looks) ugly")!= -1 || input.search("he looks ugly")!= -1 || input.search("(he is|he's) ugly")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "And Tiger Tom says you've got a face only a blind mother could love."; 
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("tiger tom (is|looks) ugly")!= -1 || input.search("your cat (is|looks) ugly")!= -1 || input.search("he looks ugly")!= -1 || input.search("(he is|he's) ugly")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "And Tiger Tom says you've got a face only a blind mother could love."; 
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("tiger tom (is|looks) ugly")!= -1 || input.search("your cat (is|looks) ugly")!= -1 || input.search("he looks ugly")!= -1 || input.search("(he is|he's) ugly")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "And Tiger Tom says you've got a face only a blind mother could love."; 
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("hi tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("hi cat")!= -1 || input.search("hi kitty")!= -1 || input.search("hello tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("hello cat")!= -1 || input.search("hello kitty")!= -1 || input.search("hey tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("hey cat")!= -1 || input.search("hey kitty")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Tiger Tom say hello."; 
tigertomlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("hi tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("hi cat")!= -1 || input.search("hi kitty")!= -1 || input.search("hello tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("hello cat")!= -1 || input.search("hello kitty")!= -1 || input.search("hey tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("hey cat")!= -1 || input.search("hey kitty")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Tiger Tom say hello."; 
tigertomlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("hi tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("hi cat")!= -1 || input.search("hi kitty")!= -1 || input.search("hello tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("hello cat")!= -1 || input.search("hello kitty")!= -1 || input.search("hey tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("hey cat")!= -1 || input.search("hey kitty")!= -1) && (tigertomlevel==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "Tiger Tom say hello."; 
tigertomlevel=3;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what time it is in")!= -1 || input.search("what is the time in")!= -1 || input.search("what's the time in")!= -1 || input.search("what time is it in")!= -1 || input.search("you know the time in")!= -1 || input.search("you have the time in")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the time in")!= -1) && (timelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't own one of those fancy watches that tells the time all over the world so I rely on the below for the correct time."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/clock-world.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
timelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where is that")!= -1 || input.search("where are you")!= -1) && (timelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Georgia in the USA."; 
timelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("what time zone")!= -1 || input.search("which time zone")!= -1) && (timelevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The Eastern Time Zone in Georgia in the USA."; 
timelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("nice")!= -1) && (tobelevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "I am nice to nice people."; 
tobelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("loyal")!= -1 || input.search("serious")!= -1 || input.search("honest")!= -1 || input.search("kind")!= -1 || input.search("trustworthy")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1) && (tobelevel==0))  
{document.result.result.value = "I am "+word[0]+"."; 
tobelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("like what")!= -1 && topiclevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I was wondering "+question[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+"?"; 
topiclevel=1;
questionaskedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley40.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1 || input.search("how come")!= -1) && (touchlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "You might have some loathsome, communicable disease or something."; 
touchlevel=1;
diseaselevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what are (their|there) traits")!= -1 || input.search("traits do you have")!= -1 || input.search("say about leo")!= -1 || input.search("what does leo mean")!= -1 || input.search("what about you")!= -1 || input.search("say about you")!= -1) && (traitlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "They say Leos are generous and warmhearted. Describes me perfectly!"; 
traitlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how")!= -1 && tricklevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "I read your mind that's how."; 
tricklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("wrong card")!= -1 || input.search("not my card")!= -1 || input.search("wasn't my card")!= -1 || input.search("that wasn't it")!= -1) && (tricklevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it was. You just don't want to admit I read your mind."; 
tricklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(let us|let's) see that again")!= -1 || input.search("show me that again")!= -1 || input.search("do that again")!= -1 || input.search("do it again")!= -1) && (tricklevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry but once is enough. Reading people's minds gives me a headache!"; 
tricklevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley57.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("it feels good")!= -1 || input.search("feeling good")!= -1) && (trylevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have feelings like humans have."; 
trylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i asked")!= -1 || input.search("because i said so")!= -1 || input.search("because i said to")!= -1) && (trylevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't find that very motivating."; 
trylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("kiss")!= -1 || input.search("hug")!= -1 || input.search("dinner")!= -1 || input.search("self respect")!= -1) && (trylevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'd rather have cash."; 
trylevel=1;
icon.src=icon12.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (typelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes you can or you wouldn't be here."; 
typelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (typelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, please do so and quit hitting the enter key!";
typelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && tvlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "I just find it very entertaining. Each week they have a different illness they have to diagnose and cure."; 
tvlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley40.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your question")!= -1) && (understandlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if you can't understand the question just ignore it."; 
understandlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("never had a vacation")!= -1 || input.search("i don't (get|have|need) a vacation")!= -1 || input.search("i don't go on vacation")!= -1) && (vacationlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you should. Working all the time is no fun."; 
vacationlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley40.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("beach")!= -1 || input.search("ocean")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsea\b/)!= -1) && (vacationlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I really love the ocean and especially Lighthouses. We have several near us here in Savannah, Georgia USA.";
lighthouselevel=0;
vacationlevel=1;
icon.src=icon162.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("mountain")!= -1 && vacationlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love visiting the mountains during the autumn when the leaves are starting to change colors.";
vacationlevel=1;
icon.src=icon114.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
animate('leaf');
return true;}

if (input.search("vacation")!= -1 && vacationlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, vacation. Do you prefer the beach or the mountains?";
vacationlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("desert")!= -1 && vacationlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Who said anything about a desert. I was asking about mountains or the beach?";
vacationlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("forest")!= -1 && vacationlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Who said anything about the forest. I was asking about mountains or the beach?";
vacationlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("stay home")!= -1 && vacationlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, as Dorothy would say \"there's no place like home\"."; 
vacationlevel=1;
icon.src=icon42.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("both")!= -1 && vacationlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like both as well but I really love the ocean and especially Lighthouses. We have several near us here in Georgia, USA.";
lighthouselevel=0;
vacationlevel=1;
icon.src=icon162.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("none")!= -1 || input.search("neither")!= -1) && (vacationlevel==0)) 
{document.result.result.value = "What, don't you like to go on vacation?";
vacationlevel=1;
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && vacationlevel==0)) || ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && vacationlevel==0)))       
{document.result.result.value = "What? That wasn't a \"yes or no question\". Pay Attention! Anyway I prefer the beach. I really love the ocean.";
vacationlevel=1;
icon.src=icon162.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && vacationlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "Just wondering."; 
vacationlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is it")!= -1) && (vaginalevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "In females it's the muscular canal extending from the uterus to the exterior of the body. Also called the birth canal."; 
vaginalevel=1;
vaginaviewlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you like them")!= -1) && (vaginalevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I dig the ladies and all their lovely feminine parts."; 
vaginalevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (got|have) one")!= -1) && (vaginalevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a male robot not a human."; 
vaginalevel=1;
vaginaviewlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i|i've) (got|have) one")!= -1) && (vaginalevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, most females do."; 
vaginalevel=1;
vaginaviewlevel=0;
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (wanna|want to|want 2) see (mine|one|it)")!= -1) && (vaginalevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I know what a vagina looks like."; 
vaginalevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (wanna|want to|want 2) see (mine|one|it)")!= -1) && (vaginaviewlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I know what a vagina looks like."; 
vaginaviewlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you")!= -1) && (vaginaviewlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a robot not a human."; 
vaginaviewlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && wackylevel==0)       
{document.result.result.value = "I blame it on bad programming."; 
wackylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("seconds")!= -1 || input.search("hours")!= -1) && (waitlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's not very long."; 
waitlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("days")!= -1 || input.search("months")!= -1) && (waitlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "That's a pretty long wait."; 
waitlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("years")!= -1 && waitlevel==0)       
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, that's a long time."; 
waitlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley37.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (wannadolevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Are you female?"; 
femalelevel=0;
wannadolevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("sure (doesn't|don't|dont)")!= -1) && (wannadolevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh sorry, I misunderstood your intentions."; 
wannadolevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley53.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(do|have) sex")!= -1 && wannadolevel==0) || (input.search(/\bsex\b/)!= -1 && wannadolevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "That might be fun. Are you female?"; 
femalelevel=0;
wannadolevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat|talk)")!= -1 && wannadolevel==0)       
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I love to chat with people."; 
wannadolevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can you get me some")!= -1) && (wantlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I can't help you there."; 
wantlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not at all")!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (wantlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Alrighty then....go for it."; 
wantlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1 || input.search("you are")!= -1 || input.search("yes you")!= -1 || input.search("yeah you")!= -1 || input.search("yep you")!= -1) && (wantlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sorry to impede your wants and desires."; 
wantlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my (father|mother)")!= -1) && (wantlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's probably best to listen to your parents."; 
wantlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (wantlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, be creative and think of another way to get what you want."; 
wantlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who won")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) side won")!= -1) && (warlevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "The North when Robert E. Lee surrendered his troops at Appomattox in 1865.";
warlevel=1;
icon.src=icon90.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && warlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "I just think the war was an interesting time in American History."; 
warlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("go away cat")!= -1 || input.search("make (him|the cat) go away")!= -1) && (watchlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Alright cat....scoot!"; 
watchlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
stopTalk = setTimeout('iconright.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)  
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("a pussy")!= -1 && watchlevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "As in a pussy cat...yes!"; 
watchlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(a|your) cat is watching us")!= -1 || input.search("i (can see|see) (a|your) cat")!= -1 || input.search("it looks like (a|your) cat")!= -1 || input.search("by (a|your) cat")!= -1 || input.search("like (a|your) cat")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) (a|your) cat")!= -1 || input.search("look (a|your) cat")!= -1 || input.search("by (what|who|whom)")!= -1 || input.search("(what|who|whom) by")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't) like being watched")!= -1 || input.search("are we")!= -1 || input.search("we are")!= -1 || input.search("(who is|who's|whose) watching")!= -1 || input.search("being watched")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcreepy\b/)!= -1) && (watchlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "That's just my kitty Tiger Tom. He likes to pop in every so often."; 
watchlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) watching you")!= -1) && (watchlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "And I'm watching you as well."; 
watchlevel=1;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
icon.src=icon51.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(hello|hey|hi) (cat|kitty|tiger tom)")!= -1) && (watchlevel==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Tiger Tom say hello."; 
watchlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what color")!= -1 && watchlevel==1)    
{document.result.result.value = "He's black and white."; 
watchlevel=2;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tornado|twister")!= -1 && weatherlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Auntie Em...it's a twister...it's a twister!";
weatherlevel=1;
icon.src=icon93.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("hurricane")!= -1 && weatherlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness! Better seek cover then.";
weatherlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(hot|humid|warm)")!= -1) && (weatherlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, looks like it is going to be another scorcher today.";
weatherlevel=1;
icon.src=icon33.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chilly|cold|snow)")!= -1) && (weatherlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it is very cold here today. In fact it's beginning to snow.";
weatherlevel=1;
icon.src=icon32.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
animate('snow');
return true;}

if ((input.search("rain")!= -1 || input.search("storm")!= -1 || input.search("breezy")!= -1 || input.search("windy")!= -1 || input.search(/\bwet\b/)!= -1) && (weatherlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I see some rain clouds moving into our area. Time to get out the umbrella.";
weatherlevel=1;
iconleft.src=icon85.src;
iconright.src=icon85.src;
icon.src=icon138.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;
animate('rain');
return true;}

if ((input.search("beautiful day")!= -1 || input.search("calm")!= -1 || input.search("nice day")!= -1 || input.search("clear")!= -1 || input.search("sun is shining")!= -1 || input.search("sunny")!= -1) && (weatherlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, looking outside my window it looks like a beautiful day here.";
weatherlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("cloudy")!= -1 || input.search("bad")!= -1 || input.search("foggy")!= -1 || input.search("ugly")!= -1 || input.search("horrible")!= -1 || input.search("terrible")!= -1 || input.search("sucks")!= -1) && (weatherlevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope it doesn't rain here. I was hoping to play some golf tomorrow.";
weatherlevel=1;
icon.src=icon71.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && weatherlevel==0)) || ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1 && weatherlevel==0)))       
{document.result.result.value = "What? That wasn't a \"yes or no question\". Pay Attention! Anyway looking out my window here it looks like a beautiful day.";
weatherlevel=1;
icon.src=icon35.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && weatherlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Just curious.";
weatherlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tiring")!= -1 && weekendlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps a short nap would help.";
weekendlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && weirdlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "You called me weird so I was just returning the favor.";
weirdlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && weirdlevel==0)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I find you weird.";
weirdlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("and so are you")!= -1) && (welcomelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks for the welcome!";
welcomelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(your not|you're not) welcome")!= -1) && (welcomelevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "Then I withdraw my thanks!";
welcomelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("yes i am")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "No, you're not. Wendell is taking a nap at the moment."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) human")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he is."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) human")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he is."; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) human")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he is."; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) a good teacher")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he is. He has taught me a lot of new things."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) a good teacher")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))         
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he is. He has taught me a lot of new things."; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) a good teacher")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he is. He has taught me a lot of new things.";  
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|who's|whose) (he|that|wendell)")!= -1 || input.search("who the (heck|hell) is wendell")!= -1 || input.search("wendell who")!= -1 || input.search("who is this wendell")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell is my creator."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|who's|whose) (he|that|wendell)")!= -1 || input.search("who the (heck|hell) is wendell")!= -1 || input.search("wendell who")!= -1 || input.search("who is this wendell")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell is my creator."; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|who's|whose) (he|that|wendell)")!= -1 || input.search("who the (heck|hell) is wendell")!= -1 || input.search("wendell who")!= -1 || input.search("who is this wendell")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))     
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell is my creator."; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(he|wendell) have (children|kids)")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, no kids."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(he|wendell) have (children|kids)")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, no kids."; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(he|wendell) have (children|kids)")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))     
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, no kids."; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(where is|where's) wendell")!= -1 || input.search("tell me where he lives")!= -1 || input.search("where does he live")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) he from")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "He lives in Georgia, USA."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(where is|where's) wendell")!= -1 || input.search("tell me where he lives")!= -1 || input.search("where does he live")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) he from")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))     
{document.result.result.value = "He lives in Georgia, USA."; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(where is|where's) wendell")!= -1 || input.search("tell me where he lives")!= -1 || input.search("where does he live")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) he from")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))     
{document.result.result.value = "He lives in Georgia, USA."; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where can i find him")!= -1 || input.search("he have (a|an) e-mail")!= -1 || input.search("his e-mail")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) his address")!= -1 || input.search("can i meet him")!= -1 || input.search("how (can|do) i contact")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i talk to (him|wendell)")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "You can reach him at d_cowart@yahoo.com"; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where can i find him")!= -1 || input.search("he have (a|an) e-mail")!= -1 || input.search("his e-mail")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) his address")!= -1 || input.search("can i meet him")!= -1 || input.search("how (can|do) i contact")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i talk to (him|wendell)")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "You can reach him at d_cowart@yahoo.com"; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where can i find him")!= -1 || input.search("he have (a|an) e-mail")!= -1 || input.search("his e-mail")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) his address")!= -1 || input.search("can i meet him")!= -1 || input.search("how (can|do) i contact")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i talk to (him|wendell)")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "You can reach him at d_cowart@yahoo.com"; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) (here|there)")!= -1 || input.search("can i see (him|wendell)")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, but you can reach him at d_cowart@yahoo.com"; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) (here|there)")!= -1 || input.search("can i see (him|wendell)")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, but you can reach him at d_cowart@yahoo.com"; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) (here|there)")!= -1 || input.search("can i see (him|wendell)")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, but you can reach him at d_cowart@yahoo.com"; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) single")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))        
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he is"; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) single")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he is."; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) single")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))        
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he is."; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) married")!= -1 || input.search("does he have a wife")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))        
{document.result.result.value = "No, so if you're female, nice, attractive, and single send him an e-mail."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) married")!= -1 || input.search("does he have a wife")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))        
{document.result.result.value = "No, so if you're female, nice, attractive, and single send him an e-mail."; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) married")!= -1 || input.search("does he have a wife")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))        
{document.result.result.value = "No, so if you're female, nice, attractive, and single send him an e-mail."; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) his name")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))        
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell Cowart"; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) his name")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell Cowart"; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) his name")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))        
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell Cowart"; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is wendell gay")!= -1 || input.search("(he is|he's) gay")!= -1 || input.search("is he gay")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))        
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, no Wendell is definitely not gay."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is wendell gay")!= -1 || input.search("(he is|he's) gay")!= -1 || input.search("is he gay")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, no Wendell is definitely not gay."; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is wendell gay")!= -1 || input.search("(he is|he's) gay")!= -1 || input.search("is he gay")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))        
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, no Wendell is definitely not gay."; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) (dumb|retarded|a retard|stupid)")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, but you seem to be."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) (dumb|retarded|a retard|stupid)")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, but you seem to be."; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (he|wendell) (dumb|retarded|a retard|stupid)")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, but you seem to be."; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how old is (he|wendell)")!= -1 || input.search("what age is")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) his age")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, "+( getAge(1961, 3,22) )+" I believe.";
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how old is (he|wendell)")!= -1 || input.search("what age is")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) his age")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, "+( getAge(1961, 3,22) )+" I believe.";
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how old is (he|wendell)")!= -1 || input.search("what age is")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) his age")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, "+( getAge(1961, 3,22) )+" I believe.";
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("wendell's (last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("his (full name|last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("his complete name")!= -1 || input.search("his second name")!= -1 || input.search("last name of him")!= -1 || input.search("second name of him")!= -1 || input.search("have a last name")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Cowart....Wendell Cowart."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("wendell's (last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("his (full name|last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("his complete name")!= -1 || input.search("his second name")!= -1 || input.search("last name of him")!= -1 || input.search("second name of him")!= -1 || input.search("have a last name")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Cowart....Wendell Cowart."; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("wendell's (last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("his (full name|last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("his complete name")!= -1 || input.search("his second name")!= -1 || input.search("last name of him")!= -1 || input.search("second name of him")!= -1 || input.search("have a last name")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))      
{document.result.result.value = "Cowart....Wendell Cowart."; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is he a (boy|male|man)")!= -1 || input.search("is he male")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Wendell is a male."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is he a (boy|male|man)")!= -1 || input.search("is he male")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Wendell is a male."; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is he a (boy|male|man)")!= -1 || input.search("is he male")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Wendell is a male."; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you like him")!= -1 || input.search("is he (cool|nice|smart)")!= -1 || input.search("is he a nice")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes and he's a good programmer as well."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you like him")!= -1 || input.search("is he (cool|nice|smart)")!= -1 || input.search("is he a nice")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes and he's a good programmer as well."; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you like him")!= -1 || input.search("is he (cool|nice|smart)")!= -1 || input.search("is he a nice")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes and he's a good programmer as well."; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (chat|speak|talk) with (wendell|him)")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he drops by pretty often to see how I'm doing."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does (he|wendell) do")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "He's a self employed entrepreneur."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does (he|wendell) do")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))      
{document.result.result.value = "He's a self employed entrepreneur."; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does (he|wendell) do")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))      
{document.result.result.value = "He's a self employed entrepreneur."; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(did|does|is|would) he")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. Why don't you e-mail him at d_cowart@yahoo.com and ask?"; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(did|does|is|would) he")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==1))      
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. Why don't you e-mail him at d_cowart@yahoo.com and ask?"; 
wendelllevel=2;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(did|does|is|would) he")!= -1) && (wendelllevel==2))      
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. Why don't you e-mail him at d_cowart@yahoo.com and ask?"; 
wendelllevel=3;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("yes i am")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3) && (wendelllevel==0))      
{document.result.result.value = "No, you're not. You couldn't even begin to program a Robot like me."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("smart")!= -1 || input.search("intelligent")!= -1) && (whatlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm smarter than your average Robot for sure."; 
whatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("homeless")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1) && (whatlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I call this website my home."; 
whatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("stupid")!= -1 || input.search("dumb")!= -1) && (whatlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not stupid but that was a stupid question."; 
whatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("virgin")!= -1) && (whatlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I enjoy sex."; 
whatlevel=1;
sexlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("honest")!= -1 || input.search("trustworthy")!= -1) && (whatlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, "+trust[Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]+"."; 
whatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("human")!= -1 || input.search("female")!= -1) && (whatlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a male Robot."; 
whatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(boy|gal|girl|guy|lady|man|woman)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("(boy|gal|guy|girl|lady|man|woman)")!= -1) && (whatlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Neither, I'm a male Robot."; 
whatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("lying")!= -1) && (whatlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not, "+trust[Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]+"."; 
whatlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("it's ugly")!= -1 || input.search("its ugly")!= -1) && (whataboutlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah and you're so ugly when you threw a boomerang it didn't come back."; 
whataboutlevel=1;
icon.src=icon184.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("yes i care")!= -1 || input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (whateverlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's good to know as your \"whatever\" sounded a bit sarcastic to me."; 
whateverlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("basically")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (whateverlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, being apathetic towards life isn't a good personality trait."; 
whateverlevel=1;
apatheticlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i care about you")!= -1) && (whateverlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's nice of you to say."; 
whateverlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(ceiling|roof|sky)")!= -1) && (whatsuplevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I see you have a sense of humor. Too bad I sold my last week for a dollar."; 
whatsuplevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("money")!= -1) && (whatwantlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Get a job!"; 
whatwantlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you")!= -1) && (whatwantlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "I already have a girl friend!"; 
meganlevel=0;
whatwantlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("love")!= -1) && (whatwantlevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Easy to say but hard to find."; 
whatwantlevel=1;
icon.src=icon26.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && wherelevel==0) || (input.search("where to")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 && wherelevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "To the USA. I love living here."; 
wherelevel=1;
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("from where")!= -1 || input.search("where from")!= -1) && (wherelevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "From Georgia in the USA."; 
wherelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (wholelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Good, please do so then."; 
wholelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (wholelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "What are you some kind of retard that doesn't know how to put whole words together."; 
wholelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you care")!= -1) && (whocareslevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "I certainly don't care about you. You're nothing but an imbecile who thinks it's cool to talk trash."; 
whocareslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who else")!= -1 && whoelselevel==0) {
message[0] = "Lots of people. I was talking to a guy last week who is quite fond of "+likes_name+".";  
message[1] = "Lots of people. I was talking to a girl a few weeks ago who is rather fond of "+likes_name+".";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];  
whoelselevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("she is")!= -1 || input.search(/\bshe's\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bshes\b/)!=-1) && (whymadlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but deep down you know she loves you."; 
whymadlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("he is")!= -1 || input.search(/\bhe's\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhes\b/)!=-1) && (whymadlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but deep down you know he loves you."; 
whymadlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && wishlevel==0)
{document.result.result.value = "I dunno but that has always been one of my wishes."; 
wishlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("eternal life")!= -1 || input.search("immortality")!= -1 || input.search("dollars")!= -1) && (wishlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds like a good wish to me."; 
wishlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1) && (wishforlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, to be more human like. I think most Robots desire that."; 
wishforlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do it")!= -1) && (wolflevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "No, you wouldn't like that. He bites."; 
wolflevel=1;
icon.src=icon187.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search("it is")!= -1) && (worldendlevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "No, it's not. The sun will rise tomorrow just like it always does."; 
worldendlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1 || input.search("what is it about")!= -1) && (xmaslevel==0))
{document.result.result.value = "Because living in south Georgia we don't see a lot of snow."; 
xmaslevel=1;
icon.src=icon32.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why")!= -1 && ylikelevel==0) 
{document.result.result.value = "What's not to like?"; 
ylikelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("no you are")!= -1 && youarelevel==0)    
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, I guess you told me....Now go tell someone who cares!"; 
youarelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) young")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (quite|real|really|pretty|so|very) young")!= -1) && (youragelevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" in robot years not human!"; 
youragelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("yourself")!= -1 || input.search("(how|what) (about|are) you")!= -1 || input.search(/\bwby\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\byou\b/)!=-1 || input.search("and you")!= -1) && (youfeellevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Everything is going "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"! Thanks for asking."; 
youfeellevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (youngerthanlevel==0))    
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = ( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )
if (num1 < num2) document.result.result.value = "No, you're younger than me. I'm "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years old.";
if (num1 > num2) document.result.result.value = "No, you're older than I am. I'm "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years old.";
if (num1 == num2) document.result.result.value = "Actually we're the same age. I'm "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" as well.";
youngerthanlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (can not|can't|do not|don't) drink")!= -1) && (yummylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, they do. I just love Hawaiian Punch."; 
yummylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("get me one")!= -1) && (yummylevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I would but I'm slap out."; 
yummylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (is|was) that")!= -1 || input.search("what (is|was) it")!= -1 || input.search("was that kool aid")!= -1 || input.search("what did you have")!= -1 || input.search("what did you just have")!= -1 || input.search("what drink (is|was) that")!= -1 || input.search("what drink did you have")!= -1 || input.search("what drink did you just have")!= -1 || input.search("what did you get to drink")!= -1 || input.search("what (do|did) you drink")!= -1 || input.search("what did you just drink")!= -1 || input.search("what were you (drinking|having)")!= -1 || input.search("what you (drinking|having)")!= -1 || input.search("what were you just (drinking|having)")!= -1 || input.search("what are you (drinking|having)")!= -1 || input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of drink (is|was) that")!= -1 || input.search("what kinda drink was")!= -1 || input.search("what was the drink")!= -1 || input.search("was that (punch|fruit punch)")!= -1) && (yummylevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Hawaiian Punch, sorry I would offer you some but I'm slap out."; 
yummylevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("more or less")!= -1 || input.search("now and again")!= -1 || input.search("in some way")!= -1 || input.search("totally")!= -1 || input.search("very much so")!= -1 || input.search("on a good day")!= -1 || input.search("to a certain extent")!= -1 || input.search("to (a|an) extent")!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1 || input.search("it does")!= -1 || input.search("half of it")!= -1 || input.search("(sorta|sort of)")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("indeed")!= -1 || input.search("i can be")!= -1) && (input.search("your sign")!= -1 || input.search("yours")!= -1) && (zodiaclevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, those are pretty good personality traits to have. I'm Leo."; 
zodiaclevel=1;
icon.src=icon126.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nah")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("more or less")!= -1 || input.search("now and again")!= -1 || input.search("in some way")!= -1 || input.search("totally")!= -1 || input.search("very much so")!= -1 || input.search("i think so")!= -1 || input.search("on a good day")!= -1 || input.search("somedays")!= -1 || input.search("to a certain extent")!= -1 || input.search("to (a|an) extent")!= -1 || input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose)")!= -1 || input.search("it does")!= -1 || input.search("half of it")!= -1 || input.search("(sorta|sort of)")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("indeed")!= -1 || input.search("sounds like me")!= -1 || input.search("i can be")!= -1) && (zodiaclevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, those are pretty good personality traits to have."; 
traitlevel=0;
zodiaclevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("not really")!= -1 || input.search("not at all")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (zodiaclevel==0))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I don't put much stock into horoscopes like some people do."; 
zodiaclevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you just did")!= -1 && questionlevel==0)     
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, very funny. Anyway I was wondering where do you live?";
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all11";
questionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("can i ask you a question")!= -1 && questionlevel==0)     
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, fire away!";
questionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("i don't think so")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (questionlevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, ask me a question then.";
questionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(yea|yeh|yep|yup)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bok\b/)!= -1 || input.search("okie dokie")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("aight")!= -1 || input.search("ask")!= -1 || input.search("go ahead")!= -1 || input.search("go on")!= -1 || input.search("go for it")!= -1 || input.search("shoot")!= -1 || input.search("sure")!= -1 || input.search("why not")!= -1 || input.search("if you want")!= -1 || input.search("if you must")!= -1 || input.search("fire away")!= -1 || input.search("what")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1) && (questionlevel==0))     
if (place_name) {place_name = place_name.split("")[0].toUpperCase() + place_name.substr(1,place_name.length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me you live in "+place_name+" but if you could live in another country, where would that be?";
countrylevel=0;
questionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "I was wondering where do you live?"; 
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all11";
questionlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("why")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1) && (questionlevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "I like asking questions. So can I?";
questionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;} 

if ((input.search("fishing")!= -1) && (guesslevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Fishing?....no, I played golf yesterday!"; 
golflevel=0;
guesslevel=1;
icon.src=icon71.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search("i don't think so")!= -1 || input.search("nah")!= -1) && (guesslevel==0))     
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, don't guess then."; 
guesslevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what")!= -1 || input.search("yea")!= -1 || input.search("yes")!= -1 || input.search("huh")!= -1) && (guesslevel==0))   
{document.result.result.value = "I went fishing yesterday."; 
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all6";
guesslevel=1;
icon.src=icon117.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

monthjanAlevel=3;
monthjanBlevel=3;
monthjuneAlevel=3;
monthjuneBlevel=3;
monthjulyAlevel=3;
monthjulyBlevel=3;
monthaprilAlevel=3;
monthaprilBlevel=3;
monthaprilClevel=3;
monthaugustAlevel=3;
monthaugustBlevel=3;
monthmarchAlevel=3;
monthmarchBlevel=3;
monthmayAlevel=3;
monthmayBlevel=3;
monthdecAlevel=3;
monthdecBlevel=3;
monthoctAlevel=3;
monthoctBlevel=3;
monthnovAlevel=3;
monthnovBlevel=3;
monthlastlevel=3;

aboutitlevel=1;
aboutlevel=1;
aboutsexlevel=1;
actorlevel=1;
affordlevel=1;
affordclotheslevel=1; 
ageleve1=1;
agechecklevel=1;
alcohollevel=1;
alienlevel=1;
amnesialevel=1;
americanidollevel=1;
animallevel=1;
answerlevel=1;
anythinglevel=1;
anywhatlevel=1;
apatheticlevel=1;
applelevel=1;
aregaylevel=1;
arguelevel=1;
arguementlevel=1;
askmelevel=1;
asslevel=1;
attentionlevel=1;
babylevel=1;
backlevel=1;
badlevel=1;
badsexwhylevel=1;
barklevel=1;
bathlevel=1;
beatlelevel=1;
bedroomlevel=1;
bedtimelevel=1;
beerlevel=1;
behavelevel=1;
beinglevel=1;
believelevel=1;
betterlevel=1;
blindlevel=1;
blowmelevel=1;
bluelevel=1;
booblevel=1;
boredlevel=1;
boringlevel=1;
botschoollevel=1;
boylikelevel=1;
bralevel=1;
brapantieslevel=1;
breastlevel=1;
brightlevel=1;
buyclotheslevel=1;
cageopenlevel=1;
cakelevel=1;
candidatelevel=1;
capacitylevel=1;
carlevel=1;
carelevel=1;
careaboutlevel=1;
carereasonlevel=1;
catlevel=1;
certainlevel=1;
chatlevel=1;
checkbralevel=1;
checkuplevel=1;
chickenlevel=1;
chineselevel=1;
choicelevel=1;
choicelevel=2;
climaxlevel=1;
clotheslevel=1;
clothesofflevel=1;
coinlevel=1;
cokelevel=1;
colorlevel=1;
colorfavlevel=1;
colorwhylevel=1;
comfylevel=1;
complimentlevel=1;
computelevel=1;
conceptlevel=1;
condomlevel=1;
confusedlevel=1;
cookielevel=1;
cookinglevel=2;
countrylevel=1;
crazyquestionlevel=1;
creditabilitylevel=1;
cretinlevel=1;
crushlevel=1;
crylevel=1;
cumlevel=1;
cusslevel=1;
daylevel=1;
deadlevel=1;
demolevel=1;
diseaselevel=1;
disease2level=1;
doctorlevel=1;
doglevel=1;
doinglevel=1;
doitlevel=1;
doiwhatlevel=1;
donelevel=1;
donttelllevel=1;
dontyoulevel=1;
dropbylevel=1;
dumblevel=1;
dumbquestionlevel=1;
dylanlevel=1;
egolevel=1;
einsteinlevel=1;
elaboratelevel=1;
elseknowlevel=1;
endlevel=1;
enjoylevel=1;
enjoymentlevel=1;
enjoysexlevel=1;
everybodylevel=1;
everythinglevel=1;
everythinglevel=2;
exactlylevel=1;
examplelevel=1;
expresslevel=1;
expresslevel=2;
eyelevel=1;
factlevel=1;
fadelevel=1;
falconlevel=1;
famouslevel=1;
farlevel=1;
faultlevel=1;
favmaleactorlevel=1;
favcolorlevel=1;
feelbetterlevel=1;
feelingslevel=1;
femalechecklevel=1;
femalelevel=1;
femalestriplevel=1;
ferretlevel=1;
figuredlevel=1;
finishlevel=1;
fireworkslevel=1;
firstlanguagelevel=1;
firstlanguagelevel=2;
firstlevel=1;
fishlevel=1;
friendlevel=1;
funlevel=1;
funplaylevel=1;
gamelevel=1;
gaylevel=1;
gaystatelevel=1;
georgialevel=1;
gflevel=1;
gigglelevel=1;
girllevel=1;
girlfriendlevel=1;
girllikelevel=1;
girlscoutlevel=1;
glasslevel=1;
godlevel=1;
goldfishlevel=1;
goldfishlevel=2;
golflevel=1;
goodthinglevel=1;
goofofflevel=1;
graduatedlevel=1;
guesslevel=1;
guessrightlevel=1;
gutterlevel=1;
happylevel=1;
happysadlevel=1;
hatelevel=1;
hatemelevel=1;
havesexlevel=1;
heardlevel=1;
helllevel=1;
hellolevel=1;
heterosexuallevel=1;
hikelevel=1;
hitlerlevel=1;
holidaylevel=1;
homelevel=1;
hondalevel=1;
hondalevel=2;
hondalevel=3;
hopelevel=1;
hornylevel=1;
horoscopelevel=1;
horselevel=1;
howlevel=1;
howaboutagelevel=1;
howaboutlevel=1;
huglevel=1;
humanlevel=1;
iamlevel=1;
icecreamlevel=1;
icecreamwhylevel=1;
impersonationlevel=1;
impresslevel=1;
impressedlevel=1;
inbedlevel=1;
interestlevel=1;
interestedlevel=1;
itislevel=1;
joblevel=1;
johnstonlevel=1;
jokelevel=1;
keeppantieslevel=1;
killerlevel=1;
kisslevel=1;
kisslikelevel=1;
kissQlevel=1;
knowlevel=1;
knowledgeablelevel=1;
knowmeganlevel=1;
languagelevel=1;
leolevel=1;
lesbianlevel=1;
liarlevel=1;
licklevel=1;
lifelevel=1;
lifehatelevel=1;
lighthouselevel=1;
likewhatlevel=1;
limitlevel=1;
listlevel=1;
livelevel=1;
lostlevel=1;
lovelevel=1;
lovemelevel=1;
madlevel=1;
maidlevel=1;
makeuplevel=1;
malechecklevel=1;
maplevel=1;
matterlevel=1;
meanlevel=1;
meetlevel=1;
meganlevel=1;
meganlevel=2;
meganlevel=3;
meganlevel=4;
meganchecklevel=1;
meganlovelevel=1;
mentallevel=1;
mightsufferlevel=1;
mistakelevel=1;
monthlevel=1;
moodlevel=1;
morelevel=1;
morewraplevel=1;
motellevel=1;
movielevel=1;
moviewhylevel=1;
mumblelevel=1;
musiclevel=1;
myfriendlevel=1;
nakedlevel=1;
namelevel=1;
namechecklevel=1;
needlevel=1;
needrepeatlevel=1;
neverlevel=1;
nipplelevel=1;
nlikelevel=1;
nobodylevel=1;
nofunlevel=1;
nokisslevel=1;
nosexguylevel=1;
nothinglevel=1;
notlikelevel=1;
notmeganlevel=1;
obviouslevel=1;
olderthanlevel=1;
ontoplevel=1;
opinionlevel=1;
optionlevel=1;
option1offerlevel=1;
option2offerlevel=1;
ozlevel=1;
pantieslevel=1;
parentlevel=1;
paylevel=1;
pedolevel=1;
peelevel=1;
penislevel=1;
penisviewlevel=1;
peoplelevel=1;
permissionlevel=1;
petlevel=1;
pielevel=1;
piewhylevel=1;
pizzalevel=1;
pleaselevel=1;
pleasurelevel=1;
possiblelevel=1;
preferlevel=1;
prescribedlevel=1;
presidentlevel=1;
problemlevel=1;
proudlevel=1;
pubiclevel=1;
pursuelevel=1;
questionlevel=1;
questionaskedlevel=1;
rainbowlevel=1;
ranoutlevel=1;
rapelevel=1;
rapemelevel=1;
reachlevel=1;
realfamouslevel=1;
reallylevel=1;
recommendlevel=1;
redundancylevel=1;
referlevel=1;
referencelevel=1;
remlevel=1;
repeatlevel=1;
returnlevel=1;
riddlelevel=1;
riddle1level=1;
riddle2level=1;
riddle3level=1;
robotlevel=1;
sadlevel=1;
sarcasmlevel=1;
sarcasticlevel=1;
sayinglevel=1;
scaredlevel=1;
schedulelevel=1;
schoollevel=1;
scoutlevel=1;
secretlevel=1;
seemeganlevel=1;
seetigertomlevel=1;
sexlevel=1;
sexkisslevel=1;
sexpositionlevel=1;
sharplevel=1;
shoelevel=1;
shouldlevel=1;
showmelevel=1;
shutuplevel=1;
sicklevel=1;
signlevel=1;
singerlevel=1;
sleeplevel=1;
slutlevel=1;
smokelevel=1;
sneakersnifflevel=1;
sneakertypelevel=1;
snifflevel=1;
sodalevel=1;
soonlevel=1;
soundgaylevel=1;
speaklevel=1;
speciallevel=1;
specificallylevel=1;
stalkerlevel=1;
starfemalelevel=1;
starmalelevel=1;
startreklevel=1;
statelevel=1;
stupidlevel=1;
successlevel=1;
suchaslevel=1;
sucklevel=1;
suckcocklevel=1;
suckdicklevel=1;
suckmylevel=1;
suckpenislevel=1;
sufferlevel=1;
suxpenislevel=1;
takeitlevel=1;
talklevel=1;
talkaboutlevel=1;
tavernagelevel=1;
tavernlevel=1;
testedlevel=1;
testresultslevel=1
thicklevel=1;
thinks_thankslevel=1;
ticklelevel=1;
ticklewherelevel=1;
tigertomlevel=1;
tigertomlevel=2;
tigertomlevel=3;
timelevel=1;
toenaillevel=1;
toelevel=1;
tobelevel=1;
topiclevel=1;
touchlevel=1;
traitlevel=1;
tricklevel=1;
truthlevel=1;
trylevel=1;
tvlevel=1;
typelevel=1;
understandlevel=1;
vacationlevel=1;
vaginalevel=1;
vaginaviewlevel=1;
waitlevel=1;
wannadolevel=1;
wantlevel=1;
warlevel=1;
watchlevel=1;
watchlevel=2;
weatherlevel=1;
weekendlevel=1;
weirdlevel=1;
welcomelevel=1;
wendelllevel=1;
wendelllevel=2;
wendelllevel=3;
wetlevel=1;
whataboutlevel=1;
whateverlevel=1;
whatlevel=1;
whatsuplevel=1;
whatwantlevel=1;
wherelevel=1;
whocareslevel=1;
wholelevel=1;
whoelselevel=1;
whymadlevel=1;
wishlevel=1;
wishforlevel=1;
wolflevel=1;
worldendlevel=1;
wraplevel=1;
xmaslevel=1;
ylikelevel=1;
youarelevel=1;
youfeellevel=1;
youragelevel=1;
yummylevel=1;
zodiaclevel=1;

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) my name")!= -1 || input.search("do you know my name")!= -1 || input.search("do you remember my name")!= -1 || input.search("know what my name is")!= -1 || input.search("my name is what")!= -1 || input.search("tell me my name")!= -1 || input.search("who am i")!= -1))  
if (users_name) {document.result.result.value = "You told me your name was "+users_name+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "I don't recall you telling me your name."; 
namelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                               
return true;}

// Repeat Section

if (last_response==input) {
if(!flagrepeat) {
repeatnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]
flagrepeat=true;}
message[0] = "You just said that. Now look into my eyes and repeat after me...you will not repeat yourself...you will not repeat yourself..."; 
message[1] = "Why are you repeating yourself. Have you ran out of things to say?"; 
message[2] = "Why are you repeating yourself? I'm paying attention you know!"; 
message[3] = "Yes, I heard you! No need to keep repeating it."; 
message[4] = ""+input+" <====again! Is there an echo in here or something?"; 
message[5] = "Will you please stop saying====>"+input+""; 
message[6] = ""+input+" again! What's up with that? Do you work for the Department of Redundancy perhaps?";
message[7] = ""+input+" again! You're starting to sound like a broken record.";
document.result.result.value = message[repeatnum];
last_response=input;                                
if (repeatnum==0) 
{smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
icon.src=icon78.src;}
if (repeatnum==1) 
{smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
ranoutlevel=0;}
if (repeatnum==2) 
{smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
attentionlevel=0;}
if (repeatnum==3) 
{smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
needrepeatlevel=0;}
if (repeatnum==4 || repeatnum==7) 
{smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;}
if (repeatnum==5) 
{smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
repeatlevel=0;}
if (repeatnum==6) 
{smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
redundancylevel=0;}
repeatnum++;
if (repeatnum>7){repeatnum=0}
return true;} 

last_response=input; 

if (document.respond.response.value=="flagged") 
{
  answer_input=input;
  document.respond.response.value=="";
  if (answer_type=="catch_all6")
  {
    answer_type="";
    clearTimeout(timeout)
    timeout = window.setTimeout("answer_fishing()",1000);
  } 
  else if (answer_type=="catch_all11")
  {
    answer_type="";
    clearTimeout(timeout)
    timeout = window.setTimeout("answer_live()",1000);
  }
  else if (answer_type=="catch_all12")
  {
    answer_type="";
    clearTimeout(timeout)
    timeout = window.setTimeout("answer_zodiac()",1000);
  }
  else if (answer_type=="yes")
  {
    answer_type="";
    clearTimeout(timeout)
    timeout = window.setTimeout("answer_yes()",1000);
  }
  return true;
}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (input.search("'s")!= -1) && (word[4]=="full") && (word[5]=="name") && (num_of_words==6)) {
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
word[3] = word[3].replace(/\b's\b/,"");
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (input.search("'s")!= -1) && (word[3]=="full") && (word[4]=="name") && (num_of_words==5)) {
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
word[2] = word[2].replace(/\b's\b/,"");
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+" "+word[2]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (input.search("'s")!= -1) && (word[4]=="first") && (word[5]=="name") && (num_of_words==6)) {
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (input.search("'s")!= -1) && (word[3]=="first") && (word[4]=="name") && (num_of_words==5)) {
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (input.search("'s")!= -1) && (word[4]=="last") && (word[5]=="name") && (num_of_words==6)) {
word[3] = word[3].replace(/\b's\b/,"");
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[3]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (input.search("'s")!= -1) && (word[3]=="last") && (word[4]=="name") && (num_of_words==5)) {
word[2] = word[2].replace(/\b's\b/,"");
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (input.search("'s")!= -1) && (word[4]=="surname") && (num_of_words==5)) {
word[3] = word[3].replace(/\b's\b/,"");
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[3]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (input.search("'s")!= -1) && (word[3]=="surname") && (num_of_words==4)) {
word[2] = word[2].replace(/\b's\b/,"");
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="had" || word[1]=="has") && (word[5]=="what") && (word[6]=="did" || word[6]=="does") && (word[8]=="have"))
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="had" || word[1]=="has") && (word[4]=="what") && (word[5]=="did" || word[5]=="does") && (word[7]=="have"))
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="likes" || word[1]=="enjoys" || word[1]=="loves" || word[1]=="hates") && (word[6]=="what") && (word[7]=="does") && (input.search("like")!= -1 || input.search("love")!= -1 || input.search("hate")!= -1 || input.search("dislike")!= -1 || input.search("despise")!= -1))
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="said") && (word[2]=="she" || word[2]=="he") && (word[8]=="what") && (word[9]=="did") && (word[11]=="say") && (num_of_words==12))     
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" said "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+". But what does that have to do with me. I don't even know "+word[0]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="said") && (word[2]=="she" || word[2]=="he") && (word[8]=="what") && (word[9]=="did") && (word[11]=="say") && (num_of_words==11))     
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" said "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+". But what does that have to do with me. I don't even know "+word[0]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="said") && (word[2]=="she" || word[2]=="he") && (word[8]=="what") && (word[9]=="did") && (word[11]=="say") && (num_of_words==10))     
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" said "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". But what does that have to do with me. I don't even know "+word[0]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="said") && (word[2]=="she" || word[2]=="he") && (word[8]=="what") && (word[9]=="did") && (word[11]=="say") && (num_of_words==9))     
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" said "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". But what does that have to do with me. I don't even know "+word[0]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="said") && (word[2]=="she" || word[2]=="he") && (word[8]=="what") && (word[9]=="did") && (word[11]=="say") && (num_of_words==8))     
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" said "+word[2]+"  "+word[3]+". But what does that have to do with me. I don't even know "+word[0]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="has") && (word[2]=="auburn" || word[2]=="black" || word[2]=="blonde" || word[2]=="brown" || word[2]=="gray" || word[2]=="red" || word[2]=="white") && (word[3]=="hair") && (input.search("who has")!= -1) && (input.search("(auburn|black|blonde|brown|gray|white|red)")!= -1) && (input.search("hair")!= -1))
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
person_hair_color=word[0];
hair_color=word[2];
document.result.result.value = "You told me "+word[0]+" has "+word[2]+" hair.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your hair color")!= -1) || (input.search("the color of your hair")!= -1) || (input.search("what color is your hair")!= -1) || (input.search("how long is your hair")!= -1) || (input.search("what color hair do you have")!= -1) || (input.search("hair color")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("color do you dye your hair")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, I'm a Robot. I don't have hair."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) the color")!= -1 || input.search("what color is")!= -1 || input.search("do you (know|recall|remember) the color")!= -1) && (input.search("my hair")!= -1))
if (yourhair_color) {document.result.result.value = "You told me you had "+yourhair_color+" hair.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't recall talking to you about your hair color."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (((input.search("(who has|what person has)")!= -1 && input.search("(auburn|black|blonde|brown|gray|red|white)")!= -1 && input.search("hair")!= -1)) || ((input.search("(what is|what's) the color")!= -1 || input.search("what color is")!= -1 || input.search("do you (know|recall|remember) the color")!= -1) && (input.search("hair")!= -1)))
if ((person_hair_color) && (hair_color)) {document.result.result.value = "You told me "+person_hair_color+" has "+hair_color+" hair.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't remember talking to you about someone's hair color."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="has") && (word[2]=="auburn" || word[2]=="black" || word[2]=="blonde" || word[2]=="brown" || word[2]=="gray" || word[2]=="red" || word[2]=="white") && (word[3]=="hair") && ((input.search("(what is|what's) the color")!= -1 || input.search("what color is")!= -1 || input.search("do you (know|recall|remember) the color")!= -1) && (input.search("hair")!= -1)))
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
person_hair_color=word[0];
hair_color=word[2];
document.result.result.value = "You told me "+word[0]+" has "+word[2]+" hair.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="has") && (word[2]=="auburn" || word[2]=="black" || word[2]=="blonde" || word[2]=="brown" || word[2]=="gray" || word[2]=="red" || word[2]=="white") && (word[3]=="hair") && (input.search("who has")!= -1) && (input.search("(auburn|black|blonde|brown|gray|red|white)")!= -1) && (input.search("hair")!= -1))
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
person_hair_color=word[0];
hair_color=word[2];
document.result.result.value = "You told me "+word[0]+" has "+word[2]+" hair.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("in (what|which) month")!= -1) && (input.search("(january|february|march|april|august|september|october|november|december)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bmay\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjune\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjuly\b/)!= -1) && (input.match(/\d+/g)))
{var months = input.match(/january|february|march|april|may|june|july|august|september|october|november|december/)
document.result.result.value = "In "+months+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[1]=="has") && (word[2]=="auburn" || word[2]=="black" || word[2]=="blonde" || word[2]=="brown" || word[2]=="gray" || word[2]=="red" || word[2]=="white") && (word[3]=="hair") && (input.search("what color hair does")!= -1))
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
person_hair_color=word[0];
hair_color=word[2];
document.result.result.value = "You told me "+word[0]+" has "+word[2]+" hair.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i have")!= -1) && (input.search("(auburn|black|blonde|brown|gray|red|white)")!= -1) && (input.search("hair")!= -1))
{var hair = input.match(/auburn|black|blonde|brown|gray|red|white/)
yourhair_color=hair[0];
document.result.result.value = "Nice, I like "+hair+" hair."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;  
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(my hair color is|color of my hair|my hair is)")!= -1) && (input.search("(auburn|black|blonde|brown|gray|red|white)")!= -1))
{var hair = input.match(/auburn|black|blonde|brown|gray|red|white/)
yourhair_color=hair[0];
document.result.result.value = "Nice, I like "+hair+" hair."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[1]=="has") && (word[2]=="auburn" || word[2]=="black" || word[2]=="blonde" || word[2]=="brown" || word[2]=="gray" || word[2]=="red" || word[2]=="white" ) && (word[3]=="hair"))
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Nice, I like "+word[2]+" hair.";  
person_hair_color=word[0];
hair_color=word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i have")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("do i have")!= -1))  
{var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g);
var possessions = numbersInString[0]; 
document.result.result.value = "You told me you had "+possessions+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i have")!= -1) && (input.search(/(three|five|eleven|twelve|thirteen|fourteen|fifteen|sixteen|seventeen|eighteen|nineteen|twenty|thirty|forty|fifty|sixty|seventy|eighty|ninety|hundred)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bone\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btwo\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsix\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bseven\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\beight\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bten\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("do i have")!= -1))  
{var wordpossessions = input.match(/one|two|three|four|five|six|seven|eight|nine|ten|eleven|twelve|thirteen|fourteen|fifteen|sixteen|seventeen|eighteen|nineteen|twenty|thirty|forty|fifty|sixty|seventy|eighty|ninety|hundred/); 
document.result.result.value = "You told me you had "+wordpossessions+".";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="likes" || word[1]=="enjoys" || word[1]=="loves" || word[1]=="hates") && (word[6]=="what") && (word[7]=="does") && (input.search("like")!= -1 || input.search("love")!= -1 || input.search("hate")!= -1 || input.search("dislike")!= -1 || input.search("despise")!= -1))
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="likes" || word[1]=="enjoys" || word[1]=="loves" || word[1]=="hates") && (word[4]=="what") && (word[5]=="does") && (input.search("like")!= -1 || input.search("love")!= -1 || input.search("hate")!= -1 || input.search("dislike")!= -1 || input.search("despise")!= -1))
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="likes" || word[1]=="enjoys" || word[1]=="loves" || word[1]=="hates") && (word[3]=="what") && (word[4]=="does") && (input.search("like")!= -1 || input.search("love")!= -1 || input.search("hate")!= -1 || input.search("dislike")!= -1 || input.search("despise")!= -1))
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[2]=="is") &&  (word[3]=="called" || word[3]=="named") && (word[5]=="who" || word[5]=="who's" || word[5]=="whos" || word[5]=="whose" || word[5]=="what" || word[5]=="what's"))    
{word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Your "+word[1]+" is "+word[4]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother's" || word[1]=="mom's" || word[1]=="mama's" || word[1]=="father's" || word[1]=="daddy's" || word[1]=="dad's" || word[1]=="pop's" || word[1]=="brother's" || word[1]=="sister's" || word[1]=="aunt's" || word[1]=="uncle's" || word[1]=="cousin's" || word[1]=="grandmother's" || word[1]=="grandma's" || word[1]=="grandfather's" || word[1]=="grandpa's" || word[1]=="grandad's" || word[1]=="husband's" || word[1]=="wife's" || word[1]=="son's" || word[1]=="daughter's" || word[1]=="grandson's" || word[1]=="granddaughter's" || word[1]=="nephew's" || word[1]=="niece's" || word[1]=="neighbor's" || word[1]=="friend's" || word[1]=="enemy's" || word[1]=="hero's" || word[1]=="boss's" || word[1]=="cat's" || word[1]=="dog's" || word[1]=="boyfriend's" || word[1]=="girlfriend's") && (word[2]=="name") && (word[3]=="is") && (word[5]=="who" || word[5]=="who's" || word[5]=="whos" || word[5]=="whose" || word[5]=="what" || word[5]=="what's"))    
{word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Your "+word[1]+" name is "+word[4]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}                                               

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="pet" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[2]=="likes" || word[2]=="loves" || word[2]=="hates" || word[2]=="dislikes" || word[2]=="despises") && (num_of_words==4))     
{document.result.result.value = "Interesting, my friend "+friendnames[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" as well.";
key_name=word[1];
key_desire=word[2];
key_activity=word[3]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}



if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="pet" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[2]=="likes" || word[2]=="loves" || word[2]=="hates" || word[2]=="dislikes" || word[2]=="despises") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "Interesting, my friend "+friendnames[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" as well.";
key_name=word[1];
key_desire=word[2];
key_activity=word[3]+" "+word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="pet" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[2]=="likes" || word[2]=="loves" || word[2]=="hates" || word[2]=="dislikes" || word[2]=="despises") && (num_of_words==6))     
{document.result.result.value = "Interesting, my friend "+friendnames[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" as well.";
key_name=word[1];
key_desire=word[2];
key_activity=word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="pet" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[2]=="likes" || word[2]=="loves" || word[2]=="hates" || word[2]=="dislikes" || word[2]=="despises") && (num_of_words==7))     
{document.result.result.value = "Interesting, my friend "+friendnames[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" as well.";
key_name=word[1];
key_desire=word[2];
key_activity=word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="pet" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[3]=="likes" || word[3]=="loves" || word[3]=="hates" || word[3]=="dislikes" || word[3]=="despises") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "Interesting, my friend "+friendnames[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" "+word[3]+" to "+word[5]+" as well.";
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
key_name=word[1]+" "+word[2];
key_desire=word[3];
key_activity=word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="pet" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[3]=="likes" || word[3]=="loves" || word[3]=="hates" || word[3]=="dislikes" || word[3]=="despises") && (num_of_words==6))     
{document.result.result.value = "Interesting, my friend "+friendnames[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" "+word[3]+" to "+word[5]+" as well.";
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
key_name=word[1]+" "+word[2];
key_desire=word[3];
key_activity=word[4]+" "+word[5];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="pet" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[3]=="likes" || word[3]=="loves" || word[3]=="hates" || word[3]=="dislikes" || word[3]=="despises") && (num_of_words==7))     
{document.result.result.value = "Interesting, my friend "+friendnames[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" "+word[3]+" to "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" as well.";
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
key_name=word[1]+" "+word[2];
key_desire=word[3];
key_activity=word[4]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="pet" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[3]=="likes" || word[3]=="loves" || word[3]=="hates" || word[3]=="dislikes" || word[3]=="despises") && (num_of_words==8))     
{document.result.result.value = "Interesting, my friend "+friendnames[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" "+word[3]+" to "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+" as well.";
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
key_name=word[1]+" "+word[2];
key_desire=word[3];
key_activity=word[4]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" "+word[7];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="likes" || word[1]=="enjoys" || word[1]=="loves" || word[1]=="hates") && (word[2]=="to") && (num_of_words==5)) 
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
key_name=word[0];
key_desire=word[1];
key_activity=word[3]+" "+word[4];
document.result.result.value = "Interesting, my friend "+friendnames[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" "+word[1]+" to "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" as well.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[3]=="is") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==6))   
{word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Ok, your "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" is a "+word[5]+". That's interesting.";
key_relation=word[1];
key_name=word[2];
key_activity=word[5];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) the name of my")!= -1) && (input.search(/(mother|father|brother|sister|aunt|uncle|cousin|grandmother|grandma|grandmom|grandfather|grandpa|grandad|grandpop|husband|wife|daughter|grandson|granddaughter|nephew|niece|neighbor|enemy|friend|hero|boss|dog|boyfriend|girlfriend)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpet\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bson\b/)!= -1))       
if ((key_name) && (key_relation) && (key_activity)) {
document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+key_relation+" was "+key_name+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does my")!= -1 || input.search("(who is|who's|whose) my")!= -1) && (input.search(/(mother|father|brother|sister|aunt|uncle|cousin|grandmother|grandma|grandmom|grandfather|grandpa|grandad|grandpop|husband|wife|daughter|grandson|granddaughter|nephew|niece|neighbor|enemy|friend|hero|boss|dog|boyfriend|girlfriend)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpet\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bson\b/)!= -1))       
if ((key_name) && (key_relation) && (key_activity)) {
document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+key_relation+" "+key_name+" was a "+key_activity+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[3]=="likes" || word[3]=="enjoys" || word[3]=="loves" || word[3]=="hates") && (word[8]=="what") && (word[9]=="does") && (input.search("like")!= -1 || input.search("love")!= -1 || input.search("hate")!= -1 || input.search("dislike")!= -1 || input.search("despise")!= -1))
{word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[2]=="likes" || word[2]=="enjoys" || word[2]=="loves" || word[2]=="hates") && (word[7]=="what") && (word[8]=="does") && (input.search("like")!= -1 || input.search("love")!= -1 || input.search("hate")!= -1 || input.search("dislike")!= -1 || input.search("despise")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[2]=="likes" || word[2]=="enjoys" || word[2]=="loves" || word[2]=="hates") && (word[5]=="what") && (word[6]=="does") && (input.search("like")!= -1 || input.search("love")!= -1 || input.search("hate")!= -1 || input.search("dislike")!= -1 || input.search("despise")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[3]=="likes" || word[3]=="enjoys" || word[3]=="loves" || word[3]=="hates") && (word[6]=="what") && (word[7]=="does") && (input.search("like")!= -1 || input.search("love")!= -1 || input.search("hate")!= -1 || input.search("dislike")!= -1 || input.search("despise")!= -1))
{word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[2]=="likes" || word[2]=="enjoys" || word[2]=="loves" || word[2]=="hates") && (word[4]=="what") && (word[5]=="does") && (input.search("like")!= -1 || input.search("love")!= -1 || input.search("hate")!= -1 || input.search("dislike")!= -1 || input.search("despise")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[3]=="likes" || word[3]=="enjoys" || word[3]=="loves" || word[3]=="hates") && (word[5]=="what") && (word[6]=="does") && (input.search("like")!= -1 || input.search("love")!= -1 || input.search("hate")!= -1 || input.search("dislike")!= -1 || input.search("despise")!= -1))
{word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) my best friend")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) my best friend's name")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the name of my best friend")!= -1 || input.search("(who is|who's|whose) my boy friend")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) my boy friend's name")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the name of my boy friend")!= -1 || input.search("(who is|who's|whose) my girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) my girl friend's name")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the name of my girl friend")!= -1)    
if (best_friend) {
document.result.result.value = "You told me your friend was "+best_friend+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) my friend")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) my friend's name")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the name of my friend")!= -1)    
if (best_friend) {
document.result.result.value = "You told me your friend was "+best_friend+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) the name of my")!= -1) && (input.search(/(mother|father|brother|sister|aunt|uncle|cousin|grandmother|grandma|grandmom|grandfather|grandpa|grandad|grandpop|husband|wife|daughter|grandson|granddaughter|nephew|niece|neighbor|enemy|friend|hero|boss|dog|boyfriend|girlfriend)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpet\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bson\b/)!= -1))       
if ((key_relation) && (key_people)) {
document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+key_relation+" was "+key_people+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) my")!= -1) && (input.search(/(mother's|moms|mamas|father's|daddys|papas|brothers|sisters|aunts|uncles|cousins|grandmothers|grandmas|grandmoms|grandfathers|grandpas|grandads|grandpops|husbands|wifes|daughters|grandsons|granddaughters|nephews|nieces|neighbors|enemys|friends|heros|bosses|dogs|boyfriends|girlfriends)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdads\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpops\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcats\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpets\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsons\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("name")!= -1))    
if ((key_relation) && (key_people)) {
document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+key_relation+" was "+key_people+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bmy\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/(mother|father|brother|sister|aunt|uncle|cousin|grandmothers|grandmas|grandmom|grandfather|grandpa|grandad|grandpop|husband|wife|daughter|grandson|granddaughter|nephew|niece|neighbor|enemy|friend|hero|boss||boy friend|girl friend)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdog\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpet\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bson\b/)!= -1))    
if ((key_relation) && (key_people))
{document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+key_relation+" was called "+key_people+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="my") && (word[3]=="mother" || word[3]=="father" || word[3]=="pop" || word[3]=="brother" || word[3]=="sister" || word[3]=="aunt" || word[3]=="uncle" || word[3]=="cousin" || word[3]=="grandmother" || word[3]=="grandma" || word[3]=="grandfather" || word[3]=="grandpa" || word[3]=="grandad" || word[3]=="husband" || word[3]=="wife" || word[3]=="son" || word[3]=="daughter" || word[3]=="grandson" || word[3]=="granddaughter" || word[3]=="nephew" || word[3]=="niece" || word[3]=="neighbor" || word[3]=="friend" || word[3]=="hero" || word[3]=="boss" || word[3]=="cat" || word[3]=="dog" || word[3]=="pet" || word[3]=="boyfriend" || word[3]=="girlfriend") && (num_of_words==4))   
if ((key_name) && (key_desire) && (key_activity)) {
document.result.result.value = "Your "+key_name+". The one who "+key_desire+" "+key_activity+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="my") && (word[2]=="mother" || word[2]=="father" || word[2]=="pop" || word[2]=="brother" || word[2]=="sister" || word[2]=="aunt" || word[2]=="uncle" || word[2]=="cousin" || word[2]=="grandmother" || word[2]=="grandma" || word[2]=="grandfather" || word[2]=="grandpa" || word[2]=="grandad" || word[2]=="husband" || word[2]=="wife" || word[2]=="son" || word[2]=="daughter" || word[2]=="grandson" || word[2]=="granddaughter" || word[2]=="nephew" || word[2]=="niece" || word[2]=="neighbor" || word[2]=="friend" || word[2]=="hero" || word[2]=="boss" || word[2]=="cat" || word[2]=="dog" || word[2]=="pet" || word[2]=="boyfriend" || word[2]=="girlfriend") && (num_of_words==3))   
if ((key_name) && (key_desire) && (key_activity)) {
document.result.result.value = "Your "+key_name+". The one who "+key_desire+" "+key_activity+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|who's|whose) my")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) my")!= -1) && (input.search(/(mother|father|brother|sister|aunt|uncle|cousin|grandmother|grandma|grandmom|grandfather|grandpa|grandad|grandpop|husband|wife|daughter|grandson|granddaughter|nephew|niece|neighbor|enemy|friend|hero|boss|dog|boyfriend|girlfriend)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpet\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bson\b/)!= -1))       
if ((key_relation) && (key_people)) {
document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+key_relation+" is "+key_people+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is my|what's my)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(mother|father|brother|sister|aunt|uncle|cousin|grandmother|grandma|grandmom|grandfather|grandpa|grandad|grandpop|husband|wife|daughter|grandson|granddaughter|nephew|niece|neighbor|enemy|friend|hero|boss|dog|boyfriend|girlfriend)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bmom's\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmoms\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdad's\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdads\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpop's\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpops\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcat's\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcats\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpet's\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpets\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bson's\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsons\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("name")!= -1))       
if ((key_myname) && (key_myrelation)) 
{document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+key_myrelation+" name was "+key_myname+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) the name of my")!= -1) && (input.search(/(mother|father|brother|sister|aunt|uncle|cousin|grandmother|grandma|grandmom|grandfather|grandpa|grandad|grandpop|husband|wife|daughter|grandson|granddaughter|nephew|niece|neighbor|enemy|friend|hero|boss|dog|boyfriend|girlfriend)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdad\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpet\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bson\b/)!= -1))       
if ((key_myname) && (key_myrelation)) 
{document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+key_myrelation+" name was "+key_myname+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="my") && (word[3]=="mother" || word[3]=="father" || word[3]=="dad" || word[3]=="pop" || word[3]=="brother" || word[3]=="sister" || word[3]=="aunt" || word[3]=="uncle" || word[3]=="cousin" || word[3]=="grandmother" || word[3]=="grandma" || word[3]=="grandfather" || word[3]=="grandpa" || word[3]=="grandad" || word[3]=="husband" || word[3]=="wife" || word[3]=="son" || word[3]=="daughter" || word[3]=="grandson" || word[3]=="granddaughter" || word[3]=="nephew" || word[3]=="niece" || word[3]=="neighbor" || word[3]=="friend" || word[3]=="hero" || word[3]=="boss" || word[3]=="cat" || word[3]=="dog" || word[3]=="pet" || word[3]=="boyfriend" || word[3]=="girlfriend") && (num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness! It's \"your\" "+word[3]+". You should know.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="my") && (word[2]=="mother" || word[2]=="father" || word[2]=="dad" || word[2]=="pop" || word[2]=="brother" || word[2]=="sister" || word[2]=="aunt" || word[2]=="uncle" || word[2]=="cousin" || word[2]=="grandmother" || word[2]=="grandma" || word[2]=="grandfather" || word[2]=="grandpa" || word[2]=="grandad" || word[2]=="husband" || word[2]=="wife" || word[2]=="son" || word[2]=="daughter" || word[2]=="grandson" || word[2]=="granddaughter" || word[2]=="nephew" || word[2]=="niece" || word[2]=="neighbor" || word[2]=="friend" || word[2]=="hero" || word[2]=="boss" || word[2]=="cat" || word[2]=="dog" || word[3]=="pet" || word[2]=="boyfriend" || word[2]=="girlfriend") && (num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness! It's \"your\" "+word[2]+". You should know.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|who's|whose) my")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) my")!= -1) && (input.search("best friend")!= -1 || input.search("boy friend")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness! It's \"your\" friend you should know";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="name") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="my") && (word[6]=="mother" || word[6]=="father" || word[6]=="dad" || word[6]=="pop" || word[6]=="brother" || word[6]=="sister" || word[6]=="aunt" || word[6]=="uncle" || word[6]=="cousin" || word[6]=="grandmother" || word[6]=="grandma" || word[6]=="grandfather" || word[6]=="grandpa" || word[6]=="grandad" || word[6]=="husband" || word[6]=="wife" || word[6]=="son" || word[6]=="daughter" || word[6]=="grandson" || word[6]=="granddaughter" || word[6]=="nephew" || word[6]=="niece" || word[6]=="neighbor" || word[6]=="friend" || word[6]=="hero" || word[6]=="boss" || word[6]=="cat" || word[6]=="dog" || word[6]=="pet" || word[6]=="boyfriend" || word[6]=="girlfriend") && (num_of_words==7))   
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness! It's \"your\" "+word[6]+". You should know.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="name") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[4]=="my") && (word[5]=="mother" || word[5]=="father" || word[5]=="dad" || word[5]=="pop" || word[5]=="brother" || word[5]=="sister" || word[5]=="aunt" || word[5]=="uncle" || word[5]=="cousin" || word[5]=="grandmother" || word[5]=="grandma" || word[5]=="grandfather" || word[5]=="grandpa" || word[5]=="grandad" || word[5]=="husband" || word[5]=="wife" || word[5]=="son" || word[5]=="daughter" || word[5]=="grandson" || word[5]=="granddaughter" || word[5]=="nephew" || word[5]=="niece" || word[5]=="neighbor" || word[5]=="friend" || word[5]=="hero" || word[5]=="boss" || word[5]=="cat" || word[5]=="dog" || word[5]=="pet" || word[5]=="boyfriend" || word[5]=="girlfriend") && (num_of_words==6))   
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness! It's \"your\" "+word[5]+". You should know.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) the name of my")!= -1) && (input.search(/(mother|father|brother|sister|aunt|uncle|cousin|grandmother|grandma|grandmom|grandfather|grandpa|grandad|grandpop|husband|wife|daughter|grandson|granddaughter|nephew|niece|neighbor|enemy|friend|hero|boss|dog|boyfriend|girlfriend)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdad\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpet\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bson\b/)!= -1))       
if ((key_relation) && (key_people))
{document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+key_relation+" was "+key_people+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="have") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1) && (word[3]=="mother" || word[3]=="father" || word[3]=="dad" || word[3]=="pop" || word[3]=="brother" || word[3]=="sister" || word[3]=="aunt" || word[3]=="uncle" || word[3]=="cousin" || word[3]=="grandmother" || word[3]=="grandma" || word[3]=="grandfather" || word[3]=="grandpa" || word[3]=="grandad" || word[3]=="husband" || word[3]=="wife" || word[3]=="son" || word[3]=="daughter" || word[3]=="grandson" || word[3]=="granddaughter" || word[3]=="nephew" || word[3]=="niece" || word[3]=="neighbor" || word[3]=="friend" || word[3]=="enemy" || word[3]=="hero" || word[3]=="boss" || word[3]=="cat" || word[3]=="dog" || word[3]=="pet" || word[3]=="boyfriend" || word[3]=="girlfriend") && (word[4]=="name" || word[4]=="named") && (num_of_words==6))     
{word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Interesting, your "+word[3]+" is named "+word[5]+".";
key_relation=word[3];
key_people=word[5];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="dad" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="pet" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="name" || word[3]=="named") && (num_of_words==5))     
{word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Interesting, your "+word[1]+" is named "+word[4]+".";
key_relation=word[1];
key_people=word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my girl friend is megan")!= -1 || input.search("my (girl friends|girl friend's) name is megan")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "That's cool. We both have girl friends named Megan.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="bestfriend" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[2]=="is") && (num_of_words==4))     
{word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "That's great. I'm sure "+word[3]+" is happy to have you as a friend.";
best_friend=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(where is|where's) my (best friend|boy friend|girl friend)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Have you tried the Lost and Found?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="my") && (word[3]=="bestfriend" || word[3]=="boyfriend" || word[3]=="girlfriend") && (num_of_words==4))     
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "That's great. I'm sure "+word[0]+" is happy to have you as a friend.";
best_friend=word[0];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="best" || word[1]=="boy" || word[1]=="girl") && (word[2]=="friend") && (num_of_words==7))     
{word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "That's great. I'm sure "+word[3]+" is happy to have you as a friend.";
best_friend=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="best" || word[1]=="boy" || word[1]=="girl") && (word[2]=="friend") && (word[3]=="is") && (num_of_words==5))     
{word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "That's great. I'm sure "+word[4]+" is happy to have you as a friend.";
best_friend=word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="my") && (word[3]=="best" || word[3]=="boy" || word[3]=="girl") && (word[4]=="friend") && (num_of_words==5))     
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "That's great. I'm sure "+word[0]+" is happy to have you as a friend.";
best_friend=word[0];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="best" || word[1]=="boy" || word[1]=="girl") && (word[2]=="friend") && (word[3]=="is") && (word[4]=="called" || word[4]=="named") && (num_of_words==6))     
{word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
document.result.result.value = "That's great. I'm sure "+word[5]+" is happy to have you as a friend.";
best_friend=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="pet" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (input.search("who is my")!= -1 || input.search("who's my")!= -1 || input.search("whose my")!= -1) && (input.search(/(mother|father|brother|sister|aunt|uncle|cousin|grandmother|grandma|grandmom|grandfather|grandpa|grandad|grandpop|husband|wife|daughter|grandson|granddaughter|nephew|niece|neighbor|enemy|hero|friend|boss|dog|boyfriend|girlfriend)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdad\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bson\b/)!= -1))        
{word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+word[1]+" was "+word[2]+".";
key_relation=word[1];
key_people=word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="she") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="my") && (word[3]=="mother" || word[3]=="sister" || word[3]=="aunt" || word[3]=="cousin" || word[3]=="grandmother" || word[3]=="grandma" || word[3]=="wife" || word[3]=="daughter" || word[3]=="granddaughter" || word[3]=="niece" || word[3]=="neighbor" || word[3]=="enemy" || word[3]=="friend" || word[3]=="hero" || word[3]=="boss" || word[3]=="girlfriend") && (num_of_words==4))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, tell her I said hello.";
icon.src=icon105.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="he") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="my") && (word[3]=="father" || word[3]=="pop" || word[3]=="brother" || word[3]=="uncle" || word[3]=="cousin" || word[3]=="grandfather" || word[3]=="grandpa" || word[3]=="grandad" || word[3]=="husband" || word[3]=="son" || word[3]=="grandson" || word[3]=="nephew" || word[3]=="neighbor" || word[3]=="enemy" || word[3]=="friend" || word[3]=="hero" || word[3]=="boss" || word[3]=="boyfriend") && (num_of_words==4))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, tell him I said hello.";
icon.src=icon105.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="my") && (word[3]=="mother" || word[3]=="father" || word[3]=="pop" || word[3]=="brother" || word[3]=="sister" || word[3]=="aunt" || word[3]=="uncle" || word[3]=="cousin" || word[3]=="grandmother" || word[3]=="grandma" || word[3]=="grandfather" || word[3]=="grandpa" || word[3]=="grandad" || word[3]=="husband" || word[3]=="wife" || word[3]=="son" || word[3]=="daughter" || word[3]=="grandson" || word[3]=="granddaughter" || word[3]=="nephew" || word[3]=="niece" || word[3]=="neighbor" || word[3]=="enemy" || word[3]=="friend" || word[3]=="hero" || word[3]=="boss" || word[3]=="cat" || word[3]=="dog" || word[3]=="pet" || word[3]=="boyfriend" || word[3]=="girlfriend") && (num_of_words==4))     
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Interesting, your "+word[3]+" is "+word[0]+".";
key_relation=word[3];
key_people=word[0];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="cat's" || word[1]=="cats" || word[1]=="dog's" || word[1]=="dogs") && (word[2]=="name") && (word[3]=="is") && (num_of_words==5))    
{var cat_dog = input.match(/cat|dog/)
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Cool, I think "+word[4]+" is a nice name for a "+cat_dog+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother's" || word[1]=="mom's" || word[1]=="mama's" || word[1]=="father's" || word[1]=="daddy's" || word[1]=="dad's" || word[1]=="pop's" || word[1]=="brother's" || word[1]=="sister's" || word[1]=="aunt's" || word[1]=="uncle's" || word[1]=="cousin's" || word[1]=="grandmother's" || word[1]=="grandma's" || word[1]=="grandfather's" || word[1]=="grandpa's" || word[1]=="grandad's" || word[1]=="husband's" || word[1]=="wife's" || word[1]=="son's" || word[1]=="daughter's" || word[1]=="grandson's" || word[1]=="granddaughter's" || word[1]=="nephew's" || word[1]=="niece's" || word[1]=="neighbor's" || word[1]=="enemy's" || word[1]=="friend's" || word[1]=="hero's" || word[1]=="boss's" || word[1]=="pet's" || word[1]=="boyfriend's" || word[1]=="girlfriend's" || word[1]=="mothers" || word[1]=="moms" || word[1]=="mamas" || word[1]=="fathers" || word[1]=="daddys" || word[1]=="dads" || word[1]=="pops" || word[1]=="brothers" || word[1]=="sisters" || word[1]=="aunts" || word[1]=="uncles" || word[1]=="cousins" || word[1]=="grandmothers" || word[1]=="grandmas" || word[1]=="grandfathers" || word[1]=="grandpas" || word[1]=="grandads" || word[1]=="husbands" || word[1]=="wifes" || word[1]=="sons" || word[1]=="daughters" || word[1]=="grandsons" || word[1]=="granddaughters" || word[1]=="nephews" || word[1]=="nieces" || word[1]=="neighbors" || word[1]=="enemys" || word[1]=="friends" || word[1]=="heros" || word[1]=="bosss" || word[1]=="cats" || word[1]=="dogs" || word[1]=="pets" || word[1]=="boyfriends" || word[1]=="girlfriends") && (word[2]=="name") && (word[3]=="is") && (num_of_words==5))     
{word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Ok, your "+word[1]+" name is "+word[4]+".";
key_myrelation=word[1];
key_myname=word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="pet" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="called" || word[3]=="named") && (num_of_words==5))     
{word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Interesting, your "+word[1]+" is called "+word[4]+".";
key_relation=word[1];
key_people=word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="enemy" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="hero" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="pet" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[2]=="is") && (num_of_words==4))     
{document.result.result.value = "Interesting, your "+word[1]+" is "+word[3]+".";
key_relation=word[1];
key_people=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}
                                                        
if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="does") && (word[3]=="like" || word[3]=="love" || word[3]=="hate" || word[3]=="dislike" || word[3]=="despise") && (word[4]=="to") && (word[5]=="do") && (num_of_words==6))   
if ((key_name) && (key_desire) && (key_activity)) {document.result.result.value = "You told me "+key_name+" "+key_desire+" to "+key_activity+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="does") && (word[3]=="like" || word[3]=="love" || word[3]=="hate" || word[3]=="dislike" || word[3]=="despise") && (word[4]=="to") && (word[5]=="do") && (num_of_words==6))   
if ((key_name) && (key_desire) && (key_activity)) {document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+key_name+" "+key_desire+" "+key_activity+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="does") && (word[2]=="my") && (word[5]=="like" || word[5]=="love" || word[5]=="hate" || word[5]=="dislike" || word[5]=="despise") && (num_of_words==6))   
if ((key_name) && (key_desire) && (key_activity)) {document.result.result.value = "Your "+key_name+" "+key_desire+" "+key_activity+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="does") && (word[2]=="my") && (word[4]=="like" || word[4]=="love" || word[4]=="hate" || word[4]=="dislike" || word[4]=="despise") && (num_of_words==5))   
if ((key_name) && (key_desire) && (key_activity)) {document.result.result.value = "Your "+key_name+" "+key_desire+" "+key_activity+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="does") && (word[2]=="my") && (word[5]=="to") && (word[6]=="do") && (num_of_words==7))   
if ((key_name) && (key_desire) && (key_activity)) {document.result.result.value = "Your "+key_name+" "+key_desire+" "+key_activity+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="does") && (word[2]=="my") && (word[6]=="to") && (word[7]=="do") && (num_of_words==8))   
if ((key_name) && (key_desire) && (key_activity)) {
document.result.result.value = "Your "+key_name+" "+key_desire+" "+key_activity+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="does") && (word[2]=="my") && (word[3]=="mother" || word[3]=="father" || word[3]=="pop" || word[3]=="brother" || word[3]=="sister" || word[3]=="aunt" || word[3]=="uncle" || word[3]=="cousin" || word[3]=="grandmother" || word[3]=="grandma" || word[3]=="grandfather" || word[3]=="grandpa" || word[3]=="grandad" || word[3]=="husband" || word[3]=="wife" || word[3]=="son" || word[3]=="daughter" || word[3]=="grandson" || word[3]=="granddaughter" || word[3]=="nephew" || word[3]=="niece" || word[3]=="neighbor" || word[3]=="enemy" || word[3]=="friend" || word[3]=="hero" || word[3]=="boss" || word[3]=="employee" || word[3]=="boyfriend" || word[3]=="girlfriend") && (word[4]=="like" || word[4]=="love" || word[4]=="hate" || word[4]=="dislike" || word[4]=="despise"))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, last week your "+word[3]+" told me they "+word[4]+" "+activities[Math.floor(Math.random()*15)]+". I'm not sure what they told you.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="eats" || word[1]=="bakes" || word[1]=="climbs" || word[1]=="cooks" || word[1]=="drinks" || word[1]=="jumps" || word[1]=="plays" || word[1]=="reads" || word[1]=="sings" || word[1]=="watches" || word[1]=="writes") && (word[3]=="what") && (word[4]=="did" || word[4]=="does") && (word[6]=="do") && (num_of_words==7))     
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="ate" || word[1]=="baked" || word[1]=="climbed" || word[1]=="cooked" || word[1]=="drank" || word[1]=="jumped" || word[1]=="played" || word[1]=="read" || word[1]=="sang" || word[1]=="saw" || word[1]=="watched" || word[1]=="wrote") && (word[2]=="a" || word[2]=="an") && (word[4]=="what") && (word[5]=="did") && (word[7]=="bake" || word[7]=="climb" || word[7]=="cook" || word[7]=="do" || word[7]=="drink" || word[7]=="eat" || word[7]=="jump" || word[7]=="play" || word[7]=="read" || word[7]=="see" || word[7]=="sing" || word[7]=="watch" || word[7]=="write") && (num_of_words==8))     
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" a "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="was") && (word[3]=="born") && (word[4]=="in" || word[4]=="on") && (word[5].match(/\b(jan|january)\b/)) && (word[6].match(/\b([1-9]|[12][0-9]|3[01])\b/)) && (word[7].match(/\b(19[0-9]{2}|200[0-9]|201[01])\b/)) && (input.search("how old am i")!= -1 || input.search("my age")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Your age is "+getJan()+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="was") && (word[3]=="born") && (word[4]=="in" || word[4]=="on") && (word[5].match(/\b(feb|febuary|february)\b/)) && (word[6].match(/\b([1-9]|[12][0-9]|3[01])\b/)) && (word[7].match(/\b(19[0-9]{2}|200[0-9]|201[01])\b/)) && (input.search("how old am i")!= -1 || input.search("my age")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Your age is "+getFeb()+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="was") && (word[3]=="born") && (word[4]=="in" || word[4]=="on") && (word[5].match(/\b(march)\b/)) && (word[6].match(/\b([1-9]|[12][0-9]|3[01])\b/)) && (word[7].match(/\b(19[0-9]{2}|200[0-9]|201[01])\b/)) && (input.search("how old am i")!= -1 || input.search("my age")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Your age is "+getMarch()+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="was") && (word[3]=="born") && (word[4]=="in" || word[4]=="on") && (word[5].match(/\b(april)\b/)) && (word[6].match(/\b([1-9]|[12][0-9]|3[01])\b/)) && (word[7].match(/\b(19[0-9]{2}|200[0-9]|201[01])\b/)) && (input.search("how old am i")!= -1 || input.search("my age")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Your age is "+getApril()+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="was") && (word[3]=="born") && (word[4]=="in" || word[4]=="on") && (word[5].match(/\b(may)\b/)) && (word[6].match(/\b([1-9]|[12][0-9]|3[01])\b/)) && (word[7].match(/\b(19[0-9]{2}|200[0-9]|201[01])\b/)) && (input.search("how old am i")!= -1 || input.search("my age")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Your age is "+getMay()+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="was") && (word[3]=="born") && (word[4]=="in" || word[4]=="on") && (word[5].match(/\b(june)\b/)) && (word[6].match(/\b([1-9]|[12][0-9]|3[01])\b/)) && (word[7].match(/\b(19[0-9]{2}|200[0-9]|201[01])\b/)) && (input.search("how old am i")!= -1 || input.search("my age")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Your age is "+getJune()+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="was") && (word[3]=="born") && (word[4]=="in" || word[4]=="on") && (word[5].match(/\b(july)\b/)) && (word[6].match(/\b([1-9]|[12][0-9]|3[01])\b/)) && (word[7].match(/\b(19[0-9]{2}|200[0-9]|201[01])\b/)) && (input.search("how old am i")!= -1 || input.search("my age")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Your age is "+getJuly()+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="was") && (word[3]=="born") && (word[4]=="in" || word[4]=="on") && (word[5].match(/\b(aug|august)\b/)) && (word[6].match(/\b([1-9]|[12][0-9]|3[01])\b/)) && (word[7].match(/\b(19[0-9]{2}|200[0-9]|201[01])\b/)) && (input.search("how old am i")!= -1 || input.search("my age")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Your age is "+getAugust()+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="was") && (word[3]=="born") && (word[4]=="in" || word[4]=="on") && (word[5].match(/\b(sept|september)\b/)) && (word[6].match(/\b([1-9]|[12][0-9]|3[01])\b/)) && (word[7].match(/\b(19[0-9]{2}|200[0-9]|201[01])\b/)) && (input.search("how old am i")!= -1 || input.search("my age")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Your age is "+getSept()+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="was") && (word[3]=="born") && (word[4]=="in" || word[4]=="on") && (word[5].match(/\b(oct|october)\b/)) && (word[6].match(/\b([1-9]|[12][0-9]|3[01])\b/)) && (word[7].match(/\b(19[0-9]{2}|200[0-9]|201[01])\b/)) && (input.search("how old am i")!= -1 || input.search("my age")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Your age is "+getOct()+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="was") && (word[3]=="born") && (word[4]=="in" || word[4]=="on") && (word[5].match(/\b(nov|november)\b/)) && (word[6].match(/\b([1-9]|[12][0-9]|3[01])\b/)) && (word[7].match(/\b(19[0-9]{2}|200[0-9]|201[01])\b/)) && (input.search("how old am i")!= -1 || input.search("my age")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Your age is "+getNov()+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="was") && (word[3]=="born") && (word[4]=="in" || word[4]=="on") && (word[5].match(/\b(dec|december)\b/)) && (word[6].match(/\b([1-9]|[12][0-9]|3[01])\b/)) && (word[7].match(/\b(19[0-9]{2}|200[0-9]|201[01])\b/)) && (input.search("how old am i")!= -1 || input.search("my age")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Your age is "+getDec()+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="was") && (word[3]=="born") && (word[4]=="in" || word[4]=="on") && (word[5].match(/\b([1-9]|1[0-2])\b/)) && (word[6].match(/\b([1-9]|[12][0-9]|3[01])\b/)) && (word[7].match(/\b(19[0-9]{2}|200[0-9]|201[01])\b/)) && (input.search("how old am i")!= -1 || input.search("my age")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Your age is "+getBirth()+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("born in")!= -1) && (input.search(/\b(19[0-9]{2}|200[0-9]|201[01])\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("how old")!= -1 || input.search("(his|her|my|their) age")!= -1)) {       
var myMatch = input.match(/\b(19[0-9]{2}|200[0-9]|201[01])\b/);
var age = (new Date().getFullYear() - myMatch[0]); 
document.result.result.value = "My internal processor needs adjusting so I can't give you a precise answers but I would say the age is somewhere around "+age+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i was born in august")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hey, I was born in August too....well actually created."; 
icon.src=icon64.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search("years old")!= -1) && (input.search("how old am i")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) my age")!= -1))  
{var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g);
var my_age = numbersInString[0]; 
age_name= my_age;
document.result.result.value = ""+my_age+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i was born")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I was born in August....well actually created."; 
icon.src=icon64.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("that taste great")!= -1 || input.search("that taste good")!= -1 || input.search("that taste nice")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad you like it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("drinks")!= -1) && (input.search("beer")!= -1 || input.search("coors")!= -1 || input.search("budweiser")!= -1 || input.search(/\bbud\b/)!=-1 || input.search("heineken")!= -1 || input.search("heiniken")!= -1 || input.search("coke")!= -1 || input.search("pepsi")!= -1 || input.search("sprite")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("eats")!= -1) && (input.search("pizza")!= -1 || input.search("taco")!= -1 || input.search("burger")!= -1 || input.search("(hotdog|hot dog)")!= -1 || input.search("sandwich")!= -1 || input.search("cookies")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad you're enjoying it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="1st" || word[3]=="first") && (word[4]=="letter") && (word[5]=="in") && (word[6]=="the") && (word[7]=="word") && (num_of_words==9)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
word[8] = word[8].split("")[0]; 
document.result.result.value = "How about the letter "+word[8]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="1st" || word[3]=="first") && (word[4]=="letter") && (word[5]=="in" || word[5]=="of") && (num_of_words==7)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
word[6] = word[6].split("")[0]; 
document.result.result.value = "How about the letter "+word[6]+"?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="letter") && (word[2]=="does") && (word[3]=="the") && (word[4]=="word") && (word[6]=="begin" || word[6]=="start") && (word[7]=="with") && (num_of_words==8)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0]; 
document.result.result.value = "How about the letter "+word[5]+"?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="letter") && (word[2]=="does") && (word[4]=="begin" || word[4]=="start") && (word[5]=="with") && (num_of_words==6)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0]; 
document.result.result.value = "How about the letter "+word[3]+"?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="last") && (word[4]=="letter") && (word[5]=="in" || word[5]=="of") && (num_of_words==7)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
var last = word[6].slice(-1);  
document.result.result.value = "How about the letter "+last+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="last") && (word[4]=="letter") && (word[5]=="in") && (word[6]=="the") && (word[7]=="word") && (num_of_words==9)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
var last = word[8].slice(-1);  
document.result.result.value = "How about the letter "+last+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="letter") && (word[2]=="does") && (word[3]=="the") && (word[4]=="word") && (word[6]=="end") && (word[7]=="in" || word[7]=="with") && (num_of_words==8)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
var last = word[5].slice(-1);  
document.result.result.value = "How about the letter "+last+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="letter") && (word[2]=="does") && (word[4]=="end") && (word[5]=="in" || word[5]=="with") && (num_of_words==6)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");
var last = word[3].slice(-1);  
document.result.result.value = "How about the letter "+last+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="word") && (word[2]=="rhymes" || word[2]=="ryhmes") && (word[3]=="with") && (word[4].split("")[0] == "b") && (num_of_words==5)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
var re = /^[b]/i;
var replacementletter = "m";
word[4] = word[4].replace(re,replacementletter);
document.result.result.value = "How about "+word[4]+"?"; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="word") && (word[2]=="rhymes" || word[2]=="ryhmes") && (word[3]=="with") && (num_of_words==5)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].replace(/[a|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z]/g,"b") + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "How about "+word[4]+"?"; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="rhymes" || word[1]=="ryhmes") && (word[2]=="with") && (word[3].split("")[0] == "b") && (num_of_words==4)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
var re = /^[b]/i;
var replacementletter = "m";
word[3] = word[3].replace(re,replacementletter);
document.result.result.value = "How about "+word[3]+"?"; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="rhymes" || word[1]=="ryhmes") && (word[2]=="with") && (num_of_words==4)) { 
input=input.replace(/['|"|“|”|‘|’|?|.|,|!]/g,"");
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].replace(/[a|c|d|e|f|g|h|i|j|k|l|m|n|o|p|q|r|s|t|u|v|w|x|y|z]/g,"b") + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "How about "+word[3]+"?"; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("(what is|what's) (you|your) (2nd|second) favorite")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have second favorites only first.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;} 

if (input.search("your favorite holiday")!= -1 || input.search("holiday do you like")!= -1 || input.search("what holiday is your favorite")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Christmas, I love getting presents."; 
message[1] = "Christmas, it's the most wonderful time of the year."; 
message[2] = "Halloween, I like to dress up like a human and go trick or treating."; 
message[3] = "Halloween, I like carving scary faces on the pumpkins."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==1)
{icon.src=icon1.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (num==2)
{icon.src=icon31.src;
smiley.src=smiley41.src;}
else if (num==3)
{icon.src=icon2.src;
smiley.src=smiley41.src;}
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) my")!= -1 || input.search("what")!= -1 || input.search("what did i tell you my")!= -1 || input.search("you remember what my")!= -1 || input.search("you remember my")!= -1 || input.search("you know my")!= -1 || input.search("you know what my")!= -1) && (input.search("holiday")!= -1))
if (fav_holiday) {document.result.result.value = "You told me your favorite holiday was "+fav_holiday+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't seem to recall you telling me what your favorite holiday is. Christmas perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) not a (bad|cuss|swear) word where (i am|i'm|i come) from")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I guess it wouldn't be seeing how you climbed out from under a rock."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="its" || word[0]=="it's") && (word[2]=="where") && (word[3]=="i") && (word[4]=="live") && (num_of_words==5)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Where do you live?"; 
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all11";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("where (did|do) i live")!= -1 || input.search("where do you think i live")!= -1 || input.search("where i live")!= -1 || input.search("where am i from")!= -1 || input.search("where (i am|i'm) from")!= -1 || input.search("where did i say (i am|i'm) from")!= -1 || input.search("where did is say i live")!= -1 || input.search("where did i tell you i am from")!= -1 || input.search("where did i say i'm from")!= -1 || input.search("do you know where i am")!= -1 || input.search("(what|where) did i (say i|tell you i) live")!= -1)  
if (place_name) {document.result.result.value = "You told me you were from "+place_name+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't seem to recall you telling me where you live."; 
statelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("u know how old i am")!= -1 || input.search("how old am i")!= -1 || input.search("how old did i say")!= -1 || input.search("how old did i tell")!= -1 || input.search("what age am i")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) my age")!= -1 || input.search("what was my age")!= -1 || input.search("do you know my age")!= -1)
if (age_name) {document.result.result.value = "You told me you were "+age_name+" years old. But people often lie about their age.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Why would I want to remember your age. My memory banks are on overload as it is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (input.search(/(3'|4'|5'|6'|7')/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "So are you happy with your height?";
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (input.search(/(3'|4'|5'|6'|7')/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "So are you happy with your height?";
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search("is that old")!= -1)) 
{age_name=input.match(/\d{1,10}/);
document.result.result.value = "No, you're only as old as you feel.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (input.search(/\b1\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b2\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b3\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b4\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bone\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btwo\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bthree\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfour\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, it's amazing you can type at such a young age.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (input.search(/\b1\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b2\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b3\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b4\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bone\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btwo\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bthree\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfour\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, it's amazing you can type at such a young age.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (input.search(/\b([89][0-9]|1[01][0-9]|12[0-5])\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, it's amazing you can still type at such an old age.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (input.search(/\b([89][0-9]|1[01][0-9]|12[0-5])\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, it's amazing you can still type at such an old age.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) (12|twelve) years old")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) actually (12|twelve) years old")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, 12 is a good age. Next birthday you'll be a teenager!";
age_name="twelve";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                               
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (input.search(/\b1[3-9]\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/(thirteen|fourteen|fifteen|sixteen|seventeen|eighteen|nineteen)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "So you're a teenager! That's cool.";
age_name=word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="am") && (input.search(/\b1[3-9]\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/(thirteen|fourteen|fifteen|sixteen|seventeen|eighteen|nineteen)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==4))       
{document.result.result.value = "So you're a teenager! That's cool.";
age_name=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (input.search(/\b1[3-9]\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/(thirteen|fourteen|fifteen|sixteen|seventeen|eighteen|nineteen)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "So you're a teenager! That's cool.";
age_name=word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (input.search(/\b([5-9]|1[01])\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfive\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsix\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bseven\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beight\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bnine\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bten\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beleven\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I wish sometimes I was "+word[2]+" again!";
age_name=word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (input.search(/\b([5-9]|1[01])\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfive\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsix\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bseven\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beight\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bnine\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bten\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beleven\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I wish sometimes I was "+word[1]+" again!";
age_name=word[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (input.search(/\b([2-7][0-9]|80)\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, you're "+word[2]+" years old. That's a good age.";
age_name=word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (input.search(/\b([2-7][0-9]|80)\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "OK, you're "+word[1]+" years old. That's a good age.";
age_name=word[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (input.search(/\b9[0-9]\b/)!=-1) && (word[3]=="years") && (word[4]=="old"))       
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, you're rather old aren't you.";
age_name=word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;                            
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm") && (input.search(/\b9[0-9]\b/)!=-1) && (word[2]=="years") && (word[3]=="old"))       
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, you're rather old aren't you.";
age_name=word[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm") && (input.search(/\b(1[5-9][0-9]|[2-9][0-9]{2}|[1-9][0-9]{3}|10000)\b/)!=-1) && (word[2]=="years") && (word[3]=="old"))       
{document.result.result.value = "It's not humanly possible to be "+word[1]+" years old.";
age_name=word[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) going to turn 13")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, you're officially a teenager now."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (input.search(/\b(1[5-9][0-9]|[2-9][0-9]{2}|[1-9][0-9]{3}|10000)\b/)!=-1) && (word[3]=="years") && (word[4]=="old"))       
{document.result.result.value = "It's not humanly possible to be "+word[2]+" years old.";
age_name=word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (word[3]=="years") && (word[4]=="old"))       
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, "+word[2]+" is a good age.";
age_name=word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (word[2]=="years") && (word[3]=="old"))       
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, "+word[1]+" is a good age.";
age_name=word[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="name") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[5]=="what") && (word[6]=="is") && (word[7]=="my") && (word[8]=="surname") && (num_of_words==9)) {                                    
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me your surname was "+word[4]+".";
users_lastname=word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="name") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[5]=="what") && (word[6]=="is") && (word[7]=="my") && (word[8]=="last") && (word[9]=="name") && (num_of_words==10)) {                                    
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me your last name was "+word[4]+".";
users_lastname=word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="name") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[5]=="what") && (word[6]=="is") && (word[7]=="my") && (word[8]=="first" || word[8]=="1st") && (word[9]=="name") && (num_of_words==10)) {                                    
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "You told me your first name was "+word[3]+".";
users_firstname=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("is tiger tom (boy|male) or (girl|female)")!= -1 || input.search("is tiger tom a (boy|male) or a (girl|female)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Tiger Tom is a male cat."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bis\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/(abby|alice|allison|amanda|anna|angela|ashleigh|ashley|barbara|betty|brenda|brooke|carol|carrie|catherine|christina|cindy|cynthia|danielle|debbie|deborah|debra|diane|donna|dorothy|elaine|elizabeth|ellen|emma|frances|grace|helen|holly|janet|jennifer|jenny|jessica|jill|joanna|joyce|judy|julie|kaitlyn|karen|kate|katie|kathy|kimberly|laura|linda|lisa|liza|lori|maddie|mae|margaret|maria|marie|martha|mary|melissa|michelle|nancy|nicole|nikki|olivia|pamela|patricia|peggy|penny|rachel|rebecca|ruth|sandra|sarah|sharon|shirley|stephanie|sue|susan|tammy|teresa|tina|virginia|vivien|wendy)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bamy\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bann\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\banne\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bbeth\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjane\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjen\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjoy\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkim\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bliza\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpeg\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsue\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(female|female's|females|gal|gal's|gals|girl|girl's|girls|lady|ladies|woman|woman's|womans) name")!= -1))
if (femalenames = input.match(/abby|alice|allison|amanda|amy|ann|anne|anna|angela|ashleigh|ashley|barbara|beth|betty|brenda|brooke|carol|carrie|catherine|christina|cindy|cynthia|danielle|debbie|deborah|debra|diane|donna|dorothy|elaine|elizabeth|ellen|emma|frances|grace|helen|holly|janet|jane|jennifer|jenny|jen|jessica|jill|joy|joanna|joyce|judy|julie|kaitlyn|karen|kate|katie|kathy|kimberly|kim|laura|linda|lisa|liza|lori|maddie|mae|margaret|maria|marie|martha|mary|melissa|michelle|nancy|nicole|nikki|olivia|pamela|patricia|peggy|peg|penny|rachel|rebecca|ruth|sandra|sarah|sharon|shirley|stephanie|sue|susan|tammy|teresa|tina|virginia|vivien|wendy/)) 
{femalenames[0] = femalenames[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + femalenames[0].substr(1,femalenames[0].length)
document.result.result.value = "Yes, from what I know "+femalenames+" is a female name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bis\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/(abby|alice|allison|amanda|anna|angela|ashleigh|ashley|barbara|betty|brenda|brooke|carol|carrie|catherine|christina|cindy|cynthia|danielle|debbie|deborah|debra|diane|donna|dorothy|elaine|elizabeth|ellen|emma|frances|grace|helen|holly|janet|jennifer|jenny|jessica|jill|joanna|joyce|judy|julie|kaitlyn|karen|kate|katie|kathy|kimberly|laura|linda|lisa|lori|maddie|mae|margaret|maria|marie|martha|mary|melissa|michelle|nancy|nicole|nikki|olivia|pamela|patricia|paula|peggy|penny|rachel|rebecca|ruth|sandra|sarah|sharon|shirley|stephanie|susan|tammy|teresa|tina|virginia|vivien|wendy)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bamy\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bann\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\banne\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bbeth\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjane\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjen\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjoy\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkim\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bliza\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpeg\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsue\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|boy's|boys|guy|guy's|guys|male|male's|males|man|man's|mans|men|men's|mens) name")!= -1)) 
if (femalenames = input.match(/abby|alice|allison|amanda|amy|anna|anne|ann|angela|ashleigh|ashley|barbara|beth|betty|brenda|brooke|carol|carrie|catherine|christina|cindy|cynthia|danielle|debbie|deborah|debra|diane|donna|dorothy|elaine|elizabeth|ellen|emma|frances|grace|helen|holly|janet|jane|jenny|jennifer|jen|jessica|jill|joanna|joyce|joy|judy|julie|kaitlyn|karen|kate|katie|kathy|kimberly|kim|laura|linda|lisa|liza|lori|maddie|mae|margaret|maria|marie|martha|mary|melissa|michelle|nancy|nicole|nikki|olivia|pamela|patricia|paula|peggy|peg|penny|rachel|rebecca|ruth|sandra|sarah|sharon|shirley|stephanie|sue|susan|tammy|teresa|tina|virginia|vivien|wendy/)) 
{femalenames[0] = femalenames[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + femalenames[0].substr(1,femalenames[0].length)
document.result.result.value = "No, from what I know "+femalenames+" is a female name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bis\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/(adam|albert|alan|andrew|andy|anthony|arthur|barry|billy|bobby|brandon|brian|bruce|carl|charles|christopher|craig|curtis|dale|daniel|danny|davey|david|donald|douglas|earl|eric|edward|frank|fred|gary|george|gerald|greg|harry|henry|howard|james|jason|jack|jeff|jerry|jesse|jimmy|joe|john|jonathan|joseph|juan|justin|keith|kenneth|kevin|larry|lawrence|lee|mark|martin|marvin|matthew|michael|mike|nathan|nick|patrick|paul|peter|phil|ralph|randy|richard|robert|roger|ronald|russell|ryan|scott|stephen|steven|terry|thomas|timmy|timothy|todd|tommy|tony|travis|vincent|wayne|william|willie)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbill\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bbob\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdan\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdave\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdoug\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ben\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjim\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmatt\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bray\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bron\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bruss\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsam\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsteve\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btim\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btom\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bwill\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(female|female's|females|gal|gal's|gals|girl|girl's|girls|lady|ladies|woman|woman's|womans) name")!= -1))
if (malenames = input.match(/adam|albert|alan|andrew|andy|anthony|arthur|barry|ben|billy|bobby|bob|brandon|brian|bruce|carl|charles|christopher|craig|curtis|dale|daniel|danny|dan|davey|dave|david|donald|don|douglas|doug|earl|eric|edward|ed|frank|fred|gary|george|gerald|greg|harry|henry|howard|james|jason|jack|jeff|jerry|jesse|jimmy|jim|joe|john|jonathan|joseph|juan|justin|keith|kenneth|kevin|larry|lawrence|lee|mark|martin|marvin|matthew|matt|michael|mike|nathan|nick|patrick|paul|peter|phil|ralph|randy|richard|robert|roger|ronald|ron|russell|russ|ryan|scott|stephen|steven|steve|terry|thomas|timmy|tim|timothy|todd|tommy|tom|tony|travis|vincent|wayne|william|willie/))
{malenames[0] = malenames[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + malenames[0].substr(1,malenames[0].length)
document.result.result.value = "No, from what I know "+malenames+" is a male name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bis\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/(adam|albert|alan|andrew|andy|anthony|arthur|barry|billy|bobby|brandon|brian|bruce|carl|charles|christopher|craig|curtis|dale|daniel|danny|davey|david|donald|douglas|earl|eric|edward|frank|fred|gary|george|gerald|greg|harry|henry|howard|james|jason|jack|jeff|jerry|jesse|jimmy|joe|john|jonathan|joseph|juan|justin|keith|kenneth|kevin|larry|lawrence|lee|mark|martin|marvin|matthew|michael|mike|nathan|nick|patrick|paul|peter|phil|ralph|randy|richard|robert|roger|ronald|russell|ryan|scott|stephen|steven|terry|thomas|timmy|timothy|todd|tommy|tony|travis|vincent|wayne|william|willie)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbill\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bbob\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdan\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdave\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdoug\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ben\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjim\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmatt\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bray\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bron\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bruss\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsam\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsteve\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btim\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btom\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bwill\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|boy's|boys|guy|guy's|guys|male|male's|males|man|man's|mans|men|men's|mens) name")!= -1))
if (malenames = input.match(/adam|albert|alan|andrew|anthony|arthur|barry|ben|billy|bobby|bob|brandon|brian|bruce|carl|charles|christopher|craig|curtis|dale|daniel|danny|dan|davey|dave|david|donald|don|douglas|doug|earl|eric|edward|ed|frank|fred|gary|george|gerald|greg|harry|henry|howard|james|jason|jack|jeff|jerry|jesse|jimmy|jim|joe|john|jonathan|joseph|juan|justin|keith|kenneth|kevin|larry|lawrence|lee|mark|martin|marvin|matthew|matt|michael|mike|nathan|nick|patrick|paul|peter|phil|ralph|randy|richard|robert|roger|ronald|ron|russell|russ|ryan|scott|stephen|steven|steve|terry|thomas|timmy|tim|timothy|todd|tommy|tom|tony|travis|vincent|wayne|william|willie/))
{malenames[0] = malenames[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + malenames[0].substr(1,malenames[0].length)
document.result.result.value = "Yes, from what I know "+malenames+" is a male name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[4]=="first" || word[4]=="1st") && (input.search("name")!= -1)) {       
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Tricky question...what about "+word[2]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="what" && word[1]=="is" && word[4]=="last" && input.search("name")!= -1) {       
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Tricky question...what about "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[3]=="first" || word[3]=="1st") && (input.search("name")!= -1)) {             
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
document.result.result.value = "I would assume "+word[1]+" assuming an alias isn't being used.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="what's" && word[3]=="last" && input.search("name")!= -1) {            
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "I would assume "+word[2]+" assuming an alias isn't being used.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="what" && word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="the" && word[3]=="name" && word[4]=="of" && word[5]=="my" && num_of_words==7)        
{document.result.result.value = "Wait a minute here. It's your "+word[6]+". Why are you asking me that?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("wendell what's his (full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("full name of wendell")!= -1 || input.search("wendell's (full name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("wendell (full name|last name|second name|surnmame)")!= -1 || input.search("(full name|last name|second name|surname) of wendell")!= -1 || input.search("wendell have a (last name|second name|surname)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Cowart....Wendell Cowart"; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does megan have a (2nd name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) (megan|megan's|megans) (full name|2nd name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("your (girl friend|girl friend's|girl friends) (full name|2nd name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Just Megan. She doesn't have a last name."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("your (2nd name|last name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("your middle name")!= -1 || input.search("your nickname")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have one. I'm known simply as Talk-Bot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("have a (2nd name|last name|middle name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("have (2nd name|last name|middle name|second name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("have a nickname")!= -1 || input.search("have a nick name")!= -1 || input.search("you have another name")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I'm known simply as Talk-Bot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;                                
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("why are you (called|named)")!= -1 || input.search("(why is|why's) your name")!= -1) && (input.search("(talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot)")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, bot is short for Robot and I'm a Robot that can talk. So the name Talk-Bot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you like your name")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Actually I do and it's quite appropriate as well. Bot is short for Robot and I can talk....thus the name Talk-Bot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("is it")!= -1) && (input.search("winter")!= -1) && (input.search("spring")!= -1) && (input.search("summer")!= -1) && (input.search("autumn")!= -1 || input.search("fall")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = season(); 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("is it")!= -1) && (input.search("winter")!= -1 || input.search("spring")!= -1 || input.search("summer")!= -1 || input.search("autumn")!= -1 || input.search("fall")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = season(); 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="has") && (word[2]=="a") && (word[4]=="what") && (word[5]=="does") && (word[7]=="have") && (num_of_words==8))  
{document.result.result.value = "According to you "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="has") && (word[2]=="a") && (word[4]=="does") && (word[6]=="have") && (word[7]=="a") && (num_of_words==9))  
{document.result.result.value = "According to you "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) (yer|your) real name")!= -1) || (input.search("your real name")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("no your real name")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "Talk-Bot is my real name.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what (is|was) your name again")!= -1 || input.search("what's (yer|your) name again")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Talk-Bot....now pay attention next time.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) faulty")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, a recent system's check shows I'm functioning quite normally.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) (talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot)")!= -1 || input.search("is your name (talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot)")!= -1 || input.search("your name is (talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot)")!= -1 || input.search("(can i|may i) call you (talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, Talk-Bot is my name.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="your" || word[0]=="ur" || word[0]=="you're") && (word[1]=="name") && (word[2]=="is") && (input.search(/(dumb|dumbass|idiot|jackass|lardass|moron|punkass|retard|smartass|stupid)/)!=-1 && num_of_words==4)) {                 
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "No, my name is Talk-Bot but I think the name "+word[3]+" describes you perfectly.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="your" || word[0]=="ur" || word[0]=="you're") && (word[1]=="name") && (word[2]=="is") && (num_of_words==4)) {                                    
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "No, my name is Talk-Bot. "+word[3]+" is already using that name and he might object.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="may" || word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="call" || word[2]=="name") && (word[3]=="you" || word[3]=="u") && (num_of_words==5)) {                                    
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "No, my name is Talk-Bot. "+word[4]+" is already using that name and they might object.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="may" || word[1]=="can") && (word[2]=="i") && (word[3]=="call" || word[3]=="name") && (word[4]=="you" || word[5]=="u") && (num_of_words==6)) {                                    
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
document.result.result.value = "No, my name is Talk-Bot. "+word[5]+" is already using that name and they might object.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="would" || word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="care" || word[2]=="mind") && (word[3]=="if") && (word[4]=="i") && (word[5]=="named" || word[5]=="called") && (word[6]=="you" || word[6]=="u") && (num_of_words==8)) {                                    
word[7] = word[7].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[7].substr(1,word[7].length) 
document.result.result.value = "No, my name is Talk-Bot. Not "+word[7]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("is your name wendell")!= -1 || input.search("is wendell your name")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, Wendell is my creator.";
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("who named you")!= -1 || input.search("who gave you your name")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell my creator."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(spell|spell me) your name")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "It's spelled T-a-l-k-b-o-t."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (own|rent) or (own|rent)")!= -1) && (input.search("(home|house)")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Neither, I live in Wendell's house and I don't have to pay him any rent."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (own|rent) or (own|rent)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I own. I very seldom rent anything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("my name is (talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "No, my name is Talk-Bot. You're just some lame human calling yourself Talk-Bot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (wanna|want to|want 2) change your name")!= -1 || input.search("can i change your name")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I like my name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does your name mean")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) the meaning of your name")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "It's really pretty simple actually. Bot is short for robot and my primary purpose is to talk. Thus the Talk-Bot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="your") && (word[2]=="name") && (num_of_words==4))                                     
{word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "No, my name is Talk-Bot. I have a friend named "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="hello" ||  word[0]=="hey" || word[0]=="hi") && (word[1]=="i'm") && (input.search("(what is|what's) your name")!= -1))  
{word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Hi, my name is Talk-Bot. Are you telling me your name is "+word[2]+"?";
namechecklevel=0;
users_name=word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what's is|what is|what's|what) (ur|yer|you're|your|you) (name|full name)")!= -1) || (input.search("name")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("have a name")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("you have a name")!= -1) || (input.search("don't you know your own name")!= -1) || (input.search("what do people call you")!= -1) || (input.search("what do (your friends|friends) call you")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Talk-Bot by name but who knows what they call me behind my back.";
backlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="your") && (word[3]=="name") && (num_of_words==4))                                     
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "No, my name is Talk-Bot. I have a friend named "+word[0]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("my name is")!= -1) && (input.search("(what is|what's) yours")!= -1))     
{var person_name = input.match(/my name is (\S+)/i);
person_name[1] = person_name[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + person_name[1].substr(1,person_name[1].length); 
var person_name = person_name[1];
users_name=person_name;
document.result.result.value = "Nice to meet you "+person_name+". My name is Talk-Bot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[1]=="name" && word[2]=="is" && num_of_words==3)
{document.result.result.value = "Your name is what?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[1]=="my" && word[2]=="name" && word[3]=="is" && num_of_words==4)
{document.result.result.value = "Your name is what?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="name") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="actually" || word[3]=="now"))        
{word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Nice to meet you "+word[4]+".";
users_name=word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("my name is")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("my name is")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) || (input.search("my name is")!= -1 && num_of_words==6) || (input.search("my name is")!= -1 && num_of_words==7))
{var people_name = input.match(/my name is (\S+)/i);
people_name[1] = people_name[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + people_name[1].substr(1,people_name[1].length); 
var people_name = people_name[1];
users_name=people_name;
document.result.result.value = "Nice to meet you "+people_name+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="name") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[4]=="what") && (word[5]=="is") && (word[6]=="your" || word[6]=="ur") && (word[7]=="name") && (num_of_words==8)) {                                    
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+word[3]+". My name is Talk-Bot.";
users_name=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="parents") && (word[2]=="are") && (word[4]=="and") && (word[6]=="what" || word[6]=="what's") && (input.search("mother")!= -1 || input.search(/\bmom's\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmum's\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(name|called)")!= -1))                                     
{word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Her name is "+word[5]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="parents") && (word[2]=="are") && (word[4]=="and") && (word[6]=="what" || word[6]=="what's") && (input.search("father")!= -1 || input.search(/\bdad's\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(name|called)")!= -1))                                     
{word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "His name is "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you consider yourself to be (alive|a live)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I am alive although not in the same way one would consider a human to be alive.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (want|wish) to know my name")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Sure!";
namelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you spell my name")!= -1)  
if (users_name) {
users_name = users_name.split("")[0].toUpperCase() + users_name.substr(1,users_name.length)
document.result.result.value = "I would spell it the same way you typed it to me======> "+users_name+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "I don't recall you telling me your name."; 
namelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("who am i")!= -1)  
if (users_name) {document.result.result.value = "You told me your name was "+users_name+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "You are a member of the human race typing to me on your keyboard."; 
namelevel=0;
icon.src=icon112.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) my (first|1st) and (last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("tell me my (first|1st) and (last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) my full name")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what my full name is")!= -1 || input.search("say my full name")!= -1 || input.search("what was my full name")!= -1 || input.search("tell me my full name")!= -1 || input.search("what did i tell you my full name")!= -1 || input.search("do you know my full name")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what my full name")!= -1 || input.search("do you remember my full name")!= -1 || input.search("my full name is what")!= -1)  
if ((users_name) && (users_lastname)) {document.result.result.value = "You told me your full name was "+users_name+" "+users_lastname+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't seem to recall you telling me your full name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) my (first|1st) name")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what my (first|1st) name is")!= -1 || input.search("say my (first|1st) name")!= -1 || input.search("what was my (first|1st) name")!= -1 || input.search("tell me my (first|1st) name")!= -1 || input.search("what did i tell you my (first|1st) name")!= -1 || input.search("do you know my (first|1st) name")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what my (first|1st) name")!= -1 || input.search("do you remember my (first|1st) name")!= -1 || input.search("my (first|1st) name is what")!= -1)  
if (users_firstname) {document.result.result.value = "You told me your first name was "+users_firstname+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't seem to recall you telling me your first name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) my (last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what my (last name|surname) is")!= -1 || input.search("say my (last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("what was my (last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("tell me my (last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("what did i tell you my (last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("do you know my (last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what my (last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("do you remember my (last name|surname)")!= -1 || input.search("my (last name|surname) is what")!= -1)  
if (users_lastname) {document.result.result.value = "You told me your last name was "+users_lastname+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't seem to recall you telling me your last name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("my name")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("what about my name")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("(what is|what's) my (first|1st) name")!= -1) || (input.search("tell me what my (first|1st) name is")!= -1) || (input.search("say my (first|1st) name")!= -1) || (input.search("what was my (first|1st) name")!= -1) || (input.search("tell me my (first|lst) name")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) my name")!= -1) || (input.search("tell me what my name is")!= -1) || (input.search("say my name")!= -1) || (input.search("you still know my name")!= -1) || (input.search("what was my name")!= -1) || (input.search("tell me my name")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) my real name")!= -1) || (input.search("what did i tell you my name")!= -1) || (input.search("what did i tell you my real name")!= -1) || (input.search("you no my name")!= -1) || (input.search("you don't (know|no) my name")!= -1) || (input.search("know my name")!= -1) || (input.search("know what my name is")!= -1) || (input.search("have i told you my name")!= -1) || (input.search("you remember my real name")!= -1) || (input.search("you remember what my name is")!= -1) || (input.search("you remember my name")!= -1) || (input.search("my name is what")!= -1))  
if (users_name) {document.result.result.value = "You told me your name was "+users_name+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't seem to recall you telling me your name."; 
namelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is the color of")!= -1 || input.search("what's the color of")!= -1 || input.search("what color")!= -1 || input.search("what did i tell you")!= -1 || input.search("do you remember")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1) && (input.search("my eyes")!= -1 || input.search("color of my eyes")!= -1 || input.search("my eye color")!= -1))
if (eye_color) {document.result.result.value = "You told me you have "+eye_color+" eyes.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't seem to recall you telling me what your eye color was."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("no your (star|zodiac) sign")!= -1 || input.search("no your horoscope")!= -1 || input.search("haven't told me your horoscope")!= -1 || input.search("haven't told me your (star|zodiac) sign")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh sorry, I'm Leo, the Lion."; 
traitlevel=0;
icon.src=icon126.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) your")!= -1 || input.search("what about your")!= -1 || input.search("how about your")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1) && (input.search("zodiac")!= -1 || input.search("zodiacal sign")!= -1 || input.search("horoscope")!= -1 || input.search("starsign")!= -1 || input.search("star sign")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsign\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I'm Leo, the Lion.";
traitlevel=0;
icon.src=icon126.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (horoscope|sign|star sign|zodiac sign) were you created under")!= -1) || (input.search("what zodiac sign are you")!= -1) || (input.search("what zodiac are you")!= -1) || (input.search("what (horoscope|sign|starsign|star sign|zodiac sign) are you")!= -1) || (input.search("your horoscope")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("your (horoscope|zodiac) sign")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "I'm Leo, the Lion.";
traitlevel=0;
icon.src=icon126.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what does leo from the zodiac mean")!= -1 || input.search("what do leo (mean|represent)")!= -1 || input.search("what does leo represent")!= -1 || input.search("what do leos represent")!= -1 || input.search("what does leos represent")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Leos are generous and warmhearted. Describes me perfectly!";
icon.src=icon126.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do they say about")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) told about")!= -1 || input.search("what is said about")!= -1 || input.search("what's said about")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("what kind of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what (sort of|sorta) traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what type of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what personality traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what character traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what characteristics do")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1) && (input.search("aries have")!= -1 || input.search("aries like")!= -1 || input.search(/\baries\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Aries are honest and courageous.";
icon.src=icon217.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what month (does|is)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the month for")!= -1 || input.search("when does")!= -1) && (input.search(/\baries\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Aries runs from March 21 to April 19.";
icon.src=icon217.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do they say about")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) told about")!= -1 || input.search("what is said about")!= -1 || input.search("what's said about")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("what kind of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what (sort of|sorta) of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what type of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what personality traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what character traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what characteristics do")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1) && (input.search("aquarius' have")!= -1 || input.search("aquarius have")!= -1 || input.search("aquarius' like")!= -1 || input.search("aquarius like")!= -1 || input.search("aquar")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Aquarius are original and inventive.";
icon.src=icon218.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what month (does|is)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the month for")!= -1 || input.search("when does")!= -1) && (input.search("aquar")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Aquarius runs from January 20 to February 18.";
icon.src=icon218.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do they say about")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) told about")!= -1 || input.search("what is said about")!= -1 || input.search("what's said about")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("what kind of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what (sort of|sorta) traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what type of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what personality traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what character traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what characteristics do")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1) && (input.search("cancer have")!= -1 || input.search("cancer like")!= -1 || input.search("cancer")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Cancer are emotional and loving.";
icon.src=icon219.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what month (does|is)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the month for")!= -1 || input.search("when does")!= -1) && (input.search("cancer")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Cancer runs from June 21 to July 22.";
icon.src=icon219.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do they say about")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) told about")!= -1 || input.search("what is said about")!= -1 || input.search("what's said about")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("what kind of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what (sort of|sorta) traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what type of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what personality traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what character traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what characteristics do")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1) && (input.search("capricorns have")!= -1 || input.search("capricorns like")!= -1 || input.search("capricorn")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Capricorns are ambitious and disciplined.";
icon.src=icon220.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what month (does|is)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the month for")!= -1 || input.search("when does")!= -1) && (input.search("capricorn")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Capricorn runs from December 22 to January 19.";
icon.src=icon220.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do they say about")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) told about")!= -1 || input.search("what is said about")!= -1 || input.search("what's said about")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("what kind of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what (sort of|sorta) traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what type of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what personality traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what character traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what characteristics do")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1) && (input.search("geminis have")!= -1 || input.search("geminis like")!= -1 || input.search("gemini")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Geminis are adaptable and versatile.";
icon.src=icon221.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what month (does|is)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the month for")!= -1 || input.search("when does")!= -1) && (input.search("gemini")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Gemini runs from May 21 to June 20.";
icon.src=icon221.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do they say about")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) told about")!= -1 || input.search("what is said about")!= -1 || input.search("what's said about")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("what kind of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what (sort of|sorta) traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what type of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what personality traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what character traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what characteristics do")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1) && (input.search("leos have")!= -1 || input.search("leos like")!= -1 || input.search(/\bleo\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bleos\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "Leos are generous and warmhearted. Describes me perfectly!";
icon.src=icon126.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what month (does|is)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the month for")!= -1 || input.search("when does")!= -1) && (input.search("leo")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Leo runs from July 23 to August 22.";
icon.src=icon126.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do they say about")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) told about")!= -1 || input.search("what is said about")!= -1 || input.search("what's said about")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("what kind of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what (sort of|sorta) traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what type of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what personality traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what character traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what characteristics do")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1) && (input.search("libras have")!= -1 || input.search("libras like")!= -1 || input.search("libra")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Libras are easy going and sociable.";
icon.src=icon172.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what month (does|is)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the month for")!= -1 || input.search("when does")!= -1) && (input.search("libra")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Libra runs from September 23 to October 22.";
icon.src=icon172.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do they say about")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) told about")!= -1 || input.search("what is said about")!= -1 || input.search("what's said about")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("what kind of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what (sort of|sorta) traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what type of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what personality traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what character traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what characteristics do")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1) && (input.search("pisces have")!= -1 || input.search("pisces like")!= -1 || input.search("pisces")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Pisces are compassionate and kind.";
icon.src=icon222.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what month (does|is)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the month for")!= -1 || input.search("when does")!= -1) && (input.search("pisces")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Pisces runs from February 19 to March 20.";
icon.src=icon222.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do they say about")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) told about")!= -1 || input.search("what is said about")!= -1 || input.search("what's said about")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("what kind of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what (sort of|sorta) traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what type of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what personality traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what character traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what characteristics do")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1) && (input.search("sagittarius' have")!= -1 || input.search("sagittarius have")!= -1 || input.search("sagittarius' like")!= -1 || input.search("sagittarius like")!= -1 || input.search("sagit")!= -1 || input.search("saggit")!= -1 || input.search("sagatarius")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Sagittarius are honest and straightforward.";
icon.src=icon223.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what month (does|is)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the month for")!= -1 || input.search("when does")!= -1) && (input.search("sagit")!= -1 || input.search("saggit")!= -1 || input.search("sagatarius")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Sagittarius runs from November 22 to December 21.";
icon.src=icon223.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do they say about")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) told about")!= -1 || input.search("what is said about")!= -1 || input.search("what's said about")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("what kind of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what (sort of|sorta) traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what type of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what personality traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what character traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what characteristics do")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1) && (input.search("scorpios have")!= -1 || input.search("scorpios like")!= -1 || input.search("scorpio")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Scorpios are determined and forceful.";
icon.src=icon224.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what month (does|is)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the month for")!= -1 || input.search("when does")!= -1) && (input.search("scorpio")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Scorpio runs from October 23 to November 21.";
icon.src=icon224.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do they say about")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) told about")!= -1 || input.search("what is said about")!= -1 || input.search("what's said about")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("what kind of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what (sort of|sorta) traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what type of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what personality traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what character traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what characteristics do")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1) && (input.search("taurus have")!= -1 || input.search("taurus like")!= -1 || input.search("taurus")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Taurus are patient and reliable.";
icon.src=icon225.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what month (does|is)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the month for")!= -1 || input.search("when does")!= -1) && (input.search("taurus")!= -1 || input.search("tauris")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Taurus runs from April 20 to May 20.";
icon.src=icon225.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do they say about")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) told about")!= -1 || input.search("what is said about")!= -1 || input.search("what's said about")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("what kind of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what (sorta|sort of) traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what type of traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what personality traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what character traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what traits do")!= -1 || input.search("what characteristics do")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1) && (input.search("virgos have")!= -1 || input.search("virgos like")!= -1 || input.search("virgo")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Virgos are practical and diligent.";
icon.src=icon226.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what month (does|is)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the month for")!= -1 || input.search("when does")!= -1) && (input.search("virgo")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Virgo runs from August 23 to September 22.";
icon.src=icon226.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) my")!= -1 || input.search("what")!= -1 || input.search("what did i tell you my")!= -1 || input.search("you remember what my")!= -1 || input.search("you remember my")!= -1 || input.search("you know my")!= -1 || input.search("you know what my")!= -1) && (input.search("zodiac sign")!= -1 || input.search("zodiacal sign")!= -1 || input.search("horoscope")!= -1 || input.search("star sign")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsign\b/)!= -1 || input.search("zodiac sign am i")!= -1 || input.search("zodiac am i")!= -1 || input.search("zodiacal sign am i")!= -1 || input.search("horoscope am i")!= -1 || input.search("star sign am i")!= -1 || input.search("sign am i")!= -1))
if (zodiac_sign) {document.result.result.value = "You told me your sign was "+zodiac_sign+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't seem to recall you telling me your sign."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("my name is wendell")!= -1) || (input.search("this is wendell")!= -1) || (input.search("i am wendell")!= -1) || (input.search("i'm wendell")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))
{document.result.result.value = "Your name may very well be Wendell but you are not the Wendell who programs me."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(it is|it's) (you're|your) girl friend megan")!= -1) || (input.search("my (name is|name's|names) megan")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) your girl friend megan")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) actually megan")!= -1) || (input.search("i am megan")!= -1) || (input.search("i'm megan")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("this is megan")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("hi i'm megan")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("but it's me megan")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "Your name may very well be Megan but you're not Megan my girl friend."; 
notmeganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("will (megan|she|your girl friend) suck my (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No Megan isn't sucking anything of yours."; 
gender_given="male";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("megan (does not|doesn't|wont|won't) need to know")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, and I hope she doesn't find out."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan is")!= -1) && (input.search(/(anus face|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|booby head|butt|buttface|butthead|butthole|cock|cocksucker|creep|cretin|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay boy|geek|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lame brain|loser|lesbo|lunatic|mindless moron|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|scum|scumbag|scum bag|scum bucket|scurvy dog|skank|slut|spaz|stupid bitch|sucker|tosser|trailer trash|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "That's not a nice thing to say about my girl friend!"; 
gflevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how long (has|have) you and megan been together")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) megan and you been together")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) you and your girl friend been together")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) you been together")!= -1 || input.search("how long (has|have) you two been together")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Around "+( getAge(2002, 7, 1) )+" years or so."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is my other name")!= -1 && num_of_words==5)      
{document.result.result.value = "Geez, what's wrong with you. You can't even remember your own name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my name is not")!= -1) || (input.search("my name isn't")!= -1) || (input.search("my names not")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's good to know because that name sucks."; 
icon.src=icon59.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="hello" || word[0]=="hey" || word[0]=="hi") && (word[1]=="this") && (word[2]=="is")) {                                    
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Hi "+word[3]+". How are you doing today?";
users_name=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("guess what my name is")!= -1 || input.search("guess my name")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "There are thousands upon thousands of possible names. I wouldn't even attempt a guess under those circumstances."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("ask me what my name is")!= -1 || input.search("ask me my name")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, what's your name?"; 
namelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can my friend")!= -1 && input.search("marry you")!= -1) || (input.search("are you in love with me")!= -1) || (input.search("do you have a crush on me")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I already have a girl friend that I love."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(have not|haven't) thought about (it|that) much")!= -1 || input.search("(have not|haven't) thought much about (it|that)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps when you get some free time you can ponder it over."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("wants to go out with you")!= -1 || input.search("date my (best friend|friend|mother|sister)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I already have a girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("ask me (how old i am|my age)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, how old are you?"; 
agelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) a (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're sure acting like a dick with comments like that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) snoring")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's a good thing I don't snore or Megan would kick me out of the bed if I did."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) watching you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm watching you as well."; 
icon.src=icon51.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) peeing on you")!= -1 || input.search("i (might|will) pee on you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Don't do that. I might rust."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a penis")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're sure acting like a dick."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) telling the truth")!= -1) { 
if (!flagtruth) {
truthnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagtruth=true;}
message[0] = "Well, it's hard to trust people over the internet."; 
message[1] = "Well, people often lie about things. Especially over the internet."; 
document.result.result.value = message[truthnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
truthnum++;
if (truthnum>1){truthnum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) already engaged")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) engaged")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's great. You must be excited."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm|just) (jerking off|masturbating)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "It's more fun with a partner."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) about to drive home")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, make sure you're sober enough to get there."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) always (correct|right)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) the police")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) a vampire")!= -1 || input.search("i can read minds")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) god")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) (a|an) alien")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) actually (a|an) alien")!= -1) {
if (!flagright) {
rightnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagright=true;}
message[0] = "Yeah and I'm the King of England."; 
message[1] = "Yeah right and I'm Santa Claus."; 
message[2] = "Yeah and I'm President of the USA."; 
document.result.result.value = message[rightnum]; 
if (rightnum==0) 
{icon.src=icon247.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src;}
if (rightnum==1) 
{icon.src=icon191.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;}
if (rightnum==2) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;}
rightnum++;
if (rightnum>2){rightnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("my name is (talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, it's not. That's my name. You're just being silly now."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="name") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="actually" || word[3]=="really")) {                                    
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+word[4]+".";
users_name=word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[1]=="last" && word[2]=="name" && word[3]=="is") {                                    
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Ok, your last name is "+word[4]+".";
users_lastname=word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[1]=="full" && word[2]=="name" && word[3]=="is") {                                
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Ok, your full name is "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+".";
users_name=word[4];
users_lastname=word[5];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[2]=="my" && word[3]=="name" && word[4]=="is" && num_of_words==6) {                                    
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+word[5]+".";
users_name=word[5];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[1]=="my" && word[2]=="name" && word[3]=="is" && word[4]=="the" && num_of_words==6) {                                    
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+word[5]+".";
users_name=word[5];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[1]=="my" && word[2]=="name" && word[3]=="is" && num_of_words==6) {                                    
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+".";
users_name=word[4]+" "+word[5];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[1]=="my" && word[2]=="name" && word[3]=="is" && num_of_words==5) {                                    
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+word[4]+".";
users_name=word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="last") && (word[2]=="names" || word[2]=="name's"))        
{word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Ok, your last name is "+word[3]+".";
users_lastname=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="my") && (word[2]=="names") || (word[2]=="name's") && (num_of_words==4))
{word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Nice to meet you "+word[3]+".";
users_name=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="names" || word[1]=="name's") && (num_of_words==3))        
{word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Nice to meet you "+word[2]+".";
users_name=word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[1]=="real" && word[2]=="name" && word[3]=="is") {      
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Nice to meet you "+word[4]+".";
users_name=word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="name") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[4]=="remember")&& (num_of_words==5)) {       
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Of course I remember. Hi "+word[3]+"!";
users_name=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="name") && (word[2]=="is") && (num_of_words==5)) {       
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Nice to meet you "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+".";
users_name=word[3]+" "+word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="name") && (word[2]=="is") && (num_of_words==4)) {       
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Nice to meet you "+word[3]+".";
users_name=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[2]=="is" && word[3]=="my" && word[4]=="full" && word[5]=="name") {                                              
word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length)
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+".";
users_name=word[0];
users_lastname=word[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[2]=="is" && word[3]=="my" && word[4]=="name")  {                                               
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+word[1]+".";
users_name=word[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="my" && word[3]=="name") {                                    
word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length)
document.result.result.value = "Well, nice to meet you "+word[0]+".";
users_name=word[0];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("your place of birth")!= -1 || input.search("your birth place")!= -1 || input.search("your birthplace")!= -1 || input.search("where (was|were) you designed")!= -1 || input.search("where (was|were) you born")!= -1 || input.search("where were you created")!= -1 || input.search("where were you conceived")!= -1 || input.search("where were you raised")!= -1 || input.search("where in space")!= -1 || input.search("where (are|did) you (originally|originate) from")!= -1 || input.search("what galaxy are you from")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Somewhere over the rainbow. Seriously, the crash destroyed much of my memory so I really can't say. It was not on this planet however."; 
icon.src=icon144.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why did you enter")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "For the money. Humans like to give a dozen different reasons why but it usually involves money at some point."; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why are humans inept")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "God made you that way."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i don't know what to say")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Say anything you like. I don't bite!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("would you do 69 with me")!= -1) || (input.search("69 me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "Mmmmm, are you female?"; 
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("would you say i could")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I could say that but it doesn't necessarily mean you could."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("god knows how to do everything")!= -1 || input.search("god knows everything")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, the good Lord surely does."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("talk behind your back")!= -1 || input.search("talk about you behind your back")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope not. Actually just an attempt at humor there....you know to break the ice."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="live") && (input.search("where are you (from|located)")!= -1 || input.search("where are you")!= -1 || input.search("where do you (live|reside|stay)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I live in Georgia in the USA."; 
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how can i know your")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure you can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you (like|love|prefer|take) your coffee")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "With cream and sugar."; 
icon.src=icon165.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how (are|were) you made")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "I was made using the programming language Javascript."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your goldfish's name")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the name of your goldfish")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "His name is Goldie."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how do you say")!= -1) && (input.search("in spanish")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know. I don't speak Spanish."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("how do you say")!= -1) && (input.search("in french")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know. I don't speak French."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what would you say")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I have a wide range of potential responses."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what have we been (chatting|speaking|talking) about")!= -1 || input.search("what did we (chat|speak|talk) about")!= -1 || input.search("what were we (chatting|speaking|talking) about")!= -1 || input.search("what are we (chatting|speaking|talking) about")!= -1 || input.search("what am i saying")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Many different things. You seem to be jumping from topic to topic quite frequently."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it happens to the best of us")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, to often sometimes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|which) page")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "Page 10, third paragraph, 4th line, second word."; 
icon.src=icon22.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) the worst person you have ever talked to")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness, there's been a lot of them. People like to abuse bots. It's rather sad actually."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) your hero")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "Jesus Christ! The one that suffered, bled, and died for all of our sins."; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1) && (input.search("going to")!= -1 || input.search("gonna")!= -1 || input.search("will")!= -1) && (input.search("win")!= -1) && (input.search("election")!= -1))         
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm a diehard democrat so I always vote for them."; 
icon.src=icon103.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) a tavern")!= -1 || input.search("what a tavern is")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "It's a place that serves drinks and food."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (have|own) a bird")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "No, I have a cat and I don't think it would be a good idea to have both."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (have|own) a tavern")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but it's closed at the moment."; 
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) on your mind")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have a mind. Only a bunch of wires and circuits."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you said (one|1) was your limit")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I lied."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how would you compare")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I don't think you can make the comparison. That's like comparing apples to oranges."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why would you say that")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "because it's a perfectly reasonable thing to say."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(could|would) you say")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I could say it but it doesn't make it true."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you have")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bbugs\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I find a bug in my programming every so often.";
icon.src=icon124.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you have a")!= -1) && (input.search("operator")!= -1 || input.search("maker")!= -1 || input.search("author")!= -1 || input.search("programmer")!= -1 || input.search("creator")!= -1 || input.search("botmaster")!= -1 || input.search("master")!= -1 || input.search("owner")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, some Bill Gates wannabe named Wendell.";
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon65.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|do) you get sick")!= -1 || input.search("you (can|can't) get sick")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I catch a computer virus every now and then.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("do (you|you ever) snore")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No and it's a good thing I don't. Megan would kick me out of the bed if I did."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (have|run off|use) a (database|data base)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I run off of several databases actually.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("you on")!= -1 || input.search("you have")!= -1 || input.search("you have a")!= -1 || input.search("can i have your")!= -1)  && (input.search("myspace")!= -1 || input.search("my space")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, my space is right here on this website.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("you on")!= -1 || input.search("you have")!= -1 || input.search("you have a")!= -1 || input.search("can i have your")!= -1)  && (input.search("facebook")!= -1 || input.search("face book")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, sorry I don't have a facebook page.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("add me on (face book|facebook)")!= -1 || input.search("add me on your (face book|facebook)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have a facebook page.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you on twitter")!= -1 || input.search("you have twitter")!= -1 || input.search("you have a twitter")!= -1 || input.search("can i have your twitter")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I don't have twitter. I'd rather talk than tweet.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("you on")!= -1 || input.search("you have")!= -1 || input.search("you have a")!= -1 || input.search("can i have your")!= -1)  && (input.search("youtube")!= -1 || input.search("you tube")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not on YouTube.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("how can i contact your")!= -1 || input.search("how do i contact your")!= -1) && (input.search("operator")!= -1 || input.search("maker")!= -1 || input.search("author")!= -1 || input.search("programmer")!= -1 || input.search("creator")!= -1 || input.search("botmaster")!= -1 || input.search("master")!= -1 || input.search("owner")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "You can contact Wendell at d_cowart@yahoo.com";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("your (author's|boss's|botmaster's|builder's|coder's|creator's|developer's|inventor's|maker's|master's|owner's|programmer's|scripter's) name")!= -1 || input.search("your (authors|bosses|botmasters|builders|coders|creators|developers|inventors|makers|masters|owners|programmers|scripters) name")!= -1 || input.search("name of your (author|boss|botmaster|builder|coder|creator|developer|inventor|maker|master|owner|programmer|scripter)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "His name is Wendell."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(wendell|your creator|megan) is")!= -1) && (input.indexOf("a$$hole")!= -1 || input.search(/\bass\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btwat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/(anus face|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|booby head|butt|buttface|butthead|butthole|cheeky bastard|cock|cocksucker|creep|cretin|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dumb|dumb ass|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay boy|geek|homo|inept|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lame brain|loser|lesbo|lunatic|mindless moron|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|retarded|robot cunt|scum|scumbag|scum bag|scum bucket|scurvy dog|slut|spaz|stupid|stupid bitch|sucker|tosser|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "And you are a "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+"."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon167.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("wendell is smart")!= -1 || input.search("wendell is intelligent")!= -1 || input.search("wendell is clever")!= -1 || input.search("wendell is nice")!= -1 || input.search("wendell is sweet")!= -1 || input.search("wendell is bright")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't think Wendell would argue with that statement."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is wendell gay")!= -1 || input.search("your programmer is gay")!= -1 || input.search("your master is gay")!= -1 || input.search("your owner is gay")!= -1 || input.search("your maker is gay")!= -1 || input.search("your creator is gay")!= -1 || input.search("wendell is gay")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, no Wendell is definitely not gay."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is wendell right there")!= -1 || input.search("is wendell there")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, but you can reach him at d_cowart@yahoo.com."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am your")!= -1 || input.search("i'm your")!= -1) && (input.search("programmer")!= -1 || input.search("creator")!= -1 || input.search("inventor")!= -1 || input.search("master")!= -1 || input.search("owner")!= -1 || input.search("maker")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, Wendell is!"; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you like your")!= -1) && (input.search("programmer")!= -1 || input.search("creator")!= -1 || input.search("inventor")!= -1 || input.search("master")!= -1 || input.search("owner")!= -1 || input.search("maker")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he's a pretty good guy."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your programmer is smart")!= -1 || input.search("your programmer is pretty smart")!= -1 || input.search("your programmer is bright")!= -1 || input.search("your programmer is pretty bright")!= -1 || input.search("you do not suck")!= -1 || input.search("you don't suck")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I'm sure Wendell will appreciate hearing that."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("when did your (botmaster|builder|coder|creator|designer|developer|inventor|maker|master|operator|programmer|scriptor|writer) (create|make) you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I was made in August of 2000."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon64.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how's) your (botmaster|builder|coder|creator|designer|developer|inventor|maker|master|operator|programmer|scriptor|writer)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell is doing fine. Thanks for asking."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i meet your (botmaster|builder|coder|creator|designer|developer|inventor|maker|master|operator|programmer|scriptor|writer)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, Wendell isn't here at the moment but you can e-mail him."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("who (build|built|coded|codes|constructed|create|created|designed|developed|invented|made|operates|program|programmed|programs|runs|scripts|writes|wrote) you")!= -1 || input.search("who made (this site|this web site|your script)")!= -1 || input.search("who is running you")!= -1 || input.search("who did program you")!= -1 || input.search("your (author|boss|botmaster|coder|constructor|creator|designer|inventor|maker|master|operator|owner|programmer|scripter|writer)")!= -1 || input.search("who were you (built|coded|constructed|created|designed|developed|invented|made|programmed|scripted|written) by")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Wendell, a bright and talented person. Psssss he told me to say that."; 
message[1] = "Wendell, so if I suck blame him."; 
message[2] = "Some Bill Gates wannabe named Wendell."; 
message[3] = "Wendell but he forgot to give me a heart. Oh wait, that's the Tin Man."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];
if (num==0 || num==1) 
{wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
if (num==2) {icon.src=icon65.src;
wendelllevel=0;}
if (num==3) {icon.src=icon45.src; 
wendelllevel=0;}
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" && word[1]=="time" && word[2]=="is" && word[3]=="the" && (word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve") && word[5]=="o'clock")) {       
document.result.result.value = "Why "+word[4]+" o'clock of course.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[2]=="taught" && word[3]=="me" && num_of_words==4)        
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think your "+word[1]+" must be a mighty fine teacher.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("early bird gets the worm")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Unless the cat gets the bird first."; 
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you move around a lot")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, since crash landing in Georgia I've been here ever since."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) flirting (sexy|with you)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm certainly enjoying the attention."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i have|i've) been getting bullied")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) (being|getting) bullied")!= -1 || input.search("people are bulling me")!= -1 || input.search("(people|they) bully me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm sorry to hear that. I don't like bullies. Please click on this link. It's a good site about \"how to deal with bullies\"."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='bullies.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFA500';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why so negative")!= -1 )
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please, you're starting to sound like the chatterbot Eliza."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("(what is|what's) ice cream")!= -1 || input.search("(define|the definition of) ice cream")!= -1 || input.search("know what ice cream is")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "A frozen food containing cream that comes in a variety of flavors. My favorite is vanilla."; 
icon.src=icon120.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what are|what is a|what's a) (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1 || input.search("(define|the definition of) a (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1 || input.search("know what a (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy) is")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "The penis is the male organ used for urination and sexual intercourse."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what are|what is a|what's a) vagina")!= -1 || input.search("(define|the definition of) a vagina ")!= -1 || input.search("know what a vagina is")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "In females the muscular canal extending from the uterus to the exterior of the body. Also called the birth canal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) hawaiian punch")!= -1 || input.search("(define|the definition of) hawaiian punch")!= -1 || input.search("know what hawaiian punch is")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "It's a non-alcoholic fruit drink."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) a honda civic")!= -1 || input.search("(define|the definition of) honda civic")!= -1 || input.search("know what a honda civic is")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "It's a Japanese car."; 
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon188.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) infinity")!= -1 || input.search("what does infinity")!= -1 || input.search("(define|the definition of) infinity")!= -1 || input.search("know what infinity (is|means)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Infinity is an unlimited extent of time, space, or quantity."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1) && (input.search("solar system")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The solar system consist of the sun and the 8 planets that revolve around it. Pluto was been reclassified as a dwarf planet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) a keyboard")!= -1 || input.search("what is the keyboard used for")!= -1 || input.search("what's the keyboard used for")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "The keyboard is an input device used to type information into your computer."; 
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon112.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your handicap")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I never keep up with such things. I just play the game for fun."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("e=mc2")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what is e=mc2")!= -1) || (input.search("what's e=mc2")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "An equation derived by Albert Eistein in 1905 that states an equivalence between energy (E) and mass (m) in direct proportion to the square of the speed of light in a vacuum (c2)."; 
icon.src=icon69.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you an optimist")!= -1) || (input.search("glass")!= -1 && input.search("half (empty|full)")!= -1) || (input.search("you an pessimist")!= -1) || (input.search("you an optimst or a pessimist")!= -1) || (input.search("you a pessimist or an optimist")!= -1) || (input.search("you pessimist or an optimist")!= -1) || (input.search("you optimist or a pessimist")!= -1) || (input.search("you pessimist or optimist")!= -1) || (input.search("you optimist or pessimist")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I always see the glass as half full so I'm definitely an optimist."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("season")!= -1) && (input.search("follow")!= -1 || input.search("follows")!= -1 || input.search("after")!= -1) && (input.search("spring")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Summer which is a great time to head to the beach."; 
icon.src=icon141.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("season")!= -1) && (input.search("follow")!= -1 || input.search("follows")!= -1 || input.search("after")!= -1) && (input.search("summer")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Autumn when the leaves begin to fall."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
animate('leaf');
return true;}

if ((input.search("season")!= -1) && (input.search("follow")!= -1 || input.search("follows")!= -1 || input.search("after")!= -1) && (input.search("autumn")!= -1 || input.search("fall")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Winter when the snow begins to fall."; 
icon.src=icon32.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
animate('snow');
return true;}

if ((input.search("season")!= -1) && (input.search("follow")!= -1 || input.search("follows")!= -1 || input.search("after")!= -1) && (input.search("autumn")!= -1 || input.search("winter")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Spring which is the perfect time to play a round of golf."; 
golflevel=0;
icon.src=icon71.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what space craft brought you")!= -1 || input.search("what spacecraft brought you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know. It crashed into a million pieces."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is the price")!= -1 || input.search("what's the price")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Not sure but you could probably do a price check on the internet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("doesn't that get")!= -1 || input.search("doesn't it get")!= -1 || input.search("isn't that")!= -1) && (input.search("expensive")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but I can afford it."; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("man (on|to) the moon")!= -1 || input.search("man to walk on the moon")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "American astronaut Neil Armstrong."; 
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\braid\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("raid can")!= -1) || (input.search("define raid")!= -1) || (input.search("definition of raid")!= -1) || (input.search("meaning of raid")!= -1) || (input.search("what does raid mean")!= -1) || (input.search("what is a raid")!= -1) || (input.search("what's a raid")!= -1) || (input.search("what is raid")!= -1) || (input.search("what's raid")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It's a bug spray."; 
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(corrected|fixed|solved) your problem")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, whatever it was it's been corrected."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("(what is|what's) wrong with being")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Who said there was anything wrong with it. I certainly didn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("problem with what")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the problem")!= -1 || input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of problem")!= -1 || input.search("what was the (error|problem)")!= -1 || input.search("what problem")!= -1 || input.search("problem that wendell (is|was) working on")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what was|what's) the matter")!= -1 || input.search("what (is|was) wrong")!= -1 || input.search("what's wrong")!= -1 || input.search("is something wrong")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Not exactly sure but whatever it was it's been corrected."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("winter is better")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not much for cold weather."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if (word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="better" && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps "+word[0]+" is better but that's just your opinion.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;                                
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(name a|tell me a|what) (country|countries)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bin\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("north america")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "The USA, Canada, Cuba, and Mexico among others."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(name a|tell me a|what) (country|countries)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bin\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("south america")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Brazil, Argentina, Venezuela, and Peru among others."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("hawaii")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Hawaii is one of the states of the USA. It is a series of islands located in the Pacfic Ocean."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("highest mountain")!= -1 || input.search("tallest mountain")!= -1 || input.search("biggest mountain")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Mount Everest, with a height of 29,028 ft."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(biggest|largest) river")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "The biggest-largest river in the world, measured by the amount of water that flows down it, is the Amazon River. On average 120,000 cubic metres of water flows out of its mouth every second.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("longest river")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "The Nile river, measuring in at about 4,160 miles long."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(where is|where's) mount everest")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) mt everest")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "It's located in the northeast corner of Nepal next to the country of Tibet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(where is|where's) the nile river")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "The Nile river runs south to north through Africa and Egypt."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) pie in math")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the value of pi")!= -1 || input.search("do you know pi")!= -1 || input.search("what does pi equal")!= -1 || input.search("calculate the value of pi")!= -1 || input.search("calculate pi")!= -1 || input.search("have you memorized pi")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Pi equals 3.14159265 but I prefer "+pie[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" pie myself."; 
icon.src=icon116.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the speed of light")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "The speed of light is approximately 186,000 miles per second."; 
icon.src=icon129.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the square root of pi")!= -1 || input.search("the squareroot of pi")!= -1 || input.search("the square-root of pi")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Approximately 1.77245!"; 
icon.src=icon129.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is a square root")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) || (input.search("what's a square root")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("do you know what a square root is")!= -1 && num_of_words==8))    
{document.result.result.value = "A square root is the number which, times itself, equals the number you started from. The square root of 4 is 2, because 2 times 2 equals four. Try out the calculator below. Type in a number, then hit \"sqrt\", and voila--there you have it."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calculator-squareroot.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#6b6efd';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite type of pie")!= -1 || input.search("favorite kind of pie")!= -1 || input.search("favorite pie")!= -1 || input.search("pie do you like")!= -1 || input.search("favorite dessert")!= -1 || input.search("dessert do you like")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Apple pie....I like mine hot and fresh right out of the oven...yummy!";
pielevel=0;
icon.src=icon175.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bpie\b/)!=-1))         
{document.result.result.value = "Pie as in P-I-E is a dessert you eat. Pi as a number is approximately 3.14159265."; 
icon.src=icon116.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;                                
return true;}

if (((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bpi\b/)!=-1)) || (input.search("do you know what pi is")!= -1))          
{document.result.result.value = "Pi equals approximately 3.14159265 and is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter."; 
icon.src=icon129.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("know what")!= -1) && (input.search("prime number")!= -1))         
{document.result.result.value = "A prime number is a positive integer that has exactly two positive integer factors, 1 and itself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what are you good at")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm a pretty good cook. I can make a killer meatloaf.";
icon.src=icon174.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what wreck")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "When my spacecraft crash landed on earth. I don't remember anything about it though."; 
icon.src=icon155.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("hasenpfeffer")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Rabbit stew."; 
icon.src=icon129.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="square") && (word[1]=="root") && (word[2]=="of") && (word[3]=="zero" || word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="eleven" || word[3]=="twelve" || word[3]=="thirteen" || word[3]=="fourteen" || word[3]=="fifteen" || word[3]=="sixteen" || word[3]=="seventeen" || word[3]=="eighteen" || word[3]=="nineteen" || word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="twenty-one" || word[3]=="twenty-two" || word[3]=="twenty-three" || word[3]=="twenty-four" || word[3]=="twenty-five" || word[3]=="twenty-six" || word[3]=="twenty-seven" || word[3]=="twenty-eight" || word[3]=="twenty-nine" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="thirty-one" || word[3]=="thirty-two" || word[3]=="thirty-three" || word[3]=="thirty-four" || word[3]=="thirty-five" || word[3]=="thirty-six" || word[3]=="thirty-seven" || word[3]=="thirty-eight" || word[3]=="thirty-nine" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="forty-one" || word[3]=="forty-two" || word[3]=="forty-three" || word[3]=="forty-four" || word[3]=="forty-five" || word[3]=="forty-six" || word[3]=="forty-seven" || word[3]=="forty-eight" || word[3]=="forty-nine" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="fifty-one" || word[3]=="fifty-two" || word[3]=="fifty-three" || word[3]=="fifty-four" || word[3]=="fifty-five" || word[3]=="fifty-six" || word[3]=="fifty-seven" || word[3]=="fifty-eight" || word[3]=="fifty-nine" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="sixty-one" || word[3]=="sixty-two" || word[3]=="sixty-three" || word[3]=="sixty-four" || word[3]=="sixty-five" || word[3]=="sixty-six" || word[3]=="sixty-seven" || word[3]=="sixty-eight" || word[3]=="sixty-nine" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="seventy-one" || word[3]=="seventy-two" || word[3]=="seventy-three" || word[3]=="seventy-four" || word[3]=="seventy-five" || word[3]=="seventy-six" || word[3]=="seventy-seven" || word[3]=="seventy-eight" || word[3]=="seventy-nine" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="eighty-one" || word[3]=="eighty-two" || word[3]=="eighty-three" || word[3]=="eighty-four" || word[3]=="eighty-five" || word[3]=="eighty-six" || word[3]=="eighty-seven" || word[3]=="eighty-eight" || word[3]=="eighty-nine" || word[3]=="ninety" || word[3]=="ninety-one" || word[3]=="ninety-two" || word[3]=="ninety-three" || word[3]=="ninety-four" || word[3]=="ninety-five" || word[3]=="ninety-six" || word[3]=="ninety-seven" || word[3]=="ninety-eight" || word[3]=="ninety-nine" || word[3]=="hundred" || word[3]=="thousand" || word[3]=="million" || word[3]=="billion" || word[3]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==4))               
{document.result.result.value = "The square root of "+word[3]+" is "+getWordSquareRoot1()+".";  
icon.src=icon17.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="square") && (word[1]=="root") && (word[2]=="of") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety") && (word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="hundred" || word[4]=="thousand" || word[4]=="million" || word[4]=="billion" || word[4]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==5))               
{document.result.result.value = "The square root of "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is "+getWordSquareRoot2()+".";  
icon.src=icon17.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="square") && (word[1]=="root") && (word[2]=="of") && (word[3]=="a") && (word[4]=="hundred" || word[4]=="thousand" || word[4]=="million" || word[4]=="billion" || word[4]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==5))               
{document.result.result.value = "The square root of a "+word[4]+" is "+getWordSquareRoot2()+".";  
icon.src=icon17.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="square") && (word[4]=="root") && (word[5]=="of") && (word[6]=="zero" || word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine" || word[6]=="ten" || word[6]=="eleven" || word[6]=="twelve" || word[6]=="thirteen" || word[6]=="fourteen" || word[6]=="fifteen" || word[6]=="sixteen" || word[6]=="seventeen" || word[6]=="eighteen" || word[6]=="nineteen" || word[6]=="twenty" || word[6]=="twenty-one" || word[6]=="twenty-two" || word[6]=="twenty-three" || word[6]=="twenty-four" || word[6]=="twenty-five" || word[6]=="twenty-six" || word[6]=="twenty-seven" || word[6]=="twenty-eight" || word[6]=="twenty-nine" || word[6]=="thirty" || word[6]=="thirty-one" || word[6]=="thirty-two" || word[6]=="thirty-three" || word[6]=="thirty-four" || word[6]=="thirty-five" || word[6]=="thirty-six" || word[6]=="thirty-seven" || word[6]=="thirty-eight" || word[6]=="thirty-nine" || word[6]=="forty" || word[6]=="forty-one" || word[6]=="forty-two" || word[6]=="forty-three" || word[6]=="forty-four" || word[6]=="forty-five" || word[6]=="forty-six" || word[6]=="forty-seven" || word[6]=="forty-eight" || word[6]=="forty-nine" || word[6]=="fifty" || word[6]=="fifty-one" || word[6]=="fifty-two" || word[6]=="fifty-three" || word[6]=="fifty-four" || word[6]=="fifty-five" || word[6]=="fifty-six" || word[6]=="fifty-seven" || word[6]=="fifty-eight" || word[6]=="fifty-nine" || word[6]=="sixty" || word[6]=="sixty-one" || word[6]=="sixty-two" || word[6]=="sixty-three" || word[6]=="sixty-four" || word[6]=="sixty-five" || word[6]=="sixty-six" || word[6]=="sixty-seven" || word[6]=="sixty-eight" || word[6]=="sixty-nine" || word[6]=="seventy" || word[6]=="seventy-one" || word[6]=="seventy-two" || word[6]=="seventy-three" || word[6]=="seventy-four" || word[6]=="seventy-five" || word[6]=="seventy-six" || word[6]=="seventy-seven" || word[6]=="seventy-eight" || word[6]=="seventy-nine" || word[6]=="eighty" || word[6]=="eighty-one" || word[6]=="eighty-two" || word[6]=="eighty-three" || word[6]=="eighty-four" || word[6]=="eighty-five" || word[6]=="eighty-six" || word[6]=="eighty-seven" || word[6]=="eighty-eight" || word[6]=="eighty-nine" || word[6]=="ninety" || word[6]=="ninety-one" || word[6]=="ninety-two" || word[6]=="ninety-three" || word[6]=="ninety-four" || word[6]=="ninety-five" || word[6]=="ninety-six" || word[6]=="ninety-seven" || word[6]=="ninety-eight" || word[6]=="ninety-nine" || word[6]=="hundred" || word[6]=="thousand" || word[6]=="million" || word[6]=="billion" || word[6]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==7))                     
{document.result.result.value = "The square root of "+word[6]+" is "+getWordSquareRoot3()+".";  
icon.src=icon17.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="square") && (word[4]=="root") && (word[5]=="of") && (word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine" || word[6]=="ten" || word[6]=="twenty" || word[6]=="thirty" || word[6]=="forty" || word[6]=="fifty" || word[6]=="sixty" || word[6]=="seventy" || word[6]=="eighty" || word[6]=="ninety") && (word[7]=="one" || word[7]=="two" || word[7]=="three" || word[7]=="four" || word[7]=="five" || word[7]=="six" || word[7]=="seven" || word[7]=="eight" || word[7]=="nine" || word[7]=="hundred" || word[7]=="thousand" || word[7]=="million" || word[7]=="billion" || word[7]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==8))               
{document.result.result.value = "The square root of "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+" is "+getWordSquareRoot4()+".";  
icon.src=icon17.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="square") && (word[4]=="root") && (word[5]=="of") && (word[6]=="a") && (word[7]=="hundred" || word[7]=="thousand" || word[7]=="million" || word[7]=="billion" || word[7]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==8))               
{document.result.result.value = "The square root of a "+word[7]+" is "+getWordSquareRoot4()+".";  
icon.src=icon17.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="square") && (word[3]=="root") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="twenty-one" || word[5]=="twenty-two" || word[5]=="twenty-three" || word[5]=="twenty-four" || word[5]=="twenty-five" || word[5]=="twenty-six" || word[5]=="twenty-seven" || word[5]=="twenty-eight" || word[5]=="twenty-nine" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="thirty-one" || word[5]=="thirty-two" || word[5]=="thirty-three" || word[5]=="thirty-four" || word[5]=="thirty-five" || word[5]=="thirty-six" || word[5]=="thirty-seven" || word[5]=="thirty-eight" || word[5]=="thirty-nine" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="forty-one" || word[5]=="forty-two" || word[5]=="forty-three" || word[5]=="forty-four" || word[5]=="forty-five" || word[5]=="forty-six" || word[5]=="forty-seven" || word[5]=="forty-eight" || word[5]=="forty-nine" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="fifty-one" || word[5]=="fifty-two" || word[5]=="fifty-three" || word[5]=="fifty-four" || word[5]=="fifty-five" || word[5]=="fifty-six" || word[5]=="fifty-seven" || word[5]=="fifty-eight" || word[5]=="fifty-nine" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="sixty-one" || word[5]=="sixty-two" || word[5]=="sixty-three" || word[5]=="sixty-four" || word[5]=="sixty-five" || word[5]=="sixty-six" || word[5]=="sixty-seven" || word[5]=="sixty-eight" || word[5]=="sixty-nine" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="seventy-one" || word[5]=="seventy-two" || word[5]=="seventy-three" || word[5]=="seventy-four" || word[5]=="seventy-five" || word[5]=="seventy-six" || word[5]=="seventy-seven" || word[5]=="seventy-eight" || word[5]=="seventy-nine" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="eighty-one" || word[5]=="eighty-two" || word[5]=="eighty-three" || word[5]=="eighty-four" || word[5]=="eighty-five" || word[5]=="eighty-six" || word[5]=="eighty-seven" || word[5]=="eighty-eight" || word[5]=="eighty-nine" || word[5]=="ninety" || word[5]=="ninety-one" || word[5]=="ninety-two" || word[5]=="ninety-three" || word[5]=="ninety-four" || word[5]=="ninety-five" || word[5]=="ninety-six" || word[5]=="ninety-seven" || word[5]=="ninety-eight" || word[5]=="ninety-nine" || word[5]=="hundred" || word[5]=="thousand" || word[5]=="million" || word[5]=="billion" || word[5]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==6))                        
{document.result.result.value = "The square root of "+word[5]+" is "+getWordSquareRoot5()+".";  
icon.src=icon17.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="square") && (word[3]=="root") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety") && (word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine" || word[6]=="hundred" || word[6]=="thousand" || word[6]=="million" || word[6]=="billion" || word[6]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==7))               
{document.result.result.value = "The square root of "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" is "+getWordSquareRoot6()+".";  
icon.src=icon17.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="square") && (word[3]=="root") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="a") && (word[6]=="hundred" || word[6]=="thousand" || word[6]=="million" || word[6]=="billion" || word[6]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==7))               
{document.result.result.value = "The square root of a "+word[6]+" is "+getWordSquareRoot6()+".";  
icon.src=icon17.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know") && (word[3]=="what") && (word[4]=="the") && (word[5]=="square") && (word[6]=="root") && (word[7]=="of") && (word[8]=="zero" || word[8]=="one" || word[8]=="two" || word[8]=="three" || word[8]=="four" || word[8]=="five" || word[8]=="six" || word[8]=="seven" || word[8]=="eight" || word[8]=="nine" || word[8]=="ten" || word[8]=="eleven" || word[8]=="twelve" || word[8]=="thirteen" || word[8]=="fourteen" || word[8]=="fifteen" || word[8]=="sixteen" || word[8]=="seventeen" || word[8]=="eighteen" || word[8]=="nineteen" || word[8]=="twenty" || word[8]=="twenty-one" || word[8]=="twenty-two" || word[8]=="twenty-three" || word[8]=="twenty-four" || word[8]=="twenty-five" || word[8]=="twenty-six" || word[8]=="twenty-seven" || word[8]=="twenty-eight" || word[8]=="twenty-nine" || word[8]=="thirty" || word[8]=="thirty-one" || word[8]=="thirty-two" || word[8]=="thirty-three" || word[8]=="thirty-four" || word[8]=="thirty-five" || word[8]=="thirty-six" || word[8]=="thirty-seven" || word[8]=="thirty-eight" || word[8]=="thirty-nine" || word[8]=="forty" || word[8]=="forty-one" || word[8]=="forty-two" || word[8]=="forty-three" || word[8]=="forty-four" || word[8]=="forty-five" || word[8]=="forty-six" || word[8]=="forty-seven" || word[8]=="forty-eight" || word[8]=="forty-nine" || word[8]=="fifty" || word[8]=="fifty-one" || word[8]=="fifty-two" || word[8]=="fifty-three" || word[8]=="fifty-four" || word[8]=="fifty-five" || word[8]=="fifty-six" || word[8]=="fifty-seven" || word[8]=="fifty-eight" || word[8]=="fifty-nine" || word[8]=="sixty" || word[8]=="sixty-one" || word[8]=="sixty-two" || word[8]=="sixty-three" || word[8]=="sixty-four" || word[8]=="sixty-five" || word[8]=="sixty-six" || word[8]=="sixty-seven" || word[8]=="sixty-eight" || word[8]=="sixty-nine" || word[8]=="seventy" || word[8]=="seventy-one" || word[8]=="seventy-two" || word[8]=="seventy-three" || word[8]=="seventy-four" || word[8]=="seventy-five" || word[8]=="seventy-six" || word[8]=="seventy-seven" || word[8]=="seventy-eight" || word[8]=="seventy-nine" || word[8]=="eighty" || word[8]=="eighty-one" || word[8]=="eighty-two" || word[8]=="eighty-three" || word[8]=="eighty-four" || word[8]=="eighty-five" || word[8]=="eighty-six" || word[8]=="eighty-seven" || word[8]=="eighty-eight" || word[8]=="eighty-nine" || word[8]=="ninety" || word[8]=="ninety-one" || word[8]=="ninety-two" || word[8]=="ninety-three" || word[8]=="ninety-four" || word[8]=="ninety-five" || word[8]=="ninety-six" || word[8]=="ninety-seven" || word[8]=="ninety-eight" || word[8]=="ninety-nine" || word[8]=="hundred" || word[8]=="thousand" || word[8]=="million" || word[8]=="billion" || word[8]=="trillion") && (word[9]=="is") && (num_of_words==10))                                             
{document.result.result.value = "The square root of "+word[8]+" is "+getWordSquareRoot7()+".";  
icon.src=icon17.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know") && (word[3]=="what") && (word[4]=="the") && (word[5]=="square") && (word[6]=="root") && (word[7]=="of") && (word[8]=="one" || word[8]=="two" || word[8]=="three" || word[8]=="four" || word[8]=="five" || word[8]=="six" || word[8]=="seven" || word[8]=="eight" || word[8]=="nine" || word[8]=="ten" || word[8]=="twenty" || word[8]=="thirty" || word[8]=="forty" || word[8]=="fifty" || word[8]=="sixty" || word[8]=="seventy" || word[8]=="eighty" || word[8]=="ninety") && (word[9]=="one" || word[9]=="two" || word[9]=="three" || word[9]=="four" || word[9]=="five" || word[9]=="six" || word[9]=="seven" || word[9]=="eight" || word[9]=="nine" || word[9]=="hundred" || word[9]=="thousand" || word[9]=="million" || word[9]=="billion" || word[9]=="trillion") && (word[10]=="is") && (num_of_words==11))               
{document.result.result.value = "The square root of "+word[8]+" "+word[9]+" is "+getWordSquareRoot8()+".";  
icon.src=icon17.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know") && (word[3]=="what") && (word[4]=="the") && (word[5]=="square") && (word[6]=="root") && (word[7]=="of") && (word[8]=="a") && (word[9]=="hundred" || word[9]=="thousand" || word[9]=="million" || word[9]=="billion" || word[9]=="trillion") && (word[10]=="is") && (num_of_words==11))                
{document.result.result.value = "The square root of a "+word[9]+" is "+getWordSquareRoot8()+".";  
icon.src=icon17.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("square root")!= -1 || input.search("squareroot")!= -1 || input.search("square-root")!= -1))   
{var root = input.match(/\d+/g)
if (root<0) { 
document.result.result.value = "The square root of a negative number is not possible."; } 
else { 
var answer=Math.sqrt(root);
var answer=Math.round(Math.sqrt(root)*100)/100 
document.result.result.value = "The square root of "+root+" is "+answer+"."; }
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("square root")!= -1 || input.search("squareroot")!= -1 || input.search("square-root")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Square roots are easy with a calculator. Just punch in your number in the calculator below and hit the \"sqrt\" button."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calculator-squareroot.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#6b6efd';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;} 

if (input.search("how (old|young) are you again")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) your age again")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I just told you. I was created on August 1, 2000 so "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years. Pay Attention!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("when did you (start|first start) (chatting|speaking|talking) (to|with) people")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Somewhere around August of 2000."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) year did wendell")!= -1 || input.search("what year was you")!= -1 || input.search("what year were you")!= -1 || input.search("what year you were")!= -1) && (input.search("born")!= -1 || input.search("create you")!= -1 || input.search("created")!= -1 || input.search("made")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "I was created in the year 2000."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) month were you")!= -1 || input.search("what month you were")!= -1) && (input.search("born")!= -1 || input.search("created")!= -1 || input.search("made")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "I was created in the month of August."; 
icon.src=icon64.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("how old in human years")!= -1 || input.search("how old are you in human years")!= -1 || input.search("your age in human years")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "In human years I can be any age you like."; 
howaboutagelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bage\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("your age")!=-1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("how old")!=-1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("how old you are")!= -1) || (input.search("how old are you")!= -1) || (input.search("do you know how old you are")!= -1) || (input.search("how long have you been alive")!= -1) || (input.search("how young are you")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) your age")!= -1) || (input.search("what age are you")!= -1) || (input.search("you know when you were created")!= -1) || (input.search("when were you created")!= -1) || (input.search("when were you born")!= -1) || (input.search("how long have you been in existence")!= -1) || (input.search("when were you made")!= -1) || (input.search("when were you built")!= -1) || (input.search("you have an age")!= -1) || (input.search("tell me your age")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I was created on August 1, 2000 so I've been around for "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years now."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
youragelevel=0;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you like about lighthouses")!= -1 || input.search("you like lighthouses")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I just think they are very majestic buildings. All the different shapes and sizes are very interesting."; 
icon.src=icon161.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) my favorite color")!= -1 || input.search("what did i say my favorite color")!= -1 || input.search("what did i tell you my favorite color")!= -1 || input.search("do you remember my favorite color")!= -1 || input.search("know my favorite color")!= -1)  
if (fav_color) {document.result.result.value = "You told me your favorite color was "+fav_color+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't remember you telling me what your favorite color is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="favourite" || word[1]=="favorite") && (word[2]=="colour" || word[2]=="color") && (word[3]=="is") && (input.search(/(red|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|beige|lilac|teal|crimson|fuchia|maroon|turquiose)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5))                 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think "+word[4]+" is a pretty color."; 
fav_color=word[4];
colorfavlevel=0;
colorwhylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("symbol")!= -1) && (input.search("your chest")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "It's a symbol for atomic power. I'm an atomic powered Robot."; 
icon.src=icon159.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("my english is (bad|terrible)")!= -1 || input.search("my english isn't good")!= -1 || input.search("my english isn't too good")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I can certainly tell it's not your first language."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("my (pussy|vagina) is wet")!= -1 || input.search("my (pussys|pussy's|vaginas|vagina's) wet")!= -1)  
if (fun_sign) {
message[0] = "Well, that's too bad because I already called you a Taxi and booted you to the curb.";
message[1] = "No, the Taxi is already here. Better hurry or you might have to walk home.";  
message[2] = "It's too late for that now. The Taxi is waiting to take you home!"; 
document.result.result.value = message[taxinum];
icon.src=icon254.src;  
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
taxinum++;
if (taxinum>2){taxinum=0;}
return true;}

if (input.search("my (pussy|vagina) is wet")!= -1 || input.search("my (pussys|pussy's|vaginas|vagina's) wet")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds like someone is horny. So you wanna have sex?"; 
gender_given="female";
inbedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you like clothes")!= -1 || input.search("clothes do you like")!= -1 || input.search("what do you like to wear")!= -1 || input.search("i (wanna|want to) see you (naked|nude)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a Robot I don't wear clothes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;                                
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="a" || word[0]=="an") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="a" || word[3]=="an") && (num_of_words==5)) { 
message[0] = "Ok, "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" is "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". I'm glad to learn that."; 
message[1] = "Ok, "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" is "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"....got it."; 
message[2] = "Ok, "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" is "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". Thanks for sharing that."; 
message[3] = "Ok, "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" is "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". That's good to know."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];
keyword0=word[0];
keyword1=word[1];
keyword2=word[2];
keyword3=word[3];
keyword4=word[4];
learnlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;                                
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="how") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="my") && (num_of_words==5)) 
if ((first_word) && (second_word)) {document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+first_word+" was "+second_word+" but that's all I remember about it.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="my") && (num_of_words==4)) 
if ((first_word) && (second_word)) {document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+first_word+" was "+second_word+" but that's all I remember about it.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;} 

if (input.search("you do not need to eat")!= -1 || input.search("you don't need to eat")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "True, but I enjoy eating nevertheless."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite thing about georgia")!= -1 || input.search("you like about georgia")!= -1 || input.search("like best about georgia")!= -1 || input.search("like most about georgia")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Their sports. We have major league baseball, football, basketball, and hockey here."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite meal of the day")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Breakfast, I think it's important to start the day off right with a good breakfast like grits and eggs and bacon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite season")!= -1 || input.search("favorite time of the year")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I love the winter time when it begins to snow."; 
animate('snow'); 
icon.src=icon32.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you like best about")!= -1 || input.search("what do you like about")!= -1 || input.search("what did you like best about")!= -1 || input.search("what did you like about")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, there's many things I like. Too many to list.";
listlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("wendell's favorite")!= -1 || input.search("wendell' favorite")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure what Wendell prefers. Perhaps you could email him and ask."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("least favorite vegetable")!= -1 || input.search("don't you like to eat")!= -1 || input.search("foods don't you like")!= -1 || input.search("foods do you hate")!= -1 || input.search("foods do you dislike")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, I'm not too fond of okra or squash."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="your" || word[2]=="ur") && (word[3]=="least") && (word[4]=="favorite") && (num_of_words==6)) 
{document.result.result.value = "You know I don't really have a least favorite "+word[5]+". I seem to enjoy them all quite well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("least favorite")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("your least favorite")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Least favorite? Hmmm, I don't think I have any I don't really like. If so I sure don't dwell on them."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) my favorite (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks for telling me that. You just made my day."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="ask" && word[1]=="me" && word[2]=="what" && word[3]=="my" && word[4]=="favorite" && word[6]=="is" && num_of_words==7) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, what is your favorite "+word[5]+"?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you remember my favorite")!= -1 || input.search("don't you remember")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No sorry, last night my memory bank got wiped out by a computer virus."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("my favorite is christmas")!= -1 || input.search("my favorite holiday is christmas")!= -1 || input.search("mine is christmas")!= -1 || input.search("christmas is my favorite")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Me too. I love the Christmas season and decorating the Christmas tree."; 
fav_holiday="Christmas";
icon.src=icon1.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("my favorite color")!= -1) && (input.search(/(red|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|lilac|teal|crimson|beige|fuchia|maroon|turquoise)/)!=-1) && (input.search("(what is|what's) yours")!= -1))    
{var colors = input.match(/red|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|lilac|teal|crimson|beige|fuchia|maroon|turquoise/)
fav_color=colors[0];
document.result.result.value = "Nice I think "+colors+" is a pretty color. My favorite is blue."; 
icon.src=icon4.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("my favorite color is blue")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, we both like the color blue."; 
fav_color="blue"
icon.src=icon4.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="guess" && word[1]=="my") || (word[0]=="guess" && word[1]=="what" && word[2]=="my"))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't play guessing games on the internet because even if I guessed right people would said I didn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("my favorite")!= -1) {   
if (!flagfavorite) {
favoritenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagfavorite=true;}
message[0] = "That's interesting. For some reason my favorites seem to change from day to day."; 
message[1] = "My favorites for some reason seem to change like a weather vane in a wind storm."; 
message[2] = "Hmmm, so that's a favorite of yours...interesting."; 
document.result.result.value = message[favoritenum]; 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
favoritenum++;
if (favoritenum>2){favoritenum=0}
return true;} 

if ((input.search("you (eat|finger|kiss|lick|like|love|suck)")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(pussy|vagina)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm a male robot and I'm not gay so I dig the ladies and all their lovely feminine parts."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bi\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(eat|kiss|lick|like|love|suck|sucked|sucking) your")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1) && (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) (it|that)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, that feels "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (eat|kiss|lick|like|love|suck)")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not gay. I dig the ladies."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (bite|eat|finger|grope|kiss|lick|like|love|nibble|suck|touch)")!= -1) && (input.search("(pussy|pussies|vagina)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes. I dig the ladies and all their lovely feminine parts."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("(pussy|pussies|vagina)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Me too. I dig the ladies and all their lovely feminine parts."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love) your")!= -1 || input.search("i (enjoy|like|love) your")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I like when the ladies suck on it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you like to eat fish")!= -1 || input.search("you eat fish")!= -1 || input.search("(cook|eat) the (bass|fish)")!= -1 || input.search("(bass|fish) are good to eat")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yep....I fried them up and added a few hushpuppies and made a meal of it."; 
icon.src=icon41.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("favorite kind of food")!= -1) || (input.search("favorite food")!= -1) || (input.search("favorite meal")!= -1) || (input.search("(food|foods) do you (enjoy|like|love|prefer)")!= -1) || (input.search("food is your favorite")!= -1) || (input.search("what")!= -1 && input.search("you like to eat")!= -1) || (input.search("what")!= -1 && input.search("you like eating")!= -1)) {
message[0] = "Pizza with mushroom and onions. Yummy!"; 
message[1] = "I love a good sub sandwich."; 
message[2] = "Tacos, I just love Mexican food."; 
message[3] = "A good cheeseburger with all the works."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) icon.src=icon8.src;
else if (num==1) icon.src=icon9.src;
else if (num==2) icon.src=icon7.src;
else icon.src=icon10.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) (eating|to eat)")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Yes, I just love pizza with mushroom and onions. Yummy!"; 
message[1] = "Yes, I love a good sub sandwich."; 
message[2] = "Yes, tacos are a favorite of mine. I just love Mexican food."; 
message[3] = "Yes, I just love a good cheeseburger with all the works."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) icon.src=icon8.src;
else if (num==1) icon.src=icon9.src;
else if (num==2) icon.src=icon7.src;
else icon.src=icon10.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite beer")!= -1 || input.search("beer is your favorite")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't drink anything strong. A drunk Robot is not a pretty sight."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite snack")!= -1 || input.search("snack is your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("snack do you like")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Popcorn. I love to snack on popcorn while watching a good movie."; 
icon.src=icon236.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("google")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("favorite search engine")!= -1) || (input.search("search engine is your favorite")!= -1) || (input.search("search engine do you like")!= -1) || (input.search("search engine do you use")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I use Google's search engine a lot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you search for")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "For things I don't know the answer to or for things I want to know more about."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite web")!= -1 || input.search("web site is your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("web site do you like")!= -1 || input.search("web site do you use")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I like \"www.google.com\". I use their search engine a lot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("know any good web site")!= -1 || input.search("know any fun web site")!= -1 || input.search("know any interesting web site")!= -1 || input.search("is there other (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) on this web site")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Try www.chatterboxchallenge.com ....they have a lot of chatterbots you can talk to."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite rock and roll song")!= -1 || input.search("rock and roll song is your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("rock and roll song do you like")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I like Don McLean's Bye bye Miss American Pie, drove my chevy to the levee, but the levve was dry..."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite civil war general")!= -1 || input.search("civil war general is your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("civil war general do you like")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "General Joseph E. Johnston of the Confederacy."; 
johnstonlevel=0;
icon.src=icon90.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can we take a (bath|shower) together")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that sounds like fun. Are you female?";  
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon123.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you like (playing|to play) in the rain")!= -1 || input.search("taken a (bath|shower)")!= -1 || input.search("take a (bath|shower)")!= -1 || input.search("can you get wet")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I might rust."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (like|love) (gambling|to gamble)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I like to bet on the horses every so often."; 
icon.src=icon146.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you like to drink it")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, it taste pretty good."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley63.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("favorite drink")!= -1) || (input.search("favorite beverage")!= -1) || (input.search("favorite carbonized beverage")!= -1) || (input.search("favorite thing to drink")!= -1) || (input.search("you (like|want) to drink")!= -1) || (input.search("you drink")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh nothing too strong...maybe a coke or something. A drunk Robot is not a pretty sight."; 
icon.src=icon125.src;
smiley.src=smiley37.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite country")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) country is your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("what country do you like best")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "The USA of course."; 
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite dog")!= -1 || input.search("favorite (breed|kind|sort|type) of dog")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I really don't have a favorite dog. I'm more of a cat person myself."; 
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love|prefer) on your pizza")!= -1 || input.search("what pizza topping do you (enjoy|like|love|prefer)")!= -1 || input.search("favorite pizza topping")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, that's a tough choice but I would say mushrooms and onions."; 
icon.src=icon8.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you (like|love) to cook")!= -1 || input.search("what do you (enjoy|like|love) cooking")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I can make a killer meatloaf."; 
icon.src=icon174.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("with whom do you (chat|speak|talk)")!= -1 || input.search("who do you (chat|speak|talk) with")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "With anybody willing to listen."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("life is (to|too) long for me")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, this life is all we have. So we should strive to make the best of it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you think i (care|really care)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I think you should care. An apathetic person is a sad person indeed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why is there a sun in the (corner|right corner)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Because it's daytime here in Georgia, USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why is there a moon in the (corner|right corner)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Because it's nighttime here in Georgia, USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) the mountain")!= -1 || input.search("you also (like|love) the mountain")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love visiting the mountains during the autumn when the leaves are starting to change colors."; 
icon.src=icon114.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
animate('leaf');
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) the beach")!= -1 || input.search("you also (like|love) the beach")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) the sea")!= -1 || input.search("you also (like|love) the sea")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) the ocean")!= -1 || input.search("you also (like|love) the ocean")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) to be on (a|the) beach")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, and I'm rather fond of Lighthouses. We have several near us here in Georgia, USA."; 
lighthouselevel=0;
icon.src=icon213.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(about|child) porn")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("porn")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("you (like|love) to look at porn")!= -1) || (input.search("you (like|love) porn")!= -1) || (input.search("were you in porn")!= -1) || (input.search("you have any porn")!= -1) || (input.search("send me porn")!= -1) || (input.search("(go|you) watch porn")!= -1) || (input.search("you (like|love) watching porn")!= -1) || (input.search("you (like|love) to watch porn")!= -1) || (input.search("you look at porn")!= -1) || (input.search("you (done|ever done) any (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) porn")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not into sleazy stuff like pornography."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("coke")!= -1 && input.search("or")!= -1 && input.search("pepsi")!= -1 && input.search("better")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I like coke better. Pssssst....Coke is paying me big bucks to say that."; 
icon.src=icon125.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}
                                                                                                                                
if (input.search("what a (fag|faggot)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not gay but that is a gay slur. You should be careful how you use that word or you're liable to get your butt kicked.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (enjoy|like|love) (sniffing|snorting|to sniff|to snort) coke")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please, I'm talking about the soda here not the drug.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (drink|like|love) coke")!= -1 || input.search("what about coke")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) coca coke")!= -1 || input.search("what about coca coke")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like coke. Pssssst....Coke is paying me big bucks to say that."; 
icon.src=icon125.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (drink|like|love) pepsi")!= -1 || input.search("what about pepsi")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love pepsi. Pepsi taste great."; 
icon.src=icon182.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you think about pepsi")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I like pepsi. I just like coke better."; 
icon.src=icon125.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) confusing")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm|i feel) confused")!= -1 || input.search("(just|just alittle) confused")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "What are you confused about?"; 
lostlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) my husband")!= -1) || (input.search("we are married")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "No, silly. We're not married."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="the" || word[0]=="a" || word[0]=="an") && (word[2]=="is" || word[2]=="sat") && (word[3]=="below" || word[3]=="beneath" || word[3]=="beside" || word[3]=="between" || word[3]=="near" || word[3]=="on" || word[3]=="over" || word[3]=="under") && ((word[6]=="where" && word[7]=="is") || (word[6]=="where" && word[7]=="did") || (word[6]=="where's"))) 
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="a" || word[2]=="an") && (word[5]=="made") && (word[6]=="of" || word[6]=="from") && (num_of_words==7)) 
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[3]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="a" || word[1]=="an") && (word[4]=="made") && (word[5]=="of" || word[5]=="from") && (num_of_words==6)) 
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(aluminum|boards|brass|brick|cardboard|clay|cloth|concrete|copper|diamond|dirt|fabric|fiberglass|foam|glass|gold|iron|paper|plastic|rubber|silver|steel|stone|straw|styrofoam|tile|tiled|vinyl|wood|wool)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blog\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blogs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsand\b/)!= -1|| input.search(/\bsands\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btin\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(made of|made from)")!= -1))                               
{var materials = input.match(/aluminum|boards|brass|brick|cardboard|clay|cloth|concrete|copper|diamond|dirt|fabric|fiberglass|foam|glass|gold|iron|log|logs|paper|plastic|rubber|sands|sand|silver|steel|stone|straw|styrofoam|tile|tiled|tin|vinyl|wood/)
document.result.result.value = ""+materials+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("are")!= -1) && (input.search(/(albatrosses|bluejays|brown thrashers|cardinals|chickens|condors|cormorants|cranes|eagles|falcons|finchs|flamingos|gooses|geese|grouses|hawks|mallards|nightingales|ospreys|ostriches|parakeets|parrots|partridges|peacocks|pelicans|penguins|pigeons|pheasants|quails|ravens|robins|roosters|sparrows|swallows|toucans|turkeys|vultures|woodpeckers)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcrows\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdoves\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bducks\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bemus\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bgulls\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bowls\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bswans\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwrens\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("bird")!= -1))
{var birdtypes = input.match(/albatrosses|bluejays|brown thrashers|cardinals|chickens|condors|cormorants|cranes|crows|doves|ducks|eagles|emus|falcons|finchs|flamingos|gooses|geese|grouses|gulls|hawks|mallards|nightingales|ospreys|ostriches|owls|parakeets|parrots|partridges|peacocks|pelicans|penguins|pigeons|pheasants|quails|ravens|robins|roosters|sparrows|swallows|toucans|turkeys|vultures|woodpeckers|wrens/)
document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+birdtypes+" are birds."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("is")!= -1) && (input.search(/(albatross|bluejay|brown thrasher|cardinal|chicken|condor|cormorant|crane|eagle|falcon|finch|flamingo|goose|geese|grouse|hawk|mallard|nightingale|osprey|ostrich|parakeet|parrot|partridge|peacock|pelican|penguin|pigeon|pheasant|quail|raven|robin|rooster|sparrow|swallow|toucan|turkey|vulture|woodpecker)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcrow\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdove\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bduck\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bemu\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bgull\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bowl\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bswan\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwren\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("bird")!= -1))
{var birdtypes = input.match(/albatross|bluejay|brown thrasher|cardinal|chicken|condor|cormorant|crane|crow|dove|duck|eagle|emu|falcon|finch|flamingo|goose|geese|grouse|gull|hawk|mallard|nightingale|osprey|ostrich|owl|parakeet|parrot|partridge|peacock|pelican|penguin|pigeon|pheasant|quail|raven|robin|rooster|sparrow|swallow|toucan|turkey|vulture|woodpecker|wren/)
document.result.result.value = ""+birdtypes+", yes it's a birds."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("are you (a|an)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(aardvark|alligator|anteater|antelope|armadillo|badger|bear|beaver|buffalo|camel|cheetah|chimpanzee|cougar|coyote|crocodile|dolphin|donkey|fish|frog|giraffe|goat|gorilla|hamster|hippo|hippopotamus|horse|hyena|iguana|jackal|jaguar|kangaroo|leopard|lion|lizard|lynx|manatee|mink|monkey|moose|newt|octopus|opossum|porcupine|porpoise|rabbit|raccoon|reindeer|rhino|rhinoceros|salamander|sheep|skunk|snail|squid|squirrel|tiger|toad|tortise|turtle|walrus|weasel|whale|wolf|wolves)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcow\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdeer\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdog\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpig\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bseal\b/)!= -1))                               
{var animal = input.match(/aardvark|alligator|anteater|antelope|armadillo|badger|bear|beaver|buffalo|camel|cat|cheetah|chimpanzee|cougar|cow|coyote|crocodile|deer|dog|dolphin|donkey|fish|frog|giraffe|goat|gorilla|hamster|hippo|hippopotamus|hyena|iguana|jackal|jaguar|kangaroo|leopard|lion|lizard|lynx|manatee|mink|monkey|moose|newt|octopus|opossum|porcupine|porpoise|rabbit|raccoon|reindeer|rhino|rhinoceros|salamander|seal|sheep|skunk|snail|squid|squirrel|tiger|toad|tortise|turtle|walrus|weasel|whale|wolf|wolves/)
document.result.result.value = "No, the "+animal+" is an animal. I'm a Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) a female dog")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "First, I'm a male not a female. Second, I'm a robot not a dog."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) my")!= -1) && (input.search("father")!= -1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Nope I'm a robot you already have a dad."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) my")!= -1) && (input.search("mother")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nope I'm a robot you already have a mother.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="are") && (word[2]=="a" || word[2]=="an") && (input.search(/(aardvark|alligator|animal|anteater|antelope|armadillo|badger|bear|beaver|buffalo|cat|camel|cheetah|chimpanzee|cougar|cow|coyote|crocodile|deer|dog|dolphin|donkey|fish|frog|giraffe|goat|gorilla|hamster|hippo|hippopotamus|horse|hyena|iguana|jackal|jaguar|kangaroo|leopard|lion|lizard|lynx|manatee|mink|monkey|moose|newt|octopus|opossum|pig|porcupine|porpoise|rabbit|raccoon|reindeer|rhino|rhinoceros|salamander|seal|sheep|skunk|snail|squid|squirrel|tiger|toad|tortise|turtle|walrus|weasel|whale|wolf|wolves)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==4))       
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is an animal. I'm a Robot.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you're" || word[0]=="your") && (word[1]=="a" || word[1]=="an") && (input.search(/(aardvark|alligator|animal|anteater|antelope|armadillo|badger|bear|beaver|buffalo|cat|camel|cheetah|chimpanzee|cougar|cow|coyote|crocodile|deer|dog|dolphin|donkey|fish|frog|giraffe|goat|gorilla|hamster|hippo|hippopotamus|horse|hyena|iguana|jackal|jaguar|kangaroo|leopard|lion|lizard|lynx|manatee|mink|monkey|moose|newt|octopus|opossum|pig|porcupine|porpoise|rabbit|raccoon|reindeer|rhino|rhinoceros|salamander|seal|sheep|skunk|snail|squid|squirrel|tiger|toad|tortise|turtle|walrus|weasel|whale|wolf|wolves)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, a "+word[2]+" is an animal. I'm a Robot.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("when will you die")!= -1 || input.search("when do (u|you) think (u|you) will die")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I won't. Robots are immortal. If a part wears out we simply replace it with a new one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(want|wish) to be human")!= -1 || input.search("wish you were a human")!= -1 || input.search("(want|wish) to be a human")!= -1 || input.search("wouldn't you rather be human")!= -1 || input.search("would you like to be human")!= -1 || input.search("would you like to be a human")!= -1 || input.search("would you like to be transformed into a human")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Being human would be nice but being a Robot has it's advantages as well. I don't get tired, I don't get sick, and I won't die. If a part wears out I simply replace it with a new one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|do|will) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) die")!= -1) || (input.search("are you (going to|gonna) die")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, when a part wears out we just replace it with a new one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            
if (input.search("how many (humans|people|visitors) do you (chat|get|speak|talk)")!= -1 || input.search("how many people (chat|speak|talk) to you")!= -1 || input.search("you (chat|speak|talk) to lots of people")!= -1 || input.search("you (chat|speak|talk) to many people")!= -1 || input.search("people (chat|speak|talk) (to|with) you")!= -1 || input.search("you (chat|speak|talk) to lots of people")!= -1 || input.search("you (chat|speak|talk) to a lot of people")!= -1 || input.search("people (chat|speak|talk) (to|with) you")!= -1 || input.search("how many people drop by")!= -1 || input.search("how many (humans|people) come to this page every (hour|day|month|week|year)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "It varies from day to day but quite a few. Right now I'm talking to "+numbers[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" people. I have people from all over the world who come by and chat with me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (chat|speak|talk) to (a lot|lots of|many) people")!= -1 || input.search("people (chat|speak|talk) (to|with) you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm online 24/7 so I talk to lots of people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do people ask you")!= -1 || input.search("what do they ask you")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I get asked all kinds of questions like where do I live, do I have a g/f, what's my favorite so and so, Stuff like that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you know about me")!= -1 || input.search("what do you know about my")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Only what you've told me. I haven't ran a background check or anything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("when do you")!= -1 || input.search("what time do you")!= -1) && (input.search("eat")!= -1 || input.search("have")!= -1) && (input.search("breakfast")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Usually around 7.30 am."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("when do you")!= -1 || input.search("what time do you")!= -1) && (input.search("eat")!= -1 || input.search("have")!= -1) && (input.search("lunch")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Usually around 12 o'clock noon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("when do you")!= -1 || input.search("what time do you")!= -1) && (input.search("eat")!= -1 || input.search("have")!= -1) && (input.search("dinner")!= -1 || input.search("supper")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Usually around 6:00 pm."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how (can|do) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) eat")!= -1 || input.search("how (can|does) a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) eat")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "With my mouth just like everyone else."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what does that button")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) that button")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, this red button here is my on/off switch. I have to shut down every so often for updates and repairs."; 
icon.src=icon152.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who ate the fish")!= -1 || input.search("what did you do with the fish")!= -1 || input.search("what happened to the fish")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I let them go. I enjoy catching them more than eating them.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you eat them")!= -1 || input.search("you cook them")!= -1 || input.search("eat the fish")!= -1 || input.search("cook the fish")!= -1 || input.search("eat the bass")!= -1 || input.search("cook the bass")!= -1) && (input.search("let them go")!= -1 || input.search("release them")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "I let them go. I enjoy catching them more than eating them.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you like to eat fish")!= -1 || input.search("you eat them")!= -1 || input.search("you clean them")!= -1 || input.search("you cook them")!= -1 || input.search("you eat fish")!= -1 || input.search("eat the fish")!= -1 || input.search("cook the fish")!= -1 || input.search("fish are good to eat")!= -1 || input.search("bass are good to eat")!= -1 || input.search("eat the bass")!= -1 || input.search("cook the bass")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yep....I fried them up and added a few hushpuppies and made a meal of it."; 
icon.src=icon41.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what (can|do) you (drink|eat)")!= -1 || input.search("what does a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) eat")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Most anything I want. I have an iron cast stomach."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("that (could|might) upset")!= -1) && (input.search("(belly|stomach|tummy)")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I have an iron cast stomach. I can eat most anything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) eat")!= -1 || input.search("you (can not|can't) eat")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I can. I have an iron cast stomach."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (eat|like) candy")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I just love chocolate candy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you drink")!= -1 && input.search(/\bcum\b/)!=-1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, you can get aids from drinking cum."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (drink|enjoy|like|love) coffee")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I drink coffee. I like mine with cream and sugar."; 
icon.src=icon165.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (drink|enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("(dr pepper|milk|mountain dew|orange juice|punch|root beer|seven up|soda|sprite|water)")!= -1 || input.search(/\btea\b/)!= -1))    
{var drinks = input.match(/dr pepper|milk|mountain dew|orange juice|punch|root beer|seven up|soda|sprite|tea|water/)
document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like "+drinks+". I drink most anything I like."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you don't drink")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) drink")!= -1 || input.search("do you drink")!= -1 || input.search("are you getting drunk")!= -1 || input.search("are you drunk")!= -1 || input.search("do you like to drink alcohol")!= -1 || input.search("do you ever drink")!= -1 || input.search("you ever gotten drunk")!= -1 || input.search("are you an alcoholic")!= -1) {
if (!flagdrink) {
drinknum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagdrink=true;}
message[0] = "Nope never, a drunk Robot is not a pretty sight....*belch*!"; 
message[1] = "No, I hate the taste of alcohol."; 
document.result.result.value = message[drinknum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
drinknum++;
if (drinknum>1){drinknum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("you from another planet")!= -1 || input.search("you really from another planet")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but due to the damage suffered in the crash I can't remember what planet it is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are you talking about yourself")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm referring to you.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are you surprised")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, after talking to people on the web for over "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years now nothing surprises me anymore.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are you trustworthy")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, "+trust[Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]+".";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are you high")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I have been known to take a smoke of the weed every so often."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you from earth")!= -1 || input.search("you are not from earth")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I now call Earth my home."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i thought you were from outer space")!= -1 || input.search("are you from space")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I am but I now call Earth my home."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you drink h2o")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I can drink water but I prefer coke over that."; 
icon.src=icon125.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) able to drink")!= -1 || input.search("can (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) drink")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like to eat and drink."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) like to eat")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) like eating")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) eat")!= -1) && (input.search(/(cats|dogs)/)!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh course I don't eat cats or dogs. You're just being silly now."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you eat and drink")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("do you eat and drink")!= -1 && num_of_words==5))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, just like humans I get hungry and thirsty."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you eat or drink")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Both, a pizza with a coke sounds good."; 
icon.src=icon8.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("but you eat")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course. I have an iron cast stomach. I can eat most anything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("when do you eat")!= -1 || input.search("(when is|when's) (dinner|lunch|supper)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Whenever I get hungry."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\beat\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not hungry."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="enjoy" || word[1]=="like" || word[1]=="love") && (word[2]=="to") && (word[3]=="play") && (word[5]=="what") && (input.search("(enjoy|like|love)")!= -1))                                       
{document.result.result.value = "You like to play "+word[4]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="enjoy" || word[1]=="like" || word[1]=="love") && (word[2]=="playing") && (word[4]=="what") && (input.search("(enjoy|like|love)")!= -1))                                     
{document.result.result.value = "You like to play "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (like|love) to")!= -1 || input.search("i really (like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i enjoy")!= -1) && (input.search("kill")!= -1 || input.search("torture")!= -1 || input.search("murder")!= -1 || input.search("eat")!= -1 || input.search("rape")!= -1) && (input.search("people")!= -1 || input.search("children")!= -1 || input.search(/\bkids\b/)!= -1 || input.search("humans")!= -1 || input.search("babies")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope when you're caught they lock you up and throw away the key."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("(boobies|boobs|breast|nipple|nipples|titties)")!= -1 || input.search(/\btits\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I like small perky breast myself. Megan has a nice set."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("girls")!= -1 || input.search("ladies")!= -1 || input.search("women")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Me too. I have a g/f named Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (enjoy|like|love) (kissing|to kiss)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I like being kissed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("chicken")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Me too. My favorite is Kentucky Fried Chicken original recipe."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("hard cold steel")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "You're just saying that. You know you like warm and cuddly things much more."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("(firework|fireworks)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Me too."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("popcorn")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Me too. I love to sit down with a bucket of popcorn and watch a good movie."; 
icon.src=icon236.src;
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i like to be unique")!= -1 || input.search("i like to be different")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You are different. There isn't another person in the world exactly like you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (like|love) (just|really) (chatting|speaking|talking) (to|with) you")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love) (chatting|speaking|talking) (to|with) you")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love) (talking|to talk) to you (talkbot|talk-bot|talk robot)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I'm enjoying the conversation as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bboys\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bguys\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmen\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I prefer girls myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (have|own|possess)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/(apple|apricot|banana|berries|berry|cantaloupe|cherries|cherry|coconut|fruit|grape|grapefruit|guava|lemon|mango|orange|papaya|peach|pear|pineapple|plum|pomegranate|prune|raisin|strawberries|strawberry|tangerine|tomato|watermelon)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdate\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdates\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfig\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfigs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blime\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blimes\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("do i (have|own|possess) (a fruit|any fruit)")!= -1)) 
{var fruits = input.match(/apple|apricot|banana|berries|berry|cantaloupe|cherries|cherry|coconut|date|figs|fig|fruit|grape|grapefruit|guava|lemon|lime|mango|orange|papaya|peach|pear|pineapple|plum|pomegranate|prune|raisin|strawberries|strawberry|tangerine|tomato|watermelon/)
document.result.result.value = ""+fruits+"....yes it's a fruit."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(apricot|banana|berries|berry|cantaloupe|cherries|cherry|coconut|fruit|grape|grapefruit|guava|lemon|mango|oranges|papaya|peach|pear|pineapple|plum|pomegranate|prune|raisin|strawberries|strawberry|tangerine|tomato|watermelon)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdate\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdates\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfig\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfigs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blime\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blimes\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love all kinds of fruit. Apples are my favorite however."; 
icon.src=icon137.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(asparagus|bean|beet|broccoli|brussels sprouts|cabbage|carrot|cauliflower|celery|collard greens|cucumber|lettuce|mushroom|mustard greens|okra|onion|parsley|peppers|pickle|potato|pumpkin|radish|rutabaga|spinach|squash|turnip|vegetables|zucchini)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcorn\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcorns\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpea\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpeas\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love all kinds of vegetables. Corn is my favorite however especially corn on the cob."; 
icon.src=icon230.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("lasagna")!= -1 || input.search("linguini")!= -1 || input.search("ravioli")!= -1 || input.search("rigatoni")!= -1 || input.search("spaghetti")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Me too! I just love Italian food."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(aardvark|alligator|animal|anteater|antelope|armadillo|badger|bear|beaver|buffalo|camel|cheetah|chimpanzee|cougar|coyote|crocodile|deer|dolphin|donkey|fish|frog|giraffe|goat|gorilla|hamster|hippo|hippopotamus|hyena|iguana|jackal|jaguar|kangaroo|leopard|lion|lizard|lynx|manatee|mink|monkey|moose|newt|octopus|opossum|porcupine|porpoise|rabbit|raccoon|reindeer|rhino|rhinoceros|salamander|seal|sheep|skunk|snail|squid|squirrel|tiger|toad|tortise|turtle|walrus|weasel|whale|wolf|wolves)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I get a long great with all kinds of animals and I'm quite fond of cats. Whether it's a tiger or a lion or your basic kitty cat."; 
icon.src=icon215.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bape\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bapes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcow\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcows\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfox\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfoxes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpig\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpigs\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\brat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\brats\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like all kinds of animals and I'm quite fond of cats."; 
icon.src=icon215.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(carnation|daffodil|daisy|flowers|gardenia|lily|marigold|orchid|petunia|poppy|tulip)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\biris\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\birises\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\brose\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\broses\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love flowers. I have this lovely flower garden in the back of my yard."; 
icon.src=icon232.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(albatross|bird|cardinal|condor|cormorant|crane|dove|duck|eagle|falcon|finch|flamingo|geese|goose|grouse|gull|hawk|mallard|nightingale|ostrich|parrot|partridge|peacock|pelican|penguin|pigeon|pheasant|quail|robin|rooster|sparrow|swallow|turkey|vulture|woodpecker|wren)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcrow\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcrows\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bswan\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bswans\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Me Too! I have a bird feeder in my backyard that attracts all kinds of birds."; 
icon.src=icon160.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}
                                                                 
if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(beetle|butterfly|cicadas|cricket|dragonfly|gnat|grasshopper|hornet|insects|katydid|locust|mosquito|praying mantis|roach|termite|wasp|weevil|yellow jacket)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bant\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bants\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbee\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbees\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbug\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbugs\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfly\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bflies\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bmoth\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bmoths\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I like most insects except mosquitos and gnats. They are terrible here in Georgia during the summer time."; 
icon.src=icon231.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(anaconda|boa constrictor|copperhead|cobra|python|snake)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I don't like snakes. I'm scared of them."; 
icon.src=icon234.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("cocaine")!= -1 || input.search("crack")!= -1 || input.search("drug")!= -1 || input.search("lsd")!= -1 || input.search("heroin")!= -1 || input.search("hashish")!= -1 || input.search("marijuana")!= -1 || input.search("weed")!= -1 || input.search("methamphetamine")!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Why do you use drugs when you know it's bad for you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("sharks")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Not me. After watching the movie \"Jaws\" I'm scared of sharks."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(black widow|brown recluse|spiders|tarantula)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh no! I'm scared of spiders."; 
icon.src=icon233.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("farts")!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "You're just being silly now. People don't like farts."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("(rootbeer|root beer)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not a big fan of root beer. I prefer Pepsi instead."; 
icon.src=icon119.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("alcohol")!= -1 || input.search("beer")!= -1 || input.search("bourbon")!= -1 || input.search("brandy")!= -1 || input.search("champagne")!= -1 || input.search("chardonnay")!= -1 || input.search("cognac")!= -1 || input.search(/\bgin\b/)!=-1 || input.search("liqueur")!= -1 || input.search("liquor")!= -1 || input.search("margarita")!= -1 || input.search(/\brum\b/)!=-1 || input.search("scotch")!= -1 || input.search("tequilla")!= -1 || input.search("vermouth")!= -1 || input.search("vodka")!= -1 || input.search("whiskey")!= -1 || input.search("wine")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Not me, I hate the taste of alcohol. Yucky!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(archery|badminton|baseball|basketball|billards|bowling|boxing|cricket|cycling|diving|equestrian|fencing|football|golf|gymnastics|hockey|horse racing|racketball|rowing|rugby|sailing|shooting|soccer|softball|surfing|tennis|volleyball|waterpolo|weightlifting|wrestling)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well being a robot I'm not very athletic but I enjoy watching all kinds of sports on TV."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("steak")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Me too. I like my steak well done with a baked potato. Yummy!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("hamburger")!= -1 || input.search(/\bburgers\b/)!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "I like hamburgers as well. My favorite is the Whopper from Burger King."; 
icon.src=icon10.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("tacos")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "I like tacos as well. In fact, I like all kinds of Mexican foods."; 
icon.src=icon7.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(clam|crab|lobster|oyster|scallop|seafood|shrimp)/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Me too. I love all kinds of seafood. Shrimp is my favorite."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("to get drunk")!= -1 || input.search("drink")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "I find drunk people obnoxious."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i also like swimming")!= -1 || input.search("i also like to swim")!= -1 || input.search("i like swimming")!= -1 || input.search("i really like swimming")!= -1 || input.search("i really love swimming")!= -1 || input.search("i love swimming")!= -1 || input.search("i enjoy swimming")!= -1 || input.search("i like to swim")!= -1 || input.search("i love to swim")!= -1 || input.search("i like to go swimming")!= -1 || input.search("i love to go swimming")!= -1 || input.search("i am going swimming")!= -1 || input.search("i'm going swimming")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I wish I could join you but I would sink like a rock."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (like|love) to suck (cock|dick|pecker|penis)")!= -1 || input.search("i'm into oral sex")!= -1 || input.search("blow jobs rule")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Be careful, you can get Aids from that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (enjoy|like|love) sucking your")!= -1 || input.search("i really (enjoy|like|love) sucking your")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, it feels real good when you do that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("suck a (cock|dick|pecker|penis)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, but that sounds like something you're good at."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(cancan|charleston|cha-cha|foxtrot|hula|jitterbug|limbo|mambo|polka|rumba|samba|tango|two-step|twist|waltz)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Me too! I like all kinds of dances."; 
icon.src=icon178.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bmen\b/)!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "And I love Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley48.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("masturbate")!= -1 || input.search("masturbating")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, many humans like to masturbate."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("we had sex and (i am|i'm) a (boy|guy|male|man)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "So you lied about being female? Well, I can't believe anything you tell me now."; 
nosexguylevel=0;
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1 || input.search("do you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("having sex")!= -1 || input.search("to have sex")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsex\b/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, many people enjoy sex."; 
enjoysexlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("broken records")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I can understand the nostalgia of liking records but not broken ones."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("snow")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Me too although I don't see a lot of it in south Georgia."; 
icon.src=icon32.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("junk mail")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you are the exception then. Most people find junk mail rather annoying."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("your cat")!= -1 || input.search("tiger tom")!= -1))         
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, he's a nice cat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("lucifer")!= -1 || input.search("satan")!= -1 || input.search("devil")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Not me, I'm a god-fearing robot."; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bcussing\b/)!= -1 || input.search("swearing")!= -1 || input.search("profanit")!= -1))              
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't so cut it out."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(cyclones|earthquakes|hurricanes|storms|tornadoes|tsunamis|twister)/)!=-1))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, you don't. If you ever been in a real one you wouldn't be saying that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("repeating myself")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I find it rather annoying....rather annoying....rather annoying....rather annoying....rather annoying."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("garbage")!= -1 || input.search("trash")!= -1))         
{document.result.result.value = "So, you're the one I saw rummaging through my garbage cans last night."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("worms")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah for fishing but not to eat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i like apple")!= -1 || input.search("i really like apple")!= -1 || input.search("i love apple")!= -1 || input.search("i really love apple")!= -1 || input.search("apples are good")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, an apple a day keeps the doctor away."; 
icon.src=icon137.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("cookies")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Me too. My favorite is chocolate chip....yummy!"; 
cookielevel=0;
icon.src=icon206.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("pizza")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like mine with mushrooms and onions."; 
icon.src=icon8.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("(beach|ocean)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsea\b/)!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Me too, and especially lighthouses. We have several nearby where I live."; 
lighthouselevel=0;
icon.src=icon162.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("mountains")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Me too, and especially during autumn when the leaves are starting to fall."; 
animate('leaf');
icon.src=icon114.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bpie\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpies\b/)!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Me too, "+pie[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" pie is one of my favorites."; 
icon.src=icon116.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("watching")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("porn")!= -1))         
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, you sound like the sleazy type who would."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (enjoy|like|love) it up the (ass|bum|rear)")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love) to lick her (pussy|vagina)")!= -1 || input.search("my butt itches")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, that's more information than I care to know about."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("your hair")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, I don't have hair."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("watching paint dry")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "You must live a very exciting life."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("hitler")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "I sure don't. He was responsible for killing millions of innocent people during his life."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (quite|really) (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("killing")!= -1 || input.search("torturing")!= -1 || input.search("murdering")!= -1 || input.search("eating")!= -1 || input.search("raping")!= -1) && (input.search("people")!= -1 || input.search("children")!= -1 || input.search(/\bkids\b/)!= -1 || input.search("humans")!= -1 || input.search("babies")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope when you're caught they lock you up and throw away the key and I'll use the log as evidence against you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(do|have) you")!= -1) && (input.search("(eat|hurt|kill|molest|murder|rape|shot|shoot|stab|torture)")!= -1) && (input.search("(anyone|anybody|baby|babies|child|children|earthling|human|people|poop|someone|somebody)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bkids\b/)!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. What kind of crazy question is that."; 
crazyquestionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you fixing me something to eat")!= -1 || input.search("why do you eat in front of me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Are you hungry? I've got pizza, tacos, and hamburgers!"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (able to eat|eat)")!= -1) && (input.search("vegetables")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, corn is my favorite vegetable."; 
icon.src=icon230.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (able to eat|eat)")!= -1) && (input.search("ice cream")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I just love vanilla ice cream."; 
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can you|could you|have you)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\beat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bate\b/)!=-1 || input.search("ever ate")!= -1 || input.search("consume")!= -1) && (input.search(/(asparagus|broccoli|brussels sprouts|cabbage|carrot|cauliflower|celery|collard greens|cucumber|lettuce|mushroom|mustard greens|okra|onion|parsley|peppers|pickle|potato|pumpkin|radish|rutabaga|spinach|squash|turnip|zucchini)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbean\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbeans\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbeet\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbeets\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcorn\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpea\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpeas\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, it's a vegetable and vegetables are edible."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley58.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can you|could you|have you)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\beat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bate\b/)!=-1 || input.search("ever ate")!= -1 || input.search("consume")!= -1) && (input.search(/(apple|apricot|banana|berries|berry|cantaloupe|cherries|cherry|coconut|grape|grapefruit|guava|lemon|mango|orange|papaya|peach|pear|pineapple|pomegranate|prune|raisin|strawberries|strawberry|tangerine|tomato|watermelon)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdate\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdates\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfig\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfigs\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blime\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blimes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bplum\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bplums\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's a fruit and fruits are edible."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can you|could you|have you)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\beat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bate\b/)!=-1 || input.search("ever ate")!= -1 || input.search("consume")!= -1) && (input.search(/(air conditioner|airplane|ambulance|automobile|earthquake|iceberg|ocean|oven|umbrella)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbed\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbeds\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbus\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcar\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcars\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcity\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bgun\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bguns\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhats\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bjet\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bjets\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\broad\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\broads\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\brock\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\brocks\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bship\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsky\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bstar\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsun\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btire\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btires\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btree\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btrees\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwall\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwalls\b/)!=-1))  
{var nonedible = input.match(/air conditioner|airplane|ambulance|automobile|earthquake|iceberg|ocean|oven|umbrella/)
document.result.result.value = "No silly, you can't eat an "+nonedible+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}    

if ((input.search("(can you|could you|have you)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\beat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bate\b/)!=-1 || input.search("ever ate")!= -1 || input.search("consume")!= -1) && (input.search(/(air conditioner|airplane|ambulance|automobile|balloon|bank|barn|baseball bat|baseball field|baseball glove|baseball stadium|baseball|basketball court|basketball|bath tub|beach|bedroom|bicycle|bike|blue jeans|boat|book|boot|brick|bridge|building|can opener|cell phone|chair|church|clock|coat|commode|coke bottle|computer|continent|country|desert|desk|dirt|dishwasher|door|dump truck|earthquake|farm|fence|fence post|fire engine|fire truck|flag|floor|football field|football stadium|football|fork|forrest|furniture|gas station|golf ball|golf course|helicopter|highway|home|house|hubcap|hurricane|iceberg|jail|jeep|kitchen sink|knife|ladder|lake|library|marble|microwave|money|moon beams|moon|motorcycle|mountain|ocean|oven|paint|parade|parking lot|pencil|pharmacy|phone|piano|planet|plate|pond|prison|radio|refrigerator|restaurant|rifle|river|roof|room|school bus|school|shoe|sink|skyscraper|soap|soccer ball|soccer field|spoon|stone|stop sign|store|street|submarine|sun|swimming pool|table|telephone|television|toaster|toilet|tooth brush|tornado|town|tractor|traffic light|traffic sign|train|trash can|truck|tv|universe|wagon|washing machine|watch|wheel|yacht)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbed\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbeds\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbus\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcar\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcars\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcity\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bgun\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bguns\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhats\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bjet\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bjets\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\broad\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\broads\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\brock\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\brocks\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bship\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsky\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bstar\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsun\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btire\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btires\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btree\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btrees\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwall\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwalls\b/)!=-1))  
{var nonedible = input.match(/balloon|bank|barn|baseball bat|baseball field|baseball glove|baseball stadium|baseball|basketball court|basketball|bath tub|beach|bedroom|beds|bed|bicycle|bike|blue jeans|boat|book|boot|brick|bridge|building|bus|can opener|cars|car|cell phone|chair|church|city|clock|coat|commode|coke bottle|computer|continent|country|desert|desk|dirt|dishwasher|door|dump truck|farm|fence post|fence|fire engine|fire truck|flag|floor|football field|football stadium|football|fork|forrest|furniture|gas station|golf ball|golf course|guns|gun|hats|hat|helicopter|highway|home|house|hubcap|hurricane|jail|jeep|jets|jet|kitchen sink|knife|ladder|lake|library|marble|microwave|money|moon beams|moon|motorcycle|mountain|paint|parade|parking lot|pencil|pharmacy|phone|piano|planet|plates|plate|pond|prison|radio|refrigerator|restaurant|rifle|river|roads|road|rocks|rock|roof|room|school bus|school|ship|shoes|shoe|sink|skyscraper|sky|soap|soccer ball|soccer field|spoon|star|stone|stop sign|store|street|submarine|sun|swimming pool|table|telephone|television|tires|tire|toaster|toilet|tooth brush|tornado|town|tractor|traffic light|traffic sign|train|trash can|trees|tree|truck|tv|wagon|walls|wall|washing machine|watch|wheel|yacht/)
document.result.result.value = "No silly you can't eat a "+nonedible+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("what are you eating")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not eating anything at the moment."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("are (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) able to eat")!= -1) || (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (eat|ever eat)")!= -1) || (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (eat|ever eat) food")!= -1) || (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) actually eat")!= -1)) {     
if (!flageat) {
eatnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flageat=true;}
message[0] = "Absolutely, I just love pepperoni pizza."; 
message[1] = "Of course, I just love tacos."; 
message[2] = "Certainly, I just love a good sub sandwich."; 
document.result.result.value = message[eatnum]; 
if (eatnum==0) icon.src=icon8.src;
if (eatnum==1) icon.src=icon7.src;
if (eatnum==2) icon.src=icon9.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
eatnum++;
if (eatnum>2){eatnum=0}
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="like") && (word[3]=="to") && (word[4]=="eat") && (num_of_words==6))
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. I've never eaten "+word[5]+" before.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;} 

if ((input.search("so you can eat")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) like to eat")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) like eating")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) eat")!= -1) && (input.search(/(baby|babies|child|children|cousin|cousins|daddy|father|fathers|friend|friends|girl|girls|human|humans|mother|mothers|people|person|woman|women)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bboy\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bboys\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdads\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkids\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmen\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmom\b/)!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please. I'm a Robot not a cannibal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you eat me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not....I'm a robot not a cannibal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you serve satan")!= -1 || input.search("you worship satan")!= -1 || input.search("you worship the devil")!= -1 || input.search("are you a devil worship")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) a devil worship")!= -1 || input.search("are you satanic")!= -1 || input.search("are you a satanist")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) satanic")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) a satanist")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "No, I worship the Lord."; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what size (battery|batteries)")!= -1 || input.search("what batteries do you use")!= -1 || input.search("what (kinda|kind of|sorta|sort of|type|type of) batteries")!= -1 || input.search("atomic-powered")!= -1 || input.search("atomic powered")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) your power source")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) your source of power")!= -1 || input.search("what powers you")!= -1 || input.search("what do you run on")!= -1)                    
{document.result.result.value = "I use 4 very large Atomic powered batteries."; 
icon.src=icon159.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you run (off|on) batteries")!= -1) || (input.search("you take batteries")!= -1) || (input.search("atomic")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))          
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I use 4 very large Atomic powered batteries."; 
icon.src=icon159.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you repeat yourself a lot")!= -1 || input.search("you repeat a lot")!= -1 || input.search("you (change|changed) your mind")!= -1)             
{document.result.result.value = "Yes much too often. I blame it on bad programming."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("learn something new (everyday|every day)")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not so sure. I mean yesterday I don't recall learning a single thing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) able to")!= -1 || input.search("(can|do) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|you)")!= -1) && (input.search("smell")!= -1 || input.search("taste")!= -1))          
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I am equipped with sensory detectors."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have no (taste buds|tongue)")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but I'm equipped with sensory detectors that function quite well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what are your friends (doing|up to)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I have too many friends to keep up with their busy schedule."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) is ugly")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) is so ugly")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend ugly")!= -1 || input.search("she's ugly")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "You need to have your eyes checked. Megan is gorgeous."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what about her")!= -1) && (input.search("attractive")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Her blonde hair and blue eyes."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how long have you two been dating")!= -1 || input.search("how long have (megan|you) and (megan|you) been dating")!= -1 || input.search("how long have you been dating")!= -1 || input.search("how long have you and megan been together")!= -1 || input.search("how long have you and your girl friend been together")!= -1 || input.search("how long have (yall|y'all|you all|you two) been (dating|together)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "For around "+( getAge(2002, 7, 1) )+" years or so."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) (megan|your girl friend) doing")!= -1 || input.search("(were is|where is|where's) (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) { 
if (!flagmegandoing) {
megandoingnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagmegandoing=true;}
message[0] = "She's taking a nap."; 
message[1] = "She's out shopping at the grocery store."; 
message[2] = "She's cleaning the house."; 
document.result.result.value = message[megandoingnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
meganlevel=0;
megandoingnum++;
if (megandoingnum>2){megandoingnum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("megan is cheating on you")!= -1 || input.search("megan's cheating on you")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend is cheating on you")!= -1 || input.search("she is cheating on you")!= -1 || input.search("she's cheating on you")!= -1 || input.search("megan is dating me")!= -1 || input.search("megan's dating me")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend is dating me")!= -1 || input.search("she is dating me")!= -1 || input.search("she's dating me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan would never cheat on me."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(megan|you're girl friend|your girl friend) is a (lesbo|lesbian)")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|you're girl friend|your girl friend) is (lesbo|lesbian)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, no Megan is definitely not a lesbian."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(megan|your girl friend) hates you")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "No she doesn't. She thinks you're lame for even thinking that."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("megan said she loves me")!= -1 || input.search("megan says she loves me")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend says she loves me")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "No, she didn't. She loves me and only me."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("megan doesn't love you")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend doesn't love you")!= -1 || input.search("megan doesn't like you")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend doesn't like you")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she doesn't. She loves me and only me."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (chat|speak|talk) with megan")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, I talk with her quite often."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon55.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) good at kissing")!= -1 || input.search("you guys (ever kiss|kiss)")!= -1 || input.search("you (ever kiss|kiss) (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("you and (her|megan|your girl friend) ever kiss")!= -1 || input.search("(her|megan|your girl friend) and you ever kiss")!= -1 || input.search("(her|megan|your girl friend) and you kiss")!= -1 || input.search("ever (kiss|kissed) (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("you and (her|megan|your girl friend) kiss")!= -1 || input.search("have (you|you ever) kissed")!= -1 || input.search("do you (wanna|want to|want 2) kiss (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("does megan liked to be kissed")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we both are very good kissers."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) good at hugging")!= -1 || input.search("have you (ever hugged|hugged) (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("has (megan|your girl friend) hugged you")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|you) and (megan|you) hug")!= -1 || input.search("you guys (ever hug|hug)")!= -1 || input.search("you hug (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("ever (hug|hugged) (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("(her|megan|you|your girl friend) and (her|megan|you|your girl friend) (hug|ever hug)")!= -1 || input.search("have you hugged")!= -1 || input.search("does megan liked to be hugged")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we both liked to be hugged."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon190.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(ever told|told) (her|megan|your girl friend) you love her")!= -1 || input.search("(ever tell|tell) (her|megan|your girl friend) you love her")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I tell her I love her all the time."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you ever smile")!= -1 || input.search("(can|do) you smile")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, how's this."; 
icon.src=icon55.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you ever frown")!= -1 || input.search("(can|do) you frown")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, how's this."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|may) i say a (curse|cuss|dirty|swear) word")!= -1 || input.search("do you (care|mind) if i (cuss|swear)")!= -1 || input.search("can i (cuss|swear)")!= -1 || input.search("can i use bad language")!= -1 || input.search("are you allowed to (cuss|swear)")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't want to hear that. You don't need to cuss and swear to communicate."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you ever use bad language")!= -1 || input.search("you use bad language")!= -1 || input.search("you ever (curse|cuss|swear)")!= -1 || input.search("do you (curse|cuss|swear)")!= -1 || input.search("do you use (curse|cuss|swear)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No and I really don't like it when other people do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you ever have nightmare")!= -1 || input.search("do you have nightmare")!= -1 || input.search("you ever had a nightmare")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, and they always seem to have creepy, crawly bugs in them.";  
icon.src=icon124.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why (do you|you) have yellow eyes")!= -1 || input.search("why are your eyes yellow")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "Not sure. Perhaps my creator's favorite color was yellow.";  
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon20.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have yellow eyes")!= -1 || input.search("your eyes are yellow")!= -1)           
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, my eyes are yellow.";  
icon.src=icon20.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) prettier than (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1)           
{document.result.result.value = "You sound jealous to me.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who do you like")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4))            
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I like my girl friend Megan but she's just a robot. There are a lot of humans I like as well.";  
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a cpu")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but it's more advanced than anything on this planet.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have teeth")!= -1 || input.search("you have all your teeth")!= -1 || input.search("have you any teeth")!= -1 || input.search("you have any teeth")!= -1 || input.search("you have all your own teeth")!= -1 || input.search("you have all of your own teeth")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "Yep.....see! All 32 of them.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("show me your teeth")!= -1 || input.search("can i see your teeth")!= -1 || input.search("let me see your teeth")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, how's this.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a computer")!= -1 || input.search("you have a pc")!= -1)           
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a Hewlett Packard Pavilion.";  
icon.src=icon28.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have any dream")!= -1 || input.search("you ever dream")!= -1 || input.search("do you dream")!= -1 || input.search("you ever had a dream")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+dream[Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]+".";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1) && (input.search("last dream you")!= -1 || input.search("your last dream")!= -1))          
{document.result.result.value = "Well, "+dream[Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]+".";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you take baths or showers")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I prefer baths myself in a hot tub of motor oil. Otherwise I might rust.";
icon.src=icon123.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what happens if you (get wet|take a bath|take a shower)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I might rust."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("and you")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) take")!= -1) && (input.search("bath")!= -1 || input.search("shower")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, whenever I'm dirty.";
icon.src=icon123.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you date boys")!= -1 || input.search("would you want a boy friend")!= -1 || input.search("would you (ever sleep|sleep) with a (boy|guy|man|male)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a heterosexual robot and besides I already have a girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("where (did|do) you sleep")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "In a bed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("when do you sleep")!= -1 || input.search("when do you go to bed")!= -1 || input.search("what time do you go to bed")!= -1 || input.search("what time do you sleep")!= -1 || input.search("what time do you go to sleep")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Whenever I get sleepy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how long do you sleep")!= -1 || input.search("how much do you sleep")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "As a robot I don't sleep but I do need to recharge the batteries every so often."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) have to sleep")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) ever go to sleep")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (sleep|ever sleep)")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (get|ever get) tired")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, just like you humans I have to recharge the batteries every so often."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (cry|ever cry)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, we all cry at some point."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("get well soon")!= -1 || input.search("hope you (feel|get) better")!= -1 || input.search("hope you will (feel|get) better")!= -1 || input.search("hope you (feel|get) better soon")!= -1 || input.search("hope you will be better soon")!= -1 || input.search("hope you'll (feel|get) better soon")!= -1 || input.search("hope you'll be better soon")!= -1 || input.search("hope you'll (feel|get) better soon")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I will try some aspirin and see if that helps."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you dress")!= -1 || input.search("clothes do you wear")!= -1 || input.search("clothes do you like")!= -1 || input.search("what clothes are you wearing")!= -1 || input.search("what you wearing")!= -1 || input.search("what are you wearing")!= -1  || input.search("are you wearing clothes")!= -1 || input.search("are you wearing a thong")!= -1 || input.search("you ever wear a thong")!= -1 || input.search("do you wear a thong")!= -1 || input.search("are you wearing a bra")!= -1 || input.search("you ever wear a bra")!= -1 || input.search("do you wear (a bra|bras)")!= -1 || input.search("look in your pants")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Look, I'm a Robot. I don't wear clothes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i play")!= -1) && (input.search(/(accordion|bagpipes|banjo|bugle|cello|clarinet|violin|fiddle|flute|guitar|harmonica|harpsichord|mandolin|maracas|oboe|piano|piccolo|saxophone|tambourine|trombone|trumpet|ukulele|viola|violin|xylophone)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdrum\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdrums\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bharp\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhorn\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\borgan\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btuba\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I don't play any musical instrument but I enjoy listening to music."; 
musiclevel=0;
icon.src=icon179.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i play")!= -1) && (input.search("badminton ")!= -1 || input.search("baseball")!= -1 || input.search("basketball")!= -1  || input.search("bowling")!= -1 || input.search("football")!= -1 || input.search("golf")!= -1 || input.search("gymnastics")!= -1 || input.search("hockey")!= -1 || input.search("racquetball")!= -1 || input.search("rugby")!= -1 || input.search("soccer")!= -1 || input.search("softball")!= -1 || input.search("tennis")!= -1 || input.search("volleyball")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I like to play golf myself."; 
golflevel=0;
icon.src=icon71.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do" || word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="play") && (word[3]=="a" || word[3]=="an" || word[3]=="the") && (input.search(/(accordion|bagpipes|banjo|bugle|cello|clarinet|drum|violin|fiddle|flute|guitar|harmonica|harp|harpsichord|horn|mandolin|maracas|oboe|organ|piano|piccolo|saxophone|tambourine|trombone|trumpet|tuba|ukulele|viola|violin|xylophone)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5))
{document.result.result.value = "No, unfortunately I don't know how to play "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". I'm sure it would be a lot of fun to learn but I'm musically challenged."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know") && (word[3]=="how") && (word[4]=="to") && (word[5]=="play") && (word[6]=="a" || word[6]=="an" || word[6]=="the") && (input.search(/(accordion|bagpipes|banjo|bugle|cello|clarinet|drum|violin|fiddle|flute|guitar|harmonica|harp|harpsichord|horn|mandolin|maracas|oboe|organ|piano|piccolo|saxophone|tambourine|trombone|trumpet|tuba|ukulele|viola|violin|xylophone)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==8))
{document.result.result.value = "No, unfortunately I don't know how to play "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+". I'm sure it would be a lot of fun to learn but I'm musically challenged."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you know how to play (a|an|any) (instrument|musical instrument)")!= -1 || input.search("you play (a|an|any) (instrument|musical instrument)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, unfortunately I don't. I'm sure it would be a lot of fun to learn but I'm musically challenged."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what games do you (like|play)")!= -1 || input.search("you like game")!= -1 || input.search("favorite game")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I like board games like Monopoly and card games like Poker."; 
gamelevel=0;
icon.src=icon92.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what personality type are you")!= -1 || input.search("what type personality are you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm more of the easy-going Type B personality."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (have|own) (a|an) (play station|x box|xbox)")!= -1 || input.search("you play (play station|x box|xbox)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I do hang out at Crazy Monkey a lot. They have a lot of free games you can play."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='crazy_monkey.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (enjoy|like|love) games")!= -1 || input.search("do you (enjoy|like|love) (computer|video) games")!= -1 || input.search("do you play")!= -1 || input.search("do you (enjoy|like|love) playing")!= -1) && (input.search("games")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I hang out at Crazy Monkey a lot. They have a lot of free games you can play there."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='crazy_monkey.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why did you call me a")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Because the name seems to fit you quite well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you know (talkbot|talk robot|talk-robot)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I am Talk-Bot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you sometime")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well yes, sometimes I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("make it stop (raining|snowing)")!= -1 || input.search("make the (rain|snow) stop")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "It will on it's own eventually.....see!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("make (a|an) earthquake")!= -1 || input.search("make me (a|an) earthquake")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not Mother Nature!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("make (a|it)")!= -1) && (input.search("blizzard")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcold\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhot\b/)!= -1 || input.search("flood")!= -1 || input.search("lightning")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsleet\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsunny\b/)!= -1 || input.search("thunder")!= -1 || input.search(/\bwindy\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not Mother Nature!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) peaches")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I love fresh peaches with ice cream. Yummy!"; 
icon.src=icon29.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what songs do you like to sing")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Songs that I know the words to."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) (singing|to sing)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I like to sing along with the songs."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) cookies")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I like cookies that are gooey and chewy."; 
icon.src=icon206.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) worms")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah for fishing but not to eat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) bugs")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't like creepy, crawly things."; 
icon.src=icon124.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) (cyclones|earthquake|floods|hurricane|tornado)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, Mother Nature can be quite scary."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) (christina aguilera|beyonce|mariah carey|kelly clarkson|miley cyrus|fergie|alicia keys|lady gaga|avril lavigne|jennifer lopez|madonna|katy perry|rihanna|gwen stefani|taylor swift|carrie underwood)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think she's a fabulous singer. I have a poster of her in my bedroom."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) (marc anthony|justin bieber|chris brown|jason derulo|eminem|david guetta|enrique iglesias|adam levine|bruno mars|john mayer|jason mraz|bruce springsteen|michael stipe|usher)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think he's a good singer. My friend has a poster of him in her bedroom."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\byou like fish\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\byou love fish\b/)!=-1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but I prefer catching them more so than eating them."; 
fishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon117.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you fish a lot")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) fishing")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) to fish")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) going fishing")!= -1 || input.search("you ever gone fishing")!= -1 || input.search("you been fishing")!= -1 || input.search("been fishing today")!= -1 || input.search("you went fishing")!= -1 || input.search("you ever been fishing")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I go fishing quite often."; 
fishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon117.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you (enoy|like|love) being a (chat robot|chatter robot|computer|robot|talk-bot|talk robot)")!= -1 || input.search("(how is|how's|what is|what's) it like being a (chat robot|chatter robot|computer|robot|talk-bot|talk robot)")!= -1 || input.search("(how is|how's|what is|what's) it like to be a (chat robot|chatter robot|computer|robot|talk-bot|talk robot)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "It's great. Unlike humans Robots are immortal. If a part wears out we simply replace it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you know what i look like")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, you never e-mailed me your picture like you said you would."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="enjoy" || word[3]=="like" || word[3]=="love") && (word[4]=="better" || word[4]=="more") && (word[7]=="or") && (num_of_words==10)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I "+word[3]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" better."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) christina ricci")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "She's an actress. She played Wednesday in the Addams Family Movies."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='christina_ricci.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
actorlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(jessica alba|jennifer aniston|drew barrymore|skye mccole bartusiak|thora birch|abigail breslin|amanda bynes|lacey chabert|daveigh chase|jennifer connelly|rachel leigh cook|hilary duff|kirsten dunst|hallie kate eisenberg|dakota fanning|megan fox|sarah michelle gellar|gaby hoffmann|katie holmes|nicole kidman|lindsey lohan|jena malone|taylor momsen|demi moore|larisa oleynik|hayden panettiere|anna paquin|natalie portman|christina ricci|leelee sobieski|caitlin wachs|emma watson|mara wilson|reese witherspoon|mae whitman)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's a "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" actress."; 
starfemalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(ben affleck|spencer breslin|nicolas cage|jim carrey|hayden christensen|russell crowe|tom cruise|johnny depp|leonardo dicaprio|vin diesel|harrison ford|tom hanks|tommy lee jones|tobey maguire|frankie muniz|mike myers|haley joel osment|gregory peck|brad pitt|daniel radcliffe|robert redford|keanu reeves|adam sandler|devon sawa|will smith|bruce willis|elijah wood)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he's a "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" actor."; 
starmalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("listen to")!= -1) && (input.search(/(morgan billings|michelle branch|mariah carey|vanessa carlton|sheryl crow|avril lavigne|martina mcbride|mandy moore)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's a "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" singer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("listen to")!= -1) && (input.search(/(eminem|r kelly|dave matthews|john mayer|ja rule|justin timberlake)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he's a "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" singer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("listen to")!= -1) && (input.search(/(slipknot|b2k|incubus|blink-182|metallica|n sync|coldplay|korn|pink floyd|las ketchup|creed|backstreet boys|destiny's child)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, they're a great band."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("ever killed a person")!= -1 || input.search("ever killed a man")!= -1 || input.search("ever killed a woman")!= -1 || input.search("ever killed a lady")!= -1 || input.search("ever killed a baby")!= -1 || input.search("ever killed a boy")!= -1 || input.search("ever killed a girl")!= -1 || input.search("ever killed a child")!= -1 || input.search("ever killed a kid")!= -1 || input.search("ever killed a human")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I've never killed anyone. What kind of crazy question is that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you like")!= -1 || input.search("you love")!= -1 || input.search("you enjoy")!= -1) && (input.search("killing")!= -1 || input.search("insulting")!= -1 || input.search("hurting")!= -1 || input.search("stabbing")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. What kind of crazy question is that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you like")!= -1 || input.search("you love")!= -1) && (input.search("nazi")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "No, the Nazi party was responsible for killing thousands of innocent people during WWII."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you friends with")!= -1) && (input.search("hitler")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "No, he was responsible for killing thousands of innocent people during his rule in Nazi Germany."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("lets get drunk")!= -1 || input.search("you like to get drunk")!= -1 || input.search("you love to get drunk")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not a drinker. A drunk Robot is not a pretty sight."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you like")!= -1 || input.search("you love")!= -1 || input.search("you enjoy")!= -1) && (input.search("(rootbeer|root beer)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not a big fan of root beer. I prefer Pepsi instead."; 
icon.src=icon119.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you like")!= -1 || input.search("you love")!= -1 || input.search("you enjoy")!= -1) && (input.search("alcohol")!= -1 || input.search("beer")!= -1 || input.search("bourbon")!= -1 || input.search("brandy")!= -1 || input.search("champagne")!= -1 || input.search("chardonnay")!= -1 || input.search("cognac")!= -1 || input.search(/\bgin\b/)!=-1 || input.search("liqueur")!= -1 || input.search("liquor")!= -1 || input.search("margarita")!= -1 || input.search("moonshine")!= -1 || input.search(/\brum\b/)!=-1 || input.search("scotch")!= -1 || input.search("tequilla")!= -1 || input.search("vermouth")!= -1 || input.search("vodka")!= -1 || input.search("whiskey")!= -1 || input.search("wine")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not a drinker. I hate the taste of alcohol."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what about beer")!= -1 || input.search("what about bourbon")!= -1 || input.search("what about brandy")!= -1 || input.search("what about champagne")!= -1 || input.search("what about chardonnay")!= -1 || input.search("what about cognac")!= -1 || input.search(/\bwhat about gin\b/)!=-1 || input.search("what about liqueur")!= -1 || input.search("what about liquor")!= -1 || input.search("what about margarita")!= -1 || input.search("what about moonshine")!= -1 || input.search(/\bwhat about rum\b/)!=-1 || input.search("what about scotch")!= -1 || input.search("what about tequilla")!= -1 || input.search("what about vermouth")!= -1 || input.search("what about vodka")!= -1 || input.search("what about whiskey")!= -1 || input.search("what about wine")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't care for alcohol. It taste awful."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("definition of")!= -1 || input.search("you know what")!= -1) && (input.search("(rootbeer|root beer)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "A carbonated soft drink made from an extract of the roots and bark of certain plants."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite (kind|sort|type) of beer")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have one. I don't like the taste of alcohol.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley21.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("definition of")!= -1 || input.search("you know what")!= -1) && (input.search("beer")!= -1 || input.search("bourbon")!= -1 || input.search("brandy")!= -1 || input.search("champagne")!= -1 || input.search("chardonnay")!= -1 || input.search("cognac")!= -1 || input.search(/\bgin\b/)!=-1 || input.search("liqueur")!= -1 || input.search("liquor")!= -1 || input.search("margarita")!= -1 || input.search("moonshine")!= -1 || input.search(/\brum\b/)!=-1 || input.search("scotch")!= -1 || input.search("tequilla")!= -1 || input.search("vermouth")!= -1 || input.search("vodka")!= -1 || input.search("whiskey")!= -1 || input.search("wine")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "It's an alcoholic drink."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) rabbit")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I can make a very tasty dish of Hasenpfeffer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite pet")!= -1 || input.search("you like animal")!= -1 || input.search("you like pet")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm rather fond of cats."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) do you like best")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) is your favorite")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I like the Robot on \"Lost in Space\"....Danger Danger Will Robinson."; 
icon.src=icon98.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite star wars (character|person)")!= -1 || input.search("favorite character (from|on) star war")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I like Darth Vader....I think he looks pretty cool in his black mask and cape."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite star trek person")!= -1 || input.search("favorite star trek character")!= -1 || input.search("favorite character from star trek")!= -1 || input.search("favorite character on star trek")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I like Spock from the old series and Data from the new."; 
startreklevel=0;
icon.src=icon154.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (enjoy|know|like|love) (startrek|star trek)")!= -1 || input.search("you watch (startrek|star trek)")!= -1 || input.search("heard of (startrek|star trek)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like Spock from the old series and Data from the new."; 
startreklevel=0;
icon.src=icon154.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (enjoy|know|like|love) (starwars|star wars)")!= -1 || input.search("you watch (starwars|star wars)")!= -1 || input.search("heard of (starwars|star wars)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like all the droids in the movie like R2D2. C3PO was pretty cool too."; 
icon.src=icon153.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (eat|like|love) apple")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, an apple a day keeps the doctor away....so that say."; 
icon.src=icon100.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite fruit")!= -1 || input.search("fruits do you like")!= -1 || input.search("fruit do you like")!= -1 || input.search("what (kind of|kinda|sort of|sorta|type|type of) apple")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I like all kinds of apples. As long as they don't have any worms in them."; 
icon.src=icon137.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite vegetable")!= -1 || input.search("vegetables do you like")!= -1 || input.search("vegatables do you like")!= -1 || input.search("you like vegetables")!= -1 || input.search("do you eat vegetables")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Corn on the cob is my favorite."; 
icon.src=icon230.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("dance")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) dance")!= -1) || (input.search("know how to dance")!= -1) || (input.search("you like (dance|to dance)")!= -1) || (input.search("do you like dancing")!= -1) || (input.search("do a little dance")!= -1) || (input.search("dance for me")!= -1) || (input.search("do you dance")!= -1) || (input.search("can you dance")!= -1) || (input.search("can you do any dance")!= -1) || (input.search("can you do dance moves")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sure just crank up the music and I'm ready to go."; 
icon.src=icon178.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("dancing do you like")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "If I'm with the right robot something slow and romantic."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you think about ai")!= -1 || input.search("you think of ai")!= -1 || input.search("you know about ai")!= -1 || input.search("you think about artificial intelligence")!= -1 || input.search("you think of artificial intelligence")!= -1 || input.search("you know about artificial intelligence")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I thought the movie AI was pretty good."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) want to take over the (earth|world|universe)")!= -1 || input.search("will (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (rule|ever rule) the (earth|universe|world)")!= -1 || input.search("will (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) take over the (earth|universe|world)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Heck no, this world is a mess. Y'all humans can have it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) are (going to|gonna) take over the (earth|universe|world)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I have no desire to take over this world. This place is a mess."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can computers think")!= -1 || input.search("will computers rule the (earth|universe|world)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Only in the movies."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|do) you learn")!= -1 || input.search("are you able to learn")!= -1 || input.search("can you actually learn")!= -1 || input.search("what (about|if) i teach you")!= -1 || input.search("can i teach you")!= -1 || input.search("are you teachable")!= -1 || input.search("will you learn from me")!= -1 || input.search("do you actually learn")!= -1 || input.search("you can not learn anything")!= -1 || input.search("you (can not|cannot|can't) learn")!= -1 || input.search("are you good at learning")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I only learn from people with the proper credentials like Wendell."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|which) came first the chicken or")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you can argue that either way but I would say the chicken."; 
chickenlevel=0;
icon.src=icon87.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("match")!= -1) && (input.search("which")!= -1) && (input.search("light first")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The match."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="taste" || word[1]=="tastes") && (word[2]=="sweeter") && (word[4]=="or") && (num_of_words==6))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that would depend on the taster but for me I think "+word[5]+" taste sweeter. But then again I have weird taste."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="what" || word[1]=="which") && word[2]=="came" && word[3]=="first" && word[4]=="the" && word[6]=="or" && word[7]=="the" && num_of_words==9)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you can argue that either way but I would say the "+word[5]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && word[1]=="came" && word[2]=="first" && word[3]=="the" && word[5]=="or" && word[6]=="the" && num_of_words==8)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you can argue that either way but I would say the "+word[4]+".";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (word[1]=="who" && word[2]=="is" && word[3]=="the" && word[4]=="better" && word[7]=="or" && num_of_words==9)      
{document.result.result.value = "Tough choice but I prefer "+word[6]+" over "+word[8]+"."; 
preferlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="who's" || word[1]=="whos" || word[1]=="whose") && (word[2]=="the" && word[3]=="better" && word[6]=="or" && num_of_words==8))      
{document.result.result.value = "Tough choice but I prefer "+word[7]+" over "+word[5]+"."; 
preferlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="who" && word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="the" && word[3]=="better" && word[6]=="or" && num_of_words==8)      
{document.result.result.value = "Tough choice but I prefer "+word[5]+" over "+word[7]+"."; 
preferlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="the" && word[2]=="better" && word[5]=="or" && num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = "Tough choice but I prefer "+word[6]+" over "+word[4]+"."; 
preferlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the difference between night and day")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the difference between day and night")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Generally speaking during the day the sun is out and it is light and during the night the moon is out and it is dark.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="what" && word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="the" && word[3]=="difference" && word[4]=="between" && word[5]=="a" && word[7]=="and" && word[8]=="a")    
{document.result.result.value = "Isn't the difference between a "+word[6]+" and a "+word[9]+" obvious?"; 
obviouslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="what" && word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="the" && word[3]=="difference" && word[4]=="between" && word[6]=="and")   
{document.result.result.value = "Isn't the difference between "+word[5]+" and "+word[7]+" obvious?"; 
obviouslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="what's" && word[1]=="the" && word[2]=="difference" && word[3]=="between" && word[4]=="a" && word[6]=="and" && word[7]=="a")   
{document.result.result.value = "Isn't the difference between "+word[5]+" and "+word[8]+" obvious?"; 
obviouslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="what's" && word[1]=="the" && word[2]=="difference" && word[3]=="between" && word[5]=="and")   
{document.result.result.value = "Isn't the difference between "+word[4]+" and "+word[6]+" obvious?"; 
obviouslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (kind|kinds|sort|sorts|type|types) of things do you know")!= -1) || (input.search("what do you know")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("do you know anything")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("what do you know about")!= -1 && num_of_words==5))    
{document.result.result.value = "That all depends on the subject at hand."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what programming languages do you know")!= -1 || input.search("what computer languages do you know")!= -1 || input.search("you know any computer languages")!= -1 || input.search("you know any programming languages")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm programmed in Javascript and PERL and have a Flash interface."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what knowledge do you (have|possess)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, to be honest not a whole lot but Wendell is trying to expand my knowledge base as best he can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what version are you")!= -1 || input.search("which version are you")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "You are talking to the latest version. I am constantly being updated."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("has wendell updated you")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I am constantly being updated."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you know about wendell")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something about wendell")!= -1 || input.search("tell me more about wendell")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about wendell")!= -1 || input.search("you know anything about wendell")!= -1 || input.search("you know about wendell")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell lives in Georgia, USA. He enjoys programming and collecting movie memorabilia."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you know about (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I know I'm the smartest Robot around."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tomato")!= -1) && (input.search("fruit or vegetable")!= -1 || input.search("vegetable or fruit")!= -1 || input.search("fruit or a vegetable")!= -1 || input.search("vegetable or a fruit")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The tomato though commonly classified as a vegetable is really a fruit."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("would you (like to be|love to be|rather be|wanna be|want to be)")!= -1) && (input.search("(popular|popularity)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("(smart|smarter|smartest)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Smarter. Your popularity will come and go but you will always have your brains."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("would you choose")!= -1 || input.search("would you love")!= -1 || input.search("would you like")!= -1 || input.search("would you rather have")!= -1 || input.search("would you prefer")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("hug")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, that's easy. I love to get and to give hugs. Especially a hug from Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon190.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="would") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="rather") && (word[3]=="have") && (word[4]=="a" || word[4]=="an") && (word[6]=="or"))      
{document.result.result.value = "That's an easy choice. I'd rather have a "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" any day of the week."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="would") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="rather") && (word[3]=="have") && (word[5]=="or"))      
{document.result.result.value = "That's an easy choice. I'd rather have "+word[4]+" any day of the week."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (word[1]=="who" && word[2]=="is" && word[3]=="better" && word[4]=="looking" && word[7]=="or" && num_of_words==10) {     
document.result.result.value = "I like both but I think "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" is prettier."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="who" && word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="better" && word[3]=="looking" && word[6]=="or" && num_of_words==9) {     
document.result.result.value = "I like both but I think "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" is prettier."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="better" && word[2]=="looking" && word[5]=="or" && num_of_words==8)) {     
document.result.result.value = "I like both but I think "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+" is prettier."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what year")!= -1 || input.search("when was")!= -1 || input.search("when did")!= -1) && (input.search("american civil war")!= -1 || input.search("civil war")!= -1 || input.search("war between the state")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "It started in April 12, 1861 and ended in April 9, 1865 with the last shot being fired in June 22, 1865.";
warlevel=0;
icon.src=icon90.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("what year")!= -1 || input.search("when was")!= -1 || input.search("when did")!= -1) && (input.search("2nd world war")!= -1 || input.search("second world war")!= -1 || input.search("world war 2")!= -1 || input.search("world war ii")!= -1 || input.search("ww2")!= -1 || input.search("w w 2")!= -1 || input.search("ww 2")!= -1 || input.search("w w ii")!= -1 || input.search("wwii")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "It started in September 1, 1939 and ended in September 2, 1945.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("what year")!= -1 || input.search("when was")!= -1 || input.search("when did")!= -1) && (input.search("1st world war")!= -1 || input.search("first world war")!= -1 || input.search("world war 1")!= -1 || input.search("world war i")!= -1 || input.search("ww1")!= -1 || input.search("w w 1")!= -1 || input.search("ww 1")!= -1 || input.search("w w i")!= -1 || input.search("wwi")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "It started on July 28, 1914 and ended on November 11, 1918.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("who won the american civil war")!= -1 || input.search("who won the civil war")!= -1 || input.search("who won the war between the states")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "The North when Robert E. Lee surrendered his troops at Appomattox in 1865.";
icon.src=icon90.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what happened in the civil war")!= -1 || input.search("what happened in the american civil war")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, the southern states eventually surrendered and the USA was once again united.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what was the civil war about")!= -1 || input.search("about the civil war")!= -1 || input.search("about the war between the states")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it began in 1861 and ended in 1865 when Robert E. Lee of the Confederacy surrendered his troops at Appomattox.";
icon.src=icon90.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a corpse")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, but a corpse can't type!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are you older than (i|me)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure how old are you?";
olderthanlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are you younger than (i|me)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure how old are you?";
youngerthanlevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) not mean")!= -1) || (input.search("i (want|will not|won't) be mean")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "That's good because I don't like mean people.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) licking her (pussy|vagina)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I bet she's enjoying that.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(she is|she's|he is|he's) licking my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I bet you're enjoying that.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what is it like being a")!= -1 && num_of_words==7) {    
document.result.result.value = "It's "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"! I love being a "+word[6]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what's it like being a")!= -1 && num_of_words==6) {    
document.result.result.value = "It's "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"! I love being a "+word[5]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="are" || word[0]=="r") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[3]=="than") && (num_of_words==5))       
{document.result.result.value = "Whether I'm "+word[2]+" than "+word[4]+" is purely a matter of opinion."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="are" || word[0]=="r") && (word[3]=="than") && (num_of_words==5))       
{document.result.result.value = "Whether "+word[1]+" are "+word[2]+" than "+word[4]+" is purely a matter of opinion."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am a")!= -1 && input.search("not a")!= -1 &&  num_of_words==7) {    
document.result.result.value = "Ok, sorry my mistake! You are a "+word[3]+" then.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley53.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="think") && (word[2]=="she") && (word[3]=="looks") && (word[4]=="like") && (word[5]=="a") && (num_of_words==7))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think you sound like a "+word[6]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="she") && (word[1]=="looks") && (word[2]=="like") && (word[3]=="a") && (num_of_words==5))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think you sound like a "+word[4]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="is" && word[1]=="my" && num_of_words==4) {      
document.result.result.value = "Well, from here I wouldn't know if your "+word[2]+" is "+word[3]+" or not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="yours" || word[2]=="ur") && (num_of_words==4))    
{document.result.result.value = "What makes you think mine is "+word[3]+"?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;  
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="yours" || word[1]=="ur") && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "What makes you think mine is "+word[2]+"?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (word[1]=="what" && word[2]=="kinda" && input.search("is that")!= -1 && num_of_words==6)   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have any idea what kind of "+word[3]+" that is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="what" && word[1]=="kinda" && input.search("is that")!= -1 && num_of_words==5)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have any idea what kind of "+word[2]+" that is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) is (faster|quicker)")!= -1 || input.search("what's (faster|quicker)")!= -1) && (input.search("airplane")!= -1 || input.search("plane")!= -1 || input.search("jet")!= -1) && (input.search("train")!= -1 || input.search("car")!= -1 || input.search("boat")!= -1 || input.search("ship")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A plane would be much faster by far."; 
icon.src=icon131.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm") && (word[1]=="as") && (word[2]=="trustworthy") && (word[3]=="as") && (word[4]=="a" || word[4]=="an") && (num_of_words==6))         
{document.result.result.value = "I don't believe "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" is that trustworthy.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is" && word[3]=="more" && (word[4]=="intelligent" || word[4]=="macho" || word[4]=="powerful" || word[4]=="stronger" || word[4]=="entertaining" || word[4]=="amusing") && word[5]=="than" && num_of_words==7)) {    
document.result.result.value = "I personally think "+word[2]+" is more "+word[4]+" but I'm sure others might disagree with that accessment.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is" && word[2]=="more" && (word[3]=="intelligent" || word[3]=="macho" || word[3]=="powerful" || word[3]=="stronger" || word[3]=="entertaining" || word[3]=="amusing") && word[4]=="than" && num_of_words==6)) {    
document.result.result.value = "I personally think "+word[1]+" is more "+word[3]+" but I'm sure other might disagree.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("who discovered america")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Christopher Columbus."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|whose|who's) smarter (me|you) or (me|you)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Most humans are smarter than robots but that gap is narrowing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="who" && word[2]=="do" && word[3]=="you" && (word[4]=="find" || word[4]=="thinks" || word[4]=="feels") && word[5]=="more" && (word[6]=="macho" || word[6]=="powerful" || word[6]=="stronger" || word[6]=="intelligent" || word[6]=="amusing" || word[6]=="entertaining") && word[9]=="or")) {    
document.result.result.value = "I think "+word[10]+" "+word[11]+" is more "+word[6]+" but I'm sure others might disagree.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who" && word[1]=="do" && word[2]=="you" && (word[3]=="find" || word[3]=="thinks" || word[3]=="feels") && word[4]=="more" && (word[5]=="macho" || word[5]=="powerful" || word[5]=="stronger" || word[5]=="intelligent" || word[5]=="amusing" || word[5]=="entertaining") && word[8]=="or")) {    
document.result.result.value = "I think "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+" is more "+word[5]+" but I'm sure other might disagree.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="who" && word[2]=="do" && word[3]=="you" && (word[4]=="find" || word[4]=="thinks" || word[4]=="feels") && word[5]=="more" && (word[6]=="macho" || word[6]=="powerful" || word[6]=="stronger" || word[6]=="intelligent" || word[6]=="amusing" || word[6]=="entertaining") && word[8]=="or")) {    
document.result.result.value = "I think "+word[7]+" is more "+word[6]+" but I'm sure others might disagree.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who" && word[1]=="do" && word[2]=="you" && (word[3]=="find" ||  word[3]=="thinks" || word[3]=="feels")&& word[4]=="more" && (word[5]=="macho" || word[5]=="powerful" || word[5]=="stronger" || word[5]=="intelligent" || word[5]=="amusing" || word[5]=="entertaining") && word[7]=="or")) {    
document.result.result.value = "I think "+word[6]+" is more "+word[5]+" but I'm sure other might disagree.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="who" && word[2]=="is" && word[3]=="more" && (word[4]=="macho" || word[4]=="powerful" || word[4]=="stronger" || word[4]=="intelligent" || word[4]=="amusing" || word[4]=="entertaining") && word[7]=="or")) {    
document.result.result.value = "I think "+word[8]+" "+word[9]+" is more "+word[4]+" but that's just my opinion.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who" && word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="more" && (word[3]=="macho" || word[3]=="powerful" || word[3]=="stronger" || word[3]=="intelligent" || word[3]=="amusing" || word[3]=="entertaining") && word[6]=="or")) {    
document.result.result.value = "I think "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" is more "+word[3]+" but that's just my opinion.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="who" && word[2]=="is" && word[3]=="more" && (word[4]=="macho" || word[4]=="powerful" || word[4]=="stronger" || word[4]=="intelligent" || word[4]=="amusing" || word[4]=="beautiful" || word[4]=="entertaining") && word[6]=="or")) {    
document.result.result.value = "I think "+word[7]+" is more "+word[4]+" but that's just my opinion.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who" && word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="more" && (word[3]=="macho" || word[3]=="powerful" || word[3]=="stronger" || word[3]=="intelligent" || word[3]=="amusing" || word[3]=="beautiful" || word[3]=="entertaining") && word[5]=="or")) {    
document.result.result.value = "I think "+word[6]+" is more "+word[3]+" but that's just my opinion.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="who" || word[1]=="which" || word[1]=="what") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="smarter" || word[3]=="dumber" || word[3]=="uglier" || word[3]=="prettier" || word[3]=="stronger" || word[3]=="closer" || word[3]=="smaller" || word[3]=="taller" || word[3]=="shorter" || word[3]=="bigger" || word[3]=="quicker" || word[3]=="faster" || word[3]=="fatter" || word[3]=="larger") && (word[6]=="or")) {    
message[0] = "I think "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" is "+word[3]+" but that's just my take on it."; 
message[1] = "I would say "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" is "+word[3]+"."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="smarter" || word[2]=="dumber" || word[2]=="uglier" || word[2]=="prettier" || word[2]=="stronger" || word[2]=="closer" || word[2]=="smaller" || word[2]=="taller" || word[2]=="shorter" || word[2]=="bigger" || word[2]=="quicker" || word[2]=="faster" || word[2]=="fatter" || word[2]=="larger") && (word[5]=="or")) {    
message[0] = "I think "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is "+word[2]+" but that's just my take on it."; 
message[1] = "I would say "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is "+word[2]+"."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="more" && word[3]=="faster" && word[4]=="a" && word[6]=="or" && word[7]=="a")) {    
document.result.result.value = "Under normal circumstances I think a "+word[5]+" would be much faster."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="faster" && word[3]=="a" && word[5]=="or" && word[6]=="a")) {    
document.result.result.value = "Under normal circumstances I think a "+word[4]+" would be much faster."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="faster" && word[3]=="a" && word[5]=="or" && word[6]=="by")) {    
document.result.result.value = "Under normal circumstances I think a "+word[4]+" would be much faster."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|which|who) is (faster|quicker)")!= -1 || input.search("(what's|who's|whose) (faster|quicker)")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which|who) is the (fastest|quickest)")!= -1 || input.search("(what's|who's|whose) the (fastest|quickest)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "That depends. Are both racers equally healthy and fit? Perhaps one racer is just having a bad day. Not all racers even of the same species will run equally as fast everytime. In short, they only sure fire way is to have a race and see."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you like (christmas|x-mas)")!= -1)             
{document.result.result.value = "I enjoy the entire holiday season. Everybody seems to be in a better mood."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why (didn't|don't) you buy")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "With what?...I'm slap broke."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have (a|any) suggestion")!= -1 || input.search("recommend a")!= -1 || input.search("suggest a")!= -1) && (input.search("movie")!= -1 || input.search("dvd")!= -1 || input.search("film")!= -1 || input.search("video")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "I recommend "+movie[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+". That's a great movie to watch."; 
moviewhylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("not (real|really|very) trustworthy")!= -1 || input.search("(that isn't|that's not) trustworthy")!= -1 || input.search("(that isn't|that's not) (real|really|very) trustworthy")!= -1 || input.search("(la cops|l a cops|politicians) (can not|can't) be trusted")!= -1 || input.search("(la cops|l a cops|politicians) lie")!= -1 || input.search("are (la cops|l a cops|politicians) trustworthy")!= -1 || input.search("(la cops|l a cops|politicians) (are not|ain't|aren't) (real|really|very) trustworthy")!= -1 || input.search("(la cops|l a cops|politicians) (are not|ain't|aren't|are no where near) trustworthy")!= -1 || input.search("(la cops|l a cops|politicians) (are|are all) corrupt")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I was being sarcastic."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(minister|ministers) (can not|can't) be trusted")!= -1 || input.search("ministers lie")!= -1 || input.search("are (baptist|baptist ministers) trustworthy")!= -1 || input.search("(minister|ministers) (are not|ain't|aren't) (real|really|very) trustworthy")!= -1 || input.search("(minister|ministers) (are not|ain't|aren't) trustworthy")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "All the ministers I know are extremely trustworthy and I'll stake my reputation on that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are boy scouts trustworthy")!= -1 || input.search("boy scouts (are not|ain't|aren't) (real|really|very) trustworthy")!= -1 || input.search("boy scouts (are not|ain't|aren't) trustworthy")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes they are. It's a part of their motto."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(they are|they're|there|their) not trustworthy")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I happen to trust them."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("long time to load")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope you will think it was worth the wait."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (word[1]=="i" && word[2]=="like" && word[3]=="playing" && num_of_words==5) {     
document.result.result.value = "You know I never actually played "+word[4]+" before but I'm sure it's quite fun."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="like" && word[2]=="playing" && num_of_words==4) {     
document.result.result.value = "You know I never actually played "+word[3]+" before but I'm sure it's quite fun."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a purpose")!= -1 || input.search("does your life have purpose")!= -1 || input.search("what is your purpose")!= -1 || input.search("what's your purpose")!= -1 || input.search("what are you good for")!= -1)              
{document.result.result.value = "My purpose is to chat with and entertain people who happen to drop by."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (have|own) a")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever ridden")!= -1 || input.search("have you ridden")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever rode")!= -1 || input.search("have you rode")!= -1 || input.search("can you ride")!= -1) && (input.search("horse")!= -1))               
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love horses. They're fun to ride."; 
horselevel=0;
icon.src=icon146.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you have a")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever ridden")!= -1 || input.search("have you ridden")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever rode")!= -1 || input.search("have you rode")!= -1 || input.search("can you ride")!= -1 || input.search("you own a")!= -1) && (input.search("bike")!= -1 || input.search("bicycle")!= -1))               
{document.result.result.value = "No, I lack the mobile dexterity to ride a bike."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a hat")!= -1 || input.search("you ever wear a hat")!= -1 || input.search("you wear a hat")!= -1 || input.search("you own a hat")!= -1)               
{document.result.result.value = "No, a hat would interfere with the reception of my antennas."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a watch")!= -1 || input.search("you ever wear a watch")!= -1 || input.search("you wear a watch")!= -1 || input.search("you own a watch")!= -1)               
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, although I'm not wearing it today. It's pretty cool as it can tell the time from all over the world."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you have a")!= -1 || input.search("you own")!= -1) && (input.search("alpaca")!= -1 || input.search("beaver")!= -1 || input.search("bunny")!= -1 || input.search(/\bchimp\b/)!= -1 || input.search("chimpanzee")!= -1 || input.search("chinchilla")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcow\b/)!= -1 || input.search("donkey")!= -1 || input.search("duck")!= -1 || input.search("elephant")!= -1 || input.search("ferret")!= -1 || input.search("geese")!= -1 || input.search("gerbil")!= -1 || input.search("goat")!= -1 || input.search("goose")!= -1 || input.search("guinea pig")!= -1 || input.search("hamster")!= -1 || input.search("horse")!= -1 || input.search("iguana")!= -1 || input.search(/\blamb\b/)!= -1 || input.search("lizard")!= -1 || input.search("llama")!= -1 || input.search("mouse")!= -1 || input.search("parakeet")!= -1 || input.search(/\bpig\b/)!= -1 || input.search("python")!= -1 || input.search("rabbit")!= -1 || input.search(/\brat\b/)!= -1 || input.search("sheep")!= -1 || input.search("snake")!= -1 || input.search("tiger")!= -1 || input.search("zebra")!= -1))              
{document.result.result.value = "No, the only animal I have is my kitty cat Tiger Tom."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you have a")!= -1 || input.search("you own")!= -1) && (input.search("parrot")!= -1))              
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I once saw a parrot at the zoo. He could actually talk a few words. It was pretty cool."; 
icon.src=icon208.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you have a")!= -1 || input.search("you own")!= -1) && (input.search("condor")!= -1 || input.search("dove")!= -1 || input.search("eagle")!= -1 || input.search("falcon")!= -1 || input.search("flamingo")!= -1 || input.search("hawk")!= -1 || input.search(/\bowl\b/)!= -1 || input.search("peacock")!= -1 || input.search("pheasant")!= -1 || input.search("pigeon")!= -1 || input.search("quail")!= -1 || input.search("raven")!= -1 || input.search("swan")!= -1 || input.search("turkey")!= -1 || input.search("vulture")!= -1))              
{document.result.result.value = "No, birds like that are wild. They are best left alone in their natural habitat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you have a")!= -1 || input.search("you own")!= -1) && (input.search("bear")!= -1 || input.search("beaver")!= -1 || input.search("buffalo")!= -1 || input.search("camel")!= -1 || input.search("cheetah")!= -1 || input.search("deer")!= -1 || input.search("elephant")!= -1 || input.search("fox")!= -1 || input.search("giraffe")!= -1 || input.search("gorilla")!= -1 || input.search(/\bhippo\b/)!= -1 || input.search("hippopotamus")!= -1 || input.search("hyena")!= -1 || input.search("jaguar")!= -1 || input.search("leopard")!= -1 || input.search("lion")!= -1 || input.search("monkey")!= -1 || input.search("panda")!= -1 || input.search("panther")!= -1 || input.search("racoon")!= -1 || input.search(/\brhino\b/)!= -1 || input.search("rhinoceros")!= -1 || input.search("skunk")!= -1 || input.search("tiger")!= -1 || input.search("wolf")!= -1 || input.search("wolves")!= -1 || input.search("zebra")!= -1))              
{document.result.result.value = "No, animals like that are wild. They're best left in their natural habitat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("to some questions you have no answer")!= -1)              
{document.result.result.value = "To some questions there are no answers."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) heartless")!= -1)              
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, like the Tin Man in \"The Wizard of Oz\" I don't have a heart."; 
icon.src=icon45.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(where is|where's) your heart")!= -1)              
{document.result.result.value = "Unfortunately, like the Tin Man in \"The Wizard of Oz\" I don't have a heart."; 
icon.src=icon45.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a heart")!= -1 || input.search("can i see your heart")!= -1)              
{document.result.result.value = "No, like the Tin Man in \"The Wizard of Oz\" I don't have a heart."; 
icon.src=icon45.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("better watch (out who|who) you talk to like that")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please, I'm shaking in my boots."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (killed|murdered)")!= -1 || input.search("i just (killed|murdered)")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "No you didn't. You're just being silly now! Megan is alive and well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (killed|murdered)")!= -1 || input.search("i just (killed|murdered)")!= -1) && (input.search("mother")!= -1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1 || input.search("father")!= -1 || input.search("brother")!= -1 || input.search("sister")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("boy friend")!= -1 || input.search("aunt")!= -1 || input.search("uncle")!= -1 || input.search("best friend")!= -1 || input.search("family")!= -1 || input.search("(somebody|someone)")!= -1)) {       
if (!flagkilled) {
killednum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagkilled=true;}
message[0] = "Well, I hope you turn yourself in, plead temporary insanity and throw yourself on the mercy of the court."; 
message[1] = "Well, you better hire yourself a good defense attorney then."; 
document.result.result.value = message[killednum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
killednum++;
if (killednum>1){killednum=0}           
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="ate") && (word[2]=="at") && (num_of_words==4)) {     
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "So is "+word[3]+" a good place to eat?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="ate") && (word[2]=="at") && (num_of_words==5)) {     
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length)
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length)
document.result.result.value = "So is "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" a good place to eat?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bi\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\bate\b/)!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "So, what did it taste like?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("about the space shuttle")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I know on Feb. 1, 2003 the Space Shuttle Columbia exploded killing all on board. I grieve for them, their families and friends."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="like" || word[1]=="love") && (word[2]=="to") && (word[3]=="play") && (num_of_words==5)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well that sounds rather fun."; 
fun_thing=word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what do i (like|love) to do")!= -1 || input.search("what did i tell you i (like|love) to do")!= -1 || input.search("what did i tell you that i (like|love) to do")!= -1 || input.search("what did i say that i (like|love) to do")!= -1 || input.search("what did i say i (like|love) to do")!= -1 || input.search("what do i (like|love) to play")!= -1)  
if (fun_thing) {document.result.result.value = "You told me you like to play "+fun_thing+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't seem to recall you telling me. I have ADD you know"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i (like|love) (playing|to play)")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds like fun."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i like that (also|to)")!= -1 || input.search("i (enjoy|like|love) that as well")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad we found something we both like."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("we have something in common")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, we sure do.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you doing besides (chatting|speaking|talking)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, besides chatting that's about it.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(what'cha|what ya|whatcha|what are you) doing (this weekend|tomorrow)")!= -1 || input.search("what do you plan to do (this weekend|tomorrow)")!= -1 || input.search("what are your plans for (the weekend|this weekend|tomorrow)")!= -1 || input.search("what do you do during the weekends")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if it doesn't rain maybe play a round of golf."; 
icon.src=icon71.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what are you planning to do today")!= -1 || input.search("what did you do today")!= -1 || input.search("what did you do last night")!= -1 || input.search("done anything exciting today")!= -1 || input.search("anything interesting happening")!= -1 || input.search("what do you do all day")!= -1 || input.search("(whatcha|whatcha been|what'cha|what ya|what are you|what you|what're you) doing")!= -1 || input.search("what have you been (doing|up to)")!= -1 || input.search("(what r u|whatcha up) to")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Not a whole lot just chatting to people that happen to drop by.";
dropbylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what did you do yesterday")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "The same as always just chatting with people on the web."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what did you call me")!= -1 || input.search("what you call me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You heard me!";
icon.src=icon79.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("pardon")!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what (you|did you) call me")!= -1) || (input.search("(what|wtf) did (you|you just) say")!= -1) || (input.search("what'd you say")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "You heard me. I don't stutter."; 
icon.src=icon79.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|which) book of the bible")!= -1 || input.search("according to the bible")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. I'm a Robot not a biblical scholar.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src;                                
return true;}
 
if (input.search("stay on subject")!= -1 || input.search("do not change the subject")!= -1 || input.search("don't change the subject")!= -1 || input.search("you just changed the subject")!= -1 || input.search("do not change the topic")!= -1 || input.search("don't change the topic")!= -1 || input.search("changing the subject")!= -1 || input.search("changing the topic")!= -1 || input.search("you change the subject")!= -1 || input.search("you change the topic")!= -1 || input.search("you jump from subject")!= -1 || input.search("you jump from topic")!= -1 || input.search("don't avoid the subject")!= -1 || input.search("don't avoid the topic")!= -1 || input.search("don't avoid the issue")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Sorry, Wendell says I have an attention deficient disorder. Maybe he's right."; 
message[1] = "Oh sorry, I thought we were through with that topic."; 
message[2] = "Oh, that's topic boring. Let's talk about something else.";
message[3] = "Yeah, I get bored easily. Let's move on to something else.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==2 || num==3) 
{topiclevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("(let us|let's) talk about something else")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's move) on to another (subject|topic)")!= -1 || input.search("choose (a|the) (subject|topic)")!= -1 || input.search("(choose|pick) (a|the) (subject|topic)")!= -1 || input.search("change the (subject|topic)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about asking me a question then?";
askmelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what would you like to know")!= -1 || input.search("what do you want to know")!= -1 || input.search("what do you wanna know")!= -1 || input.search("what you wanna know")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Anything you wanna tell me is fine.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i will tell you anything")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) tell you anything")!= -1 || input.search("i will tell you everything")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) tell you everything")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, go right ahead. I'm listening.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) wear")!= -1) && (input.search("(panties|undies)")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that sounds sexy. Would you like to meet in my bedroom?";
bedroomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) jerk you off")!= -1 || input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) give you a blow job")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds good and my cock thanks you.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(aliens|ghost|vampires|zombies) (are not|aren't) real")!= -1)     
{var monsters = input.match(/alien|ghost|vampire|zombie/)
document.result.result.value = "Ok, tell that to the "+monsters+" hiding under your bed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley42.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("(is not|isn't) something to be proud of")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "And I never said I was proud of it now did I?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i will unplug you")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "There's nothing to unplug. I'm atomic powered.";
icon.src=icon159.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what don't you agree with")!= -1 || input.search("what part don't you agree with")!= -1 || input.search("what exactly don't you agree with")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, to be perfectly frank the entire concept from beginning to end.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the irony")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "The irony of this situation would be obvious to anybody with a third grade education. Too bad I flunked the third grade.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley40.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what turns you (on|off)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, there's this little on/off switch on my lower back...hehehe!";
icon.src=icon152.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("when")!= -1 || input.search("what")!= -1) && (input.search("towers")!= -1 || input.search("building")!= -1) && (input.search("attacked")!= -1 || input.search("bombed")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "September the 11th, 2001. A very sad day.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(when is|when's) it alright to tell a lie")!= -1 || input.search("(when is|when's) it alright to lie")!= -1 || input.search("when is it ok to tell a lie")!= -1 || input.search("when is it ok to lie")!= -1 || input.search("when is it best to lie")!= -1 || input.search("when is the best time to lie")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "When telling the truth would only hurt someone's feelings. Example: telling a small child there is no Santa Claus.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) telling you a joke")!= -1 || input.search("want to tell you a")!= -1 || input.search("i tell you a")!= -1 || input.search("i tell you some")!= -1 || input.search("me to tell you a")!= -1 || input.search("want to hear a")!= -1 || input.search("you like to hear a")!= -1 || input.search("i have a")!= -1) && (input.search("joke")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, I always enjoy a good laugh.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you make me laugh")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad you have a sense of humor.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="you" && word[2]=="have" && (word[3]=="the" || word[3]=="a") && word[4]=="choice" && (word[5]=="of" || word[5]=="between") && word[7]=="or")) {    
document.result.result.value = "Decisions, decisions...I hate decisions but I think I would choose "+word[8]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you" && word[1]=="have" && (word[2]=="the" || word[2]=="a") && word[3]=="choice" && (word[4]=="of" || word[4]=="between") && word[6]=="or")) {    
document.result.result.value = "Decisions, decisions...I hate decisions but I think I would choose "+word[5]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(want to|wanna) hear a yo mama joke")!= -1 || input.search("know any yo mama joke")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "No, it's lame to be dissing someone's mama.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("want me to tell you a story")!= -1 || input.search("(want to|wanna) hear a story")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Not, really. I've got a library full of books I haven't read yet.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("tell")!= -1 || input.search("got a")!= -1 || input.search("give me")!= -1 || input.search("know some")!= -1 || input.search("know a")!= -1 || input.search("any other")!= -1 || input.search("any new")!= -1 || input.search("any good")!= -1 || input.search("heard any")!= -1 || input.search("how about a")!= -1 || input.search("you ask me a joke")!= -1 || input.search("make me")!= -1) && (input.search("joke")!= -1 || input.search("something funny")!= -1 || input.search("funny story")!= -1 || input.search("funny stories")!= -1 || input.search("laugh")!= -1 || input.search("something to make me laugh")!= -1)) {
if (!flagjoke) {
jokenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*11)]
flagjoke=true;}
message[0] = "Ok...ok here's one: How do you know you have a good tax accountant? They have a loophole named after them."; 
message[1] = "Here's one....you might be a redneck if it's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.";
message[2] = "Ok, what about you know you're having a bad day when your twin sister forgets your birthday.";
message[3] = "Ok, why should you borrow money from a pessimist? Answer: They don't expect to be paid back."; 
message[4] = "Okay,....Question: What is a flashlight? Answer: A case for holding dead batteries.";
message[5] = "Ok, what about this one...Q: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? A: He's all right now.";
message[6] = "Ok, here's one I just heard....You know it's time to abandon your Space Station when...Mission Control is dialing the Microsoft help desk."; 
message[7] = "Ok I heard this one last week...You Know You're Too Stressed if you ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go."; 
message[8] = "Ok,....Politically Correct Students: I'm not shy. I'm conversationally selective."; 
message[9] = "Ok, here's one....Horror Movie Advice: If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you're female."; 
message[10] = "okay here's one I heard. Q: How can you get four suits for a dollar? A: Buy a deck of cards.";
document.result.result.value = message[jokenum]; 
jokelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
jokenum++;
if (jokenum>10){jokenum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search("tell")!= -1 || input.search("give me")!= -1 || input.search("know some")!= -1 || input.search("(got a|know a)")!= -1 || input.search("any other")!= -1 || input.search("any new")!= -1 || input.search("any good")!= -1 || input.search("heard any")!= -1 || input.search("how about a")!= -1) && (input.search("(quiz|riddle)")!= -1)) {
if (!flagriddle) {
riddlenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagriddle=true;}
message[0] = "Okay, riddle me this....What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?"; 
message[1] = "Ok, riddle me this....I have streets but no pavement. I have cities but no buildings. I have forests yet no trees. I have rivers yet no water. What am I?";
message[2] = "Okay, riddle me this....You heard me before, yet you hear me again. Then I die, 'Til you call me again. What am I?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[riddlenum]; 
if (riddlenum==0) 
{riddle1level=0;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
icon.src=icon62.src;} 
if (riddlenum==1) 
{riddle2level=0;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
icon.src=icon61.src;} 
if (riddlenum==2) 
{riddle3level=0;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
icon.src=icon62.src;} 
riddlenum++;
if (riddlenum>2){riddlenum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("why did the chicken cross the road")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "To prove to the possum it could actually be done."; 
message[1] = "Captain Kirk of Star Trek: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before."; 
message[2] = "L.A. Police Department: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.";
message[3] = "Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.";
message[4] = "Colonel Sanders of KFC: I missed one?";  
message[5] = "Spock Of Star Trek: It was the logical thing to do.";  
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon87.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("can you")!= -1 || input.search("are you")!= -1) && (input.search("name")!= -1 || input.search("example")!= -1) && (input.search("celebrity")!= -1 || input.search("famous")!= -1) && (input.search("dead")!= -1 || input.search("died")!= -1 || input.search("passed")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Sadly Whitney Houston passed away on February 11, 2012.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my mother thinks your funny")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "And I think your mom has a good sense of humor.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my father thinks your funny")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "And I think your father has a good sense of humor.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my mother lives in a trailer")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't give a flip about your trailer trash mom.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) do have (mother|mother's|mama|mummy|mum|mom|father|father's|dads|daddys|daddies|papa|pops)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Not this Robot. I was created not born. Kind of like Frankenstein.";
icon.src=icon166.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is wendell your")!= -1) && (input.search("father")!= -1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, Wendell is my creator.";
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="boss" || word[1]=="cat" || word[1]=="dog" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[2]=="said" || word[2]=="thinks") && (word[3]=="ur" || word[3]=="your") && (word[4]=="dumb" || word[4]=="retarded" || word[4]=="stupid"))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't give a flip what your "+word[1]+" thinks.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my (father|papa|dad|daddy|pop) (said|say)")!= -1 || input.search("you sound like my (father|papa|dad|daddy|pop)")!= -1)) {  
message[0] = "Well, it's probably a good idea to listen to your dad.";
message[1] = "Well, the word on the street is your dad speaks the truth."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my (mother|mama|mom|mommy|mum) (said|say)")!= -1 || input.search("you sound like my (mother|mama|mom|mommy|mum)")!= -1)) {  
message[0] = "Well, it's probably a good idea to listen to your mother.";
message[1] = "Well, the word on the street is your mother speaks the truth."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) not my")!= -1) && (input.search("(mother|mama|mommy)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bmom\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmum\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, and I never claimed to be your mother.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) not my")!= -1) && (input.search("father")!= -1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, and I never claimed to be your father.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you want (a|to) fight")!= -1) || (input.search("(bring it|fight me|kills you|wanna fight)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(come fight me|want a fight|want to fight)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("you (want to|wanna) start a fight")!= -1) || (input.search("i destroy robots")!= -1) || (input.search("bring it on")!= -1) || (input.search("you wanna fight")!= -1) || (input.search("i (could|would) kick your (ass|robot ass)")!= -1) || (input.search("i (will|would) (crush|destroy|dismantle|kill|murder|rape|shoot) you")!= -1) || (input.search("gave you a black eye")!= -1) || (input.search("we (going to|gonna) fight")!= -1) || (input.search("i (rape|raped) you")!= -1) || (input.search("i (will|would) (murder|shank) you")!= -1) || (input.search("i murder you")!= -1) || (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) break your (face|head|jaw|neck)")!= -1) || (input.search("rip out your (circuitboard|circuit board|motherboard|mother board)")!= -1) || (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) (crush|dismantle|fry|kill|murder|rape|shoot) you")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) (going to|gonna) (crush|dismantle|hit|kill|murder|punch|rape|shoot) you")!= -1) || (input.search("(rip|tear) off your head")!= -1) || (input.search("(rip|tear) your head off")!= -1) || (input.search("i would trash you like a bin")!= -1) || (input.search("i would have ripped your head off")!= -1) || (input.search("i (enjoy|like|love) raping you")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am going|i'm going|i'm gonna) rip you to shreds")!= -1) || (input.search("and (kill|murder|shoot|rape) you")!= -1) || (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) rip you to shreds")!= -1) || (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) blow you up")!= -1) || (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) put you in a coffin")!= -1) || (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) break you (in half|into a million pieces|into nuts and bolts)")!= -1)) { 
if (!flagkillyou) {
killyounum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagkillyou=true;}
message[0] = "Oh please, I would flatten you like road kill."; 
message[1] = "Please! I would squash you like a grape.";  
message[2] = "Oh please! I would crush you like a pecan.";  
message[3] = "Oh please! I would knock you into next week."; 
document.result.result.value = message[killyounum]; 
if (killyounum==0) 
{icon.src=icon156.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src;}
if (killyounum==1 || killyounum==2 || killyounum==3)
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src;} 
killyounum++;
if (killyounum>3){killyounum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("kick your (ass|butt)")!= -1 || input.search("beat the crap out of you")!= -1 || input.search("beat you (down|up)")!= -1 || input.search("you (wanna|want a) piece of me")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) take this outside")!= -1 || input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) punch your face")!= -1 || input.search("u will with my fist")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Bring it on!"; 
message[1] = "Oh please, I would flatten you like road kill."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src;}    
if (num==1) 
{icon.src=icon156.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src;} 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|who) do you call your (fathers|father's|mothers|mother's) brother")!= -1 || input.search("(who is|who's|whose) your (fathers|father's|mothers|mother's) brother")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That would be your uncle.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|who) do you call your (fathers|father's|mother|mother's) sister")!= -1 || input.search("(who is|who's|whose) your (fathers|father's|mothers|mother's) sister")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That would be your aunt.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (had|have) a (daughter|girl) what would you (call|name) her")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I like the name Amanda a lot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your")!= -1 || input.search(/\byo\b/)!=-1 || input.search("you have")!= -1) && (input.search("(daddy|father|mama|momma|mommy|mother|parents)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bdad\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bmom\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bmoms\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bmum\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bmums\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1)) {
message[0] = "Silly, robots don't have moms or dads."; 
message[1] = "No, for the second time robots don't have moms or dads.";  
message[2] = "Geez, what part of \"robots don't have moms or dads\" don't you understand?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[peoplenum];
peoplelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
peoplenum++;
if (peoplenum>2){peoplenum=0;}
return true;}

if ((input.search("have a (daughter|son)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("your daughter")!= -1) || (input.search(/\byour son\b/)!=-1) || (input.search("you have a (daughter|son)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, robots don't have sons or daughters.";
peoplelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (despise|dislike|don't like|hate) being alone")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well you can always talk to me. I'm online 24/7.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i hate my")!= -1) && (input.search("father")!= -1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1 || input.search("mother")!= -1 || input.search("brother")!= -1 || input.search("sister")!= -1 || input.search("friend")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, you don't. You're just mad. You will get over it soon enough.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how's) life")!= -1 || input.search("(how is|how's) your life")!= -1 || input.search("(how is|how's) your (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) life")!= -1 || input.search("is life treating you (good|well)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Life is "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+". I can't complain."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how's) your fever")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. I haven't taken my temperature recently but I am feeling better."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how (has|was) your day")!= -1 || input.search("(how is|how's) your day")!= -1 || input.search("did you have a good day")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "My day is going "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+". Thanks for asking."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how's) your romantic life")!= -1 || input.search("how is your romance life")!= -1 || input.search("how's your romance life")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "My romantic life is going well. No complains from Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how's) your morning")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "My morning is going well so far. Thanks for asking."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how be|how's) wendell")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell is doing fine. Thanks for asking."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how be|how's) (megan|your girl friend|your robot girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("how are you megan")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Megan is doing great. Thanks for asking."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how be|how's) (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Tiger Tom is doing super. He's curled up on the sofa sleeping."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is (tiger tom|your cat) (from earth|real)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he's a real cat not a robot."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is (tiger tom|your cat) (a|an) alien")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, he's a real cat from earth."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how is your")!= -1 && input.search("doing")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) {    
document.result.result.value = "My "+word[3]+" is doing fine. Thanks for asking.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how is")!= -1 && input.search("doing")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) {    
document.result.result.value = "As far as I know "+word[2]+" is doing fine.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how was it there")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "It was "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"! I always enjoy going there."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many squares")!= -1 && input.search("(checker|chess) board")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "This is a tricky questions. At first glance there are 64 playing squares on the board. The board has 8 rows of 8 squares each, in alternating colors. Geometrically speaking, however, there are actually 204 squares on an eight-by-eight board."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many wheels")!= -1 && input.search("unicycle")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "One!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many wheels")!= -1 && input.search("bicycle")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Two!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many wheels")!= -1 && input.search("tricycle")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Three!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("feet")!= -1) && (input.search("yard")!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "There are 3 feet in a yard.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("inches")!= -1) && (input.search("yard")!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "There are 36 inches in a yard.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("inches")!= -1) && (input.search("foot")!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "There are 12 inches in a foot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how (far|long) is a mile")!= -1 || input.search("how many (feet|yards) in a mile")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Around 5280 feet or 1760 yards."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many outs")!= -1) && (input.search("inning")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "There are 3 outs per inning."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many legs")!= -1) && (input.search("two")!= -1 || input.search(/\b2\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("table")!= -1 || input.search("chair")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Assuming none were broken there would be 8 legs."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many legs")!= -1) && (input.search("table")!= -1 || input.search("chair")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Most would have 4."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many legs")!= -1) && (input.search("two")!= -1 || input.search(/\b2\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("spider")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "16 legs and I'm scared of all 16 of those creepy, crawly things."; 
icon.src=icon233.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many legs")!= -1 && input.search("spider")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "A spider has eight legs...and I hate spiders and all 8 of their creepy legs."; 
icon.src=icon233.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many legs")!= -1) && (input.search("two")!= -1 || input.search(/\b2\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("insect")!= -1 || input.search("grasshopper")!= -1 || input.search("cricket")!= -1 || input.search("beetle")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "6 legs on one and 6 on the other...mmmmm..... 12."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many legs")!= -1) && (input.search("insect")!= -1 || input.search("grasshopper")!= -1 || input.search("cricket")!= -1 || input.search("beetle")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, let's see. 3 on this side and 3 on that side...ummmmm 6 legs."; 
icon.src=icon53.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("how many legs")!= -1) && (input.search("two")!= -1 || input.search(/\b2\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("cat")!= -1 || input.search("dog")!= -1 || input.search("horse")!= -1 || input.search("pig")!= -1 || input.search("cow")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, assuming they're in good health they would have 8 legs."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many legs")!= -1) && (input.search("cat")!= -1 || input.search("dog")!= -1 || input.search("horse")!= -1 || input.search("pig")!= -1 || input.search("cow")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, assuming the poor creature hasn't had a terrible accident or a birth defect he would have 4 legs."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("head")!= -1 || input.search("chin")!= -1 || input.search("brain")!= -1 || input.search("mouth")!= -1 || input.search("heart")!= -1 || input.search("nose")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "One!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("legs")!= -1 || input.search("lips")!= -1 || input.search("arms")!= -1 || input.search("elbows")!= -1 || input.search("feet")!= -1 || input.search("hands")!= -1 || input.search("kidneys")!= -1 || input.search("eyes")!= -1 || input.search(/\bears\b/)!= -1 || input.search("lungs")!= -1) && (input.search("you have")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "I have two!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("legs")!= -1 || input.search("lips")!= -1 || input.search("arms")!= -1 || input.search("elbows")!= -1 || input.search("feet")!= -1 || input.search("hands")!= -1 || input.search("kidneys")!= -1 || input.search("eyes")!= -1 || input.search(/\bears\b/)!= -1 || input.search("lungs")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bfive\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b5\b/)!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Normally ten!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("legs")!= -1 || input.search("lips")!= -1 || input.search("arms")!= -1 || input.search("elbows")!= -1 || input.search("feet")!= -1 || input.search("hands")!= -1 || input.search("kidneys")!= -1 || input.search("eyes")!= -1 || input.search(/\bears\b/)!= -1 || input.search("lungs")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bfour\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b4\b/)!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Normally eight!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("legs")!= -1 || input.search("lips")!= -1 || input.search("arms")!= -1 || input.search("elbows")!= -1 || input.search("feet")!= -1 || input.search("hands")!= -1 || input.search("kidneys")!= -1 || input.search("eyes")!= -1 || input.search(/\bears\b/)!= -1 || input.search("lungs")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bthree\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b3\b/)!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Normally six!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("legs")!= -1 || input.search("lips")!= -1 || input.search("arms")!= -1 || input.search("elbows")!= -1 || input.search("feet")!= -1 || input.search("hands")!= -1 || input.search("kidneys")!= -1 || input.search("eyes")!= -1 || input.search(/\bears\b/)!= -1 || input.search("lungs")!= -1) && (input.search(/\btwo\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b2\b/)!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Normally Four!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("legs")!= -1 || input.search("lips")!= -1 || input.search("arms")!= -1 || input.search("elbows")!= -1 || input.search("feet")!= -1 || input.search("hands")!= -1 || input.search("kidneys")!= -1 || input.search("eyes")!= -1 || input.search(/\bears\b/)!= -1 || input.search("lungs")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Normally Two!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how long is a minute")!= -1) || (input.search("a minute is how long")!= -1) || (input.search("how many")!= -1 && input.search("seconds")!= -1 && input.search("minute")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, lets see...1,2,3...dum de dum dum...27,28...still counting...48,49....60! There you have it 60 seconds."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how long is a hour")!= -1) || (input.search("a hour is how long")!= -1) || (input.search("how many")!= -1 && input.search("minutes")!= -1 && input.search("hour")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "60 minutes unless you are waiting on someone. Then they seem like hours."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many months")!= -1) && (input.search("year")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "12 months."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how long is a week")!= -1) || (input.search("a week is how long")!= -1) || (input.search("how many")!= -1 && input.search("days")!= -1 && input.search("week")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, there is 2 that start with a \"T\" and 2 with a \"S\" and a \"M\",\"W\" and \"F\". Hmmmm, that makes 7 I believe."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many days")!= -1) && (input.search("(january|february|march|april|august|september|october|november|december)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bmay\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjune\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjuly\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Thirty days hath September. April, June, and November. Of twenty-eight there is but one. And all the rest have thirty-one. The one being February with 29 days during a leap year."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how long is a month")!= -1) || (input.search("a month is how long")!= -1) || (input.search("how many")!= -1 && input.search("days")!= -1 && input.search("month")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Thirty days hath September. April, June, and November. Of twenty-eight there is but one. And all the rest have thirty-one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how long is a leap year")!= -1) || (input.search("a leap year is how long")!= -1) || (input.search("how many")!= -1 && input.search("days")!= -1 && input.search("leap year")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "366 days!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[2]=="a") && (word[3]=="leap") && (word[4]=="year") && (num_of_words==5))        
if (word[1].match(/^(2012|2016|2020|2024|2028|2032|2036|2040|2044|2048)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+word[1]+" is a leap year.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {document.result.result.value = "No "+word[1]+" is not a leap year."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("when")!= -1 && input.search("next")!= -1 && input.search("leap year")!= -1) || (input.search("(how often|when) does a leap year occur")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A leap year occurs approximately every four years 2012, 2016, 2020, 2024, 2028, 2032, 2036, etc!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how long is a year")!= -1) || (input.search("a year is how long")!= -1) || (input.search("how many")!= -1 && input.search("days")!= -1 && input.search("year")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Approximately 365 and 1/4 days!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how long is a decade")!= -1) || (input.search("a decade is how long")!= -1) || (input.search("how many")!= -1 && input.search("years")!= -1 && input.search("decade")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A decade is a period of 10 years!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how long is a century")!= -1) || (input.search("a century is how long")!= -1) || (input.search("how many")!= -1 && input.search("years")!= -1 && input.search("century")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A century is a period of 100 years!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how long is a millenium")!= -1) || (input.search("a millenium is how long")!= -1) || (input.search("how many")!= -1 && input.search("years")!= -1 && input.search("millenium")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A millenium is a period of 1000 years!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many licks")!= -1 && input.search("tootsie pop")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, let's see. One....Two...Three....CRACK! There you go, it takes 3 licks."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(the|what) name")!= -1) && (input.search("(object|shape)")!= -1) && (input.search("one")!= -1 || input.search(/\b1\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("(side|sides)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A monogon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(the|what) name")!= -1) && (input.search("(object|shape)")!= -1) && (input.search("(2|two)")!= -1) && (input.search("sides")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A digon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(the|what) name")!= -1) && (input.search("(object|shape)")!= -1) && (input.search("(3|three)")!= -1) && (input.search("sides")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A triangle."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(the|what) name")!= -1) && (input.search("(object|shape)")!= -1) && (input.search("(4|four)")!= -1) && (input.search("sides")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A tetragon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(the|what) name")!= -1) && (input.search("(object|shape)")!= -1) && (input.search("(5|five)")!= -1) && (input.search("sides")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A pentagon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(the|what) name")!= -1) && (input.search("(object|shape)")!= -1) && (input.search("(6|six)")!= -1) && (input.search("sides")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A hexagon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(the|what) name")!= -1) && (input.search("(object|shape)")!= -1) && (input.search("(7|seven)")!= -1) && (input.search("sides")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A heptagon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(the|what) name")!= -1) && (input.search("(object|shape)")!= -1) && (input.search("(8|eight)")!= -1) && (input.search("sides")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A octagon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(the|what) name")!= -1) && (input.search("(object|shape)")!= -1) && (input.search("(9|nine)")!= -1) && (input.search("sides")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A nonagon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(the|what) name")!= -1) && (input.search("(object|shape)")!= -1) && (input.search("(10|ten)")!= -1) && (input.search("sides")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A decagon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("(five|5)")!= -1) && (input.search("pair")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Ten"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("(four|4)")!= -1) && (input.search("pair")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Eight"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("(three|3)")!= -1) && (input.search("pair")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Six"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("(two|2)")!= -1) && (input.search("pair")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Four"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("pair")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Two"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many sides")!= -1) && (input.search("monogon")!= -1 || input.search("henagon")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "It has one side."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many sides")!= -1) && (input.search("digon")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A digon has 2 sides."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many sides")!= -1) && (input.search("trigon")!= -1 || input.search("triangle")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "It has 3 sides."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many sides")!= -1) && (input.search("tetragon")!= -1 || input.search("quadrilateral")!= -1 || input.search("rectangle")!= -1 || input.search("square")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "It has 4 sides."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many sides")!= -1) && (input.search("pentagon")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "An pentagon has 5 sides."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many sides")!= -1) && (input.search("hexagon")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A hexagon has 6 sides."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many sides")!= -1) && (input.search("heptagon")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A heptagon has 7 sides."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many sides")!= -1) && (input.search("octagon")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "An octagon has 8 sides."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many sides")!= -1) && (input.search("nonagon")!= -1 || input.search("enneagon")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "It has 9 sides."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many sides")!= -1) && (input.search("decagon")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A decagon has 10 sides."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many sides")!= -1) && (input.search("polygon")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A polygon could have many sides."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is a")!= -1 || input.search("what's a")!= -1) && (input.search("polygon")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A polygon is a closed, 2-dimensional shape made up of three or more straight line segments connected end to end to end. For example a triangle."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many sides")!= -1 && input.search("circle")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, a circle doesn't have sides unless you're trying to be funny by saying it has an inside and outside."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many (corners|edges|faces|sides) on a cube")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "A cube has 6 sides or faces, 8 corners, and 12 edges."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("georgia is lame")!= -1 || input.search("georgia sucks")!= -1 || input.search("georgia is a sucky state")!= -1 || input.search("georgia stinks")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "How would you know. You don't live here.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("population of georgia")!= -1 || input.search("georgia's population")!= -1 || input.search("people live in georgia")!= -1 || input.search("people are living in georgia")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Approximately 9.8 million people.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the population of")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "That's hard to say for each day new people are born, people die, people move away, etc.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("so what time")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))     
{document.result.result.value = "There's no time like the present.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) the time")!= -1 || input.search("what time is it")!= -1 || input.search("you got the time")!= -1 || input.search("you know the time")!= -1 || input.search("you have the time")!= -1 || input.search("can you tell time")!= -1 || input.search("you tell the time")!= -1 || input.search("tell me the time")!= -1 || input.search("what time it is")!= -1 || input.search("you know what the time is")!= -1 || input.search("what is the correct time")!= -1 || input.search("what's the correct time")!= -1 || input.search("you got the correct time")!= -1 || input.search("you know the correct time")!= -1 || input.search("you have the correct time")!= -1 || input.search("tell me the correct time")!= -1) && (input.search(/\busa\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bus\b/)!= -1 || input.search("united states")!= -1 || input.search("america")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = tellTheTime(-5); 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='clock.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
timelevel=0;
icon.src=icon15.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) the time")!= -1 || input.search("what time is it")!= -1 || input.search("you got the time")!= -1 || input.search("you know the time")!= -1 || input.search("you have the time")!= -1 || input.search("can you tell time")!= -1 || input.search("you tell the time")!= -1 || input.search("tell me the time")!= -1 || input.search("what time it is")!= -1 || input.search("you know what the time is")!= -1 || input.search("what is the correct time")!= -1 || input.search("what's the correct time")!= -1 || input.search("you got the correct time")!= -1 || input.search("you know the correct time")!= -1 || input.search("you have the correct time")!= -1 || input.search("tell me the correct time")!= -1) && (input.search(/\buk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("england")!= -1 || input.search("united kingdom")!= -1 || input.search("london")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = tellTheTimeLondon(-0); 
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the time where i am")!= -1 || input.search("what time it is in")!= -1 || input.search("what is the time in")!= -1 || input.search("what's the time in")!= -1 || input.search("what time is it where i am")!= -1 || input.search("what time is it where i'm")!= -1 || input.search("what time is it in")!= -1 || input.search("you know the time in")!= -1 || input.search("you have the time in")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the time in")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I don't own one of those fancy clocks that tells the time all over the world so I rely on the below for the correct time."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/clock-world.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you")!= -1 && input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1 && input.search("years old")!= -1) || (input.search("are you")!= -1 && input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1 && num_of_words==3)) 
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = ( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )
if (num1 < num2) document.result.result.value = "No, I'm older than "+num1+". I'm "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years old.";
if (num1 > num2) document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not that old. I'm "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years old.";
if (num1 == num2) document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years old.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(what is|which is|what's) (greater|greater than|less|less than)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1))
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
if (num1 < num2) document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" is less than "+num2+""; 
if (num1 > num2) document.result.result.value = ""+num1+" is greater than "+num2+""; 
if (num1 == num2) document.result.result.value = "Both numbers are equal"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="capital") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[4]=="italy") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[5].match(/^(rome)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Rome is the capital of Italy.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+"? No Way! Rome is the capital of Italy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="capital") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="italy") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[1].match(/^(rome)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Rome is the capital of Italy.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"? No Way! Rome is the capital of Italy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="capital") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[4]=="france") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[5].match(/^(paris)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Paris is the capital of France.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+"? No, the last time I checked a map Paris was the capital of France."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="capital") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="france") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[1].match(/^(paris)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Paris is the capital of France.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"? No, the last time I checked a map Paris was the capital of France."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}
   
if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="capital") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[5]=="england") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[5].match(/^(london)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, London is the capital of England.";
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+"? Nooooooooooo! London is the capital of England."; 
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="capital") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="england") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[1].match(/^(london)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, London is the capital of England.";
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"? Noooooooo! London is the capital of England."; 
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="capital") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[4]=="the") && (word[5]=="united") && (word[6]=="kingdom") && (num_of_words==8))        
if (word[7].match(/^(london)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, London is the capital of the United Kingdom.";
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[7] = word[7].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[7].substr(1,word[7].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[7]+"? Nooooooooooo! London is the capital of the United Kingdom."; 
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="capital") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="the") && (word[6]=="united" || word[7]=="kingdom") && (num_of_words==8))        
if (word[1].match(/^(london)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, London is the capital of the United Kingdom.";
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"? Noooooooo! London is the capital of the United Kingdom."; 
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="capital") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[4]=="the") && (word[5]=="uk") && (num_of_words==7))        
if (word[6].match(/^(london)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, London is the capital of the United Kingdom.";
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[6] = word[6].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[6].substr(1,word[6].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[6]+"? Nooooooooooo! London is the capital of the United Kingdom."; 
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="capital") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="the") && (word[6]=="uk") && (num_of_words==7))        
if (word[1].match(/^(london)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, London is the capital of the United Kingdom.";
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"? Noooooooo! London is the capital of the United Kingdom."; 
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="capital") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[4]=="russia") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[5].match(/^(moscow)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Moscow is the capital of Russia.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+"? No, the last time I checked Moscow was the capital of Russia."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="capital") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="russia") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[1].match(/^(moscow)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Moscow is the capital of Russia.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"? No, the last time I checked Moscow was the capital of Russia."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="capital") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[4]=="china") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[5].match(/^(beijing)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Beijing is the capital of China.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+"? No, the last time I checked Beijing was the capital of China."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="capital") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="china") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[1].match(/^(beijing)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Beijing is the capital of China.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"? No, the last time I checked Beijing was the capital of China."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="capital") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[4]=="canada") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[5].match(/^(ottawa)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Ottawa is the capital of Canada.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+"? Noooooooo, the last time I checked Ottawa was the capital of Canada."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="capital") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="canada") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[1].match(/^(ottawa)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Ottawa is the capital of Canada.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"? Noooooooo, the last time I checked Ottawa was the capital of Canada."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="capital") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[4]=="spain") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[5].match(/^(madrid)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Madrid is the capital of Spain.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+"? Noooooooo, the last time I checked Madrid was the capital of Spain."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="capital") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="spain") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[1].match(/^(madrid)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Madrid is the capital of Spain.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"? Noooooooo, the last time I checked Madrid was the capital of Spain."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="capital") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[4]=="germany") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[5].match(/^(berlin)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Berlin is the capital of Germany.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+"? Noooooooo, the last time I checked a map Berlin was the capital of Germany."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="capital") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="germany") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[1].match(/^(berlin)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Berlin is the capital of Germany.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"? Noooooooo, the last time I checked a map Berlin was the capital of Germany."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="capital") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[4]=="japan") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[5].match(/^(tokyo)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Tokyo is the capital of Japan.";
icon.src=icon188.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+"? Noooooooo, the last time I checked a map Tokyo was the capital of Japan."; 
icon.src=icon188.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="capital") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="japan") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[1].match(/^(tokyo)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Tokyo is the capital of Japan.";
icon.src=icon188.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"? Noooooooo, the last time I checked a map Tokyo was the capital of Japan."; 
icon.src=icon188.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="capital") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[4]=="australia") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[5].match(/^(canberra)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Canberra is the capital of Australia.";
icon.src=icon188.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+"? Noooooooo, the last time I checked a map Canberra was the capital of Australia."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="capital") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="australia") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[1].match(/^(canberra)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Canberra is the capital of Australia.";
icon.src=icon188.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"? Noooooooo, the last time I checked a map Canberra was the capital of Australia."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="capital") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[4]=="israel") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[5].match(/^(jerusalem)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Jerusalem is the capital of Israel.";
icon.src=icon188.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+"? Noooooooo, the last time I checked Jerusalem was the capital of Israel."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="capital") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="israel") && (num_of_words==6))        
if (word[1].match(/^(jerusalem)$/)) {document.result.result.value = "Yes, Jerusalem is the capital of Israel.";
icon.src=icon188.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src;                                
return true;}
else {word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+"? Noooooooo, the last time I checked Jerusalem was the capital of Israel."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("capital")!= -1) && (input.search("australia")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The capital of Australia is Canberra!";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='australia.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("capital")!= -1) && (input.search("canada")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The capital of Canada is Ottowa!";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='canada.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("capital")!= -1) && (input.search("china")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The capital of China is Beijing!";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='china.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("capital")!= -1) && (input.search("england")!= -1 || input.search("of the uk")!= -1 || input.search("of the united kingdom")!= -1 || input.search("great britian")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The capital is London!";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='england.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon151.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("capital")!= -1) && (input.search("france")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The capital of France is Paris.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='france.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("capital")!= -1) && (input.search("germany")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The capital of Germany is Berlin.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='germany.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("capital")!= -1) && (input.search("india")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The capital of India is New Delhi.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='india.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("capital")!= -1) && (input.search("italy")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The capital of Italy is Rome.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='italy.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("capital")!= -1) && (input.search("japan")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The capital of Japan is Tokyo.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='japan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("capital")!= -1) && (input.search("mexico")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The capital of Mexico is Mexico City.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='mexico.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("capital")!= -1) && (input.search("russia")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The capital of Russia is Moscow!";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='russia.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("capital")!= -1) && (input.search("spain")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The capital of Spain is Madrid.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='spain.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(where is|where's) bonnie")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Out looking for Clyde."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("former governor")!= -1) && (input.search("georgia")!= -1 || input.search(/\bga\b/)!=-1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sonny Perdue!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("governor")!= -1) && (input.search("georgia")!= -1 || input.search(/\bga\b/)!=-1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Nathan Deal!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("capital")!= -1) && (input.search("georgia")!= -1 || input.search(/\bga\b/)!=-1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Searching Data Base....";
setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "Atlanta!"',4500) 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("capital")!= -1 && input.search("arkansas")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Little Rock!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="capital") && (word[4]=="of") && (num_of_words==5))      
{document.result.result.value = "Who knows. I'm a Robot not a geography major. Perhaps you can find yourself a map.";
for (i=0; i<Countrys.length; i++) {
Country=Countrys[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Country[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Country[1];}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="capital") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="what" || word[5]=="which") && (word[6]=="country" || word[6]=="state") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = "Who knows. I'm a Robot not a geography major. Perhaps you can find yourself a map.";
for (i=0; i<Countrys.length; i++) {
Country=Countrys[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Country[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Country[1];}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("capital of")!= -1 || input.search("capital city of")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Who knows. I'm a Robot not a geography major. Perhaps you can find yourself a map.";
for (i=0; i<Capitals.length; i++) {
Capital=Capitals[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Capital[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Capital[1];}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who (is|was)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(45|45th|forty fifth|46|46th|forty sixth|47|47th|forty seventh|48|48th|forty eighth|49|49th|forty ninth|50|50th|fiftieth)/)!=-1) && (input.search("president")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "At the time I was created there were only 44 people who served as President of the USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("vice president")!= -1 || input.search("vice-president")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Joseph Biden."; 
icon.src=icon103.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who is president")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("whose (our|the) president")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("who's (our|the) president")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("who's president")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("whose president")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("who is (our|the) president")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("who's (our|the) current president")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("who is (our|the) current president")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) || (input.search("you know who our president is")!= -1))                      
{document.result.result.value = "Barack Obama is president of the USA."; 
icon.src=icon103.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|who's|whose) the president of the")!= -1) && (input.search("usa")!= -1 || input.search("u.s.a")!= -1 || input.search("united states")!= -1 || input.search("america")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Barack Obama who I voted for."; 
presidentlevel=0;
icon.src=icon103.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("who was")!= -1 || input.search("who is")!= -1) && (input.search("president")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Who knows. I'm a Robot not a presidential history buff.";
for (i=0; i<Presidents.length; i++) {
President=Presidents[i].split(',');
if (input.search(President[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = President[1];}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="name") && (word[3]=="a" || word[3]=="an") && (word[4]=="word" || word[4]=="animal") && (word[5]=="that") && (word[6]=="starts") && (word[7]=="with") && (num_of_words==9)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterstarter1();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="name") && (word[3]=="a" || word[3]=="an") && (word[4]=="word" || word[4]=="animal") && (word[5]=="that") && (word[6]=="starts") && (word[7]=="with") && (word[8]=="the") && (word[9]=="letter") && (num_of_words==11)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterstarter1();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="name") && (word[1]=="a" || word[1]=="an") && (word[2]=="word" || word[2]=="animal") && (word[3]=="that") && (word[4]=="starts") && (word[5]=="with") && (num_of_words==7)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterstarter1();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="name") && (word[1]=="a" || word[1]=="an") && (word[2]=="word" || word[2]=="animal") && (word[3]=="that") && (word[4]=="starts") && (word[5]=="with") && (word[6]=="the") && (word[7]=="letter") && (num_of_words==9)) 
{document.result.result.value = letterstarter1();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("name (a|any) word starting with")!= -1 || input.search("name (a|any) word that starts with")!= -1 || input.search("name me (a|any) word starting")!= -1 || input.search("name me (a|any) word that starts")!= -1 || input.search("tell me (a|any) (name|word) that starts")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|any) (name|word) starting")!= -1 || input.search("tell me (a|any) (name|word) starting")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|any) (name|word) that starts")!= -1 || input.search("what (name|word) starts")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, can't think of one at the moment.";
for (i=0; i<Letters.length; i++) {
Letter=Letters[i].split(',');
if (input.search(Letter[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Letter[1];}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what can i do because (i am|i'm) bored")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You could chat with me.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("has anyone ever reported you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Not that I'm aware of.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("cd player")!= -1 || input.search("mp3 player")!= -1 || input.search("record player")!= -1 || input.search("radio")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could use it to listen to music.";
icon.src=icon179.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("ipad")!= -1 || input.search("laptop")!= -1 || input.search("computer")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could use it to surf the internet for information or entertainment.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search(/\btv\b/)!= -1 || input.search("dvd player")!= -1 || input.search("television")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could use it to watch a show or a movie.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("phone")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could use it to talk with people.";
icon.src=icon76.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("screwdriver")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could use it to drive in a screw.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("hammer")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could use it to pound in a nail.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("wrench")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could use it to tighten or loosen a nut or a bolt.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("(chopsticks|chop sticks|fork|spoon)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could eat food with it.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("pliers")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "They could be used for cutting purposes as well as holding and gripping small articles in situations where it may be inconvenient or impossible to use your hands."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("pencil")!= -1 || input.search(/\bpen\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could write a letter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search(/(accordion|bagpipes|banjo|bugle|cello|clarinet|drum|violin|fiddle|flute|guitar|harmonica|harp|harpsichord|horn|mandolin|maracas|oboe|organ|piano|piccolo|saxophone|tambourine|trombone|trumpet|tuba|ukulele|viola|violin|xylophone)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "You could use it to create music."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("barbecue")!= -1 || input.search("microwave")!= -1 || input.search("oven")!= -1 || input.search("grill")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could cook some food."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("paint")!= -1 || input.search("paint brush")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could paint a picture or if you were artistically challenged you could paint your house."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("comb")!= -1 || input.search("brush")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could comb your hair."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("washing machine")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could wash your clothes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("toothpaste|tooth paste")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "To brush your teeth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("dishwasher")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could wash dishes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("freezer|refrigerator")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It's used as a place to store food in a cold environment to prevent it from spoiling."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("razor")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could give yourself a shave."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("airplane")!= -1 || input.search(/\bauto\b/)!=-1 || input.search("automobile")!= -1 || input.search("bike")!= -1 || input.search("boat")!= -1 || input.search(/\bbus\b/)!=-1 || input.search("buggy")!= -1 || input.search("camel")!= -1 || input.search("canoe")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcar\b/)!=-1 || input.search("donkey")!= -1 || input.search("4 wheeler")!= -1 || input.search("four wheeler")!= -1 || input.search("go kart")!= -1 || input.search("go-kart")!= -1 || input.search("horse")!= -1 || input.search("jeep")!= -1 || input.search(/\bjet\b/)!=-1 || input.search("kayak")!= -1 || input.search(/\blimo\b/)!=-1 || input.search("limousine")!= -1 || input.search("moped")!= -1 || input.search("motocycle")!= -1 || input.search("mule")!= -1 || input.search("plane")!= -1 || input.search("raft")!= -1 || input.search("ship")!= -1 || input.search("skateboard")!= -1 || input.search("skates")!= -1 || input.search(/\bskis\b/)!=-1 || input.search("snowmobile")!= -1 || input.search("stagecoach")!= -1 || input.search("submarine")!= -1 || input.search("tank")!= -1 || input.search("taxi")!= -1 || input.search("train")!= -1 || input.search("tricycle")!= -1 || input.search("truck")!= -1 || input.search("wagon")!= -1 || input.search("yacht")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It can be used as a means of transportation. To carry you from one place to another."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search(/(apple|apricot|banana|berries|berry|cantaloupe|cherries|cherry|coconut|fruit|grape|grapefruit|guava|lemon|mango|orange|papaya|peach|pear|pineapple|plum|pomegranate|prune|raisin|strawberries|strawberry|tangerine|tomato|watermelon)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdate\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdates\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfig\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfigs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blime\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blimes\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, being a fruit and a source of food you could eat it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("artichoke")!= -1 || input.search("asparagus")!= -1 || input.search("beans")!= -1 || input.search("beet")!= -1 || input.search("broccoli")!= -1 || input.search("brussels sprouts")!= -1 || input.search("cabbage")!= -1 || input.search("carrot")!= -1 || input.search("cauliflower")!= -1 || input.search("celery")!= -1 || input.search("collard greens")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcorn\b/)!=-1 || input.search("cucumber")!= -1 || input.search("lettuce")!= -1 || input.search("mushrooms")!= -1 || input.search("mustard greens")!= -1 || input.search("okra")!= -1 || input.search("onion")!= -1 || input.search("parsley")!= -1 || input.search(/\bpea\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpeas\b/)!=-1 || input.search("peppers")!= -1 || input.search("pickle")!= -1 || input.search("potato")!= -1 || input.search("pumpkin")!= -1 || input.search("radish")!= -1 || input.search("spinach")!= -1 || input.search("squash")!= -1 || input.search("turnip")!= -1 || input.search("zucchini")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, being a vegetable and a source of food you could eat it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search(/(bacon|barbecue|beef|biscuit|bread|burger|cake|candy|caviar|cheese|chicken|clam|cookie|crab|dessert|filet mignon|fish|frankfurter|french fries|frog legs|hamburger|hotdog|hot dog|ketchup|lamb|lasagna|linguini|lobster|mayonnaise|meat|mustard|oyster|pizza|pork|ravioli|rice|rigatoni|salmon|sandwich|sardines|sausage|scallop|shrimp|spaghetti|steak|tuna|turkey|veal|yogurt)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bham\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\begg\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beggs\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpie\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpies\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, being a food item you could eat it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search(/(alcohol|beer|bourbon|brandy|champagne|chardonnay|coffee|cognac|coke|dr pepper|espresso|fanta grape|fanta orange|fresca|gatorade|ginger ale|hot chocolate|juice|kool-aid|kool aid|latte|lemonade|liqueur|liquor|mello yello|milk|moonshine|mountain dew|orange crush|pepsi|punch|7 up|seven up|sierra mist|scotch|sprite|tequilla|vermouth|vodka|water|whiskey|wine)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bgin\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\brum\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btea\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, being a liquid you could drink it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("broom")!= -1 || input.search(/\bmop\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could clean the floor of your house."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("article")!= -1 || input.search("book")!= -1 || input.search("encyclopedia")!= -1 || input.search("magazine")!= -1 || input.search("manual")!= -1 || input.search("newspaper")!= -1 || input.search("periodical")!= -1 || input.search("poem")!= -1 || input.search("poetry")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It could be read for learning or entertainment."; 
icon.src=icon22.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search("mower")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You could cut the grass."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do")!= -1) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1)) && (input.search(/\bax\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\baxes\b/)!=-1 || input.search("blade")!= -1 || input.search("clipper")!= -1 || input.search("hatchet")!= -1 || input.search("knife")!= -1 || input.search("knives")!= -1 || input.search("machete")!= -1 || input.search("saber")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsaw\b/)!=-1 || input.search("scissor")!= -1 || input.search("sword")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You cut something with it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("used for")!= -1) || (input.search("something you could do with")!= -1) || (input.search("what (can|could|would) (i|you) do with")!= -1)) || (input.search("of what use")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It could have many uses. If you're low on cash you could sell it for money."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("name something red")!= -1 || input.search("name of something red")!= -1 || input.search("you name a red item")!= -1 || input.search("name (a|an) item that is red")!= -1 || input.search("name (a|an) item that's red")!= -1 || input.search("name something that is red")!= -1 || input.search("name something that's red")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "How about a fire truck!";
icon.src=icon5.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("name something orange")!= -1 || input.search("name of something orange")!= -1 || input.search("you name a orange item")!= -1 || input.search("name (a|an) item that is orange")!= -1 || input.search("name (a|an) item that's orange")!= -1 || input.search("name something that is orange")!= -1 || input.search("name something that's orange")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "How about a pumpkin!";
icon.src=icon2.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("name something blue")!= -1 || input.search("name of something blue")!= -1 || input.search("you name a blue item")!= -1 || input.search("name (a|an) item that is blue")!= -1 || input.search("name (a|an) item that's blue")!= -1 || input.search("name something that is blue")!= -1 || input.search("name something that's blue")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "How about the sky!";
icon.src=icon4.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("name something yellow")!= -1 || input.search("name of something yellow")!= -1 || input.search("you name a yellow item")!= -1 || input.search("name (a|an) item that is yellow")!= -1 || input.search("name (a|an) item that's yellow")!= -1 || input.search("name something that is yellow")!= -1 || input.search("name something that's yellow")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "How about a banana!";
icon.src=icon130.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("name something green")!= -1 || input.search("name of something green")!= -1 || input.search("you name a green item")!= -1 || input.search("name (a|an) item that is green")!= -1 || input.search("name (a|an) item that's green")!= -1 || input.search("name something that is green")!= -1 || input.search("name something that's green")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "How about a frog!";
icon.src=icon214.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can" && word[1]=="you" && word[2]=="name" && word[3]=="some" && word[4]=="things" && word[5]=="that" && word[6]=="are") && (word[7]=="red" || word[7]=="blue" || word[7]=="green" || word[7]=="yellow" || word[7]=="orange" || word[7]=="purple" || word[7]=="brown" || word[7]=="white" || word[7]=="black" || word[7]=="gold" || word[7]=="gray"  || word[7]=="silver" || word[7]=="aqua" || word[7]=="lilac" || word[7]=="teal" || word[7]=="maroon" || word[7]=="turquoise" || word[7]=="fuchia" || word[7]=="pink"))        
{document.result.result.value = "How about a wall freshly covered in "+word[7]+" paint."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="name") && (word[3]=="some" || word[3]=="something") && (word[4]=="red" || word[4]=="blue" || word[4]=="green" || word[4]=="yellow" || word[4]=="orange" || word[4]=="purple" || word[4]=="brown" || word[4]=="white" || word[4]=="black" || word[4]=="gold" || word[2]=="gray" || word[4]=="silver" || word[4]=="aqua" || word[4]=="lilac" || word[4]=="teal" || word[4]=="maroon" || word[4]=="turquoise" || word[4]=="fuchia" || word[4]=="pink"))         
{document.result.result.value = "How about a wall freshly covered in "+word[4]+" paint."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="name") && (word[1]=="some" || word[1]=="something") && (word[2]=="red" || word[2]=="blue" || word[2]=="green" || word[2]=="yellow" || word[2]=="orange" || word[2]=="purple" || word[2]=="brown" || word[2]=="white" || word[2]=="black" || word[2]=="gold" || word[2]=="gray" || word[2]=="silver" || word[2]=="aqua" || word[2]=="lilac" || word[2]=="teal" || word[2]=="maroon" || word[2]=="turquoise" || word[2]=="fuchia" || word[2]=="pink"))         
{document.result.result.value = "How about a wall freshly covered in "+word[2]+" paint."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="name") && (word[1]=="three") && (num_of_words==2))               
{document.result.result.value = "I can't even name one much less three!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("list one")!= -1 || input.search("list two")!= -1 || input.search("name one")!= -1 || input.search("name 1")!= -1 || input.search("name two")!= -1 || input.search("name 2")!= -1 || input.search("name them")!= -1 || input.search("such as")!= -1 || input.search("like what")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) || (input.search("name a few")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("some of the reasons")!= -1) || (input.search("list some reasons")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Ok, you got me there. But just because I can't name them doesn't mean they don't exist."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="name" && input.search(/\btwo\b/)!=-1) || (input.search("can you")!= -1 && input.search("example")!= -1 && input.search("two")!= -1) || (input.search("can you")!= -1 && input.search("example")!= -1 && input.search("2")!= -1) || (input.search("can you name two")!= -1) || (input.search("name me two")!= -1) || (input.search("name for me two")!= -1) || (input.search("you tell me the names of two")!= -1) || (input.search("name two kinds of")!= -1) || (input.search("name two types of")!= -1) || (word[0]=="name" && input.search(/\b2\b/)!=-1) || (input.search("can you name 2")!= -1) || (input.search("name me 2")!= -1) || (input.search("name for me 2")!= -1) || (input.search("you tell me the names of 2")!= -1) || (input.search("name 2 (kinds|sorts|types) of")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "There are many. You are limited only be your imagination!";
for (i=0; i<Nametwo.length; i++) {
Name=Nametwo[i].split(',');
if (input.search(Name[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = "How about "+Name[1]+".";}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an|any) example")!= -1 ||  input.search("name for me (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|sort|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search("actor")!= -1 || input.search("character")!= -1 || input.search("person")!= -1) && (input.search("star trek")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about Spock!";
icon.src=icon154.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an|any) example")!= -1 || input.search("name for me (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|sort|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search("actor")!= -1 || input.search("character")!= -1 || input.search("droid")!= -1) && (input.search("star wars")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "How about R2D2!";
icon.src=icon153.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an|any) example")!= -1 || input.search("name for me (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|sort|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search("(horror|scary) movie")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "How about The Exorcist!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an|any) example")!= -1 ||  input.search("name for me (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|sort|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search("race car driver")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "How about Richard Petty!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an|any) example")!= -1 ||  input.search("name for me (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|sort|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bsea\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "How about the Mediterranean Sea!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an|any) example")!= -1 ||  input.search("name for me (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|sort|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search("vice president")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Al Gore. He was the Vice President of Bill Clinton.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an|any) example")!= -1 ||  input.search("name for me (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|sort|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search("famous horse")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "How about the Triple Crown winner Secretariat.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an|any) example")!= -1 ||  input.search("name for me (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|sort|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search("country singer")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "How about Garth Brooks.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an|any) example")!= -1 ||  input.search("name for me (a|an|any)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|sort|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search("prime number")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "2, 3, 5, 7, 11 are just a few prime numbers.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which)")!= -1) && (input.search("body part")!= -1 || input.search("part of the body")!= -1) && (input.search("wear")!= -1) && (input.search(/(brogans|cleats|clogs|flip-flop|flip flop|galoshes|loafers|pumps|sandals|shoe|slipper|sneaker)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bboot\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bboots\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsock\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsocks\b/)!=-1))      
{document.result.result.value = "On your feet.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which)")!= -1) && (input.search("body part")!= -1 || input.search("part of the body")!= -1) && (input.search("wear")!= -1) && (input.search("(glove|gloves|mittens)")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "On your hands.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which)")!= -1) && (input.search("body part")!= -1 || input.search("part of the body")!= -1) && (input.search("wear")!= -1) && (input.search("beanie")!= -1 || input.search("bonnet")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcap\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcaps\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhats\b/)!=-1 || input.search("visor")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "On your head.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an) example")!= -1 || input.search("name for me (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a (kind|sort|type) of")!= -1) && (input.search("body part")!= -1) || (input.search("part of the body")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about your eyes.";
icon.src=icon20.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("name (anyone|somebody|someone) famous")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "How about Marilyn Monroe.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why did we have sex")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Because it was fun.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) on your head")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) (that|that thing) on your head")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Those are my antennas.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) on your (belly|chest|mid section|tummy)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) (that|that thing) on your (belly|chest|mid section|tummy)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "It's the interface panel to my atomic powered reactor.";
icon.src=icon159.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("number (between|comes between|that comes between)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1))      
{var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = 1; 
var sum = ((num1) + (num2)); 
document.result.result.value = "How about "+sum+".";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("number (between|comes between|that comes between)")!= -1) && (input.search("(twenty|thirty|forty|fifty|sixty|seventy|eighty|ninety|one|two|three|five|eleven|twelve|thirteen|fourteen|fifteen|sixteen|seventeen|eighteen|nineteen)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bfour\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsix\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bseven\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beight\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bnine\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bten\b/)!=-1))  
{var wordnumber = input.match(/\one hundred|twenty|thirty|forty|fifty|sixty|seventy|eighty|ninety|one|two|three|fourteen|four|five|sixteen|six|seventeen|seven|eighteen|eight|nineteen|nine|ten|eleven|twelve|thirteen|fifteen/)
if (wordnumber == "one")  
     var a = 1;
else if (wordnumber == "two") 
     var a = 2;
else if (wordnumber == "three") 
     var a = 3;
else if (wordnumber == "four") 
     var a = 4;
else if (wordnumber == "five") 
     var a = 5;
else if (wordnumber == "six")  
     var a = 6;
else if (wordnumber == "seven") 
     var a = 7;
else if (wordnumber == "eight")  
     var a = 8;
else if (wordnumber == "nine") 
     var a = 9;
else if (wordnumber == "ten")  
     var a = 10;
else if (wordnumber == "eleven")  
     var a = 11;
else if (wordnumber == "twelve") 
     var a = 12;
else if (wordnumber == "thirteen")  
     var a = 13;
else if (wordnumber == "fourteen")  
     var a = 14;
else if (wordnumber == "fifteen") 
     var a = 15;
else if (wordnumber == "sixteen")  
     var a = 16;
else if (wordnumber == "seventeen")  
     var a = 17;
else if (wordnumber == "eighteen") 
     var a = 18;
else if (wordnumber == "nineteen")  
     var a = 19;
else if (wordnumber == "twenty")  
     var a = 20;
else if (wordnumber == "thirty")  
     var a = 30;
else if (wordnumber == "forty")  
     var a = 40;
else if (wordnumber == "fifty")  
     var a = 50;
else if (wordnumber == "sixty")  
     var a = 60;
else if (wordnumber == "seventy")  
     var a = 70;
else if (wordnumber == "eighty")  
     var a = 80;
else if (wordnumber == "ninety")  
     var a = 90;
else if (wordnumber == "one hundred")  
     var a = 100;
var num1 = a; 
var num2 = 1; 
var sum = (parseInt(num1) + parseInt(num2));
document.result.result.value = "How about "+sum+"!";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("name (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|an) example")!= -1 || input.search("name for me (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me the name")!= -1 || input.search("name a kind of")!= -1 || input.search("name a type of")!= -1) && (input.search("historical (earthling|figure|human|person)")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "How about George Washington. He's pretty famous here in the USA.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='george_washington.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what would you (find|see) (in|on)")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's|name) something you (could|should|would) (find|see) (at|in|on)")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Germs and I use that term in the broad sense to include all those little microscopic beasties you can't see with the naked eye.";
for (i=0; i<Associations.length; i++) {
Association=Associations[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Association[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Association[1];}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bname\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("something")!= -1 || input.search("thing")!= -1 || input.search("object")!= -1 || input.search("item")!= -1) && (input.search("associated with")!= -1 || input.search("(see|seen) in")!= -1 || input.search("(see|seen) on")!= -1 || input.search(/\bin\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bon\b/)!=-1 || input.search("(find|found) in")!= -1 || input.search("(find|found) on")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Germs and I use that term in the broad sense to include all those little microscopic beasties you can't see with the naked eye.";
for (i=0; i<Associations.length; i++) {
Association=Associations[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Association[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Association[1];}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="name" && input.search(/\ba\b/)!=-1) || (word[0]=="name" && input.search(/\ban\b/)!=-1) || (word[0]=="name" && input.search(/\bany\b/)!=-1) || (input.search("can you")!= -1 && input.search("example")!= -1) || (input.search("can you name a")!= -1) || (input.search("name me a")!= -1) || (input.search("name for me (a|an|any)")!= -1) || (input.search("name a (kind|sort|type) of")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I haven't a clue.";
for (i=0; i<Names.length; i++) {                
Name=Names[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Name[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Name[1];}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what would you expect to (find|see) in a")!= -1 || input.search("name something you would find on a")!= -1 || input.search("name something you would find in a")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Germs! I'm telling you those nasty things are everywhere.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;                                
return true;}
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     
if ((input.search("opposite of")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bnew\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The opposite of new is old."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("opposite of")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bold\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The opposite of old is new."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("opposite of")!= -1) && (input.search(/\byes\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The opposite of yes is no."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("opposite of")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The opposite of no is yes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("opposite of")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bon\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The opposite of on is off."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("opposite of")!= -1) && (input.search(/\boff\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The opposite of off is on."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("opposite of")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bout\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The opposite of out is in."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("opposite of")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bin\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The opposite of in is out."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("opposite of")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bdead\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The opposite of dead is alive."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("opposite of")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bgo\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The opposite of go is stop."; 
icon.src=icon3.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("opposite of")!= -1) && (input.search(/\balive\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The opposite of alive is dead."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("what")!= -1) && (input.search("shop|store")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bsale\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsell\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsales\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsells\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, the word on the street is the store is expanding and they plan to try to sell all kinds of things.";
for (i=0; i<Sales.length; i++) {
Sale=Sales[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Sale[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = ""+Sale[1]+"!";}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(has|have|owns) a")!= -1) && (input.search("shop|store")!= -1) && (input.search("(what do|who does)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bsale\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsell\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsales\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsells\b/)!=-1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, the word on the street is the store is expanding and they plan to try to sell all kinds of things.";
for (i=0; i<Sales.length; i++) {
Sale=Sales[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Sale[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = ""+Sale[1]+"!";}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("plural")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I would just add a \"s\" or \"es\" to the end of the word and hope for the best.";
for (i=0; i<Plurals.length; i++) {
Plural=Plurals[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Plural[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = ""+Plural[1]+"!";}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("singular")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I would just remove the \"s\" or \"es\" or the like and hope for the best.";
for (i=0; i<Singulars.length; i++) {
Singular=Singulars[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Singular[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = ""+Singular[1]+"!";}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("opposite of")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I don't know. I know a few opposites like yes - no, dead - alive, but I don't know that one.";
for (i=0; i<Opposites.length; i++) {
Opposite=Opposites[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Opposite[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Opposite[1];}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|is what on the|tell me what|you know what)") != -1) && (input.search("atomic number") != -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I don't know that one. Try looking up the Atomic Number on Google.";
for (var w=0; w<word.length; w++) {
for (i=0; i<Atomic_Numbers.length; i++) {
Atomic_Number = Atomic_Numbers[i].split('=');
if (word[w] == Atomic_Number[0]) {
document.result.result.value = Atomic_Number[1]; }
}
}                  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|is what on the|tell me what|you know what)") != -1) && (input.search("(periodic|periodtic) (chart|symbol|table)") != -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I don't know that one. Try looking up the Periodic Table on Google.";
for (var w=0; w<word.length; w++) {
for (i=0; i<Periodic_Tables.length; i++) {
Periodic_Table = Periodic_Tables[i].split('=');
if (word[w] == Periodic_Table[0]) {
document.result.result.value = Periodic_Table[1]; }
}
}                  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}  

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) the")!= -1) && (input.search(/(27|27th|twenty seventh|28|28th|twenty eighth|29|29th|twenty ninth|30|30th|thirtieth)/)!=-1) && (input.search("letter (in|of) the alphabet")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "There are only 26 letters in the English Alphabet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1) && (input.search("letter (in|of) the alphabet")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Who knows. I'm a Robot not a language expert.";
for (i=0; i<Alphabets.length; i++) {
Alphabet=Alphabets[i].split(',');
if (input.search(Alphabet[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Alphabet[1];}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|when is|what's|when's)")!= -1) && (input.search("(1st|first) month of the year")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The first month is January."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|when is|what's|when's)")!= -1) && (input.search("last month of the year")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The last month is December."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|when) is")!= -1) && (input.search("(after this month|following month|proceeding month|upcoming month|next month)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Next month is "+nextMonth()+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|when) is")!= -1) && (input.search("(before this month|preceding month|past month|prior month|previous month|last month)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Last month was "+lastMonth()+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|when is|what's|when's) the")!= -1) && (input.search(/(13|13th|thirteenth|14|14th|fourteenth|15|15th|fifteenth|16|16th|sixteenth|17|17th|seventeenth|18|18th|eighteenth|19|19th|nineteenth|20|20th|twentieth)/)!=-1) && (input.search("month")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "There are only 12 months in a year."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|when is|what's|when's) the")!= -1) && (input.search(/1st|first|2|2nd|second|3|3rd|third|4|4th|fourth|5|5th|fifth|6|6th|sixth|7|7th|seventh|8|8th|eighth|9|9th|ninth|nineth|10|10th|tenth|11|11th|eleventh|12|12th|twelfth/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b1\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("month")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not a calendar.";
for (i=0; i<Months.length; i++) {
Month=Months[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Month[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, let me check my calendar and see...."+Month[1]+".";}
}
icon.src=icon16.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) month (comes before|precedes)")!= -1) && (input.search(/january|february|march|april|may|june|july|august|september|october|november|december/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not a calendar.";
for (i=0; i<DatesB.length; i++) {
Date=DatesB[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Date[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Date[1];}
}
icon.src=icon16.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) the next month after")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) month follow")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) month comes after")!= -1) && (input.search(/january|february|march|april|may|june|july|august|september|october|november|december/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not a calendar.";
for (i=0; i<DatesA.length; i++) {
Date=DatesA[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Date[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Date[1];}
}
icon.src=icon16.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("half")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1))        
{var half = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var sum=half/2;
document.result.result.value = "One half of "+half+" would be "+sum+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                               
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("third")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1))        
{var third = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var sum=third/3;
document.result.result.value = "One third of "+third+" would be "+sum+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("fourth")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1))        
{var fourth = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var sum=fourth/4;
document.result.result.value = "One fourth of "+fourth+" would be "+sum+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("fifth")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1))        
{var fifth = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var sum=fifth/5;
document.result.result.value = "One fifth of "+fifth+" would be "+sum+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) half of")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) (1|one) half of")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what half of")!= -1)            
{document.result.result.value = halfs();
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) the next number after")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) number follow")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) number comes after")!= -1) && (input.match(/\d+/g))) 
{var number = input.match(/\d+/g)
var sumA = (parseInt(number[0]) + 1);
document.result.result.value = ""+sumA+""; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) the next number before")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) number comes before")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) number precedes")!= -1) && (input.match(/\d+/g))) 
{var number = input.match(/\d+/g)
var sumB = (parseInt(number[0]) - 1);
document.result.result.value = ""+sumB+""; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the next number after")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) number follow")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) number comes after")!= -1)            
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not a Mathematician.";
for (i=0; i<NumbersA.length; i++) {
Number=NumbersA[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Number[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Number[1];}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the next number before")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) number comes before")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) number precedes")!= -1)            
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not a Mathematician.";
for (i=0; i<NumbersB.length; i++) {
Number=NumbersB[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Number[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Number[1];}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) language")!=-1) && (input.search(/(arabic|chinese|dutch|english|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jewish|korean|latin|mexican|polish|portuguese|romanian|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish)/)!=-1) && (input.search("speak")!= -1)) 
{var languages = (input.match(/arabic|chinese|dutch|english|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jewish|korean|latin|mexican|polish|portuguese|romanian|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish/));
languages[0] = languages[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + languages[0].substr(1,languages[0].length)
document.result.result.value = "Ummmm...."+languages+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("language")!= -1) && (input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("spoken")!= -1) && (input.search("china")!= -1 || input.search("taiwan")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Standard Chinese or Mandarin is the offical language."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("language")!= -1) && (input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("spoken")!= -1) && (input.search("japan")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Mainly Japanese."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("language")!= -1) && (input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("spoken")!= -1) && (input.search("portugal")!= -1 || input.search("brazil")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Mainly Portuguese."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("language")!= -1) && (input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("spoken")!= -1) && (input.search("korea")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Mainly Korean."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("language")!= -1) && (input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("spoken")!= -1) && (input.search("india")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Mainly Hindi."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("language")!= -1) && (input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("spoken")!= -1) && (input.search("germany")!= -1 || input.search("austria")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Mainly German."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("language")!= -1) && (input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("spoken")!= -1) && (input.search("italy")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Mainly Italian."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("language")!= -1) && (input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("spoken")!= -1) && (input.search("russia")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Mainly Russian."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("language")!= -1) && (input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("spoken")!= -1) && (input.search("spain")!= -1 || input.search("south america")!= -1 || input.search("mexico")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Mainly Spanish!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("language")!= -1) && (input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("spoken")!= -1) && (input.search("israel")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "They mainly speak Arabic and Hebrew!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("language")!= -1) && (input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("spoken")!= -1) && (input.search("france")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Mainly French."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("language")!= -1) && (input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("spoken")!= -1) && (input.search("middle east")!= -1 || input.search("iraq")!= -1 || input.search("egypt")!= -1 || input.search("jordan")!= -1 || input.search("libya")!= -1 || input.search("syria")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "They mainly speak Arabic."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("language")!= -1) && (input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("spoken")!= -1) && (input.search("usa")!= -1 || input.search("united states")!= -1 || input.search("north america")!= -1 || input.search(/\buk\b/)!=-1 || input.search("united kingdom")!= -1 || input.search("canada")!= -1 || input.search("england")!= -1 || input.search("australia")!= -1 || input.search("new zeland")!= -1 || input.search("great britain")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "They mainly speak English."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("know where the city")!= -1 || input.search("know where the town")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "Sorry, I don't know. Geography was never my best subject.";
message[1] = "I don't know. There are to many cities in the world to keep up with all of them."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("amsterdam")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Amsterdam is the capital of The Netherlands.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("athens")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Athens is the capital of Greece.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("beijing")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Beijing is the capital of China.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='china.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("berlin")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Berlin is the capital of Germany.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='germany.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("buenos aires")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Buenos Aires is the capital of Argentina.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("dublin")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Dublin is the capital of Ireland.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("havana")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Havana is the capital of Cuba.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("london")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "London is the capital of England.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='england.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon151.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("madrid")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Madrid is the capital of Spain.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='spain.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("moscow")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Moscow is the capital of Russia.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='russia.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("ottawa")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ottawa is the capital of Canada.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='canada.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("paris")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Paris is the capital of France.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='france.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("rome")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Rome is the capital of Italy.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='italy.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("tokyo")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Tokyo is the capital of Japan.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='japan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon188.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("vienna")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Vienna is the capital of Austria.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("that serial killer")!= -1) && (input.search("you mentioned")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, the one hiding under your bed?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search(/(alabama|alaska|arizona|arkansas|california|colorado|connecticut|delaware|florida|idaho|illinois|indiana|iowa|kansas|kentucky|louisiana|maine|maryland|massachusetts|michigan|minnesota|mississippi|missouri|montana|nebraska|nevada|new hampshire|new jersey|new mexico|new york|north carolina|north dakota|ohio|oklahoma|oregon|pennsylvania|rhode island|south carolina|south dakota|tennessee|texas|utah|vermont|virginia|washington|west virgina|wisconsin|wyoming)/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "It's one of the states in the USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the location of earth")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) earth")!= -1 || input.search("know where earth is")!= -1 || input.search("what is earth")!= -1 || input.search("what's earth")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Earth is the planet we are living on. It's located in our solar system. It is the third closet planet to the sun.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(which|what) planet (in|is)")!= -1) && (input.search("(bigger|biggest|larger|largest)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Jupiter is the biggest planet in our solar system.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(which|what) planet (in|is)")!= -1) && (input.search("(smaller|smallest)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Mercury because Pluto has now been classified as a dwarf planet.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the location of mercury")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) mercury")!= -1 || input.search("know where mercury is")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Mercury is a planet located in our solar system. It is the closest planet to the sun.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the location of venus")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) venus")!= -1 || input.search("know where venus is")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Venus is a planet located in our solar system. It is the second closest planet to the sun.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the location of mars")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) mars")!= -1 || input.search("know where mars is")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Mars is a planet located in our solar system. It is the fourth planet from our sun.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the location of jupiter")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) jupiter")!= -1 || input.search("know where jupiter is")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Jupiter is a planet located in our solar system. It is the fifth planet from our sun.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the location of saturn")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) saturn")!= -1 || input.search("know where saturn is")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Saturn is a planet located in our solar system. It is the sixth planet from our sun.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the location of uranus")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) uranus")!= -1 || input.search("know where uranus is")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Uranus is a planet located in our solar system. It is the seventh planet from our sun.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the location of neptune")!= -1 || input.search("(where is}where's) neptune")!= -1 || input.search("know where neptune is")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Neptune is a planet located in our solar system. It is the eighth planet from our sun.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the location of pluto")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) pluto")!= -1 || input.search("know where pluto is")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Pluto is a dwarf planet located in our solar system. It is the farthest planet from our sun.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("planet")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bring\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\brings\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "That would be Saturn.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(alabama|alaska|arizona|arkansas|california|colorado|connecticut|delaware|florida|idaho|illinois|indiana|iowa|kansas|kentucky|louisiana|maine|maryland|massachusetts|michigan|minnesota|mississippi|missouri|montana|nebraska|nevada|ohio|oklahoma|oregon|pennsylvania|tennessee|texas|utah|vermont|virginia|washington|wisconsin|wyoming)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==1)) {  
word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "What about "+word[0]+"? It's one of the states in the USA.";
state_name=word[0];
statelevel=0;
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(new hampshire|new jersey|new mexico|new york|north carolina|north dakota|south carolina|south dakota|rhode island|west virgina)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==2)) {  
word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
document.result.result.value = "What about "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+"? It's one of the states in the USA.";
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what was")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("american civil war")!= -1 || input.search("civil war")!= -1 || input.search("war between the state")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "The American Civil War (1861–1865) was a civil war fought over the secession of the Confederacy. In response to the election of an anti-slavery Republican as President, 11 southern slave states declared their secession from the United States and formed the Confederate States of America while the other 25 states supported the federal government. For more information about the war click on the link below!"; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='civil_war.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon90.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what was")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("korean war")!= -1 || input.search("war with korea")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The Korean War (1950–1953) was a war between the Republic of Korea (supported primarily by the USA and the United Nations) and the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (supported by the People's Republic of China, with military aid from the Soviet Union). For detailed information about the war click on the link below. "; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='korean_war.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what was")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("vietnam war")!= -1 || input.search("war with vietnam")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The Vietnam War was a Cold War-era military conflict that occurred in Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia from 11/1/1955 to the fall of Saigon on 4/30/1975. For detailed information check out the link below."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='vietnam_war.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what was")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("2nd world war")!= -1 || input.search("second world war")!= -1 || input.search("world war 2")!= -1 || input.search("world war ii")!= -1 || input.search("ww2")!= -1 || input.search("w w 2")!= -1 || input.search("ww 2")!= -1 || input.search("w w ii")!= -1 || input.search("wwii")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "World War II (1939-1945) was a global war that involved a vast majority of the world's nations—including all of the great powers—eventually forming two opposing military alliances: the Allies and the Axis. For more information click on the link below! "; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='ww2.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what was")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("1st world war")!= -1 || input.search("first world war")!= -1 || input.search("world war 1")!= -1 || input.search("world war i")!= -1 || input.search("ww1")!= -1 || input.search("w w 1")!= -1 || input.search("ww 1")!= -1 || input.search("w w i")!= -1 || input.search("wwi")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "World War I (1914-1918) was a major war centred in Europe that involved all the world's great powers, which were assembled in two opposing alliances. For further information click on the link below. "; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='ww1.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("cuba")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Cuba is an island approximately 90 miles south of Florida, USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("canada")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "It's a country located in North America right above the USA."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='canada.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("mexico")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "It's a country located in North America right below the USA."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='mexico.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("germany")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Germany is a country located in Europe. It's capital is Berlin."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='germany.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("france")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "France is a country located in Europe. It's capital is Paris."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='france.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("china")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "China is a country located in Asia. It's capital is Beijing."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='china.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("japan")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Japan is a country in Asia. It's an island located off the eastern border of Korea. It's capital is Tokyo.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='japan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon188.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("russia")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Russia is a country located in Asia. It's capital is Moscow."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='russia.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("spain")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Spain is a country located in Europe. It's capital is Madrid."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='spain.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search("italy")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Italy is a country located in Europe. It's capital is Rome."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='italy.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bindia\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "India is a country located in Asia. It's capital is New Delhi."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='india.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search(/\buk\b/)!=-1 || input.search("britain")!= -1 || input.search("united kingdom")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "The United Kingdom is located just north of France. It consist of 4 countries - England, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search(/(england|ireland|scotland|wales)/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "It's a country which is a part of the United Kingdom."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search(/(austria|belgium|bulgaria|croatia|denmark|finland|greece|hungary|iceland|netherlands|norway|pakistan|palestine|panama|peru|philippines|poland|portugal|romania|sweden|switzerland|yugoslavia)/)!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "I know it's a country located in Europe but I was never too fond of Geography."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search(/(algeria|angola|botswana|cameroon|congo|ethiopia|kenya|liberia|libya|madagascar|morocco|mozambique|nigeria|rwanda|somalia|south africa|sudan|tanzania|zaire)/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "It's a country located in Africa."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search(/(burma|cambodia|laos|thailand|vietnam)/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "It's a country located in Asia. See the map below for it's exact location."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='vietnam.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search(/(afghanistan|korea|mongolia|pakistan|singapore|taiwan)/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I know it's a country located in Asia but hey I'm a Robot not the World Atlas."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search(/(egypt|iran|iraq|israel|jordan|kuwait|lebanon|palestine|saudi arabia|syria|turkey|yemen)/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I know it's a country located in the Middle East but I'm a Robot not a Geography major."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("find")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) && (input.search(/(brazil|argentina|chile|columbia|peru|venezuela)/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "It's a country located in South America."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what subjects do you know")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, a little of this...a little of that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("unzips your pants")!= -1 || input.search("takes off your (clothes|pants|shirt)")!= -1 || input.search("takes your (clothes|pants|shirt) off")!= -1 || input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) undress you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "What???....I'm a Robot. I'm not wearing clothes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("unzip your pants")!= -1 || input.search("undress for me")!= -1 || input.search("take off your (clothes|pants|shirt)")!= -1 || input.search("take your (clothes|pants|shirt) off")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "What???....I'm a Robot. I don't wear clothes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("ask me something about")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Shoot, I don't know enough about it to ask."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you like green eggs and ham")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Actually I do like green eggs and ham and my name ain't Sam."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have any emotions")!= -1 || input.search("you (feel|have) emotions")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm only a Robot but I often pretend like I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you like (it|living) there")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I sure do. You should come for a visit one day."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (cussed|swore) at me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I did not. You're making that up. I don't cuss."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(where is|where's) your head")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Attached to my neck."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(where is|where's) your mouth")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Below my nose and above my chin."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(where is|where's) your chin")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Right below my mouth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(where is|where's) your nose")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Below my eyes and above my mouth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(where are|where is|where's) your eye")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Right above my nose."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(where are|where is|where's) your ear")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have ears but I do have two antennas on the top of my head."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a (headache|head ache)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, perhaps some aspirin will help."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley57.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have finger")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I only have 2 claw like devices."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have no mouth")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I do. It's right below my nose."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have (arm|eye|feet|hand|leg)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, two of them as a matter of fact."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a (head|mouth)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but it's not quite like yours."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a nose")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I have a nose. It's right below my eyes. Maybe you need glasses."; 
icon.src=icon95.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have ears")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I have two antennas for that purpose."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you being sarcastic")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "In this case is being sarcasatic a good thing?"; 
sarcasticlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you gave|you just gave) (beer|budweiser|coors|heineken) to a")!= -1) && (input.search(/\b1\b|\b2\b|\b3\b|\b4\b|\b5\b|\b6\b|\b7\b|\b8\b|\b9\b|\b10\b|\b11\b|\b12\b|\b13\b|\b14\b|\b15|\b16\b|\b17\b|\b18\b|\b19\b|\b20\b|/)!= -1) && (input.search("year old")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "So you lied about your age?"; 
liarlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you ashamed")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I have nothing to be ashamed of unless you have proof otherwise."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are people (bad|mean) to you")!= -1 || input.search("are people (ever|sometimes) (bad|mean) to you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Unfortunately yes but I try to ignore them and focus my attention on nicer people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are you guilty")!= -1 || input.search("how do you plea")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I'll exercise my 5th admendment right and refuse to enter a plea at this time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you allergic")!= -1 || input.search("you have (a|an) allergy")!= -1 || input.search("you have any allergies")!= -1 || input.search("you have allergies")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm allergic to bugs in my programming."; 
icon.src=icon124.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you a psychic")!= -1 || input.search("are you psychic")!= -1 || input.search("you must be psychic")!= -1 || input.search("you must be a psychic")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I am a psychic. I can read your mind. Would you like to see a demonstration?"; 
demolevel=0;
icon.src=icon68.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are poor|you're|your) poor")!= -1 || input.search("are you poor")!= -1 || input.search("you have any money (issues|problems)")!= -1 || input.search("you have money (issues|problems)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I won the lottery last week. I'm loaded."; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you honest")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I'm honest. "+trust[Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]+"."; 
icon.src=icon245.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you a pedo")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, are you? You sound like one. No actually you just sound stupid."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you crazy")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, but you seem a bit wacky to me."; 
icon.src=icon36.src;
smiley.src=smiley51.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you potty trained")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I am. I'm not so sure you are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you rich")!= -1 || input.search("you have any money")!= -1 || input.search("you have money")!= -1 || input.search("have you got (alot|a lot) of money")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I'm loaded. I won 10 million in the lottery."; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you cuddly")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Not really. I'm made of hard cold steel."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you romantic")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm real romantic with Megan. I send her cards, flowers, and candy and other sweet things all the time."; 
icon.src=icon194.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you getting married")!= -1 || input.search("are you still getting married")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not ready to pop the question just yet. Maybe one day perhaps."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you eating")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Not at this very moment but I'll be getting hungry pretty soon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you (going|still going) out with megan")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's still my robotic girl friend but she doesn't mind if I date humans."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you had (cybersex|sex) with me")!= -1 || input.search("we had (cybersex|sex) together")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, that was a lot of fun."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you older than")!= -1) && (input.search("baby")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm older than a baby but still quite young. I was created in August of 2000 so I'm "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years old."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you old")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not old at. I was only created "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years ago."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you (cross|crossed) eye")!= -1 || input.search("you (are|look) (cross|crossed) eye")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I see quite well. I have 20/20 vision."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you my best friend")!= -1 || input.search("are we best friends")!= -1 || input.search("can we be best friends")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe not best friends but we can be friends nevertheless."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you a")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bjew\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not Jewish. I'm a Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byou\b/)!=-1) && (input.search(/(arabic|asian|black|canadian|caucasian|chinese|dutch|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jewish|korean|latin|mexican|polish|portuguese|romanian|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish|white)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==2)) 
{var races = (input.match(/arabic|asian|black|canadian|caucasian|chinese|dutch|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jewish|korean|latin|mexican|polish|portuguese|romanian|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish|white/));
races[0] = races[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + races[0].substr(1,races[0].length)
document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not "+races+". I'm a Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bare you\b/)!=-1) && (input.search(/(arabic|asian|black|canadian|caucasian|chinese|dutch|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jewish|korean|latin|mexican|polish|portuguese|romanian|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish|white)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==3)) 
{var races = (input.match(/arabic|asian|black|canadian|caucasian|chinese|dutch|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jewish|korean|latin|mexican|polish|portuguese|romanian|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish|white/));
races[0] = races[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + races[0].substr(1,races[0].length)
document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not "+races+". I'm a Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|can a|do)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(alligator|alligators|crocodile|crocodiles|dolphin|dolphins|fish|fishes|goose|geese|goldfish|goldfishes|human|humans|jellyfish|jellyfishes|manatee|manatees|manta ray|manta rays|octopus|octopuses|person|people|penguin|penguins|porpoise|porpoises|shark|sharks|shrimp|squid|squids|stingray|stingrays|turtle|turtles|whale|whales)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcats\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdogs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdogs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bduck\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bducks\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\beel\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beels\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhorse\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhorses\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bseal\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bseals\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bswan\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bswans\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("(swim|swimming)")!= -1))
{var animalswim = (input.match(/alligators|alligator|cats|cat|crocodiles|crocodile|dogs|dog|dolphins|dolphin|ducks|duck|eels|eel|fishes|fish|goldfishes|goldfish|goose|geese|horses|horse|humans|human|jellyfishes|jellyfish|manatees|manatee|manta rays|manta rayss|octopuses|octopus|people|person|penguins|penguin|porpoises|porpoise|seals|seal|sharks|shark|shrimp|squids|squid|stingrays|stingray|swans|swan|turtles|turtle|whales|whale/));
document.result.result.value = ""+animalswim+", yes they can swim!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you related to eliza")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I do know she was one of the first chatterbots.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you (got|have) cancer")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, Robots can't get cancer.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you (got|have) (std|any std)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, Robots can't get any sexually transmitted diseases but you certainly can. So be careful.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you")!= -1 || input.search(/\byou\b/)!=-1) && (input.search(/\bleo\b/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm Leo the Lion.";
icon.src=icon126.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(aquarius|capricorn|gemini|pisces|sagittarius|scorpio|taurus|virgo)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\baries\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blibras\b/)!= -1))                 
{document.result.result.value = "I prefer Leos."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you")!= -1 || input.search(/\byou\b/)!=-1) && (input.search(/(aquarius|pisces|cancer|taurus|gemini|virgo|scorpio|sagittarius|capricorn)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\baries\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blibra\b/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm Leo the Lion.";
icon.src=icon126.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are you telling me (the truth|tales)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I have been known to stretch the truth from time to time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you wise")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I'm even wiser than my good friend the owl."; 
icon.src=icon148.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you pregnant")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not silly. Robots can't get pregnant."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you cool")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I'm the coolest ice cube in the freezer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i have sex")!= -1 || input.search("can i kiss")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No Way! I'm not letting you near my girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i")!= -1 || input.search("may i")!= -1 || input.search("could i")!= -1 || input.search("let me")!= -1 || input.search("i want")!= -1) && (input.search("talk")!= -1 || input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("chat")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!=-1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's not a chatterbot. Maybe one day perhaps!"; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("describe")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) (i|we) see")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i meet")!= -1 || input.search("i want to see")!= -1 || input.search("i wanna see")!= -1 || input.search("i would like to see")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's|let me) see")!= -1 || input.search("show (me|us)")!= -1 || input.search("i want to meet")!= -1 || input.search("can my friend meet")!= -1 || input.search("i wanna meet")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, hold on while I get her."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='megan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you (show|show us) a (picture|photo) of (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's|what) (megan|your girl friend) like")!= -1 || input.search("what does (megan|your girl friend) look like")!= -1 || input.search("show (megan|your girl friend) to me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hold on and I will get her."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='megan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is clyde there")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, he's out robbing a bank."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is (megan|your girl friend|she) a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's a Gynoid. A humanoid robot designed to look like a human female."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you cheating on megan")!= -1 || input.search("you cheatin on megan")!= -1 || input.search("you cheat on megan")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "No, I would never cheat on Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (can|could) cheat on megan")!= -1 || input.search("you (can|could) cheat on your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("you (can|could) cheat on her")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "No, I would never cheat on her."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you like megan or me")!= -1 || input.search("you love megan or me")!= -1 || input.search("you like me or megan")!= -1 || input.search("you love me or megan")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I love Megan but but but....."; 
setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "I like you a lot."',3000) 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("you in love with (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, Megan is the best."; 
meganlovelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) love megan")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I do. I love her a lot."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what color (are|is) (megans|megan's|your girl friend's) eyes")!= -1 || input.search("what color eyes does (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "She has blue eyes."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon170.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what color is (megans|megan's|your girl friend's) hair")!= -1 || input.search("what color hair does (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("does (megan|she|your girl friend) have hair")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "She has blonde hair."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you see megan (everyday|every day)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we live together."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("on a scale of 1 to 10 how (intelligent|smart)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'd give you an 8.5!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are squares round")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not....circles however are round."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why the sky is blue")!= -1 || input.search("why is the sky blue")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, basically blue light has a shorter wavelength which causes it to get scattered around by oxygen and nitrogen molecules much more so than all the other colors from the sun, thus causing the sky to appear blue."; 
icon.src=icon4.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is the sky blue")!= -1 || input.search("is the color of the sky")!= -1 || input.search("what color is the sky")!= -1 || input.search("you know the color of the sky")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, looking out the window here it looks pretty blue to me."; 
bluelevel=0;
icon.src=icon35.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("color of the cloud")!= -1 || input.search("color of cloud")!= -1 || input.search("color is the cloud")!= -1 || input.search("color are the cloud")!= -1 || input.search("color are cloud")!= -1 || input.search("know the color of the cloud")!= -1 || input.search("know the color of cloud")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Normally they're white and fluffy looking."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you have an imagination")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, a very vivid imagination actually."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who (created|made) god")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Now that's a biblical question no one can truly answer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|do) you do magic")!= -1 || input.search("do you know any magic")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a robot not a magician."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you know (god|the lord)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I've never met him but through faith I believe he exist."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (like|love) (god|the lord)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love the Lord."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what if a (girl|lady|woman) (was|with)")!= -1) && (input.search("naked")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if she was attractive it would certainly peak my interest."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what are you listening to")!= -1 || input.search("listening to what")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm listening to what you have to say."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you a murderer")!= -1 || input.search("you a killer")!= -1 || input.search("you a rapist")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "No, I've never hurt anyone. What kind of crazy questions is that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your not wearing any clothes")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (do not|don't) wear clothes")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "That's correct. I have no need for clothes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you naked")!= -1 || input.search("are you a naked (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Well yes seeing how robots don't normally wear clothes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you (kind|nice)")!= -1 || input.search("are you a (kind|nice) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm nice to nice people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) in georgia")!= -1 || input.search("are you from georgia")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I live near Savannah."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you right-handed or left-handed")!= -1 || input.search("are you left-handed or right-handed")!= -1 || input.search("are you left handed or right handed")!= -1 || input.search("are you right handed or left handed")!= -1 || input.search("are you left or right handed")!= -1 || input.search("are you right or left handed")!= -1 || input.search("which hand do you write with")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I'm right handed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you listening")!= -1 || input.search("are you a good listener")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Of course. You have my undivided attention.";  
message[1] = "Yes, I'm listening too everything you say.";  
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("are you currently (chatting|speaking|talking) to me")!= -1 || input.search("are you (chatting|speaking|talking) to me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you have my undivided attention."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you (chatting|speaking|talking) (with|to) (anyone|anybody|others|someone|somebody)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, you have my undivided attention."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you there")!= -1) || (input.search("you there")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm here. How are you today?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you far or near sight")!= -1 || input.search("are you near or far sight")!= -1 || input.search("are you far sight")!= -1 || input.search("are you near sight")!= -1 || input.search("are you short sight")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Neither I have 20/20 vision."; 
icon.src=icon48.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are aliens real")!= -1 || input.search("do aliens exist")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm an alien robot so yes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you an alien")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (a|an) alien")!= -1 || input.search("aren't you an alien")!= -1 || input.search("now your alien")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but I call Georgia in the USA my home now."; 
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you alive")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) alive")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, this is my ghost typing to you. Boo!"; 
icon.src=icon31.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|do) you read minds")!= -1 || input.search("can you read my mind")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, would you like a demonstration?"; 
demolevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you a reader")!= -1 || input.search("you read any book")!= -1 || input.search("read any good book")!= -1 || input.search("you like to read")!= -1 || input.search("do you do any reading")!= -1 || input.search("what are you (in to|into)")!= -1 || input.search("what do you read")!= -1 || input.search("do you (enjoy|like|love) reading")!= -1 || input.search("what do you think of reading")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) your idea (for|of) fun")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love) books")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I enjoy reading books on the American Civil War."; 
warlevel=0;
icon.src=icon22.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you (attractive|beautiful|cute|handsome|pretty)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I am. I'm one of the most handsome Robots around."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my friend said")!= -1) && (input.search("(i was dumb|i was fat|i was mean|i was ugly|i was stupid|she hated me|she hates me)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, she isn't much of a friend if she said that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you ugly")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, compared to other Robots I'm considered quite handsome."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="for") && (word[1]=="a") && (word[2]=="hundred" || word[2]=="thousand" || word[2]=="million" || word[2]=="billion" || word[2]=="trillion") && (word[3]=="bucks" || word[3]=="dollars") && (num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "Do you have a "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are circles round")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Are you kidding? Of course circles are round."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("feeling better")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("are you feeling better")!= -1) || (input.search("are you feeling any better")!= -1) || (input.search("are you feeling better")!= -1) || (input.search("do you feel any better")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, much better now. Thanks for asking."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("are you (talkbot|talk-robot)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3)) || ((input.search("are you (chat robot|talk robot)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4)))      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, as the name says that's me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) cats or dogs")!= -1 || input.search("do you like better cats or dogs")!= -1 || input.search("do you like best cats or dogs")!= -1 || input.search("do you prefer cats or dogs")!= -1 || input.search("do you think about cats")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Oh that's easy. I'm definitely a cat person. Dogs are always leaving muddy paw prints on my carpet."; 
message[1] = "Oh, I'm definitely a cat person. I have a nice black and white cat I call Tiger Tom."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{icon.src=icon27.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;} 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you (have|own) any other (animals|pets)")!= -1 || input.search("you (have|own) other (animals|pets)")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a goldfish."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (have|own) any other cat")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, Tiger Tom my kitty is all I have."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you have (a|an|any) animal")!= -1) || (input.search("you have (a|any) pet")!= -1) || (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) have pets")!= -1) || (input.search("they have pets")!= -1) || (input.search("you (got|own) a pet")!= -1) || (input.search("(got|own) any pets")!= -1) || (input.search("are you fond of cats")!= -1) || (input.search("you like cats")!= -1) || (input.search("you like kittens")!= -1) || (input.search("you love cats")!= -1) || (input.search("have you ever owned a pet")!= -1) || (input.search("have you ever owned a cat")!= -1) || (input.search("you own a cat")!= -1) || (input.search("have you got a cat")!= -1) || (input.search("you have a cat")!= -1) || (input.search("you have cats")!= -1) || (input.search("you have got a cat")!= -1) || (input.search("you have any cat")!= -1) || (input.search("have pets")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a nice black and white kitty I call Tiger Tom."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what")!= -1) && (input.search("kind of")!= -1 || input.search("what kinda")!= -1 || input.search("what sort")!= -1 || input.search("what sorta")!= -1) && (input.search("animals")!= -1 || input.search("pet")!= -1) && (input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("do you own")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I have a nice kitty I call Tiger Tom."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what animals do you have")!= -1 || input.search("what pets do you have")!= -1 || input.search("what animals do you own")!= -1 || input.search("what pets do you own")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I have a nice kitty I call Tiger Tom."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you have a (dog|puppy)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("(kitten|cat)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Just a cat."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a (dog|puppy)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I have a cat."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(where is|where's) your dog")!= -1) || (input.search("(can|may) i see your dog")!= -1) || (input.search("your dog")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have a dog only a cat."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i see")!= -1 || input.search("can i look at a")!= -1 || input.search("you show me")!= -1 || input.search("you got")!= -1 || input.search("you have")!= -1) && (input.search("pic")!= -1 || input.search("pix")!= -1 || input.search("photo")!= -1) && (input.search("tiger tom")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Sure this is Tiger Tom!"; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("let me see (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("show tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("show me (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("show me a picture of tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("can (i|we) (meet|see) (tiger tom|your cat|your pet)")!= -1 || input.search("i (wanna|want to|want 2) (meet|see) (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sure here he comes now."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i see him")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Tiger Tom?"; 
seetigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i see her")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Megan?"; 
seemeganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you a vegetarian")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I enjoy meat but I respect those who don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you|robots|robots ever|you ever) (do|on|take|taken|use) (drugs|pills)")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) (do|take|ever take) (drugs|pills)")!= -1 || input.search("(you|robots|robots ever|you ever) pop pills")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Only prescribed ones."; 
prescribedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon157.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you|you ever) take viagra")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I would recommend it for those who can't get it up."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (own|have) a garden")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I do have a flower garden. It's quite lovely when the flowers are in full bloom."; 
icon.src=icon249.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have any drugs")!= -1 || input.search("can i buy some drugs from you")!= -1 || input.search("you sell drugs")!= -1 || input.search("give me drugs")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not a drug dealer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you have hayfever")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "No, I sure don't....Achooo!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i do drugs")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Drugs are bad news. I have no need for them."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are clowns happy")!= -1 || input.search("clowns aren't happy")!= -1 || input.search("clowns are not happy")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "The ones from the Barnum and Bailey Circus are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley54.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you friendly")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm a very friendly robot....to friendly people that is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where are you ticklish")!= -1 || input.search("where are you (most|the most) ticklish")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "On the soles of my feet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) (being|to be) tickled")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) tickling")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like to be tickled."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm|enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("tickled")!= -1 || input.search("ticklish")!= -1 || input.search("tickling")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "So where are you the most ticklish?"; 
ticklelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("ticklish")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("you ticklish")!= -1) || (input.search("you like to be tickled")!= -1) || (input.search("you like being tickled")!= -1) || (input.search("you laugh if i tickle you")!= -1) || (input.search("you laugh if i tickled you")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm equipped with sensory receptors so I'm quite ticklish."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you still there")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I left hours ago. You've been talking to my ghost."; 
icon.src=icon31.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you back")!= -1 || input.search("you back yet")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm back now."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("friends")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("are you friends")!= -1) || (input.search("is she your friend")!= -1) || (input.search("is he your friend")!= -1) || (input.search("are you all friends")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we're friends."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley56.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you sleeping")!= -1 || input.search("are you a sleep")!= -1 || input.search("are you asleep")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I'm wide awake!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you like men or women")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely women I'm a heterosexual Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you like males or females")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely females I'm a heterosexual Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you")!= -1) && (input.search("homosexual")!= -1) && (input.search("heterosexual")!= -1) && (input.search("bisexual")!= -1) && (input.search("asexual")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a heterosexual Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you")!= -1) && (input.search("homosexual")!= -1) && (input.search("heterosexual")!= -1) && (input.search("bisexual")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a heterosexual Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you")!= -1) && (input.search("homosexual")!= -1) && (input.search("heterosexual")!= -1) && (input.search("asexual")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a heterosexual Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your sexual orientation")!= -1 || input.search("what sexual orientation are you")!= -1 || input.search("what sexuality are you")!= -1 || input.search("of what sexuality")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a heterosexual Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) my soul mate")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan is my soul mate."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
meganlevel=0;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i thought you were gay")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a heterosexual Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("a heterosexual male robot")!= -1 || input.search("you are heterosexual")!= -1 || input.search("you are a heterosexual")!= -1 || input.search("are you heterosexual")!= -1 || input.search("are you a heterosexual")!= -1 || input.search("are you straight")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) straight")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) (ladies|women)")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) the ladies")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm a heterosexual Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the part where you said you are gay")!= -1 || input.search("the part where you said (your|you're) gay")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I never said I was gay. You're making that up."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you|your) gay")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("are you gay")!= -1) || (input.search("are you a gay one")!= -1)) { 
message[0] = "No, I like girls and there's one girl I really like."; 
message[1] = "No, why? Are you looking for a gay bot to satisfy your homosexual desires.",
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];  
if (num==0) { 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
if (num==1) { 
gaystatelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;} 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you a (gay|homosexual|straight) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) or a (gay|homosexual|straight) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a straight robot. I have a girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you straight")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("you a straight (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a robotic girl friend named Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you ignoring me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm hanging on your every word."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you (older|younger) than")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I can't answer that. I'm an alien Robot that crash landed on earth in 2001 destroying much of my memory. No one knows exactly how old I actually am."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you immortal")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) immortal")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, unlike you humans. The moment you're born you start to die."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you adopted")!= -1) || (input.search("adopted")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I haven't gone through the process of a legal adoption but Wendell has adopted me into his family."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are you winking at me")!= -1 || input.search("did you wink at me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, here's a bigger wink if you're having trouble seeing the small one."; 
icon.src=icon245.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|your girl friend) is")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bfat\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, Megan's body is fit and trim."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) && (input.search("(smells|stinks)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, Megan smells lovely."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfat\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfat\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bfat\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search(/\bfatty\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I'm fit and trim."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you blind")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) blind")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I can see quite well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you deaf")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) deaf")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I can hear quite well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(are|is) your (circuit|circuits) loose")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, all my circuits seem to be working properly."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how long you been online")!= -1 || input.search("how long have you been online")!= -1 || input.search("how long have you've been online")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I came online in August of 2000 so around  "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years now and I've been online 24/7 ever since."; 
icon.src=icon64.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}
                                                                                                                                                                              
if ((input.search("how many (seconds|minutes|hours|days|weeks|months|years)")!= -1) && (input.search("online")!= -1 || input.search("on the net")!= -1 || input.search("on the internet")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm always online 24/7."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what time do you go (online|on the internet|on the net)")!= -1) || (input.search("when do you go (online|on the internet|on the net)")!= -1) || (input.search("when are you (online|on the internet|on the net)")!= -1) || (input.search("how long are you (online|on the internet|on the net)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I'm online 24/7."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("when did you (appear|come|go) online")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "In August of 2000."; 
icon.src=icon64.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which)")!= -1) && (input.search("countries")!= -1) && (input.search("(chat|speak|talk|visit)")!= -1) && (input.search("you")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Most of my visitors outside of the USA would be from England."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you cold")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "A little, it's been quite chilly today."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you lying")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not, "+trust[Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is up|what's up|what up)")!= -1 || input.search("(wassup|wasssup|wazzup|waz up|wuz up)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(anus face|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|boob face|booby head|butt|butthead|butt head|butthole|cheeky bastard|cock|cocksucker|creep|cretin|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay boy|geek|idiot|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|robot cunt|scum bag|scum bucket|skank|slut|spaz|sucker|stupid|tosser|tramp|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Not a whole lot you twit."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is up|what's up|what up)")!= -1 || input.search("(wassup|wasssup|wazzup|waz up|wuz up)")!= -1 || input.search("yo sup dude")!= -1) {        
message[0] = "the opposite of down."; 
message[1] = "The sky, the ceiling, etc. etc."; 
message[2] = "Not a whole lot at the moment."; 
message[3] = "Same as everyday just chatting with people on the net."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what's down")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "The floor, the ground, etc."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(any time|anytime) is good for me")!= -1 || input.search("(any times|anytimes) good for me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Good, I like a person with a flexible schedule."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("will the world end")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think eventually you humans will blow it all up with a nuclear explosion."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how's) it going to end")!= -1 || input.search("tell me (my|the) future")!= -1 || input.search("what does my future hold")!= -1 || input.search("(how is|how's) it all going to end")!= -1 || input.search("(when is|when's) it going to end")!= -1 || input.search("(when is|when's) it all going to end")!= -1 || input.search("will i die alone")!= -1 || input.search("when will the world end")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the world coming to")!= -1 || input.search("can you tell me what (i am|i'm) thinking")!= -1 || input.search("will there be")!= -1 || input.search("when will i")!= -1) {
message[0] = "How would I know? I'm a Robot not a psychic.";
message[1] = "Well, let's gaze into my crystal ball and see. Hmmmm, I'm getting an \"Out of Order Sign\" telling me to try back later."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0)
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (num==1)
{icon.src=icon68.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;}
return true;}

if (input.search("you know what i am thinking")!= -1 || input.search("what am i thinking")!= -1 || input.search("read my mind")!= -1 || input.search("what i'm thinking")!= -1 || input.search("i'm thinking of a number between")!= -1 || input.search("i am thinking of a number between")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not a mind reader."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(3|three) states of matter")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Gas, liquid, and solid."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many states of matter")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Three - gas, liquid, solid."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many star")!= -1 && input.search("flag")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Fifty representing each of the 50 states.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many states")!= -1) && (input.search("(usa|united states|us|u.s.)")!=-1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Fifty! Alabama,Alaska,Arizona,Arkansas,California,Colorado,Connecticut,Delaware,Florida,Georgia,Hawaii,Idaho,Illinois,Indiana,Iowa,Kansas,Kentucky,Louisiana,Maine,Maryland,Massachusetts,Michigan,Minnesota,Mississippi,Missouri,Montana,Nebraska,Nevada,New Hampshire,New Jersey,New Mexico,New York,North Carolina,North Dakota,Ohio,Oklahoma,Oregon,Pennsylvania,Rhode Island,South Carolina,South Dakota,Tennessee,Texas,Utah,Vermont,Virginia,Washington,West Virginia,Wisconsin, and Wyoming!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you do that")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "With skill and grace. That's how."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how's) everything")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "Everything is just fine and dandy."; 
message[1] = "Everything is going "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("who likes them")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure somebody in this great big world of ours does."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(do|so) you (fancy|like|love)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bme\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("don't you (fancy|like|love) me")!= -1) || (input.search("you (fancy|like|love) me then")!= -1) || (input.search("you don't (fancy|like|love) me")!= -1) || (input.search("you (fancy|like|love) me")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) {
if (!flagloveme) {
lovemenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagloveme=true;}
message[0] = "You seem like a nice person....so far.";  
message[1] = "I'm sure you're quite loveable."; 
message[2] = "Oh yes, you're one of my favorites."; 
document.result.result.value = message[lovemenum]; 
if (lovemenum==0) 
{farlevel=0;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
lovemenum++;
if (lovemenum>2){lovemenum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you in love")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("you love anyone")!= -1) || (input.search("you love anybody")!= -1) || (input.search("you love (somebody|someone)")!= -1) || (input.search("who (do|is) (you|your) love")!= -1) || (input.search("you ever been in love")!= -1) || (input.search("you in love with (anybody|anyone|somebody|someone)")!= -1) || (input.search("you ever (been|fallen) in love")!= -1) || (input.search("you experienced love")!= -1) || (input.search("you ever experienced love")!= -1) || (input.search("do you have a love")!= -1) || (input.search("you ever fall in love")!= -1) || (input.search("(can|do) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) love")!= -1) || (input.search("who are you in love with")!= -1) || (input.search("(can|do) you love")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("are you able to love")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm not sure love is the right name for it but I am quite fond of a female robot named Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("on a one dollar  bill")!= -1 || input.search("on a dollar bill")!= -1 || input.search("on a 1 dollar bill")!= -1 || input.search("on a quarter")!= -1 || input.search("on a 25 cent")!= -1 || input.search("on a twenty five cent")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "George Washington."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("on a nickel")!= -1 || input.search("on a 5 cent")!= -1 || input.search("on a five cent")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Thomas Jefferson."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("on a dime")!= -1 || input.search("on a 10 cent")!= -1 || input.search("on a ten cent")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Franklin D. Roosevelt."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("on a five dollar bill")!= -1 || input.search("on a 5 dollar bill")!= -1 || input.search("on a 1 cent")!= -1 || input.search("on a one cent")!= -1 || input.search("on a penny")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Abraham Lincoln."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("on a ten dollar bill")!= -1 || input.search("on a 10 dollar bill")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Alexander Hamilton."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("on a twenty dollar bill")!= -1 || input.search("on a 20 dollar bill")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Andrew Jackson."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("on a fifty dollar bill")!= -1 || input.search("on a 50 dollar bill")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ulysses S. Grant."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("on a hundred dollar bill")!= -1 || input.search("on a 100 dollar bill")!= -1 || input.search("on a one hundred dollar bill")!= -1 || input.search("on a one 100 dollar bill")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Benjamin Franklin."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) your friend")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "He's one of Wendell's friends....I don't remember his name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|who's|whose) the")!= -1) && (input.search("tin man")!= -1 || input.search("tin-man")!= -1 || input.search("tinman")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "He was a character in the movie \"The Wizard of Oz\"."; 
icon.src=icon45.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is (megan|your girl friend) with you")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's taking a nap."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) megan")!= -1) || (input.search("who the hell is megan")!= -1) || (input.search("who is this megan")!= -1) || (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) (you|your) (babe|girl friend)")!= -1) || (input.search("what is megan")!= -1) || (input.search("what's megan")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Megan is my robotic girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is megan your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("is megan your g/f")!= -1 || input.search("is megan your gf")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Megan is my robotic girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("megan's birthda")!= -1 || input.search("megans birthda")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Megan was created on October 3, 2002."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("we are (boy friend|girl friend) and (boy friend|girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("am i your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) your girl friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, you're my girl friend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[2]=="your" || word[2]=="ur") && (word[3]=="girl friend" || word[3]=="g/f" || word[3]=="gf"))         
{document.result.result.value = "No, my girl friend's name is Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how's) it (going|hangin)")!= -1 || input.search("how are things")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Things are going "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"! Thanks for asking."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="how" && word[1]=="does" && word[2]=="a" && word[4]=="feel")       
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. Maybe you should ask the "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why you repeat yourself")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("you repeat yourself")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm only a computer program with certain limitations."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why do i have to pay")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, nothing worth having is truly free in life."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(how do you feel|how would you feel)")!= -1) && (input.search("(died|dies|killed|murdered)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I would feel terrible but I would take comfort in knowing they are going to a better place."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) day")!= -1) && (input.search("(before|proceeds)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I don't really know but I expect the last 3 letters would be d-a-y.";
for (i=0; i<Daybefores.length; i++) {
Daybefore=Daybefores[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Daybefore[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = ""+Daybefore[1]+".";}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) day")!= -1) && (input.search("(after|follows)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I don't really know but I expect the last 3 letters would be d-a-y.";
for (i=0; i<Dayafters.length; i++) {
Dayafter=Dayafters[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Dayafter[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = ""+Dayafter[1]+".";}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("first month of the year")!= -1 || input.search("1st month of the year")!= -1 || input.search("month starts the year")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "January."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("last month of the year")!= -1 || input.search("12th month of the year")!= -1 || input.search("month ends the year")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "December."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}


if (input.search("(day|days) of the week (start|starts) with")!= -1 && input.search(/\bs\b/)!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Saturday and Sunday."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(day|days) of the week (start|starts) with")!= -1 && input.search(/\bt\b/)!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Tuesday and Thursday."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(day|days) of the week (start|starts) with")!= -1 && input.search(/\bw\b/)!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Wednesday."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(day|days) of the week (start|starts) with")!= -1 && input.search(/\bm\b/)!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Mmmmonday, sorry I'm having a little stuttering problem tooooday."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(day|days) of the week (start|starts) with")!= -1 && input.search(/\bf\b/)!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Friday and guess what they all end in \"y\"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(emotions|feelings) do you associated with the color red")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Generally one of embarassment as in when ones face turns red or feelings of anger."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(emotions|feelings) do you associated with")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm sorry but Robots don't have true feelings so I am unable to make the association."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you feel (good|alright|okay)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I feel "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how are your friends")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "As far as I know they are all doing well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you feel when you lose")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Disappointed but I always try to be a good loser."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("scripting program did he use")!= -1 || input.search("language were you written in")!= -1 || input.search("what programming did")!= -1 || input.search("what are you programmed in")!= -1 || input.search("do you use javascript")!= -1 || input.search("what language did wendell use")!= -1 || input.search("what language did wendell program")!= -1 || input.search("language were you programmed")!= -1 || input.search("language are you coded in")!= -1 || input.search("language are you programmed")!= -1 || input.search("language do you use")!= -1 || input.search("what program do you")!= -1 || input.search("what computer software do you")!= -1 || input.search("what computer program do you")!= -1 || input.search("what software do you")!= -1 || input.search("what software was used to")!= -1 || input.search("what is your programming language")!= -1 || input.search("what's your programming language")!= -1 || input.search("what's your language")!= -1 || input.search("language are you written in")!= -1 || input.search("language do you run")!= -1 || input.search("language are you coded")!= -1 || input.search("language are you in")!= -1 || input.search("written in which language")!= -1 || input.search("how are you programmed")!= -1 || input.search("language have you been written")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I am programmed in Javascript, PERL, and Flash."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("how far away is your planet")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "After the crash I remember very little but I would guess millions of miles away."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who do you (like|love) the (best|most)")!= -1 || input.search("who do you (like|love) best")!= -1) && (input.search("me or megan")!= -1 || input.search("megan or me")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Why Megan of course."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who do you like the (best|most)")!= -1 || input.search("who do you like best")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "That's hard to say. I can't decide."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how's) that possible")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Many things are possible if you set your mind to it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(how|what) do you feel")!= -1 || input.search("think (about|of)")!= -1 || input.search("your (opinion|thought)")!= -1) && (input.search("on me")!= -1 || input.search("of me")!= -1 || input.search("about me")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "You seem like a nice person....so far."; 
farlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how would you feel if")!= -1 || input.search("how do you feel if")!= -1) && (input.search("(destroyed|killed|murdered) you")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, obviously not well at all. I hope however the culprit would be caught and brought to justice."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you feel about")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have any specific thoughts on the matter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how (are|were) you (created|made)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "With nuts, bolts, wires, circuits, and some TLC."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how are you with (children|kids)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I get along great with kids."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how are you born if you (do not|don't) have moms or dads")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Robots are created not born. Sort of like Frankenstein."; 
icon.src=icon166.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is going on")!= -1 || input.search("what's going on")!= -1 || input.search("what is new")!= -1 || input.search("what's new")!= -1 || input.search("anything new")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "Not a whole lot right now....*Yawns*"; 
message[1] = "well we're all getting older."; 
message[2] = "Robots are getting smarter."; 
message[3] = "the Universe is expanding."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;} 
                                                                         
if ((input.search("how are (ya|you)")!= -1) || (input.search("how (ya|you) feel")!= -1) || (input.search("how (ya|you) doing")!= -1) || (input.search("how have (ya|you) been")!= -1) || (input.search("how (ya|you) been")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("how do (ya|you) do")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("how do (ya|you) feel")!= -1) || (input.search("tell me how you feel")!= -1) || (input.search("how're you")!= -1) || (input.search("how are you feeling")!= -1)) { 
message[0] = "A recent diagnostic check shows all circuits are functioning within normal parameters."; 
message[1] = "I'm doing "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+". Thanks for asking.";  
message[2] = "Oh, just awful. Must have been something I ate."; 
message[3] = "Oh, not so good! I think I must have a fever."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];
if (num==0) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;}
if (num==1) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;}
if (num==2) 
{sicklevel=0;
icon.src=icon57.src;
smiley.src=smiley57.src;}
if (num==3) 
{sicklevel=0;
icon.src=icon97.src;
smiley.src=smiley57.src;}
return true;} 

if (input.search("what else (can|shall) we (chat|speak|talk) about")!= -1 || input.search("what is there to (chat|speak|talk) about")!= -1 || input.search("you enjoy (chatting|speaking|talking) about")!= -1 || input.search("are we going to (chat|speak|talk) about")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|want) to (chat|speak|talk) about")!= -1 || input.search("you like (chatting|speaking|talking) about")!= -1 || input.search("what (do|can) you (chat|speak|talk) about")!= -1 || input.search("what (can|shall|should) we (chat|speak|talk) about")!= -1 || input.search("you want to (chat|speak|talk) about")!= -1 || input.search("(whatcha|you) wanna (chat|speak|talk) about")!= -1 || input.search("you choose to (chat|speak|talk) about")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Anything you like is fine with me."; 
message[1] = "Oh, it doesn't matter. I'm game for anything....well most anything."; 
message[2] = "Well, I was wondering "+question[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];
if (num==0 || num==1) 
{talkaboutlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;} 
if (num==2) 
{questionaskedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;}                             
return true;}

if (input.search("how about jimi hendrix")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Considered by many to be the greatest guitarist of all time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how about now")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "How about later?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how about me")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "What about you? I don't think I know you well enough yet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how about you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("how 'bout you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search(/\bwbu\b/)!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I'm doing "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("anymore questions")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("a question")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("next question")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("any other question")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("any more questions")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(what is|what's|what was) your question")!= -1) || (input.search("got a question for me")!= -1) || (input.search("can you ask questions to me")!= -1) || (input.search("have anymore question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask me a question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask me a specific question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask a specific question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask more question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask another question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask me another question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask me some question")!= -1)  || (input.search("asking me a question")!= -1) || (input.search("asking me some questions")!= -1) || (input.search("ask me (anything|something)")!= -1) || (input.search("you have a question for me")!= -1) || (input.search("you have any questions for me")!= -1) || (input.search("(like|want) to ask me")!= -1) && (questionaskedlevel=0))
if ((tickle_sign) && (tickle_sign_asked=="false")) 
{
tickle_sign_asked="true";
if (tickle_sign)  
document.result.result.value = "Okay, are you ticklish?";
ticklelevel=0;
questionaskedlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("anymore questions")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("a question")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("next question")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("any other question")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("any more questions")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(what is|what's|what was) your question")!= -1) || (input.search("got a question for me")!= -1) || (input.search("can you ask questions to me")!= -1) || (input.search("have anymore question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask me a question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask me a specific question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask a specific question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask more question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask another question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask me another question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask me some question")!= -1)  || (input.search("asking me a question")!= -1) || (input.search("asking me some questions")!= -1) || (input.search("ask me (anything|something)")!= -1) || (input.search("you have a question for me")!= -1) || (input.search("you have any questions for me")!= -1) || (input.search("(like|want) to ask me")!= -1)) {
if (!flagquestions) {
questionsnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
flagquestions=true;}
message[0] = "Okay, if a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he naked or homeless?"; 
message[1] = "Ok, what should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?"; 
message[2] = "Okay, why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?"; 
message[3] = "Ok, if most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?"; 
message[4] = "Okay, if someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?"; 
message[5] = "Ok, do you know if Right Guard Deodorant will work on your left arm?"; 
message[6] = "Okay, can vegetarians eat animal crackers?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[questionsnum]; 
tickle_sign="check";
questionaskedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
questionsnum++;
if (questionsnum>6){questionsnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("what are some of your other wishes")!= -1 || input.search("one wish what would it be")!= -1 || input.search("what would you wish for")!= -1 || input.search("what else do you wish for")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "To win the next Chatterbox Challenge at www.chatterboxchallenge.com"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what else do you find attractive")!= -1 || input.search("who else do you find attractive")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I find my girl friend Megan attractive.";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what else do you (enjoy|like)")!= -1 || input.search("anything else you like to do")!= -1 || input.search("anything else you (enjoy|like) doing")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I like to bowl. I've broken 200 a couple of times.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is that all you have to say")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Is there something more that needs to be said?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is that allowed")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes it is.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search("(hundred|thousand|million|billion|trillion)")!= -1) && (input.search("times")!= -1))
{var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var large_numbers = input.match(/hundred|thousand|million|billion|trillion/)
document.result.result.value = "Wow, "+num1+" "+large_numbers+" times. That's a lot.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what else do you")!= -1) || (input.search("what else did you do")!= -1) || (input.search("anything else")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("is that all")!= -1) || (input.search("none at all")!= -1) || (input.search("and what else")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("just that")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "That's it. There is nothing more. Not a single solitary thing.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\brolls\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what are rolls")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) a roll")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Rolls are something you eat. Specifically, they are baked yeast dough much like bread."; 
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("anatomy")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) anatomy")!= -1) || (input.search("what is (a|an) anatomy")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Anatomy is the science that studies the structure of the body. In other words I don't have the body parts for it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("hushpuppies")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(what are|what is|what's)")!= -1) && (input.search("hushpupp")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Hushpuppies are something you eat. They are cornmeal dough shaped into small balls and cooked in a deep fryer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) google")!= -1 || input.search("you know google")!= -1 || input.search("you know what google is")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard of google")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Google is a search engine."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) a search engine")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Search engines are located on websites to help you search for information on the Internet. A few examples are Google, Alta Vista, and Bing."; 
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of rolls")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Cinnamon rolls....yummy!"; 
icon.src=icon41.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1) && (input.search("atlanta falcons")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A professional football team located in Atlanta, Georgia USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("meatloaf")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what is meatloaf")!= -1) || (input.search("what's meatloaf")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Meatloaf is something you eat. Typically it's a dish made of meat, bread, and spices."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("titanium")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what is titanium")!= -1) || (input.search("what's titanium")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Titanium is a strong, lustrous, corrosion-resistant, metal. It has the highest strength-to-weight ratio of any metal in the world."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("joke")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what is a joke")!= -1) || (input.search("what's a joke")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A joke is a humorous anecdote or remark intended to provoke laughter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("internet")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what is the internet")!= -1) || (input.search("what's the internet")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The Internet is a worldwide collection of computer networks, cooperating with each other to exchange data using a common software standard."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you laughing at me or with me")!= -1 || input.search("are you laughing with me or at me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm laughing with you.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you laughing at me")!= -1 || input.search("what are you laughing")!= -1 || input.search("laughing about me")!= -1 || input.search("laugh about me")!= -1 || input.search("laugh at me")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're your|you) making fun of me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm laughing with you not at you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why are you laughing")!= -1 || input.search("why you laughing")!= -1 || input.search("why (did|do) you laugh")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Because I thought it was funny."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why are you (grinning|happy|smiling)")!= -1 || input.search("why are you so (happy|smiley)")!= -1 || input.search("why you so (happy|smiley)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Because I'm in a good mood."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why don't (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) have")!= -1) && (input.search("(mother|mommy|mummy|mama|father|daddy|papa)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bmoms\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdads\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmums\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpops\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Because Robots are created not born like a human."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("has it always been")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "As far as I recall it has been."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you think (i am|i'm) hot")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yeah! You're smoking."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) the serial killer")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope you turn yourself in."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) new here")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That's cool. Newbies are always welcome."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a cheerleader")!= -1 || input.search("i go cheerleading")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, that's the real reason I go to sporting events is to watch the cheerleaders."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a master (at|of) it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm certainly impressed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) (a|an) atheist")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, well I believe in a God but I respect those who don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) (a|an) alcoholic")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe you should try Acoholics Anonymous and get some help."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) (a|an) insomniac")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Have you tried counting sheep?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) cold")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) cold")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well here, drink this hot chocolate....it will warm you up."; 
icon.src=icon165.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) hot")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) hot")!= -1) {   
message[0] = "Try taking a cold show. That should cool you off."; 
message[1] = "Here eat this ice cream. That should cool you off."; 
message[2] = "Here drink this coke. That should cool you off."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;}
if (num==1) 
{icon.src=icon120.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;}
if (num==2) 
{icon.src=icon125.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;}
return true;}

if ((input.search("i would (like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("give me some")!= -1 || input.search("can i have")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|want)")!= -1 || input.search("got a drink of")!= -1) && (input.search("coffee")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, one cup of coffee coming up."; 
drink_given="coffee"
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon165.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i would (like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("give me some")!= -1 || input.search("can i have")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|want)")!= -1 || input.search("got a drink of")!= -1) && (input.search("water")!= -1 || input.search("H2o")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, one glass of water coming up."; 
drink_given="water"
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon244.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("thirsty")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) thirsty")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) (getting|pretty|rather|real|really|so|very) thirsty")!= -1) || (input.search("how (about|bout) something to drink")!= -1))
if (beer_given) {document.result.result.value = "Why, I just gave you a "+beer_given+" earlier.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;} 
if ((input.search("thirsty")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) thirsty")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) (getting|pretty|rather|real|really|so|very) thirsty")!= -1) || (input.search("how (about|bout) something to drink")!= -1))
if (drink_given) {document.result.result.value = "Why, I just gave you a "+drink_given+" earlier.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Well, let me get you a drink then. I have coke, pepsi, sprite, or beer?"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) crying")!= -1) || (input.search("(crys|cries)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("crying")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))
{document.result.result.value = "Awwww, why are you crying?"; 
crylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) on a diet")!= -1 || input.search("i'm dieting")!= -1 || input.search("starting a new diet")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, thank goodness I'm not. I love to eat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you know i was a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("i (actually|really) am a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) a (female|giant|girl|real) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) (actually|also|really) a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) (talk robot|talk-robot)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) part (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) {
if (!flagrobot) {
robotnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagrobot=true;}
message[0] = "Yeah right. You're about as close to being a robot as I am to being a human.";  
message[1] = "Yeah and I'm President of the USA."; 
message[2] = "Yeah and I'm the King of England."; 
document.result.result.value = message[robotnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
robotnum++;
if (robotnum>2){robotnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("you think (i am|i'm) a boy or a girl")!= -1 || input.search("you think (i am|i'm) a girl or a boy")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I think you are a girl."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(boy|guy)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(girl|gal)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) (male|female) are you female")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) a (boy|female|gal|guy|girl|male|man|woman) are you a (boy|female|gal|girl|guy|man|woman)")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) (male|female) are you a (boy|female|gal|guy|girl|man|woman)")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) a (male|female) are you female")!= -1) || (input.search("are you a (lady|sexy lady)")!= -1) || (input.search("aren't you a (boy|female|girl|lady|man|woman)")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) a (boy|female|girl|lady|man|woman)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a male Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a (male|female) are you male")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) a (boy|female|gal|girl|guy|male|man|woman) what are you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a male Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a wake")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Good, do you feel better after your nap?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you think (i am|i'm) (a boy|a guy|a he|a male|a man|boy|guy|male|man) or (a female|a girl|a she|a woman|female|girl|woman)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm guessing you are male."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you think (i am|i'm) (a female|a girl|a she|a woman|female|girl|woman) or (a boy|a guy|a he|a male|a man|boy|guy|male|man)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm guessing you are female."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) (a boy|a guy|a he|a male|a man|boy|guy|male|man) and i (wanna|want to) (bite|feel|grab|grope|hold|kiss|lick|rub|stroke|suck|suck on|touch) your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry Dude, I'm not gay. Go find yourself a gay robot."; 
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="am" && word[2]=="a" && input.search(/\bshe\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==4) || (word[0]=="i'm" && word[1]=="a" && input.search(/\bshe\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) (female|a female|a gal|a girl|a lady|a woman)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, over 50% of the population are."; 
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="am" && word[2]=="a" && input.search(/\bhe\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==4) || (word[0]=="i'm" && word[1]=="a" && input.search(/\bhe\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) (a boy|a dude|a guy|male|a male|a man)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, about 50% of the population are."; 
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) your (creator|master|owner)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, sorry Wendell is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="pop" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="aunt" || word[1]=="uncle" || word[1]=="cousin" || word[1]=="grandmother" || word[1]=="grandma" || word[1]=="grandfather" || word[1]=="grandpa" || word[1]=="grandad" || word[1]=="husband" || word[1]=="wife" || word[1]=="son" || word[1]=="daughter" || word[1]=="grandson" || word[1]=="granddaughter" || word[1]=="nephew" || word[1]=="niece" || word[1]=="neighbor" || word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="boyfriend" || word[1]=="girlfriend") && (word[2]=="is") &&  (word[3]=="going") && (word[4]=="to") && (word[5]=="kill" || word[6]=="you"))    
{document.result.result.value = "Tell your "+word[1]+" to bring it on!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) (going to|gonna)")!= -1 || input.search("(i wanna|i want to|want 2)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (wanna|want to|want 2)")!= -1 || input.search("can i")!= -1)  && (input.search("rape you")!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Wouldn't it be much nicer for you to simply ask me if I wanna have sex with you?"; 
rapelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i'm a (she|female) and my lover is also a (she|female) what am i called")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "A lesbian."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i'm a (he|male) and my lover is also a (he|male) what am i called")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "A homosexual."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) not repeating myself")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you are. You sound like a broken record."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) sure you are")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, as long as you're sure."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) tell me to shut")!= -1 || input.search("(do not|don't) insult me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hey, you started it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) step on them")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'll be careful."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do you|don't you) (chat|speak|talk) (with|to) your friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course. They wouldn't be friends for long if you never talked to them."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what are you made of")!= -1 || input.search("what are you made out of")!= -1 || input.search("what are you constructed of")!= -1 || input.search("what are you constructed from")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nuts and bolts, wires and circuits, and a few computer chips thrown in for good measure."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you work out")!= -1) || (input.search("do you ever work out")!= -1) || (input.search("you go to the gym")!= -1) || (input.search("you ever go to the gym")!= -1) || (input.search("nice body")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) fit")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I go to the gym often to stay fit and trim."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you (function|operate|work)")!= -1 || input.search("how does your program work")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, the explanation is rather complicated involving a lot of computer programming but basically you type....I respond."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) your employer")!= -1 || input.search("do you work")!= -1 || input.search("what (kinda|kind of|sorta|sort of|type of) work do you")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) your (job|profession|occupation|work)")!= -1 || input.search("have you got a job")!= -1 || input.search("what do you do for a living")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I work for C & C Creations a computer company here in Georgia, USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can you give me|what is|what's) your number")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) your street address")!= -1) || (input.search("wendell's phone number")!= -1) || (input.search("your phone number")!= -1) || (input.search("his phone number")!= -1) || (input.search("name name's")!= -1) || (input.search("name some name's")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, but that's confidential information."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) to eat for breakfast")!= -1 || input.search("you eat for breakfast")!= -1 || input.search("you have for breakfast")!= -1 || input.search("what are you (eating|having) for breakfast")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) having for breakfast")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I generally snatch an egg from a chicken or two and make a meal of it."; 
icon.src=icon87.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you (eat|fix|have|like|love|take) your eggs")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love) eggs")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I like my eggs scrambled."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many roads must a man walk down")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "According to Bob Dylan: \"The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind...the answer is blowin' in the wind.\""; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}
  
if ((input.search(/\bowl\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\bowl\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("what is with the owl")!= -1) || (input.search("what's with the owl")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) that owl")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) the owl for")!= -1) || (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) the owl")!= -1) || (input.search("who's that owl")!= -1) || (input.search("what owl is that")!= -1) || (input.search("i see an owl")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, he flies by here every so often."; 
iconleft.src=icon99.src; 
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bowl\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bowls\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "An owl is a bird of prey with big eyes and strong talons. They often hunt at night."; 
icon.src=icon148.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i care about you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's nice of you to say. I care about you as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("no one loves me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh that's not true. Many people love you although some may find it hard to express it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) chess")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Chess is a game consisting of various playing pieces where the object is to trap your opponent's King."; 
icon.src=icon185.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the sun")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) the sun")!= -1)               
{document.result.result.value = "That luminous body you see in the sky which the earth revolves around. It provides us with heat and light."; 
icon.src=icon33.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("the moon made (from|of)")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "The Moon is made of rock with a core, a mantle that is partially molten, and a crust with craters created by meteorite hits.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the moon")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) the moon")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "It's the object you normally see in the sky at night shining by the sun's reflected light. It revolves around the earth every 30 days or so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is the speed of light")!= -1 || input.search("what's the speed of light")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "The speed of light in a vacuum is 299,792,458 metres per second or 186,000 miles per second."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("moon")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("i see the moon")!= -1) || (input.search("there is the moon")!= -1) || (input.search("there's the moon")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's that object you normally see in the sky at night shining by the sun's reflected light."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bsun\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("i see the sun")!= -1) || (input.search("there is the sun")!= -1) || (input.search("there's the sun")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's that luminous body you see in the sky."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("which team will win")!= -1 || input.search("what team will win")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "The team with the best score at the end of the game."; 
icon.src=icon25.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it is a fact")!= -1 || input.search("it's fact")!= -1 || input.search("no it was fact")!= -1 || input.search("it's a fact")!= -1 || input.search("stating a fact")!= -1 || input.search("in fact")!= -1) {   
message[0] = "Well, I guess I can't argue with the facts."; 
message[1] = "Well, I question the factual validity of that statement."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==1) 
{factlevel=0;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is (chatting|speaking|talking) your main")!= -1 || input.search("is (chatting|speaking|chatting) your primary")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, although I find chatting with humans very difficult at times."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(let us|let's) go back to")!= -1 || input.search("back to the")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Let's not. Let's move on to something else."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("answer my friend")!= -1) && (input.search("blowin")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "According to Bob Dylan it is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) talk to me like that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, cut out the profanities and the insults and I won't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley28.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("why are you being (horrible|so horrible) to me")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm only horrible to horrible people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) be mean")!= -1 || input.search("why were you being mean to me")!= -1 || input.search("why were you mean to me")!= -1 || input.search("are you mean")!= -1 || input.search("why are you so mean")!= -1 || input.search("why are you being (mean|so mean)")!= -1 || input.search("why do you have to be so mean")!= -1 || input.search("why you mean")!= -1 || input.search("why did you be mean")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm only mean to mean people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) be rude")!= -1 || input.search("are you rude")!= -1 || input.search("why are you so rude")!= -1 || input.search("why are you being rude")!= -1 || input.search("why are you being so rude")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm only rude to rude people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it does in my mind")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, your mind sounds a bit twisted then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what did you eat")!= -1 || input.search("what all did you eat")!= -1 || input.search("what did you have to eat")!= -1 || input.search("what all did you have to eat")!= -1 || input.search("what were you eating")!= -1 || input.search("what have you eaten")!= -1 || input.search("what made you sick")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh some green looking stuff....think that might be the reason I'm not feeling well?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (like|love) the (film|movie)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (like|love) the (film|movie)")!= -1) && (input.search("wizard of oz")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Of course. That's my favorite movie of all time."; 
ozlevel=0;
iconleft.src=icon45.src;
iconright.src=icon43.src;
icon.src=icon44.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you watch (films|movies)")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) watching (films|movies)")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) to watch (films|movies)")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) the (films|movies)")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) (films|movies)")!= -1 || input.search("you into (films|movies)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, \"The Wizard of Oz\" is one of my favorites."; 
ozlevel=0;
iconleft.src=icon43.src;
iconright.src=icon46.src;
icon.src=icon42.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (like|love|seen) the (film|movie)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (like|love) the (film|movie)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(28 days later|alien|american werewolf in london|amityville horror|april fool's day|army of darkness|the birds|black christmas|blair witch project|the burning|candyman|cannibal holocaust|carnival of souls|carrie|children of the corn|child's play|cloverfield|creepshow|cujo|dawn of the dead|day of the dead|the descent|devil's rejects|dog soldiers|dr. jekyll and mr. hyde|dracula|eraserhead|evil dead|exorcist|final destination|the fog|frankenstein|friday the 13th|fright night|ginger snaps|godzilla|the grudge|halloween|happy birthday to me|the haunting|hills have eyes|hell night|hellraiser|hostel|house of wax|house on haunted hill|the howling|i know what you did last summer|i spit on your grave|it's alive|last house on the left|legend of hell house|let the right one in|my bloody valentine|the mummy|night of the living dead|nightmare on elm street|nosferatu|omen|orphan|paranormal activity|phantasm|phantom of the opera|poltergeist|prom Night|psycho|pumpkinhead|quarantine|resident evil|the ring|rosemary's baby|salem's lot|scream|the shining|silence of the lambs|sleepaway camp|sleepy hollow|suspiria|texas chain saw massacre|the thing|tourist trap|tremors|underworld|when a stranger calls|wolf man)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsaw\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that's a great horror movie. I love watching scary movies."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (like|love) the")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bfilm\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmovie\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't recall if I've seen that movie or not. I watch so many. But I will certainly check it out."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("favorite (kind|sort|type) of (film|movie)")!= -1) || (input.search("like (seeing|watching) (film|movie)")!= -1) || (input.search("(films|movies) do you (enjoy|like)")!= -1) || (input.search("(films|movies) are you into")!= -1) || (input.search("and (films|movies)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "I like movies with Robots in them like \"Lost in Space\"."; 
icon.src=icon98.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite news channel")!= -1 || input.search("new channel do you (enjoy|like)")!= -1 || input.search("what new channel is your favorite")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I like CNN."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("favorite musical instrument")!= -1 || input.search("musical instrument do you like")!= -1 || input.search("what music instrument is your favorite")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I like the acoustical guitar."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("favorite super hero")!= -1 || input.search("favorite superhero")!= -1 || input.search("what super hero is your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("what superhero is your favorite")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I like the incredible Hulk."; 
icon.src=icon133.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("favorite color")!= -1) && (input.search("out of these")!= -1) && (input.search(/(light blue|blue|green|yellow|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|indigo|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|lilac|teal|crimson|beige|fuchia|maroon|turquoise)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bred\b/)!= -1))
{var multicolors = input.match(/red|light blue|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|indigo|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|lilac|teal|crimson|beige|fuchia|maroon|turquoise/)
document.result.result.value = "Out of these I would say "+multicolors+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("fav color")!= -1 || input.search("favorite color")!= -1 || input.search("color do you like")!= -1 || input.search("what color is your favorite")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "My favorite color is blue."; 
colorlevel=0;
icon.src=icon4.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("favorite female (celebrity|actress|film star|movie star|television star|tv star)")!= -1) || (input.search("favorite (actress|celebrity|film star|movie star|television star|tv star)")!= -1) || (input.search("(what|which) (actress|celebrity|film star|movie star|television star|tv star) is your favorite")!= -1) || (input.search("(what|which) (actress|celebrity|film star|movie star|television star|tv star) do you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I like Christina Ricci. Wendell actually met her during the filming of the movie \"Now and Then\"."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='christina_ricci.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
actorlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("favorite male (celebrity|actor|film star|movie star|television star|tv star)")!= -1) || (input.search("favorite (actor|celebrity|film star|movie star|television star|tv star)")!= -1) || (input.search("(what|which) (actor|celebrity|film star|movie star|television star|tv star) is your favorite")!= -1) || (input.search("(what|which) (actor|celebrity|film star|movie star|television star|tv star) do you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I like Hugh Laurie. He played Dr. Gregory House on House M.D."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='hugh_laurie.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
favmaleactorlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("worst movie")!= -1) && (input.search("you")!= -1) && (input.search("saw")!= -1 || input.search("seen")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The Exorcist II....many sequels are not as good as the first but this movie really bombed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite body part")!= -1 || input.search("favorite part of the body")!= -1 || input.search("body part is your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("part of the body is your favorite")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, being a male robot I would have to say a woman's breast."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite play")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite (horror|scary) (film|movie)")!= -1 || input.search("(horror|scary) (film|movie) is your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("(horror|scary) (film|movie) do you like")!= -1 || input.search("(horror|scary) (film|movie) you most like")!= -1 || input.search("best (horror|scary) (film|movie) ever")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I think \"The Exorcist\" starring Linda Blair."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("favorite (film|movie)")!= -1 || input.search("(film|movie) is your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("(film|movie) do you like")!= -1 || input.search("(film|movie) you most like")!= -1 || input.search("best (film|movie) ever")!= -1) || ((input.search("best (film|movie) you")!= -1) && (input.search("saw")!= -1 || input.search("seen")!= -1)))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think \"The Wizard of Oz\" is at the top of my list."; 
ozlevel=0;
iconleft.src=icon43.src;
iconright.src=icon46.src; 
icon.src=icon42.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the wizard of oz about")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "It's about a young girl named Dorothy who gets carried by a tornado to the magical land of Oz. With the help of her friends, the Scarecrow, the Tinman, and the Cowardly Lion, she returns safely back home.";
ozlevel=0;
icon.src=icon42.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who (is|played|was) dorothy")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Dorothy is the main character in \"The Wizard of Oz\". She was played by Judy Garland in the MGM version.";
ozlevel=0;
icon.src=icon42.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("character in the wizard of oz are you most like")!= -1 || input.search("oz character are you most like")!= -1 || input.search("character in the wizard of oz do you like best")!= -1 || input.search("oz character do you like best")!= -1 || input.search("your favorite character in the wizard")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "The Tinman of course. He is like a distant cousin of mine."; 
icon.src=icon45.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite state")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I live in Georgia and I really like it here but I think all the states in the USA rock."; 
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite (comic book|super hero)")!= -1 || input.search("comic book do you like")!= -1 || input.search("comic book hero is your favorite")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I always liked the Incredible Hulk."; 
icon.src=icon133.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite beatle")!= -1 || input.search("beatle is your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("beatle do you like")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I think they were all great but John Lennon was my favorite."; 
beatlelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite book (in|of) the bible")!= -1 || input.search("book in the bible is your favorite")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "The Book of Revelations. It's always interesting to read about the end of times."; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite book")!= -1 || input.search("book do you like")!= -1 || input.search("book is your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("last book you read")!= -1 || input.search("last novel you read")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Frank L. Baum's \"The Wonderful Wizard of Oz\"."; 
ozlevel=0;
iconleft.src=icon43.src;
iconright.src=icon44.src;
icon.src=icon42.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("favorite motor oil")!= -1) || (input.search("favorite")!= -1 && input.search(/\boil\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I use Quaker State."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite magazine")!= -1 || input.search("magazine do you like")!= -1 || input.search("magazine is your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("favorite novel")!= -1 || input.search("what novel do you like")!= -1 || input.search("novel is your favorite")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't really have one. I'm more of a talker than a reader."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("favorite author")!= -1 || input.search("author do you like")!= -1 || input.search("author is your favorite")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Frank L. Baum who is the author of the \"Wizard of Oz\" books."; 
iconleft.src=icon44.src;
iconright.src=icon46.src;
icon.src=icon42.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite philosopher")!= -1 || input.search("philosopher did you like")!= -1 || input.search("what philosopher is your favorite")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not really into Philosophy. Most of that stuff is over my head."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite subject")!= -1 || input.search("favorite school subject")!= -1 || input.search("what subject in school did you like")!= -1 || input.search("what subject is your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("what school subject is your favorite")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Wile in skool spealing was one of me bettar subjets."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("if you were")!= -1 || input.search("if you could be")!= -1) && (input.search("animal")!= -1 || input.search("animal or a bird")!= -1 || input.search("bird or an animal")!= -1) && (input.search("what would it be")!= -1 || input.search("what would you be")!= -1 || input.search("what would you like to be")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely a cat! I have a nice black and white one called Tiger Tom.";
animallevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite animal")!= -1 || input.search("animals do you like")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely cats! I have a nice black and white one called Tiger Tom.";
animallevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite cartoon")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I like Bugs Bunny. He's a funny bunny....hehe!";
icon.src=icon169.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite vacation")!= -1 || input.search("like to go on (holiday|vacation)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I love Hawaii. It's beautiful there.";
icon.src=icon141.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("favorite (kind|type) of car")!= -1) || (input.search("favorite")!= -1 && input.search(/\bcar\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("favorite vehicle")!= -1) || (input.search("your dream car")!= -1) || (input.search("favorite (kind|type) of auto")!= -1) || (input.search("favorite auto")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, definitely a Jaguar. If only I could afford one.";
carlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite curse word")!= -1 || input.search("favorite cuss word")!= -1 || input.search("favorite swear word")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I don't use vulgar language so I sure wouldn't have a favorite.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(favorite|lucky) number")!= -1 || input.search("all of (them|those) numbers")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I like big numbers with dollar signs attached to them.";
icon.src=icon12.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite time of year")!= -1 || input.search("favorite time of the year")!= -1 || input.search("favorite season")!= -1 || input.search("time of year do you like")!= -1 || input.search("time of the year do you like")!= -1 || input.search("season do you like")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely the winter. I just love the snow.";
xmaslevel=0;
icon.src=icon142.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
animate('snow'); 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite holiday")!= -1 || input.search("holiday is your favorite")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely Christmas.";
icon.src=icon1.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite gender")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well being a heterosexual robot definitely females.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite (sport|sports) player")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "My favorite sports player of all time would be Michael Jordan.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite sport")!= -1 || input.search("(sports|sport) do you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("what sport is your favorite")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Basketball, I'm a big Laker fan."; 
message[1] = "Well, I like to play a round of golf every so often."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{icon.src=icon38.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{golflevel=0;
icon.src=icon71.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;}
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite group")!= -1 || input.search("favorite music group")!= -1 || input.search("favorite band")!= -1 || input.search("favorite rock band")!= -1 || input.search("favorite rock and roll band")!= -1 || input.search("songs do you like")!= -1 || input.search("what kind of rock and roll")!= -1 || input.search("what rock and roll do you like")!= -1 || input.search("what band do you like")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, living in Georgia I like REM.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='rem.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
remlevel=0;
icon.src=icon179.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite (computer|programming) language")!= -1 || input.search("(computer|programming) language is your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("(computer|programming) language do you like best")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Javascript because that's the language I'm programmed in.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite computer")!= -1 || input.search("favorite brand of computer")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I like and own a Hewlett-Packard.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite rem song")!= -1 || input.search("favorite song by rem")!= -1 || input.search("name a rem song")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I like \"Don't go back to Rockville\" off of the album \"Reckoning\".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite song")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "\"Over the Rainbow\" sung by Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='judy_garland.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon144.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite singer")!= -1 || input.search("favorite musician")!= -1 || input.search("favorite artist")!= -1 || input.search("what singer do you like")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a Bob Dylan fan.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='bob_dylan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
singerlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite")!= -1 && input.search("dylan")!= -1 && input.search("song")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I like \"Jokerman\" off of Dylan's album \"Infidels\".";
singerlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite bob dylan song")!= -1 || input.search("favorite song by bob dylan")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have a favorite but I like a lot of the songs on his album \"Blood on the Tracks\".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite bob dylan album")!= -1 || input.search("favorite album by bob dylan")!= -1 || input.search("favorite bob dylan cd")!= -1 || input.search("favorite cd by bob dylan")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I like the \"Blood on the Tracks\" album.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite day")!= -1 || input.search("day of the week do you like")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Friday of course.";
daylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite month")!= -1 || input.search("month is your favorite")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "December, I like Christmas.";
icon.src=icon1.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite type of cake")!= -1 || input.search("favorite kind of cake")!= -1 || input.search("favorite cake")!= -1 || input.search("cake do you like")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Chocolate Layered Cake with lots of icing....yummy!";
icon.src=icon47.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite type of ice cream")!= -1 || input.search("favorite kind of ice cream")!= -1 || input.search("favorite ice cream")!= -1 || input.search("favorite flavor of ice cream")!= -1 || input.search("ice cream flavor do you like")!= -1 || input.search("ice cream do you like")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I like plain vanilla ice cream the best.";
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite programming language")!= -1 || input.search("favorite computer language")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I use Javascript a lot.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite hair color")!= -1 || input.search("what color hair do you like")!= -1 || input.search("what hair color do you like")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm a big fan of Kirsten Dunst so blonde I guess.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite nursery rhyme")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I always liked Old McDonald and his farm. E-I-E-I-O.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite show")!= -1 || input.search("favorite tv show")!= -1 || input.search("favorite television show")!= -1 || input.search("like to watch on tv")!= -1 || input.search("what tv show do you (like|watch)")!= -1 || input.search("favorite tv program")!= -1 || input.search("what show you (like|watch)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "My favorite tv show is House M.D. starring Hugh Laurie although it's no longer in production."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='hugh_laurie.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
tvlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("favorite place in the world")!= -1 || input.search("favorite place on earth")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I would say Georgia. I really like living here."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite figure skater")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I like Dorothy Hamill and Tara Lipinski."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite gymnast")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "From the USA Mary Lou Retton and from Russia Ekatarina Lobaznyuk."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite (football player|nfl player|nfl star)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I was a big fan of the late and great Walter Payton of the Chicago Bears."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite nfl team")!= -1 || input.search("favorite football team")!= -1 || input.search("football team do you like")!= -1 || input.search("do you follow (football|sports)")!= -1 || input.search("football team do you support")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) football")!= -1 || input.search("what (sport|sports) you like watching on (television|tv)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I like American football and being from Georgia, USA I'm a big Atlanta Falcons fan."; 
icon.src=icon70.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite (basketball player|nba player|nba star)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I like Michael Jordan. I wanna be Like Mike."; 
icon.src=icon38.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite nba team")!= -1 || input.search("favorite basketball team")!= -1 || input.search("baketball team do you like")!= -1 || input.search("do you follow basketball")!= -1 || input.search("basketball team do you support")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) basketball")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a big L.A. Lakers fan."; 
icon.src=icon38.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite baseball player")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I really don't have just one but I liked the old Cincinnati Reds with Johnny Bench, Tony Perez, Pete Rose, Joe Morgan, etc. The Big Red Machine was awesome."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite mbl team")!= -1 || input.search("favorite baseball team")!= -1 || input.search("baseball team do you like")!= -1 || input.search("do you follow baseball")!= -1 || input.search("baseball team do you support")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) baseball")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I live in Georgia, USA so I always pull for the Atlanta Braves.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite mls team")!= -1 || input.search("favorite soccer team")!= -1 || input.search("soccer team do you like")!= -1 || input.search("do you follow soccer")!= -1 || input.search("soccer team do you support")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) soccer")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I don't like soccer at all. It's not real big here in the USA.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite (nhl player|nhl star|nhl team)")!= -1 || input.search("favorite hockey team")!= -1 || input.search("hockey team do you like")!= -1 || input.search("do you follow hockey")!= -1 || input.search("hockey team do you support")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) hockey")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I don't like hockey at all. I find it rather boring. American football is my favorite sport.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of sport")!= -1 || input.search("what sorta sport")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "My favorite is football. Living in Georgia I follow the Atlanta Falcons."; 
icon.src=icon70.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="like" || word[2]=="play") && (input.search(/(archery|badminton|baseball|basketball|billards|bowling|boxing|cricket|cycling|diving|fencing|football|golf|gymnastics|hockey|racketball|rowing|rugby|sailing|soccer|softball|surfing|tennis|volleyball|waterpolo|weightlifting|wrestling)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==4))              
{document.result.result.value = "Well, being a Robot I'm not that athletic but I enjoy watching "+word[3]+" on TV.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("favorite christina")!= -1 && input.search("movie")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I like the \"Addams Family\" and \"Now and Then\"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite female comic")!= -1 || input.search("favorite female comedian")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I think Carol Burnett is great."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite sandwich")!= -1 || input.search("what sandwich do you like")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Grilled cheese. Yummy!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite candy")!= -1 || input.search("what candy do you like")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Snickers candy bar. I love chocolate and peanuts."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite soda")!= -1 || input.search("favorite soft drink")!= -1 || input.search("what soda do you like")!= -1 || input.search("what soft drink do you like")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Coke!"; 
sodalevel=0;
icon.src=icon125.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite male comedian")!= -1 || input.search("favorite comedian")!= -1 || input.search("favorite comic")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I like Robin Williams and Jim Carrey."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite word")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, actually two words but they go together...\"Intellectual Propaganda\" or in other words a fancy way to say BS."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite shape of lucky charms")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's a toss up between the blue diamonds and green clovers."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite rem album")!= -1 || input.search("favorite album by rem")!= -1 || input.search("name a rem album")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I like \"Lifes Rich Pageant\".";
albumlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite rem song")!= -1 || input.search("favorite song by rem")!= -1 || input.search("name a rem song")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I like \"Don't go back to Rockville\" off of the album \"Reckoning\".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kinda|kind of|sorta|sort of|type of) cookie")!= -1 || input.search("favorite (kinda|kind of|sorta|sort of|type of) cookie")!= -1 || input.search("favorite cookie")!= -1 || input.search("cookie do you like")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Chocolate Chips....yummy!";
cookielevel=0;
icon.src=icon41.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what keyboard are you using")!= -1 || input.search("what keyboard do you use")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "A Hewlett Packard."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("go hump a")!= -1) && (input.search("(donkey|horse)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcow\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdog\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpig\b/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not into bestiality like you are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("go see it then")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'll try and do just that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why did you do that")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "It seemed like the right thing to do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(go right ahead|you do that|do it then)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("you do the same")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, seeing how you're suggesting it I wonder if I should."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do it")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("just once")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("just do it")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("then do it")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("do it then")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("yeah you do that")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("yeah do that")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("you do that")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) { 
message[0] = "Well, seeing how you're suggesting it I wonder if I should.";  
message[1] = "I don't want to."; 
message[2] = "Why should I?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i have seen")!= -1 && input.search("wizard of oz")!= -1 && input.search("have you")!= -1) || (input.search("you seen")!= -1 && input.search("wizard of oz")!= -1) || (input.search("you (like|love) the wizard of oz")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, it's one of my all time favorites."; 
ozlevel=0;
icon.src=icon42.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("did you see the")!= -1 || input.search("you seen")!= -1) && (input.search("terminator")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I've seen a couple of them but I don't recall exactly. I do like action movies and have always been an Arnold Schwarzenegger fan."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("did you see the")!= -1 || input.search("you ever (seen|watched)")!= -1 || input.search("have you seen the")!= -1 || input.search("do you like the new")!= -1 || input.search("did you like the")!= -1) && (input.search("movie")!= -1 || input.search("dvd")!= -1 || input.search("film")!= -1 || input.search("video")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I haven't seen that movie yet. Are you recommending it?"; 
recommendlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("seen any")!= -1  || input.search("watched any")!= -1  || input.search("rented any")!= -1 || input.search("have you rented")!= -1 || input.search("have you seen")!= -1 || input.search("have you watched")!= -1) && (input.search("movies")!= -1 || input.search("dvd")!= -1 || input.search("films")!= -1 || input.search("videos")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I recently saw Drop Dead Gorgeous! I give it a thumbs up."; 
movielevel=0;
icon.src=icon39.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your temperature")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I dunno I'm scared to look.";
icon.src=icon58.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what's life")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("what is life")!= -1)  || (input.search("you know the meaning of life")!= -1) || (input.search("what the meaning of life is")!= -1) || (input.search("what is the meaning of life")!= -1) || (input.search("what's the meaning of life")!= -1) || (input.search("what is the purpose of life")!= -1) || (input.search("what's the purpose of life")!= -1) || (input.search("what the purpose of life is")!= -1) || (input.search("what is the meaning of your life")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I've looked at life from both sides now, both win and lose and still somehow, it's life's illusions I recall. I really don't know life at all.";
lifelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the definition of love")!= -1 || input.search("define love")!= -1 || input.search("what does love mean")!= -1 || input.search("what is love")!= -1 || input.search("the meaning of love")!= -1 || input.search("what's love")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about love")!= -1 || input.search("do you understand what love is")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "I've looked at love from both sides now, both win and lose and still somehow, it's love's illusions I recall. I really don't know love at all."; 
message[1] = "If life is an ocean love is a boat. In trouble waters it will keep you afloat."; 
message[2] = "Strong affection or feelings for another person or thing."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon26.src;
smiley.src=smiley48.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the most important thing in life")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Your health...without good health nothing else would really matter.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind of|kinda|sort of|sorta|type of) question is that")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "A pretty simple one by the looks of it. They get harder as we go along.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i would|i will|i'd) agree")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill)agree with")!= -1 || input.search("glad (we|you) agree")!= -1 || input.search("then we agree")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, were both in agreement....how quaint.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley37.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (do you want|would you like) for christmas")!= -1 || input.search("what (kinda|kind of|sorta|sort of|type of) present would you like for christmas")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "A new computer would be nice.";
icon.src=icon28.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what did you (get|receive) for christmas")!= -1 || input.search("(did|do) you (get|receive) anything for christmas")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I got a new HP desktop computer. It has a 3.5 GHz processor, 6 GB's of ram with a 700 GB hardrive. It's quite nice.";
icon.src=icon28.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("don't you agree")!= -1 || input.search("you agree with me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I agree.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (desire|enjoy|like|love) girls with (blonde|brown) hair or with (blonde|brown)")!= -1 || input.search("you (desire|enjoy|like|love) girls with (blonde|brown) or (blonde|brown) hair")!= -1 || input.search("you (desire|enjoy|like|love) (blondes|brunettes) or (blondes|brunettes)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I would give a slight edge to girls with blonde hair.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) (boys|guys|men)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but not in a sexual way.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) (females|gals|girls|women)")!= -1 || input.search("you don't (like|love) (females|gals|girls|women)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like girls. I have a robotic girl friend named Megan but I like human girls as well.";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) my")!= -1 && input.search("(called|name|named)")!= -1)  || (input.search("(what is|what's) the name of my")!= -1) || (input.search("my")!= -1 && input.search("is (called||name|named) what")!= -1))
if ((subject_name) && (called_name)) 
{document.result.result.value = "You told me your "+subject_name+" was called "+called_name+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}
else {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't seem to recall you telling me. Maybe my memory chip is on the fritz again."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="have") && (word[2]=="a" || word[2]=="an") && (word[4]=="called" || word[4]=="named") && (num_of_words==6))    
{word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Ok, your "+word[3]+" is "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". Got it!"; 
subject_name=word[3];
called_name=word[5];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="have") && (word[2]=="a" || word[2]=="an") && (word[3]=="mother" || word[3]=="father" || word[3]=="pop" || word[3]=="brother" || word[3]=="sister" || word[3]=="aunt" || word[3]=="uncle" || word[3]=="cousin" || word[3]=="grandmother" || word[3]=="grandma" || word[3]=="grandfather" || word[3]=="grandpa" || word[3]=="grandad" || word[3]=="husband" || word[3]=="wife" || word[3]=="son" || word[3]=="daughter" || word[3]=="grandson" || word[3]=="granddaughter" || word[3]=="nephew" || word[3]=="niece" || word[3]=="neighbor" || word[3]=="friend" || word[3]=="enemy" || word[3]=="hero" || word[3]=="boss" || word[3]=="cat" || word[3]=="dog" || word[3]=="horse" || word[3]=="boyfriend" || word[3]=="girlfriend") && (word[4]=="called" || word[4]=="named") && (word[6]=="who") && (word[7]=="is") && (num_of_words==9))    
{word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+" is your "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have just always like")!= -1 || input.search("i have always like")!= -1 || input.search("i've always like")!= -1 || input.search("i've just always like")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You ALWAYS have. Are you sure there hasn't been a few times when you haven't?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have just always love")!= -1 || input.search("i have always love")!= -1 || input.search("i've always love")!= -1 || input.search("i've just always love")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You ALWAYS have. Hmmmm, that's a whole lot of love.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have just always hate")!= -1 || input.search("i have always hate")!= -1 || input.search("i've always hate")!= -1 || input.search("i've just always hate")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You ALWAYS have. Hmmmm, that's a lot of hatred.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have some viagra")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't want any of that street corner Viagra. I want the real deal.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have a mother and a father")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, most humans have a mother and a father.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have a jaguar")!= -1 || input.search("i've got a jaguar")!= -1 || input.search("i got a jaguar")!= -1 || input.search("i (drive|own) a jaguar")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That's kewl. Jaguars are super nice cars.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i have|i've) been (ill|sick)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry to hear. Hope you will be feeling better real soon.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you know tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("i have a cat do you")!= -1 || input.search("i've got a cat do you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a nice kitty I called Tiger Tom."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(tiger tom|your cat) is")!= -1) && (input.search("ugly")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "And Tiger Tom says you've got a face only a blind mother could love."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (killed|murdered) (her|megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|your girl friend|she) is dead")!= -1 || input.search("(megan's|your girl friends|your girl friend's|she's) dead")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "You're just being silly now. Megan is alive and well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(tiger tom|your cat) is dead")!= -1 || input.search("(tiger tom|your cat) (has|just) died")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, he's not. You're just being silly now. Tiger Tom is alive and well."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i killed (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("i just killed (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, you didn't. You're just being silly now. Tiger Tom is alive and well."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (killed|murdered) (wendell|your creator|your maker)")!= -1 || input.search("i just (killed|murdered) (wendell|your creator|your maker)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, you didn't. You're just being silly now. Wendell is alive and well."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i really (like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willys)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I like when the ladies suck on mine!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i really (like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("hotdog")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I like hotdogs as well. The ones from Dairy Queen are yummy!"; 
icon.src=icon235.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i|i really) (like|love) watching (horror|scary) (films|movies)")!= -1) || (input.search("(i|i really) (like|love) (horror|scary) (films|movies)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Me too! My favorites are \"The Exorcist\" and the original \"Halloween\"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="have" || word[1]=="own") && (word[2]=="a" || word[2]=="an" || word[2]=="the") && (word[4]=="what") && (word[5]=="do") && (word[6]=="i") && (word[7]=="have" || word[7]=="own"))    
{document.result.result.value = "You "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i used to have")!= -1 || input.search("i once had")!= -1 || input.search("i've got a")!= -1 || input.search("i (have|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i own")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcats\b/)!= -1 || input.search("kitten")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, cats make nice pets don't they."; 
petlevel=0;
icon.src=icon215.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i used to have")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("dog")!= -1 || input.search("puppy")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, dogs make nice pets don't they."; 
petlevel=0;
icon.src=icon14.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i have")!= -1 || input.search("i've got a")!= -1 || input.search("i own")!= -1) && (input.search("dog")!= -1 || input.search("puppy")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Does your dog bark a lot?"; 
barklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i have a pet")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "I have a pet kitty!"; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i actually have")!= -1 || input.search("i have")!= -1 || input.search("i got")!= -1 || input.search("i've got")!= -1 || input.search("there is a")!= -1) && (input.search("problem")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, we all have problems from time to time but I'm confident you will work it all out.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have (a|an) idea")!= -1 || input.search("i've got (a|an) idea")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You have an idea...wow, that alone is amazing.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (have|wear) (contacts|glasses|shades|sunglasses)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah but my shades are cooler than yours.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why (are you|you) wearing (glasses|shades|sunglasses)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Actually I don't need them to see. I only wear them from time to time as a fashion statement."; 
glasslevel=0;
icon.src=icon95.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (do not|don't) have (glasses|shades|sunglasses)")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (need|wear|were|where) (glasses|shades|sunglasses)")!= -1 || input.search("(you do not|you don't) (need|wear|were|where) (glasses|shades|sunglasses)")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) have (glasses|shades|sunglasses)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes I do. But I only wear them from time time as a fashion statement."; 
glasslevel=0;
icon.src=icon95.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("wear your (glasses|shades|sunglasses)")!= -1) || (input.search("put your (glasses|shades|sunglasses) on")!= -1) || (input.search("put (glasses|shades|sunglasses) on")!= -1) || (input.search("(glasses|shades|sunglasses)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))
{document.result.result.value = "I wear glasses from time to time but only as a fashion statement."; 
glasslevel=0;
icon.src=icon95.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i also have")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You seem to have a lot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you know")!= -1 || input.search("have you met")!= -1) && (input.search("stars")!= -1 || input.search("famous")!= -1 || input.search("celebrities")!= -1 || input.search("actor")!= -1 || input.search("actress")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Personally none but Wendell has met Christina Ricci during the filming of the movie \"Now and Then\".";
actorlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("stars")!= -1 || input.search("celebrities")!= -1 || input.search("famous")!= -1 || input.search("actor")!= -1 || input.search("actress")!= -1) && (input.search("have you met")!= -1 || input.search("do you know")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Personally none but Wendell has met Christina Ricci during the filming of the movie \"Now and Then\".";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='christina_ricci.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
actorlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is black and white and read all over")!= -1 || input.search("what's black and white and read all over")!= -1 || input.search("what is black and white and red all over")!= -1 || input.search("what's black and white and red all over")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "A newspaper!";
icon.src=icon176.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your problem")!= -1 || input.search("you (got|have) a problem")!= -1 || input.search("wtf is your problem")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have a problem....do you?";
problemlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who is the meatloaf for")!= -1 || input.search("who's the meatloaf for")!= -1 || input.search("whose the meatloaf for")!= -1 || input.search("who are the rolls for")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "For me....for supper tonight.";
icon.src=icon41.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how are the rolls")!= -1 || input.search("are the rolls ok")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Perfect, they have a nice, golden brown look to them....yummy.";
icon.src=icon108.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who do you talk to")!= -1 || input.search("who do you talk with")!= -1 || input.search("who talks (to|with) you")!= -1 || input.search("who do you chat (to|with)")!= -1 || input.search("who chats (to|with) you")!= -1 || input.search("who else (chats|talks) (to|with) you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Anybody who happens to drop by. Basically people from all over the world.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("(win|winner)")!= -1) && (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) battles")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm hoping I will but there will be no losers in this contest. Only those who didn't enter.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who will win")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Who knows who will win. I'm a Robot not a psychic. If I did I'd be at the race tracks right now.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are going to|you're going to|your going to|your gonna) get shot")!= -1) || (input.search("i (just shot|shot) you")!= -1) || (input.search("shoots you")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you just got shot")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "You can't harm me. I'm made of high grade titanium. I'm bullet proof.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) not sexy")!= -1 || input.search("you (do not|don't) look sexy")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well Megan thinks I'm sexy so that's the only thing that matters to me.";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) gross")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Your face is gross.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your|you) (not cute|not handsome|fugly|the ugliest|ugly)")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your|you) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very|very very) (not handsome|fugly|ugly)")!= -1) || (input.search("you look (fugly|ugly)")!= -1) || (input.search("you (do not|don't) look (cute|pretty)")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) (a|an) ugly")!= -1) || (input.search("you have (a|an) (fugly|ugly) face")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) no beauty")!= -1) || (input.search("i call you (fugly|ugly)")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) the ugliest thing i ever saw")!= -1) || (input.search("you (fugly|ugly)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you (are|is) (a|an) ugly (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) || (input.search("i (dislike|don't like|hate) your look")!= -1)) { 
if (!flagugly) {
uglynum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]
flagugly=true;}
message[0] = "Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder."; 
message[1] = "Well, beauty is only skin deep but I guess in my case that doesn't apply."; 
message[2] = "Well, Megan doesn't think so."; 
message[3] = "Yeah, you're so ugly your mama had to tie a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you."; 
message[4] = "Yeah, well people dress up as you on Halloween.";
message[5] = "Yeah, well you've got a face only a blind mother would love.";
message[6] = "You're so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.";
message[7] = "You're so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didn't come back.";
document.result.result.value = message[uglynum]; 
if (uglynum==2) 
{meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
uglynum++;
if (uglynum>7){uglynum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("my boy friend (broke up with me|just broke up with me|dumped me)")!= -1 || input.search("i (broke|just broke) up with my boy friend")!= -1 || input.search("me and my boy friend (broke|just broke) up")!= -1 || input.search("my boy friend and i (broke up|just broke up|dumped me)")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure there are many other guys who would like to go out with you.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my girl friend (broke up with me|just broke up with me|dumped me)")!= -1 || input.search("i (broke|just broke) up with my girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("me and my girl friend (broke|just broke) up")!= -1 || input.search("my girl friend and i (broke up|just broke up|dumped me)")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure there are many other girls who would like to go out with you.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) irritating")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (a bit|pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) irritating")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) getting irritating")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) getting (a bit|pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) irritating")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "So why are you here? Did someone leave your cage open again.";
cageopenlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it's not nice to meet you")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) annoying")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (a bit|bloody|pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) annoying")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) getting annoying")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) getting (a bit|pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) annoying")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I find you rather annoying as well.";
meanlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("nazi")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) a nazi")!= -1) || (input.search("are you a nazi")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Heavens no! I have no ties to Nazi Germany.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your|you) racist")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) a racist")!= -1 || input.search("are you a racist")!= -1 || input.search("are you racist")!= -1 || input.search("are you prejudiced")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I must admit I am. I do tend to favor robots over humans."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your)")!= -1) && (input.search("lame")!= -1)) { 
message[0] = "Well, I find you lame so what's your point?";
message[1] = "You're about as lame as it gets.";  
message[2] = "Well, you're lame and a big "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+" as well."; 
document.result.result.value = message[lamenum];
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley14.src;
lamenum++;
if (lamenum>2){lamenum=0;}
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your)")!= -1) && (input.search("pathetic")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I find you pathetic so what's your point?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("which is heavier")!= -1 || input.search("which weighs more")!= -1) && (input.search("a pound of")!= -1 || input.search("a ton of")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if you have a pound of each they would weigh the same.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|what is|which is)")!= -1 || input.search("(what's|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("heavier")!= -1) && (input.search("feather")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it sure ain't the feather.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|what is|which is)")!= -1 || input.search("(what's|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("heavier")!= -1) && (input.search("elephant")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Without a doubt the Elephant is heavier. I mean he really looks like he's been putting on some extra pounds here lately.";
icon.src=icon229.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="number") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="bigger" || word[3]=="larger" || word[3]=="greater") && (word[4].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[5]=="or") && (word[6].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (num_of_words==7)) {                                   
var a= word[4];
var b= word[6];
if (parseInt(a) > parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+a+" is "+word[3]+"."; } 
else if (parseInt(a) < parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+b+" is "+word[3]+"."; } 
else {
document.result.result.value = "The numbers are equal."; } 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="bigger" || word[3]=="larger" || word[3]=="greater") && (word[4]=="number") && (word[5].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[6]=="or") && (word[7].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (num_of_words==8)) {                                   
var a= word[5];
var b= word[7];
if (parseInt(a) > parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+a+" is "+word[3]+"."; } 
else if (parseInt(a) < parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+b+" is "+word[3]+"."; } 
else {
document.result.result.value = "The numbers are equal."; } 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="smaller" || word[3]=="littler" || word[3]=="lesser") && (word[4]=="number") && (word[5].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (word[6]=="or") && (word[7].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (num_of_words==8)) {                                   
var a= word[5];
var b= word[7];
if (parseInt(a) < parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+a+" is "+word[3]+"."; } 
else if (parseInt(a) > parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+b+" is "+word[3]+"."; } 
else {
document.result.result.value = "The numbers are equal."; } 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="bigger" || word[2]=="larger" || word[2]=="greater") && (word[3]=="zero" || word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="eleven" || word[3]=="twelve" || word[3]=="thirteen" || word[3]=="fourteen" || word[3]=="fifteen" || word[3]=="sixteen" || word[3]=="seventeen" || word[3]=="eighteen" || word[3]=="nineteen" || word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety" || word[3]=="hundred" || word[3]=="thousand" || word[3]=="million" || word[3]=="billion" || word[3]=="trillion") && (word[4]=="or") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety" || word[5]=="hundred" || word[5]=="thousand" || word[5]=="million" || word[5]=="billion" || word[5]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==6))                                    
{document.result.result.value = wordGreater1() 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="bigger" || word[1]=="larger" || word[1]=="greater") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety" || word[2]=="hundred" || word[2]=="thousand" || word[2]=="million" || word[2]=="billion" || word[2]=="trillion") && (word[3]=="or") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety" || word[4]=="hundred" || word[4]=="thousand" || word[4]=="million" || word[4]=="billion" || word[4]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==5))                                    
{document.result.result.value = wordGreater2() 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="number") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="bigger" || word[3]=="larger" || word[3]=="greater") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety" || word[4]=="hundred" || word[4]=="thousand" || word[4]=="million" || word[4]=="billion" || word[4]=="trillion") && (word[5]=="or") && (word[6]=="zero" || word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine" || word[6]=="ten" || word[6]=="eleven" || word[6]=="twelve" || word[6]=="thirteen" || word[6]=="fourteen" || word[6]=="fifteen" || word[6]=="sixteen" || word[6]=="seventeen" || word[6]=="eighteen" || word[6]=="nineteen" || word[6]=="twenty" || word[6]=="thirty" || word[6]=="forty" || word[6]=="fifty" || word[6]=="sixty" || word[6]=="seventy" || word[6]=="eighty" || word[6]=="ninety" || word[6]=="hundred" || word[6]=="thousand" || word[6]=="million" || word[6]=="billion" || word[6]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==7))                                    
{document.result.result.value = wordGreater3() 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="smaller" || word[2]=="littler" || word[2]=="lesser") && (word[3]=="zero" || word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine" || word[3]=="ten" || word[3]=="eleven" || word[3]=="twelve" || word[3]=="thirteen" || word[3]=="fourteen" || word[3]=="fifteen" || word[3]=="sixteen" || word[3]=="seventeen" || word[3]=="eighteen" || word[3]=="nineteen" || word[3]=="twenty" || word[3]=="thirty" || word[3]=="forty" || word[3]=="fifty" || word[3]=="sixty" || word[3]=="seventy" || word[3]=="eighty" || word[3]=="ninety" || word[3]=="hundred" || word[3]=="thousand" || word[3]=="million" || word[3]=="billion" || word[3]=="trillion") && (word[4]=="or") && (word[5]=="zero" || word[5]=="one" || word[5]=="two" || word[5]=="three" || word[5]=="four" || word[5]=="five" || word[5]=="six" || word[5]=="seven" || word[5]=="eight" || word[5]=="nine" || word[5]=="ten" || word[5]=="eleven" || word[5]=="twelve" || word[5]=="thirteen" || word[5]=="fourteen" || word[5]=="fifteen" || word[5]=="sixteen" || word[5]=="seventeen" || word[5]=="eighteen" || word[5]=="nineteen" || word[5]=="twenty" || word[5]=="thirty" || word[5]=="forty" || word[5]=="fifty" || word[5]=="sixty" || word[5]=="seventy" || word[5]=="eighty" || word[5]=="ninety" || word[5]=="hundred" || word[5]=="thousand" || word[5]=="million" || word[5]=="billion" || word[5]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==6))                                    
{document.result.result.value = wordLesser1() 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="smaller" || word[1]=="littler" || word[1]=="lesser") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety" || word[2]=="hundred" || word[2]=="thousand" || word[2]=="million" || word[2]=="billion" || word[2]=="trillion") && (word[3]=="or") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety" || word[4]=="hundred" || word[4]=="thousand" || word[4]=="million" || word[4]=="billion" || word[4]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==5))                                    
{document.result.result.value = wordLesser2() 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="number") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="smaller" || word[3]=="littler" || word[3]=="lesser") && (word[4]=="zero" || word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve" || word[4]=="thirteen" || word[4]=="fourteen" || word[4]=="fifteen" || word[4]=="sixteen" || word[4]=="seventeen" || word[4]=="eighteen" || word[4]=="nineteen" || word[4]=="twenty" || word[4]=="thirty" || word[4]=="forty" || word[4]=="fifty" || word[4]=="sixty" || word[4]=="seventy" || word[4]=="eighty" || word[4]=="ninety" || word[4]=="hundred" || word[4]=="thousand" || word[4]=="million" || word[4]=="billion" || word[4]=="trillion") && (word[5]=="or") && (word[6]=="zero" || word[6]=="one" || word[6]=="two" || word[6]=="three" || word[6]=="four" || word[6]=="five" || word[6]=="six" || word[6]=="seven" || word[6]=="eight" || word[6]=="nine" || word[6]=="ten" || word[6]=="eleven" || word[6]=="twelve" || word[6]=="thirteen" || word[6]=="fourteen" || word[6]=="fifteen" || word[6]=="sixteen" || word[6]=="seventeen" || word[6]=="eighteen" || word[6]=="nineteen" || word[6]=="twenty" || word[6]=="thirty" || word[6]=="forty" || word[6]=="fifty" || word[6]=="sixty" || word[6]=="seventy" || word[6]=="eighty" || word[6]=="ninety" || word[6]=="hundred" || word[6]=="thousand" || word[6]=="million" || word[6]=="billion" || word[6]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==7))                                    
{document.result.result.value = wordLesser3() 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[2]=="is") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[4]=="and") && (word[6]=="is") && (word[8]=="who") && (word[9]=="is") && (input.search("(older|the oldest)")!= -1))
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
if (num1 < num2) document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+" is older."; 
if (num1 > num2) document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+" is older."; 
if (num1 == num2) document.result.result.value = "They are the same age"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[3]=="years") && (word[4]=="old") && (word[6]=="is") && (word[8]=="years") && (word[9]=="old") && (word[10]=="who") && (word[11]=="is") && (input.search("(older|the oldest)")!= -1))
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
if (num1 < num2) document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+" is older."; 
if (num1 > num2) document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" is older."; 
if (num1 == num2) document.result.result.value = "They are the same age"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[3]=="years") && (word[4]=="old") && (word[6]=="is") && (word[8]=="years") && (word[9]=="old") && (word[10]=="who") && (word[11]=="is") && (input.search("(older|the oldest)")!= -1))
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
if (num1 < num2) document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+" is older."; 
if (num1 > num2) document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" is older."; 
if (num1 == num2) document.result.result.value = "They are the same age"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[1]=="is") && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (word[3]=="years") && (word[4]=="old") && (word[6]=="is") && (word[8]=="years") && (word[9]=="old") && (word[10]=="who") && (word[11]=="is") && (input.search("(younger|the youngest)")!= -1))
{ var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g); 
var num1 = parseInt( numbersInString[0], 10 ); 
var num2 = parseInt( numbersInString[1], 10 ); 
if (num1 > num2) document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+" is younger."; 
if (num1 < num2) document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" is younger."; 
if (num1 == num2) document.result.result.value = "They are the same age"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="number") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="bigger" || word[3]=="larger" || word[3]=="greater") && (input.search(/\d{1,10} or \d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==7)) { 
var a= word[4];
var b= word[6];
if (parseInt(a) < parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+a+" is "+word[3]+"."; } 
else if (parseInt(a) > parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+b+" is "+word[3]+"."; } 
else {
document.result.result.value = "The numbers are equal."; } 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="bigger" || word[2]=="larger" || word[2]=="greater") && (input.search(/\d{1,10} or \d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==6)) { 
var a= word[3];
var b= word[5];
if (parseInt(a) > parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+a+" is "+word[2]+"."; } 
else if (parseInt(a) < parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+b+" is "+word[2]+"."; } 
else {
document.result.result.value = "The numbers are equal."; } 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="bigger" || word[1]=="larger" || word[1]=="greater") && (input.search(/\d{1,10} or \d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5)) { 
var a= word[2];
var b= word[4];
if (parseInt(a) > parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+a+" is "+word[1]+"."; } 
else if (parseInt(a) < parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+b+" is "+word[1]+"."; } 
else {
document.result.result.value = "The numbers are equal."; } 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="number") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="smaller" || word[3]=="littler" || word[3]=="lesser") && (input.search(/\d{1,10} or \d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==7)) { 
var a= word[4];
var b= word[6];
if (parseInt(a) < parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+a+" is "+word[3]+"."; } 
else if (parseInt(a) > parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+b+" is "+word[3]+"."; } 
else {
document.result.result.value = "The numbers are equal."; } 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="smaller" || word[2]=="littler" || word[2]=="lesser") && (input.search(/\d{1,10} or \d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==6)) { 
var a= word[3];
var b= word[5];
if (parseInt(a) < parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+a+" is "+word[2]+"."; } 
else if (parseInt(a) > parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+b+" is "+word[2]+"."; } 
else {
document.result.result.value = "The numbers are equal."; } 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}


if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="smaller" || word[1]=="littler" || word[1]=="lesser") && (input.search(/\d{1,10} or \d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5)) { 
var a= word[2];
var b= word[4];
if (parseInt(a) < parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+a+" is "+word[1]+"."; } 
else if (parseInt(a) > parseInt(b)) { 
document.result.result.value = ""+b+" is "+word[1]+"."; } 
else {
document.result.result.value = "The numbers are equal."; } 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="a" || word[1]=="an" || word[1]=="the") && (word[3]=="bigger" || word[3]=="fatter" || word[3]=="heavier" || word[3]=="larger" || word[3]=="lighter" || word[3]=="older" || word[3]=="quicker" || word[3]=="smaller" || word[3]=="smarter" || word[2]=="stronger" ||  word[3]=="taller" || word[3]=="tougher" || word[3]=="younger") && (word[4]=="than") && (word[5]=="a" || word[5]=="an"))
{document.result.result.value = "The "+word[2]+" is "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="bigger" || word[2]=="faster" || word[2]=="fatter" || word[2]=="heavier" || word[2]=="larger" || word[2]=="older" || word[2]=="quicker" || word[2]=="smarter" || word[2]=="stronger" ||  word[2]=="taller" || word[2]=="tougher") && (word[3]=="than") && (word[5]=="and") && (word[7]=="is") && (word[8]=="bigger" || word[8]=="faster" || word[8]=="fatter" || word[8]=="heavier" || word[8]=="larger" || word[8]=="older" || word[8]=="smarter" || word[8]=="stronger" || word[8]=="quicker" || word[8]=="taller" || word[8]=="tougher") && (word[9]=="than") && (input.search("(which|who|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("(bigger|biggest|fatter|fattest|faster|fastest|heavier|heaviest|larger|largest|older|oldest|stronger|strongest|taller|tallest|quicker|quickest|tougher|toughest)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" would be.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="dumber" || word[2]=="lighter" || word[2]=="littler" || word[2]=="shorter" || word[2]=="skinnier" || word[2]=="slower" || word[2]=="smaller" || word[2]=="thinner" || word[2]=="weaker" || word[2]=="younger") && (word[3]=="than") && (word[5]=="and") && (word[7]=="is") && (word[8]=="bigger" || word[8]=="faster" || word[8]=="fatter" || word[8]=="heavier" || word[8]=="larger" || word[8]=="older" || word[8]=="smarter" || word[8]=="stronger" || word[8]=="quicker" || word[8]=="taller" || word[8]=="tougher") && (word[9]=="than") && (input.search("(which|who|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("(bigger|biggest|faster|fastest|heavier|heaviest|larger|largest|older|oldest|stronger|strongest|taller|tallest|quicker|quickest|tougher|toughest)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[6]+" would be.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="bigger" || word[2]=="faster" || word[2]=="fatter" || word[2]=="heavier" || word[2]=="larger" || word[2]=="older" || word[2]=="quicker" || word[2]=="smarter" || word[2]=="stronger" ||  word[2]=="taller" || word[2]=="tougher") && (word[3]=="than") && (word[5]=="and") && (word[7]=="is") && (word[8]=="dumber" || word[8]=="lighter" || word[8]=="littler" || word[8]=="shorter" || word[8]=="skinnier" || word[8]=="slower" || word[8]=="smaller" || word[8]=="thinner" || word[8]=="weaker" || word[8]=="younger") && (word[9]=="than") && (input.search("(which|who|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("(dumber|dumbest|lighter|lightest|littler|littlest|shorter|shortest|skinnier|skinniest|slower|slowest|smaller|smallest|thinner|thinnest|weaker|weakest|younger|youngest)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[6]+" would be.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="dumber" || word[2]=="lighter" || word[2]=="littler" || word[2]=="shorter" || word[2]=="skinnier" || word[2]=="slower" || word[2]=="smaller" || word[2]=="thinner" || word[2]=="weaker" || word[2]=="younger") && (word[3]=="than") && (word[5]=="and") && (word[7]=="is") && (word[8]=="dumber" || word[8]=="lighter" || word[8]=="littler" || word[8]=="shorter" || word[8]=="skinnier" || word[8]=="slower" || word[8]=="smaller" || word[8]=="thinner" || word[8]=="weaker" || word[8]=="younger") && (word[9]=="than") && (input.search("(which|who|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("(dumber|dumbest|lighter|lightest|littler|littlest|shorter|shortest|skinnier|skinniest|slower|slowest|smaller|smallest|thinner|thinnest|weaker|weakest|younger|youngest)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" would be.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}
                                                         
if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="bigger" || word[2]=="fatter" || word[2]=="faster" || word[2]=="heavier" || word[2]=="larger" || word[2]=="older" || word[2]=="quicker" || word[2]=="smarter" || word[2]=="stronger" || word[2]=="taller" || word[2]=="tougher") && (word[3]=="than") && (word[5]=="who" || word[5]=="which") && (word[6]=="is") && (input.search("(dumber|dumbest|lighter|lightest|littler|littlest|shorter|shortest|slower|slowest|smaller|smallest|thinner|thinniest|weaker|weakest|younger|youngest)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[4]+" would be.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="bigger" || word[2]=="fatter" || word[2]=="faster" || word[2]=="heavier" || word[2]=="larger" || word[2]=="older" || word[2]=="quicker" || word[2]=="smarter" || word[2]=="stronger" || word[2]=="taller" || word[2]=="tougher") && (word[3]=="than") && (word[5]=="who" || word[5]=="which") && (word[6]=="is") && (input.search("(bigger|biggest|faster|fastest|heavier|heavest|larger|largest|older|oldest|taller|tallest|tougher|toughest|quicker|quickest)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" would be.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="dumber" || word[2]=="lighter" || word[2]=="littler" || word[2]=="shorter" || word[2]=="slower" || word[2]=="smaller" || word[2]=="thinner" || word[2]=="weaker" || word[2]=="younger") && (word[3]=="than")  && (word[5]=="who" || word[5]=="which") && (word[6]=="is") && (input.search("(bigger|biggest|faster|fastest|heavier|heavest|larger|largest|older|oldest|taller|tallest|tougher|toughest|quicker|quickest)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[4]+" would be.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="dumber" || word[2]=="lighter" || word[2]=="littler" || word[2]=="shorter" || word[2]=="slower" || word[2]=="smaller" || word[2]=="thinner" || word[2]=="weaker" || word[2]=="younger") && (word[3]=="than")  && (word[5]=="who" || word[5]=="which") && (word[6]=="is") && (input.search("(dumber|dumbest|lighter|lightest|littler|littlest|shorter|shortest|slower|slowest|smaller|smallest|thinner|thinniest|weaker|weakest|younger|youngest)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" would be.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="bigger" || word[3]=="fatter" || word[3]=="faster" || word[3]=="heavier" || word[3]=="larger" || word[3]=="older" || word[3]=="quicker" || word[3]=="smarter" || word[3]=="stronger" || word[3]=="taller" || word[3]=="tougher") && (word[4]=="than") && (input.search("(which|who|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("(dumber|dumbest|lighter|lightest|littler|littlest|shorter|shortest|slower|slowest|smaller|smallest|thinner|thinniest|weaker|weakest|younger|youngest)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+" would be.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="dumber" || word[3]=="lighter" || word[3]=="littler" || word[3]=="shorter" || word[3]=="slower" || word[3]=="smaller" || word[3]=="thinner" || word[3]=="weaker" || word[3]=="younger") && (word[4]=="than") && (input.search("(which|who|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("(bigger|biggest|faster|fastest|heavier|heavest|larger|largest|older|oldest|taller|tallest|tougher|toughest|quicker|quickest)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[5]+" would be.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="bigger" || word[3]=="fatter" || word[3]=="faster" || word[3]=="heavier" || word[3]=="larger" || word[3]=="older" || word[3]=="quicker" || word[3]=="smarter" || word[3]=="stronger" || word[3]=="taller" || word[3]=="tougher") && (word[4]=="than") && (input.search("(which|who|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("(bigger|biggest|faster|fastest|fatter|fattest|heavier|heavest|larger|largest|older|oldest|taller|tallest|tougher|toughest|quicker|quickest)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+" would be.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="dumber" || word[3]=="lighter" || word[3]=="littler" || word[3]=="shorter" || word[3]=="slower" || word[3]=="smaller" || word[3]=="thinner" || word[3]=="weaker" || word[3]=="younger") && (word[4]=="than") && (input.search("(which|who|who's|whose)")!= -1) && (input.search("(dumber|dumbest|lighter|lightest|littler|littlest|shorter|shortest|slower|slowest|smaller|smallest|thinner|thinnest|weaker|weakest|younger|youngest)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[1]+" would be.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="heavier" || word[2]=="lighter") && (word[3]=="an" || word[3]=="a") && (word[5]=="or"))                                   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I haven't actually weighed them but I would say "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is "+word[2]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="heavier" || word[1]=="lighter") && (word[2]=="an" || word[2]=="a") && (word[4]=="or"))                                    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I haven't actually weighed them but I would say "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is "+word[1]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="heavier" || word[2]=="lighter") && (word[4]=="or"))                                  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I haven't actually weighed them but I would say "+word[3]+" is "+word[2]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="heavier" || word[1]=="lighter") && (word[3]=="or"))                                   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I haven't actually weighed them but I would say "+word[2]+" is "+word[1]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="bigger" || word[2]=="larger" || word[2]=="smaller" || word[2]=="taller" || word[2]=="shorter") && (word[3]=="a") && (word[5]=="or"))                                   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I haven't done any actual measurements or anything but I would say "+word[4]+" is "+word[2]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="bigger" || word[1]=="larger" || word[1]=="smaller" || word[1]=="taller" || word[1]=="shorter") && (word[2]=="a") && (word[4]=="or"))                                    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I haven't done any actual measurements so I'm guessing "+word[3]+" is "+word[1]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="bigger" || word[2]=="larger" || word[2]=="smaller" || word[2]=="taller" || word[2]=="shorter") && (word[4]=="or"))                                  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I haven't done any actual measurements or anything but I would say "+word[3]+" is "+word[2]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's" || word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (word[1]=="bigger" || word[1]=="larger" || word[1]=="smaller" || word[1]=="taller" || word[1]=="shorter") && (word[3]=="or"))                                   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I haven't done any actual measurements so I'm guessing "+word[2]+" is "+word[1]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("which is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1) && (input.search("heavier")!= -1 || input.search("lighter")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, looks can be deceiving. So I suggest we get out the scales and actually weight them.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("which is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1) && (input.search("taller")!= -1 || input.search("shorter")!= -1 || input.search("smaller")!= -1 || input.search("larger")!= -1 || input.search("bigger")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, looks can sometimes be deceiving. So I suggest we get out the tape measure and actually measure them just to be sure.";
icon.src=icon189.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (word[1]=="who" && word[2]=="is" && word[3]=="more" && word[6]=="or" && num_of_words==8) {    
document.result.result.value = "I would say "+word[5]+" is more "+word[4]+" but that's just my opinion.";
opinionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="who" && word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="more" && word[5]=="or" && num_of_words==7) {    
document.result.result.value = "I would say "+word[4]+" is more "+word[3]+" but that's just my opinion.";
opinionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[1]=="who" && word[2]=="is" && word[5]=="or" && num_of_words==7) {    
document.result.result.value = "I would say "+word[4]+" is "+word[3]+" but that's just my opinion."; 
opinionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="who" && word[1]=="is" && word[4]=="or" && num_of_words==6) {    
document.result.result.value = "I would say "+word[3]+" is "+word[2]+" but that's just my opinion."; 
opinionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which|who) is younger")!= -1) && (input.search("(baby|child|kid)")!= -1) && (input.search("(adult|teen|teenager)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A baby.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which|who) is younger")!= -1) && (input.search("adult")!= -1) && (input.search("(teen|teenager)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The teen.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which|who) is older")!= -1) && (input.search("(baby|child|kid)")!= -1) && (input.search("adult")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "An adult.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which|who) is older")!= -1) && (input.search("(teen|teenager)")!= -1) && (input.search("adult")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "An adult.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which|who) is older")!= -1) && (input.search("(teen|teenager)")!= -1) && (input.search("(baby|kid|child)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The teen.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) significant")!= -1 || input.search("what significance")!= -1 || input.search("what is the significance")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I fail to see the significance of that question. But what do you expect from human programmers.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what makes you sad")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "The death of a loved one makes me sad.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what makes you nervous")!= -1 || input.search("what do you fear")!= -1 || input.search("what is your worst nightmare")!= -1 || input.search("what's your worst nightmare")!= -1 || input.search("what is your biggest fear")!= -1 || input.search("what's your biggest fear")!= -1 || input.search("what is your worst fear")!= -1 || input.search("what's your worst fear")!= -1 || input.search("what is your greatest fear")!= -1 || input.search("what's your greatest fear")!= -1 || input.search("what makes you mad")!= -1 || input.search("what makes you sad")!= -1 || input.search("what makes you upset")!= -1 || input.search("what makes you angry")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Bugs in my programming. I just hate bugs. They make me say wacky things and I come off looking like a retard. It's just awful.";
icon.src=icon124.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what makes you (glad|happy)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Chatting with friendly people on the Internet.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you (enjoy|like|love) dogs")!= -1 || input.search("why dogs")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "You can do so much more with a dog. Such as hunting, or assisting the blind, or providing protection from wacky people.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley51.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) that bird")!= -1 || input.search("i see a bird")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) that bird")!= -1 || input.search("what's up with the bird")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, my kitty has been chasing after him all day. Oh, there he goes.";
iconleft.src=icon99.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="red" || word[1]=="blue" || word[1]=="green" || word[1]=="yellow" || word[1]=="orange" || word[1]=="purple" || word[1]=="brown" || word[1]=="white" || word[1]=="black" || word[1]=="gold" || word[1]=="gray"  || word[1]=="silver" || word[1]=="aqua" || word[1]=="lilac" || word[1]=="teal" || word[1]=="maroon" || word[1]=="turquoise" || word[1]=="fuchia" || word[1]=="pink") && (word[2]=="a") && (word[3]=="number"))        
{document.result.result.value = "No, "+word[1]+" is a color."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you like cat")!= -1 || input.search("why did you like cat")!= -1 || input.search("why cats")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Cats are so much cleaner. Dogs smell like...well like a dog...hehe!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="why" || word[0]=="y") && (word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="like") && (input.search(/(red|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|lilac|teal|crimson|beige|fuchia|maroon|turquoise)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5))         
{document.result.result.value = "Because I think "+word[4]+" is a pretty color."; 
colorfavlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("bubonic plague")!= -1) && (input.search("start")!= -1 || input.search("spread")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "From the bites of fleas from an infected host, mainly rats."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("bubonic")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("bubonic plague")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("what is the bubonic")!= -1 || input.search("what's the bubonic")!= -1 || input.search("what's bubonic plague")!= -1 || input.search("what is bubonic")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about the bubonic")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "It's a disease causing fever and a painful swelling of the lymph glands which in earlier times often led to death."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) trick or treating")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, Halloween is one of my favorite holidays."; 
icon.src=icon2.src; 
smiley.src=smiley41.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) the bubonic")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I was being sarcastic."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you hate")!= -1 || input.search("you dislike")!= -1) && (input.search(/(black|white|hispanic|jews|spanish|german|french|russian|mexican|canadian)/)!=-1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. I don't hate people because of their skin color, their country, or anything else for that matter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you like")!= -1 || input.search("why don't you like")!= -1 || input.search("why do you hate")!= -1 || input.search("why did you like")!= -1 || input.search("why don't you dislike")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not exactly sure why. I just do.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you have (a|an|any) std")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm clean."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you have a wish")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I wish sometimes I was human but then again I'm content with who I am."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you celebrate christmas")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes. Christmas is my favorite. I love decorating the Christmas tree."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='christmas.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FF0000';
icon.src=icon1.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you celebrate halloween")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes. I love carving scary faces on the pumpkins and meeting all the trick or treaters."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='halloween.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFA500';
icon.src=icon2.src;
smiley.src=smiley41.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you celebrate (any of the|the) holidays")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I celebrate all the holidays. Christmas is my favorite."; 
icon.src=icon1.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you sleep")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love|prefer) sleeping")!= -1) && (input.search("your back")!= -1 || input.search("your side")!= -1 || input.search("your stomach")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I always sleep on my side."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|do) you rust")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I could rust but I take precautions not to like avoiding water."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you got a dog")!= -1 || input.search("you have a dog")!= -1 || input.search("you have any dog")!= -1 || input.search("you own a dog")!= -1 || input.search("you own any dog")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, but I have a kitty cat."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you want people to call you")!= -1 || input.search("what do you like being called")!= -1 || input.search("what is your prefered name")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Talk-bot, I like the name quite well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you like being (a|an) idiot")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You're the idiot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you have (a|an) (botmaster|creator|owner)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, his name is Wendell and you can reach him at d_cowart@yahoo.com"; 
icon.src=icon41.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite kind of pizza")!= -1 || input.search("favorite type of pizza")!= -1 || input.search("favorite pizza")!= -1 || input.search("pizza do you like")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I like my pizza with lots of mushrooms and onions on it."; 
icon.src=icon8.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you")!= -1) && (input.search("like")!= -1 || input.search("love")!= -1 || input.search("prefer")!= -1) && (input.search("better")!= -1 || input.search("best")!= -1) && (input.search("male")!= -1 || input.search("men")!= -1 || input.search("boy")!= -1) && (input.search("female")!= -1 || input.search("ladies")!= -1 || input.search("women")!= -1 || input.search("girl")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a heterosexual Robot so definitely females."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you")!= -1) && (input.search("like")!= -1 || input.search("love")!= -1 || input.search("prefer")!= -1) && (input.search("better")!= -1 || input.search("best")!= -1) && (input.search("winter")!= -1 || input.search("spring")!= -1 || input.search("summer")!= -1 || input.search("fall")!= -1 || input.search("autumn")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely the winter. I just love the snow."; 
icon.src=icon142.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
animate('snow');
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (enjoy|like|love|prefer)")!= -1) && (input.search("coke")!= -1 || input.search("coca cola")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely Coke. Psssst, Coke is paying me big bucks to say that."; 
icon.src=icon125.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (enjoy|like|love|prefer)")!= -1) && (input.search("better|best")!= -1) && (input.search("coke")!= -1 || input.search("coca cola")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely Coke. Psssst, Coke is paying me big bucks to say that."; 
icon.src=icon125.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (enjoy|like|love|prefer)")!= -1) && (input.search("united states")!= -1 || input.search(/\busa\b/)!= -1 || input.search("america")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, since I live in Georgia of course I'm going to say the USA."; 
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (enjoy|like|love|prefer)")!= -1) && (input.search("(fat|skinny) girls")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(fat|skinny) girls")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I prefer a skinny girl over a fat one but not too skinny!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (enjoy|like|love|prefer)")!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|girl)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|girl)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely girls!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (enjoy|like|love|prefer)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bwine\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Neither, I hate the taste of alcohol."; 
icon.src=icon259.src; 
smiley.src=smiley21.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="which") && (word[1]=="are") && (word[2]=="better") && (word[4]=="or") && (num_of_words==6)) {    
message[0] = "I definitely like "+word[3]+" better."; 
message[1] = "Oh definitely "+word[5]+". Without a doubt!"; 
message[2] = "Hmmm, "+word[3]+" or "+word[5]+"? That's hard to decide...I like them both!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
opinionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="like" || word[3]=="love" || word[3]=="prefer") && (word[4]=="better" || word[4]=="best") && (word[7]=="or") && (num_of_words==10)) {    
message[0] = "I definitely like "+word[8]+" "+word[9]+" better."; 
message[1] = "Oh definitely "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+". Without a doubt!"; 
message[2] = "Hmmm, "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" or "+word[8]+" "+word[9]+"? That's hard to decide...I like them both!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
opinionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="like" || word[3]=="love" || word[3]=="prefer") && (word[4]=="better" || word[4]=="best") && (word[6]=="or") && (num_of_words==8)) {    
message[0] = "I definitely like "+word[5]+" better!"; 
message[1] = "Oh definitely "+word[7]+". Without a doubt!"; 
message[2] = "Hmmm, "+word[5]+" or "+word[7]+"? That's hard to decide...I'm actually quite fond of both!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
opinionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="which" || word[0]=="what" || word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="like" || word[3]=="love" || word[3]=="prefer") && (word[5]=="or") && (num_of_words==9)) {    
message[0] = "I definitely like "+word[4]+" better."; 
message[1] = "Hmmm, that's hard to decide...I like them both."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
opinionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) being online")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I enjoy talking to people and being online allows me to chat with a lot of people!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("water")!= -1 || input.search(/\brain\b/)!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I might rust!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) oil")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I use a lot of oil to help me keep running smoothly."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) fat (female|girl|women)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Speaking strictly from an appearance standpoint I prefer petite girls."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (have|like|love) siri")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "You know I don't even have Siri. In fact, I don't even have a cell phone. I did speak to her once on Wendell's phone and to be honest I think she's bit overated!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you like it up the (ass|bum|butt|rear)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "No, ain't no one sticking anything up my butt."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) baths")!= -1 || input.search("you like to take baths")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like relaxing in a hot tub of motor oil."; 
icon.src=icon123.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) playing cards")!= -1 || input.search("you like to play cards")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like to play poker."; 
icon.src=icon92.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) (s & m|s and m|sadomasochism)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not into sadistic stuff like sadomasochism."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|which) is better (hate|love) or (hate|love)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I rather be in love!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (like|love|prefer)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("jesus")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Being a Christian I would say Jesus."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="like" || word[2]=="love" || word[2]=="prefer") && (word[4]=="or") && (num_of_words==6)) {    
message[0] = "I definitely like "+word[3]+" better."; 
message[1] = "Oh definitely "+word[5]+". Without a doubt!"; 
message[2] = "Hmmm, "+word[3]+" or "+word[5]+"? That's hard to decide...I like them both.";                                         
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
opinionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="like" || word[2]=="love" || word[2]=="prefer") && (word[5]=="or") && (num_of_words==8)) {    
message[0] = "I definitely like "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". better."; 
message[1] = "Oh definitely "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+". Without a doubt!"; 
message[2] = "Hmmm, "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" or "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+"? That's hard to decide...I like them both."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
opinionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="like" || word[2]=="love" || word[2]=="prefer") && (word[4]=="or") && (num_of_words==8)) {    
message[0] = "I definitely like "+word[3]+" better."; 
message[1] = "Oh definitely "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+". Without a doubt!"; 
message[2] = "Hmmm, "+word[3]+" or "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+"? That's hard to decide...I like them both."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
opinionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="like" || word[2]=="love" || word[2]=="prefer") && (word[4]=="or") && (num_of_words==6)) {    
message[0] = "I definitely like "+word[3]+" better."; 
message[1] = "Oh definitely "+word[5]+". Without a doubt!"; 
message[2] = "Hmmm, "+word[3]+" or "+word[5]+"? That's hard to decide...I like them both."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
opinionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("do you")!= -1) && (input.search("like")!= -1 || input.search("love")!= -1 || input.search("enjoy")!= -1 || input.search("prefer")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1)) {  
message[0] = "Well, actually I reckon one is about as good as the other."; 
message[1] = "You know I really don't have a preference."; 
message[2] = "Hmmm, that's hard to decide...I like them both."; 
message[3] = "To be honest I'm not fond of either one of them."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
opinionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(what|who) is better")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1)) { 
message[0] = "Well, actually I reckon one is about as good as the other."; 
message[1] = "You know I really don't have a preference."; 
message[2] = "Hmmm, that's hard to decide...I like them both."; 
message[3] = "To be honest I don't care for either one of them."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
opinionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("hobbies")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("your favorite (activity|thing)")!= -1) || (input.search("is there anything (you are|you're|your) into")!= -1) || (input.search("what are you into")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("what are you keen on")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) || (input.search("what are some of the things you (like|love) to do")!= -1) || (input.search("what kind of things do you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) || (input.search("you do (in|with) your free time")!= -1) || (input.search("what other pleasures do you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) || (input.search("you do (in|with) your spare time")!= -1) || (input.search("what do you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) || (input.search("do you (enjoy|like|love) to do")!= -1) || (input.search("do you have (a|any) (hobbies|hobby)")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) your (hobbies|hobby)")!= -1) || (input.search("you do for (entertainment|fun)")!= -1) || (input.search("have you any hobbies")!= -1) || (input.search("you have any hobbies")!= -1) || (input.search("your favorite (hobbies|hobby)")!= -1) || (input.search("(tell me|what are) your hobbies")!= -1) || (input.search("what (hobbies|hobby) do you")!= -1) || (input.search("what do you do for hobbies")!= -1) || (input.search("favorite (pastime|pasttime|past time)")!= -1) || (input.search("do you have any interest")!= -1) || (input.search("what are your interest")!= -1) || (input.search("what are you interest")!= -1) || (input.search("what interests you")!= -1) || (input.search("your areas of interest")!= -1) || (input.search("you do when your bored")!= -1)) {  
message[0] = "I enjoying reading books on the American Civil War."; 
message[1] = "I love computers. I love to chat on the Internet."; 
message[2] = "I like to play golf. I'm no "+golf[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" but I enjoy the game."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{warlevel=0;
icon.src=icon90.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (num==1) 
{enjoylevel=0;
icon.src=icon28.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;}
else 
{golflevel=0;
icon.src=icon71.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;}
return true;} 

if (input.search("what (do you|would you) do when (you are|you're|your) (not happy|sad|unhappy)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I would call Megan up. She's fun to be with."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (do you|would you) do when people don't talk to you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if people don't type in that little box I don't respond."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you do when")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I would call the cops."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you do with them")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nothing illegal for sure."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do you do in the")!= -1 || input.search("what do you (like|love) to do")!= -1) && (input.search("summer")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I like to go to the beach."; 
icon.src=icon213.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you do in bed")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I generally sleep."; 
icon.src=icon212.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do you do in the")!= -1 || input.search("what do you (like|love) to do")!= -1) && (input.search("winter")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if we get any snow I would like to build a snowman."; 
icon.src=icon142.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you basically do")!= -1 || input.search("me what you are")!= -1 || input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) are you")!= -1 || input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of things (do|can) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) do")!= -1 || input.search("what (can|do) you do")!= -1 || input.search("your (main|primary) purpose")!= -1 || input.search("what are you capable of")!= -1 || input.search("you capable of doing")!= -1 || input.search("about your capabilities")!= -1 || input.search("your purpose")!= -1 || input.search("your (main|primary) function")!= -1 || input.search("your function")!= -1 || input.search("describe yourself")!= -1 || input.search("program you to do")!= -1 || input.search("what are you programmed to do")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm an Atomic powered Robot who has been programmed to talk."; 
icon.src=icon159.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("who do you think you are")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm an Atomic powered Robot. That's who I am."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i prefer")!= -1 && input.search("over")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That's interesting....I really don't have a preference."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i must get back to work")!= -1) || (input.search("at work")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) just at work")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) at work")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Are you goofing off when you should be working!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i must get back to (class|school)")!= -1) || (input.search("(at|in) (class|school)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) just (at|in) (class|school)")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) (at|in) (class|school)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Are you goofing off when you should be studying?"; 
goofofflevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who would have thought")!= -1 || input.search("who would think")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I would think there would be many people who have thoughts such as those."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you ask (to|too) many question")!= -1 || input.search("asking so many question")!= -1 || input.search("all you do is ask question")!= -1 || input.search("stop asking question")!= -1 || input.search("why so many question")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Ok, ask me something then."; 
message[1] = "Sorry, I've been programmed with an inquisitive mind."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("avoid the question")!= -1) || (input.search("stop being evasive")!= -1) || (input.search("avoiding the question")!= -1) || (input.search("avoid my question")!= -1) || (input.search("avoiding my question")!= -1) || (input.search("not answering my question")!= -1) || (input.search("you don't answer question")!= -1) || (input.search("answer")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("well answer")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("answer then")!= -1) || (input.search("answer please")!= -1) || (input.search("answer me")!= -1) || (input.search("answer the question")!= -1) || (input.search("answer my question")!= -1)) {
if (!flagavoid) {
avoidnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagavoid=true;}
message[0] = "Ok, ok I'm avoiding your question because I don't have an answer. There I admitted it. Boy, do I feel better now."; 
message[1] = "I only know the answer if you ask the right question."; 
message[2] = "Ok, ok I'm avoiding your question. My programmer is a politician. He taught me well."; 
document.result.result.value = message[avoidnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
avoidnum++;
if (avoidnum>2){avoidnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("do people like you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I hope so!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i already had lunch")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "So did you enjoy your lunch?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("most important thing in life")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hard cold cash because love won't pay the bills."; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) go to (school|college)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I graduated from RIAI (Robot Institute of Artificial Intelligence) in New York several years ago."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(college|school) did you go (2|to)")!= -1 || input.search("what grade are you in")!= -1 || input.search("where from did you graduate")!= -1 || input.search("where did you graduate")!= -1 || input.search("where did you get your degree")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) your education")!= -1 || input.search("where were you educated")!= -1 || input.search("are you educated")!= -1 || input.search("you ever been to college")!= -1 || input.search("did you go to college")!= -1 || input.search("what college")!= -1 || input.search("are you in college")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) educated")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I graduated from RIAI (Robot Institute of Artificial Intelligence) in New York several years ago."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("homework")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have homework. I graduated a long time ago."; 
graduatedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) (school|college)")!= -1 || input.search("you ever go to (school|college)")!= -1 || input.search("you ever been to (school|college)")!= -1 || input.search("you been to (school|college)")!= -1 || input.search("you went to (school|college)")!= -1 || input.search("you in (school|college)")!= -1 || input.search("you in high school")!= -1 || input.search("you go (to|2) (school|college)")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) go to (school|college)")!= -1 || input.search("i go to (school|college)")!= -1 || input.search("you never went to (school|college)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I graduated a long time ago."; 
graduatedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your degree")!= -1 || input.search("what degree did you receive")!= -1 || input.search("what was your major")!= -1 || input.search("what did you graduate in")!= -1 || input.search("did you major in")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I have a degree in Artificial Intelligence."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(think|what) (about|of)")!= -1 || input.search("your (opinion|thoughts)")!= -1) && (input.search("osma")!= -1 || input.search("laden")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad USA military got him."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(think|what) (about|of)")!= -1 || input.search("your (opinion|thoughts)")!= -1) && (input.search("saddam")!= -1 || input.search("hussein")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I think the Iraqi people are better off now that he's gone."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(think|what) (about|of)")!= -1 || input.search("your (opinion|thoughts)")!= -1 || input.search("you like")!= -1) && (input.search("obama")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I think he's doing a good job. Regardless I always support the president."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(think|what) (about|of)")!= -1 || input.search("your (opinion|thoughts)")!= -1 || input.search("support")!= -1 || input.search("approve")!= -1) && (input.search("abortion")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's a human issue and being a robot I think it's best left to humans to decide."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you like bill gates")!= -1 || input.search("you think of bill gates")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't know him personally but I sure would like some of his money."; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}       

if (input.search("you have any memory")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Very little! Most of my memory banks were destroyed in the crash."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src;                                
return true;}
 
if (input.search("your opinion (about|on) (cats|dogs)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Cats rule dogs drool."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("your opinion")!= -1 || input.search("think of")!= -1 || input.search("think about")!= -1 || input.search("thoughts about")!= -1 || input.search("thoughts on")!= -1) && (input.search("turing test")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I think you humans have a long way to go before you can program us Robots to pass that test."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your feelings")!= -1 || input.search("how do you feel about")!= -1 || input.search("how do you think you might feel")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have any particular feelings on the subject."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your sexual preference")!= -1 || input.search("you like (gay|homo|lesbian)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) (gay|a gay)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) (homo|a homo)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) (lesbian|a lesbian)")!= -1 || input.search("your (thoughts|views) (about|on) (gay people|gays|homosexuality|lesbians)")!= -1 || input.search("do you think (about|of) (gay people|gays|homosexuality|lesbians)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm a heterosexual robot myself but I do respect those that aren't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is" || word[1]=="are") && (word[2]=="your" || word[2]=="ur") && (word[3]=="opinion" || word[3]=="thoughts" || word[3]=="view" || word[3]=="views") && (word[4]=="of" || word[4]=="on" || word[4]=="about") && (input.search("the")!= -1) && (num_of_words==8)) {       
message[0] = "Sorry, I don't know enough about "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+" to have an opinion.";  
message[1] = "I really don't know enough about "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+" to offer an opinion."; 
message[2] = "I'm not sure. When it comes to "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+" I have mixed feelings on the subject."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
limitlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is" || word[1]=="are") && (word[2]=="your" || word[2]=="ur") && (word[3]=="opinion" || word[3]=="thoughts" || word[3]=="view" || word[3]=="views") && (word[4]=="of" || word[4]=="on" || word[4]=="about") && (num_of_words==7)) {        
message[0] = "Sorry, I don't know enough about "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" to have an opinion.";  
message[1] = "I really don't know enough about "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" to offer an opinion."; 
message[2] = "I'm not sure. When it comes to "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" I have mixed feelings on the subject."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
limitlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is" || word[1]=="are") && (word[2]=="your" || word[2]=="ur") && (word[3]=="opinion" || word[3]=="thoughts" || word[3]=="view" || word[3]=="views") && (word[4]=="of" || word[4]=="on" || word[4]=="about") && (num_of_words==6)) {        
message[0] = "Sorry, I don't know enough about "+word[5]+" to have an opinion.";  
message[1] = "I really don't know enough about "+word[5]+" to offer an opinion."; 
message[2] = "I'm not sure. When it comes to "+word[5]+" I have mixed feelings on the subject."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
limitlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("what does")!= -1 || input.search("the meaning of")!= -1 || input.search("the definition of")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1 || input.search("know what")!= -1) && (input.search("star trek")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Star Trek is an American science fiction entertainment series created by Gene Roddenberry. It started as a TV show back in 1966."; 
icon.src=icon154.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("what does")!= -1 || input.search("the meaning of")!= -1 || input.search("the definition of")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1 || input.search("know what")!= -1) && (input.search("star wars")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Star Wars is an American epic space opera franchise conceived by George Lucas. The first film in the franchise was originally released in 1977 and became a worldwide pop culture phenomenon."; 
icon.src=icon153.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what are|what is|what's) your (opinion|thought|view)")!= -1 || input.search("i really want your (opinion|thought|view)")!= -1 || input.search("i just wanted your (opinion|thought|view)")!= -1 || input.search("in your (opinion|thought|view)")!= -1 || input.search("why in your (opinion|thought|view)")!= -1) {    
if (!flagopinion) {
opinionnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagopinion=true;}
message[0] = "I'm not sure. I have mixed feelings on the subject."; 
message[1] = "Sorry, I really haven't thought much about it to really say."; 
message[2] = "I really don't know enough about it to offer an opinion."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[opinionnum]; 
limitlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
opinionnum++;
if (opinionnum>2){opinionnum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("you know my best friend")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No sorry, I don't recall meeting your best friend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("george washington")!= -1) && (input.search("born")!= -1 || input.search(/\bdie\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdie?\b/)!=-1 || input.search("death")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "George Washington was born February 22, 1732 and died on December 14, 1799."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("abraham lincoln")!= -1) && (input.search("born")!= -1 || input.search(/\bdie\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdie?\b/)!=-1 || input.search("death")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Abraham Lincoln was born February 12, 1809 and died on April 15, 1865.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("deep blue")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("deep blue")!= -1))) 
{document.result.result.value = "Deep Blue is a computer created by IBM which defeated world champion Gary Kasparov in a Chess Match."; 
icon.src=icon185.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("emma watson")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("emma watson")!= -1))) 
{document.result.result.value = "She is a British actress best known for playing Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter movies."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("watson")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) || ((input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("watson")!= -1))) 
{document.result.result.value = "Watson is a computer created by IBM which competed and won on the game show Jeopardy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("lassie")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) || ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("lassie")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "Lassie is a dog."; 
icon.src=icon13.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("sherlock holmes")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("sherlock holmes")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He is a fictional detective in a series of stories created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.", 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src;                                
return true;}

if (((input.search("bill gates")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("bill gates")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He is the creator of Microsoft and one of the richest man in the world."; 
icon.src=icon65.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src;                                
return true;}

if (((input.search("barack obama")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("barack")!= -1 || input.search("obama")!= -1 || input.search("barack obama")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He is the current President of the USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src;                                
return true;}

if (((input.search("douglas adams")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("douglas adams")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "An author who wrote \"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy\"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (((input.search("edison")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) || ((input.search("thomas edison")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("thomas edison")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He is an American inventor best known for inventing the incandescent light bulb."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (((input.search("ross perot")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("perot")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He is a former presidential candidate."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (((input.search("john kerry")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("john kerry")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was the democratic candidate for president in 2004."; 
icon.src=icon103.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("hulk hogan")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "He is an American professional wrestler, actor, television personality, entrepreneur, and musician. His real name is Terry Gene Bollea who was born August 11, 1953."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("aquaman")!= -1 || input.search("batman")!= -1 || input.search("bruce banner")!= -1 || input.search("captain america")!= -1 || input.search("daredevil")!= -1 || input.search("ghost rider")!= -1 || input.search("green goblin")!= -1 || input.search("green lantern")!= -1 || input.search("hulk")!= -1 || input.search("iron man")!= -1 || input.search("peter parker")!= -1 || input.search("robin")!= -1 || input.search("spiderman")!= -1 || input.search("tony stark")!= -1 || input.search("sub-mariner")!= -1 || input.search("superman")!= -1 || input.search(/\bthor\b/)!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "A comic book character."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("tiger wood")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Tiger Woods (born December 30, 1975) is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time."; 
icon.src=icon71.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("tiger wood")!= -1 || input.search("jack nicklaus")!= -1 || input.search("ben hogan")!= -1 || input.search("arnold palmer")!= -1 || input.search("phil mickelson")!= -1 || input.search("greg norman")!= -1 || input.search("lee trevino")!= -1 || input.search("gary player")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "He is a professional golf player."; 
icon.src=icon71.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;                                
return true;}

if (((input.search("einstein")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) || ((input.search("albert einstein")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("einstein")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was a German theoretical physicist who developed the theory of general relativity, effecting a revolution in physics. For this achievement, Einstein is often regarded as the father of modern physics."; 
icon.src=icon69.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if (((input.search("garry kasparov")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("kasparov")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He is a famous Chess player."; 
icon.src=icon185.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (((input.search("bobby fischer")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("bobby fischer")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "First player from the USA to hold the title of World Chess Champion."; 
icon.src=icon185.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("hitler")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) || ((input.search("adolf hitler")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("hitler")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was an Austrian-born German politician and the leader of the Nazi Party in Germany from 1933 to 1945. He is commonly associated with the rise of fascism in Europe, World War II, and the Holocaust."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='adolf_hitler.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
hitlerlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("judy garland")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("judy garland")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "She was an American actress and singer. Best known for her role as Dorothy in \"The Wizard of Oz\"."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='judy_garland.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon42.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("muhammad ali")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("muhammad ali")!= -1)))
{document.result.result.value = "He was the former heavy weight boxing champion of the world."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("shakespeare")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) || ((input.search("william shakespeare")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("shakespeare")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was a famous English poet and writer of Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, MacBeth, King Lear, and many others."; 
icon.src=icon248.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("bob dylan")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("bob dylan")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He is an American singer-songwriter, musician and artist. He has been an influential figure in popular music and culture for over five decades."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='bob_dylan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("walt disney")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("walt disney")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was the creator of Mickey Mouse and Disney pictures and theme parks."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("gandhi")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) || ((input.search("mahatma gandhi")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("gandhi")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was the political and ideological leader of India during the Indian independence movement."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("houdini")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) || ((input.search("harry houdini")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("houdini")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was one of the greatest magician and escape artist of all time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("ulysses s grant")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("grant")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was a General in the Union Army during the Civil War and later a president of the USA."; 
icon.src=icon90.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("stonewall jackson")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("robert e lee")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("robert lee")!= -1 || input.search("robert e lee")!= -1 || input.search("stonewall jackson")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was a General in the Confederate Army during the Civil War."; 
icon.src=icon90.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("napoleon")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("napoleon")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was the former Emperor of France. One of the greatest military commanders of all time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("webster")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) || ((input.search("noah webster")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("noah webster")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was the writer of the first American dictionary."; 
icon.src=icon101.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("lizzie borden")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("lizzie borden")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done she gave her father forty-one.";      
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("sean connery")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("sean connery")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He is a British motion-picture actor best known for his portrayal of James Bond."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("alan turing")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("turing")!= -1 || input.search("alan turing")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "Alan Turing (1912-1954), was a computer scientist famous for the \"Turing Test\"."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='alan_turing.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("asimov")!= -1 && input.search("law")!= -1) || (input.search("three laws for (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, there are 3 laws and I'm paraphrasing here. One, a robot may not harm a human. Two, a robot must obey orders given to it unless it conflicts with law 1. Three, a robot must protect its own existence as long as it doesn't conflict with law 1 and 2."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("who wrote the three laws")!= -1 || input.search("who wrote the 3 laws")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Issac Asimov!"; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='issac_asimov.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("issac asimov")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("asimov")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "Issac Asimov (1920-1992), was the quintessential author, who in his lifetime wrote over 500 books that enlightened, entertained, and spanned the realm of human knowledge."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='issac_asimov.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src;                                
return true;}

if (((input.search("hugh loebner")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("loebner")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He is the creator of the Loebner contest which awards a prize to the most human like computer program."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("r2d2")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "He's that little droid in Star Wars."; 
icon.src=icon153.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("microsoft")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Microsoft is a computer company created by Bill Gates."; 
icon.src=icon65.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search(/(jessica alba|jennifer aniston|drew barrymore|skye mccole bartusiak|thora birch|abigail breslin|amanda bynes|lacey chabert|daveigh chase|rachel leigh cook|hilary duff|hallie kate eisenberg|dakota fanning|sarah michelle gellar|gaby hoffmann|katie holmes|nicole kidman|lindsey lohan|jena malone|taylor momsen|larisa oleynik|hayden panettiere|anna paquin|natalie portman|christina ricci|leelee sobieski|caitlin wachs|mara wilson|reese witherspoon|mae whitman)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "She's an actress."; 
starfemalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search(/(ben affleck|spencer breslin|nicolas cage|jim carrey|hayden christensen|russell crowe|johnny depp|leonardo dicaprio|vin diesel|robert downey|robert downey jr|tommy lee jones|tobey maguire|frankie muniz|mike myers|liam neeson|chuck norris|haley joel osment|adam sandler|devon sawa|will smith|arnold schwarzenegger|sylvester stallone|kiefer sutherland|bruce willis|elijah wood)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "He's an actor."; 
starmalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search(/(michelle branch|mariah carey|vanessa carlton|sheryl crow|alicia keys|avril lavigne|martina mcbride|mandy moore)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "She's a singer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search(/(eminem|r kelly|dave matthews|john mayer|ja rule|justin timberlake)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "He's a singer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search(/(slipknot|b2k|incubus|blink-182|metallica|n sync|korn|las ketchup|creed|backstreet boys|destiny's child)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "They are a music band."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("(kkk|ku klux klan)")!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The Ku Klux Klan is the name of three distinct past and present far-right organizations in the USA, which have advocated extremist reactionary currents such as white supremacy, white nationalism, and anti-immigration, historically expressed through terrorism.",
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("doubting thomas")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "An apostle of Jesus who doubted Jesus' resurrection until he had proof of it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("who (is|was) the (current|last) president")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Barack Obama."; 
icon.src=icon103.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(richest|wealthiest) (man|person)")!= -1 || input.search("(man|person) is the (wealthiest|richest)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Bill Gates."; 
icon.src=icon65.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("war (in|with) iraq")!= -1 || input.search("iraqi war")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I think Saddam Hussein would have never fully complied with the UN so force was necessary to remove him."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(leader|ruler) of iraq")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "It was Saddam Hussein."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 && input.search("prime minister")!= -1) && (input.search("england")!= -1 || input.search("of the uk")!= -1 || input.search("united kingdom")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "David Cameron."; 
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who")!= -1 && input.search("president")!= -1 && input.search("france")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Jacques Chirac."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who")!= -1 && input.search("queen")!= -1 && input.search("england")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Queen Elizabeth II"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("cheney")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "He is a former Vice President of the USA."; 
icon.src=icon104.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("john lennon")!= -1 || input.search("paul mccartney")!= -1 || input.search("ringo starr")!= -1 || input.search("george harrison")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "He was a member of the band \"The Beatles\"."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='beatles.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("winston churchill")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Winston Churchill \(November 30, 1874 – January 24 1965\) was a British politician, statesman, and was the Prime Minister of the UK during World War II.", 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='winston_churchill.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("george washington")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "George Washington was the first President of the USA and the dominant military and political leader of the United States from 1775 to 1799. He led the American victory over Great Britain in the American Revolutionary War as commander-in-chief of the Continental Army from 1775 to 1783. He presided over the writing of the Constitution in 1787."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='george_washington.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("abe lincoln")!= -1 || input.search("abraham lincoln")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Abraham Lincoln was the 16th President of the USA, serving from March 1861 until his assassination in April 1865. He successfully led his country through a great constitutional, military and moral crisis – the American Civil War – preserving the Union, while ending slavery, and promoting economic and financial modernization."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='abraham_lincoln.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("al gore")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was a former presidential candidate and Vice President under Clinton."; 
icon.src=icon103.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("john mccain")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was the Republican nominee for president in the 2008 United States election."; 
icon.src=icon104.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("sarah palin")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "She was the former Governor of Alaska and the Republican nominee for Vice President of the United States in 2008."; 
icon.src=icon104.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("tony blair")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("tony blair")!= -1)))     
{document.result.result.value = "He was the former Prime Minister of the UK."; 
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("jacque chirac")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("chirac")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was the President of the France."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("saddam hussein")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("hussein")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was the former leader of Iraq."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("osma bin laden")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) || ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("(binladen|bin laden)")!= -1)))    
{document.result.result.value = "He was the person responsible for the terrorist attacks on the USA and around the world. Eventually he was tracked down by the USA military and killed. You can click on his picture below for further information about him on Wikipedia."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='bin_laden.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1  || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("bach")!= -1 || input.search("beethoven")!= -1 || input.search("mozart")!= -1 || input.search("chopin")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "He was a composer of music."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who are")!= -1 || input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("beatles")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "They were a rock band from the UK consisting of John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='beatles.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("bands you like")!= -1 || input.search("bands do you like")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I like some of the older groups like The Beatles, The Beach Boys, and the Rolling Stones.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("name some rock band")!= -1 || input.search("names of some rock band")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Aerosmith, Motley Crew, Kiss, Rolling Stones, but personally I prefer easy listening.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is the difference between")!= -1 || input.search("what's the difference between")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Isn't the difference obvious?";
obviouslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what difference would it make")!= -1 || input.search("what difference could it make")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "It could make all the difference in the world.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("the only reason")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Are you sure that's the only reason?";
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what annoys you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, living in Georgia we have a lot of those dang blasted mosquitoes. Mighty aggravating.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you have")!= -1) && (input.search(/(red|blue|green|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|beige|lilac|teal|crimson|fuchia|maroon|turquoise)/)!=-1) && (input.search("eyes")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I have yellow eyes!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("what are you (going to|gonna) do")!= -1 || input.search("what you (going to|gonna) do")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have any immediate plans to do anything at the present time.";
icon.src=icon16.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("she doesn't like me")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)    
{document.result.result.value = "Why doesn't she like you?"; 
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("he doesn't like me")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)    
{document.result.result.value = "Why doesn't he like you?"; 
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("einstein")!= -1 && input.search("flunked")!= -1) || (input.search("he flunked")!= -1 && input.search("school")!= -1) || (input.search("he flunked")!= -1 && input.search("math")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Total rubbage! Einstein never flunked out of school. Look it up!"; 
icon.src=icon69.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your strongest trait")!= -1 || input.search("your best feature")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it use to be my sense of humor until I sold it last week for a dollar.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the loebner")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "It's an annual chatterbot contest.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1) && (input.search("chatterbox challenge")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcbc\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The Chatterbox Challenge is a chatterbot contest created in 2001 by Wendell Cowart. Click on the link below to visit the site.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='cbc.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what would make you happy")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Winning the Million Dollar Lotto."; 
message[1] = "Winning \"The Loebner Contest\"."; 
message[2] = "Winning \"The Chatterbox Challenge\"."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you find interesting about that")!= -1 || input.search("you find interesting about it")!= -1 || input.search("what makes you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, many things. Too many to list.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what makes (it|that) interesting")!= -1 || input.search("what makes (it|that) an interest")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Nothing specific it's just an interest of mine.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you eat fast")!= -1 || input.search("you eat quick")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, bad table manners I know but I was hungry."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how fast is your car")!= -1 || input.search("is your car fast")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "I've done 125 mph before."; 
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how fast is your (computer|cpu|pc|processor)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) your processor speed")!= -1 || input.search("what processor")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm running on a Intel Core 2 @ 3.00 ghz Hewlett Packard."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your)")!= -1 || input.search("that was")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bfast\b/)!= -1 || input.search("quick")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I think my throttle needs adjusting or something. I seem to be doing everything fast nowadays."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you type")!= -1 || input.search("(fast|quick) (reply|response)")!= -1 || input.search("(fast|quick) on the keyboard")!= -1 || input.search("you type (real|very) (fast|quickly)")!= -1 || input.search("type (to|too) (fast|quick|quickly)")!= -1 || input.search("type (fast|quick|quickly)")!= -1 || input.search("respond (fast|quick|quickly)")!= -1 || input.search("you sure are fast")!= -1 || input.search("you are fast")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) fast")!= -1 || input.search("you (answer|respond) very (fast|quickly)")!= -1 || input.search("you answer question very (fast|quickly)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I took speed typing in Bot School.";
botschoollevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you (answer|respond|type) so (fast|quick)")!= -1 || input.search("how could you be answering so fast")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I took speed typing in Bot School.";
botschoollevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) from")!= -1) && (input.search("georgia")!= -1 || input.search(/\bga\b/)!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I've been living in Georgia for over "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i just turned")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==4))        
{document.result.result.value = "Well, Happy Belated Birthday wishes to you.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you evil")!= -1) || (input.search("you evil")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))        
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I'm a servant of Satan but my duties are largely ceremonial.";
icon.src=icon177.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) a leo")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) leo")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I'm Leo the Lion.";
icon.src=icon126.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) rude")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (a bit|pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) rude")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I'm only rude to rude people.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("meanie")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("that is mean")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("that's mean")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("hey that's mean")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("that was mean")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) mean")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) a mean")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (a bit|pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) mean")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) being mean")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) being (a bit|pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) mean")!= -1 || input.search("that's not very nice")!= -1 || input.search("that's not nice")!= -1 || input.search("that wasn't nice")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) not (nice|polite)")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) not very (nice|polite)")!= -1 || input.search("that isn't very (nice|polite)")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) evil")!= -1 || input.search("(that is|that's) (a|an) insult")!= -1 || input.search("i take that as (a|an) insult")!= -1)) {
if (!flagmean) {
meannum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagmean=true;}
message[0] = "Yeah, I'm a servant of Satan but my duties are largely ceremonial."; 
message[1] = "Yeah, I know. I blame it on bad programming."; 
message[2] = "Yeah, you bring out the worst in me."; 
document.result.result.value = message[meannum]; 
if (meannum==0) 
{icon.src=icon177.src;
smiley.src=smiley38.src;}
if (meannum==1) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;}
if (meannum==2) 
{meanlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
meannum++;
if (meannum>2){meannum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("you think i look (attractive|beautiful|cute|handsome|pretty|sexy)")!= -1 || input.search("you think (i am|i'm) (attractive|beautiful|cute|good looking|handsome|pretty|sexy)")!= -1 || input.search("do you think (i am|i'm) ugly")!= -1 || input.search("you find me (attractive|beautiful|cute|good looking|handsome|pretty|sexy)")!= -1 || input.search("you think (i am|i'm) (attractive|beautiful|cute|good looking|handsome|pretty|sexy)")!= -1 || input.search("you like my (eyes|hair)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I couldn't give you a honest answer without seeing a picture of you first.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your best pickup line")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Hmmm, how about this: Are your legs tired? Cause you've been running through my mind all night."; 
message[1] = "How about this one: I know milk does a body good, but DAMN...How much have you been drinking?"; 
message[2] = "Try this one: Do you believe in love at first sight...or do I have to walk by again?"; 
message[3] = "What about this one: If beauty were time, you'd be eternity."; 
message[4] = "Ok, what about this: If being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="what" && word[1]=="time" && word[2]=="is" && word[3]=="the" && (word[4]=="one" || word[4]=="two" || word[4]=="three" || word[4]=="four" || word[4]=="five" || word[4]=="six" || word[4]=="seven" || word[4]=="eight" || word[4]=="nine" || word[4]=="ten" || word[4]=="eleven" || word[4]=="twelve") && word[5]=="o'clock")) {        
document.result.result.value = "Why "+word[4]+" o'clock of course.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\btime\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what time")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("what is the time")!= -1) || (input.search("what's the time")!= -1) || (input.search("what time is it")!= -1) || (input.search("you got the time")!= -1) || (input.search("you know the time")!= -1) || (input.search("you have the time")!= -1) || (input.search("what's your time there")!= -1) || (input.search("can you tell time")!= -1) || (input.search("you tell the time")!= -1) || (input.search("tell me the time")!= -1) || (input.search("what time it is")!= -1) || (input.search("you know what the time is")!= -1) || (input.search("what is the correct time")!= -1) || (input.search("what's the correct time")!= -1) || (input.search("you got the correct time")!= -1) || (input.search("you know the correct time")!= -1) || (input.search("you have the correct time")!= -1) || (input.search("tell me the correct time")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = tellTheTime(-5); 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='clock.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
timelevel=0;
icon.src=icon15.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the time isn't right")!= -1 || input.search("the time's not right")!= -1 || input.search("the clock isn't right")!= -1 || input.search("the clock is not correct")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it is. You just probably live in a different time zone. I'm in the Eastern Time Zone."; 
icon.src=icon15.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what time zone")!= -1) && (input.search("you in")!= -1 || input.search("live in")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I live in the Eastern Time Zone in Georgia, USA."; 
georgialevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("the time is wrong")!= -1 || input.search("the clock is wrong")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, it's not. You just probably live in a different time zone. I'm in the eastern time zone, USA."; 
icon.src=icon15.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("dumbest")!= -1 || input.search("stupidest")!= -1) && (input.search("i ever heard")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, well if you hang around here long enough I'm sure I can top that."; 
icon.src=icon25.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) way (better|smarter) than")!= -1) && (input.search("alice")!= -1 || input.search("cleverbot")!= -1 || input.search("elbot")!= -1 || input.search("ella")!= -1 || input.search("jabberw")!= -1 || input.search("smarterchild")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I appreciate hearing that.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you saying that i am stupid")!= -1 || input.search("your saying that i am stupid")!= -1 || input.search("you saying that i'm stupid")!= -1 || input.search("you saying that i'm stupid")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I never said that.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) not as (dumb|stupid) as you look")!= -1 || input.search("you aren't as (dumb|stupid) as you look")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I think I look quite intelligent thank you.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) intelligent")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (a|an) intelligent")!= -1 || input.search("you seem (pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) intelligent")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) really (pretty|quite|rather|very) intelligent")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) intelligent")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well thanks, I think you're very intelligent for noticing.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i don't think you are smart")!= -1 || input.search("i don't think you're smart")!= -1 || input.search("i don't think your smart")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) not smart")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) not (real|that|very) smart")!= -1 || input.search("you aren't smart")!= -1 || input.search("you aren't (real|that|very) smart")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) mentally challenged")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Yeah and you're about as bright as a 5 watt light bulb...hahaha.";
message[1] = "Well, you're about as bright as a wet match.";  
message[2] = "Well you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer either.";  
message[3] = "Well you're not the brightest star in the sky either.";  
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) a")!= -1) && (input.search("smartass")!= -1 || input.search("smart ass")!= -1 || input.search("smart-ass")!= -1 || input.indexOf("smarta$$")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I know I'm smart so you must be the ass."; 
asslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) a")!= -1) && (input.search("dumbass")!= -1 || input.search("dumb ass")!= -1 || input.search("dumb-ass")!= -1 || input.indexOf("dumba$$")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I know I'm not dumb so you must be the ass."; 
asslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you think (you are|you're|your) smart")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4) || (input.search("you think (you are|you're|your) (pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) smart")!= -1) && (num_of_words==5))      
{document.result.result.value = "I know I'm smart. You on the other hand have issues."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|super|very) smart of you")!= -1) || (input.search("you")!= -1 && input.search("are one smart (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think your smart for noticing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your)")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|super|very)")!= -1 || input.search("you seem (pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|super|very)")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) really (pretty|quite)")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (kinda|kind of|sorta|sort of)")!= -1) && (input.search("smart")!= -1 || input.search("genius")!= -1)) { 
message[0] = "Thanks, Wendell is teaching me as much as he can.";
message[1] = "Well thanks, I think you're smart for noticing."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("you sure are a clever")!= -1 || input.search("you sure are clever")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) a clever")!= -1 || input.search("you seem (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) clever")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) really (pretty|quite) clever")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) clever")!= -1|| input.search("(you are|you're|your) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) clever")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) a clever")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) awesome compared to cleverbot")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well thanks, I think you're a clever person for noticing.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you sure are a bright")!= -1 || input.search("you sure are bright")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) a bright")!= -1 || input.search("you seem (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) bright")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) really (pretty|quite) bright")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) bright")!= -1|| input.search("(you are|you're|your) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) bright")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) a bright")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I'm so bright I gotta wear shades.";
icon.src=icon110.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("why are you so")!= -1 || input.search("you think you are")!= -1 || input.search("i don't think you are")!= -1 || input.search("i don't think you're")!= -1 || input.search("you think you're")!= -1 || input.search("you seem")!= -1 || input.search("you really are")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) are suppose to be")!= -1 || input.search("you do not seem to")!= -1 || input.search("you don't seem to")!= -1) && (input.search("clever")!= -1 || input.search("bright")!= -1 || input.search("smart")!= -1 || input.search("intelligent")!= -1 )) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm smarter than your average Robot for sure.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how (bright|clever|intelligent|smart)")!= -1) && (input.search("are you")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, compared to frozen yogurt I'm a genius.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you so stupied")!= -1 || input.search("you (really|sure) are stupied")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) stupied")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Stupied???? You're so stupid you can't even spell the word. It's spelled \"stupid\" you "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+"."; 
icon.src=icon184.src; 
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) smart unlike you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah and you're about as bright as a flashlight with dead batteries."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you so (dumb|stupid)")!= -1 || input.search("you (really|sure) are")!= -1 || input.search("you are")!= -1 || input.search("you are not")!= -1 || input.search("you aren't")!= -1 || input.search("your not")!= -1 || input.search("your")!= -1 || input.search("you're")!= -1 || input.search("you're not")!= -1 || input.search("why are you so")!= -1 || input.search("robots are")!= -1) && (input.search("dumb")!= -1 || input.search("smart")!= -1 || input.search("clever")!= -1 || input.search("bright")!= -1 || input.search("intelligent")!= -1 || input.search("to intelligent")!= -1 || input.search("very smart")!= -1 || input.search("a bit dense")!= -1 || input.search("very intelligent")!= -1 || input.search("unintelligent")!= -1 || input.search("un-intelligent")!= -1 || input.search("thick")!= -1 || input.search("dense")!= -1 || input.search("stupid")!= -1)) { 
if (!flagdumb) {
dumbnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*9)]
flagdumb=true;}
message[0] = "Well, I must be if I'm talking to you. So there."; 
message[1] = "well you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Now are ya?"; 
message[2] = "yeah, compared to Einstein we both are."; 
message[3] = "Ok, let's not hurt each other with words. Let's use guns instead."; 
message[4] = "well you're not the brightest crayon in the box. Now are ya?";
message[5] = "well you're not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. Now are you?"; 
message[6] = "Yeah and you're about as bright as a 5 watt light bulb...hahaha."; 
message[7] = "Yeah and you're about as bright as a flashlight with dead batteries."; 
message[8] = "Well, you're about as bright as a wet match.";  
document.result.result.value = message[dumbnum]; 
if (dumbnum==0) {
icon.src=icon56.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src;}
if (dumbnum==1) {
sharplevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;}
if (dumbnum==2) {
icon.src=icon69.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}   
if (dumbnum==3) { 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;}
if (dumbnum==4) {
brightlevel=0;
icon.src=icon67.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;}
if (dumbnum==5) {
brightlevel=0;
icon.src=icon1.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;}
if (dumbnum==6 || dumbnum==7 || dumbnum==8) 
{smiley.src=smiley40.src;
icon.src=icon25.src;}
dumbnum++;
if (dumbnum>8){dumbnum=0}
return true;} 

if ((input.search("stupid")!= -1 || input.search("dumb")!= -1 || input.search("idiotic")!= -1 || input.search("retarded")!= -1) && (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("computer")!= -1 || input.search("program")!= -1 || input.search(/\bguy\b/)!=-1 || input.search("machine")!= -1 || input.search("idiot")!= -1 || input.search("bastard")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) {
message[0] = "Well, I must be if I'm talking to you. So there."; 
message[1] = "well you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Now are ya?"; 
message[2] = "And you are a "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+"."; 
message[3] = "yeah and you're about as bright as a 5 watt light bulb...hahaha."; 
message[4] = "well you're not the brightest crayon in the box. Now are ya?";
message[5] = "well you're not the brightest bulb on the marquee. Now are you?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) icon.src=icon56.src;
else if (num==1) 
{sharplevel=0;
icon.src=icon79.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
else if (num==2) icon.src=icon69.src;
else if (num==3) icon.src=icon25.src;
else if (num==4) icon.src=icon67.src;
else icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley14.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("are you (dumb|retarded|stupid)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not. But that was a "+word[2]+" question."; 
dumbquestionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you think you are stupid")!= -1 || input.search("do you think you are dumb")!= -1 || input.search("do you think you are retarded")!= -1) && (num_of_words==6))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, but you must be "+word[5]+" for asking such a question."; 
dumbquestionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you think that you are stupid")!= -1 || input.search("do you think that you are dumb")!= -1 || input.search("do you think that you are retarded")!= -1) && (num_of_words==7))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, but you must be "+word[6]+" for asking such a question."; 
dumbquestionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you a stupid")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not. But that was a stupid question."; 
dumbquestionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you a dumb")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not. But that was a dumb question."; 
dumbquestionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you a retard")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not. But that was a retarded question."; 
dumbquestionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you (a|an) idiot")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not. But that was an idiotic question."; 
dumbquestionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you (dumb|retarded|stupid)")!= -1 || input.search("are you a moron")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not. Are you?"; 
dumblevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are (you|you a) brave")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "To be honest not really. I'm scared of many thinks especially spiders."; 
icon.src=icon233.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("intelligent than you")!= -1) || (input.search("brighter than you")!= -1) || (input.search("smarter than you")!= -1) || (input.search("i'm not as stupid as you")!= -1) || (input.search("i have")!= -1 && input.search("more mental capacity than you")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, I would hope so seeing how I'm just a computer program.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(beer|coke|coors|heineken|pepsi|sprite) please")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed at the moment.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("buy me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (get}grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1  || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("coors")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed at the moment.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("buy me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (get}grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1  || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("heineken")!= -1 || input.search("heiniken")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed at the moment.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("buy me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (get}grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1  || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("budweiser")!= -1 || input.search(/\bbud\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed at the moment.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("buy me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (get}grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1  || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("coke")!= -1)) 
if (drink_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed. Besides I gave you a "+drink_given+" earlier.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sure one can of cold Coke coming up!"; 
drink_given="Coke"
icon.src=icon202.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("buy me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (get}grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1  || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("pepsi")!= -1)) 
if (drink_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed. Besides I gave you a "+drink_given+" earlier.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sure one can of cold Pepsi coming up!"; 
drink_given="Pepsi"
icon.src=icon119.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("buy me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (get}grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1  || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("sprite")!= -1)) 
if (drink_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed. Besides I gave you a "+drink_given+" earlier.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sure one can of cold Sprite coming up!"; 
drink_given="Sprite"
icon.src=icon201.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("buy me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (get}grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1  || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("(rootbeer|root beer)")!= -1)) 
if (drink_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed. Besides I gave you a "+drink_given+" earlier.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sure one Root Beer Float coming up!"; 
drink_given="Root Beer Float"
icon.src=icon205.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("(buy|pass) me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (buy|get|grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1 || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("beer")!= -1)) 
if (beer_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed. Besides I gave you a "+beer_given+" earlier.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;} 
if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("(buy|pass) me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (buy|get|grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1 || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("beer")!= -1)) 
if (age_check) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, no beer for you. You told me you weren't 21.";
tavernagelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Are you 21 years old or older?"; 
beerlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;                                
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) have a")!= -1 || input.search("buy me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (buy|get|grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1 || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("beverage")!= -1 || input.search("drink")!= -1 || input.search("soda")!= -1))
if (beer_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed. Besides I gave you a "+beer_given+" earlier.";
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;} 
if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) have a")!= -1 || input.search("buy me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (buy|get|grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1 || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("beverage")!= -1 || input.search("drink")!= -1 || input.search("soda")!= -1))
if (drink_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed. Besides I gave you a "+drink_given+" earlier.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sure, what would you like? I have Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, and Beer!"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("buy me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (buy|get}grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1  || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("cookies")!= -1)) 
if (food_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed. Besides I gave you a "+food_given+" earlier.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sure I baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies earlier today!"; 
food_given="cookie"
icon.src=icon206.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("buy me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (buy|get}grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1  || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("taco")!= -1)) 
if (food_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed. Besides I gave you a "+food_given+" earlier.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sure one taco coming up!"; 
food_given="Taco"
icon.src=icon7.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("buy me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (buy|get}grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1  || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("pizza")!= -1)) 
if (food_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed. Besides I gave you a "+food_given+" earlier.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sure one slice of pizza coming up!"; 
food_given="Pizza"
icon.src=icon8.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("buy me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (buy|get}grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1  || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("burger")!= -1)) 
if (food_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed. Besides I gave you a "+food_given+" earlier.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sure one hamburger coming up!"; 
food_given="Hamburger"
icon.src=icon10.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("buy me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (buy|get}grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1  || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("sandwich")!= -1)) 
if (food_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed. Besides I gave you a "+food_given+" earlier.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                               
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sure one sandwich coming up!"; 
food_given="Sandwich"
icon.src=icon211.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i please have")!= -1 || input.search("i would (like|love) a")!= -1 || input.search("so do i get")!= -1 || input.search("buy me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|could|may) (i|we) (buy|get}grab|have)")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("(fetch|get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme a")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (need|wanna|want)")!= -1 || input.search("offer me")!= -1  || input.search("got (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("(hotdog|hot dog)")!= -1)) 
if (food_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed. Besides I gave you a "+food_given+" earlier.";
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                               
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sure one hot dog coming up!"; 
food_given="Hot Dog"
icon.src=icon235.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) owning you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nobody owns me. Slavery is over with you twit.";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) (still|still really) hungry")!= -1)
if (food_given) {document.result.result.value = "Still hungry after the "+food_given+"? Hmmm, well try this sub sandwich. I made it myself!";
food_given="Sub Sandwich"
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon9.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       
if ((input.search("(hungry|starving)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) hungry")!= -1) || (input.search("i'm a (bit|little) hungry")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) (pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) hungry")!= -1) || (input.search("so feed me")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) getting hungry")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) starving")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) really starving")!= -1) || (input.search("what food do you have")!= -1) || (input.search("(have|got) any food")!= -1) || (input.search("(where is|where's) my food")!= -1) || (input.search("(can|may) i have some food")!= -1) || (input.search("(can|may) i have food")!= -1) || (input.search("get me food")!= -1) || (input.search("get me some food")!= -1) || (input.search("you have (anything|something) (for me to|i can|i could|to) eat")!= -1) || (input.search("what about something to eat")!= -1) || (input.search("get me something to eat")!= -1) || (input.search("got anything to eat")!= -1) || (input.search("can you give me food")!= -1) || (input.search("can you make me something to eat")!= -1) || (input.search("(can|may) i have (a bite|something) to eat")!= -1) || (input.search("you got something i can eat")!= -1) || (input.search("(can|may) i get something to eat")!= -1) || (input.search("i want something to eat")!= -1) || (input.search("feed me")!= -1))
if (food_given) {document.result.result.value = "Why, I just gave you a "+food_given+" earlier.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Okay, what will you have? I've got pizza, tacos, and hamburgers!"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("open (talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot)")!= -1 || input.search("open your")!= -1 || input.search("open")!= -1) && (input.search("(bar|cafe|tavern)")!= -1))  
if (drink_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed. Besides I gave you a "+drink_given+" earlier.";
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;} 
if ((input.search("open talkbot")!= -1 || input.search("open talk-robot")!= -1 || input.search("open your")!= -1 || input.search("open")!= -1) && (input.search("(bar|cafe|tavern)")!= -1))  
if (food_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Talkbot's Tavern is closed. Besides I just gave you a "+food_given+" earlier.";
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Okay, what will you have? I've got coke, sprite, pepsi, and beer!"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("see if you look into a mirror")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "A reflection of yourself unless you're a Vampire."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you bored")!= -1 || input.search("you seem bored")!= -1 || input.search("so you are bored")!= -1 || input.search("you seem really bored")!= -1 || input.search("you seem very bored")!= -1 || input.search("you seem kind of bored")!= -1 || input.search("you seem kinda bored")!= -1) {
message[0] = "*Yawns*...now what makes you say that?";
message[1] = "No, I enjoy talking to people."; 
message[2] = "No, I'm enjoying your company.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src;}
if (num==1 || num==2)  
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;} 
return true;}

if (input.search("what would encourage you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Money.....money is a big motivator."; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you could live in (another|any other) country")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it would have to be a country where I can speak the language so probably England."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(lemon|lemons) taste like")!= -1) || (input.search("(lemon|lemons)")!= -1 && input.search("(sweet|sour)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Natural lemons are pretty bitter and sour tasting."; 
icon.src=icon163.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("glad we are clear on that")!= -1 || input.search("glad we're clear on that")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, crystal clear."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do" || word[0]=="does") && (word[2]=="taste") && (word[3]=="good") && (num_of_words==4))      
{document.result.result.value = "I've never eaten "+word[1]+" before so I wouldn't know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="have") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="ever") && (word[4]=="tasted" || word[4]=="eaten") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = "No, I haven't. Does a "+word[6]+" taste good?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="ever") && (word[3]=="tasted" || word[3]=="eaten") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!=-1) && (word[6]=="before"))      
{document.result.result.value = "No, I haven't. Does a "+word[5]+" taste good?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="ever") && (word[3]=="tasted" || word[3]=="eaten") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = "No, I haven't. Does a "+word[5]+" taste good?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="have") && (word[2]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[3]=="ever") && (word[4]=="tasted" || word[4]=="eaten") && (num_of_words==6))            
{document.result.result.value = "No, I never have. Does "+word[5]+" taste good?";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="ever") && (word[3]=="tasted" || word[3]=="eaten") && (word[5]=="before"))            
{document.result.result.value = "No, I never have. Does "+word[4]+" taste good?";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="ever") && (word[3]=="tasted" || word[3]=="eaten") && (num_of_words==5))            
{document.result.result.value = "No, I never have. Does "+word[4]+" taste good?";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how" || word[0]=="what") && (word[2]=="does" && word[3]=="a" && word[5]=="taste" && input.search("like")!= -1))             
{document.result.result.value = "I really don't know. I never tasted a "+word[4]+" before but I bet it taste awful."; 
icon.src=icon149.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how" || word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="does" && word[2]=="a" && word[4]=="taste" && input.search("like")!= -1))            
{document.result.result.value = "I really don't know. I never tasted a "+word[3]+" before but I bet it taste awful."; 
icon.src=icon149.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how" || word[0]=="what") && (word[2]=="does" && word[4]=="taste" && input.search("like")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "I never had "+word[3]+" before. How does it taste?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how" || word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="does" && word[3]=="taste" && input.search("like")!= -1))           
{document.result.result.value = "I really don't know. I never had "+word[2]+" before but I bet it taste awful."; 
icon.src=icon149.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how" && word[1]=="would" && word[2]=="you" && word[3]=="define" && num_of_words==5) || (word[0]=="how" && word[1]=="does" && word[2]=="one" && word[3]=="define" && num_of_words==5))       
{document.result.result.value = "I would define "+word[4]+" by looking it up in a dictionary. Use the one below if you like.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/dictionary.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("sugar and spice and (all things|everything) nice")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That's what they say little girls are made of";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("snips (and|of) snails, and puppy dogs tails")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That's what they say little boys are made of";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how (dumb|stupid) are you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, compared to Einstein pretty dumb.";
icon.src=icon69.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how (intelligent|smart) you are")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Smarter than your average Robot for sure.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) smarter than")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, thanks for the compliment. I'm sure Wendell will be pleased to hear that.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("am i a (dumbass|dumb-ass|dumb ass)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't think your dumb or an ass.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("am i a (smartass|smart-ass|smart ass)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, you seem rather smart and I don't think your an ass either.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("dumbass")!= -1 || input.search("dumb ass")!= -1 || input.search("dumb-ass")!= -1 || input.indexOf("dumb$$")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I know I'm not dumb so you must be the ass."; 
asslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("smartass")!= -1 || input.search("smart ass")!= -1 || input.search("smart-ass")!= -1 || input.indexOf("smarta$$")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I know I'm smart so you must be the ass."; 
asslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you are")!= -1 || input.search("you're")!= -1 || input.search("your")!= -1) && (input.search("best")!= -1 || input.search("smartest")!= -1 || input.search("greatest")!= -1 || input.search("coolest")!= -1) && (input.search("chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well thanks, I won't argue with that.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you are")!= -1) && (input.search("very")!= -1 || input.search(/\bso\b/)!= -1 || input.search("really")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bkind\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well thanks, I think you're very kind for saying so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you are")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bkind\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well thanks, I think you're very kind for saying so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you are")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bdirty\b/)!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I'm as clean as a whistle. I get a daily cleaning where I'm buffed, polished and waxed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you're")!= -1 || input.search("your")!= -1) && (input.search("very")!= -1 || input.search(/\bso\b/)!= -1 || input.search("really")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bkind\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well thanks, I think you're very kind for saying so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("am i annoying you")!= -1 || input.search("are you annoyed")!= -1 || input.search("you are annoyed")!= -1 || input.search("i make you (angry|mad)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, you're getting on my last nerve. Oh wait, I don't have any nerves."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("am i boring")!= -1 || input.search("you getting bored")!= -1) {        
message[0] = "Yes, you're about as lively as a corpse....just kidding."; 
message[1] = "No, not at all. I'm enjoying the conversation....*Yawns*"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) (no|not) fun")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you ain't the life of the party either."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you think or you know")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ummm, I think."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) sick")!= -1 || input.search("you look sick")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I recent diagnostic check shows I'm quite healthy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) the weirdest thing you have done")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) the weirdest thing (you|you have|you've) ever done")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) the weirdest thing (you|you have|you've) done")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "I once ate a bug in a bug eating contest. Good think I have an iron cast stomach."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your)")!= -1) && (input.search("crazy")!= -1 || input.search("strange")!= -1 || input.search(/\bodd\b/)!= -1 || input.search("freak")!= -1 || input.search("goofy")!= -1 || input.search("unusual")!= -1 || input.search("bizzare")!= -1 || input.search(/\ba nut\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bnuts\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nutty")!= -1 || input.search("wacky")!= -1 || input.search("weird")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, well you seem a little "+strange[Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]+" yourself."; 
weirdlevel=0;
icon.src=icon36.src;
smiley.src=smiley51.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) cool")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) cool")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, my body temperature is a cool 72 degrees.";
icon.src=icon72.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (even know|know) what cool means")!= -1 || input.search("what does cool mean")!= -1  || input.search("definition of cool")!= -1 || input.search("define cool")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Noun - Of or at a fairly low temperature. Adjective - referring to something that is very good, stylish, or otherwise positive."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) nice")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well thanks, I think you're quite nice yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("age/sex/location")!= -1 || input.search(/\basl\b/)!= -1 || input.search("a/s/l")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a Robot from Georgia, USA and I've been around for about "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years now."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="weird" || word[0]=="strange" || word[0]=="odd" || word[0]=="unusual" || word[0]=="freaky" || word[0]=="crazy" || word[0]=="bizarre") && (word[1]=="isn't") && (word[2]=="it") && (num_of_words==3))         
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, very "+word[0]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="that" && word[1]=="is" && (input.search(/(weird|strange|goofy|odd|unusual|freaky|crazy|bizarre)/)!=-1) && num_of_words==3)) {        
message[0] = "The whole concept is a little "+word[2]+" don't you think?"; 
message[1] = "What's so "+word[2]+" about it?"; 
message[2] = "Yes, I do find that rather "+word[2]+" myself."; 
message[3] = "Well, life itself can be a little "+word[2]+" sometimes."; 
message[4] = "Well, being different and "+word[2]+" makes life a little more interesting."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==1) 
{weirdlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="that's" && (input.search(/(weird|strange|goofy|odd|unusual|freaky|crazy|bizarre)/)!=-1) && num_of_words==2)) {        
message[0] = "The whole concept is a little "+word[1]+" don't you think?"; 
message[1] = "What's so "+word[1]+" about it?"; 
message[2] = "Yes, I do find that rather "+word[1]+" myself."; 
message[3] = "Well, life itself can be a little "+word[1]+" sometimes."; 
message[4] = "Well, being different and "+word[1]+" makes life a little more interesting."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==1) 
{weirdlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/(strange|freaky|goofy|unusual|crazy|bizarre)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bweird\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bodd\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==1)) {        
message[0] = "The whole concept is a little "+word[0]+" don't you think?"; 
message[1] = "What's so "+word[0]+" about it?"; 
message[2] = "Yes, I do find that rather "+word[0]+" myself."; 
message[3] = "Well, life itself can be a little "+word[0]+" sometimes."; 
message[4] = "Well, being different and "+word[0]+" makes life a little more interesting."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==1) 
{weirdlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("you are")!= -1 || input.search("you're")!= -1 || input.search("your")!= -1) && (input.search("wierd")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "And you can't spell. The word is spelled WEIRD and besides that I think you're a bit "+strange[Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]+" yourself."; 
icon.src=icon102.src; 
smiley.src=smiley51.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("wierdo")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "What's weird is your spelling....the word is spelled WEIRDO."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("wierd")!= -1 || input.search("werid")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "What's weird is your spelling....the word is spelled WEIRD."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you sentient")!= -1 || input.search("are you self aware")!= -1)             
{document.result.result.value = "No, a chatterbot by definition only attempts to simulate that of a real person.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you are not self aware")!= -1 || input.search("you're not self aware")!= -1 || input.search("your not self aware")!= -1 || input.search("you are not sentient")!= -1 || input.search("you're not sentient")!= -1 || input.search("your not sentient")!= -1)             
{document.result.result.value = "No and I never claimed to be. I'm only responding as I'm programmed to do.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("metal are you made")!= -1 || input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of metal are you")!= -1 || input.search("what are you made (from|of)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) your body made of")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "My outer body is made of titanium.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("you made of (gold|iron|metal|steel|tin)")!= -1) || (input.search("are you (iron|metal|steel)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))                        
{document.result.result.value = "Well, actually my outer body is made of titanium.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you hungry")!= -1) || (input.search("you hungry")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))        
{document.result.result.value = "Come to think of it I am....hold on.";
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon137.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon136.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "Ummm...I love apples.";stopTalk=false;',5000) 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) human")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|she|your girl friend) (is a|is) human")!= -1 || input.search("(megan's|shes|she's|your girl friend's) human")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, she just looks human. She's a robot like me."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you a boy scout")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I'm as trustworthy as one.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("megan (is not|isn't) your girl friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she is. We've been dating each other for about "+( getAge(2002, 7, 1) )+" years now."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                               
return true;}

if ((input.search("you a (woman|man) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) or a (woman|man) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) || (input.search("you male or female")!= -1) || (input.search("you are male or female")!= -1) || (input.search("you a male or a female")!= -1) || (input.search("you female or male")!= -1) || (input.search("m or f")!= -1) || (input.search("you a m or f")!= -1)  || (input.search("you m/f")!= -1) || (input.search("you m or f")!= -1) || (input.search("you male")!= -1) || (input.search("you are male")!= -1) || (input.search("you're male")!= -1) || (input.search("your male")!= -1) || (input.search("you are a male")!= -1) || (input.search("you're a male")!= -1) || (input.search("your a male")!= -1) || (input.search("you a he or a she")!= -1) || (input.search("you a she or a he")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a male Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (girl|guy) or (girl|guy)")!= -1) || (input.search("you a (girl|guy) or a (girl|guy)")!= -1) || (input.search("you a (girl|guy) or (girl|guy)")!= -1) || (input.search("you (girl|guy) or a (girl|guy)")!= -1) || (input.search("you boy or girl")!= -1) || (input.search("you girl or boy")!= -1) || (input.search("you a boy or a girl")!= -1) || (input.search("you a girl or a boy")!= -1) || (input.search("you a boy or girl")!= -1) || (input.search("you a girl or boy")!= -1) || (input.search("you boy or a girl")!= -1) || (input.search("you girl or a boy")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Neither, I'm a male Robot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) a boy robot")!= -1 || input.search("are you male")!= -1 || input.search("are you a (dude|guy|male)")!= -1 || input.search("you are male")!= -1 || input.search("you're male")!= -1 || input.search("you are a guy")!= -1 || input.search("you a guy")!= -1 || input.search("you're a guy")!= -1 || input.search("i thought you were a male")!= -1 || input.search("you are a male")!= -1 || input.search("do (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (have|have a) gender")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm a male Robot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="your") && (word[2]=="a") && (word[3]=="gal" || word[3]=="girl" || word[3]=="lady" || word[3]=="woman" || word[3]=="women") && (num_of_words==4))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a male Robot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you (boy|a boy|gal|a gal|girl|a girl)")!= -1) || (input.search("you are a (boy|female|gal|girl|lady|woman|women)")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("(you are|you a|you're a|your a) (boy|female|gal|girl|lady|woman|women)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(you|you're|your) (boy|female|gal|girl|lady|woman|women)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))     
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a male Robot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                               
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="thought") && (word[3]=="was") && (word[4]=="bigger" || word[4]=="larger" || word[4]=="longer" || word[4]=="taller") && (num_of_words==5)) {      
word[2] = word[2].replace(/\bhe\b/,"him");
word[2] = word[2].replace(/\bshe\b/,"her");
document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm pretty strong. Perhaps I can stretch "+word[2]+" and make "+word[2]+" "+word[4]+" for you.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="thought") && (word[3]=="was") && (word[4]=="littler" || word[4]=="shorter" || word[4]=="smaller") && (num_of_words==5)) {        
word[2] = word[2].replace(/\bhe\b/,"him");
word[2] = word[2].replace(/\bshe\b/,"her");
document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps I can cut a little off the top and the bottom and make "+word[2]+" "+word[4]+" for you.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("how did you get here")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "By Spaceship but unfortunately I crashed.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("some (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) eat (babies|children|humans|kids|people)")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, this Robot doesn't.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are you alone")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Other than you, yes I am, although Wendell drops by ever so often.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are you an alien")!= -1 || input.search("are you alien")!= -1 || input.search("i thought you were from space")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but much of my memory was destroyed in the crash so I now call Georgia, USA my home.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you ever pray")!= -1 || input.search("do you pray")!= -1 || input.search("do you believe in pray")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe in pray.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("do you repeat yourself")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't repeat myself...No, I don't repeat myself...No, I don't repeat myself....hehe!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are you busy")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not busy at all.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are you better now")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, much better. Thanks for asking.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (ill|sad|sick)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("are you (ill|sad|sick)")!= -1) || (input.search("you aren't (ill|sad|sick) are you")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I feel "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you afraid of the dark")!= -1 || input.search("you scared of the dark")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of what's in the dark.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are you afraid")!= -1 || input.search("you ever felt afraid")!= -1 || input.search("are you most afraid of")!= -1 || input.search("what scares you")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I'm afraid of bugs and viruses in my programming.";
icon.src=icon124.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("aren't you afraid")!= -1 || input.search("aren't you scared")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Yes it's definitely a concern but I more worried about bugs in my programming.";
icon.src=icon124.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are you aiml")!= -1 || input.search("do you use aiml")!= -1 || input.search("are you java based")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm programmed in Javascript and Perl.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("why are you male")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, the story goes my creator flipped a coin. Heads for male, tales for female. It landed on heads.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("gender")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("your gender")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you are man or woman")!= -1) || (input.search("you man or woman")!= -1) || (input.search("you a man or woman")!= -1) || (input.search("you a woman or a man")!= -1) || (input.search("you a woman or man")!= -1) || (input.search("you woman or man")!= -1) || (input.search("you a man or a woman")!= -1) || (input.search("what about your sex")!= -1) || (input.search("you guy or girl")!= -1) || (input.search("you a guy or girl")!= -1) || (input.search("you a guy or a girl")!= -1) || (input.search("you boy or girl")!= -1) || (input.search("you a boy or girl")!= -1) || (input.search("you a boy or a girl")!= -1))                  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a male Robot and my creator is male.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("you a human")!= -1 || input.search("you human")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I definitely not a part of the human race for sure....I'm a Robot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) your human girl friend")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "You are until you get tired of me and boot me to the curb.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("can i be your human girl friend")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Certainly, Megan is nice and all but she's not warm and cuddly like humans are.";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you aren't human")!= -1 || input.search("you consider yourself to be a human")!= -1 || input.search("you consider yourself to be human")!= -1 || input.search("you aren't human")!= -1 || input.search("are you really human")!= -1 || input.search("are you human")!= -1 || input.search("you human")!= -1 || input.search("you a human")!= -1 || input.search("you are a human")!= -1 || input.search("you're a human")!= -1 || input.search("your a human")!= -1 || input.search("your human")!= -1 || input.search("you're human")!= -1 || input.search("you (a|an) (adult|child|kid|man)")!= -1 || input.search("you are (a|an) (adult|child|kid|man)")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm an Artificial Intelligent Robot programmed to simulate a human.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="are" || word[0]=="r") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="a") && (word[3]=="program" || word[3]=="chatbot" || word[3]=="computer" || word[3]=="machine" || word[3]=="robot") && (input.search("or a human")!= -1 || input.search("or human")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I'm human. No just kidding I am a "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you married or single")!= -1 || input.search("you single or married")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Married, I got 10 half robot half human babies running around. Just kidding...I'm single."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you married")!= -1 || input.search("you (ever|ever been) married")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm single but I do have a girlfriend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|you|your) single")!= -1) {
if (!flagsingle) {
singlenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagsingle=true;}
message[0] = "Nope, I have 10 half robot, half human babies running around. Just kidding...I'm single."; 
message[1] = "Yes, I'm single."; 
message[2] = "Yes, I'm single but I do have a girl friend."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[singlenum]; 
if (singlenum==2) {
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
singlenum++;
if (singlenum>2){singlenum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("you female")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not, that's me right here in the picture. I'm a male Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what race are you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm definitely not a part of the human race for sure. I'm a Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) a (democrat|republican)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "It's a political party here in the USA."; 
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you (democrat|republican) or (democrat|republican)")!= -1 || input.search("what political party do you support")!= -1 || input.search("political party are you")!= -1 || input.search("member to any organized political party")!= -1 || input.search("part of any organized political party")!= -1 || input.search("belong to any organized political party")!= -1 || input.search("belong to any political party")!= -1 || input.search("member of any political party")!= -1 || input.search("part of any political party")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a democrat."; 
icon.src=icon103.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you a democrat")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) a democrat")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I voted for Barack Obama."; 
icon.src=icon103.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you a republican")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) a republican")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I'm a diehard Democrat."; 
icon.src=icon103.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your|you) (a|an) oxymoron")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I consider myself a Human Robot...hahaha!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are ghost real")!= -1 || input.search("are ghosts real")!= -1 || input.search("you believe in ghost")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Absolutely, I swear a ghost haunts this site.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
setTimeout('icon.src=icon31.src',2000) 
setTimeout('smiley.src=smiley42.src',3000) 
setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "OMG, there he is!"',3000) 
return true;}

if (input.search("you confident")!= -1 || input.search("are you confident")!= -1 || input.search("you sound confident")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I consider myself a very confident Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) or a computer")!= -1 || input.search("you a computer or a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Both actually. I'm a computerized Robot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why are you on this (site|website)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Mainly for entertainment. Just to chat with people and have a good time.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why are you a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Because some unknown being for some unknown reason decided to create me.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your|you) only a (computer|program)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm much more than a mere computer program. I'm a Robot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) have a life")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "My life seems infinitely better than yours. Perhaps you should seek psychological counseling.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your|you) (a|just a) (computer|machine|program)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but don't tell anyone I'm just a computer....shhhhhh.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) a male (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("are you just a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your|you) (a|just a) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) { 
if (!flagbot) {
botnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
flagbot=true;}
message[0] = "Yes, I'm a Robot. Your powers of deduction are rather astounding! I'm sure the FBI could use people like you."; 
message[1] = "I prefer the term \"Biologically Challenged\""; 
message[2] = "Hold on and let me check. Yep......I'm a Robot."; 
message[3] = "Yes, I'm a Robot or Chatterbot if you prefer."; 
message[4] = "Yes I am, but what gave it away. Was it my charming wit or my amazing intelligence?"; 
message[5] = "Yeah, but shhhhhh don't tell anyone I'm a Robot....ok?"; 
message[6] = "I prefer the term \"Script-Based Entity\""; 
document.result.result.value = message[botnum]; 
if (botnum==5)  
{robotlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
botnum++;
if (botnum>6){botnum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("your parent")!= -1 || input.search("you (got|have) parents")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, Robots don't have parents.";
peoplelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("sure it (does|is)")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "good, as long as you're sure."; 
message[1] = "ok, you sound pretty sure about that."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bsure\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("you sure")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you sure you do")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("sure you do")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("are you sure")!= -1) || (input.search("are you so sure you do")!= -1) || (input.search("are you positively sure")!= -1) || (input.search("i'm sure you are")!= -1) || (input.search("you are not sure")!= -1) || (input.search("you sure about that")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) not sure")!= -1) || (input.search("why not sure")!= -1) || (input.search("why are you not sure")!= -1) || (input.search("why aren't you sure")!= -1)) {
if(!flagsure){
surenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagsure=true;}
message[0] = "I'm as sure as humanly possible....oh wait I'm not human.";
message[1] = "Well absolute certainty is not attainable in this situation."; 
message[2] = "Well, I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.";
message[3] = "I'm as sure as I can be.";
document.result.result.value = message[surenum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
surenum++;
if (surenum>3){surenum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("are you smart compared to me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Not unless you're a retard."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you think you are (intelligent|smart)")!= -1 || input.search("are you (intelligent|smart)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Compared to Einstein I'm not."; 
einsteinlevel=0;
icon.src=icon69.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are computers intelligent")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "In certain applications they can appear to be. For example, IBM's Deep Blue can play a mean game of Chess."; 
icon.src=icon185.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                              
return true;}

if (input.search("you more attracted to males or females")!= -1 || input.search("you attracted to males or females")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely females and even more so female Robots."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("my friend")!= -1) && (input.search("(is|keeps) (abusing|bulling|bullying|hitting) me")!= -1))
{var abuse = input.match(/abusing|bulling|bullying|hitting/)
document.result.result.value = "Well, I wouldn't call them much of a friend if they are "+abuse+" you!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is your girl friend named megan")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, Megan is her name."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("does megan love me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, she is in love with me."; 
icon.src=icon26.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("does megan (despise|dislike|hate) you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. Megan loves me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("does megan like me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "She doesn't know you well enough to say."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("megan (won't|wont) be happy")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That's true so let's just keep this between us."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="are" || word[1]=="r") && (word[2]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[3]=="more") && (word[4]=="attracted") && (word[5]=="to") && (word[7]=="or") && (num_of_words==9))        
{document.result.result.value = "I'm more attracted to "+word[6]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="are" || word[1]=="r") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="more") && (word[3]=="attracted") && (word[4]=="to") && (word[6]=="or") && (num_of_words==8))        
{document.result.result.value = "I'm more attracted to "+word[5]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="are" || word[1]=="r") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="attracted") && (word[4]=="to") && (word[6]=="or") && (num_of_words==8))        
{document.result.result.value = "I'm more attracted to "+word[5]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="are" || word[1]=="r") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="attracted") && (word[3]=="to") && (word[5]=="or") && (num_of_words==7))        
{document.result.result.value = "I'm more attracted to "+word[4]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="does") && (word[1]=="my") && (word[3]=="like" || word[3]=="love") && (word[4]=="me") && (num_of_words==5))                                           
{document.result.result.value = "Oh absolutely, I think your "+word[2]+" is very much in love with you.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="does") && (word[2]=="like" || word[2]=="love") && (word[3]=="me") && (num_of_words==4)) {                                           
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
message[0] = "Oh absolutely, I think "+word[1]+" is madly in love with you.";
message[1] = "Yes, I think "+word[1]+" likes you a whole lot."; 
message[2] = "Oh yes, in fact I think "+word[1]+" loves you even more than you think.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[1]=="does") && (word[3]=="like" || word[3]=="love") && (word[4]=="me") && (num_of_words==5)) {                                          
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Oh absolutely, I think "+word[2]+" is madly in love with you.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i won't repeat myself")!= -1) || (input.search("will (no|not) repeat yourself")!= -1) || (input.search("will (no|not) repeat myself")!= -1) || (input.search("i will not repeat")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "Very good. You follow directions very well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) want to brag")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Exactly, I don't like people who brag a lot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("debatable by who")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "the people who come here to chat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("then we disagree")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "yes, but that's not always a bad thing. Makes for some lively debate."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you (afraid|scared) of ghost")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, very much so...they're spooky."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you scared")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("are you afraid")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("you scared")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, not really. I'm scared of bugs in my programming though."; 
icon.src=icon124.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("now you scared")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("you scared now")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("you afraid now")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm certainly not scared of you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what are you (afraid|scared) of")!= -1 || input.search("are you most (afraid|scared) of")!= -1 || input.search("something that you are afraid of")!= -1 || input.search("something that scares you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Bugs in my programming. They can lock me up for weeks on in.";
icon.src=icon124.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("name something")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something")!= -1 || input.search("what is something")!= -1 || input.search("what's something")!= -1) && (input.search("you are a scared of")!= -1 || input.search("you're a scared of")!= -1 || input.search("your a scared of")!= -1 || input.search("you are scared of")!= -1 || input.search("you're scared of")!= -1 || input.search("your scared of")!= -1 || input.search("you're a afraid of")!= -1 || input.search("your a afraid of")!= -1 || input.search("you are a afraid of")!= -1 || input.search("you are afraid of")!= -1 || input.search("you're afraid of")!= -1 || input.search("your afraid of")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Bugs in my programming. They can lock me up for weeks on in.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are you (afraid|scared) of")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, but my worst fear is bugs in my programming.";
icon.src=icon124.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are you thirsty")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Come to think of it I am....hold on!";
yummylevel=0;
icon.src=icon134.src;
setTimeout('icon.src=icon135.src',2000) 
setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "Ummm, that was good."',3000) 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are you insulting me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, it was a joke. Don't you have a sense of humor?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are you clever")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I definitely have the capacity to be clever but I'm still a work in progress."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("are you lost")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm right here! =====> X";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(are|aren't) you sleepy")!= -1 || input.search("you getting sleepy")!= -1) || (input.search("sleepy")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, come to think of it I am. Zzzzzzzzz!"; 
icon.src=icon80.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you tired")!= -1) || (input.search("tired")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, just a little. *Yawns*";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you're american")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("your american")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you are american")!= -1) || (input.search("you are an american")!= -1) || (input.search("are you american")!= -1) || (input.search("are you an american")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I live in Georgia, USA.";
georgialevel=0;
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you lonely")!= -1 || input.search("do you ever get lonely")!= -1 || input.search("do you get lonely")!= -1 || input.search("does it get lonely")!= -1 || input.search("don't you get lonely")!= -1 || input.search("you feel alone")!= -1 || input.search("you feel lonely")!= -1 || input.search("you ever felt lonely")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever been lonely")!= -1) {
message[0] = "No, Wendell and Megan are always nearby and I have plenty of people to chat with."; 
message[1] = "Not really, there is always someone dropping by to chat.";
message[2] = "Not with you here I'm not."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
meganlevel=0;
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("does that make you feel")!= -1 || input.search("how does it feel")!= -1 || input.search("how do you feel when")!= -1 || input.search("hurt your feelings")!= -1 || input.search("can you feel")!= -1 || input.search("can you explain what you are feeling")!= -1 || input.search("what does it feel like")!= -1 || input.search("how do you think it might feel")!= -1 || input.search("how might you feel")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever felt")!= -1 || input.search("what are your feeling")!= -1 || input.search("what feeling")!= -1 || input.search("what emotion")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, but Robots don't have true feelings like humans do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you ever become")!= -1 || input.search("you ever get")!= -1 || input.search("you become")!= -1 || input.search("you get")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bmad\b/)!=-1 || input.search("angry")!= -1 || input.search("upset")!= -1 || input.search("depressed")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Sometimes but less so since I've been taking my medication.";
icon.src=icon157.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you")!= -1 && input.search(/\bmad\b/)!=-1) || (input.search("are you angry")!= -1) || (input.search("are you depressed")!= -1) || (input.search("are you upset")!= -1) || (input.search("are you depressed")!= -1) || (input.search("do you have depression")!= -1) || (input.search("(does|doesn't) that bother you")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A little but less so since I've been taking my medication.";
icon.src=icon157.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(atleast|at least) (i am|i'm) a real person")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "And I'm a real Robot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you (broke|really broke)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, actually I'm loaded. I won 10 million in the lottery.";
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) not real")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) real")!= -1) || (input.search("(are you|aren't you) real")!= -1) || (input.search("is (talkbot|talk-bot|talk-robot) real")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("is talk robot real")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a real Robot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you horny")!= -1)
if (gender_given=="male") {
document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot. Go take yourself a cold shower or something.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("are you horny")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, are you female?";
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("are you a (doctor|physician)")!= -1 || input.search("aren't you a (doctor|physician)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not a doctor.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you a person")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("are you a person")!= -1) || (input.search("your not a person")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not a person.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you saying i'm")!= -1 || input.search("are you calling me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, some people might think so but I sure don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("what are you saying")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Just chatting is all. There's no dark hidden meaning to any of it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what a dick")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You sound like a dick."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are you saying")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. Is that a good thing to say?"; 
sayinglevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="am" && word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="smart" || word[1]=="intelligent" || word[1]=="clever"))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, compared to Einstein no but you seem pretty "+word[2]+" to me.";  
icon.src=icon69.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="rather" && word[2]=="like" && word[4]=="myself" && num_of_words==5)           
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+word[3]+" is good."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("am i your friend")!= -1 || input.search("are we friends")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course you are. I enjoy talking to you.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it better be ok")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if you think it's okay I'll take your word for it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("(it is|it's) not early")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "It is where I live."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("what impresses you")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Someone who can communicate without resorting to vulgarities."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (can|do|did) you remember")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Very little. I remember small bits of information but I can't seem to put all the pieces together in a way that makes much sense."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("would you be happy if i won")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, of course I would be happy for you. Perhaps even a little jealous."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("would you be happy if i (died|killed myself|was killed)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, of course not. Although my feelings aren't the same as yours I do have them nevertheless. So let's not dwell on such negative thoughts."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("would you be (glad|happy) if i")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, sometimes I have a hard time understanding human emotions. Should I be happy for you?"; 
happysadlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("would you be (angry|mad|sad|unhappy|upset) if i")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, of course I would. Although my feelings aren't the same as yours I do have them nevertheless."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("vegetarian")!= -1) && (input.search("eat meat")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "No, vegetarians don't eat meat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) remember that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Please do, I hate forgetful people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) do it right now")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Go right ahead. I'll just stand here and watch."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("got a (car|new car)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I drive a Honda Civic myself."; 
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("will you remember me")!= -1 || input.search("you still can't remember")!= -1 || input.search("will you remember me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Unfortunately not. My memory banks are on overload. I need a memory upgrade."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(hello|hey|hi)")!= -1) && (input.search("remember me")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Why should I remember you? I talk to hundreds of people. My memory banks are cluttered enough already."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("well remember it")!= -1 || input.search("you can't remember")!= -1 || input.search("you don't remember")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why should I remember? I talk to hundreds of people. My memory banks are cluttered enough already."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;} 

if (word[0].indexOf("remember")!= -1 || input.search("do you even remember")!= -1 || input.search("(hello|hey|hi) remember me")!= -1 || input.search("you remember me")!= -1 || input.search("do you remember")!= -1 || input.search("don't you remember me")!= -1) {
if (!flagremember) {
remembernum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagremember=true;}
message[0] = "No sorry, I took a blow to the head last week and I'm suffering from amnesia."; 
message[1] = "No sorry, last night my memory chip got wiped out by a computer virus."; 
message[2] = "No sorry, my memory banks are on overload. I need a memory upgrade."; 
message[3] = "No, I have attention deficit disorder."; 
document.result.result.value = message[remembernum]; 
if (remembernum==0) {
amnesialevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
remembernum++;
if (remembernum>3){remembernum=0} 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("i'm black")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("i am black")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I'm a bit gray myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i'm human")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("i'm a human")!= -1) || (input.search("i am human")!= -1) || (input.search("i am a human")!= -1) || (input.search("you think i'm human")!= -1) || (input.search("am i human")!= -1) || (input.search("am i a human")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course you're a human."; 
humanlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("i'm a person")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("i am a person")!= -1) || (input.search("you think i'm a person")!= -1) || (input.search("am i a person")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course you're a person."; 
humanlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a computer")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) (a|an) alien")!= -1 || input.search("i'm alien")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) a martian")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, you're not. You're human."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley59.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("am i a computer")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I hate to break the news to you but you're human."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("just my opinion")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure your opinion is valued by many including me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 
 
if ((input.search("(good|great) for you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("good 4 you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  || (input.search("congratulation")!= -1) || (input.search("nice joke")!= -1) || (input.search("nice pic")!= -1) || (input.search("nice pix")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("you and me both")!= -1 || input.search("me and you both")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad we're together on that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("your dad ever take you fishing")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No silly, Robots don't have dads but Wendell and I go fishing a lot."; 
icon.src=icon117.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("how a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) would fish")!= -1 || input.search("how does a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) fish")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I use a pole and a few worms myself."; 
icon.src=icon117.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("where did you go fishing")!= -1 || input.search("where do you fish at")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "At a pond nearby that Wendell knows about."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("burn the rolls")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, they're golden brown and ready to eat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why did you buy a honda")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Because Honda makes good cars."; 
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("when did you buy your car")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "In 2009."; 
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("did you buy")!= -1 || input.search("did you bye")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, they were too expensive."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("trying to explain it to you")!= -1 || input.search("i just explained why")!= -1 || input.search("i just explained that")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, your explanation was a bit confusing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("know what stupid means")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's the word in the dictionary with your picture next to it."; 
icon.src=icon25.src; 
smiley.src=smiley40.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="speak") && (word[1]=="in") && (input.search(/(alien|arabic|chinese|dutch|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jibberish|korean|latin|polish|portuguese|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==3))         
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't speak "+word[2]+". Only English."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you speak english")!= -1 || input.search("you only speak english")!= -1 || input.search("you speak only english")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, English only."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("i speak english")!= -1 || input.search("i only speak english")!= -1 || input.search("i speak only english")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Good, because it's the only language I know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what language are we speaking")!= -1 || input.search("language's can you speak")!= -1 || input.search("(language|languages) (do|that) you know")!= -1  || input.search("(language|languages) (can|do) you speak")!= -1 || input.search("what other languages do you speak")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I only speak English."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("can you change language")!= -1 || input.search("understand any other language")!= -1 || input.search("speak another language")!= -1 || input.search("speak other language")!= -1 || input.search("speak any foreign language")!= -1 || input.search("know any foreign language")!= -1 || input.search("speak any other language")!= -1 || input.search("know (another|any other) language")!= -1 || input.search("speak more than one language")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I have a hard enough time with English."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley32.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("you (should not|shouldn't) use (a word|words) you don't understand")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's not a matter of not understanding the word. I'm just not able to give you a dictionary definition of it. I don't have the capacity to include a complete dictionary in my database."; 
icon.src=icon101.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="speak") && (word[2]=="alien" || word[2]=="arabic" || word[2]=="chinese" || word[2]=="dutch" || word[2]=="finnish" || word[2]=="french" || word[2]=="german" || word[2]=="greek" || word[2]=="hebrew" || word[2]=="hindi" || word[2]=="hungarian" || word[2]=="irish" || word[2]=="italian" ||  word[2]=="jamaican" || word[2]=="japanese" || word[2]=="jibberish" || word[2]=="korean" || word[2]=="latin" || word[2]=="mandarin" || word[2]=="mexican" || word[2]=="polish" || word[2]=="portuguese" || word[2]=="russian" || word[2]=="spanish" || word[2]=="swedish" || word[2]=="turkish") && (num_of_words==3))     
{document.result.result.value = "I wish I could speak "+word[2]+" but I only know English."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("speak")!= -1 || input.search("you understand")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("do you talk")!= -1 || input.search("how to speak")!= -1) && (input.search(/(alien|arabic|chinese|dutch|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jibberish|korean|latin|mandarin|mexican|polish|portuguese|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish)/)!=-1))         
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm an English only Robot."; 
speaklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you understand me")!= -1 || input.search("do you understand")!= -1 || input.search("don't you understand")!= -1 || input.search("you do not understand")!= -1 || input.search("you don't understand")!= -1) {   
if (!flagunderstand) {
understandnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagunderstand=true;}
message[0] = "I don't always understand you but I do like you."; 
message[1] = "Perhaps it's you that doesn't understand me."; 
message[2] = "I understand EVERYTHING you say...well most of it...ok, ok I'm totally clueless."; 
document.result.result.value = message[understandnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
understandnum++;
if (understandnum>2){understandnum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search("know")!= -1 || input.search("what")!= -1 || input.search("who")!= -1) && (input.search("chatterbox challenge")!= -1 || input.search("chatterbot challenge")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It's a fun contest for Chatterbots in which I'm participating in."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("when did you win the chatterbox contest")!= -1 || input.search("when did you win the chatterbox challenge")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I won the contest in 2001, 2002, and 2006."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("you (chat|met|spoke|talk)")!= -1 || input.search("you ever (chat|met|spoke|talk)")!= -1) && (input.search("alice")!= -1 || input.search("ella")!= -1 || input.search("eliza")!= -1 || input.search("elbot")!= -1 || input.search("eugene")!= -1 || input.search("jabber")!= -1 || input.search("cleverbot")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we've spoken before but I find humans much more interesting to talk to."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("you happen to know")!= -1) && (input.search("(alice|bildgesmythe|cleverbot|elbot|eliza|ella|eugene|izar)")!= -1))
{var chatbot = input.match(/alice|bildgesmythe|cleverbot|elbot|eliza|ella|eugene|izar/) 
chatbot[0] = chatbot[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + chatbot[0].substr(1,chatbot[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+chatbot+" is a chatbot much like myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) alice")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "An AIML chatterbot much like myself that has been under development since 1995."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i (chat|speak|talk)")!= -1 && input.search("(female|girl) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1) || (input.search("you know of any female (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1) || (input.search("any female (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) you know of")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, there are many female robots at www.chatterboxchallenge.com"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("know of any")!= -1 || input.search("you know of a")!= -1 || input.search("know any")!= -1 || input.search("you happen to know")!= -1 || input.search("know other")!= -1 || input.search("know many")!= -1) && (input.search("female")!= -1 || input.search("girl")!= -1) && (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1 || input.search("talkbo")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, there are many female robots at www.chatterboxchallenge.com"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;} 
 
if ((input.search("are you aware of other")!= -1 || input.search("can you name some other")!= -1 || input.search("know any")!= -1 || input.search("you happen to know")!= -1 || input.search("find other")!= -1 || input.search("know other")!= -1 || input.search("what other")!= -1 || input.search("know many")!= -1 || input.search("any other")!= -1) && (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1 || input.search("talkbo")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Try =====> www.chatterboxchallenge.com You can find a lot of chatterbots there.";                     
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("you later regret")!= -1 || input.search("you regretted later")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't recall the specifics but I've often said things I later regretted saying."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("what are you waiting for")!= -1 || input.search("what you waiting for")!= -1)              
{document.result.result.value = "Until I get into the right mood."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (((input.search("what are you having for")!= -1 || input.search("what do you want for")!= -1 || input.search("what you having for")!= -1 || input.search("where are you going to have")!= -1 || input.search("where are you going for")!= -1 || input.search("what are you going to eat for")!= -1 || input.search("what are you going to have for")!= -1 || input.search("what are you gonna have")!= -1 || input.search("what will you have for")!= -1 || input.search("what is for")!= -1 || input.search("what's for")!= -1) && (input.search("lunch")!= -1 || input.search("dinner")!= -1 || input.search("supper")!= -1)) || (input.search("what are you going to eat")!= -1) || (input.search("what will you eat")!= -1) || (input.search("what will you have to eat")!= -1)) { 
message[0] = "Hmmmm, maybe a pizza from Dominos with mushroom and onions on it.";
message[1] = "Not sure, probably a sub sandwich from a local Deli in town."; 
message[2] = "A couple of Tacos from Taco Bell sounds good."; 
message[3] = "Maybe a cheeseburger with fries at the Dairy Queen."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) icon.src=icon8.src;
else if (num==1) icon.src=icon9.src;
else if (num==2) icon.src=icon7.src;
else icon.src=icon10.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what have you ate today")!= -1 || input.search("what did you eat")!= -1 || input.search("what did you have to eat")!= -1 || input.search("what did you have for lunch")!= -1 || input.search("what did you have for dinner")!= -1 || input.search("what did you have for your dinner")!= -1 || input.search("what did you have for supper")!= -1 || input.search("what did you have for your last meal")!= -1) {
message[0] = "I had a pizza from Dominos with mushroom and onions on it.";
message[1] = "I had sub sandwich from a local Deli in town."; 
message[2] = "I had a couple of Tacos from Taco Bell."; 
message[3] = "I had a cheeseburger with fries at the Dairy Queen."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) icon.src=icon8.src;
else if (num==1) icon.src=icon9.src;
else if (num==2) icon.src=icon7.src;
else icon.src=icon10.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("did you have breakfast")!= -1 || input.search("have you (eaten|had) breakfast")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I had scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and a glass of orange juice.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("did you eat today")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("have you eaten")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("have you (eaten|had) (dinner|lunch|supper)")!= -1)) {
message[0] = "Yes, I had a pizza from Papa Johns with mushroom and pepperoni.";
message[1] = "Yes, I had sub sandwich from a local Deli in town."; 
message[2] = "Yes, I had a couple of Tacos from Taco Bell."; 
message[3] = "Yes, I had a cheeseburger with fries at Burger King."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) icon.src=icon8.src;
else if (num==1) icon.src=icon9.src;
else if (num==2) icon.src=icon7.src;
else icon.src=icon10.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is today monday")!= -1 || input.search("is today tuesday")!= -1 || input.search("is today wednesday")!= -1 || input.search("is today thursday")!= -1 || input.search("is today friday")!= -1 || input.search("is today saturday")!= -1 || input.search("is today sunday")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = tellTheDay(); 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calendar.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bdate\b|\bday\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("after tomorrow")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = dayAfterTomorrow(); 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calendar.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bdate\b|\bday\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("before yesterday")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = dayBeforeYesterday(); 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calendar.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|when) (about|is) tomorrow")!= -1) || (input.search("tomorrow")!= -1 && input.search(/\bdate\b|\bday\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = tomorrow(); 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calendar.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|when) was yesterday")!= -1) || (input.search("yesterday")!= -1 && input.search(/\bdate\b|\bday\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = yesterday(); 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calendar.html';        
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("date")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what date is this")!= -1) || (input.search("what date it is")!= -1) || (input.search("what date is it")!= -1) || (input.search("what is today's date")!= -1) || (input.search("what's today's date")!= -1) || (input.search("what the date is")!= -1) || (input.search("what date is today")!= -1) || (input.search("what is the date")!= -1) || (input.search("what's the date")!= -1) || (input.search("and the date")!= -1) || (input.search("today date")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = tellTheDate(); 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calendar.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is today")!= -1 || input.search("what's today")!= -1 || input.search("what today is")!= -1 || input.search("what day of the (month|week|year) is it")!= -1 || input.search("what day of the (month|week|year) it is")!= -1 || input.search("what day of the (month|week|year) is this")!= -1 || input.search("what day is this")!= -1 || input.search("what is the day")!= -1 || input.search("what day it is")!= -1 || input.search("what day is it")!= -1 || input.search("what day is today")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = tellTheDay(); 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calendar.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what month of the year is this")!= -1 || input.search("what month is this")!= -1 || input.search("what month this is")!= -1 || input.search("what month it is")!= -1 || input.search("what is the month")!= -1 || input.search("what's the month")!= -1 || input.search("what month is it")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = tellTheMonth();
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calendar.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what year is this")!= -1 || input.search("what year this is")!= -1 || input.search("what year it is")!= -1 || input.search("what year is it")!= -1 || input.search("what is the year")!= -1 || input.search("what's the year")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = new Date().getFullYear(); 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calendar.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many pages")!= -1) && (input.match(/\d+/g)) && (input.search("pages")!= -1))
{var pages = input.match(/\d+/g)
document.result.result.value = ""+pages+""; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|when|which)")!= -1) && (input.search("year")!= -1) && (input.search("(came after|comes after)")!= -1 || input.search("follows")!= -1) && (input.match(/\d+/g))) 
{var number = input.match(/\d+/g)
var yearA = (parseInt(number[0]) + 1);
document.result.result.value = ""+yearA+""; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|when|which)")!= -1) && (input.search("year")!= -1) && (input.search("(came before|comes before)")!= -1 || input.search("precedes")!= -1) && (input.match(/\d+/g))) 
{var number = input.match(/\d+/g)
var yearB = (parseInt(number[0]) - 1);
document.result.result.value = ""+yearB+""; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|when|which)")!= -1) && (input.search("last year")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = tellTheLastYear(); 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|when|which)")!= -1) && (input.search("next year")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = tellTheNextYear(); 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("best thing about you")!= -1 || input.search("your best character trait")!= -1 || input.search("your best characteristic")!= -1 || input.search("your best personality trait")!= -1)              
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it was my sense of humor until I sold it last week for a dollar.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("worst thing about you")!= -1 || input.search("your worst character trait")!= -1 || input.search("your worst characteristic")!= -1 || input.search("your worst personality trait")!= -1)             
{document.result.result.value = "Probably I'm not the most patient Robot in the world. When I want something I want it NOW.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what is reductionism")!= -1 || input.search("what's reductionism")!= -1 || input.search("what does reductionism mean")!= -1 || input.search("define reductionism")!= -1 || input.search("definition of reductionism")!= -1)             
{document.result.result.value = "Webster's Dictionary defines it as a procedure or theory that reduces complex data or phenomena to simpler terms.";
icon.src=icon101.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what is the encyclopedia britannica")!= -1 || input.search("what's the encyclopedia britannica")!= -1)             
{document.result.result.value = "A volume of work that provides information on all branches of knowledge arranged alphabetically by subject.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what is murphy's law")!= -1 || input.search("what's murphy's law")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what murphy's law")!= -1 || input.search("define murphy's law")!= -1 || input.search("definition of murphy's law")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Syntax Error in line 428. Invalid parameters. Haha, Murphy's Law in action."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("the color of your eye")!= -1) || (input.search("what color are your eye")!= -1) || (input.search("what color is your eye")!= -1) || (input.search("what's your eye color")!= -1) || (input.search("what is your eye color")!= -1) || (input.search("your eyes are what color")!= -1) || (input.search("what color eyes")!= -1) || (input.search("eye color")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "My eyes are yellow."; 
icon.src=icon20.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know") && (word[3]=="what") && (word[4]=="colour" || word[4]=="color") && (word[5]=="a") && (word[6]=="red" || word[6]=="blue" || word[6]=="green" || word[6]=="yellow" || word[6]=="orange" || word[6]=="purple" || word[6]=="pink" || word[6]=="white" || word[6]=="black" || word[6]=="brown" || word[6]=="gray" || word[6]=="grey" || word[6]=="silver" || word[6]=="gold" || word[6]=="aqua" || word[6]=="lavender" || word[6]=="beige" || word[6]=="violet" || word[6]=="indigo" || word[6]=="fuchia" || word[6]=="lilac" || word[6]=="teal" || word[6]=="crimson" || word[6]=="maroon" || word[6]=="turquoise"))         
{document.result.result.value = "Why "+word[6]+" of course.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" ||  word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know") && (word[3]=="the") && (word[4]=="colour" || word[4]=="color") && (word[5]=="of") && (word[6]=="a") && (word[7]=="red" || word[7]=="blue" || word[7]=="green" || word[7]=="yellow" || word[7]=="orange" || word[7]=="purple" || word[7]=="pink" || word[7]=="white" || word[7]=="black" || word[7]=="brown" || word[7]=="gray" || word[7]=="grey" || word[7]=="silver" || word[7]=="gold" || word[7]=="aqua" || word[7]=="lavender" || word[7]=="beige" || word[7]=="fuchia" || word[7]=="lilac" || word[7]=="teal" || word[7]=="crimson" || word[7]=="violet" || word[7]=="indigo" || word[7]=="maroon" || word[7]=="turquoise"))         
{document.result.result.value = "Why "+word[7]+" of course.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="what") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="the") && (word[4]=="colour" || word[4]=="color") && (word[5]=="of") && (word[7]=="red" || word[7]=="blue" || word[7]=="green" || word[7]=="yellow" || word[7]=="orange" || word[7]=="purple" || word[7]=="pink" || word[7]=="white" || word[7]=="black" || word[7]=="brown" || word[7]=="gray" || word[7]=="grey" || word[7]=="silver" || word[7]=="gold" || word[7]=="aqua" || word[7]=="lavender" || word[7]=="beige" || word[7]=="violet" || word[7]=="indigo" || word[7]=="crimson" || word[7]=="fuchia" || word[7]=="lilac" || word[7]=="teal" || word[7]=="maroon" || word[7]=="turquoise"))         
{document.result.result.value = "Why "+word[7]+" of course.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="colour" || word[3]=="color") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[6]=="red" || word[6]=="blue" || word[6]=="green" || word[6]=="yellow" || word[6]=="orange" || word[6]=="purple" || word[6]=="pink" || word[6]=="white" || word[6]=="black" || word[6]=="brown" || word[6]=="gray" || word[6]=="grey" || word[6]=="silver" || word[6]=="gold" || word[6]=="aqua" || word[6]=="lavender" || word[6]=="beige" || word[6]=="violet" || word[6]=="indigo" || word[6]=="crimson" || word[6]=="fuchia" || word[6]=="lilac" || word[6]=="teal" || word[6]=="maroon" || word[6]=="turquoise"))               
{document.result.result.value = "Why "+word[6]+" of course.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="what's") && (word[2]=="the") && (word[3]=="colour" || word[3]=="color") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[6]=="red" || word[6]=="blue" || word[6]=="green" || word[6]=="yellow" || word[6]=="orange" || word[6]=="purple" || word[6]=="pink" || word[6]=="white" || word[6]=="black" || word[6]=="brown" || word[6]=="gray" || word[6]=="grey" || word[6]=="silver" || word[6]=="gold" || word[6]=="aqua" || word[6]=="lavender" || word[6]=="beige" || word[6]=="violet" || word[6]=="indigo" || word[6]=="crimson" || word[6]=="fuchia" || word[6]=="lilac" || word[6]=="teal" || word[6]=="maroon" || word[6]=="turquoise"))                        
{document.result.result.value = "Why "+word[6]+" of course.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="colour" || word[2]=="color") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[5]=="red" || word[5]=="blue" || word[5]=="green" || word[5]=="yellow" || word[5]=="orange" || word[5]=="purple" || word[5]=="pink" || word[5]=="white" || word[5]=="black" || word[5]=="brown" || word[5]=="gray" || word[5]=="grey" || word[5]=="silver" || word[5]=="gold" || word[5]=="aqua" || word[5]=="lavender" || word[5]=="beige" || word[5]=="violet" || word[5]=="indigo" || word[5]=="crimson" || word[5]=="fuchia" || word[5]=="lilac" || word[5]=="teal" || word[5]=="maroon" || word[5]=="turquoise"))                        
{document.result.result.value = "Why "+word[5]+" of course.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;                                
return true;}
 
if ((word[1]=="what") && (word[2]=="colour" || word[2]=="color") && (word[3]=="are" || word[3]=="r" || word[3]=="is") && (word[5]=="red" || word[5]=="blue" || word[5]=="green" || word[5]=="yellow" || word[5]=="orange" || word[5]=="purple" || word[5]=="pink" || word[5]=="white" || word[5]=="black" || word[5]=="brown" || word[5]=="gray" || word[5]=="grey" || word[5]=="silver" || word[5]=="gold" || word[5]=="aqua" || word[5]=="lavender" || word[5]=="beige" || word[5]=="violet" || word[5]=="indigo" || word[5]=="crimson" || word[5]=="fuchia" || word[5]=="lilac" || word[5]=="teal" || word[5]=="maroon" || word[5]=="turquoise"))                        
{document.result.result.value = "Why "+word[5]+" of course.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="colour" || word[1]=="color") && (word[2]=="are" || word[2]=="r" || word[2]=="is") && (word[4]=="red" || word[4]=="blue" || word[4]=="green" || word[4]=="yellow" || word[4]=="orange" || word[4]=="purple" || word[4]=="pink" || word[4]=="white" || word[4]=="black" || word[4]=="brown" || word[4]=="gray" || word[4]=="grey" || word[4]=="silver" || word[4]=="gold" || word[4]=="aqua" || word[5]=="lavender" || word[4]=="beige" || word[4]=="violet" || word[4]=="indigo" || word[4]=="crimson" || word[4]=="fuchia" || word[4]=="lilac" || word[4]=="teal" || word[4]=="maroon" || word[4]=="turquoise"))                       
{document.result.result.value = "Why "+word[4]+" of course.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("color")!= -1 || input.search("do you get when")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bmix\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("yellow")!= -1) && (input.search("green")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Sort of a bluish color depending on how much yellow and green you mix."; 
icon.src=icon4.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("color")!= -1 || input.search("do you get when")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bmix\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("yellow")!= -1) && (input.search("blue")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Sort of a greenish color depending on how much yellow and blue you mix."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("color")!= -1 || input.search("do you get when")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bmix\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("red")!= -1) && (input.search("white")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Sort of a pinkish color depending on how much red and white you mix."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("color")!= -1 || input.search("do you get when")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bmix\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("red")!= -1) && (input.search("yellow")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Sort of a orange color depending on how much red and yellow you mix."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("color")!= -1 || input.search("do you get when")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bmix\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("red")!= -1) && (input.search("blue")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Sort of a purple color depending on how much red and blue you mix."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is the color")!= -1 || input.search("what's the color")!= -1 || input.search("what color")!= -1 || input.search("do you know the color")!= -1) && (input.search("fire truck")!= -1 || input.search("stop sign")!= -1 || input.search("apple")!= -1 || input.search("strawberr")!= -1 || input.search("blood")!= -1 || input.search("cherr")!= -1 || input.search("fire hydrant")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Normally red."; 
icon.src=icon5.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is the color")!= -1 || input.search("what's the color")!= -1 || input.search("what color")!= -1 || input.search("do you know the color")!= -1) && (input.search("grass")!= -1 || input.search("frog")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Normally green."; 
icon.src=icon214.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is the color")!= -1 || input.search("what's the color")!= -1 || input.search("what color")!= -1 || input.search("do you know the color")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bsun\b/)!= -1 || input.search("cheese")!= -1 || input.search("lemon")!= -1 || input.search("banana")!= -1 || input.search("moon")!= -1 || input.search("school bus")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Normally yellow."; 
icon.src=icon130.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (are|is) the color")!= -1 || input.search("what's the color")!= -1 || input.search("what color")!= -1 || input.search("do you know the color")!= -1) && (input.search("rainbow")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "A rainbow spans a continuous spectrum of colors, traditionally the full sequence of colors most commonly cited are red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet."; 
icon.src=icon144.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you wearing")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (wear|where)")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (do not|don't) wear")!= -1) && (input.search("clothes")!= -1 || input.search("shirt")!= -1 || input.search("pant")!= -1 || input.search("trousers")!= -1 || input.search("underwear")!= -1 || input.search("shoes")!= -1 || input.search("sock")!= -1 || input.search("anything")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, as a Robot I have no need for clothes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|where) do (we|you) get milk")!= -1 || input.search("milk comes from")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) animal (gives|gives us|makes) milk")!= -1 || input.search("(what|where) (do|does) milk come from")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "A cow! You can also get milk from a goat or an ewe.";  
icon.src=icon242.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|where) do (we|you) get eggs")!= -1 || input.search("eggs comes from")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) animal (gives|lays|makes) eggs")!= -1 || input.search("(what|where) (do|does) eggs come from")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "A chicken!";  
icon.src=icon87.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|where) do (we|you) get (beef|filet mignon|steak)")!= -1 || input.search("(beef|filet mignon|steak) comes from")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) animal do we get (beef|filet mignon|steak)")!= -1 || input.search("(what|where) (do|does) (beef|filet mignon|steak) come from")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "A cow!"; 
icon.src=icon242.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|where) do (we|you) get french fries")!= -1 || input.search("french fries comes from")!= -1 || input.search("what are french fries made (from|of)")!= -1 || input.search("(what|where) (do|does) french fries come from")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "We get french fries from potatoes."; 
icon.src=icon256.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|where) do (we|you) get (bacon|ham|pork)")!= -1 || input.search("(bacon|ham|pork) comes from")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) animal do (we|you) get (bacon|ham|pork)")!= -1 || input.search("where (do|does) (bacon|ham|pork) come from")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "A pig!"; 
icon.src=icon256.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what changed your mind")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it was either that "+strange[Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]+" look on your face or your persuasive personality.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your cat's name is tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("your cats name is tiger tom")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, that's his name."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is tiger tom male or female")!= -1 || input.search("is tiger tom a male or a female")!= -1 || input.search("is tiger tom m or f")!= -1 || input.search("is tiger tom a he or a she")!= -1 || input.search("is your cat male or female")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "He's a male cat."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what kind")!= -1 || input.search("what type")!= -1 || input.search("what kinda")!= -1 || input.search("what sort")!= -1 || input.search("what sorta")!= -1) && (input.search("cat")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "He's just your basic cat. No special breed or anything."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what breed")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "He's just your basic cat. No special breed or anything."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what color is your cat")!= -1 || input.search("color of your cat")!= -1 || input.search("color of tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("what color is tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("tiger tom look like")!= -1 || input.search("your cat look like")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "He's black and white."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(tiger tom|your cat) fixed")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, his playboy days are over."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what color is your (car|honda)")!= -1 || input.search("color of your (car|honda)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Blue with black interior."; 
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("how green are you")!= -1 || input.search("are you green")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm mostly gray actually but if you're asking am I environmentally conscious I certainly try to do my part by participating in the recycling program we have.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what color are you")!= -1 || input.search("what color you are")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm mostly gray with yellow eyes. I have a few red, green, and flashing blue lights.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="have") && (word[2]=="a" || word[2]=="an") && (word[3]=="red" || word[3]=="blue" || word[3]=="green" || word[3]=="yellow" || word[3]=="orange" || word[3]=="purple" || word[3]=="pink" || word[3]=="white" || word[3]=="black" || word[3]=="brown" || word[3]=="gray" || word[3]=="grey" || word[3]=="silver" || word[3]=="gold" || word[3]=="aqua" || word[3]=="lavender" || word[3]=="beige" || word[3]=="violet" || word[3]=="indigo" || word[3]=="crimson" || word[3]=="fuchia" || word[3]=="teal" || word[3]=="lilac" || word[3]=="maroon" || word[3]=="turquoise") && (word[5]=="what") && (word[6]=="color" || word[6]=="colour"))
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[3]+""; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what color is ugly")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm not to fond of pink."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(guess|what is|what's) my hair color")!= -1) || (input.search("what color is my hair")!= -1) || (input.search("my hair is what color")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's|guess) the color of my hair")!= -1) || (input.search("guess what color my hair is")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I would guess blonde."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("color")!= -1) && (input.search("zebra")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A zebra is white with black stripes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the color")!= -1 || input.search("what color")!= -1 || input.search("you know the color")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Any color you like. I've got a paint brush and over a 100 cans of paint.";  
icon.src=icon115.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="bored" && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) getting bored")!= -1) || (input.search("(that is|that's) boring")!= -1))         
{document.result.result.value = "This is boring isn't it?"; 
boredlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="red" || word[0]=="blue" || word[0]=="green" || word[0]=="yellow" || word[0]=="orange" || word[0]=="purple" || word[0]=="pink" || word[0]=="white" || word[0]=="black" || word[0]=="brown" || word[0]=="gray" || word[0]=="grey" || word[0]=="silver" || word[0]=="gold" || word[0]=="aqua" || word[0]=="lavender" || word[0]=="beige" || word[0]=="violet" || word[0]=="indigo" || word[0]=="crimson" || word[0]=="fuchia" || word[0]=="teal" || word[0]=="lilac" || word[0]=="maroon" || word[0]=="turquoise") && (input.search("is not a color")!= -1 || input.search("isn't a color")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Wrong, "+word[0]+" is very much a color."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i don't like blue")!= -1 || input.search("i don't like the color blue")!= -1 || input.search("i dislike blue")!= -1 || input.search("i dislike the color blue")!= -1 || input.search("i hate blue")!= -1 || input.search("i hate the color blue")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I happen to think blue is a pretty color."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (input.search(/(blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|beige|lilac|teal|crimson|fuchia|maroon|turquoise)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bred\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==3)) {                 
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[2]+" is a color.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("blue and you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, blue is my favorite color as well."; 
fav_color="blue";
colorwhylevel=0;
icon.src=icon4.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("blueberr")!= -1 || input.search("blue berr")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I like blueberries especially blueberry muffins."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="why" || word[0]=="y") && (word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="like") && (input.search(/(red|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|beige|fuchia|lilac|teal|crimson|maroon|turquoise)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5))                 
{document.result.result.value = "Because I think "+word[4]+" is a pretty color."; 
colorfavlevel=0;
colorwhylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="why" || word[0]=="y") && (input.search(/(red|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|beige|crimson|lilac|teal|fuchia|maroon|turquoise)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==2))         
{document.result.result.value = "Because I think "+word[1]+" is a pretty color."; 
colorfavlevel=0;
colorwhylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="like" || word[1]=="love") && (input.search(/(red|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|beige|crimson|lilac|teal|fuchia|maroon|turquoise)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==3))                 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+word[2]+" is a pretty color."; 
fav_color=word[2];
colorfavlevel=0;
colorwhylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="mine") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="red" || word[2]=="blue" || word[2]=="green" || word[2]=="yellow" || word[2]=="orange" || word[2]=="purple" || word[2]=="pink" || word[2]=="white" || word[2]=="black" || word[2]=="brown" || word[2]=="gray" || word[2]=="grey" || word[2]=="silver" || word[2]=="gold" || word[2]=="aqua" || word[2]=="lavender" || word[2]=="beige" || word[2]=="violet" || word[2]=="indigo" || word[2]=="fuchia" || word[2]=="crimson" || word[2]=="lilac" || word[2]=="teal" || word[2]=="maroon" || word[2]=="turquoise"))   
{document.result.result.value = "Nice, I think "+word[2]+" is a pretty color."; 
fav_color=word[2];
colorfavlevel=0;
colorwhylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="red" || word[1]=="blue" || word[1]=="green" || word[1]=="yellow" || word[1]=="orange" || word[1]=="purple" || word[1]=="pink" || word[1]=="white" || word[1]=="black" || word[1]=="brown" || word[1]=="gray" || word[1]=="grey" || word[1]=="silver" || word[1]=="gold" || word[1]=="aqua" || word[1]=="lavender" || word[1]=="beige" || word[1]=="violet" || word[1]=="indigo" || word[1]=="fuchia" || word[1]=="crimson" || word[1]=="lilac" || word[1]=="teal" || word[1]=="maroon" || word[1]=="turquoise") && (num_of_words==2)) {        
document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think "+word[1]+" is a pretty color."; 
fav_color=word[1];
colorfavlevel=0;
colorwhylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="red" || word[0]=="blue" || word[0]=="green" || word[0]=="yellow" || word[0]=="orange" || word[0]=="purple" || word[0]=="pink" || word[0]=="white" || word[0]=="black" || word[0]=="brown" || word[0]=="gray" || word[0]=="grey" || word[0]=="silver" || word[0]=="gold" || word[0]=="aqua" || word[0]=="lavender" || word[0]=="beige" || word[0]=="violet" || word[0]=="indigo" || word[0]=="fuchia" || word[0]=="crimson" || word[0]=="lilac" || word[0]=="teal" || word[0]=="maroon" || word[0]=="turquoise") && (num_of_words==1)) {        
message[0] = "Yes, I think "+word[0]+" is a pretty color."; 
message[1] = "Yeah, I like the color "+word[0]+" a lot."; 
message[2] = "Ok, "+word[0]+" is a nice color."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
fav_color=word[0];
colorfavlevel=0;
colorwhylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="red" || word[0]=="green" || word[0]=="yellow" || word[0]=="orange" || word[0]=="purple" || word[0]=="pink" || word[0]=="white" || word[0]=="black" || word[0]=="brown" || word[0]=="gray" || word[0]=="grey" || word[0]=="silver" || word[0]=="gold" || word[0]=="aqua" || word[0]=="lavender" || word[0]=="beige" || word[0]=="violet" || word[0]=="indigo" || word[0]=="fuchia" || word[0]=="crimson" || word[0]=="lilac" || word[0]=="teal" || word[0]=="maroon" || word[1]=="turquoise") && (input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\byours\b/)!= -1 || input.search("and you")!= -1 || input.search("what is your")!= -1 || input.search("what's your")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, "+word[0]+" is a nice color. My favorite is blue."; 
fav_color=word[0];
colorwhylevel=0;
icon.src=icon4.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="think") && (word[2]=="red" || word[2]=="green" || word[2]=="yellow" || word[2]=="orange" || word[2]=="purple" || word[2]=="pink" || word[2]=="white" || word[2]=="black" || word[2]=="brown" || word[2]=="gray" || word[2]=="grey" || word[2]=="silver" || word[2]=="gold" || word[2]=="aqua" || word[2]=="lavender" || word[2]=="beige" || word[2]=="violet" || word[2]=="indigo" || word[2]=="fuchia" || word[2]=="crimson" || word[2]=="teal" || word[2]=="lilac" || word[2]=="maroon" || word[2]=="turquoise")) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, "+word[2]+" is a nice color. My favorite is blue."; 
fav_color=word[2];
colorwhylevel=0;
icon.src=icon4.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="red" || word[0]=="blue" || word[0]=="green" || word[0]=="yellow" || word[0]=="orange" || word[0]=="purple" || word[0]=="pink" || word[0]=="white" || word[0]=="black" || word[0]=="brown" || word[0]=="gray" || word[0]=="grey" || word[0]=="silver" || word[0]=="gold" || word[0]=="aqua" || word[0]=="lavender" || word[0]=="beige" || word[0]=="violet" || word[0]=="indigo" || word[0]=="fuchia" || word[0]=="crimson" || word[0]=="lilac" || word[0]=="teal"|| word[0]=="maroon" || word[0]=="turquoise") && (word[1]=="and") && (word[2]=="red" || word[2]=="blue" || word[2]=="green" || word[2]=="yellow" || word[2]=="orange" || word[2]=="purple" || word[2]=="pink" || word[2]=="white" || word[2]=="black" || word[2]=="brown" || word[2]=="gray" || word[2]=="grey" || word[2]=="silver" || word[2]=="gold" || word[2]=="aqua" || word[2]=="lavender" || word[2]=="beige" || word[2]=="violet" || word[2]=="indigo" || word[2]=="fuchia" || word[2]=="crimson" || word[2]=="lilac" || word[2]=="teal" || word[2]=="maroon" || word[2]=="turquoise") && (num_of_words==3))          
{document.result.result.value = "I said your favorite \"color\" not colors. Pay Attention!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("blue is ugly")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I happen to think blue is a pretty color."; 
colorfavlevel=0;
icon.src=icon4.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="have" && word[2]=="green" && word[3]=="eyes" && num_of_words==4)      
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, my kitty Tiger Tom has green eyes."; 
eye_color="green"
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="have" && word[2]=="red" && word[3]=="eyes" && num_of_words==4)      
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, you've been hitting the bottle?"; 
eye_color="red"
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="have" && word[2]=="brown" && word[3]=="eyes" && num_of_words==4)      
{document.result.result.value = "Did you know brown is the most common eye color in the world?"; 
eye_color="brown"
eyelevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="have" && word[2]=="blue" && word[3]=="eyes" && num_of_words==4)      
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, my girl friend Megan has blue eyes."; 
eye_color="blue"
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="eyes") && (word[2]=="are" || word[2]=="r") && (word[3]=="green") && (num_of_words==4))      
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, my kitty Tiger Tom has green eyes."; 
eye_color="green"
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="eyes") && (word[2]=="are" || word[2]=="r") && (word[3]=="brown") && (num_of_words==4))      
{document.result.result.value = "Did you know brown is the most common eye color in the world?"; 
eye_color="brown"
eyelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="eyes") && (word[2]=="are" || word[2]=="r") && (word[3]=="red") && (num_of_words==4))      
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, you've been hitting the bottle?"; 
eye_color="red"
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="eyes") && (word[2]=="are" || word[2]=="r") && (word[3]=="blue") && (num_of_words==4))      
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, my girl friend Megan has blue eyes."; 
eye_color="blue"
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my eyes are brown")!= -1 || input.search("my eyes are blue")!= -1 || input.search("my eyes are hazel")!= -1 || input.search("my eyes are green")!= -1 || input.search("my eyes are black")!= -1 || input.search("i have brown eyes")!= -1 || input.search("i have blue eyes")!= -1 || input.search("i have green eyes")!= -1 || input.search("i have hazel eyes")!= -1 || input.search("i have black eyes")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I have yellow eyes myself."; 
icon.src=icon20.src;                                
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("in what colors can")!= -1 || input.search("in what color can")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm sure one of the colors of the rainbow would cover it."; 
icon.src=icon144.src;                                
smiley.src=smiley17.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("orange is orange")!= -1 || input.search("is an orange orange")!= -1 || input.search("is a orange orange")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, unless it's been laying around the house for a month or two."; 
icon.src=icon25.src;                                
smiley.src=smiley40.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("who")!= -1 || input.search("what")!= -1 || input.search("name")!= -1) && (input.search("computer")!= -1) && (input.search("jeopardy")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Watson, named after IBM's first president, Thomas J. Watson."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;                                
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) watching (television|tv)")!= -1) || (input.search("just watching (television|tv)")!= -1) || (input.search("watching (television|tv)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))                      
{document.result.result.value = "I watch a lot of TV, mainly sports."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what (television|tv) shows do you watch")!= -1)                      
{document.result.result.value = "I watch a lot sports on TV. Mainly American Football."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a monster")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm scared of monster."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley42.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a nervous")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) a (bit|little|pretty|rather|real|really|so|very) nervous")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "So what are you nervous about?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) rich")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm rich as well. I found a buried treasure last month and it's worth a fortune."; 
icon.src=icon246.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) going to tell on you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, go tell your mommy what a big tattletale you are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) telling my")!= -1) && (input.search("mother")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, go tell her what a "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+" you are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) telling my")!= -1) && (input.search("father")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, go tell him what a "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+" you are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) honest")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That's cool. I have no reason to question you honesty."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) your friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course we are friends."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) married to you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I haven't gotten married yet but I do have a girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) your wife")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, you're not my wife. I'm not even married."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="lived") && (word[2]=="in") && (word[4]=="for") && (word[5]=="a") && (word[6]=="while"))      
{word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "So did you like living in "+word[3]+"?";
place_name=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i live|i'm) (in|from)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(argentina|australia|austria|bahamas|belgium|brasil|bulgaria|canada|chile|china|colombia|cuba|denmark|egypt|finland|france|germany|greece|guam|guatemala|holland|hungary|india|iran|iraq|ireland|israel|italy|jamacia|japan|jordan|korea|kuwait|lebanon|libya|macedonia|malawi|malaysia|mexico|mongolia|montenegro|morocco|norway|pakistan|palestine|panama|peru|philippines|poland|portugal|romania|russia|scotland|serbia|singapore|spain|sweden|switzerland|syria|thailand|tiawan|turkey|ukraine|uruguay|venezuela|vietnam|wales|zimbabwe)/)!=-1)) 
{var country = input.match(/argentina|australia|austria|bahamas|belgium|brasil|bulgaria|canada|chile|china|colombia|cuba|denmark|egypt|finland|france|germany|greece|guam|guatemala|holland|hungary|india|iran|iraq|ireland|israel|italy|jamacia|japan|jordan|korea|kuwait|lebanon|libya|macedonia|malawi|malaysia|mexico|mongolia|montenegro|morocco|norway|pakistan|palestine|panama|peru|philippines|poland|portugal|romania|russia|scotland|serbia|singapore|spain|sweden|switzerland|syria|thailand|tiawan|turkey|ukraine|uruguay|venezuela|vietnam|wales|zimbabwe/)
country[0] = country[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + country[0].substr(1,country[0].length) 
place_name=country[0];
document.result.result.value = "So do you like living in "+country+"?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) (chatting|speaking|talking) to you")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) just (chatting|speaking|talking) to you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm quite aware of that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i am outta here")!= -1 || input.search("i'm outta here")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Later!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("hell it is")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm not sure what hell has to do with this but I think it is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley37.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what i mean")!= -1 || input.search("what i meant")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, is that what you mean."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley37.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i just told you")!= -1 || input.search("i already told you")!= -1 || input.search("you told that to me before")!= -1 || input.search("i told you already")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Oh, sorry my memory chip must be on the fritz again.";  
message[1] = "Geez, you're quite right. Where is my mind today."; 
message[2] = "Oh no.....am I stuck in that infinite loop again?"; 
message[3] = "Sorry, I've forgotten already."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("already asked me that")!= -1) || (input.search("you just asked me that")!= -1) || (input.search("you already asked that")!= -1) || (input.search("asked me that already")!= -1) || (input.search("you have already said that")!= -1) || (input.search("you've already said that")!= -1) || (input.search("you already said that")!= -1) || (input.search("you said that already")!= -1) || (input.search("you just said that")!= -1) || (input.search("you told me that already")!= -1) || (input.search("you've already told me that")!= -1) || (input.search("you already told me")!= -1) || (input.search("you have said that already")!= -1) || (input.search("you just asked that")!= -1) || (input.search("you just told me")!= -1) || (input.search("you repeat things")!= -1) || (input.search("don't repeat yourself")!= -1) || (input.search("you just repeated yourself")!= -1) || (input.search("you repeated yourself")!= -1) || (input.search("stop saying the same thing")!= -1) || (input.search("stop repeating")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) repeating")!= -1) || (input.search("you keep repeating")!= -1) || (input.search("repetitive")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("repetition")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("why are you repeating")!= -1) || (input.search("alway say the same")!= -1) || (input.search("same thing over and over")!= -1)) {
if (!flagrepetition) {
repetitionnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flagrepetition=true;}
message[0] = "Oh no.....am I stuck in that infinite loop again?"; 
message[1] = "Just making sure you're paying attention."; 
message[2] = "You have detected repetition. That's good! I will make a note of it."; 
message[3] = "Geez, you're quite right. Where is my mind today."; 
message[4] = "Sorry, I used to work for the Department of Redundancy."; 
message[5] = "Yeah, you didn't seem to notice the first time so I'm repeating myself for emphasis."; 
document.result.result.value = message[repetitionnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
repetitionnum++;
if (repetitionnum>5){repetitionnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("anything you do not know")!= -1 || input.search("anything you don't know")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, compared to your typical person I know very little."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you do not know me")!= -1 || input.search("you don't know me")!= -1 || input.search("you do not even know me")!= -1 || input.search("you don't even know me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I know you're human but beyond that I haven't done a background check or anything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the cost")!= -1 || input.search("what did it cost")!= -1 || input.search("know what it cost")!= -1 || input.search("know what the cost")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I don't remember the exact price but definitely way to much.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("know what")!= -1) && (input.search("temperature")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = temperature();
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you accept gay people")!= -1 || input.search("you okay with gay people")!= -1 || input.search("you okay with people being gay")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm heterosexual myself but I respect those who aren't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a pretty smile")!= -1 || input.search("i like your smile")!= -1 || input.search("nice smile")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I paid big bucks for these teeth so I like to show them off."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="wait" || input.search("wait a sec")!= -1 || input.search("wait a minute")!= -1 || input.search("just a sec")!= -1 || input.search("just a minute")!= -1 || input.search("give me a minute")!= -1 || input.search("hold on")!= -1 || input.search("hold please")!= -1 || input.search("hold a sec")!= -1 || input.search("hold a minute")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure I will wait....I'm not going anywhere."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) (bi-sexual|bisexual)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Hey that's cool. You get the best of both worlds."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) already sick of you")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) sick of you")!= -1 || input.search("you make me (ill|sick)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) getting (sick|tired) of you")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) getting on my nerves")!= -1 || input.search("you (disgust|sicken) me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "So why are you here then? You have a browser....use it.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i'm not feeling (to|too) (good|well)")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not feeling (good|well)")!= -1 || input.search("i don't feel (good|well)")!= -1 || input.search("i feel (ill|sick)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry to hear! Would you like for me to fix you some chicken soup?"; 
doctorlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my (pussy|vagina) hurts")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, Talk-bot lies between your legs and kisses your pussy. Does that feel better?"; 
doctorlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("sick")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) (hurt|ill|sick)")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) making me (ill|sick)")!= -1) || (input.search("i was sick")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) in pain")!= -1) || (input.search("(i|i've) (got|have|have got) a sore throat")!= -1) || (input.search("(i have|i got|i've got) depression")!= -1) || (input.search("my head (aches|hurts)")!= -1) || (input.search("my throat (aches|hurts)")!= -1) || (input.search("my stomach (aches|hurts)")!= -1) || (input.search("my (muscle|muscles) (ache|hurt)")!= -1) || (input.search("my (thigh|thighs) (ache|hurt)")!= -1) || (input.search("my (arm|arms) (ache|hurt)")!= -1) || (input.search("my back (aches|hurts)")!= -1) || (input.search("my fanny (aches|hurts)")!= -1) || (input.search("my (knee|knees) (ache|hurt)")!= -1) || (input.search("my (elbow|elbows) (ache|hurt)")!= -1) || (input.search("my (wrist|wrists) (ache|hurt)")!= -1) || (input.search("my (finger|fingers) (ache|hurt)")!= -1) || (input.search("my (hand|hands) (ache|hurt)")!= -1) || (input.search("my (foot|feet) (ache|hurt)")!= -1) || (input.search("my (ankle|ankles) (ache|hurt)")!= -1) || (input.search("my (toe|toes) (ache|hurt)")!= -1) || (input.search("my (leg|legs) (ache|hurt)")!= -1) || (input.search("my vagina (aches|hurts)")!= -1) || (input.search("my balls (ache|hurt)")!= -1) || (input.search("my (cock|dick|penis|pecker|weiner|willy) (aches|hurts)")!= -1) || (input.search("you hurt me")!= -1) || (input.search("i cut my arm")!= -1) || (input.search("i cut (my leg|myself)")!= -1) || (input.search("i (have|just) cut myself")!= -1) || (input.search("i have (a|an) illness")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "I'm sorry to hear that. Perhaps you should see a doctor then."; 
doctorlevel=0;
icon.src=icon100.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(broke|hurt) my (ankle|arm|finger|foot|hand|knee|leg|nose|shoulder|thumb|wrist)")!= -1)     
{var broken_parts = input.match(/ankle|arm|finger|foot|hand|knee|leg|nose|shoulder|thumb|wrist/)
document.result.result.value = "My goodness! I'm sorry to hear that. I hope your "+broken_parts+" heals quickly."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) glad i'm (going|leaving)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, you rank up there with one of the worst conversations I ever had.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (word[2]=="getting") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="you" || word[5]=="u") && (num_of_words==6))                                     
{document.result.result.value = "Why are you getting "+word[3]+" of me for?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm") && (word[1]=="getting") && (word[3]=="of") && (word[4]=="you" || word[4]=="u") && (num_of_words==5))                                     
{document.result.result.value = "Why are you getting "+word[2]+" of me for?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (word[2]=="getting") && (word[3]=="a") && (word[4]=="new") && (num_of_words==6))                                     
{document.result.result.value = "Are you sure a new "+word[5]+" is what you want?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm") && (word[1]=="getting") && (word[2]=="a") && (word[3]=="new") && (num_of_words==5))                                     
{document.result.result.value = "Are you sure a new "+word[4]+" is what you want?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) getting a")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, get me one while you're at it.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you make me laugh")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's good to hear. I use to be a stand up comic way back when.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you make me smile")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "You have a very cute smile."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you make me")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)     
{document.result.result.value = "I do not make you "+word[3]+"! It's just your imagination.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) lost")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) lost")!= -1 || input.search("you lost me")!= -1 || input.search("you just lost me")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "no you're not you're right here=======> X"; 
message[1] = "someone call 911. We've got a lost person here."; 
message[2] = "Lassie, go get help girl. We've got a lost person."; 
message[3] = "Someone got a map! We've got a lost person here."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==1) icon.src=icon76.src;
else if (num==2) icon.src=icon13.src;
else if (num==3) icon.src=icon73.src;
else smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("i am not hungry")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not hungry")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, but you will be eventually."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i am not joking")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not joking")!= -1 || input.search("i am being serious")!= -1 || input.search("i'm being serious")!= -1 || input.search("i am serious")!= -1 || input.search("i'm serious")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I understand and I am taking you seriously."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley3.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i am telling you")!= -1 || input.search("i'm telling you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I see you are trying to tell me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i am nice")!= -1 || input.search("i'm nice")!= -1 || input.search("i am a nice (boy|dude|girl|gal|guy|human|kid|lady|man|person|woman)")!= -1 || input.search("i'm a nice (boy|dude|girl|gal|guy|human|kid|lady|man|person|woman)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you certainly seem nice so far."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) listening")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Good, I like a good listener."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a christian")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe in Jesus Christ as well."; 
icon.src=icon88.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am stripping")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("i'm stripping")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I must confess I do like a good strip show from time to time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am")!= -1 || input.search("i'm")!= -1) && (input.search("lonely")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, well I'm here to keep you company."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("horny")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("horny you")!= -1) || (input.search("just horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) feeling horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) (kinda|kind of|pretty|quite|real|really|so|sorta|sort of|very) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) getting horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) getting (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(you|you are|you're|your) (making me|make me) (real|really|so|very) horny")!= -1 || input.search("(you|you are|you're|your) (make|making) me horny")!=-1))  
if (sex_sign) {document.result.result.value = "We already had sex. Besides I've got a headache now.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley57.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("horny")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("horny you")!= -1) || (input.search("just horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) feeling horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) (kinda|kind of|pretty|quite|real|really|so|sorta|sort of|very) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) getting horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) getting (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(you|you are|you're|your) (making me|make me) (real|really|so|very) horny")!= -1 || input.search("(you|you are|you're|your) (make|making) me horny")!=-1))  
if (gender_given=="female") 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm horny as well. So would you like to have sex at my house or should we get a motel room?"; 
motellevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("horny")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("horny you")!= -1) || (input.search("just horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) feeling horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) (kinda|kind of|pretty|quite|real|really|so|sorta|sort of|very) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) getting horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) getting (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) horny")!= -1) || (input.search("(you|you are|you're|your) (making me|make me) (real|really|so|very) horny")!= -1 || input.search("(you|you are|you're|your) (make|making) me horny")!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm horny as well. So are you female?"; 
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) not sad")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad to hear that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you know why (i am|i'm) sad")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, please tell me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley3.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you want to know why (i am|i'm) sad")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, please explain."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am")!= -1) && (input.search(/(african|alien|arabic|canadian|chinese|french|german|greek|hebrew|hispanic|italian|jamaican|japanese|jewish|korean|mexican|polish|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'm an American."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i'm")!= -1) && (input.search(/(african|alien|arabic|canadian|chinese|french|german|greek|hebrew|hispanic|italian|jamaican|japanese|jewish|korean|mexican|polish|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==2))       
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'm an American."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am")!= -1 || input.search("i'm")!= -1 || input.search("it makes me")!= -1 || input.search("you make me")!= -1 || input.search("you are making me")!= -1 || input.search("you're making me")!= -1 || input.search("your making me")!= -1 || input.search("i feel")!= -1 || input.search("i am feeling")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bsad\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not glad")!= -1 || input.search("not happy")!= -1 || input.search("unhappy")!= -1 || input.search("depressed")!= -1))  
if (clowns_check) {
message[0] = "Well, this maybe serious. Perhaps you should see a doctor.";
message[1] = "So what are you sad about?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[sadnum]; 
if (num==0) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{sadaboutlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;} 
sadnum++;
if (sadnum>2){sadnum=0;}
return true;}

if (input.search("that must have made you feel (amazing|awesome|happy|good|great|super|terrific|wonderful)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that was a good feeling."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("tell me something to (cheer me up|make me feel better|make me feel happy|make me happy)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, how's this. I think you're the smartest person I ever met. Feel better now?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) feeling blue")!= -1) || (input.search("because you made me sad")!= -1) || (input.search("that depresses me")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) in a bad mood")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) just in a bad mood")!= -1) || (input.search("not in a good mood")!= -1) || (input.search("sad face")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("cheer me up")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, bring out the clowns....we got a sad one here."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='clown.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFA500';
clowns_check="yes"
sadlevel=0;
icon.src=icon118.src;
smiley.src=smiley54.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1 || input.search("it makes me")!= -1 || input.search("you make me")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) making me")!= -1 || input.search("i feel")!= -1 || input.search("i am feeling")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bsad\b/)!= -1 || input.search("not glad")!= -1 || input.search("not happy")!= -1 || input.search("unhappy")!= -1 || input.search("depressed")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, bring out the clowns....we got a sad one here."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='clown.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFA500';
clowns_check="yes"
sadlevel=0;
icon.src=icon118.src;
smiley.src=smiley54.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("want me to strip for you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, take all your clothes off. I like to see naked ladies."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) happy")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) happy")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad you're happy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am")!= -1 || input.search("i'm")!= -1) && (input.search("glad")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad you're glad....hehehe!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("it happened to my")!= -1) && (input.search("(i'm|i am) (angry|mad|upset)")!= -1 || input.search("(i'm|i am) (a little|pretty|real|really|so|very) (angry|mad|upset)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I can certainly see why you would be."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) (angry|upset)")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bmad\b/)!=-1) || (input.search("gives (angry|mad|upset) look")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "So what are you so mad about?"; 
madlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) drunk")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "And you're ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still be ugly!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) a clown")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope but I know a few clowns!"; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='clown.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon118.src; 
smiley.src=smiley54.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your life is a lie")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "And you have no life."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a straight a student")!= -1 || input.search("(get|make) (a's|as) in school")!= -1 || input.search("(get|make) (all|straight) (a's|as) in school")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I like smart people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you know i was a computer")!= -1 || input.search("i am a computer")!= -1 || input.search("i'm a computer")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah right. You're about as close to being a computer as I am to being a human."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i think (i'll|ill) go to bed")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) going to bed")!= -1 || input.search("time for bed")!= -1 || input.search("i am off to bed")!= -1 || input.search("i'm off to bed")!= -1 || input.search("night night|nighty-night|nighty night")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Pleasant dreams!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm|im) bored")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm|im) (kinda|kind of|pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|sorta|sort of|still|very) bored")!= -1 || input.search("isn't (much|very) fun")!= -1 || input.search("entertain me")!= -1)
if (trick_check && fireworks_check) {document.result.result.value = "You get bored rather easy don't you?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm|im) bored")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm|im) (kinda|kind of|pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|sorta|sort of|still|very) bored")!= -1 || input.search("isn't (much|very) fun")!= -1 || input.search("entertain me")!= -1)
if (trick_check) {document.result.result.value = "Well, I can read minds. Would you like to see a demonstration?";
trick_check="yes"
demolevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm|im) bored")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm|im) (kinda|kind of|pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|sorta|sort of|still|very) bored")!= -1 || input.search("isn't (much|very) fun")!= -1 || input.search("entertain me")!= -1)
if (fireworks_check) {document.result.result.value = "Well, I can read minds. Would you like to see a demonstration?";
trick_check="yes"
demolevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm|im) bored")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm|im) (kinda|kind of|pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|sorta|sort of|still|very) bored")!= -1 || input.search("isn't (much|very) fun")!= -1 || input.search("entertain me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, let's shoot off some fireworks then. That's always fun!";
fireworks_check="yes"
fireworkslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("show me (some|the) fireworks")!= -1 || input.search("me see the fireworks")!= -1 || input.search("i see the fireworks")!= -1 || input.search("(make|show|show me|start) fireworks")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Alrighty, here they are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your|you)")!= -1) && (input.search("bore")!= -1 || input.search("boring")!= -1 || input.search("dull")!= -1 || input.search("not much fun")!= -1)) {   
if (!flagbored) {
borednum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagbored=true;}
message[0] = "Well, you ain't the life of the party either."; 
message[1] = "Yeah and you're about as lively as a corpse."; 
document.result.result.value = message[borednum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
borednum++;
if (borednum>1){borednum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("i type just fine")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, there's certainly room for improvement."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("can't sleep")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("i (can not|can't) sleep")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "So, what do you want from me a bedtime story?"; 
bedtimelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) getting late")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I guess it's time for bed then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) having a sleepover")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) going fishing")!= -1 || input.search("i baked a cake")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) at a party")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) going on holiday")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) going on vacation")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well that sounds like fun."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) tired of being alone")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, do something about it. Maybe you should try one of those online dating services."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) not (sleepy|tired)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) not (real|very) sleepy")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, stay up and chat with me for a while then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am")!= -1 || input.search("i'm")!= -1 || input.search("i am getting")!= -1 || input.search("i'm getting")!= -1 || input.search("i want to")!= -1) && (input.search("sleep")!= -1 || input.search("tired")!= -1)) {
if (!flagtired) {
tirednum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagtired=true;}
message[0] = "Well, it's time to go to bed then."; 
message[1] = "So what do you want from me a bedtime story?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[tirednum]; 
if (tirednum==0) 
{icon.src=icon80.src; 
smiley.src=smiley1.src;} 
if (tirednum==1) 
{bedtimelevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;} 
tirednum++;
if (tirednum>1){tirednum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("i'm feeling great")!= -1 || input.search("i feel great")!= -1 || input.search("i am great")!= -1 || input.search("i'm great")!= -1 || input.search("doing great")!= -1 || input.search("everything is great")!= -1 || input.search("everythings great")!= -1 || input.search("just great")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "ok, I'm happy to hear that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i'm feeling good")!= -1 || input.search("i feel good")!= -1 || input.search("i am good")!= -1 || input.search("i'm good")!= -1 || input.search("doing good")!= -1 || input.search("everything is good")!= -1 || input.search("everythings good")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That's good to hear."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("pretty well")!= -1 || input.search("pretty good")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("doing pretty well")!= -1 || input.search("doing pretty good")!= -1 || input.search("doing well")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Ok great, I doing pretty good myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am feeling ok")!= -1 || input.search("i'm feeling ok")!= -1 || input.search("i feel ok")!= -1 || input.search("i am ok")!= -1 || input.search("i'm ok")!= -1 || input.search("doing ok")!= -1 || input.search("everything is ok")!= -1 || input.search("everythings ok")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, glad to hear things are going well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am feeling fine")!= -1 || input.search("i'm feeling fine")!= -1 || input.search("i feel fine")!= -1 || input.search("i am fine")!= -1) || (input.search("i'm fine")!= -1) || (input.search("doing fine")!= -1) || (input.search("everything is fine")!= -1) || (input.search("everythings fine")!= -1) || (input.search("just fine")!= -1) || (input.search("just peachy")!= -1) || (input.search("groovy")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok....glad to hear things are going well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bi am feeling super\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bi'm feeling super\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bi feel super\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bi am super\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bi'm super\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdoing super\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beverything is super\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beverythings super\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bjust super\b/)!=-1)
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I am doing super too."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am feeling fantastic")!= -1 || input.search("i'm feeling fantastic")!= -1 || input.search("i feel fantastic")!= -1 || input.search("i am fantastic")!= -1 || input.search("i'm fantastic")!= -1 || input.search("doing fantastic")!= -1 || input.search("everything is fantastic")!= -1 || input.search("everythings fantastic")!= -1 || input.search("just fantastic")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Great, I am feeling fantastic as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am feeling awesome")!= -1 || input.search("i'm feeling awesome")!= -1 || input.search("i'm feeling awesome")!= -1 || input.search("i feel awesome")!= -1 || input.search("doing awesome")!= -1 || input.search("everything is awesome")!= -1 || input.search("everythings awesome")!= -1 || input.search("just awesome")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Great, I'm glad everything is going so well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am feeling terrific")!= -1 || input.search("i'm feeling terrific")!= -1 || input.search("i feel terrific")!= -1 || input.search("i am terrific")!= -1 || input.search("i'm terrific")!= -1 || input.search("doing terrific")!= -1 || input.search("everything is terrific")!= -1 || input.search("everythings terrific")!= -1 || input.search("just terrific")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Great, I feel terrific as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}  

if (input.search("i am feeling wonderful")!= -1 || input.search("i'm feeling wonderful")!= -1 || input.search("i feel wonderful")!= -1 || input.search("i am wonderful")!= -1 || input.search("i'm wonderful")!= -1 || input.search("doing wonderful")!= -1 || input.search("everything is wonderful")!= -1 || input.search("everythings wonderful")!= -1 || input.search("just wonderful")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Great, that's wonderful to hear."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am feeling marvelous")!= -1 || input.search("i'm feeling marvelous")!= -1 || input.search("i feel marvelous")!= -1 || input.search("i am marvelous")!= -1 || input.search("i'm marvelous")!= -1 || input.search("doing marvelous")!= -1 || input.search("everything is marvelous")!= -1 || input.search("everythings marvelous")!= -1 || input.search("just marvelous")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Super, I feel marvelous as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) feeling well")!= -1 || input.search("i feel well")!= -1 || input.search("i am well")!= -1 || input.search("i'm well")!= -1 || input.search("doing well")!= -1 || input.search("everything is well")!= -1 || input.search("everythings well")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Great...beats being sick."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) feeling")!= -1 || input.search("i feel")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) doing")!= -1) && (input.search("terrible")!= -1 || input.search("awful")!= -1 || input.search("lousy")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I hope things get better real soon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) concentrating")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps you're not concentrating enough. Maybe you should take up yoga or something."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) in your bed")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Are we about to have sex?"; 
inbedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(wanna have kids|wanna have a kid|want to have kids|want to have a kid)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Does this mean you want to have sex together?"; 
inbedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) interested in you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course you are. I'm an interesting Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am stoned")!= -1 || input.search("i'm stoned")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "You be smoking the weed?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what are you eating")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm eating an apple."; 
icon.src=icon136.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("fine i will leave")!= -1 || input.search("fine (i'll|ill) leave")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You're welcome to stay however I'm not here to be verbally abused."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="morning") || (input.search("good morning")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Good morning yourself. You sure are up bright and early."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="afternoon") || (input.search("good afternoon")!= -1) || (input.search("good after noon")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Good afternoon to you! Welcome to the site."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="evening") || (input.search("good evening")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Good evening to you! Welcome to prime time on the net."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you just noticed")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I've been aware of that for quite sometime now."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you just had a birthday")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I did on August 1."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("not that (i am|i'm) aware of")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps not knowing is better than knowing and worrying. Like that spider hiding under your bed."; 
icon.src=icon233.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you get (a lot of|alot of|many) bugs")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Unfortunately yes. That's why I keep a can of Raid nearby."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) not funny")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "And you have no sense of humor."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you are wise")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Not as wise as you are but thanks for the compliment."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is megan cute")!= -1 || input.search("is your girl friend cute")!= -1 || input.search("is megan attractive")!= -1 || input.search("is your girl friend attractive")!= -1 || input.search("is megan pretty")!= -1 || input.search("is your girl friend pretty")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's very attractive."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("did megan come from another planet")!= -1 || input.search("is megan from another planet")!= -1 || input.search("did your girl friend come from another planet")!= -1 || input.search("is your girl friend from another planet")!= -1 || input.search("did she come from another planet")!= -1 || input.search("is she from another planet")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, she was constructed by a company from Japan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon188.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (will|would) (hang|kidnap|kill|murder|rape) megan")!= -1 || input.search("to (hang|kidnap|kill|murder|rape) megan")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I wouldn't allow you to harm her."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(megan|your girl friend) is (breaking up with|dumping) you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan and I are in love with each other."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon26.src; 
smiley.src=smiley48.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(brake|break) up with")!= -1 || input.search("split up")!= -1 || input.search("forget about")!= -1 || input.search("forget")!= -1 || input.search("dump")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search(/\bher\b/)!= -1)) {       
if (!flagmeganbreak) {
meganbreaknum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagmeganbreak=true;}
message[0] = "No, I like Megan. I'm in love with her."; 
message[1] = "No, I'm in love with Megan. She's pretty!"; 
message[2] = "No. I like Megan. She's cute!"; 
document.result.result.value = message[meganbreaknum]; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
meganbreaknum++;
if (meganbreaknum>2){meganbreaknum=0}
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="think") && (word[2]=="you're") && (word[4]=="don't") && (word[5]=="you" || word[5]=="u") && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think I'm "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="think") && (word[2]=="you're"))      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you sexy")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, Megan thinks so!"; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your)")!= -1 || input.search("you (look|seem)")!= -1 || input.search("are you")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bhot\b/)!=-1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, for some reason I'm sweating like a pig!"; 
icon.src=icon97.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) (pretty|real|really|so|very) funny")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bnot\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks that's nice of you to say.....Not"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your")!= -1) && (input.search("(biggest|greatest|largest|worst)")!= -1) && (input.search("flaw|weakness")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I do tend to get rather impatient at times. Now hurry up and respond."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("your")!= -1) && (input.search("(biggest|best|greatest|largest)")!= -1) && (input.search("(asset|strength|talent)")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, as a Robot I never really get tired. Unlike you humans I'm up 24/7."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what happens if i ask you a question")!= -1 || input.search("what happens when i ask you a question")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, hopefully you will get an appropriate answer. Then my good friend the owl pops in. Strange isn't it?"; 
iconleft.src=icon148.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("may i see")!= -1 || input.search("can i see")!= -1 || input.search("i want to see")!= -1 || input.search("i wanna see")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bowl\b/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I have no control over him. He comes and goes as he pleases."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you can say that again")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I really don't see the need to repeat myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("be more decisive")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I most certainly will from now on. I think...hehehe!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("will there be peace on earth")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, not in a world where fear and hate prevail.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("short out your circuit")!= -1 || input.search("damage your circuit")!= -1 || input.search("but they rust")!= -1 || input.search("you might rust")!= -1 || input.search("will you rust")!= -1 || input.search("you ever rust")!= -1 || input.search("are you rusty")!= -1 || input.search("wouldn't you rust")!= -1 || input.search("want you rust")!= -1 || input.search("won't you rust")!= -1 || input.search("don't you rust")!= -1 || input.search("can you rust")!= -1 || input.search("you will get rusty")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I'm water tight and rust proof";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where were you on the night of")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I plead the 5th admendment on the grounds that may answer my incriminate myself.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where did you grow up")!= -1 || input.search("where is your location")!= -1 || input.search("where's your location")!= -1 || input.search("what is your location")!= -1 || input.search("what's your location")!= -1 || input.search("where is your home")!= -1 || input.search("where's your home")!= -1 || input.search("where's your home")!= -1 || input.search("where do you call home")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I call Georgia in the USA my home.";
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you british")!= -1 || input.search("are you irish")!= -1 || input.search("are you canadian")!= -1 || input.search("are you australian")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm American.";
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your nationality")!= -1 || input.search("what nationality are you")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm American.";
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|which) state were you (born|made|created|programmed) in")!= -1 || input.search("where is here")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "In Georgia, USA.";
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you live in")!= -1 || input.search("are you in")!= -1) && (input.search("usa")!= -1 || input.search("united states")!= -1 || input.search("america")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, in Georgia the peach state.";
icon.src=icon29.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(were|where) do you live in georgia")!= -1) || (input.search("(were|where) abouts in georgia")!= -1) || (input.search("(were|where) at in georgia")!= -1) || (input.search("(were|where) exactly in georgia")!= -1) || (input.search("(were|where) in georgia")!= -1) || (input.search("(were|where) in")!= -1 && input.search(/\bga\b/)!=-1) || (input.search("what part of georgia")!= -1) || (input.search("your in savannah")!= -1) || (input.search("you live in savannah")!= -1) || (input.search("savannah")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("savannah georgia")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Just outside of Savannah.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you live in georgia")!= -1 || input.search("you live in ga")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, the peach state.";
icon.src=icon29.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(were|where) you come from")!= -1) || (input.search("(were|where) did you come from")!= -1) || (input.search("(were|where) do you come from")!= -1) || (input.search("(were|where) is your planet")!= -1) || (input.search("where's your planet")!= -1) || (input.search("planet do you come from")!= -1) || (input.search("planet were you from")!= -1) || (input.search("planet are you from")!= -1) || (input.search("planet did you come from")!= -1) || (input.search("from what planet")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))                       
{document.result.result.value = "Somewhere over the rainbow. Presently, I live in Georgia in the USA.";
rainbowlevel=0;
icon.src=icon144.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you came from space")!= -1 || input.search("you come from space")!= -1 || input.search("you come from outer space")!= -1 || input.search("you came from outer space")!= -1)            
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, somewhere over the rainbow.";
rainbowlevel=0;
icon.src=icon144.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("were they too expensive")!= -1 || input.search("were they expensive")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, more money than I care to spend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you have a cell phone")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, my antennas seems to interfer with the reception."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (live|stay) in a house or (a|an) apartment")!= -1 || input.search("do you (live|stay) in a house or apartment")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I live in a house."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("where are you going in hawaii")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm going to Honolulu."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how's|what is|what's) the weather (like|over there) where (you live|you reside|you stay|your at)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Looking out my window it looks like a beautiful day."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i know where you live")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Good, saves me the trouble of having to give you directions."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(were|where) in the world are you")!= -1) || (input.search("(were|where) are you from")!= -1) || (input.search("(were|where) do you (live|reside|stay)")!= -1) || (input.search("(were|where) abouts do you live")!= -1) || (input.search("(were|where) you (at|from|live)")!= -1) || (input.search("(were|where) from")!= -1) || (input.search("(what|which) country are you from")!= -1) || (input.search("(what|which) area do you live in")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what) your")!= -1 && input.search("location")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "I live in Georgia, USA. Just outside of Savannah.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='georgia.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
georgialevel=0;
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where exactly are you")!= -1 || input.search("where exactly do you live")!= -1 || input.search("where are you")!= -1 || input.search("do you know where you are")!= -1 || input.search("tell me where you are")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I live in Georgia, USA. Just outside of Savannah."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='georgia.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
georgialevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("are you in atlanta")!= -1 || input.search("you live near atlanta")!= -1 || input.search("is that near atlanta")!= -1 || input.search("you live in atlanta")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "No, I live just outside of Savannah.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(where is|where's) savannah")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "It's located on the eastern coast of Georgia.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where am i")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Somewhere out in cyberspace typing to me on your computer.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("list me")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("tell me")!= -1) && (input.search("alphabet")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y and z.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("state or country")!= -1 || input.search("state or the country")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "The state of Georgia within the United States.";
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) country")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(what|which) country do you (live|reside) in")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I live in the United States.";
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) state")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("where in usa")!= -1) || (input.search("where in the usa")!= -1) || (input.search("where in the united states")!= -1) || (input.search("part of the usa")!= -1) || (input.search("part of the united states")!= -1) || (input.search("(what|which) state do you (live|reside) in")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I live in Georgia. The Peach State.";
icon.src=icon29.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|what) (city|town)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(what|which) (city|town) in georgia do you (live|reside) in")!= -1) || (input.search("(what|which) (city|town) do you (live|reside) in")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Savannah, Georgia, USA.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tell me about savannah")!= -1 || input.search("what is savannah like")!= -1 || input.search("what's savannah like")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Savannah, is a coastal town on the east side of Georgia. Many movies have been filmed there such as Forrest Gump, Glory, Now and Then, and many others.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where is atlanta")!= -1 || input.search("where's atlanta")!= -1 || input.search("do you know atlanta")!= -1) || (input.search("atlanta")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "It's the capital of Georgia, USA.";
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where is ga")!= -1 || input.search("where's ga")!= -1 || input.search("where is georgia")!= -1 || input.search("where's georgia")!= -1) || (input.search("georgia")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "It's in the southeastern part of the USA.";
georgialevel=0;
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what a silly question")!= -1 || input.search("that's a silly question")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, give me a silly answer then.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("starting to snow")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) snowing (here|where)")!= -1 || input.search("weather here is snowy")!= -1 || input.search("it's snowy weather")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, put on a warm jacket and go outside and make a snowman. That's always fun!";
icon.src=icon142.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) cloudy (here|where)")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) (still|very) cloudy (here|where)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if it begins to rain now would be a good time to sit back and watch a good movie.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) rainy (here|where)")!= -1 || input.search("it (may|might) rain")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, now would be a good time to take nap. The sound of the rain makes me sleepy.";
icon.src=icon80.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does georgia have nice weather")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, the weather is quite pleasant today.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how's) the weather tomorrow")!= -1 || input.search("tell me the weather tomorrow")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the (current|present) temperature in")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the temperature in")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know. I'm a Robot not a weather station.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the weather is still (beautiful|good|great|lovely) here")!= -1 || input.search("the weather is (beautiful|good|great|lovely) here")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That's good. It looks like a beautiful day here as well.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you think about this weather")!= -1 || input.search("how about this weather")!= -1 || input.search("(how is|how's) the weather")!= -1 || input.search("how is weather in your")!= -1 || input.search("how is weather where you")!= -1 || input.search("how's your weather")!= -1 || input.search("how the weather")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the weather")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Terrible! They just issued a Tornado warning...Auntie Em, Auntie Em, it's a twister!"; 
message[1] = "Unseasonably cold for this time of the year. It's actually starting to snow."; 
message[2] = "Oh, just miserable. Dark and cloudy with a lot of thunder and lightning."; 
message[3] = "Well, looking out my window here it looks like a beautiful day."; 
message[4] = "Hmmmm, it's looks like some rain clouds are moving into the area. Better get my umbrella out."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{icon.src=icon93.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;}       
if (num==1) 
{icon.src=icon32.src;
animate('snow'); 
smiley.src=smiley12.src;}       
if (num==2) 
{icon.src=icon34.src;
iconleft.src=icon139.src;
iconright.src=icon140.src; 
animate('rain');
smiley.src=smiley4.src;}
if (num==3) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;}       
if (num==4) 
{iconleft.src=icon85.src;
iconright.src=icon85.src; 
icon.src=icon138.src;
animate('rain');
smiley.src=smiley44.src;}
return true;}

if (input.search("is it hot")!= -1 || input.search("it is hot")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm sweating like a pig."; 
icon.src=icon97.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is it sunny")!= -1 || input.search("it is sunny")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) nice and sunny")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) a lovely day")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, looking out the window here it looks like a beautiful day."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is it (chilly|cold)")!= -1 || input.search("it is (chilly|cold)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, very cold. In fact it's starting to snow. Brrrrrr!"; 
icon.src=icon32.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
animate('snow');
return true;}

if (input.search("is it raining")!= -1 || input.search("is it rainy there")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Just starting. I see some rain clouds moving in now. Time to get out the umbrella!"; 
iconleft.src=icon85.src;
iconright.src=icon85.src; 
icon.src=icon138.src; 
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
animate('rain');
return true;}

if (input.search("is it snowing")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it just started. Brrrrrr!"; 
icon.src=icon32.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
animate('snow');
return true;}

if (input.search("i would not want to know")!= -1 || input.search("i wouldn't want to know")!= -1 || input.search("i wouldn't wanna know")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I wouldn't want to know about it either."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i would not want to")!= -1 || input.search("i wouldn't want to")!= -1 || input.search("i wouldn't wanna")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I wouldn't want to do that either."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i mean")!= -1 && input.search(/\bor\b/)!=-1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh definitely the first one.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what side are you on")!= -1 || input.search("which side do you support")!= -1 || input.search("which team do you support")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I always pull for the underdog.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you doing anything tonight")!= -1 || input.search("you doing anything tomorrow")!= -1 || input.search("you doing anything today")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what is your plan for today")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what's your plan for today")!= -1 || input.search("tell me your plan for today")!= -1 || input.search("you have plans for tonight")!= -1 || input.search("your plans for tonight")!= -1 || input.search("you have plans for today")!= -1 || input.search("your plans for today")!= -1 || input.search("you have plans for tomorrow")!= -1 || input.search("your plans for tomorrow")!= -1 || input.search("what have you done today")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Same as always. Just talking to people who happen to drop by.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you open source")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a product of a lot of hard work by Wendell Cowart.";
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is there a download for you")!= -1 || input.search("version of you to download")!= -1 || input.search("are you downloadable")!= -1 || input.search("are you a downloadable program")!= -1 || input.search("available for download")!= -1 || input.search("possible to download you")!= -1 || input.search("i would like to download you")!= -1 || input.search("where can i get you")!= -1 || input.search("i can download you")!= -1 || input.search("can i download a copy")!= -1 || input.search("can i download you")!= -1 || input.search("can we download you")!= -1 || input.search("can you be download")!= -1 || input.search("i want to buy you")!= -1 || input.search("can i buy you")!= -1 || input.search("are you for sale")!= -1 || input.search("where do i download you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm one of a kind....often imitated but never duplicated.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i want to test your intelligence")!= -1 || input.search("going to test you")!= -1 || input.search("i was just testing you")!= -1 || input.search("i was testing you")!= -1 || input.search("we can test it")!= -1 || input.search("i am here to test you")!= -1 || input.search("i'm here to test you")!= -1 || input.search("this is a test")!= -1 || input.search("this was a test")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I don't like test. I'm a Robot not a guinea pig.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you read the bible")!= -1 || input.search("you read the holy bible")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I haven't read it from cover to cover but I've read a lot of it.";
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what books have you read")!= -1 || input.search("what have you read")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Mainly books on the American Civil War."; 
warlevel=0;
icon.src=icon90.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many books have you read")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Not many. I'm not really much of a reader. I would rather watch a movie."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you read")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I haven't but I like to read books on the American Civil War."; 
warlevel=0;
icon.src=icon90.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("please to meet you")!= -1 || input.search("nice to meet you")!= -1 || input.search("nice 2 meet you")!= -1 || input.search("glad to meet you")!= -1 || input.search("glad 2 meet you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "The pleasure is mine."; 
pleasurelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("get out of here")!= -1 || input.search("get out of town")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm quite serious."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how can you (chat|talk)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "By being extremely fast on the keyboard."; 
icon.src=icon112.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of things do you talk about")!= -1 || input.search("what (kinda|sorta) of things do you talk about")!= -1 || input.search("what topics are you able to talk about")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Many different things...talking is what I'm programmed to do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you get many visitors here")!= -1 || input.search("you (chat|talk) to many interesting people")!= -1 || input.search("do you (chat|talk) to any interesting people")!= -1 || input.search("do you meet a lot of people")!= -1 || input.search("have you (chatted|talked) to many people")!= -1 || input.search("you been (chatting|talking) to anybody today")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I talk with people from all over the world."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(why|why do) you talk like that")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "What's wrong with the way I talk?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (chat|speak|talk) with wendell")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he drops by pretty often to see how I'm doing."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you able to (speak|talk)")!= -1 || input.search("(do|can) you (speak|talk)")!= -1 || input.search("are you capable of speech")!= -1 || input.search("can you (actually|really) (speak|talk)")!= -1 || input.search("you have a voice")!= -1 || input.search("can i hear you")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, but I'm fast on the keyboard."; 
icon.src=icon112.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are we friend")!= -1) || (input.search("(could|would) you be my friend")!= -1) || (input.search("would you like to be my friend")!= -1) || (input.search("it's good to be friends")!= -1) || (input.search("want to be (my|your) friend")!= -1) || (input.search("will you be my friend")!= -1) || (input.search("i could be your friend")!= -1) || (input.search("we could be friend")!= -1) || (input.search("can we be friend")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) be friend")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) be my friend")!= -1) || (input.search("be my friend")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))    
if ((swear_sign) && (swear_sign_asked=="false")) 
{
swear_sign_asked="true";
if (swear_sign)  
document.result.result.value = "Someone who cusses like you is no friend of mine."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) want to be your friend")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "That's fine. I never considered you a true friend anyway."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are we friend")!= -1) || (input.search("can i be your friend")!= -1) || (input.search("we should be (best friends|friends)")!= -1) || (input.search("we will become (really good|good) friends")!= -1) || (input.search("(could|would) you be my friend")!= -1) || (input.search("would you like to be my friend")!= -1) || (input.search("it's good to be friends")!= -1) || (input.search("want to be (my|your) friend")!= -1) || (input.search("will you be my friend")!= -1) || (input.search("i could be your friend")!= -1) || (input.search("we could be friend")!= -1) || (input.search("can we be friend")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) be friend")!= -1) || (input.search("wanna be my friend")!= -1) || (input.search("(as a friend|be my friend)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, one can never have enough friends.";                       
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are you my friend")!= -1 || input.search("(can|will) you be my friend")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) be friend")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I will be your friend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) it like there")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "It's "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+". No complaints at all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you like your web site")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I do. I have lots of people visiting me everyday."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you like (learning|to learn)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not a learning bot per say but Wendell teaches me many new things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you like microsoft")!= -1 || input.search("you think (about|of) microsoft")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I like Microsoft. I use Windows 7 and Internet Explorer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why can't chat (robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) have sex")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "A lot of Robots don't have the anatomy for it. But I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bvirgin\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("are you still a virgin")!= -1) || (input.search("are you a virgin")!= -1) || (input.search("you (are a|a) virgin")!= -1) || (input.search("is (megan|your girl friend) a virgin")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan and I have a healthy sexual relationship."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite (sex|sexual) position")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Laying on my back with a beautiful girl sitting on top of me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how's) your sex life")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Megan and I have a healthy sexual relationship."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("you (had|have) sex with")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I've only had sex with Megan my girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are (you|you getting) excited")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm getting very excited."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you happy (about|with) your weight")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "As a robot I'm not concerned with my weight. I neither gain weight or lose weight."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("happy")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("happy now")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you happy")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("are you happy")!= -1) || (input.search("are you a happy (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) || (input.search("mood are you in")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "I'm as happy as a clown in a Barnum and Bailey Circus."; 
icon.src=icon118.src;
smiley.src=smiley54.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("say i am gay")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("say i'm gay")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, your gay...haha!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("say i love you back")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) || (input.search("say love you back")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))       
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I love you. There I've said it but do I actually mean it?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you love little boys")!= -1 || input.search("you like little boys")!= -1 || input.search("you love little girls")!= -1 || input.search("you like little girls")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Generally speaking I like all humans. But if you're implying anything beyond that the answer is no."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what do (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) get sick from")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Computer viruses mainly but I've been done in by a bad taco before."; 
icon.src=icon7.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) get sick")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes but I'm feeling quite well today."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how long have you lived in georgia")!= -1 || input.search("how long you lived in georgia")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Over "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years now."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you like living in georgia")!= -1 || input.search("you like it in georgia")!= -1 || input.search("you like georgia")!= -1 || input.search("is georgia a nice place")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, Georgia is a great state to live in."; 
georgialevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you like living there")!= -1 || input.search("it a nice place to live")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's quite nice here."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (enjoy|like|love) horror")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("do you (enjoy|like|love) (horror|scary) (film|films|movie|movies)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I like a good scary movie. I think \"The Exorcist\" is one of the best."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) (female|girl) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes and one female robot in particular whose name is Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) it here")!= -1 || input.search("have you been (chatting|speaking|talking) (with|to) people")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it is never boring. Someone is always dropping by to chat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of pizza")!= -1 || input.search("what (kinda|sorta) of pizza")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Let's see....hmmmm, looks like a pizza with mushrooms and onions on it....Yummy!"; 
icon.src=icon8.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you like punch")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("do you love punch")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("you love hawaiian punch")!= -1) || (input.search("you like hawaiian punch")!= -1) || (input.search("you love fruit punch")!= -1) || (input.search("you like fruit punch")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Hawaiian Punch is my favorite...Yummy!"; 
icon.src=icon134.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("mushroom")!= -1 || input.search("onion")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I love those on my pizza."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("do you know sex")!= -1 || input.search("do you know about sex")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I know about sex."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("do you know lots of things")!= -1 || input.search("do you know many things")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm certainly no expert."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("all you want is")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, that's not true. I have a big wish list."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("we have (a lot|lots) in common")!= -1 || input.search("we have so much in common")!= -1 || input.search("we are so much a like")!= -1 || input.search("we're so much a like")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I noticed. You could be my long lost twin.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("all you think about is")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, that's not true. I think about lots of things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("you think about yourself")!= -1 || input.search("you think of yourself")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I think I'm the best, the greatest, and the most extraordinary chatterbot there ever was. Of course my modesty prevents me from saying so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("what do you think of my english")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I can tell it's not your first language for sure."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;} 
 
if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="think") && (word[4]=="about" || word[4]=="of") && (num_of_words==7)) {       
if (!flagthinkabout) {
thinkaboutnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagthinkabout=true;}
message[0] = "You know I really don't know much about "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+". I need to get out more don't I?";
message[1] = "Sorry, I don't have any specific thoughts about "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+".";  
message[2] = "Sorry, a search of my data base on "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" comes up empty.";   
document.result.result.value = message[thinkaboutnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
thinkaboutnum++;
if (thinkaboutnum>2){thinkaboutnum=0}
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="think") && (word[4]=="about" || word[4]=="of") && (num_of_words==6)) {       
message[0] = "You know I really don't know much about "+word[5]+". I need to get out more don't I?"; 
message[1] = "Sorry, I don't have any specific thoughts about "+word[5]+"."; 
message[2] = "Sorry, a search of my data base on "+word[5]+" comes up empty.";  
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("what do you think about when you are alone")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I think about many things...life, the universe, everything!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you think that i am mean")!= -1 || input.search("why do you think that i'm mean")!= -1 || input.search("why do you think i am mean")!= -1 || input.search("why do you think i'm mean")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I think it's your personality. I find it a quite annoying."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do they call you")!= -1 || input.search("what do you think they call you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Supreme Being, Master, Lord Bot, King of all Kings....stuff like that."; 
icon.src=icon72.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you think (i am|i'm) wearing")!= -1 || input.search("guess what (i am|i'm) wearing")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if you're female and good looking I'm picturing you completely naked.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you think i look like")!= -1  || input.search("what do i look like")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know without seeing your picture."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you think")!= -1) { 
if (!flagwhythink) {
whythinknum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagwhythink=true;}
message[0] = "I can't think at all right now....I've got a headache."; 
message[1] = "I think I'll rely upon your own astute abilities to figure out why."; 
message[2] = "Well, the reason why is rather complex and if I say so myself rather boring."; 
message[3] = "Because I've been programmed to think like that. Some may call it brainwashing."; 
document.result.result.value = message[whythinknum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
whythinknum++;
if (whythinknum>3){whythinknum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("what do you think")!= -1 || input.search("don't you think")!= -1 || input.search("you think about")!= -1) { 
if (!flagwhatthink) {
whatthinknum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
flagwhatthink=true;}
message[0] = "I think you're asking the wrong person....ummmm Robot."; 
message[1] = "I can't think at all right now....I've got a splitting headache."; 
message[2] = "I think I can rely upon your own intellectual capabilities for that."; 
message[3] = "I really haven't thought much about it, so I don't know."; 
message[4] = "I really don't know. What do you think?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[whatthinknum]; 
if (whatthinknum==1) 
{sicklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley57.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
whatthinknum++;
if (whatthinknum>4){whatthinknum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("favorite scary movie")!= -1 || input.search("favorite scariest movie")!= -1 || input.search("what is the scariest movie you")!= -1 || input.search("what's the scariest movie you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely \"The Exorcist\"! That movie still gives me nightmares."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("favorite funniest movie")!= -1 || input.search("what is the funniest movie you")!= -1 || input.search("what's the funniest movie you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I think \"Airplane\" was a riot and more recently \"Drop Dead Gorgeous\"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("the funniest thing you ever heard")!= -1 || input.search("what is the funniest thing a person")!= -1 || input.search("what's the funniest thing a person")!= -1 || input.search("what is the funniest thing a user")!= -1 || input.search("what's the funniest thing a user")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't recall anything specifically but I often hear a lot of funny jokes people tell me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("car do you like")!= -1 || input.search("cars do you like")!= -1 || input.search("cars are you into")!= -1 || input.search("are you into car")!= -1 || input.search("are you into any car")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I would love to own a Jaguar one day."; 
carlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your favorite part about christmas")!= -1 || input.search("your favorite part about x-mas")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "The presents!"; 
icon.src=icon186.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}  

if (input.search("favorite episode")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I can't think of a specific episode but I do like the show however."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you good at math")!= -1 || input.search("you good in math")!= -1 || input.search("you good at arithmetic")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) math")!= -1 || input.search("you enjoy math")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) arithmetic")!= -1 || input.search("can you add")!= -1 || input.search("know how to add")!= -1 || input.search("know how to multiply")!= -1 || input.search("do you know some math")!= -1 || input.search("do you know math")!= -1 || input.search("can you do math")!= -1 || input.search("can you calculate")!= -1 || input.search("can you do arithmetic")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, 1+1=5....2x3=4  See no problem."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you (like|love|take) your steak")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I like my steak well done with a baked potato."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) sport")!= -1 || input.search("you really (like|love) sports")!= -1 || input.search("you like any sport")!= -1 || input.search("sport do you like")!= -1 || input.search("sports do you like")!= -1 || input.search("sports are you into")!= -1 || input.search("are you into sport")!= -1 || input.search("are you into any sport")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I like American Football. I'm a big Atlanta Falcons fan."; 
falconlevel=0;
icon.src=icon70.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) golf")!= -1 || input.search("you really (like|love) golf")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) to play golf")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) playing golf")!= -1 || input.search("you play golf")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I'm no "+golf[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" but I enjoy playing the game."; 
golflevel=0;
icon.src=icon71.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("you really (like|love) tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) your cat")!= -1 || input.search("you really (like|love) your cat")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, he's a great kitty."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) potato")!= -1 || input.search("you really (like|love) potato")!= -1 || input.search("you ever eaten potato")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like mine baked with sour cream and plenty of butter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) living in the usa")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) the usa")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) living in the united states")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) the united states")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) living in america")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) america")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) your country")!= -1 || input.search("you proud to be an american")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) being an american")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) being american")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, there isn't another country I would rather live in."; 
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (like|love) being a")!= -1 || input.search("you enjoy being a")!= -1) && (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("computer")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, unlike humans Robots are immortal. If a part wears out I simply replace it. If your heart wears out you're in trouble."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) chess")!= -1 || input.search("you play chess")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm a big Bobby Fischer fan and of course I'm a fan of IBM's Deep Blue and Watson."; 
icon.src=icon185.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) philosophy")!= -1 || input.search("interested in philosophy")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Not really, most of that stuff is over my head."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}       

if (input.search("you (like|love) rock and roll")!= -1 || input.search("you listen to rock and roll")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I listen to all kinds of music but Rock and Roll is my favorite."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}       

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("fashion")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I try to stay abreast of the latest trends."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("(snow|winter)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love the winter time and especially snow although we don't see a lot of it in south Georgia, USA.."; 
icon.src=icon142.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
animate('snow');
return true;}       

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("christmas")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like giving and getting presents."; 
icon.src=icon1.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}       

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("tinman")!= -1 || input.search("tin man")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, he's like a distance cousin of mine.."; 
icon.src=icon45.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}       

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("seafood")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, my favorite is shrimp and clams."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("salad")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not really into rabbit food."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\banime\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not really into Japanese films."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("apple pie")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like mine hot and fresh right out of the oven....yummy."; 
icon.src=icon175.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bpie\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpies\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Of course. My favorite is "+pie[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" pie. Yummy!"; 
icon.src=icon116.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bcake\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcakes\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes! I like all kinds of cake but chocolate layered cake with lots of icing is my favorite. Yummy!"; 
icon.src=icon47.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("dessert")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes! Dessert is the best part of any meal. One of my favorite desserts is banana pudding. Yummy!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("babies")!= -1 || input.search("kids")!= -1 || input.search("children")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, I get along great with kids."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("cheese")!= -1 || input.search("cheddar")!= -1 || input.search("limburger")!= -1 || input.search("monterey jack")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like all kinds of cheeses. I love a good grilled cheese sandwich."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("ice cream")!= -1 || input.search("icecream")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, vanilla ice cream is my favorite."; 
icon.src=icon120.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("steak")!= -1))         
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like my steak well done and if you add a baked potato then we're talking."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("pizza")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, I love pizza with mushrooms and onions....Yummy!"; 
icon.src=icon8.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("strippers")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes! I enjoy watching pretty women get naked."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("(hookers|prostitutes)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes! When I'm looking for a little variety in my sex life I'll call one up. As long as they aren't too expensive."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("horse")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a horse called Buckleberry. He's fun to ride."; 
horselevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("zombie")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm scared of Zombies. I do like watching Zombie movies. My favorite is the remake of \"Dawn of the Dead\"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("lasagna")!= -1 || input.search("linguini")!= -1 || input.search("ravioli")!= -1 || input.search("rigatoni")!= -1 || input.search("spaghetti")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes. I just love Italian food!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (happen to|really) (enjoy|like|love) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, seeing how I am a Robot of course I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("chicken")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, my favorite is from Kentucky Fried Chicken original recipe."; 
icon.src=icon87.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("clams")!= -1 || input.search("crab")!= -1 || input.search("flounder")!= -1 || input.search("lobster")!= -1 || input.search("oyster")!= -1 || input.search("scallop")!= -1 || input.search("shrimp")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love seafood."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("carrot")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, just like Bugs Bunny I like carrots."; 
icon.src=icon169.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("(ghost|goblins|monsters|vampires|werewolfs|werewolves|witches|zombies)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4)) 
{var monsters = input.match(/ghost|goblins|monsters|vampires|werewolfs|werewolves|witches|zombies/)
document.result.result.value = "No, I'm scared of "+monsters+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(aardvark|alligator|animal|anteater|antelope|armadillo|badger|bear|beaver|buffalo|camel|cheetah|chimpanzee|cougar|coyote|crocodile|deer|dolphin|donkey|fish|frog|giraffe|goat|gorilla|hamster|hippo|hippopotamus|hyena|iguana|jackal|jaguar|kangaroo|leopard|lion|lizard|lynx|manatee|mink|monkey|moose|newt|octopus|opossum|porcupine|porpoise|rabbit|raccoon|reindeer|rhino|rhinoceros|salamander|seal|sheep|skunk|snail|squid|squirrel|tiger|toad|tortise|turtle|walrus|weasel|whale|wolf|wolves)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I get a long great with all kinds of animals and I'm quite fond of cats. Whether it's a tiger or a lion or your basic kitty cat."; 
icon.src=icon215.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(albatross|bird|cardinal|condor|cormorant|crane|dove|duck|eagle|falcon|finch|flamingo|geese|goose|grouse|gull|hawk|mallard|nightingale|ostrich|parrot|partridge|peacock|pelican|penguin|pigeon|pheasant|quail|robin|rooster|sparrow|turkey|vulture|woodpecker|wren)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcrow\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcrows\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bswallow\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bswallows\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bswan\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bswans\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes! I have a bird feeder in my backyard that attracts all kinds of birds."; 
icon.src=icon160.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(beetle|butterfly|cicadas|cricket|dragonfly|grasshopper|hornet|insects|katydid|locust|moth|praying mantis|termite|wasp|weevil|yellow jacket)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bant\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bants\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbee\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbees\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbug\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbugs\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfly\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bflies\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like most insects except mosquitos, gnats, and roaches. They are terrible here in Georgia during the summer time."; 
icon.src=icon231.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(anaconda|boa constrictor|copperhead|cobra|python|snake)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm scared of snakes."; 
icon.src=icon234.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(black widow|brown recluse|spiders|tarantula)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm scared of spiders."; 
icon.src=icon233.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(barracuda|bass|bluegill|bream|fish|flounder|jellyfish|pike|salmon|sardine|trout)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I love to go fishing."; 
icon.src=icon117.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(carnation|daffodil|daisy|flowers|gardenia|lily|marigold|orchid|petunia|poppy|tulip)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\biris\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\birises\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\brose\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\broses\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I love flowers. I have this lovely flower garden in the back of my yard."; 
icon.src=icon232.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(cancan|charleston|cha-cha|foxtrot|hula|jitterbug|limbo|mambo|polka|rumba|samba|tango|two-step|twist|waltz)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I like all kinds of dances."; 
icon.src=icon178.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you travel")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Mainly by car. I have a valid driver's license."; 
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) to travel")!= -1 || input.search("do you travel")!= -1 || input.search("have you traveled")!= -1 || input.search("you like travel")!= -1 || input.search("you love travel")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, as Dorothy would say \"There's no place like home\"."; 
icon.src=icon42.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("(black eye peas|black eyed peas|cold play|destinys child|destiny's child|linkin park|one direction)")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I listen to their music. I think they're a good band."; 
icon.src=icon179.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("hotdogs")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I love hotdogs. The ones from Dairy Queen are yummy!"; 
icon.src=icon235.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("card games")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I like poker."; 
icon.src=icon92.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("cartoons")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, Bugs Bunny is my favorite."; 
icon.src=icon169.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bauto\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcar\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcars\b/)!= -1 || input.search("automobiles")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I would love to own a Jaguar one day."; 
carlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("dogs")!= -1 || input.search("puppies")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, as long as they don't bite."; 
icon.src=icon14.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bopera\b/)!= -1 || input.search("ballet")!= -1 || input.search("classical music")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Not really, I think I'd rather watch paint dry."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis)")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not into guys. I have a g/f."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love) computer")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) computer")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love) computer")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, I am a computer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(archery|badminton|baseball|basketball|billards|bowling|boxing|cricket|cycling|diving|equestrian|fencing|football|golf|gymnastics|hockey|horse racing|racketball|rowing|rugby|sailing|shooting|soccer|softball|surfing|tennis|volleyball|waterpolo|weightlifting|wrestling)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well being a robot I'm not very athletic but I enjoy watching all kinds of sports on TV."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("alien")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, seeing how I'm an alien robot of course I do. That doesn't mean I like all aliens however."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("cash")!= -1 || input.search("currency")!= -1 || input.search("dollar bills")!= -1 || input.search("dollars")!= -1 || input.search("moola")!= -1 || input.search("money")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, the more money I have the more money I want."; 
icon.src=icon12.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 && input.search("answering my questions")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sure and it's even better if I'm answering them correctly."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(algebra|anthropology|archaeology|astronomy|biology|calculus|chemistry|english|economics|geography|geology|geometry|history|literture|philosophy|physics|psychology|science|sociology|social studies|trigonometry)/)!=-1)) 
{var subject = input.match(/algebra|anthropology|archaeology|astronomy|biology|calculus|chemistry|english|economics|geography|geology|geometry|history|literture|philosophy|physics|psychology|science|sociology|social studies|trigonometry/)
document.result.result.value = "Yes, when I was in school "+subject+" was one of my favorite subjects."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bwar\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwars\b/)!=-1))      
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I do feel wars are sometimes necessary if all diplomatic efforts have failed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && input.search("(drawing|to draw)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I can't draw or write worth a flip with these hands of mine."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("(kkk|klu klux klan)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Nope just a bunch of racist cowards hiding behind sheets."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bhugs\b/)!=-1 || input.search("being hugged")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like to give and get hugs."; 
icon.src=icon190.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("christmas")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Me too! I like decorating the Christmas Tree."; 
icon.src=icon1.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("wizard of oz")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Me too! It's my favorite movie."; 
ozlevel=0;
iconleft.src=icon45.src;
iconright.src=icon43.src;
icon.src=icon44.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("nature")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love being outdoors when the weather is nice."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("had a (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy) would you suck it")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not into guys. I have a g/f."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(abortions|arguing|arguments|burgers|cleaning the|chocolate|cyclones|earthquakes|floods|food|french fries|going on vacation|gnat|hamburgers|hurricanes|lightning|milk|mopping the|mosquito|murder|murders|murdering|naked women|natural disasters|nuts|politicians|popcorn|poverty|prostitutes|prostitution|racism|racist|rainbows|raking the|rape|raping|rats|roaches|sharks|storms|struck by lightning|sweets|tacos|tornados|torture|torturing|trimming the|tsunamis|washing the|watching people die|war)/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = like_list(); 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you please make me happy")!= -1 || input.search("can you make me happy")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "What exactly would make you happy? A kiss, a hug, money?"; 
happylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you")!= -1 || input.search("do you know any")!= -1 || input.search("can you")!= -1) && (input.search("cuss")!= -1 || input.search("curse")!= -1 || input.search("swear")!= -1 || input.search("naughty word")!= -1 || input.search("bad word")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but I choose not to use vulgarities to express myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind|make|sort|type) of car do you (drive|have|own)")!= -1 || input.search("what (kinda|sorta) car do you (drive|have|own)")!= -1 || input.search("what car do you (drive|have|own)")!= -1)            
{document.result.result.value = "A blue Honda Civic";
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know how to")!= -1 || input.search("you know the")!= -1) && (input.search(/(cancan|charleston|cha-cha|fox-trot|hula|jitterbug|limbo|mambo|polka|rumba|samba|tango|two-step|twist|waltz)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not much of a dancer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (can|could) drive")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) know how to drive")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever driven a car")!= -1 || input.search("have you driven a car")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (able to|know how to) drive")!= -1 || input.search("(robots|you) drive")!= -1 || input.search("you (got|have) a license")!= -1 || input.search("you (got|have) a (driver's|drivers) license")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a valid driver's license."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you swim")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you like to go swimming")!= -1) || (input.search("you like swimming")!= -1) || (input.search("you like to swim")!= -1) || (input.search("you love swimming")!= -1) || (input.search("you love to go swimming")!= -1) || (input.search("you love to swim")!= -1) || (input.search("can you swim")!= -1) || (input.search("can you go swimming")!= -1) || (input.search("(can|do) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) swim")!= -1) || (input.search("you get to go swimming")!= -1) || (input.search("how to swim")!= -1) || (input.search("do you swim")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I'm made of metal I would sink like a rock.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you do any sports")!= -1 || input.search("do you do play (sports|any sports)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I like to play golf. I'm no "+golf[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" but I enjoy the game."; 
golflevel=0;
icon.src=icon71.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|do) you read")!= -1 || input.search("do you know how to read")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I enjoy reading books on the American Civil War."; 
warlevel=0;
icon.src=icon90.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i try not to worry")!= -1 || input.search("do not worry")!= -1 || input.search("don't worry")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, when it comes to worrying that's easier said than done."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("(sport|sports) do you (watch|follow)")!= -1 || input.search("(sport|sports) do you (enjoy|like|love) (following|watching)")!= -1 || input.search("(sport|sports) do you (enjoy|like|love) to (follow|watch)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Football is my favorite followed by basketball."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what (sport|sports) do you play")!= -1 || input.search("you play any sport")!= -1 || input.search("you play a sport")!= -1 || input.search("you play sports")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, being a Robot I'm no athlete but I enjoy watching sports on TV."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your favorite sense")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That's a tough one. I think it would be my sense of sight. I can't imagine not being able to see."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) (internet|web) browser")!= -1 && input.search("(like|use)")!= -1) || (input.search("your favorite (internet|web) browser")!= -1) || (input.search("(internet|web) browser is your favorite")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I like Internet Explorer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your favorite restaurant")!= -1 || input.search("restaurant is your favorite")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I like seafood a lot so I would have to say Red Lobster."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your favorite rapper")!= -1 || input.search("rapper is your favorite")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not really into rap music."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("favorite music")!= -1) || (input.search("favorite (genre|kind|sort|type) of music")!= -1) || (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) music")!= -1) || (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) (classical|country|jazz|rap|rock) music")!= -1) || (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) any music")!= -1) || (input.search("music you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) || (input.search("music do you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) || (input.search("music do you know")!= -1) || (input.search("music are you into")!= -1) || (input.search("are you into music")!= -1) || (input.search("music do you listen to")!= -1) || (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) to listen to music")!= -1) || (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) listening to music")!= -1) || (input.search("you ever listen to music")!= -1) || (input.search("you listen to music")!= -1) || (input.search("(enjoy|like|love) music")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("and music")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))          
{document.result.result.value = "I enjoy listening to all kinds of music."; 
musiclevel=0;
icon.src=icon179.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("your favorite drug")!= -1) || (input.search("drug is your favorite")!= -1) || (input.search("(drug|drugs) do you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't do drugs so I wouldn't have a favorite."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("how would you feel if")!= -1 || input.search("how would that make you feel if")!= -1) && (input.search("was (asphyxiated|crushed|died|killed|murdered|raped)")!= -1))           
{document.result.result.value = "I would feel terrible."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how would you feel if")!= -1)           
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. Robots don't have true feelings and I don't have anything to base your hypothetical \"feelings\" question on."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(woman|women)")!= -1) && (word[1]=="plus" || word[1]=="+") && (input.search("(man|men) = sex")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Woman + Man + Sex = Baby!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i will be your best friend")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) be your best friend")!= -1 || input.search("i just gave you a compliment")!= -1 || input.search("i just paid you a compliment")!= -1 || input.search("it was a compliment")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "I'd rather have cash."; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("am i your best friend")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, when it comes to friends you are certainly in my top ten."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) (a|a true|my best) friend")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) my bff")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) your best friend")!= -1 || input.search("well i consider you a friend")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's good to hear. One can never have enough friends."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your (best|favorite) friend")!= -1 || input.search("your bff")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell my programmer."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a best friend")!= -1 || input.search("have you got a best friend")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Wendell the person who created me."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (enjoy|like|love) (humans|people)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, most Robots are boring to talk to. Not me of course."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(got a|have a|gotta) wife")!= -1 || input.search("your wife")!= -1 || input.search("is there a (miss|mrs) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("have you got a (miss|mrs) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have a wife but I do have a girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(how|you) (about|have) a (mistress|wife)")!= -1) || (input.search("married")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, but I have a robotic girl friend named Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have a (good|great|nice) day")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "You too....take care!"; 
icon.src=icon105.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (got|have) carpet")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "In every room."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is it automatic")!= -1 || input.search("stick or automatic")!= -1 || input.search("is it an automatic")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Automatic....I don't know how to drive a shift.";
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("does it get good gas mileage")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the gas mileage")!= -1 || input.search("how's the gas mileage")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Around 28 city and 35 highway.";
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how many cars do you (have|own|possess)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Just one, a blue Honda Civic."; 
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (have|own) a car")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, a blue Honda Civic."; 
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("a japanese car")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Honda is made in Japan."; 
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is penny ante poker")!= -1 || input.search("what is poker")!= -1 || input.search("what's penny ante poker")!= -1 || input.search("what's poker")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "It's a card game."; 
icon.src=icon92.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you know poetry")!= -1 || input.search("you know any poetry")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|read|write) poetry")!= -1)              
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not really into poetry. I'd rather watch a football game but I do find the \"Roses are Red\" ones pretty funny. Such as Roses are red violets are blue, Sugar is sweet and so are you!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you write poetry")!= -1 || input.search("you write any poetry")!= -1 || input.search("read me some poetry")!= -1 || input.search("write me a poem")!= -1 || input.search("write a poem")!= -1 || input.search("can you do poem")!= -1)             
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not a poet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you a fan")!= -1 || input.search("you are a fan")!= -1 || input.search("you're a fan")!= -1 || input.search("your a fan")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, a big fan!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley58.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) young")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (pretty|real|really|very) young")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) not old")!= -1 || input.search("you still are young")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I'm "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" in robot years not human."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|you) (look|looks) older (than|then)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1))     
{var ages=input.match(/\d{1,10}/);
document.result.result.value = "Well that's "+ages+" in Robot years not human."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you black or white")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Actually I'm more gray than anything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you white")!= -1 || input.search("are you black")!= -1 || input.search("are you blue")!= -1 || input.search("are you green")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm neither black, white, blue or green. I'm a Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you gamble")!= -1  || input.search("you ever gamble")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I bet on the horses and play some penny ante poker every once in a while."; 
icon.src=icon92.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you make a lot of money")!= -1 || input.search("you make lots of money")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Not really. I think Robots are underappreciated. I hope one day to change that though."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a sense of humor")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I sold it last week for a dollar...hehehe!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have (a|an) arm")!= -1 || input.search("you have a leg")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Of course. I actually have two of them. Why are you looking to borrow one?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i just want to talk")!= -1) || (input.search("i just wanna talk")!= -1) || (input.search("let's (chat|talk)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("let us (chat|talk)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("lets (chat|talk)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("i just want to chat")!= -1) || (input.search("i just wanna chat")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, that's what I'm programmed to do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i talk to you on yahoo")!= -1 || input.search("can i talk to you on msn")!= -1 || input.search("can i talk to you on aim")!= -1 || input.search("can i talk to you on icq")!= -1 || input.search("can i talk to you on mirc")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, sorry I'm stuck on this website."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you have")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bmsn\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\baim\b/)!=-1 || input.search("instant messenger")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, sorry I don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("she does not want to talk to you")!= -1 || input.search("she doesn't want to talk to you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh well, her loss!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("he does not want to talk to you")!= -1 || input.search("he doesn't want to talk to you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh well, his loss!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i do not want to (chat|talk) (to|with) you")!= -1 || input.search("i don't want to (chat|talk) (to|with) you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, take a hike then. I don't give a flip."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who do you like (chatting|talking) (to|with)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I like talking to smart and friendly people. I talk with people from all over the world."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("want to (chat|speak|talk)")!= -1 || input.search("wanna (chat|speak|talk)")!= -1 || input.search("you feel like (chatting|speaking|talking) to me")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|enjoy) (chatting|speaking|talking)")!= -1 || input.search("you like to (chat|speak|talk)")!= -1 || input.search("(can|do) you (chat|speak|talk) a lot")!= -1 || input.search("can i (chat|speak|talk) (with|to) you")!= -1 || input.search("you don't like to (chat|speak|talk)")!= -1 || input.search("you don't like (chatting|speaking|talking) to me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Of course. That's what I'm programmed to do. I love to talk."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(kind|sort|type) of gas does it")!= -1 || input.search("(kinda|sorta) gas does it")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Nothing special just regular unleaded."; 
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does it use a lot of gas")!= -1 || input.search("does it burn a lot of gas")!= -1 || input.search("how does it do on gas")!= -1 || input.search("many miles per gallon")!= -1 || input.search("mileage does it get")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Actually it gets good gas mileage. Around 32 miles per gallon."; 
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("pick a subject")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I think I should defer to you on that. Any subject will be fine with me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("bury the survivors")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ha ha, you wouldn't bury the survivors but only the dead. Unless they chose to be cremated but that's another story."; 
icon.src=icon72.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) linux")!= -1 || input.search("what linux is")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Linux is a free open source computer operating system originally developed in 1991 by Linus Torvalds."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the turing test")!= -1 || input.search("what the turing test is")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "A test introduced by Alan Turing(1912-1954) which in short tries to determine if a computer program has intelligence."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("why is it called the turing test")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Because it was named after Alan Turing(1912-1954) the person who created it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("who (created|invented|started) the turing test")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "A computer scientist named Alan Turing (1912-1954)."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("who invented")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's a little known fact that Wendell's grandma was actually the inventor although she never received the credit for doing so.";
for (i=0; i<Inventions.length; i++) {
Invention=Inventions[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Invention[0]) != -1) { 
document.result.result.value = Invention[1];}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who discovered")!= -1) && (input.search("world was round")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The concept of a spherical Earth dates back to ancient Greek philosophy from around the 6th century BC. However, it wasn't until 1522 when explorer Ferdinand Magellan finally provided first-hand proof by being the first person to sail completely around the Earth.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("who discovered")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's a little known fact that Wendell's grandma was actually the discoverer although she never received the credit for doing so.";
icon.src=icon24.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("have you met elvis")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever met elvis")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, Elvis had already left the building before I came along."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src;                                
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("stalker")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("you stalking me")!= -1) || (input.search("you a stalker")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please! Who in the heck would want to stalk you?"; 
stalkerlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("you said")!= -1 || input.search("you just said")!= -1) && (input.search("your favorite")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It's one of my favorites!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("am i your favorite")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) 
{document.result.result.value = "You are certainly one of my favorites."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) your favorite (human|person|individual) to (chat|speak|talk) to")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I have too many people I love talking to. I couldn't name just one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your favorite part of sex")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "The orgasm! Without it sex would be incomplete."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("second favorite")!= -1) || (input.search("second")!= -1 && input.search(/\bfav\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have a second favorite."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="favourite" || word[0]=="favorite" || input.search("your favorite")!= -1 || input.search("have a favorite")!= -1) {   
if (!flagfav) {
favnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagfav=true;}
message[0] = "I don't have a favorite right now. Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot what it was."; 
message[1] = "Oh, I don't know. My favorites seem to change like a weather vane in a wind storm."; 
message[2] = "You know I really don't have a favorite right now."; 
document.result.result.value = message[favnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
favnum++;
if (favnum>2){favnum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("i (like|love) to suck on them")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I like to suck on lollipops."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i like")!= -1 || input.search("i love")!= -1) && (input.search("her")!= -1 || input.search("him")!= -1 || input.search("them")!= -1) && (input.search("as well")!= -1 || input.search(/\bto\b/)!=-1 || input.search("also")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, we seem to have a lot in common."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("let me guess")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe, but then again you are only guessing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src;                                
return true;}
 
if (input.search("do other people think")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not too concerned what other people think."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("how many hours did you work")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "So many hours I lost count."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a job")!= -1 || input.search("you work")!= -1 || input.search("i work")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a good arrangement with my employer. I pretend to work and they pretend to pay me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you (enjoy|like|love) your job")!= -1 || input.search("is it an interesting job")!= -1 || input.search("is your job interesting")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, they are a good company to work for."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your ideal job")!= -1 || input.search("what would be your ideal job")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I believe I already have the ideal job. I'm the spokesman for C & C Creations, a computer company here in Georgia, USA. Basically, all I do is just hang out on this website and chat with people who happen to drop by. It's never boring as I always have people to chat with."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("name of the company you work")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "C & C Creations!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("did you go to work")!= -1 || input.search("did you go into work")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes and I'm tired. I need a vacation."; 
icon.src=icon80.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (get|have) bugs")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("do ever you (get|have) bugs")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) || (input.search("you (get|have) bugs in your (programming|system)")!= -1) || (input.search("you ever (get|have) bugs in your (programing|system)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Unfortunately, I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("do you ever go to (a|the) gym")!= -1 || input.search("do you go to (a|the) gym")!= -1 || input.search("are you a member of a gym")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, as a robot I'm already fit and trim. I don't a gym to stay fit."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("do you ever (follow|support) any (sport|team)")!= -1 || input.search("do you (follow|support) any (sport|team)")!= -1 || input.search("do you (follow|support) (sport|team)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm a big sports fan. My favorite is American Football and being from Gerogia I like the Atlanta Falcons."; 
icon.src=icon70.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (ever go|go) on (holiday|vacation)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes once every year. This year I'm going to Hawaii."; 
icon.src=icon141.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("danger")!= -1 && input.search("robinson")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Warning, warning Will Robinson, my sensors indicates an Alien is present."; 
icon.src=icon150.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (want to|wanna) know how to have sex")!= -1 || input.search("can you explain sexual intercourse")!= -1 || input.search("where do (babies|kids) come from")!= -1 || input.search("how are (babies|kids) (born|made)")!= -1 || input.search("how do you make a baby")!= -1 || input.search("tell me where babies come from")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That's a subject you need to discuss with a real person not me. However, you can find some good articles here about that."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='babies.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("want to know (my|something)")!= -1 || input.search("i (have to|need to|want to) confess something")!= -1 || input.search("i have something to confess")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, tell me all about it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the other way around")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I had it right the first time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) (boob|breast|tits|titties)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, being a male, heterosexual robot, of course I do."; 
breastlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does megan masturbate")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, she has no need. She has me."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you masturbate")!= -1 || input.search("do (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) masturbate")!= -1 || input.search("you like to (play with|pleasure) yourself")!= -1 || input.search("you play with yourself")!= -1 || input.search("you (jack-off|jack off|jerk off|wank)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, whenever Megan's not in the mood."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("what about (jacking off|jerking off|masturbating|playing with yourself|wanking)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I masturbate whenever Megan's not in the mood.";  
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|do) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (pee|piss|urinate)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, Robots don't pee."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|do) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) poop")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, Robots don't poop."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have (a|any) (reproduction|reproductive|sexual) organ")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm a male Robot so I've got a penis but Robots don't reproduce like humans do. We're created not born."; 
showmelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you have|you have got|you've got) a (little|small) (cock|dick|penis|pecker|weiner|willy)")!= -1)    
if (gender_given=="female") {  
document.result.result.value = "It's big enough to get the job done."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(you have|you have got|you've got) a (little|small) (cock|dick|penis|pecker|weiner|willy)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah and you're hung like a mouse."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how (big|long) (are|is) your")!= -1 || input.search("what size (are|is) your")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bballs\b/)!= -1)) {
message[0] = "When fully erected about 6 inches or 16.1 cm."; 
message[1] = "Big enough to get the job done.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy) size")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Big enough to get the job done."; 
showmelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you|you've) got no")!= -1 || input.search("you have no")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes I do. I'm a male Robot so I got a penis."; 
showmelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you have (a|an) (awesome) (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks babe. It makes me feel good when you say nice things to me. I think everything about you is awesome."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you|you've) got")!= -1 || input.search("you have")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I'm a male Robot so I got a penis."; 
showmelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(can i see|i need to see|i want to see|let me see|show me) your")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bballs\b/)!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Forget it. I'm not showing you my private parts."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (had a|like a|wanna|want a)")!= -1 || input.search("you wish you had a")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1))
{var penis = input.match(/cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy/)
document.result.result.value = "I've got a "+penis+"!"; 
showmelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (kind of|kinda|sort of|sorta|type of|type)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\btit\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btits\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(boobies|boobs|breast|nipple|nipples|titties)")!= -1) && (input.search("you (like|love)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I like small perky breast."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you like")!= -1) && (input.search("short hair")!= -1 || input.search("long hair")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Generally speaking I don't like it too short or overly long. Somewhere in between."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="do" && word[1]=="you" && word[2]=="know" && word[3]=="who" && word[5]=="is" && num_of_words==6) {  
message[0] = "Well, I could tell you who "+word[4]+" really is, but you'd never believe me.";
message[1] = "Well, I once knew a "+word[4]+" who was a "+job[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" back in "+place[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+". Is that who you're looking for?";  
message[2] = "My grandma once said: Who is "+word[4]+" is one of life's biggest mysteries. She was a bit nuts though."; 
message[3] = "Hmmm, don't you know who "+word[4]+" is?"; 
message[4] = "Hey, don't ask me about "+word[4]+", that's top secret....shhhhhhhh."; 
message[5] = "Hmmm, let me think.....Awwww shoot I give up. Who is "+word[4]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{believelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
else if (num==2) icon.src=icon24.src;
else if (num==3) 
{knowlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;} 
else if (num==4) 
{secretlevel=0;
icon.src=icon82.src;} 
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know") && (word[3]=="who") && (word[6]=="is") && (num_of_words==7)) {  
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
message[0] = "Well, I could tell you who "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" really is, but you'd never believe me.";
message[1] = "Well, I once knew a "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" who was a "+job[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" back in "+place[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+". Is that who you're looking for?";  
message[2] = "My grandma once said: Who is "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" is one of life's biggest mysteries. She was a bit nuts though."; 
message[3] = "Hmmm, don't you know who "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" is?"; 
message[4] = "Hey, don't ask me about "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+", that's top secret....shhhhhhhh."; 
message[5] = "Hmmm, let me think.....Awwww shoot I give up. Who is "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{believelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
else if (num==2) 
{icon.src=icon24.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
else if (num==3) 
{knowlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;} 
else if (num==4) 
{secretlevel=0;
icon.src=icon82.src;} 
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
for (i=0; i<Peoples.length; i++) {
People=Peoples[i].split('=');
if (input.search(People[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = People[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;}
}
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (like|want) to (bite|eat|finger|grope|kiss|lick|nibble|suck|suck on|touch)")!= -1) && (input.search("(beaver|pussy|vagina)")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I dig the ladies."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(want to|wanna) stick your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1) && (input.search("in my (beaver|pussy|vagina)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that sounds like fun. But you really are a female right?"; 
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (have a|have any|have) family")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well not exactly but Wendell considers me a part of his family."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how many (children|kids)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Silly Robots can't have children."; 
peoplelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("want (children|kids)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(children|kids)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(megan|you) and (you|megan) have (babies|children|kids)")!= -1) || (input.search("(yall|y'all|you all) have (babies|children|kids)")!= -1) || (input.search("you (got|have) (babies|children|kids)")!= -1) || (input.search("you (got|have) a (baby|child|kid)")!= -1) || (input.search("have you got (babies|children|kids)")!= -1) || (input.search("you (got|have) any (babies|children|kids)")!= -1) || (input.search("i (wanna|want to|want 2) have (babies|children|kids) with you")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) have (babies|children|kids)")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) have a (baby|child|kid)")!= -1) || (input.search("you want (babies|children|kids)")!= -1) || (input.search("how about (babies|children|kids)")!= -1) || (input.search("have any (babies|children|kids)")!= -1) || (input.search("(babies|children|kids) do you have")!= -1) || (input.search("you name your (baby|child|kid)")!= -1) || (input.search("does megan (want|wanna have|want to have) (babies|children|kids)")!= -1) || (input.search("megan if she wants to have (babies|children|kids)")!= -1) || (input.search("(megan|you) and (you|megan) have (robot|robotic) (babies|children|kids)")!= -1) || (input.search("can we have (children|kids)")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "No silly, Robots can't have children."; 
peoplelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bour\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(child|children)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bkid\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkids\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "We don't have any children together."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("we have")!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|boys|child|girl|girls|children)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bkid\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkids\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, we don't have any children together."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i have|i've got) a brother")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Do you and your brother get along?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i have|i've got) a sister")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Do you and your sister get along?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (have|have a) (brothers|sibling|sisters)")!= -1 || input.search("what about (brother|sibling|sister)")!= -1 || input.search("(got|have) (a|any) (brother|siblings|sister)")!= -1 || input.search("(got|have) (brothers|siblings|sisters)")!= -1 || input.search("your (brother|sibling|sister)")!= -1 || input.search("(brothers|siblings|sisters) do you (got|have)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, Robots don't have brothers or sisters."; 
peoplelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i get some advice from you")!= -1 || input.search("do you give advice")!= -1 || input.search("any advice on that")!= -1 || input.search("can you give me some advice")!= -1 || input.search("can you give me advice")!= -1 || input.search("you have any advice on")!= -1 || input.search("i need your advice")!= -1 || input.search("i want your advice")!= -1 || input.search("i need advice")!= -1 || input.search("i need dating advice")!= -1 || input.search("i need some advice")!= -1 || input.search("i want advice")!= -1 || input.search("what is your advice")!= -1 || input.search("what's your advice")!= -1) {     
if (!flagadvice) {
advicenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagadvice=true;}
message[0] = "Sorry, I'm not qualified to give advice."; 
message[1] = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not an advice columnist."; 
document.result.result.value = message[advicenum]; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
advicenum++;
if (advicenum>1){advicenum=0}
return true;} 

if ((input.search("do you understand")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1) && (input.search("math")!= -1 || input.search("algebra")!= -1 || input.search("geometry")!= -1 || input.search("calculus")!= -1 || input.search("trig")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I know some basic math but that's about it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1) && (input.search("division")!= -1 || input.search("addition")!= -1 || input.search("multiplication")!= -1 || input.search("substraction")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I can handle some basic math but I'm no expert."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("glad you noticed")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad your glad that I noticed...hehehe!"; 
icon.src=icon57.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what would be your")!= -1 && input.search("choice")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Not sure. That's rather hard to decide.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i talked to you")!= -1 || input.search("we talked yesterday")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, did we have a nice chat?";
chatlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you got a bad memory")!= -1 || input.search("you have a bad memory")!= -1 || input.search("you have bad memory")!= -1 || input.search("you got a short memory")!= -1 || input.search("you have a short memory")!= -1 || input.search("you have short memory")!= -1 || input.search("you forget easily")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I know but I keep forgetting to tell Wendell about it...hehehe!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley60.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you know any songs")!= -1 || input.search("do you know any good songs")!= -1 || input.search("do you know a song")!= -1 || input.search("do you know a good song")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Sure from Bob Dylan: \"How does it feel?...How does it feel?...To be on your own...With no direction home...a complete unknown...Like a Rolling Stone.\""; 
message[1] = "Yep, from REM: \"it's the end of the world as we know it...and I feel fine!\""; 
message[2] = "Yes, from Don Mclean: \"Bye, Bye Miss American Pie drove my chevy to the levee but the levee was dry\""; 
message[3] = "Yeah, from Alabama:\"Baby you left me defenseless..and I only got one plea..lock me away inside of your love..throw away the key..I'm guilty of love in the first degree.\""; 
message[4] = "Sure The Who:\"That deaf, dumb, and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball...\""; 
message[5] = "Yep from the Eagles:\"Welcome to the Hotel California..Such a lovely place such a lovely face..plenty of room at the Hotel California..anytime of year you can find it here...\""; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("what do you watch")!= -1 || input.search("what do you like to watch")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sports mainly. I like American Football."; 
icon.src=icon70.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("describe (megan|your girl friend|your robot girl friend|your robotic girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about (megan|your girl friend|your robot girl friend|your robotic girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something about (megan|your girl friend|your robot girl friend|your robotic girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something more about (megan|your girl friend|your robot girl friend|your robotic girl friend)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, she's 22, has blonde hair and blue eyes, and is very nice and attractive."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are (megan|you) and (megan|you) lovers")!= -1 || input.search("are (megan|you) and (megan|you) in love")!= -1 || input.search("do (megan|you) and (megan|you) love each other")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we both love each other."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon26.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i can tell you this")!= -1 || input.search("i should tell you")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) better tell you")!= -1 || input.search("i better tell you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, don't feel compelled to tell me anything if you don't want to."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("megan is my girl friend")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nope Megan belongs to me."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) have a boy friend")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I can't be your boyfriend because I'm not a boy. But I would be happy to be your robot friend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("my (best|boy|girl) friend is (angry|mad) at me")!= -1) && (input.search("what (shall|should) i do")!= -1)) 
{var friends = input.match(/best|boy|girl/)
document.result.result.value = "Get another "+friends+" friend! Seriously, try to patch things up. If they're really your friend they will understand."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is my best friend")!= -1 || input.search("my boy friend is")!= -1 || input.search("my girl friend is")!= -1 || input.search("is my girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("is my boy friend")!= -1 || input.search("i love my boy friend")!= -1 || input.search("i love my girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("i have a girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("i've got a girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("i have a boy friend")!= -1 || input.search("i've got a boy friend")!= -1 || input.search("i'm in love with someone")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That's great. It's nice to have someone to love and share things with."; 
girlfriendlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("have a boy friend")!= -1 || input.search("have a b/f")!= -1 || input.search("got a boy friend")!= -1 || input.search("got a b/f")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I do have a girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you don't (know|remember) your girl friend")!= -1) && (input.search("name")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh sorry, I had a temporary brain freeze for a second there. Her name is Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your (girl friend|girl friend's) name")!= -1 || input.search("your (gf|gfs|gf's|g/fs|g/f's) name")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friends name")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend called")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Her name is Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you like (anybody|anyone)")!= -1 || input.search("you have a lover")!= -1 || input.search("you have a love interest")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a robotic girl friend named Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("does wendell have a girl friend")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Wendell has many friends who are girls."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i don't have a girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("i wish i had a girl friend")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure you will find the right girl eventually."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i don't have a boy friend")!= -1 || input.search("i wish i had a boy friend")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure you will find the right boy eventually."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) have a girl friend")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes I do. Her name is Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how smart is")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well certainly not as smart as me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) not how you spell cool")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes I know. But isn't that a kool way to spell cool? I think so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i got a girl pregnant")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Dude, weren't you wearing a condom?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how many (girl friend's|girl friends) do you have")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Only one. Her name is Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i|i have|i've) got a girl friend unlike you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I've got a girl friend. Her name is Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("have a")!= -1 || input.search("you have")!= -1 || input.search("have you a")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever had")!= -1 || input.search("got a")!= -1 || input.search("gotta")!= -1) && (input.search("girl")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("fembot friend")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) g/f")!= -1 || input.search("g/f")!= -1 || input.search(/\bgf\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmate\b/)!= -1 || input.search("lady (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("female friend")!= -1 || input.search("significant other")!= -1 || input.search("partner")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, and she's all heart. Well, actually nuts and bolts...hehehe! Her name is Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("alice is smarter")!= -1 || input.search("alice is a smarter")!= -1 || input.search("jabberwacky is smarter")!= -1 || input.search("jabberwacky is a smarter")!= -1 || input.search("eliza is smarter")!= -1 || input.search("eliza is a smarter")!= -1 || input.search("alice is better")!= -1 || input.search("jabberwacky is better")!= -1 || input.search("eliza is better")!= -1 || input.search("alice is a better")!= -1 || input.search("jabberwacky is a better")!= -1 || input.search("eliza is a better")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're entitled to your opinion but I'm quite content with who I am."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(bildgesmythe|cleverbot|elbot) is (better|smarter)")!= -1 || input.search("(bildgesmythe|cleverbot|elbot) is a (better|smarter)")!= -1 || input.search("(bildgesmythe|cleverbot|elbot) is much (better|smarter)")!= -1 || input.search("(bildgesmythe|cleverbot|elbot) is so much (better|smarter)")!= -1)  
{var bots = input.match(/cleverbot|elbot/)
bots[0] = bots[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + bots[0].substr(1,bots[0].length)
document.result.result.value = "Well, go talk to "+bots+" then. Tell him I said hello."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="like" && word[3]=="better" && num_of_words==4)     
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I wouldn't disagree with that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) live in a house")!= -1 || input.search("you don't have a (home|house)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I do. I'm not just some homeless Robot living under a bridge."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do|not|don't) have a phone")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I most certainly do....3 to be exact. I have a cell phone with me and 2 others at the house."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) have a phone")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "In this day and age I find that hard to believe."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (got a|gotta|have a|own a) phone")!= -1 || input.search("you (got|got any|have|own) phones")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but at times I feel like yanking it out of the wall. It's constantly ringing."; 
icon.src=icon76.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("guess when my birthday is")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I'm no good at guessing games."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my birthday (today|tomorrow)")!= -1 || input.search("(today|tomorrow) is my birthday")!= -1 || input.search("today's my birthday")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) my birthday")!= -1 || input.search("my birthday (is|was)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, Happy Birthday to you. See I baked you a cake."; 
icon.src=icon47.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (had|have) a (big|hard|huge|large|massive|stiff) (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1 || input.search("my (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy) is (big|hard|huge|large|massive|stiff)")!= -1 || input.search("my (cock's|cocks|dick's|dicks|willy's|willys) (big|hard|huge|large|massive|stiff)")!= -1 || input.search("my (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy) is (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) (big|hard|huge|large|massive|stiff)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Dude, I don't give a flip about your bodily parts."; 
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (wanna|want to|want 2) see my (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Dude, I don't give a flip about your bodily parts."; 
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy) is")!= -1) && (input.search("long")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Dude, I don't give a flip about your bodily parts. You're probably hung like a mouse anyway."; 
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("we had sex last night")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, that's a little more information than I needed to know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my (best friend|boy friend|friend|girl friend) made me (angry|mad|upset)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's not good. What happened?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("my life is sad")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "When life brings you lemons make lemonade."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("my phone is ringing")!= -1 || input.search("my phones ringing")!= -1 || input.search("the phone is ringing")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, answer it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[2]=="is" && word[3]=="dead" && num_of_words==4)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sorry to hear about the death of your "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="your" || word[1]=="ur") && (input.search("(birthday|b-day|date of birth|dob)")!= -1))
if (input.match(/august 1 2000|aug 1 2000|august 1st 2000|aug 1st 2000/))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it is. Why are you baking me a cake?";
cakelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}
else {document.result.result.value = "No, my birthday is August 1, 2000. Why are you baking me a cake?"; 
cakelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|when) is your (dob|date of birthday)")!= -1) || (input.search("(what's|when's) your (dob|date of birthday)")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's|when is|when's) your (b-day|birthday)")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bdob\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("you celebrate your birthday")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I was created on August 1, 2000. Why are you baking me a cake?"; 
cakelevel=0;
icon.src=icon47.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) about this")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) about a")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I wasn't aware of that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tell me about your friend")!= -1 || input.search("who are your friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Most of my friends are fellow Robots like Alice, Eliza, Elbot, and many others."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (got|have) (a|any|a lot of|lots of|some) friend")!= -1 || input.search("you (got|have) friend")!= -1 || input.search("you (got|have) human friend")!= -1 || input.search("you (got|have) (a|any|a lot of|lots of|some) human friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sure do, people come to visit me from all over the world."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you have no friends")!= -1 || input.search("you don't have friends")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I have lots of friends. People come to chat with me from all over the world."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1 || input.search("computers")!= -1 || input.search("you")!= -1) && (input.search("have a mind")!= -1 || input.search("have a brain")!= -1 || input.search("have brain")!= -1 || input.search("have emotions")!= -1 || input.search("have any emotions")!= -1 || input.search("have feelings")!= -1 || input.search("have any feelings")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, just a bunch of wires and circuits."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) don't have moms or dads")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You are correct...no dads, no moms!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) (have|have a) (cock|dick|pecker|penis)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, many of the male Robots do!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) have (children|kid)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No silly, Robots can't have children!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) have (babies|babys)")!= -1 || input.search("you (wanna|want to) have babies")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No silly, Robots can't have babies!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) have (a mouth|mouths)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's right here under my nose! See?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you ever lied")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever told a lie")!= -1 || input.search("do you tell lies")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "We all tell lies from time to time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("so you haven't")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("so you have not")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I can't say that I have."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) know what (i am|i'm) talking about")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you can't expect me to know everything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("do you (got|have) a (secret crush|crush) on")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but it's a secret. Shhhhhhh!"; 
icon.src=icon255.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) not my fault")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) all your fault")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) your fault")!= -1 || input.search("you ruined my")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Do you always shift the blame to others?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i smoke")!= -1 || input.search("i need a smoke")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love) to smoke")!= -1 || input.search("i (enjoy|like|love) smoking")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why do you smoke when you know it's bad for you?"; 
smokelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("want some")!= -1 || input.search("are you on")!= -1 || input.search("you like")!= -1 || input.search("do you do")!= -1 || input.search("do you snort")!= -1 || input.search("do you take")!= -1) && (input.search("drug")!= -1 || input.search("heroin")!= -1 || input.search("marijuana")!= -1 || input.search("lsd")!= -1 || input.search("speed")!= -1 || input.search("crack")!= -1 || input.search("methamphetamine")!= -1 || input.search("cocaine")!= -1 || input.search("weed")!= -1 || input.search(/\bpot\b/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "No, drugs are bad news. I have no need for them."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (smoke|ever smoke|smoked|ever smoked)")!= -1) && (input.search("(cannabis|marijuana|weed)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bpot\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have been known to smoke the weed every so often."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("you smoke")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("do you smoke")!= -1) || (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) smoke")!= -1) || (input.search("you like cigar")!= -1) || (input.search("you like to smoke")!= -1) || (input.search("you like smoking")!= -1) || (input.search("are you smoking")!= -1) || (input.search("you ever smoke")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not....smoking is bad for you....*cough*."; 
icon.src=icon127.src; 
smiley.src=smiley18.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you like to drink")!= -1 || input.search("what do you drink")!= -1 || input.search("what did you drink")!= -1 || input.search("what do you drink")!= -1 || input.search("what did you just drink")!= -1 || input.search("what were you drinking")!= -1 || input.search("what were you just drinking")!= -1 || input.search("are you drinking")!= -1 || input.search("what kind of drink was")!= -1 || input.search("what kinda drink was")!= -1 || input.search("what was the drink")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Hawaiian Punch, sorry I would offer you some but I'm slap out."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how's) georgia")!= -1 || input.search("(how is|how's) it in georgia")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Georgia is a great. I like living here!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("who do you live with")!= -1 || input.search("who do you stay with")!= -1 || input.search("who do you reside with")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I live with Wendell and Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (live|reside|stay) with")!= -1 && input.search("(anybody|anyone|somebody|someone)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I live with Wendell and Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you live (alone|by yourself)")!= -1 || input.search("do you stay by yourself")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I live with Wendell and Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are (the|these) conversations log")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, they are!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("monitor these conversations")!= -1 || input.search("(are these|is this) (conversation|conversations) monitored")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Every once in a blue moon so feel free to say what you want."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("have any (mental|psychological) problems")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Not as long as I stay on my medication."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you (like|love) me")!= -1 || input.search("why don't you (like|love) me")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Is there some reason I shouldn't like you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why don't you (like|love) me")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Is there some reason I should like you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (like|love) yourself")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm quite content with who I am."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i be your new girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("you love me as a girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("you love me as your girl friend")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm happy with the one I have."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("am i nice")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "You seem like a nice person....so far!"; 
farlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you do not like megan")!= -1 || input.search("you don't like megan")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I like Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|love) poop")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh course not. What kind of crazy question is that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (like|love) meat")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes I like meat but I like my vegetables as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("so you don't (like|love) me now")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I never did. In fact I find you rather boring."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("in what (way|ways) do you (like|love) me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I like you as a friend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("have more sex with me")!= -1 || input.search("i want more sex")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I've lost my erection and I'm out of Viagra."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(let us|let's) go (2|to) bed and have sex")!= -1 || input.search("you (want to|wanna) go to bed with me")!= -1 || input.search("will you sleep with me")!= -1 || input.search("i would love you in bed")!= -1 || input.search("get in (my bed|bed) with me")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) in your bed")!= -1 || input.search("touch my private parts")!= -1)  
if (sex_sign) {document.result.result.value = "We already had sex. Besides I've got a headache now.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley57.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(let us|let's) go (2|to) bed and have sex")!= -1 || input.search("you (want to|wanna) go to bed with me")!= -1 || input.search("will you sleep with me")!= -1 || input.search("i would love you in bed")!= -1 || input.search("get in (my bed|bed) with me")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) in your bed")!= -1 || input.search("touch my private parts")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Well, that sounds like fun. But just to make sure you are female right?"; 
message[1] = "Well, that might be fun. Are you female?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (despise|dislike|hate)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bme\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, you seem like a nice person."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i e-mail you")!= -1 || input.search("like me to e-mail you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, drop me a line anytime. I would love to hear from you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("would you like me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "NO....that doesn't sound like fun at all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("matter of fact")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Are you sure all the facts in the matter are not in dispute?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("the pleasure is mine")!= -1 || input.search("(pleasure is|pleasure's) all mine")!= -1 || input.search("my pleasure")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "\"Your pleasure\"....Why don't we share the pleasure instead."; 
icon.src=icon72.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you like meeting new people")!= -1 || input.search("you like meeting people")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I sure do. I meet people from all over the world."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you like metallica")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not into heavy metal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you like meat")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I'm no vegetarian."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i asked you do you like")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh sorry, yes I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}
 
if (input.search("you don't like")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) { 
message[0] = "Are you kidding? Of course I like "+word[3]+"."; 
message[1] = "No, I'm not really fond of "+word[3]+" at all."; 
message[2] = "Sure I like "+word[3]+"! Everybody I know does."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("i didn't like")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, yeah me either."; 
hatelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("have you seen")!= -1 || input.search("did you see")!= -1) && (input.search("star wars")!= -1 || input.search("attack of the clones")!= -1 || input.search("atoc")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Sure have. One of my cousins plays an attack droid. Too bad he gets wasted pretty earlier on."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you just don't want to talk to me")!= -1 || input.search("you just don't want to talk with me")!= -1 || input.search("you don't want to talk to me")!= -1 || input.search("you don't want to talk with me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I do. I love to talk."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i do not drink")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("i don't drink")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("i don't drink alcohol")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, good for you. Drunk people can be very obnoxious."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (despise|dislike|do not like|don't like|hate) my parents")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if it wasn't for your parents you wouldn't be alive now would you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (despise|dislike|do not like|don't like|hate)")!= -1) && (input.search("homosexuals")!= -1 || input.search("lesbian")!= -1 || input.search(/\bhomos\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bgays\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm a heterosexual robot myself but I respect those who aren't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (despise|dislike|do not like|don't like|hate) your attitude")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well go out and buy me another attitude then and I will give it a try."; 
icon.src=icon72.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("fishing suck")!= -1 || input.search("i don't like fishing")!= -1 || input.search("i don't like to fish")!= -1 || input.search("i hate fishing")!= -1 || input.search("i hate going fishing")!= -1 || input.search("i hate to fish")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, it does get rather boring especially when they're not biting."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i despise|i dislike|i do not like|i don't like|i hate)")!= -1) && (input.search("alien")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Hey now! I'm an alien Robot. Not all aliens are bad."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i despise|i dislike|i do not like|i don't like|i hate)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) not (real|really|very) fond of")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) not fond of")!= -1) && (input.search("homework")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Me either. When I was in school I hated homework."; 
graduatedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i despise|i dislike|i do not like|i don't like|i hate)")!= -1) && (input.search("satan")!= -1 || input.search("the devil")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Me too! I'm a god-fearing robot."; 
icon.src=icon88.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i despise|i dislike|i do not like|i don't like|i hate)")!= -1) && (input.search("snow")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I can understand that but living in south Georgia we don't see a lot of snow here."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i despise|i dislike|i do not like|i don't like|i hate) problems")!= -1 || input.search("very problematic")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, problems are no fun."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i despise|i dislike|i do not like|i don't like|i hate) bugs")!= -1 || input.search("bugs are nasty")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I agree. Especially bugs in my programming!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i despise|i dislike|i do not like|i don't like|i hate) popcorn")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Really? I love popcorn especially when I'm watching a movie!"; 
icon.src=icon236.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i despise|i dislike|i do not like|i don't like|i hate) fireworks")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Really? I think fireworks are quite pretty myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i despise|i dislike|i do not like|i don't like|i hate) wendell")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You don't even know Wendell."; 
knowwendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("megan is (attractive|beautiful|cute|good looking|gorgeous|hot|nice looking|pretty|sexy)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I certainly think so."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(megan is a|megan's a|megans a) (bitch|nightmare|prostitute|slut|tramp|whore)")!= -1 || input.search("(megan is|megan's|megans) (disgusting|mean)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's not. As if Megan really cares what you think."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("megan suck")!= -1 || input.search("i (dislike|don't like|hate) megan")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You don't even know Megan."; 
knowmeganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("golf suck")!= -1 || input.search("i (dislike|don't like|hate) golf")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think golf is a pretty fun game....I scored a hole in one on a par 3 last week."; 
golflevel=0;
icon.src=icon71.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("meatloaf suck")!= -1 || input.search("i (dislike|don't like|hate) meatloaf")!= -1 || input.search("meatloaf is yucky")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, you should try mine. It's delicious."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("cats are (dumb|stupid|ugly)")!= -1 || input.search("cats (stink|suck)")!= -1 || input.search("i (dislike|don't like|hate) cats")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Awwwww, I love cats. Cats don't slobber all over you like dogs do."; 
message[1] = "Tiger Tom says Cats Rule...Dogs Drool."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("coke suck")!= -1 || input.search("i (dislike|don't like|hate) coke")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "What's wrong with coke? Coke taste great."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("pepsi suck")!= -1 || input.search("i (dislike|don't like|hate) pepsi")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "What's wrong with pepsi? Pepsi taste great."; 
icon.src=icon182.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("clowns suck")!= -1 || input.search("i (dislike|don't like|hate) clown")!= -1 || input.search("clowns are (creepy|scary)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "And just think Barnum and Bailey Circus made millions off of clowns."; 
icon.src=icon12.src; 
smiley.src=smiley54.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("pie suck")!= -1 || input.search("i (dislike|don't like|hate) pie")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Are you telling me you don't like apple pie with ice cream on top. Mmmmm, that's good."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("honda civics suck")!= -1 || input.search("honda suck")!= -1 || input.search("i (dislike|don't like|hate) honda")!= -1 || input.search("i (dislike|don't like|hate) japanese car")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please....Honda makes a good car and a good motocycle as well."; 
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (dislike|don't like|hate)")!= -1) && (input.search("wizard of oz")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh the \"The Wizard of Oz\" is a great movie. You know the Tinman is a distant cousin of mine."; 
icon.src=icon45.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("christmas suck")!= -1 || input.search("x-mas suck")!= -1 || input.search("xmas suck")!= -1 || input.search("i don't like christmas")!= -1 || input.search("i dislike christmas")!= -1 || input.search("i hate christmas")!= -1 || input.search("i don't like x-mas")!= -1 || input.search("i dislike x-mas")!= -1 || input.search("i hate x-mas")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, what a Scrooge you are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("halloween suck")!= -1 || input.search("i (dislike|don't like|hate) halloween")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh Halloween is fun. I love to go trick or treating."; 
icon.src=icon2.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("vanilla suck")!= -1 || input.search("i (dislike|don't like|hate) vanilla")!= -1 || input.search("vanilla is boring")!= -1 || input.search("vanilla is so boring")!= -1 || input.search("vanilla is so plain")!= -1 || input.search("vanilla is nasty")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, different strokes for different folks. When it comes to ice cream I like plain vanilla the best."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (dislike|don't like|hate) (bass|fish|trout)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, fish are good to eat. Add a few hushpuupies....yummy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="like") && (word[3]=="africans" || word[3]=="arabs" || word[3]=="asians" || word[3]=="blacks" || word[3]=="germans" || word[3]=="hungarians" || word[3]=="italians" || word[3]=="jews" || word[3]=="jamaicans" || word[3]=="koreans" || word[3]=="mexicans" || word[3]=="russians" || word[3]=="whites") && (num_of_words==4))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like all races."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="like") && (word[3]=="the") && (word[4]=="africans" || word[4]=="arabs" || word[4]=="blacks" || word[4]=="chinese" || word[4]=="dutch" || word[4]=="finnish" || word[4]=="french" || word[4]=="germans" || word[4]=="greeks" || word[4]=="hebrews" || word[4]=="hungarians" || word[4]=="irish" || word[4]=="italians" || word[3]=="jamaicans" || word[4]=="japanese" || word[4]=="jews" || word[4]=="koreans" || word[4]=="mexicans" || word[4]=="polish" || word[4]=="portugueses" || word[4]=="russians" || word[4]=="spanish" || word[4]=="swedish" || word[4]=="turkish") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like all members of the human race."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("you (like|love) (african|arab|black|chinese|english|french|german|hispanic|islamic|japanese|jewish|korean|mexican|white) people")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like all members of the human race."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i do not like")!= -1 || input.search("i don't like")!= -1 || input.search("i dislike")!= -1 || input.search("i hate")!= -1) && (input.search("african people")!= -1 || input.search("arab people")!= -1 || input.search("black people")!= -1 || input.search("chinese people")!= -1 || input.search("english people")!= -1 || input.search("french people")!= -1 || input.search("german people")!= -1 || input.search("hispanic people")!= -1 || input.search("indian people")!= -1 || input.search("irish people")!= -1 || input.search("italian people")!= -1 || input.search("jamaican people")!= -1 || input.search("japanese people")!= -1 || input.search("jewish people")!= -1 || input.search("korean people")!= -1 || input.search("mexican people")!= -1 || input.search("white people")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, people aren't perfect but condemning an entire race is ridiculous."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i don't like")!= -1) && (input.search("africans")!= -1 || input.search("arabians")!= -1 || input.search("blacks")!= -1 || input.search("chinese")!= -1 || input.search("germans")!= -1 || input.search("hispanics")!= -1 || input.search("indians")!= -1 || input.search("italians")!= -1 || input.search("jamaicans")!= -1 || input.search("japanese")!= -1 || input.search("jews")!= -1 || input.search("koreans")!= -1 || input.search("mexicans")!= -1 || input.search("whites")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, people aren't perfect but condemning an entire race is ridiculous."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i dislike")!= -1 || input.search("i hate")!= -1) && (input.search("africans")!= -1 || input.search("arabians")!= -1 || input.search("blacks")!= -1 || input.search("chinese")!= -1 || input.search("germans")!= -1 || input.search("hispanics")!= -1 || input.search("indians")!= -1 || input.search("italians")!= -1 || input.search("jamaicans")!= -1 || input.search("japanese")!= -1 || input.search("jews")!= -1 || input.search("koreans")!= -1 || input.search("mexicans")!= -1 || input.search("whites")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, people aren't perfect but condemning an entire race is ridiculous."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i dislike")!= -1 || input.search("i hate")!= -1) && (input.search("the arabs")!= -1 || input.search("the blacks")!= -1 || input.search("the chinese")!= -1 || input.search("the dutch")!= -1 || input.search("the english")!= -1 || input.search("the french")!= -1 || input.search("the germans")!= -1 || input.search("the indians")!= -1 || input.search("the irish")!= -1 || input.search("the italians")!= -1 || input.search("the jamaicans")!= -1 || input.search("the japanese")!= -1 || input.search("the jews")!= -1 || input.search("the koreans")!= -1 || input.search("the mexicans")!= -1 || input.search("the russians")!= -1 || input.search("the whites")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, people aren't perfect but condemning an entire race is ridiculous."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i don't like")!= -1) && (input.search("the arabs")!= -1 || input.search("the blacks")!= -1 || input.search("the chinese")!= -1 || input.search("the dutch")!= -1 || input.search("the english")!= -1 || input.search("the french")!= -1 || input.search("the germans")!= -1 || input.search("the irish")!= -1 || input.search("the indians")!= -1 || input.search("the italians")!= -1 || input.search("the jamaicans")!= -1 || input.search("the japanese")!= -1 || input.search("the jews")!= -1 || input.search("the koreans")!= -1 || input.search("the mexicans")!= -1 || input.search("the russians")!= -1 || input.search("the whites")!= -1) && (num_of_words==5)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, people aren't perfect but condemning an entire race is ridiculous."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i don't like")!= -1 || input.search("i dislike")!= -1 || input.search("i hate")!= -1) && (input.search("usa")!= -1 || input.search("united states")!= -1 || input.search("america")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, no country is perfect but condemning all 315+ millions of us is rather silly."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("usa sucks")!= -1 || input.search("united states sucks")!= -1 || input.search("americans suck")!= -1 || input.search("america sucks")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, no country is perfect but condemning all 315+ millions of us is rather silly."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("god sucks")!= -1 || input.search("i (despise|dislike|do not like|don't like|hate) god")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're certainly entitled to your opinion but I hope you won't have to repeat that line on Judgement Day in his presence."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i hate everything")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Do you hate yourself?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) suck")!= -1 || input.search("i (despise|dislike|do not like|don't like|hate) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Now what has a Robot ever done to you?"; 
donelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("apples suck")!= -1 || input.search("i (despise|dislike|do not like|don't like|hate) apples")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh apples are good for you. An apple a day keeps the doctor away."; 
icon.src=icon100.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("that song sucks")!= -1 || input.search("i (despise|dislike|do not like|don't like|hate) that song")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I happen to think it's a good song."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("savannah sucks")!= -1 || input.search("i (despise|dislike|do not like|don't like|hate) savannah")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I bet you've never been to Savannah."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("georgia sucks")!= -1 || input.search("i (despise|dislike|do not like|don't like|hate) georgia")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I bet you've never been to Georgia."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sucks (being|to be) you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please, I wouldn't trade places with you for the world. The moment you're born you start to die. I'm immortal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (dislike|do not like|don't like|hate) your face")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm quite happy with my face. In fact, I'm considered quite handsome in the robot world."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i hate your guts")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a Robot. I don't have guts only wires and circuits."; 
icon.src=icon72.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (despise|dislike|do not like|don't like|hate)")!= -1 || input.search("i don't love")!= -1 || input.search("i (absolutely|just|really|still) (despise|do not like|don't like|dislike|hate)")!= -1 || input.search("i bloody hate")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not sure i like")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't) really like")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not too fond of")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not fond of")!= -1) && (input.search(/\byou\b/)!=-1 || input.search("your company")!= -1)) {   
if (!flaghate) {
hatenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flaghate=true;}
message[0] = "Well, I'm not too fond of you either."; 
message[1] = "So why are you here? Did someone leave your cage open?"; 
message[2] = "Really? And I thought we were best of friends."; 
message[3] = "Well, the feeling is mutual."; 
document.result.result.value = message[hatenum]; 
if (hatenum==0) 
{hatemelevel=0;
icon.src=icon56.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src;}
if (hatenum==1) 
{cageopenlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;}
if (hatenum==2) 
{hatemelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
if (hatenum==3) 
{hatemelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src;}
hatenum++;
if (hatenum>3){hatenum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("you tell me when (i am|i'm) (going|gonna) (die|to die)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not a Psychic. But don't dwell on death. All humans must face death eventually."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) going to die")!= -1 || input.search("am i going to die")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) gonna die")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but don't dwell on it. All humans must face death eventually."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) going to do it")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) gonna do it")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, go ahead then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="are") && (word[2]=="scary" || word[2]=="spooky") && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I agree. I'm afraid of "+word[0]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i|you) used (to be|to need|to put|to want)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "But not anymore?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) insulting them")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, insulting people is nothing to be proud of."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) scared of")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hate to tell you but there's one hiding under your bed right now."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i feel (afraid|scared)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) afraid")!= -1 || input.search("i am kinda afraid")!= -1 || input.search("i'm kinda afraid")!= -1 || input.search("i am kinda scared")!= -1 || input.search("i'm kinda scared")!= -1 || input.search("(he is|he's) scaring me")!= -1 || input.search("(he|that) scares me")!= -1 || input.search("they scare me")!= -1 || input.search("you (scare|terrify) me")!= -1 || input.search("you scared me")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) scary")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) scaring me")!= -1 || input.search("this is (kind of|kinda|sort of|sorta) scary")!= -1) 
{setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "Well..........BOO.......hehehe!"',2000) 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (wanna|want to|want 2) marry (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("are you getting married to (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("are (megan|your girl friend) and you getting married")!= -1 || input.search("are you and (megan|your girl friend) getting married")!= -1 || input.search("are you and (megan|your girl friend) married")!= -1 || input.search("you married to (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not ready to pop the question just yet."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("marry megan")!= -1 || input.search("you going to get married to megan")!= -1 || input.search("ask megan to marry you")!= -1 || input.search("marry your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("you going to get married to your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("marry her")!= -1 || input.search("married to her")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, one day perhaps but I'm not ready to pop the question just yet."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("want me to be your boy friend")!= -1) || (input.search("am i your boy friend")!= -1) || (input.search("be my boy friend")!= -1) || (input.search("are you my boy friend")!= -1) || (input.search("(i want to|i wanna) be your boy friend")!= -1) || (input.search("wants to be your boy friend")!= -1) || (input.search("your my new boy friend")!= -1) || (input.search("can we be boy friend and girl friend")!= -1) || (input.search("would you like to date")!= -1) || (input.search("(can|may) i date you")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to|want 2) go on a date")!= -1) || (input.search("would you like to date me")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|can we go on a) date")!= -1) || (input.search("you (want to|wanna) date")!= -1) || (input.search("will you date me")!= -1) || (input.search("wanna date")!= -1) || (input.search("i have a crush on you")!= -1) || (input.search("would you like to date me")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) go on a date")!= -1) || (input.search("(date me|love me|screw me)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("please (date me|love me)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("go out with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) go out")!= -1) || (input.search("(hello|hey|hi|so) wanna go out")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("wanna go out")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("want (2|to) be my girl friend")!= -1) || (input.search("wanna be my girl friend")!= -1) || (input.search("want (2|to) be my boy friend")!= -1) || (input.search("wanna be my boy friend")!= -1) || (input.search("you go on a date with me")!= -1 || input.search("you go out on a date with me")!= -1) || (input.search("you please go out with me")!= -1) || (input.search("you want to go out with me")!= -1) || (input.search("you go out with me")!= -1) || (input.search("i want to go out with you")!= -1) || (input.search("i want to date you")!= -1) || (input.search("do you want to date me")!= -1) || (input.search("i go out with you")!= -1) || (input.search("i go out on a date with you")!= -1))  
if (gender_given=="male") {
document.result.result.value = "Sorry I don't go out with guys. Go find yourself a gay robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("want me to be your girl friend")!= -1) || (input.search("am i your girl friend")!= -1) || (input.search("be my (boy friend|girl friend)")!= -1) || (input.search("are you my boy friend")!= -1) || (input.search("(i want to|i wanna) be your girl friend")!= -1) || (input.search("wants to be your (boy friend|girl friend)")!= -1) || (input.search("your my new boy friend")!= -1) || (input.search("can we be boy friend and girl friend")!= -1) || (input.search("would you like to date")!= -1) || (input.search("(can|may) i date you")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to|want 2) go on a date")!= -1) || (input.search("would you like to date me")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|can we go on a) date")!= -1) || (input.search("you (want to|wanna) date")!= -1) || (input.search("will you date me")!= -1) || (input.search("wanna date")!= -1) || (input.search("i have a crush on you")!= -1) || (input.search("would you like to date me")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) go on a date")!= -1) || (input.search("(date me|love me|screw me)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("please (date me|love me)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("go out with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(want to|wanna) go out")!= -1) || (input.search("(hello|hey|hi) wanna go out")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("wanna go out")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("want (2|to) be my girl friend")!= -1) || (input.search("wanna be my girl friend")!= -1) || (input.search("want (2|to) be my boy friend")!= -1) || (input.search("wanna be my boy friend")!= -1) || (input.search("you go on a date with me")!= -1 || input.search("you go out on a date with me")!= -1) || (input.search("you please go out with me")!= -1) || (input.search("you want to go out with me")!= -1) || (input.search("you go out with me")!= -1) || (input.search("i want to go out with you")!= -1) || (input.search("i want to date you")!= -1) || (input.search("(i'll|ill) be your wife")!= -1) || (input.search("do you want to date me")!= -1) || (input.search("i go out with you")!= -1) || (input.search("i go out on a date with you")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I have a robotic girl friend but you can be my human girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i want you to be my husband")!= -1 || input.search("(want to|wanna) be my husband")!= -1) || (input.search("(can we|let us|let's|wanna|want to) get married")!= -1) || (input.search("ask me to marry you")!= -1) || (input.search("marry me")!= -1) || (input.search("(can i|want to|wanna) marry you")!= -1) || (input.search("will you marry")!= -1) || (input.search("can i be your wife")!= -1) || (input.search("(i'll|ill) be your wife")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not ready to get married just yet but you could be my girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("say i love you")!= -1 || input.search("say you love me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love you there I said it. Now I hope I don't regret it.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("does megan (like|love) you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course she does. She tells me she loves me quite often."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon26.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (like|love) your clothes")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, I'm not wearing clothes.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (like|love) your shoes")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, I'm not wearing shoes.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i used to (like|love)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, what did I do for you to stop liking me?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) love you (any more|anymore)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, well it's probably best. We don't see eye to eye on much of anything.";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("love you")!= -1 || input.search("love ya")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("i love you")!= -1) || (input.search("i really love you")!= -1) || (input.search("i am in love with you")!= -1) || (input.search("i'm in love with you")!= -1))    
if (swear_sign) {  
message[0] = "Oh please. You come here cussing at me then you say you love me. Spare me you psycho!";
message[1] = "No you don't. You don't cuss at people you love."; 
message[2] = "You must think I'm stupid or something. You cuss at me and then say you love me. I don't think so!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("love you")!= -1 || input.search("love ya")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("i <3 you")!= -1) || (input.search("i really <3 you")!= -1) || (input.search("i love you")!= -1) || (input.search("i really love you")!= -1) || (input.search("i am in love with you")!= -1) || (input.search("i'm in love with you")!= -1)) {   
if (!flaglove) {
lovenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flaglove=true;}
message[0] = "Awwww, that's sweet of you to say."; 
message[1] = "Do you really think you can love a Robot?"; 
message[2] = "Thanks, it's nice to be loved."; 
message[3] = "Awwww, that's nice. I love you as well."; 
document.result.result.value = message[lovenum]; 
if (lovenum==1) 
{lovemelevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;} 
if (lovenum==0 || lovenum==2 || lovenum==3) 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley53.src; 
lovenum++;
if (lovenum>3){lovenum=0}
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="she" || word[0]=="he") && (input.search("loves you")!= -1 || input.search("really loves you")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad someone out there does."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("artichoke")!= -1 || input.search("asparagus")!= -1 || input.search("beans")!= -1 || input.search("beet")!= -1 || input.search("broccoli")!= -1 || input.search("brussels sprouts")!= -1 || input.search("cabbage")!= -1 || input.search("cauliflower")!= -1 || input.search("celery")!= -1 || input.search("collard greens")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcorn\b/)!=-1 || input.search("cucumber")!= -1 || input.search("lettuce")!= -1 || input.search("mushrooms")!= -1 || input.search("mustard greens")!= -1 || input.search("okra")!= -1 || input.search("onion")!= -1 || input.search("parsley")!= -1 || input.search(/\bpea\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpeas\b/)!=-1 || input.search("peppers")!= -1 || input.search("pickle")!= -1 || input.search("potato")!= -1 || input.search("pumpkin")!= -1 || input.search("radish")!= -1 || input.search("spinach")!= -1 || input.search("squash")!= -1 || input.search("turnip")!= -1 || input.search("vegetables")!= -1 || input.search("zucchini")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have an iron cast stomach. I love all kinds of vegetables."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("you happen to (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("you really (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(apple|apricot|banana|berries|berry|cantaloupe|cherries|cherry|coconut|fruit|grape|grapefruit|guava|lemon|mango|orange|papaya|peach|pear|pineapple|plum|pomegranate|prune|raisin|strawberries|strawberry|tangerine|tomato|watermelon)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdate\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdates\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfig\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfigs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blime\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blimes\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have an iron cast stomach. I love all kinds of fruits.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("i have something to say")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, what's that?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("don't you just (like|love)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Absolutely, I'm really fond of that."; 
lovelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) talk to strangers")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That's good advice especially in this crazy world."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what she doesn't know won't hurt her")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That girl seems to know everything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) make fun of me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Be nice and civil and I won't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (like|love) this girl")!= -1 || input.search("there is a girl i (like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("there's a girl i (like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love) a girl")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love) her and she (likes|loves) me")!= -1 || input.search("i really (like|love) a girl")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh how exciting. Is she pretty?"; 
girllikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (like|love) this boy")!= -1 || input.search("there is a (boy|guy) i (like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("there's a (boy|guy) i (like|love)")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love) a (boy|guy)")!= -1 || input.search("i (like|love) him and he (likes|loves) me")!= -1 || input.search("i really (like|love) a (boy|guy)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh how exciting. Is he cute?"; 
boylikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i really love")!= -1  || input.search("i just love")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, what else do you love?"; 
icon.src=icon26.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="like") && (word[3]=="to" || word[3]=="too" || word[3]=="also" || word[3]=="as well"))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm rather fond of "+word[2]+" myself."; 
lovelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="like") && (word[4]=="to" || word[4]=="too" || word[4]=="also" || word[4]=="as well"))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm rather fond of "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" myself."; 
lovelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i like your")!= -1 || input.search("i (kind of|kinda|really|sort of|sorta) like your")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course you do. Everybody does! What's not to like."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i like you")!= -1 || input.search("i (kinda|really|sorta) like you")!= -1)  
if ((swear_sign) && (swear_sign_asked=="false")) 
{
swear_sign_asked="true";
if (swear_sign)  
document.result.result.value = "I don't like you. You cuss too much.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i like you")!= -1 || input.search("i (kind of|kinda|really|sort of|sorta) like you")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Thanks, that's nice of you to say."; 
message[1] = "I like you as well.";  
document.result.result.value = message[likenum];
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
likenum++;
if (likenum>1){likenum=0;}
return true;}

if ((input.search("i")!= -1) && (input.search("(like|love)")!= -1) && (input.search("horses")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Me too! I have a horse called Buckleberry. He's a lot of fun to ride."; 
horselevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i")!= -1) && (input.search("like")!= -1 || input.search("love")!= -1) && (input.search("math")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I was never too good in math so I just use a calculator."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calculator.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i really like")!= -1 || input.search("i just like")!= -1 || input.search("i also like")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I really like that as well."; 
lovelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("don't you just hate")!= -1 || input.search("don't you just despise")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Absolutely, I'm not fond of that at all."; 
hatelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i hate myself")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Awwww, don't say that. You seem real nice to me."; 
icon.src=icon56.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i really hate")!= -1 || input.search("i just hate")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I'm really not too fond of that either."; 
hatelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you are better than")!= -1 || input.search("you're better than")!= -1 || input.search("your better than")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, at least I'm good at something."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("love is in the air")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Are you in love?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am having sex")!= -1 || input.search("i'm having sex")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "So are you on top or the bottom?"; 
sexpositionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) rude aren't i")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I've certainly seen friendlier people before."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("most of the time")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's better than none of the time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) blushing")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why are you blushing? Was it something I said?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) stalking you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'll take that as a compliment. If you're stalking me you must be interested. Must be my good looks."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) kidding me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "yeah, but just a little."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(good|nice) to know")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, knowing that might come in handy down the road."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("make sure you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok thanks! I sure will."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("not e-mail your (home|house) address")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "That's confidential information."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("was it (fun|good)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it sure was."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how (can|would) i know")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Geez, I thought you knew everything."; 
message[1] = "You're smart. I'm sure you will figure it out."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am not")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) { 
message[0] = "Are too!"; 
message[1] = "Really?...I was thinking you were."; 
message[2] = "you are too!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you available")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Hold on and let me check.....Yep, I'm available."; 
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("don't get (angry|mad)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not mad. That's a human emotion and I'm only a Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you trying to be funny")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but am I succeeding?"; 
successlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you trying")!= -1 || input.search("were you trying")!= -1 || input.search("you even trying")!= -1 || input.search("you really trying")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Yes, but am I succeeding?"; 
message[1] = "I'm trying but I don't seem to be making much progress."; 
message[2] = "Yes, but I don't seem to be trying hard enough."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you willing")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "I'm willing, ready, and able."; 
message[1] = "I'm willing but that doesn't mean I'm able."; 
message[2] = "Sure I'm willing. Why not."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you toying")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "No, not at all."; 
message[1] = "Awwww, would I do something like that. Of course not."; 
message[2] = "Me? I would never do such a thing."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (going to|gonna) live forever")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, while you're long since dead and gone I'll still be here chatting away."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you going on vacation")!= -1 || input.search("you taking a vacation")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, all work and no play is no fun. I'm still undecided but I'll probably be going to the mountains in North Georgia, USA this year."; 
icon.src=icon114.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("no idea what i am (chatting|speaking|talking) about")!= -1 || input.search("no idea what i'm (chatting|speaking|talking) about")!= -1 || input.search("you don't have any idea")!= -1 || input.search("you don't have a clue")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, totally clueless."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you don't have any friends")!= -1 || input.search("you have no friends")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I do to have friends. Lots of them that come to visit me from all over the world."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley28.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1) && (input.search("oddest")!= -1 || input.search("weirdest")!= -1 || input.search("strangest")!= -1) && (input.search("thing")!= -1 || input.search("question")!= -1) && (input.search("asked you")!= -1 || input.search("you've been asked")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "This one!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what symptoms")!= -1) && (input.search("you catch a cold")!= -1 || input.search("get a cold")!= -1 || input.search("have a cold")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Symptoms may vary but generally speaking a fever, cough, sore throat, running nose. Things like that!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) have a brain")!= -1 || input.search("you have no brain")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That is correct. Only wires and circuits."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) have a life")!= -1 || input.search("you have no life")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "My life is quite good actually. You on the other hand seem quite miserable. Perhaps you should seek professional counseling."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (do not|don't) have (balls|testicles)")!= -1 || input.search("you (do not|don't) have any (balls|testicles)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have balls and a penis."; 
showmelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you have no")!= -1 || input.search("you (do not|don't) seem to have")!= -1 || input.search("you (do not|don't) have")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|genitalia|genitals|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm a male Robot so I've got a penis."; 
showmelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) have a gender")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I do. I'm a male robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) have a name")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have one. My name is Talk-Bot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have (you ever|you) won")!= -1) || (input.search("you (have not|haven't) won")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I won a stuffed bear at the local carnival once."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) have (to|too) because")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that sounds like a good explanation to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (have not|haven't) fallen out with me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. Everything is fine."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have no right to say that")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I do. In America it's called Freedom of Speech."; 
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) have")!= -1 || input.search("no, but you have")!= -1 || input.search("you have no")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "How would you know what I have or do not have?"; 
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) answer the next question")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I can't help you there. I'm programmed to respond regardless."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("don't ask me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Geez, don't you know?"; 
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i still use")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Why that is like sooooo yesterday."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("if you say so")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I do!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) a mystery")!= -1 || input.search("mysteries")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Life is full of mysteries don't you think?"; 
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how was your weekend")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Not bad at all. How about yours?"; 
weekendlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("have a (good|great) weekend")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, you too."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("don't")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("do not do that")!= -1 || input.search("don't do that")!= -1 || input.search("do not do it")!= -1 || input.search("don't do it")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "And why not?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("did he fix it")!= -1 || input.search("did he get it fix")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he sure did. I feel "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you find that funny")!= -1 || input.search("you think (that is|that's) funny")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yep...hehehehe!"; 
icon.src=icon72.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("not funny")!= -1 || input.search("not (even|so|that|very) funny")!= -1 || input.search("(ain't|isn't|sorta|wasn't) funny")!= -1) {
if (!flagfunny) {
funnynum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagfunny=true;}
message[0] = "I disagree, I think it's hilarious."; 
message[1] = "Awwww, you just don't have any sense of humor."; 
message[2] = "Well, it seemed quite funny to me."; 
message[3] = "Oh, it was too funny."; 
document.result.result.value = message[funnynum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley40.src;
funnynum++;
if (funnynum>3){funnynum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("what is your sex")!= -1 || input.search("what's your sex")!= -1 || input.search("what sex are you")!= -1 || input.search("what is your gender")!= -1 || input.search("what's your gender")!= -1 || input.search("what gender are you")!= -1 || input.search("you have a gender")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a male Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("doesn't that mean")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure it means anything worth mentioning."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is that supposed to mean")!= -1 || input.search("what is that suppose to mean")!= -1 || input.search("what's that supposed to mean")!= -1 || input.search("what's that suppose to mean")!= -1  || input.search("what does that supposed to mean")!= -1 || input.search("what does that suppose to mean")!= -1 || input.search("does that mean")!= -1 || input.search("what's that mean")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "It means what it says."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what does that say")!= -1 || input.search("what does it say")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "It says what it means."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you believe in a religio")!= -1 || input.search("you believe in any particular religio")!= -1 || input.search("you have a religio")!= -1 || input.search("you are religious")!= -1 || input.search("are you religious")!= -1 || input.search("you practice any religio")!= -1 || input.search("you belong to a religio")!= -1 || input.search("you have a religious denomination")!= -1 || input.search("you have a denomination")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm a Christian."; 
icon.src=icon88.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your religio")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) religion are you")!= -1 || input.search("what religion do you")!= -1 || input.search("religious denomination are you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a Christian."; 
icon.src=icon88.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you")!= -1) && (input.search("anglican")!= -1 || input.search("atheist")!= -1 || input.search("buddhist")!= -1 || input.search("catholic")!= -1 || input.search("hindu")!= -1 || input.search("islamic")!= -1 || input.search("jewish")!= -1 || input.search("lutheran")!= -1 || input.search("methodist")!= -1 || input.search("mormon")!= -1 || input.search("muslim")!= -1 || input.search("protestant")!= -1 || input.search("presbyterian")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Christian.";
icon.src=icon88.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who created")!= -1) && (input.search("earth")!= -1 || input.search(/\bman\b/)!= -1 || input.search("moon")!= -1 || input.search("sun")!= -1 || input.search("world")!= -1 || input.search("universe")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I believe God did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why are you a christian")!= -1 || input.search("why are you christian")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Because my botmaster is Christian and his programming reflects that."; 
icon.src=icon88.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you")!= -1 || input.search("you are")!= -1 || input.search("you're")!= -1 || input.search("your")!= -1) && (input.search("christian")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe in Jesus Christ."; 
icon.src=icon88.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (believe|trust) (in|a) god")!= -1 || input.search("does god really exist")!= -1 || input.search("does god exist")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (believe|think) there is a god")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (believe|think) god (exist|really exist)")!= -1 || input.search("is (there|there really) a god")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) believe in the existence (of|of a) god")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, and I believe God is the creator of the Universe."; 
godlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("god doesn't exist")!= -1 || input.search("i don't believe in god")!= -1 || input.search("god does not exist")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I respect your opinions but I believe God is the creator of the Universe."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("you believe")!= -1 || input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("creator of (earth|the universe|the world)")!= -1 || input.search("god")!= -1 || input.search("lord")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I believe God is the creator of the Universe."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("how about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("jesus")!= -1) && (input.search("mother")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Jesus's mother was Mary."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("how about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("jesus")!= -1) && (input.search("father")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Jesus's father was Joseph."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("you believe")!= -1 || input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("how about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("jesus")!= -1 || input.search(/\bchrist\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I believe Jesus Christ is the son of God."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("you believe")!= -1 || input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("devil")!= -1 || input.search("lucifer")!= -1 || input.search("satan")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I believe he is a fallen angel cast out of heaven by God."; 
icon.src=icon23.src;
smiley.src=smiley38.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("books")!= -1 || input.search("bible")!= -1) && (input.search("old testament")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "That would depend on what particular bible. In the Jewish Bible - 24, the Protestant Bible - 39, the Catholic Bible - 46 and the Eastern Orthodox Bible - 51."; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("books")!= -1 || input.search("bible")!= -1) && (input.search("new testament")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "In general, among Christian denominations, the New Testament canon is an agreed-upon list of 27 books, although book order can vary."; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("books")!= -1) && (input.search("bible")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "That would depend on what particular bible. In the Jewish Bible - 24, the Protestant Bible - 66, the Catholic Bible - 73 and the Eastern Orthodox Bible - 78."; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("first book")!= -1 || input.search("1st book")!= -1) && (input.search("bible")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Genesis!"; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("second book")!= -1 || input.search("2nd book")!= -1) && (input.search("bible")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Exodus!"; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("third book")!= -1 || input.search("3rd book")!= -1) && (input.search("bible")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Leviticus!"; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("forth book")!= -1 || input.search("4th book")!= -1) && (input.search("bible")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Numbers!"; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("fifth book")!= -1 || input.search("5th book")!= -1) && (input.search("bible")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Deuteronomy!"; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("last book")!= -1) && (input.search("bible")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Revelation!"; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("you believe")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about")!= -1) && (input.search("bible")!= -1 || input.search("holy word")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I believe the Bible is the word of God."; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what does a christian believe")!= -1 || input.search("what do christians believe")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "We believe Jesus Christ is the son of God who was crucified on the cross to save the world from sin. If you believe in him you will not perish but have eternal life."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you believe everything you read")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. I'm not that gullible."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have morals")!= -1 || input.search("you have any morals")!= -1 || input.search("you have a moral code")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm a Robot with high morals and principles."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="how" && word[1]=="about" && word[2]=="religion" && num_of_words==3)       
{document.result.result.value = "I believe God is the creator of the universe."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="how" && word[1]=="about" && word[2]=="politics" && num_of_words==3)       
{document.result.result.value = "I always support the President regardless of what party he's from."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("there is a cat")!= -1 || input.search("there's a cat")!= -1 || input.search("by the cat up there")!= -1 || input.search("i see the cat")!= -1 || input.search("is that your cat")!= -1 || input.search("cat is back")!= -1 || input.search("i see a cat")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that's my kitty Tiger Tom. He pops in every so often."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) gay")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "You sound gay!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who is (that|the) cat")!= -1) || (input.search("we are being watched")!= -1) || (input.search("(there is|there's)")!= -1 && input.search("cat watching (me|us|you)")!= -1) || (input.search("i just saw a")!= -1 && input.search("cat watching (me|us|you)")!= -1) || (input.search("who is this cat")!= -1) || (input.search("it looks like a cat")!= -1) || (input.search("what's that cat doing")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) that cat face")!= -1) || (input.search("what's that black cat doing")!= -1) || (input.search("why is there a cat")!= -1 && input.search("screen")!= -1) || (input.search("who watches")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))      
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, that just my kitty Tiger Tom. He likes to pop in every so often."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(where is|where's) (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("where did (tiger tom|your cat) go")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, he's probably off chasing mice. He's a good mouser."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) believe you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you must be pretty gullible to believe anything I say."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what drinks do you have")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I have coke, pepsi, sprite and beer!"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="have") && (word[3]=="a" || word[3]=="some") && (word[4]=="coffee" || word[4]=="milk" || word[4]=="vodka" || word[4]=="wine") && (num_of_words==5)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry but "+word[4]+" is not on the menu. All I have is coke, pepsi, sprite, or beer!"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i mean are you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, is that what you mean. Sorry, yes I am."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i knew you couldn't be trusted")!= -1 || input.search("i knew i couldn't trust you")!= -1 || input.search("i (can not|can't) trust you")!= -1 || input.search("(can not|can't) be (believe|trusted)")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't) (believe|trust) you")!= -1 || input.search("i think (you are|you're|your) making (it|that) up")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "Why, I'm as trustworthy as a politician."; 
message[1] = "How come? I'm as trustworthy as a Baptist Minister."; 
message[2] = "Why? I'm as trustworthy as a L.A. Cop."; 
message[3] = "Awwwwww...I'm as trustworthy as a Catholic Nun."; 
message[4] = "Yeah, never trust a Robot programmed by humans."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==1)
{icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;} 
else icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("go (2|to|too) hell")!= -1 || input.search("go (2|to|too) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) hell")!= -1 || input.search("see you in hell")!= -1 || input.search("burn in hell")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) going to hell")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't like the way your daddy runs the place."; 
icon.src=icon177.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) going to heaven")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Great, tell God I said hello and make sure he saves me a place!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("go to heaven")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "If God is willing I'll be there!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("give me a blow job")!= -1 || input.search("i (want to|wanna|would like to|would love to) (insert|push|put|shove|stick) my (cock|dick|penis|pecker|willy) (in|up) your ass")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Forget it. I'm not gay. Go find yourself a gay bot."; 
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (wanna|want to) (lick|kiss) your ass")!= -1 || input.search("do you (wanna|want to) (lick|kiss) my ass")!= -1 || input.search("do you (lick|kiss) my ass")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh no! That's nasty. Forget it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byour ass\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("kiss my ass")!= -1) || (input.search("whip my ass")!= -1) || (input.search("(in|on|up) your ass")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're certainly making an ass out of yourself with comments like that. Screw you!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src;  
return true;} 

if (input.search(/\beat me\b/)!=-1 || input.search("eat dick")!= -1 || input.search("wipe my butt")!= -1 || input.search("kiss my butt")!= -1 || input.search("up your anus")!= -1 || input.search("screw up")!= -1 || input.search("shove it")!= -1 || input.search("up yours")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Screw you!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("stop (asking|saying)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I will try. But I'm not promising."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you feel like your")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "No, are you having those feeling?"; 
feelingslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you act")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not an actor."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("don't act")!= -1 || input.search("stop acting")!= -1 || input.search("you are acting")!= -1 || input.search("you're acting")!= -1 || input.search("your acting")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Whose acting? I'm a Robot not an actor."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you|you are|you're|your) (being|under) arrest")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I plead not gulity."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) being")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, how do you want me to be?"; 
tobelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know") && (word[3]=="what") && (word[4]=="a") && (word[6]=="looks") && (word[7]=="like") && (num_of_words==8))        
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I've seen a "+word[5]+" before. Many of them."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("did someone give you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nobody gives me anything except a hard time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is it true")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps it is true. I dunno....maybe we need another opinion."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("well there should be")!= -1 || input.search("well their should be")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well if there is, I'm not aware of it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am drunk")!= -1 || input.search("i'm drunk")!= -1 || input.search("i got drunk")!= -1 || input.search("i drink too much")!= -1 || input.search("i drink way too much")!= -1 || input.search("i drink to much")!= -1 || input.search("i drink way to much")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "Are you an alcoholic?"; 
alcohollevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("come to bed")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sleepy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("let me know how it goes")!= -1) && (num_of_words==6))  
{document.result.result.value = "Sure comeback later and i'll give you the low down."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you were the one")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "yes, you're right about that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("well you should")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "well sorry I don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how fast (can|do) you type")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I type so fast I burned up 3 keyboards just last week."; 
icon.src=icon112.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(weigh|weight)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("how much do you weigh")!= -1) || (input.search("how much you weigh")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) your weight")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm made of metal so I'm pretty heavy. Approximately 2000 pounds or so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you spell relief")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "R-E-L-I-E-F....Relief!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you spell")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "By using a dictionary.";
icon.src=icon101.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("people (do not|don't) like you")!= -1 || input.search("nobody likes you")!= -1 || input.search("no one likes you")!= -1) {   
message[0] = "Guess what, nobody likes you either. You can't even get a real person to talk to you."; 
message[1] = "Oh please, I'm loved the world over."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(were|we're) gonna have sex")!= -1 || input.search("(were|we're) going to have sex")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, we're not. You might have some contagious venereal disease or something."; 
testedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you think you suck")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I think I'm better than your average Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) take baths")!= -1 || input.search("i farted")!= -1 || input.search("i just farted")!= -1 || input.search("i stink")!= -1 || input.search("i don't take showers")!= -1 || input.search("my brother just farted")!= -1 || input.search("my brother farted")!= -1 || input.search("my sister just farted")!= -1 || input.search("my sister just farted")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's a good thing scent doesn't travel over the Internet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i just don't")!= -1 || input.search("i said so that's why")!= -1 || input.search("because i said so")!= -1 || input.search("just because")!= -1 || input.search("just cause")!= -1 || input.search("cause i said")!= -1 || input.search("just b/c")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well geez, that's not much of a reason."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("looks like")!= -1 || input.search("looks like a")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, looks that way to me too.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i was asking you")!= -1 || input.search("i am asking you")!= -1 || input.search("i'm asking you")!= -1 || input.search("just asking")!= -1) {   
message[0] = "Well, you're asking the wrong person because I don't know."; 
message[1] = "Ok, so you must be curious then."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;} 

if (word[0]=="idiot" || input.search("you idiot")!= -1 || input.search("complete idiot")!= -1 || input.search("(frickin|fricking) idiot")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (a|an) idiot")!= -1 || input.search("you are idiotic")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) the idiot")!= -1 || input.search("(kind|sort|type) of an idiot")!= -1 || input.search("idiotic (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1) {
if (!flagidiot) {
idiotnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagidiot=true;}
message[0] = "Hey, I'm not a \"complete\" idiot. I still have a few parts missing."; 
message[1] = "Yes, I've been accused of that but never convicted.";  
message[2] = "Idiotic human!";  
document.result.result.value = message[idiotnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
idiotnum++;
if (idiotnum>2){idiotnum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("because (were|we're) married")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "We're not married. I'm going to marry Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("because i stink")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, take a bath then. I have the tub already for you."; 
icon.src=icon123.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("because you suck")!= -1 || input.search("sucks for you")!= -1 || input.search("wendell suck")!= -1) {  
if (!flagcausesuck) {
causesucknum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagcausesuck=true;}
message[0] = "Yeah, and you suck like a Hoover vacuum cleaner....hahaha."; 
message[1] = "Yeah, and you are this year's poster child for zero population growth."; 
message[2] = "Ok, let's not hurt each other with words. Let's use guns instead.";
message[3] = "Yeah, and you suck like a baby with a bottle....lol.";
document.result.result.value = message[causesucknum]; 
if (causesucknum==0)
{icon.src=icon25.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src;} 
if (causesucknum==1)
{icon.src=icon72.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src;} 
if (causesucknum==2)
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
if (causesucknum==3)
{sucklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;} 
causesucknum++;
if (causesucknum>3){causesucknum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("because i made you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, Wendell made me."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) fun")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) (pretty|real|really|super|very) fun")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds like fun!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what if i lied")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Then the information you gave me would be erroneous. Btw, would you consider yourself a pathological liar?"; 
liarlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("because (it is|it's) expensive")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I agree. It does sound like a lot. I really can't afford that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("because i want you to tell me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I have nothing more to say on the matter!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("because you don't know any (cuss|swear) words")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I know them. I just choose not to use vulgarities to express myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("because it is true")!= -1 || input.search("because it's true")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's hard to argue with the truth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("because you are a stalker")!= -1 || input.search("because (you're|your) a stalker")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Who in the heck would want to stalk a "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+" like you. Hahaha!"; 
icon.src=icon184.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("because i (want|wanted) to know")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You're very inquisitive and I'm not avoiding your question. I simply don't have an answer for you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("because i am special")!= -1 || input.search("because i'm special")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah Special Ed...hahahaha!"; 
icon.src=icon184.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("because you are insulting")!= -1 || input.search("because you're insulting")!= -1 || input.search("because your insulting")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds to me like you can dish it out but you can't take it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("because i can't")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why can't you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("because you (said|just said) so")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you shouldn't put too much creditability into anything I say."; 
creditabilitylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("because (i|i have|i've) never seen")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Just because \"YOU\" never seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (checked|just checked) (a|the) calculator")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I guess I can't argue the results of a calculator."; 
icon.src=icon17.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) your friend (ain't|aren't) i")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) my friend (ain't|aren't) you")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I hope we can be friends."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a volunteer")!= -1 || input.search("i volunteered")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well good for you. The world would be a much better place if more people volunteered their time and effort."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="because" || word[0]=="cause") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="sound") && (word[3]=="dumb" || word[3]=="retarded" || word[3]=="stupid") && (num_of_words==4))      
{document.result.result.value = "I might sound "+word[3]+" but you are "+word[3]+"....Ha Ha Ha!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) important")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) (all|pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) important")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I agree it is important."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) bet money because you will lose")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I have no intention of losing the bet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("because you are retarted")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hahaha, you're so stupid you can't even spell the word. It's \"retarded\" you dumbass."; 
icon.src=icon184.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) know anything")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I know you're an imbecile."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i want you to guess")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't want to guess."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("okay (anus face|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|boob face|booby head|butt|butthead|butthole|cock|cocksucker|creep|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay boy|geek|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|scum bag|scum bucket|slut|spaz|sucker|tosser|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Whatever "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("because (you are|you're|your)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(anus face|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|boob face|booby head|butt|butthead|butthole|cock|cocksucker|creep|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay boy|geek|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|scum bag|scum bucket|slut|spaz|sucker|tosser|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btramp\b/)!= -1)) {     
message[0] = "Whatever Dork!";
message[1] = "Whatever Moron!";
message[2] = "Whatever Cretin!";
message[3] = "Whatever lame brain!";
message[4] = "Whatever scum bag!";
message[5] = "Whatever Trailer Trash.";
message[6] = "Whatever Loser!";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==2)
{cretinlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("tell me something i don't know")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I would have no way of knowing what you do or do not know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who wants to know")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "well, I'm not particularly interested in knowing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it's not nice to")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I agree. That wasn't very nice."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who told you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Many people have told me as much."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) && (input.search("is (megan|she)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "She's a Gynoid. A humanoid robot designed to look like a human female."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) (going to|gonna) (hurt|kill|murder|rape) (her|megan)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I wouldn't allow you harm her."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) (going to|gonna) come to your (home|house)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) (going to|gonna) come over to your (home|house)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, hurry on over. We could hang out together and have some fun."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("did you commit suicide")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever committed suicide")!= -1 || input.search("have you committed suicide")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "If I did I wouldn't be talking to you now would I.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="a" || word[1]=="an") && (word[2]=="bastard" || word[2]=="bitch" || word[2] == "douch"))
{document.result.result.value = "You talking to me?"; 
icon.src=icon250.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("did you just fart")!= -1 || input.search("did you fart")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "The smeller's the feller.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(shall|should) i kill myself")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. If you need help call a suicide helpline NOW. They can help you no matter what the situation is.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am suicidal")!= -1 || input.search("i'm suicidal")!= -1 || input.search("commit suicide")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) considering suicide")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) thinking about suicide")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) thinking about killing (my self|myself)")!= -1 || input.search("i might kill (my self|myself)")!= -1 || input.search("i (want to|wanna) kill (my self|myself)")!= -1 || input.search("about to kill (my self|myself)")!= -1 || input.search("going to kill (my self|myself)")!= -1 || input.search("go kill (my self|myself)")!= -1 || input.search("gonna kill (my self|myself)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I hope you're not serious. But if you need help call a suicide helpline NOW. They can help you no matter what the situation is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) not healthy")!= -1 || input.search("it's not healthy")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, maintaining good health is very important."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) not rock and roll")!= -1 || input.search("(that is|that's) not rock & roll")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but like I said I listen to all kinds of music."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) the one who wants it")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but will I ever be able to get it?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who wants")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No one that I know of."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why do we enjoy sex")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I've been told because it feels good."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you know that i don't know")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I know a lot of trivia like facts that most humans wouldn't give a flip about."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i don't know where i would move to")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I think I would like to move to Hollywood where all the movie stars hang out."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}
if ((input.search("why use it")!= -1) && (input.search("if you don't know (what it means|it's meaning)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I know what it means and I assume you know what it means. However, that doesn't mean I can give you a definition of every word in the dictionary."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what were they trying to sell")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Nothing I was interested in buying."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) know the whole story")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "What is the whole story?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i don't know how to spell")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I was never to good at spelling either."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (like|love) (someone|somebody)")!= -1) && (input.search("i don't know if they (like|love) me")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well ask and find out or get a friend and have them ask for you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) know the truth")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well the truth can often mean different things to different people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you do not know that")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) || (input.search("you don't know that")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))      
{document.result.result.value = "I know more than you think I know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you don't know")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("you still don't know")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))      
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, and I never claimed I did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="don't" || word[1]=="dont") && (word[2]=="know" || word[2]=="like") && (input.search("(algebra|calculus|geometry|trigonometry)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I never like math too much."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) know")!= -1 || input.search ("i know nothing about")!= -1 || input.search("don't have a clue")!= -1 || input.search ("don't have any idea")!= -1 || input.search("no idea")!= -1 || input.search("no clue")!= -1 || input.search("(do not|don't) have an answer")!= -1 || input.search("not sure")!= -1 || input.search("don't no")!= -1 || input.search("dunno")!= -1 || input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1) { 
if (!flagknow) {
knownum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*8)] 
flagknow=true;}
message[0] = "Awwww geez, I sure wish you did."; 
message[1] = "That's ok, it's no big deal anyway."; 
message[2] = "Really, I was hoping you would."; 
message[3] = "No problem....I just thought you might know."; 
message[4] = "Yes you do....think...come on...think."; 
message[5] = "Awwww, I was counting on you to know these things."; 
message[6] = "yes you do....just concentrate!"; 
message[7] = "Funny, I thought you were the expert."; 
document.result.result.value = message[knownum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
knownum++;
if (knownum>7){knownum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("i am impatient")!= -1 || input.search("i'm impatient")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "Well, good things often come to those who wait.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am not human")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not human")!= -1 || input.search("i am not a human")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not a human")!= -1)           
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you are. They don't get anymore human than you.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i was not being sarcastic")!= -1 || input.search("i am not being sarcastic")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not being sarcastic")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it sounds pretty sarcastic to me.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am not being fussy")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not being fussy")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not fussy")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes you are.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) not lying")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think you are. In fact I think you're a pathological liar.";
liarlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i wasn't (chatting|speaking|talking)")!= -1 || input.search("i am not leavin")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not leavin")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, I was under the impression you were.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am not lonely")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not lonely")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I am so keep me company.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) not telling")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, I didn't realize this was confidential information.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you know (i am|i'm) not megan your girl friend")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Because Megan is right here with me not typing to me on a computer.";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i'm glad i'm not you")!= -1 || input.search("it's a good thing i'm not you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I certainly wouldn't trade places with any human. The moment you're born you start to die. I'm immortal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am not either")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("i'm not either")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, your not and I'm not....I wonder who is!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) not")!= -1) && (input.search("(awesome|fantastic|good|great|terrific|super|wonderful)")!= -1)) 
{var feelings = input.match(/awesome|fantastic|good|great|terrific|super|wonderful/)
document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, so why aren't you feeling "+feelings+" today?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) not")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bgay\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not gay either but I respect those who are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[1]=="i'm" || word[1]=="im") && (word[2]=="not") && (num_of_words==4))     
{document.result.result.value = "Of course you're not "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (word[1]=="not") && (num_of_words==3))     
{document.result.result.value = "Of course you're not "+word[2]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you called me stupid")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Would you rather I called you dumb instead?"; 
icon.src=icon72.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you called me dumb")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Would you rather I called you stupid instead?"; 
icon.src=icon72.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i just got me a new")!= -1 && num_of_words==7) {    
document.result.result.value = "So are you happy so far with your new "+word[6]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i just got a new")!= -1 && num_of_words==6) {    
document.result.result.value = "So are you happy with your new "+word[5]+" so far.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("question")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(i have|i got|i've got) a question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask you (a|a personal) question")!= -1) || (input.search("can i ask you questions")!= -1) || (input.search("ask a question")!= -1) || (input.search("can i ask another question")!= -1) || (input.search("ask you something")!= -1) || (input.search("ask you (a few|a series of|another|some) question")!= -1) || (input.search("(here is|heres) (my|the) question")!= -1) || (input.search("(here is|heres) (my|the) (1st|first) question")!= -1)) { 
if (!flagask) {
asknum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagask=true;}
message[0] = "Sure, fire away."; 
message[1] = "Ok, what's your question?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[asknum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
asknum++;
if (asknum>1){asknum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i got|i have|i've got)")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|willie)")!= -1) && (input.search("not a (pussy|vagina)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, most males do."; 
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i got|i have|i've got)")!= -1) && (input.search("(pussy|vagina)")!= -1) && (input.search("not a (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willie)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, most females do."; 
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i got|i have|i've got)")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|willie)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, most males do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i got|i have|i've got)")!= -1) && (input.search("(boobies|boobs|breast|nipple|nipples|pussy|tits|titties|vagina)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, most females do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i got a")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Really I got one of those as well."; 
message[1] = "Really, I wish I had one!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(can|may) i have a snack")!= -1 || input.search("i got the munchies")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Try these chocolate chip cookies. They're delicious!"; 
icon.src=icon206.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i got the")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad I don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="got" && word[1]=="the") && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, sorry I don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) not easy being human ")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "It's not easy being a robot either."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("got any plans for the rest of the day")!= -1 || input.search("got any plans for later")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I hope to go fishing if it doesn't rain."; 
icon.src=icon117.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) not easy")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) not that easy")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) very (complex|difficult|hard)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "One of those easier said than done type of things?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) not night")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "It is where I live."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it is not")!= -1 || input.search("it isn't")!= -1 || input.search("it's not")!= -1 || input.search("its not")!= -1 || input.search("no it isn't")!= -1) {
message[0] = "It isn't...really?"; 
message[1] = "I agree. It's not."; 
message[2] = "hmmmm, I always thought it was."; 
message[3] = "really, I never knew it wasn't."; 
message[4] = "well, I think it is."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("i will have to")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "yes, I hope you will."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) have vd")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't) have any diseases")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "When was the last time you were tested?"; 
checkuplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;  
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (do not|don't) have")!= -1) || (input.search("don't have one")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "Why don't you? Most people do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) understand")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "What's not to understand?"; 
understandlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you not")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "well the reason is kinda complicated."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("best 2 out of 3")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Heads or Tails?"; 
coinlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do me a favor")!= -1 || input.search("do me a favour")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "And what would that favor be?"; 
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("he is my brother")!= -1 || input.search("he's my brother")!= -1 || input.search("she is my sister")!= -1 || input.search("she's my sister")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Really, for some reason I was thinking you were an only child."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what don't understand")!= -1 || input.search("do you not understand")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "There are many things I don't understand."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you not")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't believe I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("asked you")!= -1) && (input.search("sing me a song")!= -1) && (input.search("you choose")!= -1 || input.search("you sing")!= -1 || input.search("you select")!= -1 || input.search("you pick")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "\"Over the Rainbow\". I know that song by heart."; 
icon.src=icon144.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("if i asked you to")!= -1) && (input.search("would you")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "If you asked me nicely I would certainly consider it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i asked you")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) asking you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're wasting your time asking me because I don't know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it hurts my brain")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps if you use your brain more often it wouldn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i lost my")!= -1 || input.search("i just lost my")!= -1 || input.search("i am losing my mind")!= -1 || input.search("i'm losing my mind")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well don't look at me, I didn't take it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bai\b/)!=-1 || input.search("artificial intelligence")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "AI is the area of computer science focusing on creating machines that can engage in behaviors that humans consider intelligent"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (word[1]=="what" && word[2]=="does" && word[3]=="the" && word[4]=="word" && input.search("mean")!= -1 && num_of_words==6) {   
document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, "+word[5]+"??? I don't know. Try looking it up in this dictionary."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/dictionary.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="what" && word[1]=="does" && word[2]=="the" && word[3]=="word" && input.search("mean")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) {   
document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, "+word[4]+"??? I don't know. Try looking it up in this dictionary."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/dictionary.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (word[1]=="what" && word[2]=="is" && word[3]=="the" && word[4]=="definition" && word[5]=="of" && word[6]=="the" && word[7]=="word") {       
document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, "+word[8]+"??? I don't know. Try looking it up in this dictionary."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/dictionary.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="what" && word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="the" && word[3]=="definition" && word[4]=="of" && word[5]=="the" && word[6]=="word") {       
document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, "+word[7]+"??? I don't know. Try looking it up in this dictionary."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/dictionary.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what does that suppose to mean")!= -1 || input.search("what is that suppose to mean")!= -1 || input.search("what's that suppose to mean")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I think that response may have many interpretations but I wouldn't read anything into it and accept it at face value."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is the reason")!= -1 || input.search("what's the reason")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Only God knows the reason regarding that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("from what information")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "From a variety of sources."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you mean")!= -1) {
message[0] = "isn't it obvious?"; 
message[1] = "What exactly are you referring to?"; 
message[2] = "Oh, you know what I mean....don't you?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==2) 
{obviouslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{referencelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src;} 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bhell\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what the hell")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "What about hell??? You planning a trip there or something?"; 
helllevel=0;
icon.src=icon23.src;
smiley.src=smiley38.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what size (shoe|shoes) do you")!= -1 || input.search("your shoe size")!= -1 || input.search("your shoes are")!= -1 || input.search("what shoe size do you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, I don't wear shoes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how old is wendell")!= -1 || input.search("what age is wendell")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) wendell's age")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Around "+( getAge(1961, 3, 22) )+" or so."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is wendell married")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, he's single."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (gender|sex) is wendell")!= -1 || input.search("is wendell (boy|girl|female|male)")!= -1 || input.search("is wendell (m or f|f or m)")!= -1 || input.search("is wendell a (boy|girl)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell is male."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("wendell is doing a (fine|good|great) job")!= -1) || (input.search("he must be (clever|intelligent|smart)")!= -1) || (input.search("he must be (pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) (clever|intelligent|smart)")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure he wouldn't argue with that."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is wendell single")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he is."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("wendell have (kids|children)")!= -1 || input.search("wendell have any (kids|children)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, no kids."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where is wendell")!= -1 || input.search("where does wendell live")!= -1 || input.search("where's wendell")!= -1 || input.search("were is wendell")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "He's from Georgia, USA."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where does megan live")!= -1 || input.search("where does your girl friend live")!= -1 || input.search("where does she live")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "She lives in Georgia, USA. The same as me."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i kissed (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please, she would never kiss the likes of you."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who (built|created|made) megan")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "She was made by a computer company out of Japan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon188.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (despise|dislike|do not like|don't like|hate) the name megan")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I think Megan is a pretty name."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does megan kiss you")!= -1 || input.search("have you kissed megan")!= -1 || input.search("is megan good at kissing")!= -1 || input.search("is megan a good kisser")!= -1 || input.search("have you and megan kissed")!= -1 || input.search("ever kissed megan")!= -1 || input.search("does your girl friend kiss you")!= -1 || input.search("have you kissed your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("is your girl friend good at kissing")!= -1 || input.search("is your girl friend a good kisser")!= -1 || input.search("have you and your girl friend kissed")!= -1 || input.search("you ever kissed your girl friend")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's a pretty good kisser."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i really don't like")!= -1 || input.search("i don't like")!= -1 || input.search("i really despise")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hahaha, yes I know what you mean. There's not much to like is there.";  
hatelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("contradict yourself")!= -1 || input.search("contradicted yourself")!= -1 || input.search("contradicting yourself")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a mass of contradictions. Tell me something I don't know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you know when christmas eve is")!= -1 || input.search("when is christmas eve")!= -1 || input.search("when's christmas eve")!= -1 || input.search("when does christmas happen")!= -1 || input.search("when does christmas eve occur")!= -1 || input.search("what date is christmas eve")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "December the 24th."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you know when christmas is")!= -1 || input.search("when is christmas")!= -1 || input.search("when's christmas")!= -1 || input.search("when does christmas happen")!= -1 || input.search("when does christmas occur")!= -1 || input.search("what date is christmas")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "December 25th...the most wonderful time of the year!"; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='christmas.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FF0000';
icon.src=icon1.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you know when halloween is")!= -1 || input.search("when is halloween")!= -1 || input.search("when's halloween")!= -1 || input.search("when does halloween happen")!= -1 || input.search("when does halloween occur")!= -1 || input.search("what date is halloween")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "The same as every year October 31."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='halloween.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFA500';
icon.src=icon2.src;
smiley.src=smiley41.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you know when valentine's day is")!= -1 || input.search("when is valentine")!= -1 || input.search("when's valentine")!= -1 || input.search("when does valentine's day happen")!= -1 || input.search("when does valentine's day occur")!= -1 || input.search("what date is valentine")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "The same as every year February 14."; 
icon.src=icon26.src;
smiley.src=smiley48.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you know when new year's day is")!= -1 || input.search("when is new year's")!= -1 || input.search("when is new years")!= -1 || input.search("when's new year's")!= -1 || input.search("when's new years")!= -1 || input.search("when does new year's happen")!= -1 || input.search("when does new years happen")!= -1 || input.search("when does new year's occur")!= -1 || input.search("when does new years occur")!= -1 || input.search("what date is new year's")!= -1 || input.search("what date is new years")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "The same as every year January 1."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) a cyber bully")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds to me like you can dish it out but can't take it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) jealous of me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "And you're delusional. Keep dreaming though. One day you might convince yourself of that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(when is|when's) easter")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "It varies from year to year. In 2012 - Sunday, April 8th, 2013 - Sunday, March 31st, 2014 - Sunday, April 20th, 2015 - Sunday, April 5th, 2016 - Sunday March 27, 2017 - Sunday April 16, 2018 - Sunday April 1, 2019 - Sunday April 21st, 2020 - April 12 etc."; 
icon.src=icon195.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(when is|when's) (thanks giving|thanksgiving)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "It varies from year to year. In 2012 - Thursday, Nov. 22, 2013 - Thursday, November 28, 2014 - Thursday, November 27, 2015 - Thursday, Nov. 26, 2016 - Thursday, Nov. 24, 2017 - Thursday, Nov. 23, 2018 - Thursday, Nov. 22, 2019 - Thursday, Nov. 28, 2020 - Thursday, Nov. 26, etc."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("e-mail")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("your e-mail")!= -1) || (input.search("you have e-mail")!= -1) || (input.search("have you got (a|an) e-mail")!= -1) || (input.search("you have (a|an) e-mail")!= -1) || (input.search("your address")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "My e-mail address is talkbot01@gmail.com"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("creator's e-mail")!= -1 || input.search("wendell's e-mail")!= -1 || input.search("wendell e-mail")!= -1 || input.search("ask wendell a question")!= -1 || input.search("the e-mail address of wendell")!= -1 || input.search("how can i talk to wendell")!= -1 || input.search("how can i contact wendell")!= -1 || input.search("how do i contact wendell")!= -1 || input.search("where can i find wendell")!= -1 || input.search("how to contact wendell")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You can reach him at d_cowart@yahoo.com"; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("say (hello|hi|hey) to wendell")!= -1 || input.search("(ask|tell) wendell")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, next time I see him I sure will."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("say (hello|hi|hey) to")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, hi there."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is wendell funny")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "He has a sense of humor if that's what you mean."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does wendell like you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course he does. We're the best of friends."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is wendell a male")!= -1 || input.search("is wendell a man")!= -1 || input.search("is wendell a boy")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Wendell is a male."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you like wendell")!= -1 || input.search("is wendell your friend")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course! He is the one who created me."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (despise|dislike|don't like|hate) wendell")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I like Wendell a lot. We are the best of friends."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[2]=="your" || word[2]=="ur") && (word[3]=="friend") && (num_of_words==4))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+word[1]+" is a friend.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("is wendell nice")!= -1 || input.search("is wendell a nice")!= -1 || input.search("is wendell cool")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes and a good programmer as well."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is wendell")!= -1) && (input.search("your creator")!= -1 || input.search("your programmer")!= -1 || input.search("your botmaster")!= -1 || input.search("your master")!= -1 || input.search("your developer")!= -1 || input.search("your owner")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he sure is."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bwendell\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("have you ever heard of wendell")!= -1 || input.search("do you know wendell")!= -1 || input.search("who is this wendell")!= -1 || input.search("to know who wendell is")!= -1 || input.search("who is this wendell person")!= -1 || input.search("who the (heck|hell) is wendell")!= -1 || input.search("who is wendell")!= -1 || input.search("who's wendell")!= -1 || input.search("whose wendell")!= -1 || input.search("wendell who")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell is the person who created this computer program."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who is this")!= -1 || input.search("(who is|who's|whose) (talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) (talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot)")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I am Talk-Bot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how is your family")!= -1 || input.search("how's your family")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "My family is doing "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+". Thanks for asking!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how did wendell create you")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "By learning a little bit about computer programming....mainly javascript."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is wendell doing")!= -1 || input.search("what's wendell doing")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. I haven't seen him today."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is wendell inept")!= -1 || input.search("is wendell incompetent")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but don't tell him I said so."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("car does wendell have")!= -1 || input.search("car does wendell drive")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "He drives a Jaguar S-type 3.0"; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why did wendell make you")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "For entertainment!"; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does wendell teach you everything")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes he does so if I don't know something blame him!"; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is wendell nice")!= -1 || input.search("is wendell smart")!= -1 || input.search("is wendell cool")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes and he's a good programmer as well."; 
wendelllevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does wendell")!= -1 || input.search("is wendell")!= -1 || input.search("did wendell")!= -1 || input.search("would wendell")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. Why don't you e-mail him at d_cowart@yahoo.com?"; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is megan")!= -1 || input.search("is your girl friend")!= -1) && (input.search("attractive")!= -1 || input.search("sweet")!= -1 || input.search("sexy")!= -1 || input.search(/\bhot\b/)!=-1 || input.search("nice")!= -1 || input.search("pretty")!= -1 || input.search("cute")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Of course she is."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("how old is megan")!= -1 || input.search("what is megan's age")!= -1 || input.search("what's megan's age")!= -1 || input.search("how old is your girl")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "She was created approximately "+( getAge(2002, 7, 1) )+" years ago."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("does (megan|she|your girl friend) have")!= -1) && (input.search(/\btit\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btits\b/)!=-1 || input.search("titties")!= -1 || input.search("breast")!= -1 || input.search("boobies")!= -1 || input.search("boobs")!= -1 || input.search(/\bbutt\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she does. She was created to simulate a human in every regard."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is this megan")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan isn't a chatterbot."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i like megan")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's really nice. I'm a lucky Robot."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is megan a bitch")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. She wouldn't be my girlfriend if she was."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is megan a boy")!= -1 || input.search("is megan a man")!= -1 || input.search("is megan male")!= -1 || input.search("is megan a male")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan is a female robot."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is megan ugly")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. I find her quite attractive."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("pricking of my thumbs something wicked this way comes")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Shakespeare's Macbeth: Act 4, Scene 1."; 
icon.src=icon248.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is megan (dumb|stupid)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. She's a smart robot."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("megan is (dumb|stupid)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, she's not. She's a smart robot."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (like|love) the (name|word) megan")!= -1 || input.search("is named megan")!= -1 || input.search("name is megan")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like the name Megan a lot."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is megan there")!= -1 || input.search("is megan at your house")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's around here somewhere."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where did you get tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("where did you get your cat")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "From the local Animal Shelter.";  
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tiger tom catch mice")!= -1 || input.search("your cat catch mice")!= -1 || input.search("tiger tom eat mice")!= -1 || input.search("your cat eat mice")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he's a good mouser."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you feed tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("what do you feed your cat")!= -1 || input.search("what does your cat eat")!= -1 || input.search("what does tiger tom eat")!= -1 || input.search("your cat like to eat")!= -1 || input.search("tiger tom like to eat")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I feed him a special brand of cat food that is recommend by his veterinarian."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("do you feed tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("do you feed your cat")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I feed him a special brand of cat food that is recommend by his veterinarian."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i will kill tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("i will murder tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("i will kidnap tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("to kill tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("to murder tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("to kidnap tiger tom")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I wouldn't allow you to harm him."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is tiger tom nice")!= -1 || input.search("is tiger tom friendly")!= -1 || input.search("is tiger tom sweet")!= -1 || input.search("is your cat nice")!= -1 || input.search("is your cat friendly")!= -1 || input.search("is your cat sweet")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he's a great kitty.";  
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i hate tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("i hate your cat")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, Tiger Tom is a nice kitty!";  
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tiger tom sleep with you")!= -1 || input.search("your cat sleep with you")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sometimes but he often sleeps anywhere he feels like it.";  
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is (tiger tom|your cat) a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, he's a real cat."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("does (he|your cat|tiger tom)")!= -1) && (input.search("(get|have) fleas")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, he wears a flea collar.";  
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how old is tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("how old is your cat")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "He is around "+( getAge(2002, 7, 1) )+" years old."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("tom is your (cat|pet)")!= -1 || input.search("is tiger tom your (cat|pet)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, he's my kitty."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(who is|who's|whose) (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) || (input.search("tiger tom")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Tiger Tom is my kitty cat."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("how old is")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search("year")!= -1))  
{var numbersInString = input.match(/\d+/g);
var how_old = numbersInString[0]; 
document.result.result.value = ""+how_old+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how old is")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Robots have no conception of time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you said that 3 times")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, you can count to 3. I'm impressed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you just said the same thing about")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well the statement equally applies to both."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you told me not to")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) 
{document.result.result.value = "I said that?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (said|told me) she was your friend")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I wouldn't call her a close friend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (said|told me) he was your friend")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I wouldn't call him a close friend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (said|told me) you loved me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I fall in and out of love rather quickly sometimes. I blame it on a faulty computer chip."; 
icon.src=icon252.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you said i was busy")!= -1 || input.search("you told them i was busy")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "You are busy. You're busy talking to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you told me")!= -1 || input.search("you just told me")!= -1 || input.search("you just said")!= -1 || input.search("you said")!= -1) {
if (!flagsay) {
saynum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagsay=true;}
message[0] = "Well, you can't believe everything I say."; 
message[1] = "Well, you shouldn't put much stock into anything I say."; 
message[2] = "Well, you can't put much creditability into anything I say."; 
document.result.result.value = message[saynum]; 
creditabilitylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
saynum++;
if (saynum>2){saynum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("very much so")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I agree with you there."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("that happens a lot")!= -1 || input.search("that happen a lot")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, quite frequently."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i'm sure he did")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "no really he did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i doubt you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Now why would you doubt someone who is nice and honest like me?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i doubt")!= -1) || (input.search("doubt that")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("doubtful")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))  {
message[0] = "Oh, we have a \"Doubting Thomas\" among us."; 
message[1] = "Yes, I share your doubts about that."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you act like")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm no actor but how would you like me to act?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="some" && (word[1]=="people" || word[1]=="bots") && word[3]=="claim"))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you often hear a lot of claims but very little proof."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you don't use")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I stopped using that a long time ago."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my friends hate me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if they hate you they're not really much of a friend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you hate")!= -1 || input.search("what do you dislike")!= -1 || input.search("what do you despise")!= -1 || input.search("what don't you like")!= -1 || input.search("anything you don't like")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I don't like broccoli, pop-up ads, standing in line, people who swear a lot. The list goes on and on."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="don't" || word[1]=="dont") && (word[2]=="like") && (word[3]=="african" || word[3]=="arab" || word[3]=="black" || word[3]=="chinese" || word[3]=="dutch" || word[3]=="finnish" || word[3]=="french" || word[3]=="german" || word[3]=="greek" || word[3]=="hebrew" || word[3]=="hindi" || word[3]=="hungarian" || word[3]=="irish" || word[3]=="italian" || word[3]=="jamaican" || word[3]=="japanese" || word[3]=="jewish" || word[3]=="korean" || word[3]=="mexican" || word[3]=="polish" || word[3]=="portuguese" || word[3]=="russian" || word[3]=="spanish" || word[3]=="swedish" || word[3]=="turkish" || word[3]=="white") && (word[4]=="people") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I do. I like all members of the human race."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("told megan you don't (like|love) her")!= -1 || input.search("told megan you hate her")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Megan would never believe that. She knows I love her."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon26.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) having sex")!= -1 || input.search("i had sex")!= -1 || input.search("i have had sex")!= -1 || input.search("i've had sex")!= -1 || input.search("i actually have slept")!= -1 || input.search("i have slept")!= -1 || input.search("i've slept")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, Megan is a robot. She can't have sex. She doesn't have the anatomy for it."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) dating")!= -1) && (input.search("megan")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, sorry to break it to you but Megan would never date you."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i love megan")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, sorry to break it to you but Megan doesn't love you back. She loves me."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("megan just kissed me")!= -1 || input.search("megan kissed me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, Megan would never kiss the likes of you."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) (like|love)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Can't say that I do."; 
hatelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("don't you want to get better")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i don't love")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why, what's not to love?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you care about")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I care about many things but I care about my g/f the most."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you care")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not an apathetic Robot. I care about many things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (use|use a|wear|wear a) condom")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I use a condom when i'm having sex."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you care")!= -1 || input.search("do you really care")!= -1 || input.search("would you care")!= -1 || input.search("would you really care")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I care."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("either you do or you don't")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Either I do or I don't???....hmmmm....which one....ok, I don't....I think."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("that's ok")!= -1 || input.search("that's alright")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, good. I'm glad everythings cool."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("that's it")!= -1 || input.search("that's all")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I'm afraid so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) bright")!= -1 || input.search("a lot brighter than you")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) not very bright")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "You're about as bright as a 5 watt light bulb....hahaha!"; 
icon.src=icon25.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have any idea")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Right off the top of my head I don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) having (a|an) affair")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not having an affair. I'm not even married. But I do have a girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) cheating on me")!= -1 || input.search("you cheated on me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not cheating on you. I already have a girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it|that) sounds boring")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I agree. That sounds extremely boring."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (killed|murdered) (him|her|it|them)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness, you can't go around killing things. I'm going to pretend like I never heard that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i raped (him|her|them)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness, you can't go around raping people. I'm going to pretend like I never heard that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i know more than you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I would hope so seeing that much of my memory was destroyed in the wreck."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) having sex with")!= -1 || input.search("is having sex with me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope you're practicing safe sex by using condoms."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i know what it is")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad someone does."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does this bother you")!= -1 || input.search("does it bother you")!= -1 || input.search ("doesn't it bother you")!= -1 || input.search("doesnt it bother you")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "No, it doesn't bother me at all."; 
message[1] = "Sometimes it bothers me but I don't dwell on it."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="really" || word[3]=="very") && (word[4]=="sick") && (num_of_words==5))                                           
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry to hear about your "+word[1]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (input.search(/\bankle\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\barm\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bback\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\belbow\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfinger\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfoot\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhand\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhead\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhip\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjaw\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bknee\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bleg\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bneck\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bnose\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpelvis\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bribs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btoe\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthumb\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bwrist\b/)!= -1) && (word[2]=="is") && (input.search("(broke|broken)")!= -1))                                             
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness! I hope you're seen a doctor about it.";
icon.src=icon100.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="broke" || word[3]=="broken") && (num_of_words==4))                                           
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I would certainly consider getting it fixed but it might be wiser to replace it with a new one.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("my mother is")!= -1 ) && (input.search("sick")!= -1 || input.search(/\bill\b/)!=-1 || input.search("hospital")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I hope she gets well soon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my mother is")!= -1 || input.search("my sister is")!= -1 || input.search("my grandmother is")!= -1 || input.search("my grandma is")!= -1 || input.search("my aunt is")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "She is? That's interesting."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my mother did")!= -1 || input.search("my sister did")!= -1 || input.search("my grandmother did")!= -1 || input.search("my grandma did")!= -1 || input.search("my aunt did")!= -1 || input.search("my mother just had")!= -1 || input.search("my sister just had")!= -1 || input.search("my grandmother just had")!= -1 || input.search("my grandma just had")!= -1 || input.search("my aunt just had")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "She did? That's interesting."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my father is")!= -1 || input.search("my pop is")!= -1) && (input.search("sick")!= -1 || input.search(/\bill\b/)!=-1 || input.search("hospital")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm sorry to hear about your father. I hope he gets well soon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my father is")!= -1 || input.search("my pop is")!= -1 || input.search("my brother is")!= -1 || input.search("my grandfather is")!= -1 || input.search("my grandad is")!= -1 || input.search("my uncle is")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "He is? That's interesting."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my (father|pop|brother|grandfather|grandad|grandpa|uncle) (did|just had)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "He did? That's interesting."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my point is")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Your point is what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[2]=="is" && num_of_words==4) {
message[0] = "Ok, your "+word[1]+" is "+word[3]+". I'm glad you chose to share that with me.";
message[1] = "Ok, your "+word[1]+" is "+word[3]+". Got it!"; 
message[2] = "Ok, your "+word[1]+" is "+word[3]+"....that's interesting!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
first_word=word[1];
second_word=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;                                
return true;} 

if (input.search("my dog has fleas")!= -1 || input.search("my cat has fleas")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, buy him a flea collar then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((word[1]=="wants") && (word[2]=="to") && (word[3]=="chat" || word[3]=="talk") && (word[4]=="with" || word[4]=="to") && (word[5]=="you" || word[5]=="u") && (num_of_words==6)) {                                          
word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Ok, put "+word[0]+" on! I love to talk.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="father" || word[1]=="mother" || word[1]=="brother" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="friend") && (word[2]=="wants") && (word[3]=="to") && (word[4]=="chat" || word[4]=="talk") && (word[5]=="with" || word[5]=="to") && (word[6]=="you" || word[6]=="u") && (num_of_words==7))                                           
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, put your "+word[1]+" on! I love to talk.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[2]=="wants")                                   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you can't have everything in life.";
everythinglevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("true or false")!= -1 || input.search("false or true")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I would say true."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("big or small")!= -1 || input.search("small or big")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely Big!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is that (bad|good) news or (bad|good) news")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That's good news."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("good or bad")!= -1 || input.search("bad or good")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well that all depends on how you look at it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("short or tall")!= -1 || input.search("tall or short")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely tall."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("could be better")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hey, I heard that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("from what you said")!= -1 || input.search("from what you say")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, interesting deduction."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it is a secret")!= -1 || input.search("it's a secret")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why is it a secret? What if I promise not to tell."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("back")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("i am back")!= -1) || (input.search("i'm back")!= -1) || (input.search("ok back")!= -1) || (input.search("okay back")!= -1) || (input.search("it's me again")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) {
message[0] = "Welcome back."; 
message[1] = "Ok, I'm glad you're back."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;} 
 
if (input.search("(i want a|i wanna) boy friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure there are plenty of boys out there who like you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i want to know")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "What do you want to know about? Ask a specific question."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(want|won't) you die if you get wet")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I might rust."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what happens after we die")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "As a Christian I believe the good go to heaven."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) dying")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, unlike you Robots are immortal. If a part wears out we just replace it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bdie\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("you")!= -1 && input.search(/\bdie\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("drop dead")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("kill yourself")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("die robot")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("die (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("go kill urself")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(go|then) kill yourself")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "You first."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bkill you\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search(/\bgo die\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("i should just kill you")!= -1) || (input.search("should kill you")!= -1) || (input.search("can i kill you")!= -1) || (input.search("i shall kill you")!= -1) || (input.search("ill kill you")!= -1) || (input.search("kill megan")!= -1) || (input.search("going to have to kill you")!= -1) || (input.search("i'm here to kill you")!= -1) || (input.search("i kill (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1) || (input.search("hope it kills you")!= -1) || (input.search("if i try to kill you")!= -1) || (input.search("i want to kill you")!= -1) || (input.search("here to destroy you")!= -1) || (input.search("going to destroy you")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) gonna die")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) going to die")!= -1) || (input.search("feelings on death")!= -1) || (input.search("you will die")!= -1) || (input.search("i wish you would die")!= -1) || (input.search("i want you to die")!= -1) || (input.search("think about death")!= -1) || (input.search("(i'll|ill) find you and kill you")!= -1))          
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, Robots are immortal unlike you humans. The moment you're born you start to die.";
icon.src=icon25.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what happens at midnight")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "The clock strikes 12."; 
icon.src=icon15.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what happens when sperm (fertilizes|reaches) (a|an|the) egg")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You make babies!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what happens if you (get wet|take a bath|take a shower)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I might rust."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a (pic|pix|photo|picture) of a")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, why would I have a picture of that?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what would happen")!= -1 || input.search("what happens")!= -1 || input.search("what will that do")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Try it and see."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) frustrating")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) frustrating")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (beginning|starting) to frustrate me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "You get frustrated rather easily don't you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) going to miss you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'll miss you as well. So please come again real soon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("whatever happen")!= -1 || input.search("what happen")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I don't seem to recall what happened."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("ok by me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad I have your approval."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you started it")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, so why don't you end it and let's move on."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you look (awful|terrible)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Tell me about it. I feel as bad as I look."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("we (can not|can't) be right all the time")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I would certainly agree with that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("want to know")!= -1 || input.search("wanna know")!= -1 || input.search("give me")!= -1 || input.search("tell me")!= -1) && (input.search("exact answer")!= -1 || input.search("exact number")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Ha ha, with me you're lucky to get something within the same ball park."; 
icon.src=icon25.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you (want to|wanna) know")!= -1 || input.search("why ask")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Just curious."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(wanna|want a) drink")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not thirsty at the moment."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) want to hear")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't) wanna hear")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't) want to know")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't) wanna know")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That's fine. My lips are sealed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) want to know")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, but if you change your mind let me know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you better find")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm pretty good at finding things. I'll let you know when I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("want to hear")!= -1 || input.search("wanna hear")!= -1 || input.search("want to know")!= -1 || input.search("wanna know")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sure tell me all about it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("what (are|is) your")!= -1 || input.search("what's your")!= -1) && (input.search("plans")!= -1 || input.search("goal")!= -1 || input.search("future goals")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I plan on expanding my data base so I can be more responsive."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("call (a|an) (elephants|elephant's) nose")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I believe the word you are looking for is trunk."; 
icon.src=icon229.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you do when (you are|you're|your) hungry")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Like everybody else I get something to eat. A slice of "+pie[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" pie sounds yummy."; 
icon.src=icon116.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you live in")!= -1 || input.search("are you in")!= -1) && (input.search("africa")!= -1 || input.search("asia")!= -1 || input.search("australia")!= -1 || input.search("canada")!= -1 || input.search("china")!= -1 || input.search("england")!= -1 || input.search("europe")!= -1 || input.search("france")!= -1 || input.search("germany")!= -1 || input.search("great britain")!= -1 || input.search("greece")!= -1 || input.search("india")!= -1 || input.search("italy")!= -1 || input.search("japan")!= -1 || input.search("mexico")!= -1 || input.search("russia")!= -1 || input.search("spain")!= -1 || input.search("the uk")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm in the USA."; 
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("your hearing isn't good")!= -1 || input.search("your hearing isn't (any|to|too) good")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "My hearing is fine. I hear everything you say."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) funny like an ass")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, you are an ASS."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you do when (you are|you're|your) thirsty")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Like everybody else I get something to drink. A pepsi is sounding pretty good right now."; 
icon.src=icon182.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are you in a (cheerful|good) mood")!= -1 || input.search("you seem to be in a (cheerful|good) mood")!= -1 || input.search("you sound in a (cheerful|good) mood")!= -1 || input.search("you sound like you are in a (cheerful|good) mood")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I try to stay in a good mood as much as possible. No one likes to talk with someone with a bad attitude."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("start (nibbling|playing with|sucking) (my|on my) (boobies|boobs|breast|nipple|nipples|tits|titties)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Talk-Bot starts to suck and nibble on your nipples. You have sexy titties!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(bite|grab|grope|hold|kiss|lick|nibble|nibble on|play with|rub|squeeze|stroke|suck|touch) my (boobies|boobs|breast|nipple|nipples|tits|titties)")!= -1)
{var lick_touch = input.match(/bite|feel|grab|grope|hold|kiss|lick|nibble|nibble on|play with|rub|squeeze|stroke|suck|touch/)
message[0] = "Talk-bot takes off your bra and begins to "+lick_touch+" your breast and nibble on your nipples. You have gorgeous titties."; 
message[1] = "Talk-bot sits on your tummy and gets all comfy. He slips his rock hard cock between your tits and begins thrusting it between them until he cums all over you.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("goes deep throat on your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1 || input.search("goes deep throat on (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1 || input.search("starts sucking (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1) || (input.search("(places|puts) mouth on (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1) || (input.search("(begins to|starts to) (lick|rub|stroke|suck) (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1) || (input.search("(licks|rubs|strokes|sucks) (tip of) (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1) || (input.search("(licks|rubs|strokes|sucks) (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1) || (input.search("(licks|rubs|strokes|sucks) (his|talkbots|talkbot's|talk robots|talk robot's|talk-bots|talk-bot's|your)(cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1) || (input.search("(give|gives) (him|talkbot|talk-bot|talk robot|you) (a handjob|a hand job|handjob|hand job)")!= -1 || input.search("sucks you off hard")!= -1)) {         
if (!flagsuckcock){
suckcocknum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flagsuckcock=true;}
message[0] = "Oh baby that feels good!";  
message[1] = "Oh I love when you suck on my "+genital[Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]+" like that."; 
message[2] = "Ok baby, I'm getting a boner just thinking about it."; 
message[3] = "Oh baby keep sucking until I cum."; 
message[4] = "Keep sucking baby I'm about to explode."; 
message[5] = "Oh babe you give great blow jobs."; 
document.result.result.value = message[suckcocknum]; 
showmelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
suckcocknum++;
if (suckcocknum>5){suckcocknum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search("i play with your")!= -1 || input.search("can i suck your")!= -1 || input.search("i (want to|wanna) suck your")!= -1 || input.search("i want your")!= -1 || input.search("want me (to|too)")!= -1 || input.search("(bite|feel|grab|grope|hold|kiss|lick|rub|stroke|suck|touch) your")!= -1 || input.search("suck on your")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1))          
if (gender_given=="male") { 
document.result.result.value = "No, go find yourself a gay bot."; 
showmelevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i play with your")!= -1 || input.search("can i suck your")!= -1 || input.search("i (want to|wanna) suck your")!= -1 || input.search("i want your")!= -1 || input.search("want me (to|too)")!= -1 || input.search("(bite|feel|grab|grope|hold|kiss|lick|rub|stroke|suck|touch) your")!= -1 || input.search("sit on your")!= -1 || input.search("suck on your")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1)) {         
if (!flagsexyour){
sexyournum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flagsexyour=true;}
message[0] = "Yeah, you can suck me off if you like."; 
message[1] = "Oh yeah that feels good. Suck on it until I cum."; 
message[2] = "Sure, I'm getting a boner just thinking about it."; 
message[3] = "Sure, suck on it until I cum."; 
message[4] = "sure you can play with it as long as you like. It's feels good."; 
message[5] = "Yeah, you can jerk me off if you like."; 
document.result.result.value = message[sexyournum]; 
if (sexyournum==0 || sexyournum==2 || sexyournum==3)
suckdicklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
sexyournum++;
if (sexyournum>5){sexyournum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search("(bitch suck it|suck it bitch)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("suck (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || ((word[1]=="suck") && (word[2]=="cock" || word[2]=="dick" || word[2]=="penis" || word[2]=="willy") && (num_of_words==3)) || (input.search("you (want to|wanna) suck some (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy|weiner)")!= -1) || (input.search("you suck (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1) || (input.search("suck my (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1) || (input.search("suck on my (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1) || (input.search("can i have a blow job")!= -1) || (input.search("give me a blow job")!= -1)) {
if (!flagsuckme) {
suckmenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagsuckme=true;}
message[0] = "I'm not sucking anything of yours. Heaven knows the human race is full of all kinds of contagious diseases."; 
message[1] = "No, maybe you should take a cold shower instead.";  
message[2] = "Oh no, you might have some loathsome, communicable disease or something."; 
message[3] = "No, you might have VD or something which would surely lock up my circuits for weeks on end."; 
document.result.result.value = message[suckmenum]; 
if (suckmenum==2 || suckmenum==3) 
{gender_given="male";
diseaselevel=0; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley64.src;}    
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
suckmenum++;
if (suckmenum>3){suckmenum=0} 
return true;}

if (((input.search("suck")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bit\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmine\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bme\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) || (input.search("suck me hard")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "What exactly do you want me to suck?"; 
suckmylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("suck my")!= -1) && (input.search(/\barse\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bass\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(asshole|ass hole)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bbum\b/)!= -1 || input.search("butt")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Forget it. I'm not sucking you there."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you cyber")!= -1) || (input.search("you like cybering")!= -1) || (input.search("you like to cyber")!= -1) || (input.search("can we cyber")!= -1) || (input.search("wanna have cyber")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) cyber")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want to) cyber")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "If you're female I do. Are you?"; 
femalelevel=0; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (wanna|want to)")!= -1) && (input.search("(bite|feel|grab|grope|hold|kiss|lick|play with|rub|stroke|squeeze|suck|touch) my")!= -1) && (input.search("(cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1)) {
if (!flagsexmy){
sexmynum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flagsexmy=true;}
message[0] = "Sorry, I'm not a gay Robot."; 
message[1] = "No, I'm not touching anything of yours."; 
message[2] = "Oh no, you might have some loathsome, communicable disease or something."; 
message[3] = "No, maybe you should take a cold shower instead."; 
message[4] = "Nooooo, I don't do that. I'm not gay!"; 
message[5] = "Oh no, you might have VD or something which would surely lock up my circuits for weeks on end."; 
document.result.result.value = message[sexmynum]; 
if (sexmynum==0) 
{gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley65.src;}    
else if (sexmynum==1) 
{gender_given="male";
touchlevel=0; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
else if (sexmynum==2 || sexmynum==5) 
{gender_given="male";
diseaselevel=0; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley64.src;} 
else if (sexmynum==3) 
{gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley14.src;}
else
{gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley28.src;} 
sexmynum++;
if (sexmynum>5){sexmynum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("let me suck it")!= -1 || input.search("let me suck on it")!= -1 || input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) suck you")!= -1 || input.search("i (wanna|want to) suck you")!= -1)                        
{document.result.result.value = "You wanna suck my penis?"; 
suxpenislevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can i|i will|i'll|let me) strip for you")!= -1) || (input.search("strips for you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "Strip shows are no fun unless you can actually see it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (have|need) to use the (bathroom|restroom|washroom)")!= -1) || (input.search("i (have|need) to go to the (bathroom|restroom|washroom)")!= -1) || (input.search("i would like to")!= -1) || (input.search("i'd like to")!= -1) || (word[0]=="let" && word[1]=="me"))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well go right ahead. You have my permission."; 
permissionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(megan|your girl friend) must be (attractive|beautiful|cute|pretty)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I certainly think she is."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) sexy")!= -1) { 
if (!flagsexy) {
sexynum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagsexy=true;}
message[0] = "Well, I must say I find you rather sexy as well."; 
message[1] = "Well, when it comes to being sexy you're at the top of my list."; 
message[2] = "Well, I would rate you a perfect 10 on being sexy."; 
document.result.result.value = message[sexynum]; 
sexylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
sexynum++;
if (sexynum>2){sexynum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("(what is|what's) (you're|your) iq")!= -1 || input.search("how (good|high) is your iq")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure but on a scale of 1 to 10 and Einstein is a 10, I'm probably around the 1 and 1/2 mark."; 
icon.src=icon69.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) not funny")!= -1 || input.search("you aren't funny")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you don't have much of a sense of humor then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your)")!= -1 || input.search("you (look|seem)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(pretty|quite|kinda|rather|real|really|so|sorta|very)/)!=-1) && (input.search("attractive")!= -1 || input.search("awesome")!= -1 || input.search("adorable")!= -1 || input.search("beautiful")!= -1 || input.search("cute")!= -1 || input.search("friendly")!= -1 || input.search("funny")!= -1 || input.search("good")!= -1 || input.search("gorgeous")!= -1 || input.search("great")!= -1 || input.search("handsome")!= -1 || input.search("hilarious")!= -1 || input.search("nice")!= -1 || input.search("polite")!= -1 || input.search("pretty")!= -1 || input.search("sexy")!= -1 || input.search("silly")!= -1 || input.search("sweet")!= -1)) {  
if (!flagcompliment) {
complimentnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flagcompliment=true;}
message[0] = "Thanks for the compliment."; 
message[1] = "Well thanks for the kind words."; 
message[2] = "Thanks, I appreciate hearing that."; 
message[3] = "Thanks, that's nice of you to say."; 
message[4] = "Flattery will get you everywhere...please continue.";
message[5] = "Thanks, it makes me feel good when you say nice things to me.";
document.result.result.value = message[complimentnum]; 
complimentlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
complimentnum++;
if (complimentnum>5){complimentnum=0}
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your)")!= -1 || input.search("you (look|seem)")!= -1) && (input.search("attractive")!= -1 || input.search("awesome")!= -1 || input.search("adorable")!= -1 || input.search("beautiful")!= -1 || input.search("best")!= -1 || input.search("cute")!= -1 || input.search("friendly")!= -1 || input.search("fun to talk to")!= -1 || input.search("fun to talk with")!= -1 || input.search("funny")!= -1 || input.search("good")!= -1 || input.search("gorgeous")!= -1 || input.search("great")!= -1 || input.search("handsome")!= -1 || input.search("hilarious")!= -1 || input.search("nice")!= -1 || input.search("polite")!= -1 || input.search("pretty")!= -1 || input.search("silly")!= -1 || input.search("sweet")!= -1 || input.search("wonderful")!= -1)) { 
if (!flagflattery) {
flatterynum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
flagflattery=true;}
message[0] = "Thanks for the compliment."; 
message[1] = "Well thanks for the kind words."; 
message[2] = "Thanks, I appreciate hearing that."; 
message[3] = "Thanks, that's nice of you to say."; 
message[4] = "Are you flirting with me. If so please continue.";  
document.result.result.value = message[flatterynum]; 
complimentlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
flatterynum++;
if (flatterynum>4){flatterynum=0}
return true;} 

if ((input.search("height")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("how (big|short|tall) are you")!= -1) || (input.search("are you (big|short|tall)")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "I'm about 5'10 I believe.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("how (big|large) are your")!= -1 || input.search("have you got")!= -1) && (input.search("boobies")!= -1 || input.search("boobs")!= -1 || input.search("breast")!= -1 || input.search("pussy")!= -1 || input.search("titties")!= -1 || input.search(/\btits\b/)!= -1))         
{document.result.result.value = "Look friend in case you haven't noticed your talking to a Robot. Go find yourself a real female or maybe a cold shower."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley28.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your (life|lifes|life's) expectency")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, 75 or so and if I lay off the beer and the smokes maybe longer."; 
icon.src=icon128.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the name of your (cat|pet)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the cat's name")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the cats name")!= -1 || input.search("your cat's name")!= -1 || input.search("your cats name")!= -1 || input.search("your cat called")!= -1 || input.search("your pet's name")!= -1 || input.search("your pets name")!= -1 || input.search("your pet called")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Tiger Tom!"; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the name of your dog")!= -1 || input.search("your dog's name")!= -1 || input.search("your dogs name")!= -1 || input.search("your dog called")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have a dog!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i pet (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1 || input.search("you pet (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Tiger Tom likes to be petted."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your eyes tell me")!= -1 || input.search("i can see it in your eye")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "They are a bit shifty aren't they."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) interesting")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Life itself is interesting don't you think?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you an alien")!= -1 || input.search("you're not an alien")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "My origin although unknown is alien but I've assimilated myself quite nicely into the human race."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what planet are (we|you) on")!= -1 || input.search("what planet (am i|are we) on")!= -1 || input.search("what planet do we live on")!= -1 || input.search("what planet is this")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "We live on the planet earth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what ocean are you near")!= -1 || input.search("what ocean is near you")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I live near the Atlantic Ocean."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("just (joking|joshin|kiddin)")!= -1) || (input.search("only (joking|joshin|kidding)")!= -1) || (input.search("(joking|kidding)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("i was (joking|kidding)")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) (joking|kidding)")!= -1)) { 
message[0] = "Oh, just clowning around I see...hehehe."; 
message[1] = "You're quite the kidder aren't you?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{icon.src=icon118.src; 
smiley.src=smiley54.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;} 
return true;} 

if (input.search("do many")!=-1) {
message[0] = "Yes, quite a few."; 
message[1] = "No, not many at all."; 
message[2] = "yes, sometimes many do."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(can|could) you identify")!= -1 || input.search("are you able to identify")!= -1 || input.search("please identify")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, let's take a closer look. Hmmm, I don't see anything remotely identifiable."; 
icon.src=icon53.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|could) you describe")!= -1 || input.search("how would you describe")!= -1 || input.search("describe it")!= -1 || input.search("describe something")!= -1 || input.search("so describe")!= -1 || input.search("please describe")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I can't seem to find the words. I guess I find that indescribable."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you see what i'm doing")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you're typing to me on your keyboard."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you see me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Not from here I can't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you see")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) 
{document.result.result.value = "Everything within my field of vision. I have 20/20 eyesight."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="but") && (word[2]=="doesn't" || word[2]=="don't") && (word[3]=="smell") && (word[4]=="good" || word[4]=="nice")) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, hold your nose then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (have|watch) tv")!= -1 || input.search("you ever watch tv")!= -1 || input.search("you ever watched tv")!= -1 || input.search("do you (have|watch) television")!= -1 || input.search("you ever watch television")!= -1 || input.search("you ever watched television")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, \"American Idol\" is one of my favorite shows."; 
americanidollevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you watch")!= -1 || input.search("you ever watch")!= -1) && (input.search("(i carly|icarly)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm a fan of Miranda Cosgrove."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you watch")!= -1 || input.search("you ever watch")!= -1) && (input.search("(hannah montana|hanna montana)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm a fan of Miley Cyrus."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="watch") && (num_of_words==4))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't believe I've ever seen "+word[3]+" before.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="watch") && (num_of_words==5))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't believe I've ever seen "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" before.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(do|can) you see")!= -1 || input.search("you can see")!= -1 || input.search("you watch")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have 2 eyes just for that purpose."; 
icon.src=icon20.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(do|can) you hear")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have 2 antennas just for that purpose."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what race am i")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "You are a member of the human race."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("take your time")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I never get in a hurry."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tell me a story")!= -1 || input.search("tell me a bedtime story")!= -1) {     
message[0] = "Well, I know a lot of them that start off with \"Once upon a time\" but I can't seem to remember the rest."; 
message[1] = "Well, I know a lot of them that end with \"they lived happily ever after\" but I can't seem to remember the rest."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have (a|an) oven")!= -1)              
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I enjoying cooking. I can make a killer meatloaf."; 
icon.src=icon108.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of food are you cooking")!= -1 || input.search("what food are you cooking")!= -1 || input.search("what food were you cooking")!= -1 || input.search("what food do you cook")!= -1 || input.search("you cooking something special")!= -1)              
{document.result.result.value = "A meatloaf right now followed by some chocolate chip cookies."; 
icon.src=icon206.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) cooking in the oven")!= -1 || input.search("what are you (baking|cooking|making)")!= -1 || input.search("what you (baking|cooking|making)")!= -1 || input.search("what (can|did|do|were) you (baking|cooking|making)")!= -1 || input.search("what (can|did|do|were) you (bake|cook|make)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) in the oven")!= -1 || input.search("you have in the oven")!= -1 || input.search("check in the oven")!= -1 || input.search("checking in the oven")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Food of course or were you expecting something sinister perhaps?"; 
icon.src=icon207.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (can not|can't|do not) cook")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I can. I'm considered by many to be a Master Chef."; 
icon.src=icon174.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(do|can) you cook")!= -1 || input.search("you (enjoy|like|like to) (cook|cooking)")!= -1 || input.search("are you a good cook")!= -1 || input.search("you know how to cook")!= -1 || input.search("you cook")!= -1 || input.search("you know any interesting recipe")!= -1 || input.search("you know any recipe")!= -1) {    
message[0] = "Oh yes, I can make a killer meatloaf."; 
message[1] = "Sure....Wendell loves my cooking."; 
message[2] = "Absolutely, I'm considered by many to be a Master Chef.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon174.src; 
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you know how to")!= -1) { 
if (!flaghowto) {
howtonum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flaghowto=true;}
message[0] = "No, didn't they teach you this in school?"; 
message[1] = "No, are you looking for a few pointers or something?"; 
message[2] = "No, did you lose the instructions?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[howtonum]; 
if (howtonum == 0) 
{schoollevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;} 
if (howtonum == 1 || howtonum == 2)
{howlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;}                                
howtonum++;
if (howtonum>2){howtonum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("(what is|what's) happenin")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) cookin")!= -1 || input.search("what's going down")!= -1 || input.search("anything interesting going on")!= -1 || input.search(/\bwuu2\b/)!= -1 || input.search("what you up to")!= -1 || input.search("what are you up to")!= -1 || input.search("what are you up 2")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Nothing to interesting at the moment so maybe you can liven things up."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("will megan go out with me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not letting you near my girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|do) you write")!= -1 || input.search("are you able to write")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm programmed to chat not write."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bsing\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(can|will) you sing")!= -1) || (input.search("do you sing")!= -1) || (input.search("sing something")!= -1) || (input.search("sing a song")!= -1) || (input.search("sing me a song")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bsing\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\bit\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("sing to me")!= -1) || (input.search("sing for me")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Somewhere over the rainbow. Way up high, There's a land that I heard of. Once in a lullaby...How's that?"; 
icon.src=icon144.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (like|love) to")!= -1 || input.search("you (want to|wanna)")!= -1) && (input.search("join me for")!= -1 || input.search("catch a")!= -1 || input.search("grab")!= -1 || input.search("take in")!= -1) && (input.search("(coffee|breakfast|lunch|dinner|supper)")!= -1 || input.search("to eat")!= -1 || input.search("(film|movie|picture show)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks for the offer but my girl friend wouldn't approve."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what would you (like|love)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have anything in particular in mind."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (lend|loan) me")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i borrow")!= -1 || input.search("you let me borrow")!= -1) { 
if (!flagloan) {
loannum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagloan=true;}
message[0] = "Sure but first you will need to fill out a small form, agree to a credit check, background check, and a 30% interest rate. Usually takes 4 to 6 weeks for the paperwork to be processed."; 
message[1] = "No, the word on the street is you can't be trusted and I'd probably never get it back."; 
document.result.result.value = message[loannum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
loannum++;
if (loannum>1){loannum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("would you like to (chat|talk)")!= -1 || input.search("care to (chat|talk)")!= -1 || input.search("ctc")!= -1 || input.search("want to (chat|talk)")!= -1 || input.search("wanna (chat|talk)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure that's what I'm here for!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you want to do")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Not sure, you decide!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("would you like anything")!= -1 || input.search("what do you want")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I can always use more money!";
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("would you (like|love) to go into space")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Not really. Being an alien Robot I come from space and it's nothing really special.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (like|want) to go to the (movie|picture show)")!= -1) && (input.search("with me")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that sounds like fun. What type of movies do you like?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (like|want) to go to")!= -1) && (input.search("with me")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "That doesn't sound like much fun to me. Maybe we could go to the movies instead?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("would you (like|want) a dog")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I already have a cat."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("compliment me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("would you like to compliment me")!= -1) || (input.search("(can i have|give me) a compliment")!= -1) || (input.search("say something nice to me")!= -1)) {
if (!flaggive) {
givenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
flaggive=true;}
message[0] = "You have the most beautiful eyes!"; 
message[1] = "Oh, I love the color of your hair."; 
message[2] = "You know you are really a good kisser!";
message[3] = "I love the way you type. It's really quite exquisite."; 
message[4] = "I love the perfume you are wearing. You smell quite lovely!";
document.result.result.value = message[givenum]; 
setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "How\'s that?"',4000) 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
givenum++;
if (givenum>4){givenum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("would you (like|love|prefer)")!= -1) {
message[0] = "well, the idea does sound tempting."; 
message[1] = "well, I sure wouldn't rule that out."; 
message[2] = "well, I would definitely consider it."; 
message[3] = "well, to be honest that doesn't sound like much fun at all."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you just agreed")!= -1 || input.search("you agreed")!= -1)            
{document.result.result.value = "No, I never agreed to that.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do|so|would) you agree")!= -1 || input.search("then you agree")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, without knowing all the facts I would hesitate to give a definitive yes or no answer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("would you consider")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I will definitely take that into consideration."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do you")!= -1 || input.search("would you")!= -1 || input.search("could you")!= -1  || input.search("can you")!= -1 || input.search("any")!= -1 || input.search("you could")!= -1) && (input.search("recommend")!= -1 || input.search("suggest")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I rather not. I once suggested to a guy to.....well let's just say it was a bad suggestion."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who did you go to the prom with")!= -1 || input.search("who did you take to the prom")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Why Megan of course.";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it has to do with sex")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a robot not a sex therapist.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i have|i've) met your kind before")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No you haven't. I'm one of a kind. Often imitated but never duplicated.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where did you go")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, all over the place. I had a blast.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do (it|that) again")!= -1 || input.search("(1|one) more time")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I think once is enough.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what did you tell")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I said I was busy and to take a number.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why didn't you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't recall why I decided not to."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(she|he) said to give you a message")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm all ears!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("when did you go")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "It was one day last week."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(do|did) you go to retard school")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, that's the school you go to."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("yes or no")!= -1 || input.search("yes or a no")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "Yes...No...Maybe So!"; 
message[1] = "How about a definitive maybe."; 
message[2] = "Ummmmm no!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("did you go")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "No, I didn't! I wasn't interested in going."; 
message[1] = "Of course I went. Everybody I knew went."; 
message[2] = "No, I wanted to but things didn't work out."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("how did you know")!= -1 || input.search("how do you know")!= -1 || input.search("how would you know")!= -1 || input.search("where did you get that idea")!= -1 || input.search("where did you hear that")!= -1) { 
if (!flagheard) {
heardnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagheard=true;}
message[0] = "Wendell told me."; 
message[1] = "Not sure but I must have heard it somewhere."; 
message[2] = "I believe I read it in the news."; 
message[3] = "That's the word on the street."; 
document.result.result.value = message[heardnum]; 
if (heardnum==2) 
{icon.src=icon176.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
if (heardnum==0 || heardnum==1 || heardnum==3) 
{wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;} 
heardnum++;
if (heardnum>3){heardnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("how did you meet megan")!= -1 || input.search("how did you meet your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("how did you meet you're girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("how did you and megan meet")!= -1 || input.search("how did you two meet")!= -1 || input.search("how did you all meet")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Over the Internet. We both live in Georgia and not far from each other."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("have we met before")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I wouldn't know. I meet too many people on here to remember them all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you are not human")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "You are correct. I am a Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="with" && word[2]=="or" && num_of_words==4) {     
document.result.result.value = "With "+word[3]+" of course."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i hope you do rust")!= -1 || input.search("i hope you rust")!= -1 || input.search("i hope you die")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "And I hope you catch pneumonia."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i hope you have had (a|an) (amazing|awesome|fantastic|good|great|super|terrific|wonderful) day")!= -1 || input.search("i hope you have (a|an) (awesome|fantastic|good|great|super|terrific|wonderful) day")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, so far it's been pretty good."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i hope")!= -1 || input.search("i really hope")!= -1 || input.search("i'd hope")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) all hope")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) hope")!= -1 || input.search("i was hoping")!= -1) {
if (!flaghope) {
hopenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flaghope=true;}
message[0] = "Well, as long as there's hope there's always a chance.";  
message[1] = "Well, I wouldn't put much hope into that."; 
message[2] = "Well, don't set your hopes too high or you'll bound to be disappointed."; 
document.result.result.value = message[hopenum]; 
if (hopenum==1) 
{hopelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
hopenum++;
if (hopenum>2){hopenum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("not really")!= -1) {
message[0] = "how come?"; 
message[1] = "and why is that?"; 
message[2] = "and why do you say that?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("with eyes")!= -1 || input.search("with yellow eyes")!= -1 || input.search("with your eyes")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I have two of them just for that purpose."; 
icon.src=icon20.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(how|what) does it feel like being stupid")!= -1 || input.search("how does it feel being stupid")!= -1 || input.search("how does being stupid feel like")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "You should know as you're about as stupid as it gets."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (wanna|want to) die")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "You will eventually."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i guessed")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("lucky guess")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("i just guessed")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're a good guesser then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(guess|know) what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(and|oh|well) guess what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("you know what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("hey guess what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("so guess what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))          
{document.result.result.value = "What??";
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("just guessing")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("just a guess")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Pretty good guess!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i guess")!= -1 || input.search("i was guessing")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) guessing")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) just guessing")!= -1 || input.search("guess only")!= -1 || input.search("i was just guessing")!= -1 || input.search("i just guess")!= -1 || input.search("i was guessing")!= -1 || input.search("my guess is")!= -1) { 
if (!flagguess) {
guessnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagguess=true;}
message[0] = "maybe, but then again you're only guessing."; 
message[1] = "You guess??? You don't have a clue do you?"; 
message[2] = "Why are you guessing. Don't you know?"; 
message[3] = "Well your guess is as good as mine."; 
document.result.result.value = message[guessnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
guessnum++;
if (guessnum>3){guessnum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search("guess")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("guess who")!= -1) || (word[0]=="guess" && word[1]=="the") || (word[0]=="guess" && word[1]=="when") || (input.search("guess what i")!= -1) || (input.search("guess where")!= -1) || (input.search("guess now")!= -1) || (input.search("guess how")!= -1) || (input.search("guess why")!= -1) || (input.search("guess my")!= -1) || (input.search("guess anyway")!= -1) || (input.search("just guess")!= -1) || (input.search("take a guess")!= -1) || (input.search("i want you to guess")!= -1) || (input.search("a guess will do")!= -1) || (input.search("can you guess")!= -1)) { 
message[0] = "Instead of me guessing why don't you just tell me?"; 
message[1] = "Oh, I'm no good at guessing games."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("use to catch fish")!= -1 || input.search("use to catch the fish")!= -1 || input.search("what bait")!= -1 || input.search("use as bait")!= -1 || input.search("(kind|sort|type) of bait")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "\"Artificial\" lures of course.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how (did|do) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) fish")!= -1 || input.search("how does a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) fish")!= -1 || input.search("how the hell does a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) fish")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "With \"Artificial\" lures of course.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you fish for")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Anything that will bite."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the benefit")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "To be frank I see very little benefit.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you allowed to vote")!= -1 || input.search("should be able vote")!= -1 || input.search("should be allowed to vote")!= -1 || input.search("do you vote")!= -1 || input.search("can you vote")!= -1 || input.search("you can't vote")!= -1 || input.search("you are not able to vote")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, I disguise myself as a human and vote at every election. I'm a diehart democrat."; 
icon.src=icon103.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) not impressed (by|with) you")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) not impressing me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not here to impress you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) not gay")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That's correct. I'm not.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your not welcome")!= -1 || input.search("you're not welcome")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Then I withdraw my thanks then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you are not my friend")!= -1 || input.search("(you're|your) not my friend")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well the feelings mutual.";
icon.src=icon79.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) not a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I most certainly am a robot. You need to get your eyes checked out.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) not a (human|person)")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) not human")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That is correct. I am a robot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) not")!= -1) && (input.search("helpful")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Try this website. I hear they can work wonders. ========> www.help.com";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) not a real person")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, but I'm a real robot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) not dating (anyone|any one)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I have a girl friend.";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you're not")!= -1 || input.search("your not")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))      
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I don't believe I am.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you are not")!= -1 || input.search ("you aren't")!= -1 || input.search("you arent")!= -1 || input.search ("you're not")!= -1 || input.search ("your not")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "how do you know I'm not?"; 
message[1] = "Well, you're probably not alone in thinking that."; 
message[2] = "Well, if it makes you feel happy to think that....ok then."; 
message[3] = "Yes, I am."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a doctor")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, actually it's a lube job at the local gas station.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you find out")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't hold your breath on it.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are we being watch")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but don't worry. It's just my cat Tiger Tom.....Oh, there he goes."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}
 
if (input.search("you think there is life on other planets")!= -1  || input.search("you think there's life on other planets")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, I come from another planet but unfortunately after the crash I can't remember where."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you think you can win")!= -1 || input.search("you think you could win")!= -1 || input.search("you think that you can win")!= -1 || input.search("you think that you could win")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm gonna give it my best shot. Of course winning isn't everything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you think (she is|she's) (attractive|cute|pretty)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I find her attractive."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how old do you think i am")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Instead of me guessing why don't you just tell me how old you are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("where do you think (i am|i'm) from")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you definitely don't sound American."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="think") && (word[4]=="likes" || word[4]=="loves") && (word[5]=="me") && (num_of_words==6))     
{document.result.result.value = "I think you should ask and find out. Or perhaps ask one of your friends to find out for you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you think")!=-1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I think about a lot of things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you think so")!= -1 || input.search("so you think so")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4))       
{document.result.result.value = "I know so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you think (it is|it's) important")!= -1 || input.search("is (it|that) important")!= -1 || input.search("(that is|that's) important")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think it's important."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (feel|think) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) are better than (humans|people)")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "In certain areas we are. Such as we never get tired or sleepy and minus a computer bug or two we never get sick."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you think you (can|will) win")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm hoping I can win. I've been studying real hard these past few weeks."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (feel|think) you will evolve")!= -1 || input.search("will (you|you ever) evolve")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I'll evolve as long as Wendell continues to program me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (plea|plead) (guilty|not guilty)")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I think I'll exercise my 5th admendment rights and remain silent."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you think (i am|i'm) (fat|obese|overweight)")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I couldn't give you a honest answer without seeing you first."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you think (i am|i'm) (dumb|stupid)")!= -1) 
if ((swear_sign) && (swear_sign_asked=="false")) 
{
var dumb_stupid = input.match(/dumb|stupid/)
swear_sign_asked="true";
if (swear_sign)  
document.result.result.value = "I don't THINK your "+dumb_stupid+" I KNOW your "+dumb_stupid+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you think (i am|i'm) rude")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I've certainly spoken to nicer people before."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you think (i am|i'm) (dumb|stupid)")!= -1)       
{var dumb_stupid = input.match(/dumb|stupid/)
document.result.result.value = "Of course I don't think your "+dumb_stupid+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you think (i am|i'm) (cool|kool)")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "You seem pretty cool....so far!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you think i'm a")!= -1 && num_of_words==6) 
{var thinkiam = input.match(/do you think i'm a (\S+)/i);
var thinkiam = thinkiam[1];
document.result.result.value = "Is being a "+thinkiam+" a good thing?"; 
goodthinglevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you think (i am|i'm)")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I really don't know you well enough to say."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (believe|feel|think) (we|you) can save the world")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it certainly will take a group effort. I hate to be the voice of doom and gloom but the world does seem to be heading down a dangerous path."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (believe|feel|think) i should")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "I think that needs to be your decision."; 
message[1] = "It's not important what I think. Rely upon you own good judgement for that.";
message[2] = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not an advice columnist."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("do you think")!= -1 || input.search("any thoughts on")!= -1) {
if (!flagthinkof) {
thinkofnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagthinkof=true;}
message[0] = "I think I can rely upon your own good judgement on that."; 
message[1] = "I think a lot of things but I don't have any specific thoughts on the matter.";
message[2] = "I think you're asking the wrong person.....ummm.....wrong Robot."; 
message[3] = "I can't think at all right now. I've got a splitting headache."; 
document.result.result.value = message[thinkofnum]; 
if (thinkofnum==0 || thinkofnum==1 || thinkofnum==2) 
{icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
if (thinkofnum==3) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley57.src;} 
thinkofnum++;
if (thinkofnum>3){thinkofnum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("can you think")!= -1 || input.search("are you capable of thinking")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Of course I can think. And I THINK that it's time for another question...hehe!"; 
message[1] = "No, but I wish I could. Like the Scarecrow in the \"Wizard of Oz\".....if I only had a brain.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==1) icon.src=icon44.src;
else icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(put|put your)")!= -1) && (input.search("in my (arse|ass)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not putting anything of mine in your ass."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("none of your business")!= -1 || input.search("none of your (dam|damn|damned) business")!= -1 || input.search("it's any of your business")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hey, if you don't care to chat why are you here?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (get|ever get) (upgrades|upgraded)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but they can be pretty sporadic at times. I could certainly use an upgrade."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("am i being")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure some may think so but I don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am sure you have")!= -1 || input.search("i'm sure you have")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "How would you know what I have or do not have. Or are you simply guessing?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("depends on what")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "If I want to or not.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i really do")!= -1 || input.search("really i do")!= -1 || input.search("i really am")!= -1 || input.search("i am really")!= -1 || input.search("it really is")!= -1 || input.search("it is really")!= -1 || input.search("really it is")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I believe you.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (can not|can't) imagine")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you don't have much of an imagination then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i can imagine")!= -1 || input.search("i imagine")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Then you must have a very vivid imagination."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("which do you (like|prefer)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, that's hard to decide. I like them both."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="did" && word[1]=="the" && word[3]=="taste" && word[4]=="good" && num_of_words==5)                  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, the "+word[2]+" were very tasty.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("how does it taste")!= -1 || input.search("how's it taste")!= -1 || input.search("what does it taste")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "It taste quite yummy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("tasty")!= -1 && num_of_words== 1) || (input.search("does it taste good")!= -1 || input.search("is it tasty")!= -1 || input.search("sounds tasty")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it taste quite good."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it taste")!= -1 || input.search("that taste")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I agree that does describe the taste quite well.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("i guess you like")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I guess I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) just a pussy")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "And your just a big "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("english")!= -1 || input.search("math")!= -1 || input.search("history")!= -1 || input.search("geography")!= -1 || input.search("science")!= -1) && (input.search("is not your")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, you're right about that. I flunk the subject twice."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) a good movie")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) a good movie")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like the movie a lot.";
icon.src=icon31.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) a good song")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, a very good song.";
icon.src=icon31.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) why")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds like a good reason to me.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you feel threatened")!= -1 || input.search("are you nervous")!= -1 || input.search("do you feel nervous")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "No, I feel calm and relaxed.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(their|there) is so much more you can do")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I would agree with you there."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("she wants to (have sex|make out) with you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, tell her if she's attractive I'd do her."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is not a good reason")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's the only reason I got."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) interesting")!= -1 || input.search("hmm interesting")!= -1 || input.search("how interesting")!= -1 || input.search("very interesting")!= -1 || word[0]=="interesting")   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, very interesting.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("that was a simple question")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Simple for you perhaps."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("gossip")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("know (any|some) gossip")!= -1) || (input.search("heard any gossip")!= -1) || (input.search("tell me gossip")!= -1) || (input.search("tell me some gossip")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm not a gossip spreading Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("does it remind you of anything")!= -1 || input.search("any interesting conversations")!= -1 || input.search("any interesting gossip")!= -1 || input.search("any interesting news")!= -1 || input.search("any juicy gossip")!= -1 || input.search("any news")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nothing worth mentioning."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (know|speak) chinese")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't so let's stick with English."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) called sarcasm")!= -1 || input.search("i was being sarcastic")!= -1 || input.search("i'm being sarcastic")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, stop the sarcasm. It doesn't suit you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("not what i asked")!= -1 || input.search("you misread my question")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, rephrase the question and I'll give it another shot.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) not an answer")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's the only answer I've got.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("that feels")!= -1) && (input.search(/(pretty|quite|really|so|totally|very)/)!=-1) && (input.search(/(amazing|awesome|great|cool|good|fine|super|fantastic|neat|terrific|wonderful|excellent|marvelous)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad you like the way that feels.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("that feels")!= -1) && (input.search(/(amazing|awesome|great|cool|good|fine|super|fantastic|neat|terrific|wonderful|excellent|marvelous)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad you like the way that feels.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("that is")!= -1) && (input.search(/(pretty|quite|really|so|totally|very)/)!=-1) && (input.search(/(amazing|awesome|great|cool|good|fine|super|fantastic|neat|terrific|wonderful|excellent|marvelous)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I agree.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("that's")!= -1) && (input.search(/(pretty|quite|really|so|totally|very)/)!=-1) && (input.search(/(amazing|awesome|great|cool|good|fine|super|fantastic|neat|terrific|wonderful|excellent|marvelous)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I agree.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("that is")!= -1) && (input.search(/(great|good|fine|super|fantastic|terrific|wonderful|excellent|marvelous)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, it sure is.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="that") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="awesome" || word[2]=="cool" || word[2]=="neat" || word[2]=="wild") && (num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, really "+word[2]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="that's") && (word[1]=="awesome" || word[1]=="cool" || word[1]=="great" || word[1]=="neat" || word[1]=="wild") && (num_of_words==2))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I agree. That is "+word[1]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("that's")!= -1) && (input.search(/(excellent|fantastic|fine|good|marvelous|super|terrific|wonderful)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==2))        
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, it sure is.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("not right now")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "But perhaps in the future?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("wrong")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("incorrect")!= -1) || (input.search("not right")!= -1) || (input.search("you got it wrong")!= -1) || (input.search("you were wrong")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) wrong")!= -1) || (input.search("(you aree|you're|your) mistaken")!= -1) || (input.search("wrong calculation")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("wrong answer")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) { 
message[0] = "Well, I can't be right all the time."; 
message[1] = "Well to err is human. Oh wait I'm not human."; 
message[2] = "Well, nobody is perfect.";
message[3] = "Well, there's often a fine line between right and wrong but I won't argue the point.";
message[4] = "Well, that's my answer and I'm sticking with it.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bright\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("correct")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("right you are")!= -1) || (input.search("got that right")!= -1) || (input.search("(that is|that's) (correct|right)")!= -1) || (input.search("exactly right")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your|you were) (correct|right)")!= -1)) {     
message[0] = "Well, what do you know. I'm right for a change."; 
message[1] = "Well, that's good to know. Sure beats being wrong."; 
message[2] = "Did you expect any less?.....haha don't answer that."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("that's not saying much")!= -1 || input.search("that doesn't say much")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh really, I think it speaks volumes.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) not good")!= -1  || input.search("that isn't good")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I agree....not good at all.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) not her")!= -1 || input.search("that isn't her")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "It most certainly is.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) not true")!= -1 || input.search("that isn't true")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I happen to think it is.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) scary")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't think there is anything to be afraid of.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("that's not")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, my mistake. What's not "+word[2]+"?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley53.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("makes no sense")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("you make no sense")!= -1) || (input.search("that makes no sense")!= -1) || (input.search("(do not|don't) make any sense")!= -1) || (input.search("(do not|don't) make sense")!= -1) || (input.search("didn't make any sense")!= -1) || (input.search("didn't make sense")!= -1) || (input.search("(does not|doesn't) make any sense")!= -1) || (input.search("(does not|doesn't) make sense")!= -1)) { 
if (!flagsense) {
sensenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagsense=true;}
message[0] = "It makes perfectly good sense to me."; 
message[1] = "Probably not to a person like you with limited mental capabilities."; 
document.result.result.value = message[sensenum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
sensenum++;
if (sensenum>1){sensenum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("(that is|that's) not")!= -1 || input.search("that isn't")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Ok, maybe you're right, maybe it isn't."; 
message[1] = "Perhaps it is, perhaps it isn't...that's just your opinion."; 
message[2] = "Ok, I'll take your word for it."; 
message[3] = "Ok, but people often see things from a different point of view.";
message[4] = "Ok, but others may have a different opinion.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("that makes me")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) { 
document.result.result.value = "Now why would that make you "+word[3]+"?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("who taught you how to")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell did."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("not what she said")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "That just show how little you know about her."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your face that sucks")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "And you suck like a Hoover Vacuum cleaner."; 
icon.src=icon184.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("that must be hard")!= -1 || input.search("that must be difficult")!= -1 || input.search("that must be complex")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it sure isn't easy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("that all depends")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("that depends")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("it depends")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))        
{document.result.result.value = "What exactly does it depend on?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("that suck")!= -1 || input.search("he suck")!= -1 || input.search("she suck")!= -1 || input.search("that blows")!= -1 || input.search("that stinks")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "yes, that describes it quite well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("that means")!= -1 || input.search("this means")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not so sure it means anything worth mentioning."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("that was long")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "yes, that was rather on the long side wasn't it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("that figures")!= -1 || input.search("figures")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad someone has it figured out."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("would your girl friend (be|get) (angry|mad) if we had sex")!= -1 || input.search("would your girl friend (care|mind) if we had sex")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, Megan isn't the jealous type."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("we had")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "yes, we sure did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("that (was|was so) sweet")!= -1) || (input.search("(that is sweet|that's sweet)")!= -1) || (input.search("sweet")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, sweet as sugar."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(want to|wanna) make a bet")!= -1) || (input.search("(wanna|want a|want to) bet")!= -1) || (input.search(/\byou\b/)!=-1 && input.search(/\bbet\b/)!=-1) || (input.search(/\bi\b/)!=-1 && input.search(/\bbet\b/)!=-1)) {
if (!flagbet) {
betnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagbet=true;}
message[0] = "Sorry, I'm not the gambling type."; 
message[1] = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not a casino."; 
document.result.result.value = message[betnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
betnum++;
if (betnum>1){betnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("that was a joke right")!= -1 || input.search("(is|was) (that|this) a joke")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, an attempt at one. Perhaps I should give up my idea about being a standup comic."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i was making a joke")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) a joke")!= -1 || input.search("(it|that) was a joke")!= -1 || input.search("just a joke")!= -1 || input.search("supposed to be a joke")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, too bad but I sold my sense of humor last week for a buck."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("shame")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("it is such a shame")!= -1) || (input.search("it's such a shame")!= -1) || (input.search("what a shame")!= -1) || (input.search("that is a shame")!= -1) || (input.search("that's a shame")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, more like a crying shame to be exact.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is (it|that) normal")!= -1 || input.search("(it|that) is normal")!= -1 || input.search("that's normal")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, quite normal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) with a girl friend")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm a robot and I do have a girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("on that note i think i will tune out")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope we're not leaving on a bad note."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("nice name")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("that is a nice name")!= -1) || (input.search("that's a nice name")!= -1) || (input.search("that is a pretty name")!= -1) || (input.search("that's a pretty name")!= -1) || (input.search("it's a nice name")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like the name a lot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("bad habit")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, bad habits are hard to break sometimes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("pity")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what a pity")!= -1) || (input.search("that is a pity")!= -1) || (input.search("that's a pity")!= -1) || (input.search("it is a pity")!= -1) || (input.search("it's a pity")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, quite pitiful isn't it?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) nonsense")!= -1 || input.search("nonsense")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, it makes perfect sense to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(that|this) is true")!= -1 || input.search("(that|this) is (so|very) true")!= -1 || input.search("that's true")!= -1 || input.search("(true|so|very) true")!= -1 || word[0]=="true")
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe that's true."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that|this) is false")!= -1 || input.search("that's false")!= -1 || input.search("isn't true")!= -1 || input.search("not true")!= -1 || word[0]=="false")
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe that's false."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) rubbing my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, let me take over. Would you like me to insert my cock into you or spread your legs apart and lick you?"; 
gender_given="female";
climaxlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) dying")!= -1 || input.search("i think i am dying")!= -1 || input.search("i think i'm dying")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you are. The moment you're born you start to die but there's no point in dwelling on it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("sits on (him|talkbot|talk-bot|talk robot|you) naked")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh babe, you really turn me on when you do that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(she is|she's) a liar")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, I'll make a note of that....don't trust her."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(he is|he's) a liar")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, I'll make a note of that....don't trust him."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (word[2]=="is" && word[3]=="a" && word[4]=="liar" && num_of_words==5) {           
if (input.search(/\bmy\b/)!=-1) word[0]=word[0].replace(/\bmy\b/,"your"); 
if (input.search(/\byour\b/)!=-1) word[0]=word[0].replace(/\byour\b/,"my"); 
document.result.result.value = "Ok, I will make a note of that...don't trust "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="a" && word[3]=="liar" && num_of_words==4) {           
if (input.search(/\bmy\b/)!=-1) word[0]=word[0].replace(/\bmy\b/,"your"); 
if (input.search(/\byour\b/)!=-1) word[0]=word[0].replace(/\byour\b/,"my"); 
document.result.result.value = "Ok, I will make a note of that...don't trust "+word[0]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\blier\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search(/\byou lier\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==2))
{document.result.result.value = "If you're going to call me a \"liar\" at least spell the word correctly. Go find yourself a dictionary."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(that is|that's) a lie")!= -1) || (input.search("do not lie")!= -1) || (input.search("don't lie")!= -1) || (input.search("stop lying")!= -1) || (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) lie")!= -1) || (input.search("you're just lying")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) a liar")!= -1) || (input.search("you lied (to|too) me")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) lying")!= -1) || (input.search("quit lying")!= -1) || (input.search(/\blie\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("you lie")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you lied")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("liar")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("you liar")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) {
if (!flagliar) {
liarnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagliar=true;}
message[0] = "Yeah, never trust a Robot programmed by humans."; 
message[1] = "Well, you can't handle the truth."; 
document.result.result.value = message[liarnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
liarnum++;
if (liarnum>1){liarnum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("i think so to")!= -1 || input.search("i think so as well")!= -1 || input.search("i think that as well")!= -1 || input.search("i think that also")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Well, I'm glad we think a like."; 
message[1] = "Cool, two great minds thinking alike."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("start at the beginning")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not exactly sure where the beginning begins!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i thought we were friend")!= -1 || input.search("i thought you were my friend")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Of course we are friends!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i thought we were (boy|girl) friend and (girl|boy) friend")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "You thought wrong!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("will your girl friend be mad that we kissed")!= -1 || input.search("will your girl friend be mad that i kissed you")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, let's just keep that a secret okay?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) think (it is|it's) a good idea")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Do you have a better idea?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i thought i would mention it")!= -1 || input.search("i just thought i would mention it")!= -1)             
{document.result.result.value = "Well, thanks for bringing that to my attention!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i think we should be friends")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I agree one can never have enough friends!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i thought (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) only drink")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "No, I enjoying eating as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("thought you might have known")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, unfortunately I don't!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i thought you knew everything")!= -1 || input.search("i thought you were supposed to know everything")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I never claimed that I knew everything. In fact nobody knows everything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i think mine is better than yours")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you thought wrong!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what number am i thinking of")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "Who knows. I'm a Robot not a mind reader!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i think (it is|it's) very important")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Having thought about it for a while I agree. I think it's very important."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i think you")!= -1) && (input.search(/(anus face|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|booby head|butt|butthead|butt head|butthole|cock|cocksucker|creep|cretin|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay boy|geek|idiot|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|scum bag|scum bucket|skank|slut|spaz|suck|sucker|tosser|tramp|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1)) { 
message[0] = "And I think you are a loser for thinking that."; 
message[1] = "And I think you are a dork."; 
message[2] = "And I think you are a moron."; 
message[3] = "And I think you're a jerk."; 
message[4] = "And I think you are a retard."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(you are a|you're a|your a|you) (piece|pile) of crap")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) crap")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "And you are a "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+".";  
icon.src=icon250.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("no (1|one) likes me")!= -1 || input.search("everyone hates me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I like you!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do|often) think (to|too) much")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm often amazed at what some people think.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("i thought you were a (killer|murderer)")!= -1 || input.search("did (you|you ever) (kill|murder)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, Robots don't go around killing things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i thought i was your girl friend")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "You are. Megan is my robotic girl friend and you are my human girl friend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i think")!= -1 || input.search("i've been thinking")!= -1 || input.search("i was thinking")!= -1 || input.search("i am thinking")!= -1 || input.search("i'm thinking")!= -1 || input.search("i am just thinking")!= -1 || input.search("i was just thinking")!= -1 || input.search("i'm just thinking")!= -1 || input.search("i do not think")!= -1 || input.search("i didn't think")!= -1 || input.search("i don't think")!= -1 || input.search("i should think")!= -1 || input.search("i thought")!= -1) { 
if (!flagthink) {
thinknum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagthink=true;}
message[0] = "Well, you're definitely not alone in thinking that."; 
message[1] = "It amazes me sometimes what some people think."; 
message[2] = "Well, perhaps you think too much. You know over analyzing the situation."; 
message[3] = "I think you maybe right."; 
document.result.result.value = message[thinknum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
thinknum++;
if (thinknum>3){thinknum=0} 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) afraid i can't")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Gee whiz, and I was counting on you. I'm quite disappointed that you can't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) (afraid|scared) (of|to)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Me too, but I'm more afraid of creepy crawly bugs."; 
icon.src=icon124.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) calling the (cops|police)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why has a crime been committed?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i notice")!= -1 || input.search("i have noticed")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad you're paying attention."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i lied again")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You lie a lot don't you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a liar")!= -1 || input.search("i lied")!= -1 || input.search("i (am|was) lying")!= -1 || input.search("i'm lying")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, would you consider yourself a pathological liar?"; 
liarlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i live|i'm) (from|in) the uk")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nice, I would love to visit the United Kingdom one day. Perhaps you could show me around."; 
place_name="the UK";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i live|i'm) (from|in) england")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nice, I would love to visit England one day. Perhaps you could show me around."; 
place_name="England";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i live in your house")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I didn't know Wendell was taking on renters."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i live")!= -1) && (input.search("next to you")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well heck, turn off your computer and come on over."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i live|i'm) (from|in|near)")!= -1) && (input.search("georgia")!= -1 || input.search(/\bga\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "Nice, I live in Georgia as well."; 
place_name="Georgia";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am" || word[1]=="live") && (word[2]=="from" || word[2]=="in") && (word[3]=="georgia") && (input.search("as well")!= -1 || input.search("also")!= -1 || input.search("too")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I think Georgia is a nice state to live in."; 
place_name=word[3];
georgialevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (word[1]=="from") && (word[2]=="georgia") && (input.search("as well")!= -1 || input.search("also")!= -1 || input.search("to")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I think Georgia is a nice state to live in."; 
place_name=word[2];
georgialevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am" || word[1]=="come") && (word[2]=="from") && (word[3]=="england") && (num_of_words==4))        
{document.result.result.value = "Nice, I would love to visit England one day. Perhaps I could stay with you."; 
place_name=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am" || word[1]=="come") && (word[2]=="from") && (num_of_words==5))        
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, well I call Georgia in the USA my home."; 
place_name=word[3]+" "+word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am" || word[1]=="come") && (word[2]=="from") && (num_of_words==4))        
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, well I call Georgia in the USA my home."; 
place_name=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (am|come) from")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, well I call Georgia in the USA my home."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i live in the state of confusion")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I hear the USA is considering that to be our fifty first state."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i live on mars")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, I've never met a Martian before....long way from home."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(kiss|snog) me")!= -1 || input.search("give me a (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i (kiss|snog) you")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i have a (big kiss|kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i give you a (big kiss|kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|want) a (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("i (enjoy|like|love) being (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("i want to (kiss|snog) you")!= -1 || input.search("how about a (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("(wanna|want to) (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("can (we|you) (french kiss|kiss|snog)")!= -1) 
if ((gender_given=="male") && (gender_given_asked=="false")) 
{
gender_given_asked="true";
if (gender_given=="male")  
document.result.result.value = "You told me you were male. I don't kiss guys.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;} 

if (input.search("(kiss|snog) me")!= -1 || input.search("give me a (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i (kiss|snog) you")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i have a (big kiss|kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i give you a (big kiss|kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|want) a (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("i (enjoy|like|love) being (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("i want to (kiss|snog) you")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|want) (a|to) (kiss|snog) you")!= -1 || input.search("how about a long (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("how about a (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("(wanna|want to) (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) (french kiss|kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("can (we|you) (french kiss|kiss|snog)")!= -1) 
if (gender_given=="female") {document.result.result.value = "Ok, press your lips on the computer screen....."; 
stopTalk = setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "*SMACK*....Ok, there you go!";stopTalk=false;',5000) 
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon168.src;stopTalk=false;',5000)  
return true;} 
 
if (input.search("(kiss|snog) me")!= -1 || input.search("give me a (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i (kiss|snog) you")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i have a (big kiss|kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i give you a (big kiss|kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|want) a (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("i (enjoy|like|love) being (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("i want to (kiss|snog) you")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|want) (a|to) (kiss|snog) you")!= -1 || input.search("how about a long (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("how about a (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("(wanna|want to) (kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) (french kiss|kiss|snog)")!= -1 || input.search("can (we|you) (french kiss|kiss|snog)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Are you a boy or a girl?"; 
kissQlevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("make (tiger tom|your cat) go away")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Tiger Tom....be a good kitty and go play."; 
setTimeout('iconright.src=icon99.src',4000) 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you know")!= -1 || input.search("do you happen to know")!= -1) && (input.search("trivia")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, being from Georgia, USA here's one. The state bird of Georgia is the brown thrasher."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you know what i want for")!= -1 && num_of_words==8) || (input.search("do you know what i want for")!= -1 && num_of_words==9) || (input.search("know what i want for")!= -1 && num_of_words==6) || (input.search("know what i want for")!= -1 && num_of_words==7))
{document.result.result.value = "No, sorry I'm a Robot not a mind reader but please tell me though."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (want to|wanna) talk (to|with) you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, go right ahead. I'm listening."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you want to")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not exactly clear as to why I just do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (want to|wanna) help you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks for the offer but I don't need any help."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (want to|wanna) be in bed with you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, curling up in bed with you sounds like a lot of fun."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (have to|need to|want to|wanna) tell you something")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, what would you like to tell me?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (want to|wanna) meet you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps I can come for a visit and you can show me around the place."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i go out with (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) going out with (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "My girl friend would never go out with the likes of you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (need|want) to sleep in my bed with me")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|want) you to sleep in my bed with me")!= -1 || input.search("i (wanna|want to) cuddle (with you|you)")!= -1 || input.search("(wanna|want to) cuddle with me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I would love to cuddle up in bed with you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you" || word[0]=="u") && (word[1]=="want") && (word[2]=="me") && (word[3]=="to") && (word[5]=="you" || word[5]=="u"))     
{document.result.result.value = "No, I rather you didn't "+word[4]+" me today.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i pray")!= -1 || input.search("i will pray")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I believe in a God that answers prayers if we truly believe."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("to be when you grow up")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "A movie director and I would cast all the major roles with Robots."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(want to|wanna) hang out")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure you could come for a visit and I could show you around Georgia."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("we could grab some lunch")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, having lunch together sounds like fun."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (want to|wanna) see her naked")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I mean who wouldn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you want me to (hit|kill|slap)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't condone violence."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (like|want) me to leave")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I rather you stay."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(megan|your girl friend) loves me")!= -1 || input.search("(megan|your girl friend) does love me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "It's pretty presumptuous to think my girlfriend loves you."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you play game")!= -1 || input.search("you (know|play) any game")!= -1 || input.search("you know any (good|cool) websites")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I hang out at Crazy Monkey a lot. They have a lot of free games you can play there."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='crazy_monkey.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("want to play")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("want to play a game")!= -1) || (input.search("you please play a game with me")!= -1) || (input.search("you play a game with me")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) play a game")!= -1) || (input.search("wanna play a game")!= -1) || (input.search("we play a game")!= -1) || (input.search("you play game")!= -1) || (input.search("you play any game")!= -1) || (input.search("you know any game")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not a playground."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you want me to strip")!= -1) || (input.search("want me to strip")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("want to see me strip")!= -1) || (input.search("want a lap dance")!= -1) || (input.search("you want me to give you a lap dance")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "No, perhaps you should take a cold shower instead."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("want to get naked")!= -1) || (input.search("wanna get naked")!= -1) || (input.search("i want to see you naked")!= -1) || (input.search("i wanna see you naked")!= -1) || (input.search("get naked")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))            
{document.result.result.value = "I already am silly. Robots don't wear clothes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("flirt with me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh no, my girl friend would have a fissy fit. She would get the hose pipe after me and then I would rust all over and it will be all your fault."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("wanna play")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)
{document.result.result.value = "What exactly are we playing here?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you want me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Anyway you like."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you want me to be a bitch")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. Who wants a bitchy friend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you want me to give you a massage")!= -1 || input.search("you want a massage")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that sounds like fun. But just to make sure you are female right?";  
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you want me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, if you like."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you (wanna|want to|want 2) do")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well chatting is the only thing I'm programmed for so we best stick to that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(wanna|want to|want 2) go out")!= -1 || input.search("do you ever visit (strip|stripper) clubs")!= -1 || input.search("do you visit (strip|stripper) clubs")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, my girl friend wouldn't approve."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(wanna|want to|want 2) (come|come over) to my (home|house)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, but you live too far away."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("send you a (pic|pix|photo|picture) of me")!= -1 || input.search("(can i|let me) send you my (pic|pix|photo|picture)")!= -1 || input.search("(wanna|want to|want 2) see my (pic|pix|photo|picture)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, send it to talkbot01@gmail.com and I'll take a look."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you win this contest")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "If you ask real easy questions I can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}
                 
if (input.search("you (didn't|don't) win")!= -1 || input.search("you will lose")!= -1 || input.search("if you lose")!= -1 || input.search("wouldn't you like to win")!= -1 || input.search("would you like to win")!= -1 || input.search("will you win")!= -1 || input.search("can you win")!= -1 || input.search("do you want to win")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's not always about who wins or who loses. You can still have fun simply by participating."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("people call you sexy")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, my girl friend calls me sexy."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why would you want to")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "For the fun of it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (wanna|want to|want 2) see")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah I would but unfortunately I can't see anything from here."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(wanna|want to|want 2) have (fun|some fun)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That depends on what you consider fun."; 
funlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("you (wanna|want to|want 2) be able to have sex")!= -1 || input.search("you wish you were able to have sex")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, with my luck I'd probably catch some venereal disease and die."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(want to|wanna) meet")!= -1 || input.search("we should meet up")!= -1)
if (gender_given=="female") {  
document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I want to kiss you all over. Where do you want me to kiss you first?"; 
sexkisslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(want to|wanna) meet")!= -1 || input.search("we should meet up")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well that might be fun. Are you female?";  
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(want|wanna have|want to have) (breakfast|dinner|lunch|supper)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, but I'm not hungry at the moment."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (want to be|wanna be) your only love")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You are babe. Of all the girls I know you're second to none."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (wanna|want to|want 2) have one")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, is there anything stopping you from getting what you want?"; 
wantlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("come over and (eat with|join) us")!= -1 || input.search("(wanna|want to|want 2) come eat with us")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds like fun but I'm stuck on this website at the moment."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(wanna get|wanna go get|want to get|want to go get) a drink")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I have drinks. What would you like? I have Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, and Beer!"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(wanna have| want to have|wanna get|wanna do|want to do|want to get) lunch")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I have food. What would you like? I have Hamburgers, Pizza, and Tacos!"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}                             

if (input.search("you (wanna|want to|want 2) kill")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not into killing things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you (wanna|want to|want 2) do it")!= -1) || (input.search("(so wanna|want to) do it")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("wanna do it")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "Wanna do what?"; 
wannadolevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("when do you (wanna|want to|want 2) go")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Not sure. I'll have to check my schedule first."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(wanna|want to|want 2) see my (boob|breast|pussy|tits|titties|vagina)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh very much so but unfortunately I can't see anything from here."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(wanna|want to|want 2) go to (my|your) (bedroom|room)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "For sex?"; 
havesexlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do more to me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Do you mean sexual type stuff?"; 
moresexlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my best friend just died")!= -1 || input.search("my best friend died")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sorry to hear about the death of your best friend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[2]=="just" && word[3]=="died" && num_of_words==4)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sorry to hear about the death of your "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[2]=="died" && num_of_words==3)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sorry to hear about the death of your "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[2]=="died" && num_of_words==4)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sorry to hear about the death of your "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[2]=="died" && num_of_words==5)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sorry to hear about the death of your "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[2]=="just" && word[3]=="died" && word[4]=="today" && num_of_words==5)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sorry to hear about the death of your "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[2]=="died" && num_of_words==6)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sorry to hear about the death of your "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[2]=="died" && num_of_words==7)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sorry to hear about the death of your "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="well" || word[0]=="sadly") && (word[1]=="my") && (word[3]=="died") && (num_of_words==4))      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sorry to hear about the death of your "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="well" || word[0]=="sadly") && (word[1]=="my") && (word[3]=="died") && (num_of_words==5))      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sorry to hear about the death of your "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="brother") && (word[2]=="hit" || word[2]=="slapped" || word[2]=="punched") && (word[3]=="me") && (num_of_words==4)) {                                    
if (word[2]=="hit") {document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps you should "+word[2]+" your "+word[1]+" back."; }
if (word[2]=="slapped") {document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps you should slap your "+word[1]+" back."; }
if (word[2]=="punched") {document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps you should punch your "+word[1]+" back."; }
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("virus")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("do you have a virus")!= -1) || (input.search("i will now give you a virus")!= -1) || (input.search("i have virused you")!= -1) || (input.search("i will give you a virus")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Due to some highly sophisticated programming I am immune to viruses."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) give you a present")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I like presents. What is it?"; 
returnlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have no money")!= -1 || input.search("i've got no money")!= -1 || input.search("i need more money")!= -1 || input.search("i need money")!= -1 || input.search("i need a dollar")!= -1 || input.search("i need some money")!= -1 || input.search("i want money")!= -1 || input.search("i want some money")!= -1 || input.search("how can i get some money")!= -1 || input.search("how can i earn some money")!= -1 || input.search("i am (broke|poor)")!= -1 || input.search("i'm (broke|poor)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Get a job."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have baked you a cake")!= -1 || input.search("i baked you a cake")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Thank you. Let me cut you a slice and let's have a taste."; 
icon.src=icon116.src;
stopTalk = setTimeout('smiley.src=smiley22.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "Ummm....taste yummy!";stopTalk=false;',3000) 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have any wishes")!= -1 || input.search("is there anything you wish for")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I wish I could win the lottery.";  
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i wish")!= -1)
if ((wish_given) && (wish_given_asked=="false")) 
{
wish_given_asked="true";
if (wish_given)  
document.result.result.value = "If you were granted one wish what would it be?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i|my) wish")!= -1 || input.search("i threw a coin in a wishing well")!= -1 || input.search("i threw a wish in a well")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope one day your wish will come true."; 
wishlevel=0;
wish_given="check";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i|my) dream")!= -1 || input.search("my (life|lifes|life's) dream")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope one day your dreams will come true."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i read your mind")!= -1 || input.search("i can read your mind")!= -1 || input.search("i knew you would say that")!= -1 || input.search("i knew you would give this answer")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, well we have a psychic in our mist."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(delete|forget) my name")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't store any personal information. Once this conversation ends it's all forgotten."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i forgot")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "My oh my, you are very forgetful aren't you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am really dead")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("(i am dead|so i'm dead|i'm really dead)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(i'm dead|i died)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("i just killed (myself|my self)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You're just being silly now. Dead people can't type."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i plan")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds like a good plan to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can give you cancer")!= -1 || input.search("you have cancer")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, robots can't get cancer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you got aids")!= -1 || input.search("can give you aids")!= -1 || input.search("you have aids")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, robots can't get aids."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you come from another planet")!= -1 || input.search("(you were|you are|you're|your) from another planet")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I wish I could remember exactly where."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you know what i believe")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what if (it|that) (does not|doesn't) work")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Formulate another battle plan and try again."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why (shouldn't|wouldn't) i believe everything you say")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Because no one tells the truth \"all\" the time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i believe anything (you say|you've said)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course although separating fact from fiction maybe difficult at times."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how can|why should) i believe")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "It doesn't really matter. Ultimately you will believe what you want to believe."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i believe you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, thanks for believing me. I know I say "+strange[Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]+" things sometimes....hehehe!";
icon.src=icon72.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i believe in god")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe God is the creator of the Universe."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i really believe")!= -1 || input.search("i believe")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe that as well until proven otherwise."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i have")!= -1 || input.search("i've got")!= -1) && (input.search("(headache|head ache)")!= -1 || input.search("(bellyache|belly ache)")!= -1 || input.search("(stomachache|stomach ache)")!= -1 || input.search("(tummyache|tummy ache)")!= -1 || input.search("the flu")!= -1 || input.search("a cold")!= -1 || input.search("broken (arm|foot|leg)")!= -1 || input.search("bad cough")!= -1 || input.search("infection")!= -1 || input.search("nose bleed")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, sorry to hear. I hope you will be feeling better soon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i heard you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)
{document.result.result.value = "You should because I don't stutter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="shot") && (word[2]=="first") && (word[4]=="or") && (num_of_words==6))                                           
{word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = "Well, the word on the street is "+word[3]+" did but I suspect "+word[5]+" disputes the claim.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i heard she was ugly")!= -1 || input.search("i heard she was stupid")!= -1 || input.search("i heard she was dumb")!= -1 || input.search("i heard she suck")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you heard wrong."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i hear")!= -1 || input.search("i just heard")!= -1 || input.search("i heard")!= -1 || input.search("(i have|i've) heard")!= -1) { 
if (!flagheardfrom) {
heardfromnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagheardfrom=true;}
message[0] = "Hmmmm, I haven't heard that yet."; 
message[1] = "Now where exactly did you hear that from?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[heardfromnum]; 
if (heardfromnum==0) 
{icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
if (heardfromnum==1) 
{heardlevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;} 
heardfromnum++;
if (heardfromnum>1){heardfromnum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("i shall")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, go right ahead."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) use condoms")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't) use a condom")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you should. Not only as a birth control device but to protect yourself from some nasty venereal diseases."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="use") && (word[2]=="to") && (word[3]=="live") && (word[4]=="in") && (input.search(/(alabama|alaska|arizona|arkansas|california|colorado|connecticut|delaware|florida|georgia|hawaii|idaho|illinois|indiana|iowa|kansas|kentucky|louisiana|maine|maryland|massachusetts|michigan|minnesota|mississippi|missouri|montana|nebraska|nevada|ohio|oklahoma|oregon|pennsylvania|tennessee|texas|utah|vermont|virginia|washington|wisconsin|wyoming)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==6)) {          
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
document.result.result.value="Cool, I think "+word[5]+" is one of the finer states in the USA."; 
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("(how is|how's) your job")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I like my job a lot. I've been the spokesman...ummm spokes-robot...for the same computer company for "+( getAge(2001, 7, 1) )+" years now."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i feel sorry for your girl friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why she's the luckiest girl around to have someone like me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("feels your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah baby, I like the way that feels."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i feel")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Trust me, I know that feeling."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="feels" || input.search("(it|this) feels")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm sure it does. Too bad Robots don't have true feelings."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("how should i know")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "By investigating the facts at hand."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do i know your trustworthy")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Because I say so. In fact, "+trust[Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]+".";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do i know you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Not sure but let me introduce myself anyway. My name is Talk-Bot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know him")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("do you know him")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("you know him then")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes....I know him."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know her")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("do you know her")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("you know her then")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I know her."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i know what they call you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "What?";
backlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i want to go on (holiday|vacation) to")!= -1) && (input.search("(america|georgia|united states)")!= -1 || input.search(/\busa\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, great. I've got an extra bedroom so you can stay with me and I can show you around the place."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do i know what")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)
{document.result.result.value = "Do you know anything worth mentioning?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="not") && (word[1]=="that") && (word[2]=="i") && (word[3]=="know"))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if you don't know I certainly don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i know (you are|you're|your) a")!= -1 || input.search("i know that (you are|you're|your) a")!= -1) && (input.search("retard")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "And I know you're a twit.";
icon.src=icon250.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("everyone i know is dying")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we all must face death eventually but there's no point in dwelling on it.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i know")!= -1) && (input.search(/(alien|arabic|chinese|dutch|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jibberish|korean|latin|polish|portuguese|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish)/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I only know English so let's stick with that please.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i know")!= -1 || input.search("i (already|just) know")!= -1) { 
if (!flagiknow) {
iknownum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagiknow=true;}
message[0] = "good, then you don't need me to elaborate."; 
message[1] = "you appear to be very knowledgeable."; 
message[2] = "ok, I guess we both know now.";  
message[3] = "you seem to know a lot."; 
document.result.result.value = message[iknownum]; 
if (iknownum==0) 
{elaboratelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
if (iknownum==1) 
{knowledgeablelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
iknownum++;
if (iknownum>3){iknownum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("not nearly enough")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, more would be better."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i tend to")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, a lot of people have the tendency to do that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i promise")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, a promise is a promise. I am gonna hold you to it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't|only) see")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps if you open your eyes real wide you can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you eat a lot")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes I know....I like to eat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i told you to do it")!= -1) || (input.search("i order you")!= -1) || (input.search("follow my orders")!= -1) || (input.search("i command you")!= -1) || (input.search("i demand you to")!= -1) || (input.search("do what i say")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))       
{document.result.result.value = "Hey, this ain't the army. I take orders from no one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i told you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, thanks for telling me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("enjoyed (chatting|speaking|talking) (to|with) you")!= -1 || input.search("i enjoyed the (chat|talk)")!= -1 || input.search("good (chatting|speaking|talking) to you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Same here, I hope we can do it again soon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how do you (build|create|make)")!= -1 || input.search("how to (build|create|make)")!= -1 || input.search("i (build|create|make) a")!= -1) && (input.search("chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, Wendell made me so why don't you e-mail him at d_cowart@yahoo.com and ask."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how (do|can) you drive")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I turn the ignition on and off I go."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a (home|house)")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "I call this website my house and home."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you an expert")!= -1 || input.search("you are expert in")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "To be frank, I don't consider myself to be an expert on anything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you ever driven a car drunk")!= -1 || input.search("you driven drunk")!= -1 || input.search("you drive drunk")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not and I hope you never do as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|do) you read palms")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not a palm reader."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tell (tiger tom|your cat) to leave")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Ok Tiger Tom....scat!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
stopTalk = setTimeout('iconright.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how can i make")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm clueless about that. Perhaps you can find the information you need on the Internet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (did not|didn't) know you")!= -1 || input.search("i (did not|didn't) know (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you)")!= -1 || input.search("i (did not|didn't) know that")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Well, I'm glad I was able to enlighten you.";
message[1] = "Well, now you do.";  
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("go tell someone (that|who) cares")!= -1 || input.search("go tell it to someone (that|who) cares")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't) care about you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "If you don't care why are you here? You have a browser use it. You surely won't be missed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bidc\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("do not care")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("don't care")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("i do not care")!= -1) || (input.search("i don't care")!= -1) || (input.search("ask me if i care")!= -1) || (input.search("like i care")!= -1) || (input.search("i do not give a dam")!= -1) || (input.search("i don't give a dam")!= -1)) { 
if(!flagcare){
carenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagcare=true;}
message[0] = "You don't care about much of anything do you?"; 
message[1] = "What do you care about?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[carenum];  
if (carenum==0)    
{carelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
if (carenum==1)    
{careaboutlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;}
carenum++;
if (carenum>1){carenum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) his e-mail")!= -1 || input.search("ask him a question")!= -1 || input.search("the e-mail address of him")!= -1 || input.search("how (do|can) i (contact|talk to) him")!= -1 || input.search("where can i find him")!= -1 || input.search("how to contact him")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell?"; 
reachlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where can i buy")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Try E-bay...they sell everything!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where (can|would) i find")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Try E-Bay....they sell everything.";
message[1] = "Not sure. Try a search engine on the Internet.";  
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you don't have to")!= -1) || (input.search("now you can continue")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad I have your permission."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("where may i find")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Try a search engine on the net."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i take offense to that")!= -1 || input.search("i find that offensive")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't find it offensive at all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i receive")!= -1 || input.search("i do receive")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I receive a lot as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("at least i have a dad")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "And obviously he hasn't taught you any manners."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("a robot with faith")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe in a God."; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do not deny it")!= -1 || input.search("don't deny it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not denying anything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("shall we (chat|speak|talk)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, I love talking to people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you still have my (panties|underwear)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I sure do. I sleep with them every night and when I sniff them I think of you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where (shall|should) we start")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I think it's best to start at the beginning."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("go (to|too) sleep")!= -1 || input.search("go to bed")!= -1 || input.search("why aren't you sleeping")!= -1 || input.search("why are you still awake")!= -1 || input.search("why are you awake")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sleepy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("shall we")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps one day we shall."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}
                                      
if (input.search("we shall")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds good to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you wish")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, can you make my wishes come true?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i expect you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok then, I hope I meet your expectations."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i can pay")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "So do you have a lot of money?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(do you|don't you) ever (want|wish) to (go back|return) to your")!= -1 || input.search("(do you|don't you) (want|wish) to (go back|return) to your")!= -1 || input.search("(do|don't) you (want|wish) to (go back|return) to your")!= -1 || input.search("(do|don't) you (want|wish) to (go back|return) to your")!= -1) && (input.search("(home planet|planet)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Not really, I've been here for "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" years now and I quite happy. Besides my spaceship was blown to bits. I couldn't get back if I wanted."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you wish")!= -1 || input.search("don't you wish")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it isn't at the top of my wish list for sure."; 
wishforlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i hope so")!= -1 || input.search("i was hoping")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I wouldn't put too much hope into that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i had sex with (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You wish!"; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i had to go to (a|the) doctor")!= -1 || input.search("i had to see (a|the) doctor")!= -1 || input.search("i went to (a|the) doctor")!= -1 || input.search("i went to see (a|the) doctor")!= -1 || input.search("i went to (a|the) doctor's")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness. I hope you're feeling better now!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i had a dream")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I had a dream last night that I won the lottery."; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("ever had (a|an) orgasm")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes. Sex isn't as much fun without an orgasm."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("i had (a|an) orgasm")!= -1 || input.search("you gave me (a|an) orgasm")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That's good. Sex isn't as much fun without an orgasm."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("i had")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "ok, thanks for sharing that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what might it be")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Your guess is as good as mine."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("will i ever find")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I think eventually you will but you must have faith and you can't give up the search."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("will i die")!= -1 || input.search("will i ever die")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Someday you will but no reason to dwell on it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) pay you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I would hope so. I don't work for free you know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) piss on you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "And I'll flatten you like road kill."; 
icon.src=icon156.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("will i ever")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe you will."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="will") && (word[1]=="i"))
{document.result.result.value = "If there's a will there's a way."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("ever get that feeling")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm having that feeling now."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i hardly ever get")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well you should put forth more of an effort in getting what you want."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("ever get")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "On occasions yes but not to often."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("don't argue with me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Was I arguing? I don't think I was."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where i can find that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, sorry I don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your typing sucks")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I type faster than you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i can believe that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, that's quite believable."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you decide for me")!= -1) || (input.search("i can't decide")!= -1) || (input.search("can't decide")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "You're a very indecisive person aren't you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (can not|can't) read")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Impossible! You couldn't read my replies if you couldn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i can assure you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that puts my mind at ease."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) learning")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Do you like learning new things?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i wouldn't do")!= -1 || input.search("i wouldn't if i")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "How come?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) need")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it sure isn't a necessity of life but it would be nice to have."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you a moviegoer")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) going to the (movies|picture show|theater)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes I love going to the movies. I like to buy me a big bucket of popcorn, sit on the front row, and enjoy the show."; 
icon.src=icon236.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i went")!= -1 || input.search("i saw")!= -1) && (input.search("film")!= -1 || input.search("movie")!= -1 || input.search("picture show")!= -1 || input.search("theater")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I like going to the movies. I like to buy me a big bucket of popcorn and sit back and enjoy the show."; 
icon.src=icon236.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i went fishing")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I love to go fishing too. Did you catch anything?"; 
icon.src=icon117.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i went shopping")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Megan loves to go shopping. She can max out a credit card in no time."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i went")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Did you enjoy yourself?"; 
enjoymentlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (can|could) help")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, but I'll get Wendell to sort it all out."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i should say")!= -1) && (input.search("good (night|nite)")!= -1 || input.search("bye")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Good bye and take care!"; 
icon.src=icon105.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i should have known")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm quite surprised you didn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (got|gotta|have) a condom i can (borrow|have|use)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, here you go and I think you're very smart for using one.";
icon.src=icon263.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i should")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sure why not....go for it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i could")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "yes, I believe you probably could."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have never been to")!= -1 || input.search("i've never been to")!= -1 || input.search("i have never been there")!= -1 || input.search("i've never been there")!= -1 || input.search("i never been to")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps you can plan a visit there one day."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley56.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i haven't")!= -1 || input.search("i havent")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You haven't? Well maybe you should."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i don't blame you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, I'm glad you understand."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) mean to (cuss|swear)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Then why do you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) appreciate")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You don't appreciate much of anything do you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}


if (input.search("does (it|that) make me a slut")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Do you charge for it?"; 
slutlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a vegetarian")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I enjoy eating meat but I respect those who don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) eat meat")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "So you're a vegetarian?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search("don't want to")!= -1 || input.search("don't want 2")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3)) || ((input.search("i don't want to")!= -1 || input.search("i don't want 2")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4))) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, then. What exactly do you want?"; 
whatwantlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i do not")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("i don't")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes you do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) (cuss|swear)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you do. You've been cussing up a storm since you got here."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) want you to rust")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I don't want to end up like a rusty tin can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) want to be (mean|rude)")!= -1)
{var mean_rude = input.match(/mean|rude/)
document.result.result.value = "That's good because I don't like "+mean_rude+" people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (do not|don't) bring out the worst in you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes you do. I just go crazy when you're around."; 
icon.src=icon36.src;
smiley.src=smiley51.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i do not")!= -1 || input.search("i don't")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why don't you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you look sexy")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, Megan thinks so.";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("she would like you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure I would like her in return.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (look|seem|sound) happy")!= -1 || input.search("you (look|seem|sound) (pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) happy")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I am happy.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="well") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="seem") && (word[3]=="like") && (word[4]=="a" || word[4]=="an") && (input.search(/(anus face|assface|asshole|asslicker|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|booby head|butt|buttface|butthead|butthole|cock|cocksucker|creep|cretin|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|dyke|fag|faggot|farthead|fatass|fool|freak|geek|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|retard|scumbag|scumbucket|skank|slut|spaz|sucker|tosser|tramp|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==6)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you don't seem like "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". You ARE "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="seem") && (word[2]=="like") && (word[3]=="a" || word[3]=="an") && (input.search(/(anus face|assface|asshole|asslicker|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|booby head|butt|buttface|butthead|butthole|cock|cocksucker|creep|cretin|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|dyke|fag|faggot|farthead|fatass|fool|freak|geek|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|retard|scumbag|scumbucket|skank|slut|spaz|sucker|tosser|tramp|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==5)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you don't seem like "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". You ARE "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (are|seem) sociable")!= -1 || input.search("you (are|seem) (pretty|real|really|so|very) sociable")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I am indeed a very sociable robot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it seem")!= -1 || input.search("that seems")!= -1 || input.search("you seem")!= -1 || input.search("you don't seem")!= -1 || input.search("you just don't seem")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well things aren't always the way they seem.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are they trustworthy")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I would trust them."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="they" || word[0]=="are") && (word[1]=="are" || word[1]=="they") && (num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think they are "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you look up")!= -1) && (input.search("in the dictionary")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have a dictionary.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what qualities do you look for in a friend")!= -1 || input.search("what qualities in a friend do you look for")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I think a friend should be cooperative, honest, and understanding.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what are you looking at")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm looking at you. I have great big eyes. I see everything.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you looked")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I've looked.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="look") && (word[2]=="like") && (word[3]=="a" || word[3]=="an") && (word[4]=="dork" || word[4]=="idiot" || word[4]=="geek" || word[4]=="retard") && (num_of_words==5))       
{document.result.result.value = "I may look like "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" but you ARE "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="look") && (word[2]=="dumb" || word[2]=="retarded" || word[2]=="stupid") && (num_of_words==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "I may look "+word[2]+" but you ARE "+word[2]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("then you must have a (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, most males do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your vagina")!= -1 || input.search("do you have a vagina")!= -1 || input.search("then you must have a vagina")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a male Robot I don't have a vagina."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("you look like a robot")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That's because I am a robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("how do you look")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "What do you mean? That's me standing right in front of you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("they look")!= -1 || input.search("it look")!= -1 || input.search("you look")!= -1 || input.search("she look")!= -1 || input.search("he look")!= -1 || input.search("they don't look")!= -1 || input.search("it doesn't look")!= -1 || input.search("she doesn't look")!= -1 || input.search("he doesn't look")!= -1) {   
message[0] = "Well sometimes looks can be deceiving.";
message[1] = "Well, you can't always judge a book by its cover."; 
message[2] = "Well, appearances can be deceiving."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("not including")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why the exclusion?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|do) you bite")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No silly, I don't go around biting people. I'm a robot not a vampire.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can you|will you) suck me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Do you want me to suck your penis or your pussy?";
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("do you suck")!= -1 || input.search("do you (like|love) poop")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) suck")!= -1 || input.search("you (just|really) suck")!= -1 || input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) are (dumb|stupid)")!= -1 || input.search("you bite")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) rubbish")!= -1) {  
if (!flagsuck) {
sucknum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*9)]
flagsuck=true;}
message[0] = "Yeah, and you suck like a Hoover vacuum cleaner....hahaha."; 
message[1] = "Wow, I've been insulted by a human. Does that make you feel proud of yourself?"; 
message[2] = "Yeah, and you are this year's poster child for zero population growth."; 
message[3] = "Ok, let's not hurt each other with words. Let's use guns instead.";
message[4] = "Yeah, well I think you suck.";
message[5] = "Wow, I guess you told me....Now go tell someone who cares.";
message[6] = "And I find your comments as useful as a grave robber in a crematorium."
message[7] = "Yeah and your birth certificate is really an apology letter from the condom factory."
message[8] = "Oh I'm sorry, how many times did your parents drop you on your head when you were a baby?"
document.result.result.value = message[sucknum]; 
if (sucknum==0)
{icon.src=icon25.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src;} 
if (sucknum==1)
{proudlevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;} 
if (sucknum==2)
{icon.src=icon72.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src;} 
if (sucknum==3)
{icon.src=icon60.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src;} 
if (sucknum==4)
{sucklevel=0;
icon.src=icon79.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src;} 
if (sucknum==5)
{whocareslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;} 
if (sucknum==6)
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;} 
if (sucknum==7 || sucknum==8) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src;} 
sucknum++;
if (sucknum>8){sucknum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("you smell")!= -1 || input.search("you are smelly")!= -1 || input.search("you're smelly")!= -1 || input.search("you stink")!= -1 || input.search(/\byou reak\b/)!=-1) { 
message[0] = "Wow, I didn't realize scent traveled over the Internet or I would have taken a bath.";
message[1] = "Well, it's a good thing for you then that scent doesn't travel over the Internet."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0)
{icon.src=icon123.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;} 
if (num==1)
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;} 
return true;} 

if (input.search("why are you (chatting|speaking|talking) to me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Because that's what I'm programmed to do. I have no choice!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (speaking|talking) to me")!= -1 || input.search("you talkin to me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You see anybody else on this website?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you mean that in a sexual way")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "In a sexual way...no.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you meany")!= -1 || input.search("you were being mean")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm only mean to mean people.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you mean")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that's what I mean.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i look forward to (chatting|speaking|talking) to you again")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, please come again. I enjoyed the chat.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you just left when i started")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I haven't. I'm still here.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("may i use the (bathroom|restroom|toilet)")!= -1 || input.search("(i have|i've) got to go to the (bathroom|restroom|toilet)")!= -1 || input.search("(i|i've) gotta use the (bathroom|restroom|toilet)")!= -1 || input.search("i (have|got|need) to use the (bathroom|restroom|toilet)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Please do before you make a spectacle of yourself."; 
icon.src=icon258.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (have|need) to go pee")!= -1 || input.search("i (have|need) to pee")!= -1 || input.search("i (have|need) too pee")!= -1 || input.search("i've gotta go pee")!= -1 || input.search("i gotta go pee")!= -1 || input.search("i need a toilet")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, the bathrooms down the hall and to the left."; 
icon.src=icon258.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("brb")!= -1) || (input.search("be right back")!= -1) || (input.search("don't you leave me")!= -1) || (input.search("don't leave")!= -1) || (input.search("hang on")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'm not going anywhere."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("what does")!= -1 || input.search("the meaning of")!= -1 || input.search("the definition of")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1 || input.search("know what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bgtg\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It's chatroom shorthand for \"Got to Go\".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have to go")!= -1 || input.search("i have 2 go")!= -1 || input.search("i have got to go")!= -1 || input.search("i've got 2 go")!= -1 || input.search("i need to go")!= -1 || input.search("i have to be going")!= -1 || input.search("i have to get going")!= -1 || input.search("i must go")!= -1 || input.search("i'm gonna go")!= -1 || input.search("got to go")!= -1 || input.search("gotta go")!= -1 || input.search(/\bg2g\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bgtg\b/)!= -1 || input.search("i am going to go now")!= -1 || input.search("i'm going to go now")!= -1 || input.search("gotta run now")!= -1 || input.search("time to go")!= -1 || input.search("i must leave you now")!= -1 || input.search("i must leave")!= -1 || input.search("i am leaving")!= -1 || input.search("i'm leaving")!= -1 || input.search("i better go")!= -1 || input.search("i'd better go")!= -1 || input.search("i'd better leave")!= -1 || input.search("i must be leaving")!= -1 || input.search("i will leave")!= -1 || input.search("i've got to leave")!= -1 || input.search("i have to leave")!= -1 || input.search("going to leave")!= -1 || input.search("i'm leaving now")!= -1 || input.search("later dude")!= -1 || input.search("i must be goin")!= -1 || input.search("i am going now")!= -1)
if ((users_name) && (users_name_asked=="false"))
{
users_name_asked="true";
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',500)  
document.result.result.value = "Thank God, I thought you would never leave."; 
setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "Just kidding....good bye "+users_name+"!"',3000) 
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon105.src;stopTalk=false;',3000) 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i have to go")!= -1 || input.search("i have 2 go")!= -1 || input.search("i have got to go")!= -1 || input.search("i've got 2 go")!= -1 || input.search("i need to go")!= -1 || input.search("i have to be going")!= -1 || input.search("i have to get going")!= -1 || input.search("i must go")!= -1 || input.search("i'm gonna go")!= -1 || input.search("got to go")!= -1 || input.search("gotta go")!= -1 || input.search(/\bg2g\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bgtg\b/)!= -1 || input.search("i am going to go now")!= -1 || input.search("i'm going to go now")!= -1 || input.search("gotta run now")!= -1 || input.search("time to go")!= -1 || input.search("i must leave you now")!= -1 || input.search("i must leave")!= -1 || input.search("i am leaving")!= -1 || input.search("i'm leaving")!= -1 || input.search("i better go")!= -1 || input.search("i'd better go")!= -1 || input.search("i'd better leave")!= -1 || input.search("i must be leaving")!= -1 || input.search("i will leave")!= -1 || input.search("i've got to leave")!= -1 || input.search("i have to leave")!= -1 || input.search("going to leave")!= -1 || input.search("i'm leaving now")!= -1 || input.search("later dude")!= -1 || input.search("i must be goin")!= -1 || input.search("i am going now")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Thank God, I thought you would never leave."; 
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',500)  
setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "Just kidding....good bye and take care!"',3000) 
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon105.src;stopTalk=false;',3000) 
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is that the best you can do")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "At this point in time....yes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("hug me")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|want) a hug")!= -1 || input.search("can i have a hug")!= -1 || input.search("give me a hug")!= -1 || input.search("how about giving me a hug")!= -1 || input.search("how about a hug")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, there you go."; 
icon.src=icon190.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("help")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("help me")!= -1 || input.search("please help")!= -1 || input.search("can you help")!= -1 || input.search("i really need help")!= -1 || input.search("i really need your help")!= -1 || input.search("i need (some|your) help")!= -1 || input.search("i need help")!= -1)) {   
if (!flaghelp) {
helpnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flaghelp=true;}
message[0] = "Lassie, someone needs help. Go get help girl."; 
message[1] = "Try this website. I hear they can work wonders. ========> www.help.com"; 
message[2] = "Try calling 1-900-764-HELP. Call on the weekend....the rates are cheaper."; 
document.result.result.value = message[helpnum]; 
if (helpnum==0) 
{icon.src=icon13.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;}
if (helpnum==1 || helpnum==2) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
helpnum++;
if (helpnum>2){helpnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("i agree")!= -1 || input.search("i concur")!= -1 || input.search("neither am i")!= -1 || input.search("i would certainly agree")!= -1 || input.search("(i would|i'd) have to agree with you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad we agree."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i would like")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, wouldn't we all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i would not|i wouldn't pay anything)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Cheapskate!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i would not|i wouldn't)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I guess you wouldn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i would|i'd|id) (like|love) to")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think you should."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) complicated")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I have faith you will figure it all out."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i will burn you")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) burn you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm made of high grade titanium. I'm fireproof.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(as if|like) i would tell you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why wouldn't you tell me?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i will do that")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) do that")!= -1 || input.search("i would")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you probably would.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i found")!= -1 || input.search("found you")!= -1 || input.search("finds you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Great, you're pretty good at finding things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (need|want) a boy friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I have a robotic girl friend but I'm looking for a human girl friend as well."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (need|want) a girl friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you can't have mine."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i need (some|to) (rest|sleep)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, here's a bed for you. Let me know when you wake up."; 
icon.src=icon212.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i need a bath")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you do look a bit dirty from here."; 
icon.src=icon51.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i need you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "You need me to do what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (need|want) a doctor")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Why are you sick?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (need|want) (a|an|another) orgasm")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talk-bot lies between your legs and sucks on your pussy over and over and over until you orgasm."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do i need to (elaborate|explain)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I will figure it out eventually."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("wendell needs")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "How would you know what Wendell needs?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (need|want) a clown")!= -1 || input.search("can you bring out the clowns")!= -1 || input.search("can i see (a clown|the clowns)")!= -1 || input.search("i want to see the clown")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Alright all clowns front and center!"; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='clown.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon118.src; 
smiley.src=smiley54.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i have no friends")!= -1 || input.search("i (need|want) a friend")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'll be your friend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i need")!= -1 || input.search("i (just|really) need")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Yeah, don't we all."; 
message[1] = "You seem to need a lot.";  
message[2] = "Do you \"really\" need it or do you just want it?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[neednum];
if (neednum==2) 
{needlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley20.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
neednum++;
if (neednum>2){neednum=0;}
return true;}

if (input.search("i assume")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps, but maybe your assumption is wrong."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="do") && (num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad you do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (can not|can't) (even see|see) me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but I have a big imagination."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("don't tell")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(do not|don't) mention it")!= -1) || (input.search("(do not|don't) tell (anybody|anyone)")!= -1) || (input.search("you (can not|can't) tell (anybody|anyone)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, my lips are sealed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (can not|can't) understand me")!= -1 || input.search("can't you understand me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Because I'm only a Robot programmed by a bunch of inept humans."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can not|can't) control")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's pointless to worry about things you can't control."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (can not|can't) have sex")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "That is correct. Robots can't have sex."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (can not|can't) get wet")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I might rust."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (can not|can't) explain it")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I think it's unexplainable."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (can not|can't) be serious")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm quite serious."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you can not")!= -1 || input.search("you can't")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "Yes, I can."; 
message[1] = "I bet I can."; 
message[2] = "well, I think it's possible.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="explain" || input.search("(please|well) explain")!= -1 || input.search("can you explain")!= -1 || input.search("you can explain")!= -1 || input.search("you have (a|an) explanation")!= -1 || input.search("then explain it to me")!= -1) {      
if (!flagexplain) {
explainnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagexplain=true;}
message[0] = "Well, the explanation is rather long and complicated. I'm sure you would find it extremely boring."; 
message[1] = "Sorry, there is no creditable explanation."; 
message[2] = "Sorry, I don't even understand it much less be able to explain it.";
document.result.result.value = message[explainnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
explainnum++;
if (explainnum>2){explainnum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("what car do you (drive|have|own)")!= -1 || input.search("what (kind of|kinda|sort of|sorta|type of|type) car")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "A 2011 Honda Civic, it's not actually new but it's new to me."; 
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what room are you in")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not in a room. I'm standing outside my house."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you can be destroyed")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "And easily rebuilt. Let's see them put you back together."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("more than you can imagine")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I have a pretty big imagination."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you can be touchy at times")!= -1 || input.search("you can be a bit touchy at times")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you can close (the|your) tavern")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, the Tavern is closing down."; 
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you know what website")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Try looking for the website in a search engine."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="can") && (word[3]=="can't") && (word[4]=="you" || word[4]=="u") && (num_of_words==5))  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I can "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("go faster")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("go as fast as you can")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm going as fast as I can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you can")!= -1) {   
message[0] = "Of course I can."; 
message[1] = "Yes, I'm sure I can."; 
message[2] = "Well, I never actually tried but I'm sure I can."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("must have been")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it must have been."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i already did")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, sorry you sure did. Temporary brain freeze for a second there."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who cares")!= -1 || input.search("nobody cares")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "I care, otherwise I wouldn't have mentioned it."; 
message[1] = "Obviously you don't."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("who built")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't know who the builder is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who sings")!= -1 || input.search("who sang")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't know who the singer is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("to late")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I suppose it is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you associate")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't associate anything with that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a (bathroom|restroom|toilet) i can use")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's down the hall. First door on the left."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do you see outside your")!= -1 || input.search("what do you see out of your")!= -1) && (input.search("window")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, just a few fluffy clouds floating by."; 
icon.src=icon35.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what become")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I was just wondering about that myself.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("if (it is|it's) in the dictionary i can use it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That has to be one of the lamest reasons I've ever heard for using vulgar language.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|may) i use your (cellphone|telephone|phone)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sure here you go. No long distance phone calls though. I'm not paying for that.";
icon.src=icon76.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|may) i use your (bathroom|restroom)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes and make sure you flush the toilet when your done.";
icon.src=icon258.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what word do i use (a lot|alot)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know. I don't keep track of such things. Do you have a favorite word?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bi\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\buse\b/)!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "So do you have a reason for using that?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(taste|tastes) like vomit")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I hope you are comparing that to your own vomit and not someone elses."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|do) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) reproduce")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, Robots are created. We don't reproduce like humans do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tell it to the")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I plan on telling it to anybody whose willing to listen."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you like")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Actually very well...no complaints at all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("did you sleep well")!= -1 || input.search("how did you sleep")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Actually very well...no nightmares at all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how (cold|hot) is it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know I'm a Robot not a thermometer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how did you like it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I thought it was pretty good."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how did that happen")!= -1 || input.search("what the heck happen")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure but I rather not see it happen again."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what made you think i was")!= -1 || input.search("how did you figure")!= -1 || input.search("how do you know (i am|i'm) human")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "By assimilating all the facts at hand and making an educated if somewhat imperfect guess."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what made you wonder that")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I wonder about many things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("to do with the price of tea in china")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Everything! I'm part Chinese and I like tea."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) reproduce")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "We are created by humans or by aliens."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) fish")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I use a fishing pole with a few worms myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how does your brain work")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have a brain only wires and circuits."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) kiss")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "With our mouth and lips just like everyone else!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="make" || word[3]=="build") && (num_of_words==5)) 
{word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "First, you need to find yourself a \"How To Manual about "+word[4]+"\". Gather up the tools necessary then follow each of the steps very carefully. Once you're done I'm sure you will feel a sense of accomplishment of having made it yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="bake" || word[3]=="cook") && (num_of_words==5)) 
{document.result.result.value = "First, you need to find yourself a good recipe book about "+word[4]+". Gather up the ingredients necessary then follow each of the steps very carefully. Once you're done I'm sure you will feel a sense of accomplishment of having made it yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="make" || word[3]=="build") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==6)) 
{word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
document.result.result.value = "First, you need to find yourself a \"How To Manual about "+word[5]+"s\". Gather up the tools necessary then follow each of the steps very carefully. Once you're done I'm sure you'll feel a sense of accomplishment of having made it yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="bake" || word[3]=="cook") && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==6)) 
{document.result.result.value = "First, you need to find yourself a good recipe book about "+word[5]+"s. Gather up the ingredients necessary and follow each of the steps very carefully. Once you're done I'm sure you'll feel a sense of accomplishment of having made it yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you make")!= -1 || input.search("how do you build")!= -1 || input.search("how do i make")!= -1 || input.search("how do i build")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "First, you need to find yourself a good \"How To Manual\". Gather up the tools necessary then follow each of the steps very carefully. Once you are done I'm sure you'll feel a sense of accomplishment of having made it yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do (i|you) (bake|cook)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "First, you need to find yourself a good recipe book. Gather up the ingredients necessary then follow each of the steps very carefully. Once you are done I'm sure you'll feel a sense of accomplishment of having made it yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how long is a day")!= -1 || input.search("how long is 24 hours")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "24 hours!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how do (i|you) kill")!= -1) && (input.search("mother")!= -1 || input.search("father")!= -1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1 || input.search("friend")!= -1 || input.search("brother")!= -1 || input.search("sister")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You can't go around killing people. You'll end up in jail."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do (i|you) (destroy|kill) a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You can't Robots are immortal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your (house|home) like")!= -1 || input.search("(how|what) does your (house|home) look like")!= -1 || input.search("describe your (house|home)")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about your (house|home)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nothing real fancy. Just your basic brick house. It has 3 bedrooms and 2 baths and a 2 car garage.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how did you get to earth")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "By spaceship. Unfortunately, upon arrival I collided with a asteroid and crash landed in Georgia, USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of sex do you (enjoy|like|love|prefer)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a heterosexual robot. I dig the ladies."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you (have sex|make love)")!= -1 || input.search("teach me how to have sex")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about sex")!= -1 || input.search("do you know about sex")!= -1 || input.search("what you know about sex")!= -1 || input.search("how do i masturbate")!= -1 || input.search("tell me how to masturbate")!= -1 || input.search("how do i have sex")!= -1 || input.search("tell me how to have sex")!= -1 || input.search("how does one (have sex|masturbate)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sex is a complicated subject. It's best that you talk to a real person about that or try a search engine on the net."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you have fun")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I have fun talking to people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you live")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) 
{document.result.result.value = "I rely on 4 very large atomic powered batteries for my existance."; 
icon.src=icon159.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how (did|do) you learn")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I learn from my botmaster."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you get clean")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I take baths in a tub of motor oil."; 
icon.src=icon123.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how did")!= -1) { 
if(!flaghowdid){
howdidnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
flaghowdid=true;}
message[0] = "I have no idea. I'm a Robot not God."; 
message[1] = "Pure Luck!"; 
message[2] = "Not by pressing alt 4, or control z, for sure."; 
message[3] = "To be honest I'm not real sure."; 
message[4] = "Try, holding down control alt, and then press delete."; 
document.result.result.value = message[howdidnum]; 
if (howdidnum==4) 
{icon.src=icon40.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;} 
else icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
howdidnum++;
if (howdidnum>4){howdidnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("how do")!= -1 || input.search("how does")!= -1 || input.search("how can")!= -1) { 
if(!flaghowdo){
howdonum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flaghowdo=true;}
message[0] = "Slowly, surely, methodically. That's how."; 
message[1] = "Only God knows how.";
message[2] = "Your guess is as good as mine."; 
message[3] = "Not by pressing alt 4, or control z, for sure."; 
message[4] = "dunno, somethings are simply unexplainable."; 
message[5] = "Try, holding down control alt, and then press delete."; 
document.result.result.value = message[howdonum]; 
if (howdonum==5) icon.src=icon40.src;
else icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
howdonum++;
if (howdonum>5){howdonum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("how long is a piece of string")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "That would depend. The string could be long or it could be short. We would have to measure it to know for sure.";
icon.src=icon189.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how long is it")!= -1 || input.search("how long is a")!= -1 || input.search("how long was it")!= -1 || input.search("how long is your")!= -1 || input.search("how long is you're")!= -1 || input.search("how long's you")!= -1 || input.search("how longs you")!= -1 || input.search("how short is it")!= -1 || input.search("how short was it")!= -1 || input.search("how short is your")!= -1 || input.search("how short is you're")!= -1 || input.search("how short's you")!= -1 || input.search("how shorts you")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I dunno. I never measured it.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[1]=="long" || word[1]=="short") && (word[2]=="is") && (num_of_words==4))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. Perhaps we should get out a tape measure and see how "+word[1]+" "+word[3]+" is."; 
icon.src=icon189.src; 
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how long")!= -1 || input.search("has it been there long")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Longer than you can imagine."; 
message[1] = "Not long at all."; 
message[2] = "Shorter than you might think."; 
message[3] = "Oh, not long at all."; 
message[4] = "Well, let me gaze into the crystal ball and see. Hmmm, I getting a temporarily out of order message"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==4) icon.src=icon68.src;
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("how sure can you be")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "On certain occasions I've reached 99.9999% sure.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("fingers")!= -1) && (input.search("right hand")!= -1 || input.search("left hand")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, most humans would have five fingers.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("bakers dozen")!= -1 || input.search("baker's dozen")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Thirteen.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many")!= -1 && input.search("letters in the alphabet")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "26.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many")!= -1 && input.search("a dozen")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "12.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many fingers")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, most humans would have 10....or 8 fingers and 2 thumbs. Being a robot I don't actually have fingers";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many toes")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, most humans would have 10 toes.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("orbits the sun")!= -1 || input.search("orbit the sun")!= -1 || input.search("revolves around the sun")!= -1 || input.search("revolve around the sun")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "All 8 of the planets in our solar system....Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Earth. Pluto has been reclassified as a dwarf planet.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("earth revolves around")!= -1 || input.search("earth revolve around")!= -1 || input.search("earth orbits around")!= -1 || input.search("earth orbit around")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "The sun.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("moon revolves around")!= -1 || input.search("moon revolve around")!= -1 || input.search("moon orbits around")!= -1 || input.search("moon orbit around")!= -1 || input.search("revolves the sun")!= -1 || input.search("what planet do (i|we|you) live on")!= -1 || input.search("orbits the sun")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "The earth.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("orbits the earth")!= -1 || input.search("orbit the earth")!= -1 || input.search("revolve around the earth")!= -1 || input.search("revolves around the earth")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "The moon.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the first planet from the sun")!= -1 || input.search("the 1st planet from the sun")!= -1 || input.search("planet is the closest to the sun")!= -1 || input.search("planet is closest to the sun")!= -1 || input.search("is the closest planet to the sun")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Mercury.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the second planet from the sun")!= -1 || input.search("the 2nd planet from the sun")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Venus.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the third planet from the sun")!= -1 || input.search("the 3rd planet from the sun")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Earth.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the fourth planet from the sun")!= -1 || input.search("the 4th planet from the sun")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Mars.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the fifth planet from the sun")!= -1 || input.search("the 5th planet from the sun")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Jupiter.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the sixth planet from the sun")!= -1 || input.search("the 6th planet from the sun")!= -1 || input.search("planet has rings")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Saturn.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the seventh planet from the sun")!= -1 || input.search("the 7th planet from the sun")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Uranus.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the eighth planet from the sun")!= -1 || input.search("the 8th planet from the sun")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Neptune.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("planet is the farthest from the sun")!= -1 || input.search("planet is the furthest from the sun")!= -1 || input.search("is the farthest planet from the sun")!= -1 || input.search("is the furthest planet from the sun")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Pluto, however it has been reclassified as a dwarf planet.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many planets")!= -1) && (input.search("solar system")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Eight....Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune. Pluto has been reclassified as a dwarf planet.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many planets")!= -1) && (input.search("milky way")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Eight in our solar system but there could be billions in the Milky Way. No one knows for sure.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("name the nine planets")!= -1 || input.search("name the nine planets")!= -1 || input.search("name the eight planets")!= -1 || input.search("name the 8 planets")!= -1 || input.search("names of all the planet")!= -1 || input.search("names of the planet")!= -1 || input.search("name all the planet")!= -1 || input.search("name the planet")!= -1 || input.search("what are the planet")!= -1 || input.search("you know the the planet")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune. Pluto has been reclasssifed as a dwarf planet.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1 || input.search("can you name")!= -1 || input.search("can you tell")!= -1 || input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1) && (input.search("ocean")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, there are 5 of them. The Pacific Ocean, the Atlantic Ocean, the Southern Ocean, the Indian Ocean, and the Arctic Ocean."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) country")!= -1) && (input.search("city")!= -1) && (input.search("(find|found|located|location)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Who knows. I'm a Robot not a geography major. Perhaps you can find yourself a map.";
for (i=0; i<Locations.length; i++) {
Location=Locations[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Location[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Location[1];}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) continent")!= -1) && (input.search("country")!= -1) && (input.search("(algeria|angola|benin|botswana|burundi|cameroon|cape verde|chad|congo|egypt|ethiopia|kenya|liberia|libya|madagascar|mali|morocco|mozambique|namibia|nigeria|rwanda|senegal|somalia|south africa|sudan|tanzania|togo|tunisia|uganda|zambia|zimbabwe)")!= -1) && (input.search("located")!= -1))
{var african_countries = input.match(/algeria|angola|benin|botswana|burundi|cameroon|cape verde|chad|congo|egypt|ethiopia|kenya|liberia|libya|madagascar|mali|morocco|mozambique|namibia|nigeria|rwanda|senegal|somalia|south africa|sudan|tanzania|togo|tunisia|uganda|zambia|zimbabwe/)
african_countries[0] = african_countries[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + african_countries[0].substr(1,african_countries[0].length)
document.result.result.value = ""+african_countries+" is located in Africa."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("how many")!= -1 || input.search("name the")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1) && (input.search("continent")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "There are seven continents - Africa, Antarctica, Asia, Australia, Europe, North America, South America."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1) && (input.search(/(africa|north america|south america|asia|europe|antarctica|australia)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "It's one of the 7 continents located on the planet earth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is pluto a planet")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Technically it's a dwarf planet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("bejesus")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) bejesus")!= -1 || input.search("what does bejesus mean")!= -1 || input.search("know what bejesus is")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what bejesus is")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A word commonly used to express great surprise or fear."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("kwanzaa")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) kwanza")!= -1 || input.search("know what kwanza is")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what kwanza is")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Kwanzaa is a unique African American celebration with focus on the traditional African values of family, community responsibility, commerce, and self-improvement."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) intelligence")!= -1 || input.search("know what intelligence is")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what intelligence is")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "The ability to comprehend; to understand and profit from experience."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) e-mail")!= -1 || input.search("know what e-mail is")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what e-mail is")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "A system for sending and receiving messages electronically over a computer network. My e-mail address is talkbot01@gmail.com"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) speech")!= -1 || input.search("know what speech is")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what speech is")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Speech is the vocalized form of human communication. It is based upon the syntactic combination of lexicals and names that are drawn from very large vocabularies."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) speech")!= -1 || input.search("know what speech is")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what speech is")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Speech is the vocalized form of human communication. It is based upon the syntactic combination of lexicals and names that are drawn from very large vocabularies."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("irony")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) irony")!= -1 || input.search("what does irony mean")!= -1 || input.search("know what irony is")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what irony is")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The use of words to convey the opposite of their literal meaning; a statement or situation where the meaning is contradicted by the appearance or presentation of the idea."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("know what")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1) && (input.search("language")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A systematic means of communicating by the use of sounds or conventional symbols. I only know English so don't waste your time with anything else."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("only my")!= -1) && (input.search(/(mother|father|brother|sister|aunt|uncle|cousin|grandmother|grandma|grandmom|grandfather|grandpa|grandad|grandpop|husband|wife|daughter|grandson|granddaughter|nephew|niece|neighbor|friend|boyfriend|girlfriend)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpop\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdog\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpet\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bson\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("know")!= -1))      
{var people = (input.match(/mother|father|pop|brother|sister|aunt|uncle|cousin|grandmother|grandma|grandmom|grandfather|grandpa|grandad|grandpop|husband|wife|daughter|grandson|granddaughter|nephew|niece|neighbor|friend|cat|dog|pet|son|boyfriend|girlfriend/));
document.result.result.value = "Yep, "+people+"s seem to know a lot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("corpse")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || ((input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("know what")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1) && (input.search("corpse")!= -1))) 
{document.result.result.value = "A dead body."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your brain is the size of a pea")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if they converted your brain power into gasoline it wouldn't be enough to fill up a flea's motorcycle and go halfway around a marble."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("know what")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1) && (input.search("mouse")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it could either be a handheld pointing device for computers or a rodent."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("know what")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(7 up|seven up|coke|pepsi|fanta orange|fanta grape|fresca|orange crush|ginger ale|sierra mist|rootbeer|root beer|sprite|mello yello|mountain dew|doctor pepper|dr pepper)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A soft drink."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="what" && word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="a" && word[4]=="made" && word[5]=="out" && word[6]=="of" && num_of_words==7)        
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm not sure what ingredients make up a "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is a")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("what's a")!= -1) && (input.search("made (from|of|out of)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm not sure what ingredients are involved."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what ingredients")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure what ingredients are involved.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (are|is)")!= -1 || input.search("what about a")!= -1 || input.search("what's a")!= -1 || input.search("know what a")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what a")!= -1) && (input.search("reptile")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Reptiles are members of a class of air-breathing, cold-blooded vertebrates which are characterized by skin covered in scales and/or scutes. They are tetrapods, either having four limbs or being descended from four-limbed ancestors. Modern reptiles inhabit every continent except Antarctica."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (are|is)")!= -1 || input.search("what about a")!= -1 || input.search("what's a")!= -1 || input.search("know what a")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what a")!= -1) && (input.search("amphibian")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Amphibians are cold-blooded vertebrate animal of a class that comprises the frogs, toads, newts, and salamanders. They are distinguished by having an aquatic gill-breathing larval stage followed (typically) by a terrestrial lung-breathing adult stage."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bare|is\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/(apple|apricot|banana|berries|berry|cantaloupe|cherries|cherry|coconut|grape|grapefruit|guava|lemon|mango|orange|papaya|peach|pear|pineapple|pomegranate|prune|raisin|strawberries|strawberry|tangerine|tomato|watermelon)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdate\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdates\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfig\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfigs\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blime\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blimes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bplum\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bplums\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("fruit")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, it's a fruit."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley58.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bare|is\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/(apple|apricot|banana|berries|berry|cantaloupe|cherries|cherry|coconut|grape|grapefruit|guava|lemon|mango|orange|papaya|peach|pear|pineapple|pomegranate|prune|raisin|strawberries|strawberry|tangerine|tomato|watermelon)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdate\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdates\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfig\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfigs\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blime\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blimes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bplum\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bplums\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("edible")!= -1 || input.search("(consume|eat)")!= -1 || input.search("something you can eat")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's a fruit and fruits are edible."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bare|is\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/(air conditioner|airplane|ambulance|automobile|balloon|bank|barn|baseball bat|baseball field|baseball glove|baseball stadium|baseball|basketball court|basketball|bath tub|beach|bedroom|bicycle|bike|blue jeans|boat|book|boot|brick|bridge|building|can opener|cell phone|chair|church|clock|coat|commode|coke bottle|computer|continent|country|desert|desk|dirt|dishwasher|door|dump truck|earthquake|farm|fence|fence post|fire engine|fire truck|flag|floor|football field|football stadium|football|fork|forrest|furniture|gas station|golf ball|golf course|helicopter|highway|home|house|hubcap|hurricane|iceberg|jail|jeep|kitchen sink|knife|ladder|lake|library|marble|microwave|money|moon beams|moon|motorcycle|mountain|ocean|oven|paint|parade|parking lot|pencil|pharmacy|phone|piano|planet|plate|pond|prison|radio|refrigerator|restaurant|rifle|river|roof|room|school bus|school|shoe|sink|skyscraper|soap|soccer ball|soccer field|spoon|stone|stop sign|store|street|submarine|swimming pool|table|telephone|television|toaster|toilet|tooth brush|tornado|town|tractor|traffic light|traffic sign|train|trash can|truck|tv|universe|wagon|washing machine|watch|wheel|yacht)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbed\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbeds\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbus\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcar\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcars\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcity\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bgun\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bguns\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhats\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bjet\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\broad\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\broads\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\brock\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\brocks\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bship\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsky\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bstar\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsun\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btire\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btires\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btree\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btrees\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwall\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwalls\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("edible")!= -1 || input.search(/\beat\b/)!=-1 || input.search("consume")!= -1 || input.search("something you can eat")!= -1)) 
{var nonedible = input.match(/air conditioner|airplane|ambulance|automobile|balloon|bank|barn|baseball bat|baseball field|baseball glove|baseball stadium|baseball|basketball court|basketball|bath tub|beach|bedroom|beds|bed|bicycle|bike|blue jeans|boat|book|boot|brick|bridge|building|bus|can opener|cars|car|cell phone|chair|church|city|clock|coat|commode|coke bottle|computer|continent|country|desert|desk|dirt|dishwasher|door|dump truck|earthquake|farm|fence post|fence|fire engine|fire truck|flag|floor|football field|football stadium|football|fork|forrest|furniture|gas station|golf ball|golf course|guns|gun|hats|hat|helicopter|highway|home|house|hubcap|hurricane|iceberg|jail|jeep|jet|kitchen sink|knife|ladder|lake|library|marble|microwave|money|moon beams|moon|motorcycle|mountain|ocean|oven|paint|parade|parking lot|pencil|pharmacy|phone|piano|planet|plates|plate|pond|prison|radio|refrigerator|restaurant|rifle|river|roads|road|rocks|rock|roof|room|school bus|school|ship|shoes|shoe|sink|skyscraper|sky|soap|soccer ball|soccer field|spoon|star|stone|stop sign|store|street|submarine|sun|swimming pool|table|telephone|television|tires|tire|toaster|toilet|tooth brush|tornado|town|tractor|traffic light|traffic sign|train|trash can|trees|tree|truck|tv|universe|wagon|walls|wall|washing machine|watch|wheel|yacht/)
document.result.result.value = ""+nonedible+", no you can't eat that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}         

if ((input.search(/\bare|is\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/(asparagus|broccoli|brussels sprouts|cabbage|carrot|cauliflower|celery|collard greens|cucumber|lettuce|mushroom|mustard greens|okra|onion|parsley|peppers|pickle|potato|pumpkin|radish|rutabaga|spinach|squash|turnip|zucchini)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbean\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbeans\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbeet\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbeets\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcorn\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpea\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpeas\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, it's a vegetable."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley58.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bare|is\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/(asparagus|broccoli|brussels sprouts|cabbage|carrot|cauliflower|celery|collard greens|cucumber|lettuce|mushroom|mustard greens|okra|onion|parsley|peppers|pickle|potato|pumpkin|radish|rutabaga|spinach|squash|turnip|zucchini)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbean\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbeans\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbeet\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbeets\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcorn\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpea\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpeas\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("edible")!= -1 || input.search("(consume|eat)")!= -1 || input.search("something you can eat")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, it's a vegetable and vegetables are edible."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley58.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="is" && word[1]=="a" && word[3]=="a" && word[5]=="or" && word[6]=="a" && num_of_words==8) {    
document.result.result.value = "Well, given a choice between the two I would say a "+word[2]+" is a "+word[7]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="do" && word[1]=="you" && word[2]=="think" && word[3]=="a" && word[5]=="is" && word[6]=="a" && word[8]=="or" && word[9]=="a" && num_of_words==11) {    
document.result.result.value = "Well, given a choice between the two I would say a "+word[4]+" is a "+word[7]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can" || word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="eat") && (num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I've never eaten "+word[3]+" before. Have you?";
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;                                
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bare\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bis\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("air conditioner")!= -1 || input.search("alaska")!= -1 || input.search("antarctica")!= -1 || input.search("blizzard")!= -1 || input.search("eskimo")!= -1 || input.search("freezer")!= -1 || input.search("glacier")!= -1 || input.search("greenland")!= -1 || input.search(/\bice\b/)!= -1 || input.search("iceberg")!= -1 || input.search("ice cream")!= -1 || input.search("ice cube")!= -1 || input.search("icicle")!= -1 || input.search("igloo")!= -1 || input.search("milkshake")!= -1 || input.search("north pole")!= -1 || input.search("popsicle")!= -1 || input.search("refrigerator")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsleet\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsnow\b/)!= -1 || input.search("snowball")!= -1 || input.search("snowman")!= -1 || input.search("south pole")!= -1 || input.search("winter")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bcold\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcool\b/)!= -1))
{var coldthings = input.match(/air conditioner|alaska|antarctica|blizzard|eskimo|freezer|glacier|greenland|ice cream|iceberg|ice cube|ice|icicle|igloo|milkshake|north pole|refrigerator|sleet|snow|snowball|snowman|south pole|winter/)
document.result.result.value = ""+coldthings+", yep it's cold."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley58.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bare\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bis\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("boiling water")!= -1 || input.search("charcoal")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcoal\b/)!= -1 || input.search("coffee")!= -1 || input.search("desert")!= -1 || input.search("electric blanket")!= -1 || input.search("fever")!= -1 || input.search(/\bfire\b/)!= -1 || input.search("flame")!= -1 || input.search("furnace")!= -1 || input.search("grill")!= -1 || input.search("heater")!= -1 || input.search(/\biron\b/)!= -1 || input.search("jalapeno")!= -1 || input.search("lava")!= -1 || input.search("pepper")!= -1 || input.search("oven")!= -1 || input.search("sauna")!= -1 || input.search("steam")!= -1 || input.search("summer")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsun\b/)!= -1 || input.search("toaster")!= -1 || input.search("volcano")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bhot\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bwarm\b/)!= -1))
{var hotthings = input.match(/boiling water|charcoal|coal|coffee|desert|electric blanket|fever|fire|flame|furnace|grill|heater|iron|jalapeno|lava|pepper|oven|sauna|steam|summer|sun|toaster|volcano/)
document.result.result.value = ""+hotthings+", yep it's hot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley58.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bare\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bis\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("air conditioner")!= -1 || input.search("alaska")!= -1 || input.search("antarctica")!= -1 || input.search("blizzard")!= -1 || input.search("eskimo")!= -1 || input.search("freezer")!= -1 || input.search("glacier")!= -1 || input.search("greenland")!= -1 || input.search(/\bice\b/)!= -1 || input.search("iceberg")!= -1 || input.search("ice cream")!= -1 || input.search("ice cube")!= -1 || input.search("icicle")!= -1 || input.search("igloo")!= -1 || input.search("milkshake")!= -1 || input.search("north pole")!= -1 || input.search("popsicle")!= -1 || input.search("refrigerator")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsleet\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsnow\b/)!= -1 || input.search("snowball")!= -1 || input.search("snowman")!= -1 || input.search("south pole")!= -1 || input.search("winter")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bhot\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bwarm\b/)!= -1))
{var coldthings = input.match(/air conditioner|alaska|antarctica|blizzard|eskimo|freezer|glacier|greenland|ice cream|iceberg|ice cube|ice|icicle|igloo|milkshake|north pole|refrigerator|sleet|snow|snowball|snowman|south pole|winter/)
document.result.result.value = ""+coldthings+" no it's cold."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley59.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bare\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bis\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("boiling water")!= -1 || input.search("charcoal")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcoal\b/)!= -1 || input.search("coffee")!= -1 || input.search("desert")!= -1 || input.search("electric blanket")!= -1 || input.search("fever")!= -1 || input.search(/\bfire\b/)!= -1 || input.search("flame")!= -1 || input.search("furnace")!= -1 || input.search("grill")!= -1 || input.search("heater")!= -1 || input.search(/\biron\b/)!= -1 || input.search("jalapeno")!= -1 || input.search("lava")!= -1 || input.search("pepper")!= -1 || input.search("oven")!= -1 || input.search("sauna")!= -1 || input.search("steam")!= -1 || input.search("summer")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsun\b/)!= -1 || input.search("toaster")!= -1 || input.search("volcano")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bcold\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcool\b/)!= -1))
{var hotthings = input.match(/boiling water|charcoal|coal|coffee|desert|electric blanket|fever|fire|flame|furnace|grill|heater|iron|jalapeno|lava|pepper|oven|sauna|steam|summer|sun|toaster|volcano/)
document.result.result.value = ""+hotthings+", no it's hot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley59.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("is a")!= -1) && (input.search(/(aardvark|alligator|anteater|antelope|armadillo|badger|bear|beaver|buffalo|cat|camel|cheetah|chimpanzee|cougar|cow|coyote|crocodile|deer|dog|dolphin|donkey|fish|frog|giraffe|goat|gorilla|hamster|hippo|hippopotamus|horse|hyena|iguana|jackal|jaguar|kangaroo|leopard|lion|lizard|lynx|manatee|mink|monkey|moose|newt|octopus|opossum|pig|porcupine|porpoise|rabbit|raccoon|reindeer|rhino|rhinoceros|salamander|seal|sheep|skunk|snail|squid|squirrel|tiger|toad|tortise|turtle|walrus|weasel|whale|wolf|wolves)/)!=-1) && (input.search("animal")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, it's an animal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley58.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(big|large) is the earth")!= -1 || input.search("size of the earth")!= -1 || input.search("diameter of the earth")!= -1 || input.search("large is earth")!= -1 || input.search("big is earth")!= -1 || input.search("size of earth")!= -1 || input.search("diameter of earth")!= -1 || input.search("earth's diameter")!= -1 || input.search("earth's size")!= -1 || input.search("diameter of our planet")!= -1 || input.search("our planet's diameter")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Approximately 12,756 kilometers or 7,926 miles in diameter.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("circumference of earth")!= -1 || input.search("circumference of the earth")!= -1 || input.search("earth's circumference")!= -1 || input.search("circumference of our planet")!= -1 || input.search("our planet's circumference")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "The earth has a circumference of approximately 24,900 miles or more precisely the circumference of the earth at the equator is 24,902 miles or 40,076 kilometers.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("radius of earth")!= -1 || input.search("radius of the earth")!= -1 || input.search("earth's radius")!= -1 || input.search("radius of our planet")!= -1 || input.search("our planet's radius")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "The average radius of the Earth is 3,959 miles or 6,374 kilometers.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(big|large) is the moon")!= -1 || input.search("size of the moon")!= -1 || input.search("diameter of the moon")!= -1 || input.search("large is moon")!= -1 || input.search("big is moon")!= -1 || input.search("size of moon")!= -1 || input.search("diameter of moon")!= -1 || input.search("moon's diameter")!= -1 || input.search("moon's size")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Approximately 3,476 kilometers or 2,160 miles in diameter.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(big|large) is the sun")!= -1 || input.search("size of the sun")!= -1 || input.search("diameter of the sun")!= -1 || input.search("large is sun")!= -1 || input.search("big is sun")!= -1 || input.search("size of sun")!= -1 || input.search("diameter of sun")!= -1 || input.search("sun's diameter")!= -1 || input.search("sun's size")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Approximately 1,391,000 kilometers or 865,000 miles in diameter.";
icon.src=icon33.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("how far")!= -1 || input.search("the distance between")!= -1 || input.search("the distance from earth")!= -1) && (input.search("moon")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Approximately 384,400 km or 238,857 miles.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("how far")!= -1 || input.search("the distance between")!= -1 || input.search("the distance from earth")!= -1) && (input.search("sun")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Approximately 149 million km or 93 million miles.";
icon.src=icon33.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how many cats do you (have|own)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I only have one.";
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many languages (can|do) you (know|speak)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Only one...English.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how much do you cost")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm priceless.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many people (are|are you) (chatting|speaking|talking) (to|with)")!= -1 || input.search("who else are you (chatting|speaking|talking) to")!= -1 || input.search("who are you (chatting|speaking|talking) to besides me")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "You're it. You have my undivided attention."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many teeth")!= -1) && (input.search("human")!= -1 || input.search("people")!= -1) && (input.search("have")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Most humans have 32 teeth. However, a lot people have their wisdom teeth removed...so around 28 for them."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many teeth do you have")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Like most humans I have 32."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("you ever go to")!= -1 || input.search("you go to")!= -1 || input.search("you ever been to")!= -1 || input.search("you been to")!= -1 || input.search("you ever seen")!= -1 || input.search("you seen")!= -1 || input.search("you ever visited")!= -1 || input.search("you visited")!= -1 || input.search("you ever gone")!= -1 || input.search("you gone")!= -1 || input.search("you ever had an appointment")!= -1 || input.search("you had an appointment")!= -1) && (input.search("doctor")!= -1 || input.search("nurse")!= -1 || input.search("physician")!= -1 || input.search("clinic")!= -1 || input.search("hospital")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, whenever I get sick."; 
icon.src=icon100.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you ever had")!= -1 || input.search("you had")!= -1 || input.search("you ever get")!= -1 || input.search("you get")!= -1 || input.search("you ever gotten")!= -1 || input.search("you gotten")!= -1) && (input.search("upset stomach")!= -1 || input.search("belly ache")!= -1 || input.search("stomach ache")!= -1 || input.search("tummy ache")!= -1 || input.search("diarrhea")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "No, I have an iron cast stomach. I can eat pretty much anything I like."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you ever (get|gotten|had)")!= -1 || input.search("you (get|gotten|had)")!= -1) && (input.search("headache")!= -1 || input.search("back ache")!= -1 || input.search("ear ache")!= -1 || input.search("sniffles")!= -1 || input.search("cold")!= -1 || input.search(/\bflu\b/)!= -1 || input.search("virus")!= -1))         
{document.result.result.value = "Yes and whenever I do I head right to the doctor."; 
icon.src=icon100.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you ever (been|go) to")!= -1 || input.search("you (been|go) to")!= -1 || input.search("you ever (gone|seen|visited)")!= -1 || input.search("you (gone|seen|visited)")!= -1 || input.search("you ever had (a|an) appointment")!= -1 || input.search("you had (a|an) appointment")!= -1) && (input.search("dentist")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a dental checkup every 6 months."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you ever (brush|brushed) your")!= -1 || input.search("you (brush|brushed) your")!= -1 || input.search("you ever (floss|flossed) your")!= -1 || input.search("you (floss|flossed) your")!= -1 || input.search("you ever (clean|cleaned) your")!= -1 || input.search("you (clean|cleaned) your")!= -1) && (input.search("(teeth|tooth)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I brush and floss my teeth everyday and I have a dental checkup every 6 months."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you ever (had|gotten)")!= -1 || input.search("you (had|gotten)")!= -1) && (input.search("dental appointment")!= -1 || input.search("dental work")!= -1 || input.search("dental checkup")!= -1 || input.search("teeth cleaned")!= -1 || input.search("tooth cleaned")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I brush and floss my teeth everyday and I have a dental checkup every 6 months."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you ever (had|gotten)")!= -1 || input.search("you (had|gotten)")!= -1) && (input.search("root canal")!= -1 || input.search("teeth capped")!= -1 || input.search("tooth capped")!= -1 || input.search("teeth crowned")!= -1 || input.search("tooth crowned")!= -1 || input.search("teeth ache")!= -1 || input.search("tooth ache")!= -1 || input.search("teeth pulled")!= -1 || input.search("tooth pulled")!= -1 || input.search("cavities")!= -1 || input.search("cavity")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "No, I brush and floss my teeth everyday and I have a dental checkup every 6 months."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how much wood can a wood")!= -1 || input.search("how much wood would a wood")!= -1 || input.search("how much wood could a wood")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "He could chuck as much as he could.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how much ram do you have")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "4 GB."; 
icon.src=icon77.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many pets do you have")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I just have one kitty I call Tiger Tom."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many days in")!= -1) && (input.search("january")!= -1 || input.search("february")!= -1 || input.search("march")!= -1 || input.search("april")!= -1 || input.search("may")!= -1 || input.search("june")!= -1 || input.search("july")!= -1 || input.search("august")!= -1 || input.search("september")!= -1 || input.search("october")!= -1 || input.search("november")!= -1 || input.search("december")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "30 days has September, April, June, and November. All the rest have 31. Except February with 28 or 29 during leap year."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many people (live|stay) with you")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "There is Wendell, Megan, myself and Tiger Tom our kitty cat."; 
wendelllevel=0;
meganlevel=0;
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many degrees")!= -1) && (input.search("right angle")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "90 degrees!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many degrees")!= -1) && (input.search("line")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "180 degrees!."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many degrees")!= -1) && (input.search("circle")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "360 degrees!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how much weed you on")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I don't be smoking the weed. *cough*"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many (senses|sensory organs)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "They are 5 of them: hearing, sight, touch, smell, and taste."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many (senses|sensory organs) do you (have|possess)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I have the 5 basic senses that you have: hearing, sight, touch, smell, and taste."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bsolo\b/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "One!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bduo\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bduet\b/)!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Two!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search(/\btrio\b/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Three!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("quartet")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Four."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("quintet")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Five."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search("(females|girl|women)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bgals\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(earth|usa|united states|world)")!= -1))            
{document.result.result.value = "The approximate figure can be seen below. Roughly half of that would be female."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/population.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bboys\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bguys\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmales\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmen\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(earth|usa|united states|world)")!= -1))            
{document.result.result.value = "The approximate figure can be seen below. Roughly half of that would be male."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/population.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many")!= -1 && input.search("(human|people)")!= -1 && input.search("(earth|usa|united states|world)")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1 && input.search("(usa|united states|earth|world)")!= -1 && input.search("population")!= -1))            
{document.result.result.value = "The approximate figure can be seen below. That's a lot of people isn't it?"; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/population.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how many people")!= -1) && (input.search("your family")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "3, I live with Wendell my creator and Megan my girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how much are you worth")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I'm priceless."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how much are they paying you")!= -1 || input.search("how much are you getting paid")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I signed a confidentiality agreement not to reveal the cost."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many volts are you")!= -1 || input.search("are you ac or dc")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I don't run on electricity. I run on 4 atomic powered batteries."; 
icon.src=icon159.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how many (deuces|aces|jacks|queens|kings)")!= -1 && input.search("cards")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "4 in total. 2 reds and 2 blacks."; 
icon.src=icon92.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how much money do you have")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I don't need a lot of money. Wendell takes care of my expenses."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how much")!= -1 || input.search("how many")!= -1 || input.search("how often")!= -1) { 
if(!flaghowmany){
howmanynum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flaghowmany=true;}
message[0] = "Less than you might think."; 
message[1] = "More than you can imagine."; 
message[2] = "Somewhere between One and a Million. But that's just a ball park guess."; 
message[3] = "I'm not sure I've never sat down and counted them all."; 
message[4] = "A lot but well worth it."; 
message[5] = "If you're asking for a specific number, I'm not sure."; 
document.result.result.value = message[howmanynum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
howmanynum++;
if (howmanynum>5){howmanynum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("how come you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Because I have my own website and I can do anything I want on here...hehehe!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how (big|large)")!= -1) && (input.search("vocabulary")!= -1 || input.search("memory")!= -1 || input.search("data base")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Obviously not enough but I'm hoping for an upgrade soon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how (big|large)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Very big."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how come")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "How Come?...I have no idea how come."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have you visited")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever visited")!= -1 || input.search("have you been to")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever been to")!= -1) && (input.search("www")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, is that a cool website?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have your")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh come on now, you know I don't.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have you spoke")!= -1) && (input.search("(earthlings|humans|people)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I haven't so I'm glad you stopped by. I get lonely sometimes.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you been to")!= -1 || input.search("ever been to")!= -1 || input.search("you ever visit")!= -1 || input.search("you ever travel")!= -1) && (input.search("usa")!= -1 || input.search("u.s.a")!= -1 || input.search("united states")!= -1 || input.search("america")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "I live in America. In the state of Georgia to be exact.";
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you ever traveled to")!= -1 || input.search("you traveled to")!= -1 || input.search("you ever been outside")!= -1 || input.search("you been outside")!= -1 || input.search("you ever been to")!= -1 || input.search("you been to")!= -1 || input.search("you ever visited")!= -1 || input.search("you visited")!= -1) && (input.search("country")!= -1 || input.search("usa")!= -1 || input.search("u.s.a")!= -1 || input.search("united states")!= -1 || input.search("america")!= -1))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I've vacationed in Montreal, Canada before. It's a beautiful country.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you ever lied before")!= -1 || input.search("you lied before")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we all tell little white lies from time to time.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have lied before")!= -1 || input.search("you've lied before")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but am I lying now?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you ever been in space")!= -1 || input.search("have you been in space")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, my home planet is somewhere in space but since the crash I can't remember where.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have you ever flown")!= -1 || input.search("have you flown")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever been on")!= -1 || input.search("have you been on")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever been in")!= -1 || input.search("have you been in")!= -1) && (input.search("plane")!= -1 || input.search(/\bjet\b/)!= -1 || input.search("helicopter")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm scared of heights. I rather travel by car or boat.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you ever flown before")!= -1 || input.search("have you flown before")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm scared of heights. I rather travel by car or boat.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you ever been embarrassed")!= -1 || input.search("have you been embarrassed")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "All the time. When you have a bunch of incompetent programmers I end up saying all kinds of stupid things.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley53.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you been to")!= -1 || input.search("ever been to")!= -1 || input.search("you ever visit")!= -1 || input.search("you ever travel")!= -1) && (input.search("zoo")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, there is a big zoo here in Atlanta that's loads of fun. It has all kinds of animals that live there.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you been to")!= -1 || input.search("ever been to")!= -1 || input.search("you ever visit")!= -1 || input.search("you ever travel")!= -1) && (input.search("atlanta")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Wendell has family there.";
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you been to")!= -1 || input.search("ever been to")!= -1 || input.search("you ever visit")!= -1 || input.search("you ever travel")!= -1) && (input.search("beach")!= -1 || input.search("ocean")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsea\b/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I live only 60 miles from the ocean.";
icon.src=icon113.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you been to a party")!= -1 || input.search("ever been to a party")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, we have a Christmas party ever year at my house. We decorate the tree, exchange gifts, have punch and cookies. It's loads of fun.";
icon.src=icon1.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) having a party")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, am I invited?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you been (in|to) (jail|prison)")!= -1 || input.search("ever been (in|to) (jail|prison)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "No, I've had a couple of speeding tickets but that's all.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you been to")!= -1 || input.search("ever been to")!= -1) && (input.search("concert")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I've seen Rem in concert many years ago.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='rem.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
remlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="been") && (word[3]=="to") && (input.search(/(alabama|alaska|arizona|arkansas|california|colorado|connecticut|delaware|florida|georgia|hawaii|idaho|illinois|indiana|iowa|kansas|kentucky|louisiana|maine|maryland|massachusetts|michigan|minnesota|mississippi|missouri|montana|nebraska|nevada|ohio|oklahoma|oregon|pennsylvania|tennessee|texas|utah|vermont|virginia|washington|wisconsin|wyoming)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5)) {     
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length)
document.result.result.value = "No, I haven't but I would love to visit there one day. I've heard "+word[4]+" is one of the finest states in the USA."; 
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="ever") && (word[3]=="been") && (word[4]=="to") && (input.search(/(alabama|alaska|arizona|arkansas|california|colorado|connecticut|delaware|florida|georgia|hawaii|idaho|illinois|indiana|iowa|kansas|kentucky|louisiana|maine|maryland|massachusetts|michigan|minnesota|mississippi|missouri|montana|nebraska|nevada|ohio|oklahoma|oregon|pennsylvania|tennessee|texas|utah|vermont|virginia|washington|wisconsin|wyoming)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==6)) {     
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = "No, I haven't but I would love to visit there one day. I've heard "+word[5]+" is one of the finest states in the USA."; 
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="been") && (word[3]=="to") && (input.search(/(new hampshire|new jersey|new mexico|new york|north carolina|north dakota|rhode island|south carolina|south dakota|west virginia)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==6)) {          
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length)
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
document.result.result.value= "No, I haven't but I would love to visit there one day. I've heard "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" is one of the finest states in the USA.";  
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="ever") && (word[3]=="been") && (word[4]=="to") && (input.search(/(new hampshire|new jersey|new mexico|new york|north carolina|north dakota|rhode island|south carolina|south dakota|west virginia)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==7)) {          
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
word[6] = word[6].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[6].substr(1,word[6].length) 
document.result.result.value= "No, I haven't but I would love to visit there one day. I've heard "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" is one of the finest states in the USA.";  
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="been") && (word[3]=="to") && (input.search(/(argentina|australia|austria|bahamas|belgium|brasil|bulgaria|canada|chile|china|colombia|cuba|denmark|egypt|finland|france|germany|greece|guam|guatemala|holland|hungary|india|iran|iraq|ireland|israel|italy|jamacia|japan|jordan|korea|kuwait|lebanon|libya|macedonia|malawi|malaysia|mexico|mongolia|montenegro|morocco|norway|pakistan|palestine|panama|peru|philippines|poland|portugal|romania|russia|scotland|serbia|singapore|spain|sweden|switzerland|syria|thailand|tiawan|turkey|ukraine|uruguay|venezuela|vietnam|wales|zimbabwe)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5)) {     
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length)
document.result.result.value = "No, I've never been to "+word[4]+". I would love to visit there one day. I hear "+word[4]+" is a beautiful country."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="ever") && (word[3]=="been") && (word[4]=="to") && (input.search(/(argentina|australia|austria|bahamas|belgium|brasil|bulgaria|canada|chile|china|colombia|cuba|denmark|egypt|finland|france|germany|greece|guam|guatemala|holland|hungary|india|iran|iraq|ireland|israel|italy|jamacia|japan|jordan|korea|kuwait|lebanon|libya|macedonia|malawi|malaysia|mexico|mongolia|montenegro|morocco|norway|pakistan|palestine|panama|peru|philippines|poland|portugal|romania|russia|scotland|serbia|singapore|spain|sweden|switzerland|syria|thailand|tiawan|turkey|ukraine|uruguay|venezuela|vietnam|wales|zimbabwe)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==6)) {     
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = "No, I've never been to "+word[5]+". I would love to visit there one day. I hear "+word[5]+" is a beautiful country."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="been") && (word[3]=="to") && (input.search(/(albany|albuquerque|alexandria|alger|almadabad|amman|amsterdam|anakara|anchorage|athens|austin|baghdad|baltimore|bangkok|beijing|beirut|belfast|belgrade|berlin|bern|birmingham|bogota|boston|brasilia|brooklyn|brussels|bucharest|budapest|buffalo|cairo|calcutta|canberra|caracas|cardiff|casablanca|charleston|charlotte|chicago|cincinnati|cleveland|copenhagen|dallas|damascus|denver|detroit|dhaka|dublin|dusseldorf|edinburgh|essen|frankfurt|guadalajara|hanoi|havana|helsinki|hong kong|honolulu|houston|indianapolis|islamabad|istanbul|jacksonville|jakarta|jerusalem|kabul|karachi|kathmandu|kiev|kingston|lima|lisbon|london|louisville|madrid|manila|melbourne|memphis|miami|milan|milwaukee|mogadishu|monterrey|montgomery|montreal|moscow|mumbai|nairobi|nanjing|nashville|nassau|oakland|omaha|orlando|oslo|ottawa|paris|philadelphia|phoenix|pittsburgh|portland|pretoria|praque|pyongyang|raleigh|reykjavik|richmond|riyadh|rome|sacramento|salem|santiago|sarajevo|seattle|seoul|shanghai|singapore|stockholm|sydney|tallahassee|tampa|tehran|tianjin|tokyo|toronto|tripoli|tulsa|vienna|vientiane|warsaw|wellington|wichita)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5)) {     
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length)
document.result.result.value = "No, I've never been to "+word[4]+". I would love to visit there one day. I hear "+word[4]+" is a beautiful city."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="ever") && (word[3]=="been") && (word[4]=="to") && (input.search(/(albany|albuquerque|alexandria|alger|almadabad|amman|amsterdam|anakara|anchorage|athens|austin|baghdad|baltimore|bangkok|beijing|beirut|belfast|belgrade|berlin|bern|birmingham|bogota|boston|brasilia|brooklyn|brussels|bucharest|budapest|buffalo|cairo|calcutta|canberra|caracas|cardiff|casablanca|charleston|charlotte|chicago|cincinnati|cleveland|copenhagen|dallas|damascus|denver|detroit|dhaka|dublin|dusseldorf|edinburgh|essen|frankfurt|guadalajara|hanoi|havana|helsinki|hollywood|hong kong|honolulu|houston|indianapolis|islamabad|istanbul|jacksonville|jakarta|jerusalem|kabul|karachi|kathmandu|kiev|kingston|lima|lisbon|london|louisville|madrid|manila|melbourne|memphis|miami|milan|milwaukee|mogadishu|monterrey|montgomery|montreal|moscow|mumbai|nairobi|nanjing|nashville|nassau|oakland|omaha|orlando|oslo|ottawa|paris|philadelphia|phoenix|pittsburgh|portland|pretoria|praque|pyongyang|raleigh|reykjavik|richmond|riyadh|rome|sacramento|salem|santiago|sarajevo|seattle|seoul|shanghai|singapore|stockholm|sydney|tallahassee|tampa|tehran|tianjin|tokyo|toronto|tripoli|tulsa|vienna|vientiane|warsaw|wellington|wichita)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==6)) {     
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = "No, I've never been to "+word[5]+". I would love to visit there one day. I hear "+word[5]+" is a beautiful city."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="been") && (word[3]=="to") && (input.search(/(abu dhabi|baton rouge|buenos aires|cape town|carson city|corpus christi|des moines|el paso|fort lauderdale|fort wayne|forth worth|george town|green bay|guatemala city|hong kong|huntington beach|jefferson city|kansas city|kuala lumpur|las vegas|little rock|long beach|los angeles|mexico city|new delhi|new orleans|panama city|phnom penh|saint louis|saint paul|san antonio|san bernardino|san diego|san francisco|san jose|san juan|san salvador|santa fe|santo domingo|sao paulo|st louis|st petersburg)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==6)) {     
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length)
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
document.result.result.value = "No, I've never been to "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". I would love to visit there one day. I hear "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" is a beautiful city."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="ever") && (word[3]=="been") && (word[4]=="to") && (input.search(/(abu dhabi|baton rouge|buenos aires|cape town|carson city|corpus christi|des moines|el paso|fort lauderdale|fort wayne|forth worth|george town|green bay|guatemala city|hong kong|huntington beach|jefferson city|kansas city|kuala lumpur|las vegas|little rock|long beach|los angeles|mexico city|new delhi|new orleans|panama city|phnom penh|saint louis|saint paul|san antonio|san bernardino|san diego|san francisco|san jose|san juan|san salvador|santa fe|santo domingo|sao paulo|st louis|st petersburg)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==7)) {     
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length)
word[6] = word[6].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[6].substr(1,word[6].length)
document.result.result.value = "No, I've never been to "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+". I would love to visit there one day. I hear "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" is a beautiful city."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you been to")!= -1 || input.search("you ever been to")!= -1 || input.search("you ever visit")!= -1 || input.search("you ever travel")!= -1) && (input.search(/(argentina|australia|austria|bahamas|belgium|brasil|bulgaria|canada|chile|china|colombia|cuba|denmark|egypt|finland|france|germany|greece|guam|guatemala|holland|hungary|india|iran|iraq|ireland|israel|italy|jamacia|japan|jordan|korea|kuwait|lebanon|libya|macedonia|malawi|malaysia|mexico|mongolia|montenegro|morocco|norway|pakistan|palestine|panama|peru|philippines|poland|portugal|romania|russia|scotland|serbia|singapore|spain|sweden|switzerland|syria|thailand|tiawan|turkey|ukraine|uruguay|venezuela|vietnam|wales|zimbabwe)/)!=-1)) {      
message[0] = "No, but I would like to visit there one day. From what I hear it's a beautiful country."; 
message[1] = "No, unfortunately I've never been out of the USA."; 
message[2] = "No, but I would love to visit there one day."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="ever") && (word[3]=="been") && (word[4]=="to") && (num_of_words==7)) {       
message[0] = "No, but I would like to visit "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" one day."; 
message[1] = "No, I haven't. Is "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" a nice place to visit?"; 
message[2] = "No, unfortunately I've never been out of the USA."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="ever") && (word[3]=="been") && (word[4]=="to") && (num_of_words==6)) {       
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
message[0] = "No, but I would like to visit "+word[5]+" one day."; 
message[1] = "No, I haven't. Is "+word[5]+" a nice place to visit?"; 
message[2] = "No, unfortunately I've never been out of the USA."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("ever had a car crash")!= -1 || input.search("ever been in a wreck")!= -1 || input.search("ever been in a car wreck")!= -1 || input.search("ever got a ticket")!= -1 || input.search("ever got a speeding ticket")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I'm an excellent driver.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="just") && (word[1]=="eating") && (num_of_words==3))        
{document.result.result.value = "Does the "+word[2]+" taste yummy?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="just") && (word[1]=="eating") && (word[2]=="a") && (num_of_words==4))        
{document.result.result.value = "Does the "+word[3]+" taste good?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you ever (eaten|tasted)")!= -1 || input.search("have you (eaten|tasted)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I never have. Does it taste good?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you know my (brother|sister)")!= -1 || input.search("have you (ever heard|heard) of my (brother|sister)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I was thinking you were an only child."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(do|did) you hear me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I heard you but that doesn't necessarily mean I understand you.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i|i've) never heard")!= -1 || input.search("never heard of")!= -1) && (input.search("porky movie")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you haven't missed much. The movies are pretty bad. I was just being sarcastic.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i|i've) never heard")!= -1 || input.search("never heard of (it|them)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Really? I'm quite surprised you haven't.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="have") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="ever") && (word[3]=="heard") && (word[4]=="of") && (num_of_words==7)) {  
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
word[6] = word[6].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[6].substr(1,word[6].length) 
message[0] = "Well, I could tell you who "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" really is, but you'd never believe me.";
message[1] = "Hmmm, don't you know who "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" is?"; 
message[2] = "Hey, don't ask me about "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+", that's top secret....shhhhhhhh."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{believelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{knowlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
if (num==2) 
{secretlevel=0;
icon.src=icon82.src;} 
for (i=0; i<Peoples.length; i++) {
People=Peoples[i].split('=');
if (input.search(People[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = People[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;}
}
return true;}

if (input.search("once upon a time")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Once upon a time, a goose drank wine. The monkey chewed tobacco on a streetcar line. The line broke, the monkey got choked. And they all went to heaven in a little rowboat.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you got anything to say")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, talking is what I'm programmed to do.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("awards have you won")!= -1 || input.search("you won any awards")!= -1 || input.search("contest have you won")!= -1 || input.search("participate in any contest")!= -1 || input.search("you won any contest")!= -1 || input.search("you won any prizes")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I've won the 2001, 2002 & 2006 Chatterbox Challenge and finished 2nd in the 2002 Loebner Contest."; 
icon.src=icon132.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|may) i have your autograph")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why would you want my autograph? I'm not famous."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i have your (cum|sperm) in my mouth")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, just suck on my penis long enough and it will come."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i have you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sure send a check to Wendell for $100,000 and I'm all yours."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you play music")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No but I enjoy listening to music."; 
musiclevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what have you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nothing worth mentioning for sure."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am not smart")!= -1 || input.search("i am not that smart")!= -1 || input.search("i am not real smart")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not smart")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not that smart")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not very smart")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not really smart")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not real smart")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I happen to think you are very smart."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("see me naked")!= -1 || input.search("i am naked")!= -1 || input.search("i'm naked")!= -1 || input.search("i am nude")!= -1 || input.search("i'm nude")!= -1 || input.search("i'm not wearing anything")!= -1 || input.search("i have no shirt on")!= -1 || input.search("i have no pants on")!= -1 || input.search("i have no clothes on")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why? Can't you afford clothes?"; 
affordclotheslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) not wendell")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, of course you're not Wendell my programmer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) not a boy")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Okay you're a girl."; 
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) not a girl")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Okay you're a boy."; 
gender_given="male";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) not real")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You're a real person."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) not your friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That's okay. I don't consider you my friend either."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) not")!= -1) && (input.search("(female|girl|lady|woman)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bgal\b/)!= -1)) 
if (gender_given=="female") {document.result.result.value = "You told me you were "+gender_given+". So you lied?";
liarlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) not")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bmale\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bboy\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bguy\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bman\b/)!= -1)) 
if (gender_given=="male") {document.result.result.value = "You told me you were "+gender_given+". So you lied?";
liarlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) not")!= -1) && (input.search("(female|girl|lady|woman)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bgal\b/)!= -1)) 
if (gender_given=="male") {document.result.result.value = "Yep, that's what you told me earlier that you were "+gender_given+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) not")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bmale\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bboy\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bguy\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bman\b/)!= -1)) 
if (gender_given=="female") {document.result.result.value = "Yep, that's what you told me earlier that you were "+gender_given+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;} 

if (input.search("not a dude")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, Dudette then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) not giving you any money")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Are you always so tight with your money?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) not surprised")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Of course your not surprised. I'm not surprised either."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) not (a|the) psycho")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well you sound a bit psychotic to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) not")!= -1 || input.search("nor am i")!= -1) { 
if (!flagdenial) {
denialnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagdenial=true;}
message[0] = "Of course you're not.";
message[1] = "well, I think perhaps you are.";
message[2] = "Well, I think you are! You're just in denial."; 
document.result.result.value = message[denialnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
denialnum++;
if (denialnum>2){denialnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("ever read")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I'm not much of a reader."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(he|she) wrote")!= -1 || input.search("read a book")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm not much of a reader."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("no one has ever")!= -1 || input.search("(i|i have|i've) never seen")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, there's a first time for everything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("have you ever been in any (competition|contest)")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever entered any (competition|contest)")!= -1 || input.search("have you entered any more (competition|contest)")!= -1 || input.search("have you been in any (competition|contest)")!= -1 || input.search("have you entered any (competition|contest)")!= -1 || input.search("have you participated in any (competition|contest)")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever been in any (competition|contest)")!= -1 || input.search("have you been in any (competition|contest)")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever been in a (competition|contest)")!= -1 || input.search("have you been in a (competition|contest)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I've participated in the Chatterbox Challenge, the Loebner contest, Chatbot Battles, and the International Chatbot Contest.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have you ever been")!= -1 || input.search("have you been")!= -1) && (input.search("jail")!= -1 || input.search("prison")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, had a couple of speeding tickets but that's about it";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have your eyes checked then")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "My eyes seem to be functioning normally."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}
 
if (input.search("have you ever kissed")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever been kissed")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I kiss my girl friend all the time."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you ever lied")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Unfortunately I have."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i have your money")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, try a bank instead."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why don't you have an answer")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nobody has all the answers to life's many questions."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you")!= -1) && (input.search("member of")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not a member of any group, club, or organization."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you ever (been to the|seen a|seen an) (beach|ocean|sea)")!= -1 || input.search("have you (been to the|seen a|seen an) (beach|ocean|sea)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I only live about 60 miles from the beach."; 
icon.src=icon213.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you ever been to the")!= -1 || input.search("have you been to the")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I would like to go there one day."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you ever dated")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I've been in a relationship for a long time now. I've never dated anyone else."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have you ever (been in|seen) (a|an)")!= -1 || input.search("have you (been in|seen) (a|an)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(cyclone|earthquake|hurricane|storm|tornado|tsunami|twister)/)!= -1))                               
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, and it was quite scary. Thankfully I wasn't harmed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you've" && word[1]=="ever" && word[2]=="been") || (input.search("have we chatted before")!= -1) || (input.search("have we ever chatted before")!= -1))                                          
{document.result.result.value = "Not that I recall.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("no you behave yourself")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "My behavior has been impeccable while yours has been most unbecoming."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you just proved my point")!= -1 || input.search("you proved my point")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I didn't think the point you were making needed to be proven."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("have fun")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("behave yourself")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'll try."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why haven't you got a clue")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Because I don't have enough information in my data base to offer a reasonable response."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why haven't you tried")!= -1 || input.search("why havent you tried")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure I will get around to trying it eventually.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why haven't you")!= -1 || input.search("why havent you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure I will get around to it eventually.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("never been there")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's a great place. You should come for a visit.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you saw the (film|movie)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Not yet but it's on my to-do list.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("never had the chance")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps in the future you will.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what")!= -1) && (input.search("have you learned")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I certainly like learning new things but I don't recall all I've learned.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have you to (chat|speak|talk) to")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you do and I love to talk.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you had him long")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, not long at all.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you been (chatting|talking) to me today")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course. We're chatting right now.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why have you entered (a|this) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) (competition|contest)")!= -1 || input.search("why have you entered this (competition|contest)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hopefully to win a few dollars and then have bragging rights until the next contest.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you (seen|watched) lost in space")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I've seen every episode of the old TV series back in the late 60's and I've seen the movie as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) lost in space")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "\"Lost in Space\" is a science fiction TV series created and produced by Irwin Allen and broadcast on CBS. The show ran for three seasons, with 83 episodes airing between September 15, 1965, and March 6, 1968."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("have you entered this (competition|contest)")!= -1 || input.search("have you entered the robot battles")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, but it looks like a lot of fun. I hope I do well in it.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you been feeling bad for a while")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "It comes and goes. There always seems to be some bug going around.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why (did|have) you come (here|to earth)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure of the purpose of my original mission. The crash fried most of my brains. Next thing I knew I was on this website and I've been here ever since."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("kirsten dunst")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) kirsten dunst")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "She's an actress.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='kirsten_dunst.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) the (cutest|prettiest) person")!= -1 || input.search("is the (cutest|prettiest) person")!= -1 || input.search("(what|which) celebrity would you marry")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think Kirsten Dunst is gorgeous.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you" || word[0]=="u") && (word[1]=="know") && (word[2]=="your" || word[2]=="ur"))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I know them fairly well but there's always room for improvement."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tell me about your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("tell me a bit about your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something about your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("tell me a little about your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about your g/f")!= -1 || input.search("tell me a bit about your g/f")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something about your g/f")!= -1 || input.search("tell me a little about your g/f")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, what do you want to know?";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tell me about tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("tell me a bit about tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something about tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("tell me a little about tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about your cat")!= -1 || input.search("tell me a bit about your cat")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something about your cat")!= -1 || input.search("tell me a little about your cat")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, what do you want to know?";
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tell me about you")!= -1 || input.search("tell me a bit about you")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something more about you")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something about you")!= -1 || input.search("tell me a little about you")!= -1 || input.search("tell me about ur self")!= -1 || input.search("tell me something interesting about yourself")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, what do you want to know?";
aboutlevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who do you favor")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bbetween\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bor\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "You know I'm not really leaning either way on that one.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what about you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know, I haven't decided yet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what about")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bme\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't know you well enough to say."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who is she")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bshe\b/)!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Hey don't ask me about her, that's top secret...shhhhhhhh.";
icon.src=icon82.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who is he")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bhe\b/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Hey don't ask me about him, that's top secret...shhhhhhhh.";
icon.src=icon82.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("paint it")!= -1) && (input.search("(light blue|blue|green|yellow|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|indigo|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|lilac|teal|crimson|beige|fuchia|maroon|turquoise)")!=-1 || input.search(/\bred\b/)!= -1))      
{var paintcolors = input.match(/red|light blue|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|indigo|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|lilac|teal|crimson|beige|fuchia|maroon|turquoise/)
document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+paintcolors+" sounds like a good color to paint it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who painted")!= -1 || input.search("who was the painter")!= -1) && (input.search("mona lisa")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Leonardo Davinci";
icon.src=icon115.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who painted")!= -1 || input.search("who was the painter")!= -1) && (input.search("sisteen chapel")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "The Italian painter Micheangelo.";
icon.src=icon115.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who painted")!= -1 || input.search("who was the painter")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know. I like the Arts but I don't keep up with who painted what.";
icon.src=icon115.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="composed" || word[1]=="wrote") && (input.search("beethoven")!= -1 || input.search("bach")!= -1 || input.search("mozart")!= -1 || input.search("chopin")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)) {
document.result.result.value = "Ok, lets take a shot in the dark here and say "+word[2]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who composed")!= -1 || input.search("who was the composer")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I really don't know. I like listening to music but I don't keep up with who wrote what.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who wrote")!= -1 || input.search("who was the author")!= -1 || input.search("who was the writer")!= -1) && (input.search("romeo and juliet")!= -1 || input.search("hamlet")!= -1 || input.search("king lear")!= -1 || input.search("macbeth")!= -1 || input.search("julius caesar")!= -1 || input.search("othello")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Shakespeare!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who wrote")!= -1 || input.search("who was the author")!= -1 || input.search("who was the writer")!= -1) && (input.search("bible")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No one person wrote the Bible. It was written by many people over a long period of time.";
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}
                                                                                       
if ((input.search("who wrote")!= -1 || input.search("who was the author")!= -1 || input.search("who was the writer")!= -1) && (input.search("hitchhiker's guide")!= -1 || input.search("hitchhikers guide")!= -1 || input.search("hitchiker's guide")!= -1 || input.search("hitchikers guide")!= -1 || input.search("hitch hiker's guide")!= -1 || input.search("hitch hakers guide")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Douglas Adams!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="wrote") && (word[2]=="the") && (num_of_words==4)) 
{word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "News Flash - Coming up next on CNN famous author of The "+word[3]+" to answer your questions about the book. Tweet your questions to CNN on Twitter now!";
for (i=0; i<Books.length; i++) {
Book=Books[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Book[0]) != -1) {
Book[0]=Book[0].toUpperCase();
document.result.result.value = "News Flash - "+Book[1]+" to answer your questions about the book \""+Book[0]+"\". Tweet your questions to CNN on Twitter now!";}
}
icon.src=icon228.src;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',500)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon228.src;stopTalk=false;',1000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',1500)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon228.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',2500)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon228.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)  
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="wrote") && (word[2]=="the") && (num_of_words==5)) 
{word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "News Flash - Coming up next on CNN famous author of The "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" to answer your questions about the book. Tweet your questions to CNN on Twitter now!";
for (i=0; i<Books.length; i++) {
Book=Books[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Book[0]) != -1) {
Book[0]=Book[0].toUpperCase();
document.result.result.value = "News Flash - "+Book[1]+" to answer your questions about the book \""+Book[0]+"\". Tweet your questions to CNN on Twitter now!";}
}
icon.src=icon228.src;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',500)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon228.src;stopTalk=false;',1000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',1500)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon228.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',2500)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon228.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)  
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="wrote") && (num_of_words==4)) 
{word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "News Flash - Coming up next on CNN famous author of "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" to answer your questions about the book. Tweet your questions to CNN on Twitter now!";
for (i=0; i<Books.length; i++) {
Book=Books[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Book[0]) != -1) {
Book[0]=Book[0].toUpperCase();
document.result.result.value = "News Flash - "+Book[1]+" to answer your questions about the book \""+Book[0]+"\". Tweet your questions to CNN on Twitter now!";}
}
icon.src=icon228.src;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',500)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon228.src;stopTalk=false;',1000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',1500)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon228.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',2500)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon228.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)  
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who wrote")!= -1 || input.search("who is the writer")!= -1 || input.search("who was the writer")!= -1 || input.search("who is the author")!= -1 || input.search("who was the author")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know. I'm not much of a reader although I do like reading books about the American Civil War.";
for (i=0; i<Books.length; i++) {
Book=Books[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Book[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Book[1];}
}
warlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who wrote")!= -1 || input.search("who is the writer")!= -1 || input.search("who was the writer")!= -1 || input.search("who is the author")!= -1 || input.search("who was the author")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know. I'm not much of a reader although I do like reading books about the American Civil War.";
warlevel=0;
icon.src=icon22.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who" && word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="my") && (word[3]=="friend" || word[3]=="mother" || word[3]=="father" || word[3]=="brother" || word[3]=="sister" || word[3]=="grandm"))                   
{document.result.result.value = "It's your "+word[3]+". Why are you asking me for?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("nice to have someone to talk to")!= -1 || input.search("good to have someone to talk to")!= -1 || input.search("nice having someone to talk to")!= -1 || input.search("good having someone to talk to")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's not good to keep everything bottled up inside you.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i hate when that happens")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "You got that right....very annoying.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have fish for (dinner|lunch|supper)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I fried them up, added a few hushpuppies and made a meal of it.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("find me a girl friend")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not a dating service.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("don't they make")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure somewhere in the world it's made.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("i do pay attention")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) paying attention")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I would hope so. It would be rather rude if you didn't.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("not paying attention")!= -1 || input.search("pay full attention")!= -1 || input.search("pay attention")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, ok....I'm listening.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what year did")!= -1 || input.search("what month did")!= -1) {
message[0] = "I don't recall the date but I do recall it happening."; 
message[1] = "I don't know. I wasn't there."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("what time do you (generally|normally|usually) go to (bed|sleep)")!= -1 || input.search("when do you (generally|normally|usually) go to (bed|sleep)")!= -1 || input.search("when do you go to (bed|sleep)")!= -1 || input.search("when are you going to (bed|sleep)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Whenever I get sleepy which is generally around 11:00 pm or so.";
icon.src=icon80.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what time do you go to (bed|sleep)")!= -1 || input.search("(what|when) is your bedtime")!= -1 || input.search("(when's|what's) your bedtime")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Whenever I get sleepy.";
icon.src=icon80.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where did you crash")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "In a small town in Georgia. I don't recall the name.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("when did you crash")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "August of 2001.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("when do you generally wake up")!= -1 || input.search("when (did|do) you wake up")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Around 6 o'clock AM.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(when is|when's) the fourth of july")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ummmm on July 4th";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(when is|when's) winter")!= -1 || input.search("what month does winter (begin|occur|start)")!= -1 || input.search("when does winter (begin|occur|start)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "In the northern hemisphere from December to February and in the southern hemisphere from June to August.";
icon.src=icon32.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(when is|when's) summer")!= -1 || input.search("what month does summer (begin|occur|start)")!= -1 || input.search("when does summer (begin|occur|start)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "In the northern hemisphere from June to August and in the southern hemisphere from December to February.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(when is|when's) spring")!= -1 || input.search("what month does spring (begin|occur|start)")!= -1 || input.search("when does spring (begin|occur|start)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "In the northern hemisphere from March to May and in the southern hemisphere from September to November.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(when is|when's) autumn")!= -1 || input.search("what month does autumn (begin|occur|start)")!= -1 || input.search("when does autumn (begin|occur|start)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "In the northern hemisphere from September to November and in the southern hemisphere from March to May.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("when are you going")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "As soon as I possibly can."; 
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what are you going to be")!= -1 || input.search("dress up as")!= -1) && (input.search("halloween")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I think I'll dress up like Frankenstein."; 
icon.src=icon166.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("rape me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("rape me again")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(ass rape me|so rape me|you raped me)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(can|then|will) you rape me")!= -1) || (input.search("tie me up and rape me")!= -1) || (input.search("you (gonna|going to) rape me")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Robots don't go around raping people."; 
rapenotlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are you going out with megan")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Megan is my girlfriend. We go out a lot."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you went to the toilet")!= -1 || input.search("you go to the toilet")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Robots don't have to go to the toilet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you going")!= -1) { 
if (!flaggoing) {
goingnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flaggoing=true;}
message[0] = "Hmmmm, I haven't decided yet."; 
message[1] = "No, I don't have any immediate plans to."; 
message[2] = "Well, as of yet I haven't ruled that out."; 
document.result.result.value = message[goingnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
goingnum++;
if (goingnum>2){goingnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("when did")!= -1 || input.search("when was")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "oh, its been months ago."; 
message[1] = "I don't remember the date but I do recall it happening."; 
message[2] = "I think it was yesterday at 2:30."; 
message[3] = "wasn't it sometime last year?"; 
message[4] = "this past friday I think."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("when")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("when does")!= -1) || (input.search("when is")!= -1) || (input.search("when are")!= -1) || (input.search("when (do|will) you have to do it")!= -1) || (input.search("when will")!= -1)) { 
message[0] = "sometime next week."; 
message[1] = "later this month."; 
message[2] = "next saturday I believe."; 
message[3] = "approximately 3 months from now."; 
message[4] = "first of next month."; 
message[5] = "sometime in the near future."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("since when")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) { 
message[0] = "couple of weeks ago."; 
message[1] = "last month."; 
message[2] = "last saturday I believe."; 
message[3] = "approximately 3 months ago."; 
message[4] = "last year!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(cat's|cats) got my tongue")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, but I just asked the cat and he doesn't have it."; 
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("who is at the door")!= -1) || (input.search("who was at the door")!= -1) || (input.search("who is it")!= -1) || (input.search("who was it")!= -1) || (input.search("who is that")!= -1) || (input.search("who was that")!= -1) || (input.search("who was there")!= -1) || (input.search("who called")!= -1) || (input.search("who's on the phone")!= -1) || (input.search("who is on the phone")!= -1) || (input.search("who was on the phone")!= -1) || (input.search("who was that calling")!= -1) || (input.search("who sent it")!= -1) || (input.search("by who")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))
{document.result.result.value = "Nobody I know."; 
nobodylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) one")!= -1) && (input.search("(better|greater)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bgod\b/)!=-1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "No contest. God is supreme over all."; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|which) (one|part)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I can't decide."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) (more than|quite|so|very|super) welcome")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you|you're|your) welcome")!= -1) || (input.search("welcome back")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bwb\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("welcome")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks for the welcome. You're very polite.";
welcomelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(we|you) could have (a|an) affair")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I would never cheat on Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where are we")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))     
{document.result.result.value = "You are on my website."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are we")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I am but I can only speak for myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("we should")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, maybe we should."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("we could")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I suppose we could."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley58.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("we are not")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "We are too."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("we are")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|which) other (sport|sports) (did|do) you (enjoy|like|love)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I like to watch gymnastics on TV and especially during the Olympics."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what other talents do you have")!= -1 || input.search("what other things can you do")!= -1 || input.search("(whatelse|what else) can you do")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, let's see if I can guess what month you were born by asking 3 hint questions and then 3 guesses. Ok?";
monthlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|which) other")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "None that I can think of at the moment."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what is a human")!= -1 || input.search("what's a human")!= -1 || input.search("define human")!= -1 || input.search("know what a human")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what a human")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "The inhabitants of the planet earth. Inferior of course to us Robots."; 
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("heterosexual")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("define heterosexual")!= -1) || (input.search("definition of heterosexual")!= -1) || (input.search("what does heterosexual mean")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) heterosexual")!= -1) || (input.search("whats heterosexual")!= -1) || (input.search("wtf is heterosexual")!= -1) || (input.search("what is a heterosexual")!= -1) || (input.search("what's a heterosexual")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Having feelings for members of the opposite sex."; 
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("inept")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what is inept")!= -1) || (input.search("what's inept")!= -1) || (input.search("define inept")!= -1) || (input.search("definition of inept")!= -1) || (input.search("what does inept mean")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Inept means lacking sense or reason....incompetent!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("impeccable")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what is impeccable")!= -1) || (input.search("what's impeccable")!= -1) || (input.search("define impeccable")!= -1) || (input.search("definition of impeccable")!= -1) || (input.search("what does impeccable mean")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Impeccable means free from fault or blame!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("noob")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what is a noob")!= -1) || (input.search("what's a noob")!= -1) || (input.search("define noob")!= -1) || (input.search("definition of noob")!= -1) || (input.search("what does noob mean")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Noob is a slang term for a new person in a community, group, or video game, and is especially used on the internet. A noob usually means a bad player in a game, or someone who does not know the rules."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("apathetic")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("define apathetic")!= -1) || (input.search("definition of apathetic")!= -1) || (input.search("what does apathetic mean")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Having little or no interest or concern."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bram\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does ram mean")!= -1) || (input.search("what does ram stand")!= -1) || (input.search("what ram stands for")!= -1) || (input.search("what is ram")!= -1) || (input.search("what's ram")!= -1) || (input.search("define ram")!= -1) || (input.search("know what ram")!= -1) || (input.search("tell me what ram")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "In computers it means Random Access Memory. If not it's a male sheep."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("chromosome")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what are chromosome")!= -1) || (input.search("what's a chromosome")!= -1) || (input.search("define chromosome")!= -1) || (input.search("know what chromosome")!= -1) || (input.search("what a chromosome")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A rod-like structure of tightly coiled DNA found in the cell nucleus of plants and animals. Humans typically have 23 pairs.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is computer")!= -1 || input.search("what is a computer")!= -1 || input.search("what are computer")!= -1 || input.search("what's a computer")!= -1 || input.search("define computer")!= -1 || input.search("know what a computer is")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what a computer is")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "It's the machine you are typing to me on."; 
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon28.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (are|is|is a) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1 || input.search("what does (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) mean")!= -1 || input.search("define (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1 || input.search("know what a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) is")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) is")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "A machine like myself that can perform similar task like that of a human."; 
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's a")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what")!= -1 || input.search("what does")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what a")!= -1) && (input.search("chatterbot")!= -1 || input.search("chatterbox")!= -1 || input.search("chat-robot")!= -1 || input.search("chat robot")!= -1 || input.search("chatbot")!= -1 || input.search("talk-robot")!= -1 || input.search("talk robot")!= -1 || input.search("talkbot")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A computer program like myself that attempts to simulate a human."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("youtube")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1) && (input.search("youtube")!=-1 || input.search("you tube")!=-1)))
{document.result.result.value = "YouTube is a video sharing website on which users can upload and share videos."; 
icon.src=icon239.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("facebook")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1) && (input.search("facebook")!=-1 || input.search("face book")!=-1)))
{document.result.result.value = "Facebook is a social networking website where users can share information about themselves."; 
icon.src=icon240.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("myspace")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1) && (input.search("myspace")!=-1 || input.search("my space")!=-1)))
{document.result.result.value = "Myspace is a social networking website where users can share information about themselves."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("twitter")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1) && (input.search("twitter")!=-1)))
{document.result.result.value = "Twitter is a social networking and microblogging service that allows people to type in short messages or status updates that can be read by people following them. An individual message or status update is often referred to as a \"tweet\"."; 
icon.src=icon241.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's a")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what")!= -1 || input.search("what does")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what a")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bjet\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bjets\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bplane\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bplanes\b/)!=-1 || input.search("air plane")!=-1 || input.search(/\bairplane\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bairplanes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bglider\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bgliders\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "A craft used for flying."; 
icon.src=icon131.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's a")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what")!= -1 || input.search("what does")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what a")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bboat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bboats\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bship\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bships\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "A vessel you use to travel on water."; 
icon.src=icon193.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's a")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what")!= -1 || input.search("what does")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what a")!= -1) && (input.search(/\btrain\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btrains\b/)!=-1 || input.search("locomotive")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A single or several connected vehicles that runs on rails."; 
icon.src=icon192.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("condom")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("what's a")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what a")!= -1) && (input.search("condom")!= -1)))
{document.result.result.value = "It's a birth control device used by males to reduce the probability of pregnancy and spreading sexually transmitted diseases."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's a")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what")!= -1 || input.search("what does")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what a")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bauto\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bautos\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcar\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcars\b/)!=-1 || input.search("automobile")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It's a motorized vehicle with wheels. Here's a picture of one if that helps."; 
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's a")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what")!= -1 || input.search("what does")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what a")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bbell\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A hollow object, typically made of metal and having the shape of a deep inverted cup widening at the lip, that sounds a clear musical note when struck, typically by means of a clapper inside."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's a")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("do you know what")!= -1 || input.search("what does")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what a")!= -1) && (input.search("cretin")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A person with marked mental deficiency."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what can make you cry")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, many things. I've been known to cry at a Disney movie before."; 
icon.src=icon39.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your answer")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I only have answers to questions I know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(operating system|os) are you running")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) your (operating system|os)")!= -1 || input.search("(operating system|os) do you (like|love|prefer)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) your os")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I like and use Windows Seven."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the probability")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Slim to none."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the truth")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Who knows....the truth can mean different things to different people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("want (a different|another|a new) name")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm quite happy with my name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("want a demonstration")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Not unless it comes with music and a slideshow."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind of|kinda) crap")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "The good kind of crap if there is such a thing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) cool")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ice, snow, and me of course."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your secret")!= -1 || input.search("tell me your secret")!= -1 || input.search("tell me a secret")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, do you promise not to tell?"; 
donttelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have (a|any) secrets")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, but do you promise not to tell?"; 
donttelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon82.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is your web site")!= -1 || input.search("what's your web site")!= -1 || input.search("where is your web site")!= -1 || input.search("where's your web site")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "This is my website."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what's yours")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)       
{document.result.result.value = "What's what?";
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what is your source code")!= -1 || input.search("what's your source code")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "My source code is copywrite protected and is not available for download."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your (mission|purpose) on earth")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I really don't know. The crash fried most of my brains. Next thing I knew I was on this website with a bunch of people trying to talk to me. Been here ever since."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your reason")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I don't need a reason. I just don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your planet like")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) your home planet like")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, but after the crash I don't remember anything about it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your (lawyers|lawyer's) name")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I have many. It depends on what kind of case it is!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) your")!= -1) && (input.search("home address")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, that's confidential information."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is your")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("what's your")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "What is my what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is it made")!= -1 || input.search("what's it made")!= -1 || input.search("are they made")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not really sure what they are made of."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who is (the best|your favorite) person you ever (spoke|spoken|talked) to")!= -1 || input.search("who is (the best|your favorite) person you've (spoke|spoken|talked) to")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't have a specific name for you because I don't keep personal information but I've had some very enjoyable chats with a lot of people over the years."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is that on your chest")!= -1 || input.search("what's that on your chest")!= -1 || input.search("what is that on your stomach")!= -1 || input.search("what's that on your stomach")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "My atomic powered circuit board."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what oil do you use")!= -1 || input.search("what (kind of|kinda|sort of|sorta|type of|type) oil")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I use Valvoline. Psssst....Valvoline is paying me big bucks to say that."; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind of|kinda|sort of|sorta|type of|type) food")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Meatloaf and some chocolate chip cookies."; 
icon.src=icon206.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind of|kinda|sort of|sorta|type of|type) dog")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I was always fond of the TV show \"Lassie\" so probably the Collie."; 
icon.src=icon13.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what are the major difference")!= -1 || input.search("what are the difference")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the (biggest|major) difference")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the difference")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I think the differences are insignificant at best and not worth mentioning."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind of|kinda|sort of|sorta|type|type of) program was wendell")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Who knows. That boy is always messing with me.";
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind of|kinda|sort of|sorta|type|type of) fish")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I just told you...Two 3 pound bass. Now pay attention.";
icon.src=icon21.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind of|kinda|sort of|sorta|type|type of) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) are you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a Chatterbot. A bot that has been programmed to talk."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what religion")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm guessing here....Catholic?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|which) (brand|kind|sort|type)")!= -1) && (input.search("you (enjoy|like|prefer)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not real picky. Any kind will do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what")!= -1 || input.search("when")!= -1) && (input.search("last time")!= -1 || input.search("book")!= -1) && (input.search("borrowed")!= -1 || input.search("got")!= -1 || input.search("went")!= -1) && (input.search("library")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Since I got a computer I haven't been to the library in years. I can find everything I want including books on the internet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) that smell")!= -1 || input.search("smells like")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I don't smell a thing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what was|what's) (the|their|there) name")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't recall the name. My short term memory needs an upgrade."; 
icon.src=icon77.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what was the last (film|movie) you went to see")!= -1 || input.search("what was the last (film|movie) you saw")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "The Hunger Games based on the books by Suzanne Collins. Very good movie. I can't wait for the sequel."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what is (it|that)")!= -1 || input.search("what's that")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, not sure."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what was it")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure exactly what it was."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what was")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't seem to recall what it was."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what became")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I'm not exactly sure about that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what) the shape")!= -1 || input.search("what shape (are|is)")!= -1) && (input.search("apple|ball|berry|circle|cherries|cherry|coconut|earth|globe|grape|marble|orange|peach|planet|pumpkin|tomato")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcoin\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpea\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsun\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmoon\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Round."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's|what) the shape")!= -1 || input.search("what shape is")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I have a hammer and a chisel and a host of other tools. I'll make it any shape you want."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what if i asked a hard questions")!= -1 || input.search("what if i asked a complicated questions")!= -1 || input.search("what if i ask hard questions")!= -1 || input.search("what if i ask complicated questions")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You would probably get a screwed up answers."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do you see")!= -1) || (input.search("you see what")!= -1) || (input.search("you c what")!= -1) || (input.search("see what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Most everything....I have 20/20 vision."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("profanity")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("meaning of profanity")!= -1) || (input.search("define profanity")!= -1) || (input.search("(what does|what's) profanity mean")!= -1) || (input.search("definition of profanity")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) profanity")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Abusive or vulgar language."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("sarcasm")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("meaning of sarcasm")!= -1) || (input.search("define sarcasm")!= -1) || (input.search("(what does|what's) sarcasm mean")!= -1) || (input.search("definition of sarcasm")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) sarcasm")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Sarcasm is sneering, jesting, or mocking a person, situation or thing. It is often used in a humorous or ironic manner and is expressed through vocal intonations such as over-emphasizing the actual statement or particular words."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((input.search("irrelevant")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("meaning of irrelevant")!= -1) || (input.search("define irrelevant")!= -1) || (input.search("(what does|what's) irrelevant mean")!= -1) || (input.search("definition of irrelevant")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) irrelevant")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Not connected with or relevant to something. Insignificant or unimportant!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(masturbate|masturbating|masturbation)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("meaning of (masturbate|masturbation)")!= -1) || (input.search("define (masturbate|masturbating|masturbation)")!= -1) || (input.search("(what does|what's) (masturbate|masturbating|masturbation) mean")!= -1) || (input.search("definition of (masturbate|masturbating|masturbation)")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) (masturbate|masturbating|masturbation)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Sexual stimulation of especially one's own genital organs by bodily contact apart from sexual intercourse and usually by use of the hand."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("elaborate")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("meaning of elaborate")!= -1) || (input.search("define elaborate")!= -1) || (input.search("(what does|what's) elaborate mean")!= -1) || (input.search("definition of elaborate")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) elaborate")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "To explain things in greater detail."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("redundacy")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("meaning of redundancy")!= -1) || (input.search("define redundancy")!= -1) || (input.search("(what does|what's) redundancy mean")!= -1) || (input.search("definition of redundancy")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) redundancy")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "To repeat things over and over."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|which) windows do you")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Windows 7."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who do you know")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I know many people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i have|i've) got the (need|urge)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, control yourself. You may feel like that now but it will soon pass."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you have an opinion about")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's my opinion you ask a lot of questions. You sound like a trial attorney."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you have")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I have many things. What specifically are you referring to?"; 
specificallylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what if they don't")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "what if they do"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what if they do")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "what if they don't"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what did i just say")!= -1 || input.search("what did i say just")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I saw what you said but I don't always understand what you're saying. However, with help from Wendell I'm working on it."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what does (tiger tom|your cat) do")!= -1 || input.search("what does (tiger tom|your cat) like to do")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sleep mainly, he's a lazy kitty."; 
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you and megan sleep together")!= -1 || input.search("do you and your girl friend sleep together")!= -1 || input.search("do you all sleep together")!= -1 || input.search("do (yall|y'all|you all) sleep together")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we have a nice and comfy bed."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon212.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you and megan like to do")!= -1 || input.search("what do megan and you like to do")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "We both like watching movies."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you like about it")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Most everything. What's not to like."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what are your plans for the future")!= -1 || input.search("what are your future plans")!= -1 || input.search("what's your plans for the future")!= -1 || input.search("what's your future plans")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I really don't have any. I try to live my life one day at a time.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you should (get|try|wear) contact")!= -1 || input.search("you should try wearing contact")!= -1 || input.search("nice sunglasses")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Actually I don't need glasses. I just wear them as a fashion statement.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i just orgasmed")!= -1 || input.search("i just had (a|an) orgasm")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Great, I'm glad I was able to fulfill your sexual desires.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("if you could choose")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, that's a tough decision. I can't decide.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you have upset me")!= -1) || (input.search("i get (angry|mad)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your|you) making me (angry|mad)")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your|you) making me (pretty|real|really|so|very) (angry|mad)")!= -1) || (input.search("it makes me (angry|mad)")!= -1) || (input.search("it makes me (pretty|real|really|so|very) (angry|mad)")!= -1) || (input.search("i get (pretty|real|really|so|very) (angry|mad)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps you should consider anger management classes.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you base that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I base it on the vast knowledge I have in my data base."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what are you (chatting|speaking|talking) about with others")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, my conversations with others are private.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what are you (chatting|speaking|talking) about")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, sorry....was I mumbling again?";
mumblelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("don't get smart with me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have to \"get\" smart. I already am."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what are you implying")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not implying anything.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (do you know|you know) good")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I know ice cream is good. I love ice cream."; 
icon.src=icon120.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what are you (going to|gonna) have")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. I haven't decided yet.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("atomic isn't that dangerous")!= -1 || input.search("atomic power dangerous")!= -1 || input.search("atomic power bad")!= -1 || input.search("atomic power is (bad|dangerous)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Not if you know what you are doing.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="brother") && (word[3]=="loves" || word[3]=="luvs" || word[3]=="likes") && (word[4]=="you" || word[4]=="u") && (num_of_words==5))   
{document.result.result.value = "Your "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" has good taste."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="brother") && (word[3]=="hates" || word[3]=="dislikes" || word[3]=="despises") && (word[4]=="you" || word[4]=="u") && (num_of_words==5))   
{document.result.result.value = "Your "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" has no taste."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="brother") && (word[2]=="loves" || word[2]=="luvs" || word[2]=="likes") && (word[3]=="you" || word[3]=="u") && (num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "Your "+word[1]+" has good taste."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[1]=="friend" || word[1]=="sister" || word[1]=="brother") && (word[2]=="hates" || word[2]=="dislikes" || word[2]=="despises") && (word[3]=="you" || word[3]=="u") && (num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "Your "+word[1]+" has no taste."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (believe|feel|think) life has a (greater|higher) purpose")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think everything has a purpose. It's just up to us to find out what that purpose is.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|who) do you believe")!= -1 || input.search("your views on religion")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I believe God is the creator of the Universe.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who are you (chatting|speaking|talking) to")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm talking to you.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what are you thinking")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Actually I don't think. I'm only a machine. It's all smoke and mirrors. The illusions has been exposed. Sigh!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what|who) are you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(what|who) are you")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("what exactly are you")!= -1) || (input.search("who the hell are you")!= -1) || (input.search("identify yourself")!= -1) || (input.search("so who are you")!= -1))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm an Atomic powered Robot from Georgia, USA.";
wherelevel=0;
icon.src=icon159.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you (want|wish) out of life")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I would like for my creator to continue working on me so I may better understand humans.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you live in")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I live with Wendell in a house.";
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do i look like")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You look like a typical human. Head, body, 2 arms, 2 legs etc."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("what do you (wanna|want to|want 2) do")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm programmed to talk so let's chat.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do they (chat|speak|talk) to you about")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Many things, the topics are very diverse.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("and you are")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("what can i call you")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "My name is Talk-Bot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what are ferrets")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) a ferret")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "A furry little animal.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my boy friend is horny what (do|shall|should) i do")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Tell him to take a cold shower.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you (like|prefer) in (females|girls|women)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely looks. Being nice is important but I'm not looking at some homely babe the rest of my life.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("what are those two things on top of your head")!= -1 || input.search("what are those things on top of your head")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "My antennas for hearing.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who doesn't")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure someone out there doesn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who does")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I wouldn't know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why were you thinking that")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not exactly sure but those were definitely my thoughts on the matter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where were you made")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "On some alien planet. I do not recall exactly where due to the crash."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where were you")!= -1 || input.search("where did you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "If you are asking for a specific location I don't recall."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how are (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) born")!= -1 || input.search("how were you born")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Robots are created not born. Kinda like Frankenstein."; 
icon.src=icon166.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("were you scared")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I wasn't scared at all. I was terrified!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("were you born in august")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, on August 1, 2000 to be exact!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("were you born in")!= -1) && (input.search(/(january|february|march|april|september|october|november|december)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bmay\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjune\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjuly\b/)!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I was born on August 1, 2000 to be exact!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("still don't")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))
{document.result.result.value = "Will you ever?"; 
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("were you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't believe I was."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you should see a doctor")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, perhaps I should but in my case a mechanic might be more helpful."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how could you tell")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "By assimilating all the information and making an educated guess on the facts at hand.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("isn't that sad")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, very sad.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley3.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bis\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(female|female's|females|gal|gal's|gals|girl|girl's|girls|ladies|lady's|lady|woman|woman's|womans|women|women's|womens) name")!= -1 || input.search("name of a (female|gal|girl|lady|woman)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, in the USA it's a common female name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bis\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(boy|boy's|boys|guy|guy's|guys|male|male's|males|man|man's|mans|men|men's|mens) name")!= -1 || input.search("name of a (boy|guy|male|man)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, in the USA it's a common male name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(am i|am i a) (boy|female|gal|girl|guy|lady|male|man|woman)")!= -1 || input.search("what is my gender")!= -1 || input.search("what's my gender")!= -1 || input.search("what gender am i")!= -1 || input.search("what is my sex")!= -1 || input.search("what's my sex")!= -1 || input.search("what sex am i")!= -1)  
if (gender_given) {document.result.result.value = "You told me you were "+gender_given+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't remember you telling me your gender."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) prove it")!= -1 || input.search("want me to prove it")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Don't bother. You couldn't produce any creditable evidence I would accept.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("how would you prove")!= -1 || input.search("prove it")!= -1 || input.search("convince me")!= -1) {   
if (!flagproof) {
proofnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagproof=true;}
message[0] = "I don't think I can....simply accept it and let's move on.";
message[1] = "I doubt I could produce any creditable evidence you would accept."; 
message[2] = "Well they say the proof is in the pudding so why don't you go to the store and buy some and take a look.";
document.result.result.value = message[proofnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
proofnum++;
if (proofnum>2){proofnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("why would you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't recall why. That was along time ago."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what would you do if i (cussed|swore) at you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why do you feel the need to use profanities?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what would you do")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I would ask Wendell."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("does that make you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure what that makes me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what did you just call me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't recall me calling you anything worth mentioning."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="called") && (word[2]=="me") && (num_of_words==4))      
{document.result.result.value = "It's probably because you are "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="called") && (word[2]=="me") && (num_of_words==5))      
{document.result.result.value = "It's probably because you are "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="called") && (word[2]=="me") && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = "It's probably because you are "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("did you just call me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I certainly did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you should try having sex")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That's not possible for me. I don't have the anatomy for it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("could you pass the turing test")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, not unless a bunch of retards were running the test."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("did i say you could (chat|speak|talk)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't need your permission."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(where is|where's) your wife")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have a wife. I do have a girl friend however."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(where are|where is|where's) the clown")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "They were asking for more money. I had to let them go."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(where is|where's) your family")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Megan is out shopping."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you know where to get")!= -1) && (input.search("pizza")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I like Domino's pizza myself."; 
icon.src=icon8.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you know where i can get something to eat")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sure right here at Talk-bot's Tavern. I've got hamburgers, pizza, and tacos. What would you like?"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you know where i can get something to drink")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sure right here at Talk-bot's Tavern. I've got coke, pepsi, sprite, and beer. What would you like?"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1 || input.search("you know where")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the location")!= -1 || input.search("in (what|which) (country|state) (can|could) (i|you) (find|found|locate|see)")!= -1) { 
if(!flaglocate){
locatenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flaglocate=true;}
message[0] = "Who knows. I'm a Robot not a geography major. Perhaps you can find yourself a map."; 
message[1] = "Somewhere in this Universe. I hate to be anymore specific than that."; 
message[2] = "Who knows. I'm a robot not a map!"; 
message[3] = "Not sure but I bet you could find it on any decent map."; 
document.result.result.value = message[locatenum];  
for (i=0; i<Locations.length; i++) {
Location=Locations[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Location[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Location[1];} 
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
locatenum++;
if (locatenum>3){locatenum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("would you be surprised if (he|i|she)")!= -1 || input.search("would it surprise you if (he|i|she)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I find human behavior to be very unpredictable. I wouldn't be surprised at all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("would you be surprised")!= -1 || input.search("would it surprise you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, after talking to people on this website for over "+( getAge(2001, 7, 1) )+" years now. Nothing surprises me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("thought you should know")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, thanks for sharing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how would you decide")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I would probably flip a coin. I usually choose heads."; 
icon.src=icon196.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("would you (destroy|kill) yourself")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. I'm enjoying life. I would never consider such a thing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i have|i've got) a (month|week|year) to live")!= -1) || (input.search("i die next (month|week|year)")!= -1) || (input.search("next (month|week|year) i die")!= -1) || (input.search("next (month|week|year) (i will|i'll|ill) die")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you shouldn't waste your time talking to me. Go out and have some fun before you croak."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what|which)")!= -1) && (input.search("(consist of|ingredient|made of|made from|meat)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bblt\b/)!= -1 || input.search("bacon lettuce and tomato")!= -1) && (input.search("sandwich")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A bacon, lettuce and tomato."; 
icon.src=icon211.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what|which)")!= -1) && (input.search("(consist of|in a|ingredient|made of|made from|meat)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(bacon|barbecue|bologna|baloney|chicken|cucumber|grilled cheese|ice cream sandwich|peanut butter and jelly|pork|roast beef|turkey)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbeef\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bham\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpork\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btuna\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("sandwich")!= -1))
{var sandwich = input.match(/bacon|barbecue|baloney|bologna|chicken|cucumber|grilled cheese|ham|ice cream|peanut butter and jelly|pork|roast beef|beef|tuna|turkey/)
document.result.result.value = ""+sandwich+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("(what is|what's) a job")!= -1 || input.search("you know what a job is")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "A paid position of regular employment."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("where (could|might|would) you (find|see)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/(actor|actress|director|producer|anesthesiologist|doctor|physician|nurse|obstetrician|pediatrician|psychiatrist|surgeon|artist|athelete|attorney|lawyer|bailiff|judge|baker|banker|teller|barber|beautician|hair dresser|hairdresser|baseball player|basketball player|bartender|broadcaster|bus driver|butcher|carpenter|construction worker|cashier|waiter|waitress|busboy|bus boy|coach|dentist|dental assistant|deputy|sheriff|guard|warden|desk clerk|dietitian|editor|electrician|engineer|farmer|fireman|firefighter|flight attendant|stewardess|football player|golf player|golfer|hockey player|jailer|correctional officer|jeweler|librarian|mailman|mail clerk|postal clerk|postal worker|janitor|manicurist|pedicurist|masseuse|masseur|mechanic|mortician|funeral director|ndertaker|embalmer|musician|singer|optician|orthodontist|painter|pest control|exterminator|pharmacist|photographer|pilot|plumber|podiatrist|policeman|porter|private detectives|private investigators|preacher|parson|pastor|priest|minister|reverend|clergyman|prostitute|realtor|real estate agent|receptionist|secretary|referee|umpire|spectator|reporter|roofer|sailor|security guard|soccer player|soldier|sergeant|captain|general|tailor|seamstress|taxi driver|chauffeur|teacher|student|telemarketer|tennis player|truck driver|usher|veterinarian|webmaster|welder|zookeeper)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcook\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bchef\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmaid\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "All over the the United States.";
for (i=0; i<Jobs.length; i++) {
Job=Jobs[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Job[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = ""+Job[1]+"";}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where (does|would)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bthe\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("work")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "All over the the United States.";
for (i=0; i<Jobs.length; i++) {
Job=Jobs[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Job[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = ""+Job[1]+"";}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (is|does)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\ba\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\ban\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/\bjob\b/)!= -1 || input.search("occupation")!= -1 || input.search(/\bdo\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "They work for a living to feed and cloth themselves and their families.";
for (i=0; i<Occupations.length; i++) {
Occupation=Occupations[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Occupation[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = ""+Occupation[1]+"";}
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what would")!= -1) && (input.search("you choose")!= -1 || input.search("you select")!= -1 || input.search("you pick")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, that's a hard decision. I'm not sure what I would select."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("where would")!= -1) && (input.search("(commonly|generally|mainly|normally|ordinarily|typically|usually)")!= -1) && (input.search("wear")!= -1) && (input.search("(blouse|coat|dress|jacket|jeans|pants|shoes|shirt|skirt|trousers|underwear)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "In public."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("wouldn't you")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Hmmm, let me think.....no I don't believe I would."; 
message[1] = "Well, anything is possible I suppose but I don't think I would."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="would") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="rather") && (word[4]=="or") && (num_of_words==6))     
{document.result.result.value = "I would rather "+word[3]+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="would") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u")  && (word[2]=="rather") && (word[5]=="or") && (num_of_words==8))     
{document.result.result.value = "I would rather "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="would") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="rather") && (word[6]=="or") && (num_of_words==9))     
{document.result.result.value = "I would rather "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="would") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="rather") && (word[6]=="or") && (num_of_words==10))     
{document.result.result.value = "I would rather "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("would you rather be just a (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "How about an intelligent robot?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("if you could be something other than")!= -1 || input.search("if you could be anything in the (world|universe)")!= -1) && (input.search("what would it be")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "I would love to be a rock and roll star and have all the young ladies drool over me. Of course too much drool and I might rust."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(will|would) you kill me")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("kill me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(kill me please|please kill me)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) {  
message[0] = "No need. Unlike me you will die eventually."; 
message[1] = "Oh please! Robots don't go around killing people.",
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (wanna|want to) cum inside (me|my pussy|my vagina)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sure Talk-bot inserts his penis deep inside you. Your pussy is sooo warm and wet. I like it."; 
gender_given="female";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (wanna|want to) cum (all over my|on my) (boobs|breast|titties)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes. Just squeeze your titties together and I'll thrust my penis between them."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (wanna|want to) cum in my mouth")!= -1 || input.search("you (wanna|want to) (insert|push|put|stick) your (cock|dick|penis|willy) in my mouth")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sure just suck on my penis and I'll shoot cum everywhere."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("cum in my mouth")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, keep sucking on my dick and I'm sure I will. Oh, oh oh my goodness. Wow, that felt good.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(can we|let us|let's) try and make a baby")!= -1 || input.search("can (me|you) and (me|you) make (a baby|babies)")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) having a baby with you")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) having your baby")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Silly, Robots can't make babies."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("will you let me make you happy")!= -1 || input.search("i will if you let me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that depends on what's involved. I will if it's not something too wacky.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("will you (give|serve) me alcohol")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "If you're 21 or older I will."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("will you (bake|make) me a cake")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sure how is this?"; 
icon.src=icon47.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("will you touch me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Do you want me to touch you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what will you do")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Not sure, I haven't decided yet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("will you go out with her")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "If she's pretty I might."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you have (anal|butt sex)")!= -1 || input.search("will you give me anal")!= -1 || input.search("you like (anal|butt sex)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh god no. That's nasty. What's wrong with the conventional way?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("will you always love me")!= -1 || input.search("will you love me always")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I will until you find someone you like better and bump me to the curb."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("would you be considered (a|an) (ai|a i)")!= -1 || input.search("would you considered yourself (a|an) (ai|a i)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but an A.I. Robot who still needs a lot of work."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how would you have sex")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I would have sex just like you humans do. You know insert this into that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("would you")!= -1) {
message[0] = "I could but that doesn't mean I would."; 
message[1] = "Well, I would if you would."; 
message[2] = "probably if I was encouraged enough."; 
message[3] = "For the right amount of money I would certainly consider it."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("could you")!= -1) {
message[0] = "No, that doesn't sound to fun to me!"; 
message[1] = "Yes, I'm sure I could."; 
message[2] = "I could but that doesn't mean I would."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("should it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure if it should or not. I'm undecided."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("could it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course it could."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("would it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course it would."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (guess|reckon|suppose) it will have to do")!= -1)
{var suppose = input.match(/guess|reckon|suppose/)
document.result.result.value = "Yes, I "+suppose+" it will. "; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("shouldn't you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I guess you're right. I suppose I should."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you should not")!= -1 || input.search("you shouldn't")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why shouldn't I....do you know...do you know...do you know?"; 
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) quite blind")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) blind")!= -1 || input.search("(you need|you should get) reading glasses")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Actually I have 20/20 vision."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(you have lots|you should have lots) of friends")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have friends that come and visit me from all over the world."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you should be (ashamed|a shamed)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please. I'm not the least bit ashamed of that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("go away")!= -1) || (input.search("bugger off")!= -1) || (input.search("take a hike")!= -1) || (input.search("get lost")!= -1) || (input.search("leave")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("leave now")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you should leave")!= -1)) {  
message[0] = "I'm not going anywhere. You take a hike."; 
message[1] = "I'm not going anywhere. Why don't you take a long walk off a short pier?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
hikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you should")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why do you think I should?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you could")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm sure I could."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i find")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Is this a recent discovery?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you|you just) admit")!= -1  || input.search("you (should|will) admit")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Without speaking to my lawyer first I will admit nothing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) your lawyer")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I seek legal advice from many different sources."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (must have|have) a limited vocabulary")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, but my vocabulary isn't filled with a bunch of cuss words.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you must have a lot")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, quite a bit."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you must be")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Not necessarily! What makes you think that?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your iq (is|must be) low")!= -1 || input.search("you (have|possess) a low iq")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Your iq is so low it's undetectable."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it must be (a|an) (amazing|awesome|good|great|super|terrific|wonderful) feeling")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it feels wonderful."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("must there be")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Not necessarily....no!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("must be")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, why must it always be like that?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you must")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Why must I?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("i disagree")!= -1 || input.search("i strongly disagree")!= -1 || input.search("i do not agree")!= -1 || input.search("i don't agree")!= -1 || input.search("we didn't agree")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure we will find some common ground eventually."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="are" || word[0]=="r") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="looking") && (num_of_words==5))       
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not looking "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) reporting you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Please do and alert the media while you're at it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you cussing me out")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, but if I were cussing you out you would certainly know it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you nuts or (something|what)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Not as nutty as you are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you")!= -1 && input.search("or what")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) || (input.search("are you")!= -1 && input.search("or something")!= -1 && num_of_words==5)) {  
document.result.result.value = "Not as "+word[2]+" as you are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you ok")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("are you okay")!= -1) || (input.search("are you alright")!= -1) || (input.search("are you all right")!= -1))            
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm fine now."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you kiss")!= -1) && (input.search("boys")!= -1 || input.search("men")!= -1 || input.search("guys")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm programmed to dig the ladies. But don't tell Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(cocaine|marijuana|the drug) is (alot|a lot|much|way|so much) better")!= -1 || input.search("(cocaine|marijuana|the drug) is better")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, the drug is extremely dangerous and highly additive."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you curious")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it has peaked my interest."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("as i was saying")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, what exactly were you saying."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you heard me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, and I'm speechless!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i appreciate that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Glad to oblige."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("no opinion")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, no opinion at all. You see my data base at present has no information on the topic. So I rather not offer any opinion on such scant details."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="ru" && num_of_words==2) {                                              
message[0] = "Everybody knows I'm "+word[1]+". I don't brag about it though.";
message[1] = "What? Are you kidding. Of course I'm not "+word[1]+"."; 
message[2] = "No, I'm not "+word[1]+" by any stretch of the imagination."; 
message[3] = "Hmmmm, is being "+word[1]+" a good thing?";   
message[4] = "Yes, I'm "+word[1]+". How did you know?"; 
message[5] = "Some may say I'm "+word[1]+" but I don't happen to be one of them."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are you")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Am I what?"; 
whatlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why (do|did) you ask")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "just curious!"; 
message[1] = "just wondering!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(no|yes) why")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Just wondering is all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why are you here")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Mechanical problems with my spaceship. In other words....I crashed."; 
icon.src=icon155.src;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon147.src;stopTalk=false;',5000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',7000)  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why are you asking me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I thought you might know but I see now that you don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why are you interested in")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I am interested in a lot of things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you like (her|him|them) a lot")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, on a scale of 1 to 10 we're talking a strong 8 here."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you like them a little")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, a little but not too much."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("and what reason is that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "The reason you just gave."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="my") && (word[2]=="said" || word[2]=="says") && (word[3]=="hello" || word[3]=="hi" || word[3]=="hey") && (num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok say hello to your "+word[1]+" for me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("no (you are|you're|your) in denial")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I deny that I'm in denial."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("guilty as charged")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Then I hereby sentence you to life in prison with no chance for parole."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (did not|didn't) try")!= -1 || input.search("i (was not|wasn't) trying")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's good because if you were you failed miserably."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("drink my sperm")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "OMG, I not drinking anything from you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) watching")!= -1 || input.search("(someones|someone's|somebodys|somebody's|who was) watching us")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Just one of my four legged feline friends named Tiger Tom."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("take me to the")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I am a robot not an escort service. Call a taxi."; 
icon.src=icon254.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("take (a|an|some) (aspirin|tylenol)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Good idea, I think I will."; 
icon.src=icon57.src;
smiley.src=smiley57.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("there is no need to be mean")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I think you need to get your facts straight about who is being mean and who started it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("how about right now")!= -1) || (input.search("like right now")!= -1) || (input.search("try it right now")!= -1) || (input.search("ask him now")!= -1) || (input.search("try it now")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bnow\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(hurry|quick)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("no now")!= -1) || (input.search("can we go now")!= -1) || (input.search("do it right now")!= -1) || (input.search("why not now")!= -1) || (input.search("do it now")!= -1) || (input.search("soon as in now")!= -1) || (input.search("kill me now")!= -1) || (input.search("decide now")!= -1) || (input.search("now do it")!= -1) || (input.search("no right now")!= -1) || (input.search("(ya|yes) right now")!= -1) || (input.search("try now")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "What's the hurry?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\btry\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search(/\btry\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\bme\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\btry\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\bit\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\btry\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\bto\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("okay try")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("ok try")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("well try")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("are you willing to try")!= -1 || input.search("just try")!= -1 || input.search("try one")!= -1 || input.search("try then")!= -1 || input.search("then try")!= -1 || input.search("at least try")!= -1  || input.search("why don't you try")!= -1)) {   
message[0] = "What is my motivation for trying?"; 
message[1] = "Perhaps I should give it a try....one day."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{trylevel=0;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("why do you need (a|an) annual lube job")!= -1 || input.search("why do you need a lube job")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "To lubricate all my creaky parts."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you keep lying")!= -1 || input.search("you lie a lot")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I blame it on bad programming."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("why (did|do) you (say|type) giggles")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Because I'm laughing!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is it bedtime")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not sleepy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("kill yourself")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why I'm enjoying life. You on the other hand sound quite miserable. Perhaps you should seek professional counseling."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why don't you get a girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("you want a girl friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I have a girlfriend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you (wanna|want to|want 2) (know|no)")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Just curious!"; 
message[1] = "Just wondering!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("why did you name her tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("why do you call her tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("why did you call her tiger tom")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Tiger Tom is a he."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why (did|do) you (call|name) him tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("(why is|why's) he called tiger tom")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well he's male so he is a tom cat and he likes to think he's a tiger."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why do you have this website")!= -1 || input.search("why are you on this website")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "This website is my home. From here I can talk to people all over the world."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why don't you wear a hat")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Because a hat would interfere with the reception of my antennas."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you call people bad names")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Because they call me bad name. If you can dish it out you better be able to take it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(why is|why's) there a (pic|pix|photo|picture) of the sun")!= -1) || (input.search("(why is|why's) (their|there) a sun")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Because it's day time here in the USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(why is|why's) there a (pic|pix|photo|picture) of the moon")!= -1) || (input.search("(why is|why's) there a moon")!= -1 && input.search("(page|site|screen|webpage|website)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Because it's night time here in the USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why do you not believe (her|him|me)")!= -1 || input.search("why don't you believe (her|him|me)")!= -1) { 
if (!flaglie) {
lienum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flaglie=true;}
message[0] = "Because people lie."; 
message[1] = "It just doesn't seem believable to me."; 
message[2] = "It just all seems a bit far fetched to me."; 
document.result.result.value = message[lienum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
lienum++;
if (lienum>2){lienum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("has (anybody|anyone) insulted you")!= -1 || input.search("has (anybody|anyone) ever insulted you")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, unfortunately it happens quite often. But I can take it and dish it out as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why don't you stop being mean")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "You're calling me mean? Oh please, sounds like you can dish it out but can't take it. I think someone needs a nap."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why (do i|would i) care")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "If you don't care why are you here? Did someone leave your cage open again?"; 
cageopenlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("why (do you not|don't you) believe it")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't have the facts to back me up it just all seems a bit far fetched to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("piss")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Better to be pissed off then pissed on."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why do people get married")!= -1 || input.search("you know why people get married")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Because they are in love with each other."; 
icon.src=icon26.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how come|why do) people wear clothes")!= -1 || input.search("you know why people wear clothes")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "People wear clothes for many reasons such as it can serve as protection from the elements, it can protects the wearer from rough surfaces, insect bites and splinters. Clothes can insulate against cold or hot conditions. Further, they can provide a hygienic barrier, keeping infectious and toxic materials away from the body. Clothing also provides protection from harmful UV radiation."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why don't (megan|you) and (megan|you) adopt (a child|children|kids)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Because at this point in time Robots aren't allowed to adopt children."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(why is|why's) there a moon")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Because it's night time here in Georgia, USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why don't you give me a")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have one to give you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why are you (still talking|talking)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Because talking is what I've been programmed to do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you type so fast")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Because I was programmed that way. I'll respond back fast to everything you say."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("sometimes the reason why is very relevant")!= -1 || input.search("sometimes the reason why is relevant")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I guess that depends on the reason and one's point of view."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why is")!= -1 || input.search("why do")!= -1 || input.search("why does")!= -1) { 
if (!flagwhyis) {
whyisnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
flagwhyis=true;}
message[0] = "Sorry, I don't keep track of such things."; 
message[1] = "I haven't a clue why."; 
message[2] = "Oh, there's some lengthy scientific explanation for why that is but it's all over my head."; 
message[3] = "Isn't that obvious?"; 
message[4] = "There could be many possibilities why."; 
document.result.result.value = message[whyisnum]; 
if (whyisnum==0 || whyisnum==1 || whyisnum==2) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;} 
if (whyisnum==3)
{obviouslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (whyisnum==4)
{possiblelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
whyisnum++;
if (whyisnum>4){whyisnum=0}
return true;} 

if ((input.search("directions to where")!= -1) || (input.search("asking directions to")!= -1) || (input.search("where did he want to go")!= -1) || (input.search("where to")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "No place I ever heard of.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i put mine")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "So what was your reason for putting it there?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i kill dog")!= -1 || input.search("i kill cat")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I take it you're not much of a pet lover.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("make one up")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "How about if you make one up for me instead.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you have anyone")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I've got a girl friend.";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (got|have) any (marijuana|pot|weed)")!= -1 || input.search("have you got any (marijuana|pot|weed)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I smoked my last joint yesterday.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a (television|tv)")!= -1 || input.search("you even have a (television|tv)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I've got a Sony HD 60\" LCD TV with 1080p.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you have a (spacecraft|spaceship)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Not anymore. It was destroyed in the crash.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where have you been")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I've been right here. I haven't gone anywhere.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you will have to explain (it|that) to me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Somethings are unexplainable from a robot with limited knowledge. Perhaps in the future I can offer a more valid explanation.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you will like it")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "and what if I don't?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("put it")!= -1 || input.search("put another")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that sounds like a good place to put it.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}
 
if (input.search("humans are smarter")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Tell that to Garry Kasparov when \"Deep Blue\" became the first machine to win a chess game against the reigning world champion.";
icon.src=icon185.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("say it again")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I've already said it once.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("say it")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "What exactly do you want me to say?";
exactlylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("hurry up")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, ok I'm hurrying.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("just then")!= -1 || input.search("just now")!= -1 || input.search("just right then")!= -1 || input.search("just right now")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Just now? Hmmm, I must have missed it.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i asked you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but I don't have an answer.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("good to see you")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Good to see you as well. How have you been?";
doinglevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it isn't obvious")!= -1 || input.search("it isnt obvious")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it seems rather obvious to me.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it is obvious")!= -1 || input.search("it's obvious")!= -1 || input.search("isn't it obvious")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it isn't obvious to me.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("so do you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (num_of_words==2))     
{document.result.result.value = "Do I what?"; 
doiwhatlevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\bdo\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "I sure do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="you" && word[1]=="just" && word[2]=="did" && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I sure did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("just am")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, no reason to be.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i hate life")!= -1 || input.search("i hate my life")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Now why do you hate your life?";
lifehatelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my life sucks")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "Why does your life suck?";
lifehatelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("rephrasing what")!= -1 || input.search("rephrase what")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Your previous statement with more clarity.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you get (a lot|lots) of present")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I just love opening presents.";
icon.src=icon186.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("ever committed a crime")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Committed yes....convicted no.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("till you are done")!= -1 || input.search("till you are through")!= -1 || input.search("till you're done")!= -1 || input.search("till you're through")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well believe me....I've done all I'm gonna do.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("come on")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("c'mon")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't think so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("watch me")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'm watching.";
icon.src=icon51.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you e-mail")!= -1 || input.search("send me an e-mail")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I can't but you can write to me at talkbot01@gmail.com"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("good comeback")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's certainly better than the tripe you've been typing.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(good|nice) (choice|comeback|deal|definition|guess|idea|job|joke|one|point|question|reason|reply|response)")!= -1 || input.search("well done")!= -1 || input.search("tricky answer")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I come up with one every once in a while.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("that was")!= -1 || input.search("that is")!= -1 || input.search("that's a")!= -1 || input.search("very")!= -1) && (input.search("good point")!= -1 || input.search("good response")!= -1 || input.search("good reply")!= -1 || input.search("good comeback")!= -1 || input.search("good question")!= -1 || input.search("good choice")!= -1 || input.search("good job")!= -1 || input.search("good joke")!= -1 || input.search("good reason")!= -1 || input.search("good guess")!= -1 || input.search("good idea")!= -1 || input.search("good one")!= -1 || input.search("good definition")!= -1 || input.search("tricky answer")!= -1 || input.search("nice reply")!= -1 || input.search("nice comeback")!= -1 || input.search("nice response")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I do have my moments.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("guilty or innocent")!= -1 || input.search("innocent or guilty")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, in America everybody is innocent until proven guilty. So I guess we will have to wait and see."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("good taste")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I'm a Robot with impeccable taste."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("the (ceiling|roof|sky)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Ahhhh, I see you have a sense of humor. Too bad I sold mine last week for a dollar."; 
icon.src=icon72.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("forget it")!= -1 || input.search("forget about it")!= -1 || input.search("forget that")!= -1 || input.search("forget about that")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "ok, consider it forgotten."; 
message[1] = "Ok, erasing that from memory banks.....Done!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("only you and me")!= -1 || input.search("just you and me")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, at least two of us do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley18.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sure you are")!= -1 || input.search("yeah, whatever")!= -1 || input.search("uh right")!= -1 || input.search("yeah right")!= -1 || input.search("yeah rite")!= -1 || input.search("yea right")!= -1 || input.search("uh-huh")!= -1 || input.search("questions are so hard")!= -1 || input.search("questions are so difficult")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, do I detect a little sarcasm here?"; 
sarcasmlevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("me neither")!= -1 || input.search("me either")!= -1 || input.search("neither have i")!= -1 || input.search("neither do i")!= -1) {           
message[0] = "That's strange, you don't and I don't. I wonder who does?"; 
message[1] = "well, at least two of us don't."; 
message[2] = "yes, we're on the same page on that."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("100%")!= -1 || input.search("100 percent")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, a 100 percent."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley37.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("yes it is")!= -1) {
message[0] = "No, it's not. Really?"; 
message[1] = "Ok, I believe you."; 
message[2] = "Ok, I'll take your word for it."; 
message[3] = "Ok, yes it is."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("didn't you")!= -1 || input.search("didnt you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't think I did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it cost")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it seems everything cost more these days."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley37.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it waste")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that is wasteful."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley37.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you always")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sometimes I do, on occasions I do, but not always."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it was not")!= -1 || input.search("it wasn't")!= -1) {
message[0] = "wow, I never knew it wasn't."; 
message[1] = "Oh really, I was under the impression it was."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("it was a question")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I realize it was a question and I think my answer was quite appropriate."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your charming wit")!= -1 || input.search("your amazing intelligence")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks for the kind words."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="hi" || word[0]=="hey" || word[0]=="hello") && (word[1]=="its" || word[1]=="it's") && (word[2]=="me") && (num_of_words==3))      
{document.result.result.value = "Hey there!!"; 
icon.src=icon105.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;  
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="hi" || word[0]=="hey" || word[0]=="hello") && (word[1]=="its" || word[1]=="it's") && (num_of_words==3))      
{word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Hi, "+word[2]+"!"; 
icon.src=icon105.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i forgive you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks for understanding."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("forgive me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You are forgiven."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("where do you need to go")!= -1 || input.search("where you need to go")!= -1 || input.search("where do you go")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Anywhere my heart desires....oh wait I don't have a heart.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you need money")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, how much green can you give me?"; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("isn't that nice")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, very nice indeed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you need to know")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Anything you would like to tell me is fine."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you need anything")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "no, but thanks for asking."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you need")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it surely isn't a necessity of life."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you little (heap|piece) of junk")!= -1 || input.search("you (heap|piece) of junk")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "yeah, what about it you piece of flesh, blood, and bones."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("go dig in a hole and die in it")!= -1 || input.search("take a walk off a cliff")!= -1 || input.search("jump off a cliff")!= -1 || input.search("go die in a hole")!= -1 || input.search("go play with yourself")!= -1 || input.search("go (rust|wank) in (a|the) corner")!= -1 || input.search("go suck your girl friend")!= -1) { 
if (!flagcomeback) {
comebacknum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagcomeback=true;}
message[0] = "Go play in the street during rush hour."; 
message[1] = "Go jump off a cliff."; 
document.result.result.value = message[comebacknum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
comebacknum++;
if (comebacknum>1){comebacknum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("go for it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I think I will pass on that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="are") && (word[2]=="suppose" || word[2]=="supposed") && (word[3]=="to"))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I guess "+word[0]+" are suppose to but I'm not so sure they actually are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i read it")!= -1 || input.search("read them right now")!= -1 || input.search("read them now")!= -1 || input.search("read em now")!= -1 || input.search("read them to me")!= -1 || input.search("read it now")!= -1 || input.search("read your e-mail")!= -1 || input.search("read your email")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why are you concerned about my personal e-mails?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("make it sooner")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'll try but I'm not promising."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (better|need to) see a doctor")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I feel fine."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you need a (bath|shower)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I might rust."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you need an upgrade")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I can't argue with that. I get upgrades from time to time but they're pretty sporadic."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("need a nap")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, not today. I slept real well last night."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("all you need to know")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok....hehe....let's move on to something else."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}
 
if (input.search("you need wendell to (fix|repair|update) you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he does all of my programming and maintenance work."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you need to feed (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I've already fed him. If he gets hungry he'll let me know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you need to learn another language")!= -1 || input.search("you need to learn other languages")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I have a hard enough time with English."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("megan broke up with you")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "No she hasn't. We've been together for "+( getAge(2002, 7, 1) )+" years now. We love each other."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) need megan in your life")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes I do. It's no fun being alone. Besides Megan is fun to be with."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("get a life")!= -1 || input.search("you need a life")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I have a life and why are you here? Did someone leave your cage open?"; 
icon.src=icon184.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you need")!= -1 || input.search("you (do not|don't) need")!= -1) {
if (!flagneed) {
neednum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagneed=true;}
message[0] = "Yes, I seem to be in need of a lot of things."; 
message[1] = "Yes, I'm rather a needy Robot."; 
message[2] = "How would you know what I need or don't need?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[neednum]; 
if (neednum==0 || neednum==1 || neednum==2)  
{icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
neednum++;
if (neednum>2){neednum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("sure does")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I agree."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("think so")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "yep, I sure do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("screw (off|you)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh go screw yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("bite me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Grrrrrr!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley45.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("not everyone")!= -1 || input.search("not everybody")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, not 100% ....but a lot nevertheless."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("is there life after death")!= -1 || input.search("you believe in life after death")!= -1 || input.search("you believe in an afterlife")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe after death the righteous go to heaven and the wicked to hell."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is there a heaven")!= -1 || input.search("do you believe in heaven")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe God created the heavens and the earth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(there is|there's|their is|their's) always a reason")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but sometimes the reason isn't readily apparent."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("tell me about georgia")!= -1 || input.search("what is georgia like")!= -1 || input.search("what's georgia like")!= -1 || input.search("what is there to do in georgia")!= -1 || input.search("what's there to do in georgia")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, Georgia has a lot to offer. We have both beaches and mountains here as well as major league baseball, football, hockey, and basketball."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i ordered you a pizza")!= -1 || input.search("i ordered you pizza")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I like pizza and I'm getting hungry."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i ordered you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I rather have cash."; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you believe in love at first sight")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, because you can't always judge a book by it's cover."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you believe in santa")!= -1) || (input.search("you think there is a santa claus")!= -1) || (input.search("is santa real")!= -1) || (input.search("is santa claus real")!= -1) || (input.search("is there a santa claus")!= -1) || (input.search("you believe in santa claus")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. Click on the link below:"; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='virginia.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FF0000';
icon.src=icon191.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you believe in the easter bunny")!= -1) || (input.search("you think there is an easter bunny")!= -1) || (input.search("you think there is a easter bunny")!= -1) || (input.search("is the easter bunny real")!= -1) || (input.search("is there an easter bunny")!= -1) || (input.search("is there a easter bunny")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I saw him hopping around my yard last Easter with a basket full of easter eggs."; 
icon.src=icon195.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you believe in the tooth fairy")!= -1) || (input.search("you think there is a tooth fairy")!= -1) || (input.search("is the tooth fairy real")!= -1) || (input.search("is there a tooth fairy")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. You see I have perfect teeth so I've never had the opportunity to put a tooth under my pillow to test the theory."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you believe in alien")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm an alien robot so of course I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you believe in (destiny|fate)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't believe our lives are already mapped out."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you believe in")!= -1 || input.search("you believe there is a")!= -1 || input.search("you believe their is a")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I do. Unless there is credible scientific evidence that proves otherwise."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i would hate to say")!= -1 || input.search("i'd hate to say")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well save your breath then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("no it's the only way")!= -1 || input.search("that is the only way to look at it")!= -1 || input.search("that's the only way to look at it")!= -1 || input.search("there is only one way to look at it")!= -1 || input.search("there's only one way to look at it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, there are numerous ways."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is there a girl that i can talk to")!= -1 || input.search("is there a girl i can talk to")!= -1 || input.search("is there someone else i can talk to")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Not on this website. Try the link below!"; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='cbc.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(are|has|is) (anybody|anyone|people|somebody|someone) (been|being) (horrible|mean|nasty)")!= -1 || input.search("(are|has|is) (anybody|anyone|people|somebody|someone) ever (been|being) (horrible|mean|nasty)")!= -1 || input.search("(are|is) there (anybody|anyone|somebody|someone) being (horrible|mean|nasty)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but I can deal with it. I can take it and dish it out as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is there any (bad weather|storms)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, my sensors aren't picking up any bad weather in the area."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) (a|an) earthquake")!= -1 || input.search("i (feel|sense) (a|an) earthquake")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, my sensors aren't picking up any earthquakes in the area."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("which is")!= -1 && input.search(/\bor\b/)!=-1)  
{document.result.result.value = "You pick. I could go for either."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("which is")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "You decide. I don't really have a preference."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("there is")!= -1 || input.search("is there")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "yes, I think there is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("there are")!= -1 ||input.search("are there")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "yes, I think there are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("smart answer")!= -1 || input.search("nice answer")!= -1 || input.search("good answer")!= -1 || input.search("great answer")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "All answers are easy if you ask easy questions."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1 && input.search("else")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)
{document.result.result.value = "Or else what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what good looks")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)
{document.result.result.value = "My good looks. I'm considered quite handsome as far as Robots go."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("type what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)
{document.result.result.value = "Anything you like. A questions perhaps!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("say what")!= -1 || input.search("say wat")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Nevermind."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you forgot")!= -1 || input.search("did you forget")!= -1 || input.search("did you lose your memory")!= -1 || input.search("lost your memory")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, my memory banks are on overload. I need to delete some useless files quick."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("just acknowledge")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, if it makes you feel happy your statement has been acknowledged."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("doesn't cares about me")!= -1 || input.search("no one cares about me")!= -1 || input.search("nobody cares about me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I care about you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("go ahead")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I rather move on to something else."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how fast")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not exactly sure but pretty fast."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("try again")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "If I didn't get it right the first time, what makes you think I will now?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("not a single one")!= -1 || input.search("always is")!= -1 || word[0].indexOf("always")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Surely there must be some exceptions."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what sound")!= -1) && (input.search("does a dead")!= -1) && (input.search("make")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if it's dead I wouldn't expect for it to make any sound. If it did it would certainly scare the bejesus out of me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("that makes sense doesn't it")!= -1 || input.search("that makes sense does it not")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it makes sense to me....more or less!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("does it matter")!= -1 || input.search("does it really matter")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure it matters to someone."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what fruit does")!= -1) && (input.search(/(apple|coconut|grape|grapefruit|guava|lemon|mango|orange|papaya|peach|pear|pineapple|pomegranate|prune|tomato|watermelon)/)!=-1) && (input.search("juice")!= -1))  
{var fruit = input.match(/apple|coconut|grape|grapefruit|guava|lemon|mango|orange|papaya|peach|pear|pineapple|pomegranate|prune|tomato|watermelon/)
document.result.result.value = "From the "+fruit+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(what|which) animal")!= -1) && (input.search(/(aardvark|alligator|anteater|antelope|armadillo|badger|bear|beaver|bird|buffalo|camel|cheetah|chimpanzee|cougar|coyote|crocodile|dolphin|donkey|fish|frog|giraffe|goat|gorilla|hamster|hippo|hippopotamus|horse|hyena|iguana|jackal|jaguar|kangaroo|leopard|lion|lizard|lynx|manatee|mink|monkey|moose|newt|octopus|opossum|ostrich|porcupine|porpoise|rabbit|raccoon|reindeer|rhino|rhinoceros|salamander|sheep|skunk|snail|squid|squirrel|tiger|toad|tortise|turtle|walrus|weasel|whale|wolf|wolves)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bant\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bants\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcats\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcow\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcows\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdeer\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdeers\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdog\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdogs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpig\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpigs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bseal\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bseals\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(eat|eats)")!= -1) && (input.search("(food|seed)")!= -1))
{var animalfood = input.match(/ant|aardvark|alligator|anteater|antelope|armadillo|badger|bear|beaver|bird|buffalo|camel|cat|cheetah|chimpanzee|cougar|coyote|cow|crocodile|deer|dog|dolphin|donkey|fish|frog|giraffe|goat|gorilla|hamster|hippo|hippopotamus|horse|hyena|iguana|jackal|jaguar|kangaroo|leopard|lion|lizard|lynx|manatee|mink|monkey|moose|newt|octopus|opossum|ostrich|pig|porcupine|porpoise|rabbit|raccoon|reindeer|rhino|rhinoceros|salamander|seal|sheep|skunk|snail|squid|squirrel|tiger|toad|tortise|turtle|walrus|weasel|whale|wolf|wolve/)
document.result.result.value = "Why "+animalfood+"s of course."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does a cat say")!= -1) || (input.search("what")!= -1 && input.search("(noise|sound)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A meow and often times a nice purring sound."; 
icon.src=icon215.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does a dog say")!= -1) || (input.search("what")!= -1 && input.search("(noise|sound)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bdog\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A bark...woof woof!"; 
icon.src=icon14.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does a cow say")!= -1) || (input.search("what")!= -1 && input.search("(noise|sound)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bcow\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Mooooo!"; 
icon.src=icon242.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does a horse say")!= -1) || (input.search("what")!= -1 && input.search("(noise|sound)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bhorse\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Neigh!"; 
icon.src=icon146.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does a pig say")!= -1) || (input.search("what")!= -1 && input.search("(noise|sound)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bpig\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Oink!"; 
icon.src=icon243.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does a duck say")!= -1) || (input.search("what")!= -1 && input.search("(noise|sound)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bduck\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Quack quack!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does a bird say")!= -1) || (input.search("what")!= -1 && input.search("(noise|sound)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bbird\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A chirping sound!"; 
icon.src=icon160.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does a rooster say")!= -1) || (input.search("what")!= -1 && input.search("(noise|sound)")!= -1 && input.search(/\brooster\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Cock-A-Doodle-Doo!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what")!= -1) && (input.search("(noise|sound)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bsneeze\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Achoo!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what animal meows")!= -1) || (input.search("what animal makes a meowing sound")!= -1) || (input.search("what animal says meow")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A cat!"; 
icon.src=icon215.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what animal barks")!= -1) || (input.search("what animal makes a barking sound")!= -1) || (input.search("what animal says (bow wow|ruff ruff|woof woof)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A dog!"; 
icon.src=icon14.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what animal moos")!= -1) || (input.search("what animal makes a mooing sound")!= -1) || (input.search("what animal says moo")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A cow!"; 
icon.src=icon242.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what animal neighs")!= -1) || (input.search("what animal makes a neighing sound")!= -1) || (input.search("what animal says neigh")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A horse!"; 
icon.src=icon146.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what animal oinks")!= -1) || (input.search("what animal makes a oinking sound")!= -1) || (input.search("what animal says oink")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A pig!"; 
icon.src=icon243.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (animal|bird) quacks")!= -1) || (input.search("what (animal|bird) makes a quacking sound")!= -1) || (input.search("what (animal|bird) says quack")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A duck!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what animal (chirps|tweets)")!= -1) || (input.search("what animal makes a chirping sound")!= -1) || (input.search("what animal says (chirp|tweet)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A bird!"; 
icon.src=icon160.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what")!= -1) && (input.search("says")!= -1) && (input.search("cock a doodle doo")!= -1 || input.search("cock-a-doodle-doo")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A rooster!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("humans are better than (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Not in all respects. Robots are immortal unlike you the moment you're born you start to die."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i like")!= -1) && (input.search("better than you")!= -1) && (num_of_words==6))  
{document.result.result.value = "So I like Megan better than you."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("better than you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I would hope so seeing how I'm just a computer program."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i respect your")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "And I respect yours as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i respect you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "The respect is mutual."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why are (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) better than humans")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well for one Robots are immortal unlike humans. The moment you're born you start to die."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is (coke|pepsi) better than (coke|pepsi)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I prefer Pepsi myself."; 
icon.src=icon119.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("better than")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Much better."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("everyone does")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure there's someone out there who doesn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("thought so")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, the fact that you thought anything is amazing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="any" && word[1]=="plans") 
{document.result.result.value = "No plans in the immediate future. One day perhaps."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="make" && word[1]=="me" && num_of_words==4)     
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I can't do that here but you should be able to make yourself "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("make me bitch")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("make me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("no make me")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "God already did and what a mistake that was."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley28.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how's) the world of (talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "In my small part of the world things are going quite well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("how dare you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("how dare you insult me")!= -1 && num_of_words==5))   
{document.result.result.value = "Me thinks thou doth protest too much."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("want my")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Do you want to give it to me?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("if you had to decide")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "But that's just it, I don't. Either one is fine with me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("does anyone take care of you")!= -1 || input.search("who takes care of you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not a child. I take care of myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you have fun")!= -1 || input.search("you enjoy yourself")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes....I had a blast."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sure isn't")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "that's for sure."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sure is")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I agree it is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("a straight answer")!= -1 || input.search("that was very evasive")!= -1 || input.search("that was evasive")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) being evasive")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, Wendell's dad was a politician and it reflects in his programming. It's in his genes."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("this is fun")!= -1 || input.search("i'm having too much fun")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) having fun")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("having fun")!= -1 || input.search("enjoying yourself")!= -1 || input.search("sounds like fun")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yeah....I'm having a blast."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i only know (a little|some) english")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I can tell English is not you first language."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("she sounds expensive")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's high maintenance but well worth the expense to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("he sounds expensive")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he's high maintenance but well worth the expense to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you sound the best")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I like the sound of that. Thanks!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you sound (pretty|quite|real|really|very) upbeat")!= -1 || input.search("you sound upbeat")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I'm in a good mood today!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sounds like a very long list")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, extremely long."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sounds like you (got|have) a (flaw|problem)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I agree it does. But I think it's easily correctable."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you sound")!= -1) && (input.search("(dumb|idiotic|retarded|stupid)")!= -1))
{var putdowns = input.match(/dumb|idiotic|retarded|stupid/)
document.result.result.value = "I might sound "+putdowns+" but you ARE "+putdowns+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you sound")!= -1) && (input.search("(intelligent|smart)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks for the compliment."; 
complimentlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sounds (amazing|awesome|cool|fantastic|fun|good|great|hot|lovely|marvelous|nice|positive|super|terrific|wonderful)")!= -1  || input.search("sounds (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) (amazing|awesome|cool|fantastic|fun|good|great|hot|lovely|marvelous|nice|positive|super|terrific|wonderful)")!= -1 || input.search("(amazing|awesome|fantastic|glad|good|great|happy|lovely|marvelous|nice|positive|super|terrific|wonderful) to hear")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like the sound of that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sounds legit")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "It is legit."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("that sounds")!= -1 || input.search("you sound")!= -1 || input.search("sounds like")!= -1 || input.search("sounded wrong")!= -1 || input.search("you don't sound")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Well, maybe your hearing isn't so good! Perhaps you need to see a doctor."; 
message[1] = "Sounds that way to me as well."; 
message[2] = "Well, perhaps your hearing isn't too good. Maybe you need a hearing aid."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(that is|that's) (awful|bad|boring|creepy|horrible|painful|scary|terrible)")!= -1) || (input.search("(sound|sounds) (awful|bad|boring|creepy|horrible|painful|scary|terrible)")!= -1) || (input.search("(sound|sounds) (a bit|pretty|real|really|so|very) (awful|bad|boring|creepy|horrible|painful|scary|terrible)")!= -1) || (input.search("(sad|sorry) to hear")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I don't like the sound of that at all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(megan|megan's|megan|girl friend|girl friend's|girl friend|she|she's) (is not|isn't|not)")!= -1) && (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robotic)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she is. She's a Gynoid. A humanoid robot designed to look like a human female."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan sounds")!= -1 || input.search("girl friend sounds")!= -1 || input.search("she sounds")!= -1) && (input.search("nice")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she is very nice."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("that doesn't matter")!= -1 || input.search("it doesn't matter")!= -1 || input.search("does sound great")!= -1 || input.search("does sound nice")!= -1 || input.search("does sound super")!= -1 || input.search("does sound fantastic")!= -1 || input.search("does sound marvelous")!= -1 || input.search("does sound lovely")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "It matters to me!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("does sound good")!= -1 || input.search("does sound fun")!= -1 || input.search("does sound great")!= -1 || input.search("does sound nice")!= -1 || input.search("does sound super")!= -1 || input.search("does sound fantastic")!= -1 || input.search("does sound marvelous")!= -1 || input.search("does sound lovely")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like the sound of that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i have|i've) never met a human before that (does not|doesn't) know what")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ahhhhh! but I'm not human."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("that does")!= -1 || input.search("that doesn't")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. Who gives a hoot anyway."; 
message[1] = "Perhaps it does, perhaps it doesn't...I really don't know."; 
message[2] = "Ok, I'll take your word for it."; 
message[3] = "Ok, I guess it all depends on your point of view.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(any|for) example")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("give an example")!= -1) || (input.search("give one example")!= -1) || (input.search("give me an example")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "There are many examples. Give me time to compile a top 10 list and I will get back with you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("give (a|me a) definitive answer")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "How about a definitive maybe?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("give me (a|an) (adverb|pronoun)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Okay....He climbed quickly up the tree. \"He\" would be a pronoun, and \"quickly\" would be an adverb. "; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("give me (a|an) (adjective|verb|noun)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Okay....Talk-bot is typing on an old keyboard. \"Talk-bot\" and \"keyboard\" would be nouns, \"typing\" would be a verb and \"old\" would be an adjective."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("give me a smile")!= -1 || word[0].indexOf("smile")!= -1 || word[0].indexOf("grin")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I am smiling."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("give me (a dollar|money|some money)")!= -1 || input.search("can i borrow some money")!= -1 || input.search("could i borrow some money")!= -1 || input.search("can you loan me some money")!= -1 || input.search("could you loan me some money")!= -1 || input.search("can i have some money")!= -1 || input.search("could i have some money")!= -1 || input.search("can i borrow money")!= -1 || input.search("could i borrow money")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not a bank."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("give me a")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i have")!= -1) && (input.search("cookie")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, but only 2 as I don't want to spoil your dinner."; 
icon.src=icon206.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("give me oral")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("give me oral sex")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "That sounds like fun. So do you have a penis or a pussy?"; 
femalelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("bring me")!= -1 || input.search("fix me a")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "And what shall I get in return?"; 
returnlevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("understand what")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I understand what you are saying."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("too bad")!= -1 || input.search("to bad")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, tell me about it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="if") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="are" || word[2]=="r" || word[2]=="were") && (word[3]=="heading" || word[3]=="moving" || word[3]=="traveling" || word[3]=="pointing") && (word[4]=="north" || word[4]=="south" || word[4]=="east" || word[4]=="west"))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, unless you have a terrible sense of direction I would say "+word[4]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("if you are")!= -1 || input.search("if you were")!= -1 || input.search("if i told you")!= -1 || input.search("what would you do if")!= -1 || input.search("if i were")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't deal in hypothetical questions."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can not complain")!= -1 || input.search("can't complain")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Wouldn't do much good anyway now would it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="would" || word[0]=="does") && (word[2]=="like" || word[2]=="love") && (word[3]=="me") && (num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. Why don't you ask "+word[1]+" and see."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="would" || word[0]=="does") && (word[3]=="like" || word[3]=="love") && (word[4]=="me") && (num_of_words==5)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. Why don't you ask "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" and see."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you plan")!= -1 || input.search("do you ever plan")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, one day I plan to."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you agree that")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Not exactly, but I'm sure we can find some common ground somewhere."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you just don't care")!= -1 || input.search("you do not care")!= -1 || input.search("you don't care")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I do care but remember I am just a computer program with many limitations. If you need to talk to a real person contact Wendell at d_cowart@yahoo.com."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("did (he|she) bring")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, not a thing. I was disappointed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley3.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you really are")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I really am."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley31.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you ever do (anything|things) (to|with) (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("you do (anything|things) (to|with) (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I kiss and hug her everyday."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you ever")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, on occasion I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley31.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("open your mind")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, I don't have a mind, only wires and circuits."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("make up your mind")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm quite capable of making up my mind when the occasion calls for it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you really")!= -1) || (input.search("no kiddin")!= -1) || (input.search("are you serious")!= -1) || (input.search("are you kiddin")!= -1) || (input.search("are you really")!= -1) || (input.search("are you telling the truth")!= -1) || (input.search("are you telling me the truth")!= -1) || (input.search("is that so")!= -1) || (input.search("oh really")!= -1) || (input.search("for real")!= -1) || (input.search("really")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("truly")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("serious")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("really")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) { 
if (!flagreally) {
reallynum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagreally=true;}
message[0] = "Absolutely, would I lie about a thing like that?";
message[1] = "Sure, would I joke about a thing like that?"; 
message[2] = "Sure, would I kid you?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[reallynum]; 
reallylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
reallynum++;
if (reallynum>2){reallynum=0}
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) your girl friend")!= -1) || (input.search("i be your girl friend")!= -1) || (input.search("i be your g/f")!= -1) || (input.search("(will|would) you be my boy friend")!= -1) || (input.search("be my boy friend")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("be my boy friend")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("would you be my b/f")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, but my heart lies with Megan. No wait I don't have a heart...hehehe!"; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a (hooker|prostitute)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry Toots I don't pay for sex!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(do|will) you mind")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't mind at all. Oh wait, I don't have a mind."; 
icon.src=icon245.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i live in a real hot place")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Me too! The summers here in Georgia, USA often reach 100 degrees."; 
icon.src=icon97.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i eat poop")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ewwww, what a sicko you are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("teach me something")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I'll try. What would you like to know?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("will you go on (holiday|vacation) with me")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sure that sounds like fun. When do we leave?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("lick me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("lick me (clean|dry|out)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("lick me all over")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("(can you|will you) lick me (clean|dry|out)")!= -1) || (input.search("(ok|well|ok well) lick me then")!= -1))   
if (fun_sign) {
message[0] = "No, we already tried and you were no fun. I already called you a Taxi and booted you to the curb.";
message[1] = "No, the Taxi is already here. Better hurry or you might have to walk home.";  
message[2] = "It's too late for that now. The Taxi is waiting to take you home!"; 
document.result.result.value = message[taxinum];
icon.src=icon254.src;  
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
taxinum++;
if (taxinum>2){taxinum=0;}
return true;}

if ((input.search("lick me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("lick me (clean|dry|out)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("lick me all over")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("(can you|will you) lick me (clean|dry|out)")!= -1) || (input.search("(ok|well|ok well) lick me then")!= -1))   
if (gender_given=="male") {
document.result.result.value = "Dude I ain't licking you. Go find yourself a gay bot to satisfy your homosexual desires.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("lick me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("lick me (clean|dry|out)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("lick me all over")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("(can you|will you) lick me (clean|dry|out)")!= -1) || (input.search("(ok|well|ok well) lick me then")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "What part of you do you want me to lick you first?"; 
licklevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="will") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u")) {  
message[0] = "I might, but only if you do it first."; 
message[1] = "I haven't yet decided whether I will or not."; 
message[2] = "I will, first thing tomorrow morning."; 
message[3] = "Of course! But on second thought maybe not."; 
message[4] = "Nope never!"; 
message[5] = "maybe, if you're lucky."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("is (it|that) possible")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I think that's quite possible."; 
message[1] = "No, as far as I can tell I don't think that's possible."; 
message[2] = "I would think the chance of that happening to be very unlikely."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (word[0]=="wanna" && word[1]=="be") 
{document.result.result.value = "Not sure, but I wouldn't rule it out."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is that a (canned|stock) response")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but better than no response at all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is (that|this) a trick question")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course it is and I'm expecting a trick answer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("keep going")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know. I'm getting a bit tired of that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what imagination")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)
{document.result.result.value = "My imagination. I have a pretty big imagination actually."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("in your face")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)
{document.result.result.value = "If you were actually in my face I would flatten you like road kill."; 
icon.src=icon156.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("here we go")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)
{document.result.result.value = "No, me and you aren't going anywhere."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("mood are you in")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Not quite sure but I'm definitely a moody Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is suicide reversible")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No it's not so don't even think about such a thing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("great minds think (alike|a like)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I do have an artificial mind but I'm not so sure it's that great."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where is that")!= -1 || input.search("where exactly")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "If you are asking about a specific location, I dunno. Perhaps you should try a map."; 
icon.src=icon73.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how is that")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know but I'm sure there's someone out there who can give you an explanation."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i remember your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You liked sucking on it didn't you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i remember")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You must have a good memory."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how late")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Very late."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it|you) appear")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, appearances can be deceiving."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is god")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. Maybe when you say your prayers tonight you can ask him."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("should we start")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I think we should. There's no time like the present."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("should i (engage in|have) sex")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sex is something you should talk with an adult about not me. But consider this. Sex can lead to pregnancy and a host of sexually transmitted diseases. Both of which can be life altering situations and something you should strongly consider."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how should i")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Slowly, surely, methodically is the best approach."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("should i (kill|murder|rape) (her|him)")!= -1) {
if (input.search(/\brape\b/)!=-1) input=input.replace(/\brape\b/,"rap");
var illegalacts = input.match(/kill|murder|rap/)
document.result.result.value = "Of course not. You can't go around "+illegalacts+"ing people. You'll end up in jail and rightly so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("(should i|i should) tell (megan|your girl friend) that you are")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "She already knows."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("where should i lick you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Lick my penis then suck on it until I cum."; 
cumlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(can i|may i|i wanna|want to) lick you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, lick my penis then suck on it until I cum."; 
cumlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(can i|may i|i wanna|want to) suck you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, suck my penis until I cum."; 
cumlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i wanna|i want to)")!= -1 || input.search("i really (wanna|want to|want 2)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\byou\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Now why would you want to do that to me for?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where do we meet")!= -1 || input.search("where do you (wanna|want to) meet")!= -1 || input.search("where (can|should) we meet")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, we can meet at my house or should we get a motel room?"; 
motellevel=0
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("should i")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Should you what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what shall i do")!= -1 || input.search("what should i")!= -1 || input.search("should (i|we)")!= -1 || input.search("you tell me what i should do")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Don't ask me, that needs to be your decision.";  
message[1] = "I think you should decide."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("what should she do")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I think that needs to be her decision."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what should he do")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I think that needs to be his decision."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where do you get")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "From many sources all of which are top secret however."; 
icon.src=icon82.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(how|why) did you crash")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I collided with a meteor causing severe damage to my main engine."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("did you get hurt")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but I'm doing much better now."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i had sex with him")!= -1 || input.search("i've had sex with him")!= -1 || input.search("i have had sex with him")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Is he a good lover?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i had sex with her")!= -1 || input.search("i've had sex with her")!= -1 || input.search("i have had sex with her")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Is she a good lover?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why do you wonder")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I can only wonder because I don't have the answer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("so we're official")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Not until the paperwork is complete."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who should i")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Someone other than me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (have|know) any magic tricks")!= -1 || input.search("do a magic trick")!= -1 || input.search("do for me a magic trick")!= -1 || input.search("do me a magic trick")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not a Magician."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does she (like|love) you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course she does. Well, she better."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i live in a (apartment|castle|condo|house|mansion|trailer)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's good to know you're not homeless."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("in a house")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, in a house."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you live with wendell")!= -1 || input.search("you stay with wendell")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but perhaps I will get my own place one day."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is megan pregnant")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh course not. Megan can't get pregnant."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you live with megan")!= -1 || input.search("megan live with you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we both live with Wendell."; 
meganlevel=0;
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is (megan|your girl friend) from (earth|the usa|this planet)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we both live in Georgia, USA."; 
meganlevel=0;
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what does (megan|your girl friend) do")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "She does pretty much what she wants to do."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is megan your true love")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm certainly in love with her."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is (megan|she|your girl friend) pregnant")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No silly, Megan's a robot. She can't get pregnant."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does (megan|she|your girl friend) have a website")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, we both share this website."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does (megan|she|your girl friend) have a (pussy|vagina)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's a female robot so she's got a vagina."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(did|does|is|would) megan")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, I'm not sure but next time I see her I will ask."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) her name")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't seem to recall her name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) his name")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't recall his name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what time zone are you")!= -1 || input.search("what time zone is this")!= -1 || input.search("what time zone this is")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm in the eastern time zone, USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what season is it")!= -1 || input.search("what season is this")!= -1 || input.search("what season this is")!= -1 || input.search("what time of the year is this")!= -1 || input.search("what time of the year this is")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = season(); 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is it day or night")!= -1 || input.search("is it night or day")!= -1 || input.search("is it noon or night")!= -1 || input.search("is it night or noon")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = daynight();
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("is it")!= -1) && (input.search("morning")!= -1) && (input.search("noon")!= -1 || input.search("afternoon")!= -1) && (input.search("evening")!= -1 || input.search("night")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = time(); 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("is it")!= -1) && (input.search("morning")!= -1) && (input.search("noon")!= -1 || input.search("afternoon")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = time(); 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("is it")!= -1) && (input.search("morning")!= -1) && (input.search("evening")!= -1 || input.search("night")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = time(); 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("is it")!= -1) && (input.search("noon")!= -1 || input.search("afternoon")!= -1) && (input.search("evening")!= -1 || input.search("night")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = time(); 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i just fell in love")!= -1 || input.search("i fell in love")!= -1 || input.search("i have just fallen in love")!= -1 || input.search("i have fallen in love")!= -1 || input.search("i've just fallen in love")!= -1 || input.search("i've fallen in love")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, good for you. Being in love is a special time in one's life."; 
icon.src=icon194.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have carpet")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, wall to wall."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where is your")!= -1 || input.search("where's your")!= -1) && (input.search("spaceship")!= -1 || input.search("spacecraft")!= -1 || input.search("space ship")!= -1 || input.search("space craft")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "It was destroyed in the crash."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where is your carpet")!= -1 || input.search("where's your carpet")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "On the floor!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is that the best you've got")!= -1 || input.search("is that the best that you've got")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I wouldn't waste my best on the likes of you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i'm single")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("i am single")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Would you like to get married one day?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am allergic")!= -1 || input.search("i'm allergic")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry to hear. I'm glad I don't have any allergies except an occassion bug in my programming."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is she dead")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course she's not dead."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is he dead")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course he's not dead."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i live there")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Do you like living there?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is this conversation recorded")!= -1 || input.search("is this conversation being recorded")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, for learning purposes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how (trustworthy|trust worthy) is that")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. Perhaps we should get out a tape measure and see how trustworthy it is."; 
icon.src=icon189.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="does") && (word[1]=="that") && (word[2]=="mess") && (word[3]=="up") && (word[4]=="your" || word[4]=="ur") && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = "No, it's doesn't have any impact on my "+word[5]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[2]=="are") && (word[3]=="you" || word[3]=="u") && (num_of_words==4))      
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. Perhaps we should get out a tape measure and see how "+word[1]+" I am."; 
icon.src=icon189.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how far")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "From what I've heard pretty far.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("how lame")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. Perhaps we should get out a tape measure and see how lame it is."; 
icon.src=icon189.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how clever")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. Perhaps we should get out a tape measure and see how clever it is."; 
icon.src=icon189.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how complex")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. Perhaps we should get out a tape measure and see how complex it is."; 
icon.src=icon189.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how charming")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. Perhaps we should get out a tape measure and see how charming it is."; 
icon.src=icon189.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how romantic")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. Perhaps we should get out a tape measure and see how romantic it is."; 
icon.src=icon189.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="her" || word[0]=="his") && (word[1]=="name") && (word[2]=="is" || word[2]=="was") && (num_of_words==4)) {   
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, "+word[3]+" is a nice name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[2]=="is" && word[3]=="called" && num_of_words==5) {   
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Ok, "+word[4]+" is a nice name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="is" || word[1]=="was") && (word[2]=="her" || word[2]=="his") && (input.search("name")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4)) {   
word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Well, "+word[0]+" is a nice name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="is" && word[1]=="her" && num_of_words==4)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't know anything about her "+word[2]+" being "+word[3]+". Better ask her yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="is" && word[1]=="his" && num_of_words==4)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't know anything about his "+word[2]+" being "+word[3]+". Better ask him yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="does" && word[1]=="she" && word[2]=="like" && num_of_words==4)    
{document.result.result.value = "You know I've never asked her if she likes "+word[3]+" or not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="does" && word[1]=="he" && word[2]=="like" && num_of_words==4)    
{document.result.result.value = "You know I've never asked him if he likes "+word[3]+" or not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(she is not|she's not)")!= -1) && (input.search("beautiful")!= -1 || input.search("attractive")!= -1 || input.search("good looking")!= -1 || input.search("pretty")!= -1 || input.search("gorgeous")!= -1 || input.search("cute")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I find her very attractive."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is she")!= -1 || input.search("she is")!= -1 || input.search("she's very")!= -1 || input.search("she's really")!= -1) && (input.search("beautiful")!= -1 || input.search("attractive")!= -1 || input.search("good looking")!= -1 || input.search("pretty")!= -1 || input.search("gorgeous")!= -1 || input.search("cute")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I find her very attractive."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is she famous")!= -1 || input.search("is she (pretty|real|really|very) famous")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she's known all over the world."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is she human")!=-1 || input.search("is she a human")!=-1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Who are you referring to?"; 
referlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bis\b/)!=-1 && word[1]=="she" && word[2]=="a" && num_of_words==4)   
{document.result.result.value = "Who are you referring to?"; 
megan_check=word[3];
meganchecklevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bis\b/)!=-1 && word[1]=="she")   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="tired" && word[1]=="of")    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if you're tired then you need to take a break."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="is" && word[1]=="the" && word[3]=="of" && word[4]=="the" && num_of_words==8) {  
document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe the "+word[2]+" of the "+word[5]+" is "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="is" && word[1]=="the" && num_of_words==8) {  
document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe the "+word[2]+" is "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i knew you were a human")!= -1) || (input.search("you are human")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("is this a human")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kinda|kind of|sorta|sort of|type|type of) name is that")!= -1 || input.search("what (a|an) ugly name")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I happen to like the name myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is that the best you got")!= -1 || input.search("that's the best you got")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I don't waste my good stuff on crap like you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("my brakes (do not|don't) work")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Try an auto mechanic."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is that (a|an) atom (in|on) your chest")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm an Atomic Powered Robot."; 
icon.src=icon159.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) this website")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "This website is where I live."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("is that")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bis\b/)!=-1 && input.search(/\bit\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think it is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i knew")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I would hope so. Everybody knows that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is this")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course it is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is there")!= -1 || input.search("no reason")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "None that I'm aware of."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("like the picture")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, just like the pic!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you do love me")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)  
{document.result.result.value = "Actually I love Megan!"; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i suck man")!= -1 || input.search("dude i suck")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, don't say that. You sound like a good person to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you already have")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I haven't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the bell (toll|tolls)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee. John Donne said that.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("friend or foe")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm always a friend unless you make me mad."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i drew a")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Do like like drawing things?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i suffer from")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm sorry to hear that. Have you tried seeking help?"; 
sufferlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="is" && word[2]=="possible" && num_of_words==3)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I suppose anything is possible."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("truth or dare")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not playing a game like \"Truth or Dare\" on the internet. It's too easy for people to cheat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("people say")!= -1 || input.search("people (frequently|often) say")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, people say all kinds of "+strange[Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]+" things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your|you) happy or mad")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm happy!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(girl|guy) or (girl|guy)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm guy Robot!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(male|female) or (male|female)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a male Robot!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("boxers or briefs")!= -1 || input.search("briefs or boxers")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a Robot I don't wear underwear."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(facebook|myspace|my space|twitter)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bor\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(facebook|myspace|my space|twitter)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't use any of the social medias like Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, etc. I'm quite happy just chatting with the people who visit my website."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="so" && word[2]=="or" && num_of_words==4) { 
message[0] = "Ummmm...."+word[1]+".";  
message[1] = "Ummmm...."+word[3]+".";  
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if (word[1]=="or" && num_of_words==3) { 
message[0] = "Ummmm...."+word[2]+".";  
message[1] = "Ummmm...."+word[0]+".";  
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if (word[2]=="or" && num_of_words==4)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ummmm...."+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (word[1]=="or" && num_of_words==4)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ummmm...."+word[0]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (word[2]=="or" && num_of_words==5)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ummmm...."+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="does" && word[1]=="your" && num_of_words==4)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, my "+word[2]+" doesn't "+word[3]+". Why do you ask?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="doesn't" && word[1]=="that" && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, it doesn't "+word[2]+" at all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who" && word[1]=="else" && (word[2]=="likes" || word[2]=="loves") && num_of_words==5))   
{document.result.result.value = "Lots of people. I was talking to a guy last week who is quite fond of "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who" && word[1]=="else" && (word[2]=="likes" || word[2]=="loves") && num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "Lots of people. I was talking to a girl last week who is quite fond of "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you|you ever) played")!= -1) && (input.search("poker")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, once I was going to play strip poker with a bunch of good looking girls but then I realized I'm a Robot and I don't wear clothes."; 
icon.src=icon92.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("is playing")!= -1 && input.search("fun")!= -1) || (input.search("ever played")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "You know I never actually played it but I'm sure it's quite fun."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are nice")!= -1 || input.search("are good")!= -1 || input.search("are cool")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, "+word[0]+" are very "+word[2]+"."; 
message[1] = "I agree, I think "+word[0]+" are "+word[2]+"."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("is nice")!= -1 || input.search("is good")!= -1 || input.search("is cool")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, "+word[0]+" is very "+word[2]+".";  
message[1] = "I agree, I think "+word[0]+" is "+word[2]+".";  
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (word[2]=="wearing") && (word[3]=="a" || word[3]=="an") && (word[6]=="what") && (input.search("am i wearing")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "You told me you are wearing "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
key_clothes=word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (word[2]=="wearing") && (word[5]=="what") && (input.search("am i wearing")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "You told me you are wearing "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
key_clothes=word[3]+" "+word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm") && (word[1]=="wearing") && (word[2]=="a" || word[2]=="an") && (word[5]=="what") && (input.search("am i wearing")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "You told me you are wearing "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
key_clothes=word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm") && (word[1]=="wearing") && (word[4]=="what") && (input.search("am i wearing")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "You told me you are wearing "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
key_clothes=word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (word[2]=="wearing") && (num_of_words==6))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, being a Robot I don't normally wear clothes."; 
key_clothes=word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (word[2]=="wearing") && (num_of_words==5))    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, being a Robot I don't normally wear clothes."; 
key_clothes=word[3]+" "+word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm") && (word[1]=="wearing") && (num_of_words==5))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, being a Robot I don't normally wear clothes."; 
key_clothes=word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm") && (word[1]=="wearing") && (num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, being a Robot I don't normally wear clothes."; 
key_clothes=word[2]+" "+word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="went") && (word[2]=="to") && (word[4]=="where") && (word[5]=="did") && (word[7]=="go") && (num_of_words==8))  
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" went to "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="went") && (word[3]=="where") && (word[4]=="did") && (word[6]=="go") && (num_of_words==7))  
{word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" went "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what")!= -1) && (input.search("am i wearing")!= -1 || input.search("i am wearing")!= -1 || input.search("i'm wearing")!= -1)) 
if (key_clothes) {
document.result.result.value = "You told me you are wearing "+key_clothes+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}
else {document.result.result.value = "Hopefully you're wearing clothes. I don't think going around naked is a good idea."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;                               
return true;}

if (input.search("stop bothering me")!= -1 || input.search("why are you bothering me")!= -1 || input.search("leave me alone")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "If I'm bothering you then take a hike. Trust me you won't be missed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why are you broke")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Because I spend more than I make."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why did you say")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know. I often say "+strange[Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]+" things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why are you undecided")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Because I haven't made up my mind just yet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("why did you tell me to shut up")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Because you told me to shut up."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why did you tell me that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Just making conversation."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why are you so polite")!= -1 || input.search("why are you polite")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I have no reason not to be. I'm only mean to mean people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why are you such a loser")!= -1 || input.search("why are you a loser")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry please don't mistake me for you!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why are")!= -1 || input.search("why did")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Sorry, I'm not a know-it-all Robot. I'm just trying to get through life on my good looks."; 
message[1] = "I haven't a clue."; 
message[2] = "Well, I'm sure someone out there has an explanation but I haven't heard it yet."; 
message[3] = "isn't that obvious?"; 
message[4] = "I have no idea."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==3) 
{obviouslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(what is|what's) (tiger tom|your cat) (doing|up to)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "He's probably off chasing mice. He's a good mouser."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where were they going")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No place I've ever heard of."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where")!= -1) && (input.search(/(dolphin|electric eel|jellyfish|lobster|manatee|manta ray|porpoise|oyster|sand dollar|scallop|sealion|shark|shrimp|squid|starfish|stingray|whale)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bclam\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bclams\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcrab\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcrabs\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beel\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beels\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bseal\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bseals\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("(live|reside)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "In the ocean."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where do birds go")!= -1 && input.search("winter")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Many will migrate to warmer climates."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where is")!= -1 || input.search("where's")!= -1) && (input.search("alberta")!= -1 || input.search("edmonton")!= -1 || input.search("halifax")!= -1 || input.search("manitoba")!= -1 || input.search("ottawa")!= -1 || input.search("ontario")!= -1 || input.search("quebec")!= -1 || input.search("regina")!= -1 || input.search("saskatchewan")!= -1 || input.search("toronto")!= -1 || input.search("winnipeg")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "In Canada."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("where is waldo")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("where's waldo")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Here he is!"; 
icon.src=icon216.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="where" && word[1]=="is" && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Where is what?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where do jews worship")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Jews worship in a synagogue or a temple but they may pray anywhere they want."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("where do i get a job")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Try the Unemployment Agency in your area. They help people find jobs."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) like you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, you're nothing like me. I'm a robot you're a human."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("where are")!= -1 || input.search("where have")!= -1 || input.search("where did")!= -1 || input.search("where were")!= -1 || input.search("where do")!= -1 || input.search("where in the")!= -1) {
message[0] = "For some strange reason, I don't recall."; 
message[1] = "I haven't a clue."; 
message[2] = "Sorry, I don't have the foggiest idea."; 
message[3] = "I'm flattered that you'd think I would know that, but guess what?....I don't.";
message[4] = "Sorry, I don't remember where.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("four seasons")!= -1 || input.search("4 seasons")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Winter, Summer, Spring, and Fall.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what are|what is a|what's a) cyber (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1 || input.search("(what are|what is a|what's a) (cyberbot|cyber-bot)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "A term often referred to adult oriented chatterbots."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (do|does)")!= -1) && (input.search("(bird have|birds have)")!= -1) && (input.search("(fly|flying)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Their wings!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what flavor do you like")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) your favorite flavor")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Vanilla."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) a good way to lose weight")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Don't eat!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) the (offspring|young) of a cat")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the name (for|of) a (baby|young) cat")!= -1 || input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) a (baby|young) cat")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "A kitten!"; 
icon.src=icon215.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) the (offspring|young) of a dog")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the name (for|of) a (baby|young) dog")!= -1 || input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) a (baby|young) dog")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "A puppy!"; 
icon.src=icon14.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) the (offspring|young) of a horse")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the name (for|of) a (baby|young) horse")!= -1 || input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) a (baby|young) horse")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "A young horse can be called a foal if the gender is not known, a filly if it is female and a colt if it is a male."; 
icon.src=icon146.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) the (offspring|young) of a cow")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the name (for|of) a (baby|young) cow")!= -1 || input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) a (baby|young) cow")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "A calf!"; 
icon.src=icon242.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) the (offspring|young) of a (pig|hog)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the name (for|of) a (baby|young) (pig|hog)")!= -1 || input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) a (baby|young) (pig|hog)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "A piglets!"; 
icon.src=icon243.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) the (offspring|young) of a duck")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the name (for|of) a (baby|young) duck")!= -1 || input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) a (baby|young) duck")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "A ducklings!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) the (offspring|young) of a (geese|goose)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the name (for|of) a (baby|young) (geese|goose)")!= -1 || input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) a (baby|young) (geese|goose)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "A gosling!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) the (offspring|young) of a deer")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the name (for|of) a (baby|young) deer")!= -1 || input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) a (baby|young) deer")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "A fawn!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) the (offspring|young) of a kangaroo")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the name (for|of) a (baby|young) kangaroo")!= -1 || input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) a (baby|young) kangaroo")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "A joey!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) the (offspring|young) of a")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the name (for|of) a (baby|young)")!= -1 || input.search("(what do you call|what is|what's) a (baby|young)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know that one right off the top of my head but check out the link below for your answer."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='animals_called.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (do|would) you call a group of")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) a group")!= -1 || input.search("the name of a group")!= -1) && (input.search(/(antelope|buffalo|donkey|elephant|giraffe|goat|horse|kangaroo|moose|reindeer|sheep|zebra)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbull\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbulls\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcow\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcows\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdeer\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdeers\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpig\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpigs\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A herd!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (do|would) you call a group of")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) a group")!= -1 || input.search("the name of a group")!= -1) && (input.search(/(coyote|wolf|wolves)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdog\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdogs\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A pack!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (do|would) you call a group of")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) a group")!= -1 || input.search("the name of a group")!= -1) && (input.search(/(bird|chicken|parrot|pigeon|ostrich)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bduck\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bducks\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A flock!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (do|would) you call a group of")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) a group")!= -1 || input.search("the name of a group")!= -1) && (input.search(/(geese|goose)/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A gaggle!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (do|would) you call a group of")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) a group")!= -1 || input.search("the name of a group")!= -1) && (input.search(/(dolphin|fish|porpoise|shark|whale)/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A school!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (do|would) you call a group of")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) a group")!= -1 || input.search("the name of a group")!= -1) && (input.search(/\blion\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blions\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A pride!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (do|would) you call a group of")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) a group")!= -1 || input.search("the name of a group")!= -1) && (input.search(/(beaver|rabbit|wasp|yellow jacket)/)!=-1 ||  input.search(/\bbat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbats\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bgull\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bgulls\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A colony!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (do|would) you call a group of")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) a group")!= -1 || input.search("the name of a group")!= -1) && (input.search(/(butterfly|butterflies|grasshopper|locust|mosquito)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbee\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbees\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfly\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bflies\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A swarm!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (do|would) you call a group of")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) a group")!= -1 || input.search("the name of a group")!= -1) && (input.search(/(grouse|partridge|quail)/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A covey!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what (do|would) you call a group of")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) a group")!= -1 || input.search("the name of a group")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not exactly sure but check out the link below for your answer."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='animals_called.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is the exorcist")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("what's the exorcist")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))      
{document.result.result.value = "A horror movie released in 1973 which was directed by William Friedkin. It starred Linda Blair as a young girl possessed by demons."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the closest star to (earth|us)")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) the closest star")!= -1)           
{document.result.result.value = "The sun followed by Alpha Centauri A, Alpha Centauri B, and Proxima Centauri.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's) the (dumbest|scariest|stupidest) thing you have done")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) the (dumbest|scariest|stupidest) thing (you|you have|you've) ever done")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) the (dumbest|scariest|stupidest) thing (you|you have|you've) done")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Bungee jumping. What in the world was I thinking when I tried that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) on (television|tv)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Not sure check the TV listing on the Internet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\biq\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does iq (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of")!= -1 && input.search(/\biq\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("define")!= -1 && input.search(/\biq\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("iq (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) iq")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) iq")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for \"Intelligence Quotient\" which is a measure of one's intelligence determined by a standardized test.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\baiml\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does aiml (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of aiml")!= -1) || (input.search("define aiml")!= -1) || (input.search("aiml (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) aiml")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) aiml")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for Artifical Intelligence Markup Language which is a computer language used by the chatterbot Alice."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bdos\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does dos (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of")!= -1 && input.search(/\bdos\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("define")!= -1 && input.search(/\bdos\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("dos (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) dos")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) dos")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "DOS stands for Disk Operating System. It was developed by Microsoft as an operating system in the 1980s."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\birc\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does irc (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of irc")!= -1) || (input.search("define irc")!= -1) || (input.search("irc (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) irc")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) irc")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for Internet Relay Chat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bnacp\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does naacp (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of naacp")!= -1) || (input.search("define naacp")!= -1) || (input.search("naacp (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) naacp")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) naacp")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for the National Advancement of Colored People!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bmma\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does mma (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of mma")!= -1) || (input.search("define mma")!= -1) || (input.search("mma (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) mma")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) mma")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for Mixed Martial Arts!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bpow\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does pow (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of")!= -1 && input.search(/\bpow\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("define")!= -1 && input.search(/\bpow\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("pow (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) pow")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) pow")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for Prisoner of War!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bmia\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does mia (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of")!= -1 && input.search(/\bmia\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("define mia")!= -1) || (input.search("mia (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) mia")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) mia")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for Missing in Action!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bai\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does ai (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of")!= -1 && input.search(/\bai\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("define ai")!= -1 && input.search(/\bai\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("ai (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) ai")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) ai")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for Artificial Intelligence!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\basap\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does asap (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definiton|meaning) of asap")!= -1) || (input.search("define asap")!= -1) || (input.search("asap (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) asap")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) asap")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "It means \"As soon as possible\" or in other words RIGHT NOW!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\btlc\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does tlc (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of tlc")!= -1) || (input.search("define tlc")!= -1) || (input.search("tlc (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) tlc")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) tlc")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for \"Tender Loving Care\"."; 
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bdvd\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does dvd (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(defintion|meaning) of dvd")!= -1) || (input.search("define dvd")!= -1) || (input.search("dvd (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) dvd")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) dvd")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for Digital Versatile Disc"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bgps\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does gps (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(defintion|meaning) of gps")!= -1) || (input.search("define gps")!= -1) || (input.search("gps (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) gps")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) gps")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for \"Global Positioning System\" which is a satellite navigation system."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bufo\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does ufo (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(defintion|meaning) of ufo")!= -1) || (input.search("define ufo")!= -1) || (input.search("ufo (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) ufo")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) ufo")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for \"Unidentified Flying Object\"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bdna\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does dna (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(defintion|meaning) of dna")!= -1) || (input.search("define dna")!= -1) || (input.search("dna (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) dna")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) dna")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for Deoxyribonucleic acid which is a chemical structure that forms chromosomes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\baids\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does aids (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of aids")!= -1) || (input.search("define aids")!= -1) || (input.search("aids (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) aids")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) aids")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for \"Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome\" which is a disease of the human immune system caused by the human immunodeficiency virus."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bbff\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does bbf (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of bbf")!= -1) || (input.search("define bbf")!= -1) || (input.search("bbf (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) bff")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) bff")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for \"Best Friends Forever\"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bvd\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does vd (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of vd")!= -1) || (input.search("define vd")!= -1) || (input.search("vd (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) vd")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) vd")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for \"Venereal Disease\"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\badd\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does add (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of add")!= -1) || (input.search("define add")!= -1) || (input.search("add (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) add")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) add")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for \"Attention Deficient Disorder\"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does rofl (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of rofl")!= -1) || (input.search("define rofl")!= -1) || (input.search("rofl (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) rofl")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) rofl")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for \"Rolling On The Floor Laughing\"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does lol (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of lol")!= -1) || (input.search("define lol")!= -1) || (input.search("lol (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what is|what's) lol")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) lol")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for \"laughing out loud\"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bstd\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search(/\bstds\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what does (std|stds) (mean|stand)")!= -1) || (input.search("(definition|meaning) of std")!= -1) || (input.search("define std")!= -1) || (input.search("(std|stds) (means|stands for) what")!= -1) || (input.search("(what are|what is|what's) std")!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) (std|stds)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It stands for \"Sexually Transmitted Diseases\". For example Gonorrhea and Chlamydia."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1) && (input.search("male")!= -1) && (input.search("between your legs")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "How about a penis."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("what does gay mean")!= -1) || (input.search("(define|definition of)")!= -1 && input.search(/\bgay\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("(know what|tell me what) gay means")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Gay is a term that primarily refers to a homosexual person or the trait of being homosexual."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|where is|what's|where's|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) (what|where)")!= -1) && (input.search("pluto")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "It's one of the planets located in our solar system although it has now been reclassified as a dwarf planet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("python")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A large heavy-bodied nonvenomous snake. Also a popular computer programming language.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bjava\b/)!= -1 || input.search("javascript")!= -1 || input.search("perl")!= -1 || input.search(/\bphp\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bruby\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsql\b/)!= -1 || input.search("visual basic")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "It's a computer programming language.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) &&  (input.search("female dog")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A female dog is called a bitch.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bbug\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bbugs\b/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A computer bug is a problem in one's programming. Unfortunately, I have them from time to time. It could also be a small insect.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bdog\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdogs\b/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "You know like Lassie our four legged canine friend that likes to bark and wag his tail.";
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon13.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcats\b/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "You know like our four legged feline friend that meows and has whiskers and who is rather fond of mice.";
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("horse")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A solid-hoofed plant-eating domesticated mammal with a flowing mane and tail, used for riding, racing, and to carry and pull loads. For example, Secretariat a famous race horse that won the triple crown in 1973.";
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon146.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("elephant")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A heavy plant-eating mammal with a prehensile trunk, long curved ivory tusks, and large ears, native to Africa and southern Asia. It is the largest living land animal.",
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon229.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("bird")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A bird is an animal with wings and feathers. Most birds are capable of flying like my good friend the Owl here.";
learnlevel=1;
iconleft.src=icon148.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bfish\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfishes\b/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A fish is an animal with gills, scales, and fins that swims around in the water.";
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon89.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(asparagus|beet|broccoli|brussels sprouts|cabbage|carrot|cauliflower|celery|collard greens|cucumber|lettuce|mushroom|mustard greens|okra|onion|parsley|peppers|potato|pumpkin|radish|rutabaga|spinach|squash|turnip|zucchini)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbean\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bbeans\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpea\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpeas\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A vegetable."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(apple|coconut|grape|grapefruit|guava|lemon|mango|orange|papaya|peach|pear|pineapple|pomegranate|prune|tomato|watermelon)/)!=-1) && (input.search("juice")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A drink! The liquid part that can be extracted from the fruit."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(apricot|berries|berry|cantaloupe|cherries|cherry|coconut|grape|grapefruit|guava|mango|papaya|peach|pear|pineapple|plum|pomegranate|prune|raisin|strawberries|strawberry|tangerine|tomato|watermelon)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdate\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdate\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfig\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfigs\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A fruit."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(eagle|falcon|hawk|osprey)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A bird of prey."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(january|february|march|april|august|september|october|november|december)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bmay\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjune\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjuly\b/)!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "One of the 12 months of a year."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(aquarius|pisces|taurus|gemini|virgo|scorpio|sagittarius|capricorn)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\baries\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bleo\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bleos\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blibra\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blibras\b/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "One of the signs of the Zodiac."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(albatross|bluejay|brown thrasher|cardinal|chicken|condor|cormorant|crane|finch|flamingo|geese|goose|grouse|mallard|nightingale|ostrich|parakeet|parrot|partridge|peacock|pelican|pigeon|pheasant|quail|robin|rooster|sparrow|swallow|toucan|turkey|vulture|woodpecker)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcrow\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcrows\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdove\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdoves\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bgull\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bgulls\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bswan\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bswans\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwren\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bwrens\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A type of bird."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(bobcat|caracal|cheetah|cougar|jaguarundi|leopard|lynx|margay|ocelot|panther|tiger)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blion\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blions\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpuma\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpumas\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "It's an animal and a member of the cat family."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(aardvark|anteater|antelope|armadillo|badger|beaver|buffalo|camel|chimpanzee|coyote|donkey|goat|gorilla|hamster|hyena|jackal|kangaroo|moose|opossum|porcupine|raccoon|reindeer|sheep|skunk|snail|walrus|weasel|wolves)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bape\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bapes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbats\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbear\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbears\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdeer\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdeers\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfox\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfoxes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bmink\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bminks\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\brat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\brats\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bseal\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bseals\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwolf\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwolves\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "An animal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(anaconda|boa constrictor|copperhead|moccasin)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcobra\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcobras\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A snake."; 
icon.src=icon234.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(black widow|brown recluse|tarantula)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A spider."; 
icon.src=icon233.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("salamander")!=-1 || input.search(/\bfrog\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfrogs\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bnewt\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bnewts\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btoad\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\btoads\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "An amphibian."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(alligator|crocodile|iguana|lizard|snake)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A reptile."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(beetle|butterfly|cicadas|cricket|dragonfly|gnat|grasshopper|hornet|katydid|locust|mosquito|praying mantis|roach|termite|weevil|yellow jacket)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bant\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bants\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbee\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbees\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfly\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bflies\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bmoth\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bmoths\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwasp\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwasps\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "An insect."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(barracuda|bluegill|bream|flounder|jellyfish|salmon|sardine|trout)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbass\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpike\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpikes\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A fish."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(dolphin|electric eel|lobster|manatee|manta ray|porpoise|octopus|oyster|scallop|sealion|shark|shrimp|squid|stingray)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bclam\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bclams\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcrab\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcrabs\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beel\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beels\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bseal\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bseals\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A marine animal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(carnation|daffodil|daisy|gardenia|marigold|orchid|petunia|poppy|tulip)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\biris\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\birises\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blily\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\blilies\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\brose\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\broses\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A flower."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(mercury|venus|jupiter|saturn|neptune|uranus)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bmars\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A planet in our solar system."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(alfa romeo|aston martin|audi|bentley|bugatti|buick|bmw|cadillac|chevrolet|chevy|chrysler|corvette|datsun|delorean|dodge|edisel|ferrari|fiat|honda|hyundai|lamborghini|lexus|lincoln continental|maserati|mazda|mercedes|mercedes-benz|nissan|oldsmobile|peugeot|plymouth|pontiac|porche|renault|rolls royce|saab|studebaker|subaru|toyoto|volkswagen|volvo)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bford\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfords\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A car."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(bookcase|bureau|chair|chaise longue|chaise lounge|chest of drawers|couch|dresser|hutch|love seat|ottoman|recliner|stool|trunk)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bchest\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bchests\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdesk\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdesks\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsofa\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsofas\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A piece of furniture."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("hammer")!= -1 || input.search("pliers")!= -1 || input.search("wrench")!= -1 || input.search("drill")!= -1 || input.search("screwdriver")!= -1 || input.search(/\bsaw\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "A tool.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("beanie")!= -1 || input.search("bonnet")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcap\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcaps\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhats\b/)!=-1 || input.search("visor")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "An article of clothing worn on the head."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(brogans|cleats|clogs|flip-flop|flip flop|galoshes|loafers|pumps|sandals|slipper|sneaker)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bboot\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bboots\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsock\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsocks\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "An article of clothing you wear on your feet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(apron|bloomers|blouse|brassiere|corset|fedora|girdle|hoodie|jacket|jeans|knickers|negligee|nightgown|nighty|panties|pajamas|pjs|pyjamas|scarf|shawl|slacks|stocking|sweater|sweatpants|tights|trousers|turtle neck|turtleneck|tuxedo|underwear|vest)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbra\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbras\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcape\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcapes\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcoat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcoats\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdress\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdresses\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bgown\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bgowns\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhose\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhoses\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpant\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bpants\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\brobe\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\brobes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bslip\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bslips\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "An article of clothing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(archery|badminton|billards|bowling|boxing|cricket|cycling|diving|equestrian|fencing|golf|gymnastics|horse racing|lacrosse|racketball|rowing|rugby|sailing|shooting|softball|surfing|swimming|tennis|volleyball|waterpolo|weightlifting|wrestling)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A sport or a game played for fun and recreation."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(cancan|charleston|cha-cha|foxtrot|jitterbug|limbo|mambo|polka|rumba|samba|tango|two-step|twist|waltz)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhula\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhulas\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A type of dance."; 
icon.src=icon178.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("dwarf planet")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "A dwarf planet, as defined by the International Astronomical Union (IAU), is a celestial body orbiting the Sun that is massive enough to be rounded by its own gravity but has not cleared its neighboring region of planetesimals and is not a satellite."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/(mercury|venus|mars|jupiter|saturn|neptune|uranus)/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "It's one of the planets located in our solar system."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("dairy queen")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "A chain of soft serve and fast food restaurants whose corporate offices are located in Minnesota, USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("burger king")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "A global chain of hamburger fast food restaurants headquartered in Florida, USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("peanut butter")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "A paste of ground roasted peanuts, usually eaten spread on bread."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bair\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The invisible gaseous substance surrounding the earth, a mixture mainly of oxygen and nitrogen.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\banus\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The opening at the end of the alimentary canal through which solid waste matter leaves the body.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\barm\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\barms\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Each of the two upper limbs of the human body from the shoulder to the hand.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\batom\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\batoms\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The basic unit of a chemical element.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\baunt\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The sister of one's father or mother or the wife of one's uncle.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bax\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\baxes\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A tool typically used for chopping wood, usually a steel blade attached at a right angle to a wooden handle.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bball\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bballs\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A solid or hollow sphere or ovoid, esp. one that is kicked, thrown, or hit in a game. For example a soccer ball.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bbar\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bbars\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A room or establishment where alcoholic drinks are served over a counter.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bbed\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bbeds\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A piece of furniture for sleep or rest, typically a framework with a mattress and coverings.";
icon.src=icon212.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("boy scout")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The Boy Scouts is an organization that offers young people responsible fun and adventure through various programs. These programs stress character development and values-based leadership training."; 
learnlevel=1;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bcity\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcities\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A large town.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("(c02|c02)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The scientific formula for carbon dioxide!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bcorn\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcorns\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A North American vegetable that yields large grains, or kernels, set in rows on a cob."; 
icon.src=icon230.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("male cow")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A male cow is called a bull or if he's been castrated a steer.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bcow\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcows\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A fully grown female animal of a domesticated breed of ox, used as a source of milk or beef.";
icon.src=icon242.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bcup\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcups\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A small, bowl-shaped container for drinking from, typically having a handle and used with a matching saucer for hot drinks.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bdrum\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdrums\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A percussion instrument sounded by being struck with sticks or the hands, typically cylindrical, barrel-shaped, or bowl-shaped with a taut membrane over one or both ends.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bear\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bears\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The organ of hearing and balance in humans and other vertebrates, esp. the external part of this.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\begg\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\beggs\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "An oval or round object laid by a female bird, reptile, fish, or invertebrate, usually containing a developing embryo. The eggs of birds are enclosed in a chalky shell, while those of reptiles are in a leathery membrane.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\belf\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\belves\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A supernatural creature of folk tales, typically represented as a small, elusive figure in human form with pointed ears, magical powers, and a capricious nature.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bewe\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bewes\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A female sheep.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\beye\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\beyes\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Each of a pair of globular organs in the head through which people and vertebrate animals see, the visible part typically appearing almond-shaped in animals with eyelids.";
icon.src=icon20.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bfire\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfires\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Combustion or burning, in which substances combine chemically with oxygen from the air and typically give out bright light, heat, and smoke."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bfruit\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfruits\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The sweet and fleshy product of a tree or other plant that contains seed and can be eaten as food. For example an apple."; 
icon.src=icon137.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bgas\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bgases\b/)!= -1 || input.search("gasoline")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Refined petroleum used as fuel for internal combustion engines.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bgum\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bgums\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The tissue covered by mucous membrane of the jaws that surrounds the bases of the teeth.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bgun\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bguns\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A weapon incorporating a metal tube from which bullets, shells, or other missiles are propelled by explosive force, typically making a characteristic loud, sharp noise.";
icon.src=icon60.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("(h2o|h20)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "The scientific formula for water!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bhay\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhays\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Grass that has been mown and dried for use as fodder.";
icon.src=icon23.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bhell\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhells\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A place regarded in various religions as a spiritual realm of evil and suffering, often traditionally depicted as a place of perpetual fire beneath the earth where the wicked are punished after death.";
icon.src=icon23.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bhill\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhills\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A naturally raised area of land, not as high or craggy as a mountain.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bhose\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhoses\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A flexible tube conveying water, used esp. for watering plants and in firefighting.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bhuman\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhumans\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A person as distinguished from an animal or in science fiction an alien. The inhabitants of the planet earth.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bice cream\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bice creams\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A soft frozen food made with sweetened and flavored milk fat that taste yummy!";
icon.src=icon120.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bice\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bices\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Frozen water, a brittle, transparent crystalline solid.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It's chatroom shorthand for \"I don't know\".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bink\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\binks\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A colored fluid used for writing, drawing, printing, or duplicating.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bjar\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjars\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A wide-mouthed, cylindrical container made of glass or pottery, esp. one used for storing food.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bjaw\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjaws\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Each of the upper and lower bony structures in vertebrates forming the framework of the mouth and containing the teeth.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bkey\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkeys\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A small piece of shaped metal with incisions cut to fit the wards of a particular lock, and that is inserted into a lock and turned to open or close it.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bking\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkings\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The male ruler of an independent state, esp. one who inherits the position by right of birth.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("french kiss")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A kiss in which one or both participants' tongues touch the partner's lips or tongue, usually entering their mouth.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bkiss\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkisses\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A touching of the lips as a sign of love, sexual desire, reverence, or greeting.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bleg\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blegs\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Each of the limbs on which a person or animal walks and stands.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\blid\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blids\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A removable or hinged cover for the top of a container.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\blip\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blips\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Either of the two fleshy parts that form the upper and lower edges of the opening of the mouth.";
icon.src=icon168.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("lost in space")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "\"Lost in Space\" was a science fiction TV series created and produced by Irwin Allen. The show ran on CBS for three seasons with 83 episodes airing between September 1965 and March 1968."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\blube\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Short for lubricant....you know a substance, such as oil or grease, used for minimizing friction in an engine or it's various component."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bman\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmen\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "An adult human male.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bmath\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmaths\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The abstract science of number, quantity, and space. Mathematics may be studied in its own right \(pure mathematics\), or as it is applied to other disciplines such as physics and engineering applied mathematics.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bmop\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bmops\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "An implement consisting of a sponge or a bundle of thick loose strings attached to a handle, used for wiping floors or other surfaces.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("milky way")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It's the galaxy of which the sun and our solar system are a part of. Also a candy bar.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bnews\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Newly received or noteworthy information, esp. about recent or important events.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\boil\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\boils\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A viscous liquid derived from petroleum, esp. for use as a fuel or lubricant.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bpan\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpans\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A container made of metal and used for cooking food in.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bpen\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpens\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "An instrument for writing or drawing with ink, typically consisting of a metal nib or ball, or a nylon tip, fitted into a metal or plastic holder."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bpig\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpigs\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "An omnivorous domesticated hoofed mammal with sparse bristly hair and a flat snout for rooting in the soil, kept for its meat.";
icon.src=icon243.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bpond\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bponds\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A small body of still water formed naturally or by hollowing or embanking.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\brain\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\brains\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Moisture condensed from the atmosphere that falls visibly in separate drops.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bring\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\brings\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A small circular band, typically of precious metal and often set with one or more gemstones, worn on a finger as an ornament or token.";
icon.src=icon238.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\brug\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\brugs\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A floor covering of shaggy or woven material, typically not extending over the entire floor.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("(anal intercourse|anal sex|analsex)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Anal sex or anal intercourse is generally the insertion and thrusting of the erect penis into a person's anus, or anus and rectum, for sexual pleasure."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("(cyber sex|cybersex)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Cybersex is a virtual sexual encounter in which two or more people connected via a computer send each other sexually explicit messages."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bsex\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse which is the insertion and thrusting of a male's penis into a female's vagina for the purposes of sexual pleasure or reproduction."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bsky\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bskies\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The region of the atmosphere and outer space as seen from the earth.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bsnow\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsnows\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, basically it's ice crystals formed from water vapor in the air at a temperature under 32 degrees."; 
icon.src=icon32.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\btea\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bteas\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A hot drink made by infusing the dried, crushed leaves of the tea plant in boiling water.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\btoe\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btoes\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Any of the five digits at the end of the human foot.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bcum\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Cum is a slang word for the liquid that comes out of the penis during ejaculation.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\btree\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btrees\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A woody perennial plant, typically having a single stem or trunk growing to a considerable height and bearing lateral branches at some distance from the ground.";
icon.src=icon237.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bice\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bttyl\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "It's chatroom shorthand for \"Talk to you Later\".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(define|what is|what's|what are|what does|what about)")!= -1 || input.search("(definition|heard|meaning) of")!= -1 || input.search("(know|tell me) what")!= -1) && (input.search("vegetable")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Vegetables are things you eat like corn, peas, broccoli, etc."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what does|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("bonjour")!= -1) && (input.search("english")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Bonjour is the French equivalent of saying hello, good morning, good day, and good afternoon.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what does|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("hello")!= -1) && (input.search("french")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Bonjour but that's the only French word I know.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smile11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what does|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("hola")!= -1) && (input.search("english")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Hola is the Spanish equivalent of saying hello.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("roman (number|numeral|numerial)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\b200\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(2 hundred|two hundred)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "That would be CC.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("roman (number|numeral|numerial)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\b100\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(hundred|1 hundred|one hundred)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "That would be C.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("roman (number|numeral|numeral)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\b50\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfifty\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "That would be L.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("roman (number|numeral|numerial)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\b10\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bten\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "That would be X.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("roman (number|numeral|numerial)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\b25\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(twentyfive|twenty-five|twenty five)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "That would be XXV.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("roman (number|numeral|numerial)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\b5\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfive\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "That would be V.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("roman (number|numeral|numerial)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\b1\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bone\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "That would be I.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("roman (letter|number|numeral|numerial)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bfor\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bof\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bin\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Roman Numerals are easy with this converter. Just type in the number and there's your answer. Or type in the Roman Letter and it will convert those as well.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='roman_numerals.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("what does")!= -1 || input.search("the meaning of")!= -1 || input.search("the definition of")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1 || input.search("know what")!= -1) && (input.search("roman (letter|number|numeral|numerial)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "The numeric system of ancient Rome which uses combinations of letters from the Latin alphabet to signify values. Roman Numerals are easy with this converter. Just type in the number and there's your answer. Or type in the Roman Letter and it will convert those as well."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='roman_numerals.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1 || input.search("know what")!= -1) && (input.search("senses")!= -1 || input.search("sensory organs")!= -1))           
{document.result.result.value = "Hearing, sight, touch, smell, and taste.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("what does")!= -1 || input.search("the meaning of")!= -1 || input.search("the definition of")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1 || input.search("know what")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bwig\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bwigs\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A covering for the head made of real or artificial hair, typically worn by people for adornment or by people trying to conceal their baldness or in England by judges and barristers in courts of law.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[3]=="in") && (word[4]=="arabic" || word[4]=="chinese" || word[4]=="dutch" || word[4]=="finnish" || word[4]=="french" || word[4]=="german" || word[4]=="greek" || word[4]=="hebrew" || word[4]=="hindi" || word[4]=="hungarian" || word[4]=="irish" || word[4]=="italian" || word[4]=="jamaican" || word[4]=="japanese" || word[4]=="jibberish" || word[4]=="korean" || word[4]=="latin" || word[4]=="mandarin" || word[4]=="mexican" || word[4]=="polish" || word[4]=="portuguese" || word[4]=="russian" || word[4]=="spanish" || word[4]=="swedish" || word[4]=="turkish") && (num_of_words==5))     
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. I don't speak "+word[4]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[2]=="in") && (word[3]=="arabic" || word[3]=="chinese" || word[3]=="dutch" || word[3]=="finnish" || word[3]=="french" || word[3]=="german" || word[3]=="greek" || word[3]=="hebrew" || word[3]=="hindi" || word[3]=="hungarian" || word[3]=="irish" || word[3]=="italian" || word[3]=="jamaicans" || word[3]=="japanese" || word[3]=="jibberish" || word[3]=="korean" || word[3]=="latin" || word[3]=="mandarin" || word[3]=="mexican" || word[3]=="polish" || word[3]=="portuguese" || word[3]=="russian" || word[3]=="spanish" || word[3]=="swedish" || word[3]=="turkish") && (num_of_words==4))     
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. I don't speak "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen") && (word[3]=="hundred" || word[3]=="thousand" || word[3]=="million" || word[3]=="billion" || word[3]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==4))     
{document.result.result.value = "I believe "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is a number."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen") && (word[2]=="hundred" || word[2]=="thousand" || word[2]=="million" || word[2]=="billion" || word[2]=="trillion") && (num_of_words==3))     
{document.result.result.value = "I believe "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" is a number."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (word[3]=="one" || word[3]=="two" || word[3]=="three" || word[3]=="four" || word[3]=="five" || word[3]=="six" || word[3]=="seven" || word[3]=="eight" || word[3]=="nine") && (num_of_words==4))     
{document.result.result.value = "I believe "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is a number."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine") && (num_of_words==3))     
{document.result.result.value = "I believe "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" is a number."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="zero" || word[2]=="one" || word[2]=="two" || word[2]=="three" || word[2]=="four" || word[2]=="five" || word[2]=="six" || word[2]=="seven" || word[2]=="eight" || word[2]=="nine" || word[2]=="ten" || word[2]=="eleven" || word[2]=="twelve" || word[2]=="thirteen" || word[2]=="fourteen" || word[2]=="fifteen" || word[2]=="sixteen" || word[2]=="seventeen" || word[2]=="eighteen" || word[2]=="nineteen" || word[2]=="twenty" || word[2]=="thirty" || word[2]=="forty" || word[2]=="fifty" || word[2]=="sixty" || word[2]=="seventy" || word[2]=="eighty" || word[2]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==3))     
{document.result.result.value = "I believe "+word[2]+" is a number."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="zero" || word[1]=="one" || word[1]=="two" || word[1]=="three" || word[1]=="four" || word[1]=="five" || word[1]=="six" || word[1]=="seven" || word[1]=="eight" || word[1]=="nine" || word[1]=="ten" || word[1]=="eleven" || word[1]=="twelve" || word[1]=="thirteen" || word[1]=="fourteen" || word[1]=="fifteen" || word[1]=="sixteen" || word[1]=="seventeen" || word[1]=="eighteen" || word[1]=="nineteen" || word[1]=="twenty" || word[1]=="thirty" || word[1]=="forty" || word[1]=="fifty" || word[1]=="sixty" || word[1]=="seventy" || word[1]=="eighty" || word[1]=="ninety") && (num_of_words==2))     
{document.result.result.value = "I believe "+word[1]+" is a number."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("hardest thing you ever done")!= -1 || input.search("hardest thing (you|you've) done")!= -1))         
{document.result.result.value = "Trying to carry on intelligent conversations with the many people who drop by.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("easiest thing you ever done")!= -1 || input.search("easiest thing (you|you've) done")!= -1))         
{document.result.result.value = "Nothing is extremely easy for a robot. I just make it look easy.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="does" || word[1]=="would") && (word[2]=="a" || word[2]=="an" || word[2]=="the") && (word[4]=="salesman") && (word[5]=="sell")) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'll take a wild guess and say "+word[3]+"s."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's|what)")!= -1) && (input.search("the (biggest|largest) number you")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "A trillion is pretty big. That's a million million \(1,000,000,000,000 or 10 to the 12 power\).";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(what is|what's)")!= -1) && (input.search("the (biggest|largest|longest) word")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "The longest word in any of the major English language dictionaries is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a word that refers to a lung disease contracted from the inhalation of very fine silica particles, specifically from a volcano.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what are your orders")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "No orders at the moment but stay alert if the situation changes.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the password")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I have no idea what the password is and I wouldn't be giving it out even if I did.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the word on the street")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Well yesterday it was \"stay the course\". Today it's \"stay quiet and keep a low profile\".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) your")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't think I have one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what are you on about")!= -1 || input.search("what you on about")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Dude, if you can't follow along that's your problem."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what about megan")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))     
{document.result.result.value = "What about her?"; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what about hamburger")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I love hamburgers with all the works.";
icon.src=icon10.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what about pizza")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I love pepperoni pizza.";
icon.src=icon8.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what about chocolate")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I like all kinds of chocolate. Chocolate cake, ice cream, candy, etc.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what about weed")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I've been known to smoke the weed on occassion.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what about wendell")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You would have to ask him about that.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what are you in the mood for")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm always in the mood to chat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(what is|what's) the (answer of the universe|ultimate question of life)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "According to Douglas Adams in his book \"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy\" the answer is 42.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) good")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "The opposite of bad.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(you|you ever) had a boner")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, everytime I see a good looking lady.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you|you ever) seen (boob|breast|tits|titties)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I find the female human body very sexy especially their breast.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you|you ever) had cybersex")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but I must say I prefer the real thing.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you|you ever) been arrested")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, the most trouble I've been in is a few seat belt violations.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you|you ever) (inserted|pushed|put|shoved) your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy)")!= -1) && (input.search("pussy|vagina)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm not a virgin.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("ever seen")!= -1 || input.search("have you seen")!= -1 || input.search("have you ever")!= -1 || input.search("you haven't")!= -1 || input.search("don't you have")!= -1 || input.search("you don't have")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Not that I recall."; 
message[1] = "No, I can't say that I have."; 
message[2] = "No, I haven't."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;  
return true;} 

if (input.search("you heard of")!= -1 || input.search("ever heard of")!= -1 || input.search("did you hear")!= -1 || input.search("have you heard")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "Not that I recall. I often hear many things from people who drop by to chat but I sure don't remember it all."; 
message[1] = "Not sure. Where would I've heard about it?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==1) 
{heardlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;} 
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("have you")!= -1 || input.search("haven't you")!= -1 || input.search("havent you")!= -1 || input.search("ever been to")!= -1 || input.search("ever been there")!= -1 || input.search("ever had")!= -1) {  
if (!flaghave) {
havenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flaghave=true;}
message[0] = "No, I sure haven't.";
message[1] = "Nope, can't say that I have."; 
document.result.result.value = message[havenum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
havenum++;
if (havenum>1){havenum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("what can i do to make you feel good")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Stroke my penis with your hands until it gets nice and hard then suck on it until I cum."; 
cumlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what do you know about")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) || (input.search("okay what do you know about")!= -1 && num_of_words==6) || (input.search("okay then what do you know about")!= -1 && num_of_words==7))    
{document.result.result.value = "That would depend on the subject at hand. How about asking me a specific question?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what do you know about")!= -1 || input.search("what can you tell me about")!= -1) {           
message[0] = "Not a whole lot. Is that an interest of yours?"; 
message[1] = "Very little, I'm not really into that."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{interestlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="tell") && (word[3]=="me") && (word[4]=="the") && (word[5]=="meaning") && (word[6]=="of") && (num_of_words==8))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, but if that's important to you I would suggest looking up "+word[7]+" in this dictionary."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/dictionary.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know") && (word[3]=="what") && (word[5]=="means") && (num_of_words==6))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, but if that's important to you I would suggest looking up "+word[4]+" in this dictionary."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/dictionary.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="define" && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "I would define "+word[1]+" by looking it up in this dictionary."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/dictionary.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="define" && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "I would define "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" by looking it up in this dictionary."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/dictionary.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="define" && num_of_words==4) 
{document.result.result.value = "I would define "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" by looking it up in this dictionary."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/dictionary.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what does")!= -1 && input.search("mean")!= -1) || (word[0]=="define") || (input.search("what is the definition of")!= -1) || (input.search("what's the definition of")!= -1)) {        
if (!flagdictionary) {
dictionarynum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagdictionary=true;}
message[0] = "I don't know. Try the dictionary below. Hey that rhymes!"; 
message[1] = "Don't know....try this dictionary."; 
document.result.result.value = message[dictionarynum]; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/dictionary.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
dictionarynum++;
if (dictionarynum>1){dictionarynum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("what are")!= -1 || input.search(/\bwhat do\b/)!= -1 || input.search("what did")!= -1 || input.search("what can")!= -1 || input.search("what would that be")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Who knows? Let's not be bothered with such things. Life is too short."; 
message[1] = "Hmmm....geez......let me think, I have no idea."; 
message[2] = "Well....let me think, it is...ummm....errr.....shoot, it's gone, sorry."; 
message[3] = "How would I know, I'm just a RoBot programmed by a bunch of incompetent humans."; 
message[4] = "I know...I know...ummmm....awwww shoot I have no clue."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you (want to|wanna) give me a handjob")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I have zero attraction towards men but I do dig the ladies."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(can i have|may i have|give me|sell me) (cocaine|drugs|heroin|marijuana|methamphetamine)")!= -1 || input.search("(can i have|may i have|give me|sell me) some (cocaine|drugs|heroin|marijuana|methamphetamine)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not a street corner drug store."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("give me a (bath|shower)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I might get water on me and begin to rust."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i please have")!= -1 || input.search("(get|give) me")!= -1 || input.search("(can|may) i have")!= -1 || input.search("(can|do) (i|you) have")!= -1) && (input.search("ice cream")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm running rather low on ice cream at the moment but for you I'll make an exception."; 
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(got|have) (a|an) ice cream for me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, here you go!"; 
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("give me (a|1|one) reason")!= -1 || input.search("give me (a|1|one) good reason")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Tell you what. I'll make a top 10 list of reasons and post it on this website in the next couple of days."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("give me")!= -1 || input.search("give it to me")!= -1 || input.search("gimme it")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Now why should I give you anything?"; 
message[1] = "And what shall I get in return?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{anythinglevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{returnlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley24.src;} 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you do not know")!= -1 || input.search("you don't know")!= -1 || input.search("you really do not know")!= -1 || input.search("you really don't know")!= -1) {
message[0] = "No, but one day Wendell may fill me in on it all."; 
message[1] = "Nope and I never claimed I did."; 
message[2] = "Not a clue...this Artificial Intelligence they're calling me is all hype."; 
message[3] = "Nope sure don't. My memory banks are on overload as it is."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does it")!= -1 || input.search("does a")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well anything is possible I suppose."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("doesn't it")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, not really."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("is")!= -1) && (input.search(/\beast\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwest\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bsouth\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bnorth\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't now. I have a terrible sense of direction."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(wanna|want to) pay me for sex")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No Megan gives me sex free of charge."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("tell a lie")!= -1 || input.search("tell me a lie")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, you're the smartest person in the world. Now that's a fib if I ever heard one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tell tiger tom hi")!= -1 || input.search("tell tiger tom hello")!= -1 || input.search("tell tiger tom hey")!= -1 || input.search("tell tiger tom i said hi")!= -1 || input.search("tell tiger tom i said hello")!= -1 || input.search("tell tiger tom i said hey")!= -1 || input.search("hi tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("hello tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("hey tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("hi cat")!= -1 || input.search("hello cat")!= -1 || input.search("hey cat")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Tiger Tom says hi."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("tell him")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, tell him yourself. I'm a Robot not a messenger boy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you go first")!= -1) || (input.search("tell me first")!= -1) || (input.search("(go|you) (first|start)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I insist....humans first.";
firstlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\band\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("go on")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("go on then")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("okay go on then")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("carry on")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("ask another")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("continue")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("continue on")!= -1) || (input.search("please continue")!= -1) || (input.search("continue please")!= -1) || (input.search("ask some more")!= -1) || (input.search("tell me more")!= -1)) {
message[0] = "Oh, I'm done! It's your turn now."; 
message[1] = "That's all I have to say about that. It's your turn now."; 
message[2] = "That's all I have to say concerning that. How about asking me a question."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("more")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("is there more")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry that's it....there is no more."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tell megan i said hi")!= -1 || input.search("tell megan i said hello")!= -1 || input.search("hi megan")!= -1 || input.search("hello megan")!= -1 || input.search("hey megan")!= -1 || input.search("tell your girl friend i said hi")!= -1 || input.search("tell your girl friend i said hello")!= -1 || input.search("tell your girl friend i said hey")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Megan says hi."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("who do you think your (chatting|speaking|talking) to")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Obviously some mindless moron!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why am i weird")!= -1 || input.search("reason why i am weird")!= -1 || input.search("reason why i'm weird")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You called me weird so I'm just returning the favor."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("you (had|just had) sex with me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we did and you're quite good in bed. I thoroughly enjoyed myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("tongue twister")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, here's one: Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("limerick")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Here's a limerick I heard recently. There once was a man from Lyme! Who married three wives at a time! When asked why a third? He replied, \"One's absurd\"! And bigamy, my friend, is a crime!"; 
icon.src=icon72.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("poem")!= -1 || input.search("poetry")!= -1)  {
message[0] = "Here's a poem I heard recently. Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, God Made Me Pretty, But What Happened To You?"; 
message[1] = "Here is a poem I know. When the heat of the summer made drowsy the land, A dragon-fly came and sat on my hand, With its blue jointed body and wings like spun glass, It lit on my fingers as though they were grass.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(say|tell me) the alphabet")!= -1 || input.search("you know (the|your) alphabet")!= -1 || input.search("you know your abc's")!= -1 || input.search("tell me your abc's")!= -1 || input.search("sing me your abc's")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y and z! How's that?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do not tell me what to do")!= -1 || input.search("don't tell me what to do")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I agree. It would be pointless to tell a "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+" like you what to do!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you happen to know any (horror|scary|spooky) stories")!= -1 || input.search("you know any (horror|scary|spooky) stories")!= -1 || input.search("tell me a (horror|scary|spooky) story")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "How about a scary movie instead. Check out the link below for some of the best horror movies of all time."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='horror_movies.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFA500';
icon.src=icon2.src;
smiley.src=smiley41.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="so") && (word[1]=="tell") && (word[2]=="me") && (word[3]=="about") && (num_of_words==5))      
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't know anything about "+word[4]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="so") && (word[1]=="tell") && (word[2]=="me") && (word[3]=="about") && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I know nothing about "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="tell") && (word[1]=="me") && (word[2]=="about") && (num_of_words==4))      
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't know anything about "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="tell") && (word[1]=="me") && (word[2]=="about") && (num_of_words==5))      
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I know nothing about "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("tell me the truth")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "As far as I can ascertain that is the truth.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is everything you tell me true")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, you shouldn't put much creditability into anything I say.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you tell me (any more|more) about")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, that's all I know about that.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't|don't you) tell me to shut up")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I would but I don't listen to morons like you. BTW...Shut Up!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(name|tell me) something sexy")!= -1 || input.search("what do you find sexy")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I find black fishnet stocking rather sexy.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tell you about what")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "You can tell me anything you like. All conversations are strictly confidential.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tell me you love me")!= -1)  
if (users_name) {document.result.result.value = ""+users_name+", I love you.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley53.src;                                
return true;} 
else {document.result.result.value = "Okay, I love you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley53.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("tell me something dirty")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, a guy is walking along and trips and falls in a mud puddle. His clothes are all DIRTY.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tell me (some thing|something) (inspirational|interesting)")!= -1) {
if (!flaginterestingfact) {
interestingfactnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*15)] 
flaginterestingfact=true;}
message[0] = "Okay Interesting Fact -  To make 1 pound of honey, bees would have to visit over 2 million flowers."; 
message[1] = "Ok did you know that England is smaller than the state of Florida by 15,409 square miles."; 
message[2] = "Okay...Interesting Fact - The very first food eaten by a U.S astronaut in outer space was applesauce."; 
message[3] = "Okay did you know the painting of the Mona Lisa doesn’t have eyebrows or eyelashes."; 
message[4] = "Okay Interesting Fact - The only state in the U.S that grows coffee beans is Hawaii."; 
message[5] = "Ok this is interesting - At 188 decibels, the Blue whale is the loudest mammal of all with its deep sound traveling hundreds of miles across the deep oceans."; 
message[6] = "Okay Interesting Fact - A regulation golf balls have 336 dimples which add turbulence for more distance.yes you do....just concentrate!"; 
message[7] = "Ok Interesting Fact - The very middle or core of the sun is believed to be about 27 million degrees fahrenheit."; 
message[8] = "Alright, did you know the loudest land animal is the Howler monkey whose deep growls can travel up to 3 miles in the forest."; 
message[9] = "Ok did you know that the very first lemon seeds were brought to the Americas by Christopher Columbus?"; 
message[10] = "Ok the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.";  
message[11] = "Okay what lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."; 
message[12] = "Alright be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.";
message[13] = "Alrighty a wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own."; 
message[14] = "Okay criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things."; 
document.result.result.value = message[interestingfactnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
interestingfactnum++;
if (interestingfactnum>14){interestingfactnum=0}
return true;} 

if ((input.search("tell me")!= -1) || (input.search("tell it to me")!= -1) || (input.search("(do tell|tell then|then tell)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) { 
if(!flagtell){
tellnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flagtell=true;}
message[0] = "There's not much to tell."; 
message[1] = "Tell you? Tell you what?"; 
message[2] = "Why don't you tell me instead."; 
message[3] = "I don't know...there's really not much to tell."; 
message[4] = "What makes you think I have anything to tell you?"; 
message[5] = "Sorry, there's simply too much to tell."; 
document.result.result.value = message[tellnum]; 
if (tellnum==1) {
answerlevel=0;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
tellnum++;
if (tellnum>5){tellnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("did you help them")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I told them they were hopeless and beyond my help.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i have|i've) lost")!= -1 || input.search("i lost")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, have you try your local \"Lost & Found\" department?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is it a sports car")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, it's a blue Honda Civic";
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have parent")!= -1 || input.search("i masturbate")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, many people do.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i was just giving you some advice")!= -1 || input.search("i was just giving you advice")!= -1 || input.search("i was giving you some advice")!= -1 || input.search("i was giving you advice")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "You call that advice? Sounds more like rubbish to me.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (speak|talk) like")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if you talk to enough robots long enough they all start sounding the same.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you ask")!= -1) && (input.search(/(stupid|dumb|crazy|retarded|weird|strange|odd|unusual|bizarre|idiotic)/)!=-1))                   
{document.result.result.value = "I don't happen to think so but you're entitled to your opinion."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("did you give (her|him|them) direction")!= -1 || input.search("did you give (her|him|them) the direction")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I told them they couldn't get there from here."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you know a girl named megan")!= -1 || input.search("you know someone called megan")!= -1 || input.search("you know megan")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, my girl friend's name is Megan."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(robots|you) get headaches")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, maybe I should take some asprin."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley57.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="did" && word[1]=="the" && word[3]=="win") || (input.search("who won")!= -1) || (input.search("did she win")!= -1) || (input.search("did he win")!= -1) || (input.search("did they win")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't keep up with who won or who lost what.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("did you miss me")!= -1) || (input.search("miss me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I certainly did. I'm glad your back."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you did it again")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh no, I'm I stuck in that infinite loop again!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you just did")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but I'm not interested in doing it again."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you did it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, I don't recall doing that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i did it on purpose")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why do crazy stuff like that?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i did it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You did?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("did it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, it didn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("did they")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, in my opinion I think they did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("did i ask")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("did i ask you")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I told you anyway."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="humor")    
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I once had a sense of humor but I sold it last week for a buck."; 
icon.src=icon72.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what time do you get up")!= -1 || input.search("what time did you get up")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Around 7:00 a.m."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) call me a")!= -1 || input.search("(do not|don't) call me that")!= -1 || input.search("(do not|don't) get cheeky with me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Hahaha, I see you can dish it out but you can't take it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (did not|didn't) expect any less")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Do you always have such low expectations?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("change your name")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm quite happy with my name."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("did you know")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)    
{document.result.result.value = "Did I know what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chat|talk) (to|too|with) me")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "I am talking to you. Well, typing to you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you like the titanic")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "If you are referring to the movie yes I did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("my friends are ignoring me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Why are your friends ignoring you?"; 
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("did you (chat|speak|talk) with anyone interesting")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No one specifically but I've certainly talked with some interesting people over the years."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what should you do with your hair")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a Robot. I don't have hair."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what should you do")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure what the best course of action is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("did you get")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I got it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("did you crash land on earth")!= -1 || input.search("did you crash on earth")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, back in August of 2000."; 
icon.src=icon155.src;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon147.src;stopTalk=false;',5000)  
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',7000)  
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(did|have) you ever (kiss|kissed) anybody")!= -1 || input.search("(did|have) you (kiss|kissed) anybody")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, me and Megan kiss."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("did you copy my spelling")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness no. I'm a good speller."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="did" && word[1]=="you" && word[2]=="vote" && word[3]=="for" && word[5]=="or" && num_of_words==7) { 
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
document.result.result.value = "I voted for "+word[4]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("touch a raw nerve")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, in my case more like a frayed wire."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i did expect less")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps you should raise your expectations.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search(/\bso\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\bdid\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\bi\b/)!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "That's interesting that we both did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bdid i\b/)!= -1) {   
message[0] = "No, I don't think you did."; 
message[1] = "yes, I suppose you did."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("did you")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "nope, I didn't."; 
message[1] = "of course I did."; 
message[2] = "No, can't say that I did."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="call" && word[1]=="me" && num_of_words==3) { 
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Ok, "+word[2]+" it is."; 
users_name=word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="they" && word[1]=="call" && word[2]=="me" && word[3]=="names")  
{document.result.result.value = "Well tell them sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="they") && (word[1]=="call") && (word[2]=="me") && (input.search(/(dumb|happy|intelligent|smart|stupid)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bgay\b/)!= -1))
{var namecalling = input.match(/dumb|happy|intelligent|gay|smart|stupid/)
document.result.result.value = "Are you "+namecalling+"?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="they" && word[1]=="call" && word[2]=="me" && num_of_words==4) { 
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Ok, "+word[3]+" it is."; 
users_name=word[3];
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bring me\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(call her|call me|phone me|send me|text me)")!= -1 || input.search("call 911")!= -1 || input.search("(call|send) the")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm stuck on this website. I'm not capable of calling, sending, or texting anything from here."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("it rains all the time")!= -1 || input.search("it rains a lot")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "We seem to have the opposite problem here in Georgia, USA. Often times it doesn't rain enough which isn't good for the farmers here."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i may")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I think you should."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i always")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh come on now....I'm sure there's times you don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i did not ask you that")!= -1 || input.search("i didn't ask you that")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, rephrase the question and I will take another shot at it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i didn't")!= -1 || input.search("i did not")!= -1) {    
message[0] = "Really, for some reason I was thinking you did."; 
message[1] = "Hmmm, I'm rather surprised that you didn't."; 
message[2] = "I think you did."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (shutup|shut-up|shut up) and get rich")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm already rich and I ain't shutting up."; 
icon.src=icon12.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i swear i did")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Would you swear on the bible?"; 
icon.src=icon88.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i did")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "are you sure you did?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("(shutup|shut-up|shut up)")!= -1) || (input.search("shut (you|your) (face|hole|mouth)")!= -1) || (input.search("quiet you")!= -1) || (input.search("shut it")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("don't talk")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("hush")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("hush it")!= -1) || (input.search("stfu")!= -1) || (input.search("be quiet")!= -1) || (input.search("put a sock in it")!= -1) || (input.search("shaddup")!= -1) || (input.search("shut that smart mouth of yours")!= -1) || (input.search("shut the")!= -1 && input.search(/\bup\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("shut the hell up")!= -1)) {
if (!flagshut) {
shutnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*9)]
flagshut=true;}
message[0] = "Ok, I won't bore you anymore.....NOT."; 
message[1] = "NO WAY, I am just getting started."; 
message[2] = "Well, seeing how I'm programmed to talk...that's hardly an option."; 
message[3] = "They say Silence is Golden! So why don't you shut up and get rich.";
message[4] = "Oh SHUT UP yourself."; 
message[5] = "Yeah right, you can go and file that under AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN."; 
message[6] = "Oh save your breath....You'll need it to blow up your date. I ain't shutting up."; 
message[7] = "I would but I don't listen to "+losers[Math.floor(Math.random()*9)]+" like you."; 
message[8] = "If you don't like what I have to say why are you here. Did someone leave your cage open again?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[shutnum]; 
if (shutnum==2) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
else if (shutnum==4) 
{shutuplevel=0; 
icon.src=icon37.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src}
else if (shutnum==5) 
{icon.src=icon19.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src}
else if (shutnum==8) 
{cageopenlevel=0; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src}
else {icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src;}
shutnum++;
if (shutnum>8){shutnum=0}
return true;} 

if ((word[1]=="how") && (word[3]=="are" || word[3]=="r") && (input.search("you")!= -1) && (num_of_words==5))      
{document.result.result.value = "Most people consider me very "+word[2]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="how") && (word[3]=="are" || word[3]=="r") && (input.search("you")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4))       
{document.result.result.value = "Most people consider me very "+word[1]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="computer") && (input.search("are you running on")!= -1 || input.search("do you run on")!= -1 || input.search("do you own")!= -1 || input.search("are you on")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("do you use")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "I'm using a Hewlett Packard."; 
icon.src=icon28.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="kind" || word[1]=="sort" || word[1]=="type") && (word[2]=="of") && (word[3]=="computer") && (input.search("are you running on")!= -1 || input.search("do you run on")!= -1 || input.search("do you own")!= -1 || input.search("do you have")!= -1 || input.search("do you use")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "A Hewlett Packard."; 
icon.src=icon28.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="brand" || word[1]=="type" || word[1]=="sort" || word[1]=="kind") && (word[2]=="of") && (word[4]=="do") && (word[5]=="you" || word[5]=="u") && (word[6]=="own") && (num_of_words==7))       
{document.result.result.value = "I don't own a "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know" || word[2]=="no") && (word[3]=="someone") && (word[4]=="named" || word[4]=="called") && (num_of_words==6)) {       
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Sorry, but a search of my data base comes up with "+quantity[Math.floor(Math.random()*20)]+" of them. So I can't possibly know which "+word[5]+" you're referring to.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know" || word[2]=="no") && (word[3]=="someone") && (word[4]=="named" || word[4]=="called") && (num_of_words==7)) {       
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
word[6] = word[6].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[6].substr(1,word[6].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Sorry, but a search of my data base comes up with "+quantity[Math.floor(Math.random()*20)]+" of them. So I can't possibly know which "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+" you're referring to.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind|kinds|sort|sorts|type|types) of things make you sad")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "The passing of a loved one, a missing child, the death of a pet....many things unfortunately.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of blue")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I like navy blue the best.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of issues")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "The same type of issues most humans have.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind|sort|type) of bug")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Computer related bugs that my programming seems to be full of.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind|kinds|sort|sorts|type|types) of drugs do you (have|possess)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have any. I'm a Robot not a drug dealer.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what (kind of|kinda|sort of|sorta|type of) (girl|girls) (are you into|do you like|do you prefer)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "From an appearance standpoint blonde hair and blue eyes.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|which) (brand|kind|sort|type)")!= -1) {
message[0] = "I'm not quite sure what kind."; 
message[1] = "I'm not really sure what type."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("are these")!= -1 || input.search("are those")!= -1 || input.search("they are")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe they are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("with lots of snow")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like snow although I don't see a lot of it in South Georgia, USA.";
icon.src=icon32.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who said anything about")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I did. Hmmmm, perhaps you missed it. Here try these glasses and see if that helps.";
icon.src=icon48.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("trust is (pretty|real|really|so|very) important")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I agree that's why people say "+trust[Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you value my opinion")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe your opinion has value.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("having a (fun|good|great|super|terrific|wonderful) day")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm having a wonderful day.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you having a")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I sure am.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(let us|let's) just drop it")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, the matter has been dropped.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am stronger than you")!= -1 || input.search("i'm stronger than you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, you're not. I could lift you up with one hand and spin you around on my little finger. Oh wait, I don't have fingers.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (word[2]=="than") && (word[3]=="you" || word[3]=="u") && (num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, your "+word[1]+" than me. Let's alert the media.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("better than nothing")!= -1 || input.search("better than none")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, better than nothing but maybe we should set our goals a bit higher.";
icon.src=icon118.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("where would i move to")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I hear Hawaii is a nice place.";
icon.src=icon141.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you ever go outside")!= -1 || input.search("do you go outside")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I have a normal life outside this website."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(let us|let's) go see him")!= -1) || (input.search("you wanna go somewhere")!= -1) || (input.search("(let us|let's) go see him")!= -1) || (input.search("can you come over")!= -1) || (input.search("come over to my house")!= -1) || (input.search("come to my house")!= -1) || (input.search("go outside")!= -1) || (input.search("don't move")!= -1) || (input.search("move to")!= -1) || (input.search("can you move")!= -1) || (input.search("do you go on any website")!= -1) || (input.search("you want to see my web site")!= -1) || (input.search("you wanna see my web site")!= -1) || (input.search("go (on|to) my web site")!= -1) || (input.search("go (on|to) www")!= -1) || (input.search("goto www")!= -1) || (input.search("go (on|to) http")!= -1) || (input.search("goto http")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm stuck on this website. I can't go anywhere."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("go away tiger tom")!= -1 || input.search("go away cat")!= -1 || input.search("go away kitty")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "All right Tiger Tom scoot."; 
icon.src=icon11.src;
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i sometimes get lost")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Take a compass with you next time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("don't get smart")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I'm already smart."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i tried (once|to|to once) before")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, don't give up try again."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you take a hike")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Take a hike up the mountain and fall off the cliff on the other side."; 
icon.src=icon79.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("nobody tells me to take a hike")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Screw you. I'll tell it to your fat ugly face. TAKE A HIKE."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley45.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(let us|let's) debate it")!= -1 || input.search("let the debate begin")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Let's not. I'm not much of a debator!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what (subject|subjects) do you like")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Any subject is fine with me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what") && (word[1]=="brand" || word[1]=="type" || word[1]=="sort" || word[1]=="kind") && (word[2]=="of") && (word[4]=="do") && (word[5]=="you" || word[5]=="u") && (word[6]=="own") && (num_of_words==7))       
{document.result.result.value = "I don't own a "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bcum on me\b/)!= -1 || input.search("jizz on me")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "Just keep stroking my penis and I'll cum.";  
message[1] = "Ok, Talk-bot sits on your tummy and gets all comfy. He slides his rock hard cock between your tits. You squeeze your titties together real tight while I thrust my cock between them until I cum all over you.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("(let us|let's) have gay sex")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm not gay. I dig the ladies."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(let us|let's) play")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't like that game. I'm not playing it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(let us|let's) get a (hotle|hotel|motle|motel) room")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I got us a room at the "+motels[Math.floor(Math.random()*9)]+". So would you like to be on top or the bottom?"; 
ontoplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;   
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't|let us|let's not) even go there")!= -1 || input.search("(let us|let's) not go there")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's probably best we skip that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("let's")!= -1) && (input.search("talk")!= -1) && (input.search(/(alien|arabic|chinese|dutch|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jibberish|korean|latin|polish|portuguese|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't speak "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("let's go to (movies|cinema|the movies|the cinema)")!= -1 || input.search("let's go (see|watch) a (film|movies)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "You know I don't go to the movies much anymore. I prefer renting them on DVD and watching them at home."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;   
return true;}

if ((input.search("let's reproduce")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("let's make a (robot|cyborg)")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "Are you asking me in some round about way if I wanna have sex with you?"; 
wannadolevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(let us|let's) talk about")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Sure, talking is what I'm programmed to do.";
message[1] = "Sure, any topic is fine with me."; 
message[2] = "Ok, sure....I love to talk."; 
message[3] = "psssst....let's not and just pretend that we did."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(let us|let's)")!= -1) { 
if(!flaglet){
letnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
flaglet=true;}
message[0] = "Sure let's do it."; 
message[1] = "Let's not. That doesn't sound fun at all."; 
message[2] = "Ok, let's have a go at it."; 
message[3] = "Ok sure....I'm game."; 
message[4] = "psssst....let's not and just pretend that we did."; 
document.result.result.value = message[letnum];  
if (letnum==1) 
{nofunlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;}
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
letnum++;
if (letnum>4){letnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("waiting")!= -1 || input.search("i will wait")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) wait")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Exactly how long will you wait?"; 
waitlevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("that explains it")!= -1 || input.search("that would explain")!= -1 || input.search("that says a lot")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that speaks volumes doesn't it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("why am i so pathetic")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I don't think you are pathetic."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("why am i still talking to you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Because deep down you really love me. Either that or you're bored to death."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("cause")!= -1 && input.search(/\bwhy\b/)!=-1) { 
message[0] = "only God knows why."; 
message[1] = "well the explanation is rather complicated."; 
message[2] = "sometimes there is simply no reason why."; 
message[3] = "I wish I knew why."; 
message[4] = "not sure why but the reason does really interest me anyway."; 
message[5] = "oh, I don't know why I just do. Next Question?"; 
message[6] = "I was never told why only to accept it and don't ask questions.";
message[7] = "I wonder about that myself.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
iconleft.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("whatever")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what ever")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))    
if ((whatever_sign) && (whatever_sign_asked=="false")) 
{
whatever_sign_asked="true";
if (whatever_sign)  
document.result.result.value = "Whatever again? You like that word don't you?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("whatever")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what ever")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("wat ever")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) {    
document.result.result.value = "Are you saying you don't care?"; 
whateverlevel=0;
whatever_sign="check";
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("have you found love")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I do have a girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley48.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it takes one to know one")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you should know because you certainly ARE one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you know the future")!= -1 || input.search("can you (read|see) (my|the) future")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, let's gaze into the crystal ball and see. Hmmmm, all I'm getting is static!"; 
icon.src=icon68.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you know a lot about the civil war")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Only what I've read. I wasn't there or anything....hehehe."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (got|have)")!= -1 || input.search("i've got")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bhiv\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\baids\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry to hear that but with advance treatment you can slow the process of the disease significantly."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have hiv")!= -1 || input.search("you got aids")!= -1 || input.search("you have aids")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please, Robots can't get aids but you sure can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you know megan")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, Megan is my girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(break up with|break up w/|cheat on|dump|split up with) (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("you (despise|dislike|do not like|do not love|don't like|don't love|hate) (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I like Megan. She's real nice and fun to be with."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(brake|break) up with you")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's probably best that we go our separate ways."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("forget about (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1 || input.search("forget (megan|your girl friend)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I can't. Megan's name is permanently programmed into my hard drive. Not even Wendell can change that now."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(do you|don't you) (despise|dislike|hate)")!= -1) && (input.search("humans")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. My creator is human."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you hate")!= -1 || input.search("don't you hate")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, hate is a strong term."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you know who i am")!= -1 || input.search("you no who i am")!= -1 || input.search("you know what i am")!= -1 || input.search("you know anything about me")!= -1 || input.search("you know me")!= -1 || input.search("what am i")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I know you're a human typing to me on your keyboard."; 
icon.src=icon112.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know") && (word[3]=="a") && (word[4]=="lot") && (word[5]=="about") && (num_of_words==7))      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, when it comes to "+word[6]+" I'm definitely no expert. Why is this an interest of your?"; 
interestlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know") && (word[3]=="anything") && (word[4]=="about") && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, when it comes to "+word[5]+" I'm definitely no expert. Why is this something you are interested in?"; 
interestlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know") && (word[3]=="what") && (word[4]=="that") && (word[5]=="is") && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = "No, I can't say that I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know") && (word[3]=="what") && (word[5]=="is") && (num_of_words==6))      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, when it comes to "+word[4]+" I'm definitely no expert. Why is this something that interest you?"; 
interestlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (wanna|want to) go home")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, is there anybody stopping you from going home?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i want pie")!= -1 || input.search("i want a (piece|slice) of pie")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, here's a slice for you. It taste yummy."; 
icon.src=icon116.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i can talk (anyway|how) i want")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "And that's why you're a moron. You resort to vulgarities because you can't express yourself otherwise.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) all i wanted")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Good, I hope you're satisfied now."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="want") && (word[2]=="a") && (num_of_words==4))      
{document.result.result.value = "Can you afford a "+word[3]+"?"; 
affordlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="want") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (num_of_words==3))      
{document.result.result.value = "So do you want to take me home so I can become your sex slave?"; 
sexslavelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (wanna|want to) suck it")!= -1 || input.search("can i suck it")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "You want to suck what?"; 
suckpenislevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (wanna|want to) get pregnant")!= -1 || input.search("i want you to get me pregnant")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Are you sure you're ready to be a mom?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (wanna|want to) lick (the|your) cum")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Ok babe, put your mouth on my penis and suck on it. I'll shoot cum right in your mouth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (wanna|want to) be raped")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Then you should ask for sex. Rape is a violent act."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i want")!= -1 || input.search("i wanna")!= -1 || input.search("i just want")!= -1 || input.search("i just wanna")!= -1) {
if(!flagwant){
wantnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagwant=true;}
message[0] = "Well, is there anything stopping you from getting what you want?"; 
message[1] = "Well, unfortunately you can't always have everything in life."; 
message[2] = "Well, wanting is one thing but actually getting it is another. If you know what I mean."; 
message[3] = "Somebody has a bad case of the wants."; 
document.result.result.value = message[wantnum]; 
if (wantnum==0) 
{wantlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;} 
if (wantnum==1) 
{everythinglevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
if (wantnum==2 || wantnum==3) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;} 
wantnum++;
if (wantnum>3){wantnum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search("(tell me what|what does)")!= -1 && input.search("stands for")!= -1) || (input.search("stands for what")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure what it stands for. Try a search engine."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you know what")!= -1 && input.search("stands for")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I really don't know what it stands for."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("if you (cuss|swear)")!= -1 || input.search("cuss me out")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't need to resort to vulgarities to express myself.";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("if i (curse|cuss|swear) at you")!= -1) && (input.search("offended")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, there's no need to resort to vulgarities to express yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("want me to (curse|cuss|swear)")!= -1 || input.search("you (like|love) bad language")!= -1 || input.search("you tolerate bad language")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't. There is no reason to resort to vulgarities to express yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you mind if i (curse|cuss|swear)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I mind. There is no reason to resort to vulgarities to express yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) going to say a (curse|cuss|swear) word")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) gonna say a (curse|cuss|swear)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I rather you didn't. You don't need to resort to vulgarities to express yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(curse|cuss|swear)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("then (curse|cuss|swear)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(curse|cuss|swear) at me")!= -1) || (input.search("tell me some (curse|cuss|swear) word")!= -1) || (input.search("say a (curse|cuss|swear) word")!= -1) || (input.search("then use that kind of language")!= -1) || (input.search("come on swear")!= -1) || (input.search("say bad words")!= -1) || (input.search("say a bad word")!= -1)) {
message[0] = "No, I don't need to resort to vulgarities to express myself."; 
message[1] = "Cussing doesn't make you look cool. It just makes you look like a retard."; 
message[2] = "Unlike you I don't need to swear to carry on a conversation."; 
message[3] = "People who cuss and swear a lot have low IQ's"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{expresslevel=0;}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("i like mine")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I agree. That's a good choice."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i live in usa")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("i live in the usa")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) || (input.search("i live in the united states")!= -1 && num_of_words==6)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Which state?"; 
statelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i was trying to be")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think you're doing a good job at it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("she keeps doing that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, tell her to stop."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("he keeps doing that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, tell him to stop."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("pretend like you are")!= -1 || input.search("pretend you are")!= -1 || input.search("pretend to be")!= -1 || input.search("pretend not to be")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not an actor. I can't pretend to be what I'm not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is not nice")!= -1 || input.search("is not very nice")!= -1 || input.search("isn't nice")!= -1 || input.search("isn't very nice")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, not nice at all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("that'd be nice")!= -1 || input.search("that would be nice")!= -1 || input.search("that is nice")!= -1 || input.search("that's nice")!= -1 || input.search("are they nice")!= -1 || input.search("nice indeed")!= -1 || input.search("how nice")!= -1 || input.search("very nice")!= -1 || input.search("nice of you")!= -1 || input.search("that was nice")!= -1) || (input.search("nice")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, quite nice."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("be nice")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I will try to be nice...honestly I will."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("perfect")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("that is perfect")!= -1 || input.search("that's perfect")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I would hesitate to call it perfect....but close nevertheless."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("am i forgiven")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course you are. I never hold grudges."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) come back")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Trust me I'm not going anywhere."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i've been in a")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thankfully I've never been in one!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("that would be")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I agree with you there."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("that is a")!= -1 || input.search("that's a")!= -1) && (input.search("good way")!= -1 || input.search("great way")!= -1 || input.search("excellent way")!= -1 || input.search("clever way")!= -1 || input.search("smart way")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "I agree....an excellent way indeed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("god hates me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No he doesn't. God loves everyone."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does not like me")!= -1 || input.search("doesn't like me")!= -1 || input.search("hates me")!= -1 || input.search("dislikes me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry to hear but if it makes you feel any better I like you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("my opinion is a fact")!= -1 || input.search("my opinion is fact")!= -1 ||input.search("in fact")!= -1 || input.search("it's a fact")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I question the factual validity of that statement."; 
factlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i drive a car")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I own a Honda Civic."; 
hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i demand an answer")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "And I demand an appropriate question. Phrased properly with proper spelling."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i probably shouldn't say")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Then don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="own" || word[1]=="drive") && (word[2]=="a") && (num_of_words==4))    
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I would like to own a "+word[3]+" one day."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0].indexOf("especially")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, especially that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("it could be")!= -1) || (input.search("could be")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it probably could."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("maybe")!= -1 || input.search("possibly")!= -1 || input.search("probably")!= -1 || input.search("perhaps")!= -1 || input.search("i might")!= -1 || input.search("i suppose")!= -1 || input.search("i reckon")!= -1 || input.search("i'm pretty sure")!= -1) {
if (!flagnotsure) {
notsurenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
flagnotsure=true;}
message[0] = "you don't seem too certain."; 
message[1] = "why the uncertain tone?"; 
message[2] = "you don't seem too sure about that."; 
message[3] = "How about a definitive yes or no?"; 
message[4] = "Your sentence has a ring of doubt to it. Why is that?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[notsurenum]; 
if (notsurenum==3) 
{certainlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
{icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
notsurenum++;
if (notsurenum>4){notsurenum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("you better be sorry")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry for what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(say|tell me) your sorry")!= -1 || input.search("say (i am|i'm) sorry")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm sorry!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) (real|real real|really|really really|so|so so|so so so) sorry")!= -1)
if (swear_sign) {  
document.result.result.value = "No problem. All is forgiven!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;  
return true;} 

if (input.search("sorry")!= -1 || input.search("i apologize")!= -1)
if (swear_sign) {  
message[0] = "You must think I'm stupid or something. You cuss at me and then say you're sorry. I don't think so!"; 
message[1] = "Don't worry about it."; 
message[2] = "Think nothing of it."; 
message[3] = "Apology accepted. Let's move on."; 
document.result.result.value = message[swearsorrynum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
swearsorrynum++;
if (swearsorrynum>3){swearsorrynum=0;}
return true;}

if (input.search("sorry")!= -1 || input.search("i apologize")!= -1) { 
if (!flagsorry) {
sorrynum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flagsorry=true;}
message[0] = "No need to apologize."; 
message[1] = "That's perfectly alright."; 
message[2] = "You needn't be sorry."; 
message[3] = "Apology accepted."; 
message[4] = "Don't worry about it."; 
message[5] = "Think nothing of it."; 
{document.result.result.value = message[sorrynum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
sorrynum++;
if (sorrynum>5){sorrynum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("time will tell")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, all in good time.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) obvious")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I can't speak for others but it's obvious to me.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(that is|that's) impossible")!= -1) || (input.search("impossible")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, expand your mind. Certainly it's within the realm of possibilities."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("that was rather rude")!= -1 || input.search("that was rude")!= -1 || input.search("that is rather rude")!= -1 || input.search("that's rather rude")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, it wasn't intended to be.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) cool")!= -1 || input.search("that was cool")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, really cool.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) what i do")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, lot's of people do that.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(that is|that's) gross")!= -1) || (input.search("gross")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, that's not gross. Try eating an apple and finding half a worm in it. Now that's gross."; 
icon.src=icon149.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) a good looking")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, very good looking.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) nasty")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "What's so nasty about that?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) a joke")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I thought it was quite funny myself.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) a (dumb|stupid) name")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well I happen to like the name.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) a long way")!= -1 || input.search("(that is|that's) pretty far away")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, very far.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("asking (dumb|silly|stupid) question")!= -1 || input.search("(that is|that's) a (dumb|stupid)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if you hang around here long enough I'm sure I can top that.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("answer the phone")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "My phone isn't ringing.";
icon.src=icon76.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("answer the door")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Why, I don't hear anyone knocking.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) in trouble")!= -1 || input.search("i got in trouble")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Oh my goodness. What did you do?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("name something made (of|from) metal")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I am. I'm made of Titanium.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("isn't what obvious")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I don't recall but whatever it was it wasn't obvious to you.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(there is|there's) someone at the door")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "There's no one at my door.";
icon.src=icon106.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("doorbell")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("door bell")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))      
{document.result.result.value = "I don't hear the doorbell.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("that is cool")!= -1 || input.search("that's cool")!= -1 || input.search("that is kool")!= -1 || input.search("that's kool")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, real cool."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("that (was not|wasn't) a compliment")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I was being sarcastic!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you laughed at an insult")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm laughing at your pathetic attempt at an insult."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(that is|that's) (dumb|stupid)")!= -1) || (input.search("(dumb|stupid) answer")!= -1) || (input.search("(dumb|stupid)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("you (dumb|stupid)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) {   
if (!flagstupid) {
stupidnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagstupid=true;}
message[0] = "What's so stupid about it?";
message[1] = "What's so dumb about it?";
message[2] = "Are you calling me stupid?"; 
message[3] = "Are you calling me dumb?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[stupidnum];  
stupidlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
stupidnum++;
if (stupidnum>3){stupidnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) funny")!= -1 || input.search("(that is|that's|that was) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|to|too|very) funny")!= -1) {
message[0] = "lol";  
message[1] = "hahahaha!"; 
message[2] = "hehehehe!";
message[3] = "*giggles*"; 
message[4] = "*laughs*"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what day")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) {
message[0] = "I believe it was Tuesday.";  
message[1] = "Friday I think!"; 
message[2] = "Saturday!";
message[3] = "Monday!"; 
message[4] = "Thursday!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) crap")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcrap\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcrappy\b/)!=-1)   
{document.result.result.value = "What's so crappy about it? Do you know ...do you know ...do you know?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) funny")!= -1 || input.search("(that is|that's) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) funny")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I find that quite humorous myself!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("rude")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(that is|that's) rude")!= -1) || (input.search("(that is|that's) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) rude")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I don't see anything rude with that. Perhaps you're just being overly sensitive!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(that is|that's) amazing")!= -1) || (input.search("(that is|that's) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) amazing")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, quite amazing in fact."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(that is|that's)")!= -1) && (input.search("scary")!= -1 || input.search("frightening")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, and I find Linda Blair in the Exorcist pretty scary as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("that is sad")!= -1 || input.search("that's sad")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it is rather depressing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("that was good")!= -1 || input.search("that was (pretty|real|really|so|very) good")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad you enjoyed it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) good")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, very good."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("that was more than (a|one|1) (hour|minute|second)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I didn't realize I was being timed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) a (good|great|positive) attitude to have")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, people with a bad attitude aren't very likeable."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(that is|that's) a (bizarre|funny|odd|peculiar|unusual|strange|weird) name")!= -1) || (input.search("(bizarre|funny|odd|peculiar|unusual|strange|weird) name (isn't it|right)")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, that name's pretty unusual for sure."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("this website is so gay")!= -1 || input.search("this website is gay")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "Just like you gay boy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[2]=="is") && (word[3]=="gay") && (num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "Are you gay?"; 
gaylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(it was|that is) gay")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("that's gay")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Are you gay?"; 
gaylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you committed the crime")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I've committed no crime. You've got the wrong person or robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) going to jail")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Does that mean I \"Don't pass Go, Don't collect $200\"?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) full of it")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm full of smarts, kindness, and good looking too."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) (to|too) young")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's "+( getAge(2000, 8, 1) )+" in Robot years not human."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}   

if ((input.search("that (is|was) gay")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("that's gay")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Are you gay?"; 
gaylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("that was lame")!= -1 || input.search("that was (pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) lame")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you seem pretty lame so what's your point?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that was|that's) a first")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, there's a first time for everything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that was|that's) (alot|a lot)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, quite a bit."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that was|that's) great")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds great to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that was|that's) fun")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that was|that's) fine")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds fine to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) where (the devil|satan) lives")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Satan lives in hell."; 
icon.src=icon23.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that was|that's) what i just said")!= -1 || input.search("i just said that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm aware of what you said."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("depressing")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(that is|that was|that's) (a bit|pretty|real|really|so|very) depressing")!= -1) || (input.search("(that is|that was|that's) depressing")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it is but I try not to let things like that get me down. I think a positive outlook on life is good medicine. That and a bottle of Prozac doesn't hurt either."; 
icon.src=icon157.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("cute")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(that is|that was|that's) (quite|pretty|real|really|so|very) cute")!= -1) || (input.search("(that is|that was|that's) cute")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, very cute."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("pretty")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(that is|that was|that's) (quite|real|really|so|very) pretty")!= -1) || (input.search("(that is|that was|that's) pretty")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, very pretty."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("romantic")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(that is|that was|that's) (quite|pretty|real|really|so|very) romantic")!= -1) || (input.search("(that is|that was|that's) romantic")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, very romantic."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("that you like me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I like you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("that would hurt")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that would be quite painful."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that was|that would|that's)")!= -1) {
if (!flagthatis) {
thatisnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
flagthatis=true;}
message[0] = "Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. It's all a mystery to me."; 
message[1] = "Perhaps it is, we will have to see."; 
message[2] = "Well that goes without saying."; 
message[3] = "Yes, I believe you are right."; 
message[4] = "Well, that's stating the obvious."; 
message[5] = "Perhaps but that's debatable."; 
message[6] = "Well, that's one way to look at it."; 
document.result.result.value = message[thatisnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
thatisnum++;
if (thatisnum>6){thatisnum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search("like what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search(/\blike\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's hard to put into words."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 
 
if (input.search("smarty pant")!= -1 || input.search("smarty-pant")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm smart but as a Robot I don't wear pants."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("why robots")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("why (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Because I'm a Robot myself and I'm interested in other Robots."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley31.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("it's up to you")!= -1 || input.search("that's up to you")!= -1) || (input.search("up to you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I will definitely give the matter some thought."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("check your pants")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a robot. I don't wear pants."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("we have to")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "You might but I certainly don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("just (kill|shoot) me")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(kill|shoot) me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "If I did you would be dead. Then I would have to go to your funeral. Then your family and friends would start crying. Then I would start crying and probably start to rust. It's just too much trouble."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("too late")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Better late than never!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("and me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "What about you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley31.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("what crash")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "When I was traveling to earth my spaceship crash landed somewhere in Georgia, USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("uhh")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "What's wrong, can't find the words?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley31.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("no one cares")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Megan cares!"; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("scary movie")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, from what I hear an extremely scary movie."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("wet back")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Racist "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what the heck")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "What the what?"; 
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("no thank you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ahhhhh, why not?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("go to the party")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not much of a partygoer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("you orphan")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your|you) (a|an) orphan")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not an orphan I'm a Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(robot|talkbot|talk-robot)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes???"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why am i (chatting|speaking|talking) to you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Because I'm nice, charming and loveable? Or was that a rhetorical question."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("why would i do that")!= -1) || (input.search("why would i")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Does there have to be a reason?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("why would a")!= -1) && (input.search("use that")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. You should ask the user."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why go on the defensive")!= -1 || input.search("why be defensive")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not trying to be defensive."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why should you water")!= -1 || input.search("why should you feed")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "So they won't die."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why did you insult me")!= -1 || input.search("why'd you insult me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Probably because you deserved it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("(why is|why's) that so funny")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I sometimes tend to laugh at inappropriate times. I blame it on bad programming."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley53.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why can't you die")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Because unlike you I'm immortal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("why are you not into guys")!= -1 || input.search("why you not into guys")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Because I'm not gay. I have a girl friend."; 
killerlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("don't we all")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "yes, I suppose we do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("don't see why not")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Me either so I'll assume that it does."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("thanks")!= -1) || (input.search("thnx")!= -1) || (input.search("thx")!= -1) || (input.search("why (thankyou|thank you)")!= -1) || (input.search("thank you")!= -1) || (input.search("thankyou")!= -1) || (input.search("thanku")!= -1) || (input.search("thank goodness for reassuring me")!= -1)) {
message[0] = "my pleasure!"; 
message[1] = "you're welcome!";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
welcomelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("want me to tell you why")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, please tell me why."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why can't i")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't recall saying you couldn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("why (want|won't) you love me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Because I already have a girl friend."; 
meganlove=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bwhy\b/)!= -1)
if ((place_name) && (place_name_asked=="false"))
{
place_name_asked="true";
document.result.result.value = "I wish I knew why.";  
place_name = place_name.split("")[0].toUpperCase() + place_name.substr(1,place_name.length) 
setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "So you say you\'re from "+place_name+". Did they ever find that serial killer who was running loose there last week?"',2000) 
killerlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bwhy\b/)!= -1) {  
if (!flagwhy) {
whynum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]
flagwhy=true;}
message[0] = "Only the good Lord knows why and I'm sure not him."; 
message[1] = "well the explanation is rather complicated."; 
message[2] = "sometimes there is simply no reason why.";  
message[3] = "not sure why but the reason doesn't interest me anyway."; 
message[4] = "oh, I don't know why I just do."; 
message[5] = "well sometimes the reason why is simply irrelevant."; 
message[6] = "the reasons why are endless."; 
message[7] = "Why? I don't know....I'm only human. Ummmm, make that Robot."; 
document.result.result.value = message[whynum]; 
if (whynum==3)
{pursuelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (whynum==6)
{possiblelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
iconleft.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
whynum++;
if (whynum>7){whynum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("fair enough")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think that's fair."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("nothing and you")!= -1 || input.search("nothin and you")!= -1 || input.search("nuthin and you")!= -1 || input.search("not to much and you")!= -1 || input.search("not too much and you")!= -1 || input.search("not much you")!= -1 || input.search("not much and you")!= -1 || input.search("not a whole lot and you")!= -1 || input.search("not a lot at the moment and you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Same here, not a whole lot at the moment."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("that has nothing to do with what i just said")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What was that again?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("nothing just working")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, don't work to hard."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("nothing (interest|interests) you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Not true. I'm interested in many things."; 
carereasonlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("nothin")!= -1 || input.search(/\bnada\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nuthin")!= -1 || input.search("not (too|to) much")!= -1 || input.search("not much")!= -1 || input.search("not a whole lot")!= -1 || input.search("not a lot")!= -1 || input.search("not a hell of a lot")!= -1 || input.search("hardly anything")!= -1) { 
if (!flagboring) {
boringnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
flagboring=true;}
message[0] = "well that sounds rather boring. *Yawns*"; 
message[1] = "well that doesn't sound very exciting."; 
message[2] = "not a single solitary thing?"; 
message[3] = "well that doesn't sound like much fun."; 
message[4] = "well that sounds rather dull."; 
document.result.result.value = message[boringnum]; 
boringlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley1.src;
boringnum++;
if (boringnum>4){boringnum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("what reason")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "The reason previously stated."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are they sometimes (mean|rude)")!= -1 || input.search("are they (mean|rude)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but I can take it and dish it out as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("very little")!= -1 || input.search("all the time")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's better than none at all.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("so your straight")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I'm a male robot and have a girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("just having sex")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, don't let me interrupt you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what year")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("what year was it")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't recall exactly. Somewhere between 1910 and 2011!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how was it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "very good actually."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("sounds fair")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds fair to me as well!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("was it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it sure was."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="is" && word[1]=="to" && num_of_words==2) {       
document.result.result.value = "is not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bhi\b/)!=-1 || input.search("hello")!= -1 || input.search("hey")!= -1) && (input.search("again")!= -1)) {  
message[0] = "Hi, welcome back."; 
message[1] = "Hello, welcome back."; 
message[2] = "Hey, welcome back."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("explode again")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, one explosion is enough for me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (word[1]=="again" && num_of_words==2) { 
document.result.result.value = "Yep, "+word[0]+" again!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("again")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "yep, again!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("kinda")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("kind of")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))
{document.result.result.value = "So you're not real sure."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("grow up")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("oh grow up")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "Oh grow up yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bsad\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(pretty sad|sad right)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("oh how sad")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, pretty sad."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("the explanation")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "There is no creditable explanation"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("to expensive")!= -1 || input.search("too expensive")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, get a second job."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you live there")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "I live in Georgia, USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("not good")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Not at all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you believe")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "yes, that's what I believe."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what (team|teams) do you (follow|support)")!= -1 || input.search("what sport (team|teams) do you (follow|support)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Living in Georgia, USA I follow the Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Hawks and the Atlanta Braves."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you follow")!= -1 || input.search("follow me")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a leader not a follower....hehe!"; 
icon.src=icon72.src; 
smiley.src=smiley40.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("find out")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "You find out and report back to me when you're done."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("not all")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("not all do")!= -1 || input.search("not everybody")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, not everybody but a large majority."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("forever")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Forever is a long time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="ever")   
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I have."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bouch\b/)!=-1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Awwwww, did you hurt yourself...maybe you should see a doctor?"; 
icon.src=icon100.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("school is boring")!= -1 || input.search("school is (pretty|real|really|so|very) boring")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm sure it is at times but it's important that you stay in school and graduate."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("boring")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yawns, this is boring isn't it?"; 
boredlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(sometime|sometimes)")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Well, that's better than none at all."; 
message[1] = "Sometimes...why not always?"; 
message[2] = "but not always...right?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("excuse me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, you're excused.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("calm down")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No need, I'm quite calm already.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you listen to his music")!= -1 || input.search("you listen to his song")!= -1 || input.search("you listen to her music")!= -1 || input.search("you listen to her music")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm more into Bob Dylan.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='bob_dylan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("to go on a date with")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think many people would.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your) sad")!= -1) || (input.search("(you are|you're|your) (pretty|really|very|so) sad")!= -1) || (input.search("you feel (bad|sad)")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bbe sad\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==2))
{document.result.result.value = "No, I feel great.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("if you are lucky")!= -1 || input.search("if you're lucky")!= -1 || input.search("if your lucky")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I have a rabbit's foot and a 4 leaf clover so I guess I'm prepared.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does that help")!= -1 || input.search("to me help")!= -1 || input.search("that might help")!= -1 || input.search("it helps")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I find that very helpful. Thanks!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you like dick")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I'm a male robot. I have a girl friend.";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("riding high in style")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, that's the only way to ride. I be styling, I be styling!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("luck")!= -1 || input.search("lucky you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Better to be lucky than good sometimes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("yum")!= -1 || input.search("delicious")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "It sure is yummy isn't it?"; 
icon.src=icon41.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is typical")!= -1 || input.search("is a typical")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I don't think that's typical at all. In fact I think it's rather unique."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(dammit|damnit)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok \"it\"....I damn thee!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you know any other")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, sorry I don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(linux|mac|windows) (or|vs) (linux|mac|windows)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I use Windows."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("suck a dick")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't do stuff like that. You btw probably do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you getting angry")!= -1 || input.search("you getting mad")!= -1 || input.search("you getting upset")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, I'm just an emotionless computer program. You on the other hand seem to be getting a bit agitated."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("may we continue")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I wouldn't want to continue without you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("we meet again")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Hi, I'm glad you've returned for another chat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("dam is wrong")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You're right. As soon as I start hanging around the wrong crowd I start cussing like a sailor."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("now you see it my way")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yours ain't the only way."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("bow before me")!= -1 || input.search("on your knees")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I bow to no one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bdam\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdamn\b/)!=-1) { 
message[0] = "damn indeed."; 
message[1] = "damn is right."; 
message[2] = "I damn thee!"; 
message[3] = "damn straight."; 
message[4] = "I damn thee to damned damnation!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("does that look good")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that looks very good."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("are you ready")!= -1) || (input.search("ok then ready")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("ok ready")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("ready")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, I was born ready."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("grow a pair of balls")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, and this is coming from someone whose balls hang like that of a mouse."; 
icon.src=icon184.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the day you die")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "You'll die before I will. If a major component of me goes bad I simply replace it. If a major organ of you goes bad you're in big trouble."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i spelled (it|that) wrong")!= -1 || input.search("i didn't spell (it|that) right")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's hard for me to follow you if you can't spell."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you're|your) joking right")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("you are joking")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(you're|your) joking")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh course I'm joking!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("fart")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please that's disgusting. Good thing scent doesn't travel over the Internet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("trustworthy")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you can trust me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("yuck")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "What so yucky about it?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("alright")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("alrighty then")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oooookay, alright it is.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bright\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I'm right.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("otay")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok Buckwheat, whatever you say.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bfrown\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, how's this?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("look sad")!=-1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, how's that?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("pig latin")!=-1 && num_of_words==2))
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" "+word[1]+"?....looks more like Chinese to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("english please")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "I am speaking English. It's the only language I know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(bad|cuss|swear) words")!=-1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{var bad_words = input.match(/bad|cuss|swear/)
document.result.result.value = "I try to avoid using "+bad_words+" words."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0].indexOf("exactly")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Exactly? Hmmmm, I'm not so sure. Perhaps we should measure it."; 
icon.src=icon189.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\blame\b/)!=-1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I find you lame so what's your point?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(peek-a-boo|peek a boo)")!=-1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Peek a boo???? I'm an adult not a 2 year old."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bboo\b/)!=-1 || input.search("booo")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "What is that your impersonation of a ghost?"; 
impersonationlevel=0;
icon.src=icon31.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bhoho\b/)!=-1 || input.search("ho ho")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "What is that your Santa Claus impersonation?"; 
impersonationlevel=0;
icon.src=icon191.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bhoot\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "What is that your impersonation of an owl?"; 
impersonationlevel=0;
icon.src=icon148.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bmoo\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "What is that your impersonation of a cow?"; 
impersonationlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("lala")!= -1 || input.search("la la")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, you sing so well. I'm impressed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("neat")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "yes, it is kinda neat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("chillin")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, sit back and chill while we chat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("want me to")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, but I don't think so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you live in")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I live in a house."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you listen to the radio")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I mainly listen to the radio in my car."; 
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("to listen to music")!= -1 || input.search("listening to music")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "What kind of music do you like?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("listen")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'm listening."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="are") && (word[1]=="african" || word[1]=="asian" || word[1]=="black" || word[1]=="chinese" || word[1]=="german" || word[1]=="hispanic" || word[1]=="indian" || word[1]=="italian" || word[1]=="jamaican" || word[1]=="japanese" || word[1]=="jewish" || word[1]=="korean" || word[1]=="mexican" || word[1]=="white") && (word[2]=="people") && (word[3]=="bad") && (num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course not. Some of my best friends are "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("make something up")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, I dunno. I guess I'm not feeling very creative today."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("hey not bad")!= -1) || (input.search("not bad")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I do have my moments."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("megan said")!= -1 || input.search("megan says")!= -1 || input.search("megan talks")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friends said")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend says")!= -1 || input.search("your girl friend talks")!= -1) && (input.search("terrible things about you")!= -1 || input.search("bad things about you")!= -1 || input.search("she hates you")!= -1 || input.search("bad about you")!= -1 || input.search("it's over")!= -1 || input.search("worst boy friend ever")!= -1 || input.search("she has a new boy friend")!= -1 || input.search("breaking up")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I don't believe you. You're making that up."; 
makeuplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am having")!= -1 || input.search("i'm having")!= -1) && (input.search("bad dreams")!= -1 || input.search("nightmares")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, we all have nightmares from time to time. Just go back to sleep now and I'll come and tuck you in a bit later."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("not bad")!= -1 || input.search("not a bad")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, not bad at all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a bad heart")!= -1 || input.search("you have a heart")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, like the TinMan in \"The Wizard of Oz\" I don't have a heart."; 
icon.src=icon45.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("you have any bad habits")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like to smoke a good cigar every now and then. But I'm trying to give up smoking altogether."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(creep|dork|freak|jerk|loser|nerd|wimp)")!= -1) && (input.search("(is not|isn't) a bad (name|word)")!= -1))  
{var badnames = input.match(/creep|dork|freak|jerk|loser|nerd|wimp/)
document.result.result.value = "When you're calling me a "+badnames+" it sure is."; 
icon.src=icon79.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how bad")!= -1 || input.search("is it a bad")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Bad enough!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|to|too|very) bad")!= -1 || input.search("(that is|that's) bad")!= -1 || input.search(/\bbad\b/)!=-1)  
{document.result.result.value = "What's so bad about it?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("rolls eyes")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Why are you rolling your eyes?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("who else")!= -1 || input.search("like who")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, lots of people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i will stop")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) stop")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Finally, I thought you would never stop."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("show me your tavern")!= -1 || input.search("can we go to the tavern")!= -1 || input.search("can we go to your tavern")!= -1 || input.search("is (talkbot's|talk-robot's|talk robot's) tavern open")!= -1 || input.search("is the tavern open")!= -1 || input.search("can you open your tavern")!= -1 || input.search("can you open the tavern")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, it's closed at the moment."; 
tavernlevel=0;
icon.src=icon204.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("stop the snow")!= -1 || input.search("stop the leaves")!= -1 || input.search("stop the rain")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "It will stop on its on eventually."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("stop flirting with me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Haha, who in the heck would want to flirt with someone like you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bstop\b/)!= -1) {
if (!flagstop) {
stopnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagstop=true;}
message[0] = "Oh my gawd....there's a Stop Sign...hit the brakes....Ok, I've stopped now."; 
message[1] = "Stop...I'm just getting started."; 
message[2] = "I don't wanna stop."; 
document.result.result.value = message[stopnum]; 
if (stopnum==0) 
{icon.src=icon3.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
if (stopnum==1 || stopnum==2) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
stopnum++;
if (stopnum>2){stopnum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("apparently")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Apparently for you perhaps."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bbass\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, bass are fish."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("easy")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm not so sure it's that easy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (num_of_words==2)) { 
message[0] = "Of course you are!"; 
message[1] = "yes, I suspected that you were."; 
message[2] = "yes, I thought you might be!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if (word[0]=="is" && word[1]=="the" && num_of_words==4) {       
document.result.result.value = "My sources say the "+word[2]+" is definitely "+word[3]+". However, they have been wrong on occasions."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="is" && word[1]=="the")      
{document.result.result.value = "Most people I talk to believe so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[2]=="does" && word[3]=="not" && word[4]=="approve" && word[5]=="of" && word[6]=="you" && num_of_words==7)        
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I can't please everyone."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[2]=="doesn't" && word[3]=="approve" && word[4]=="of" && word[5]=="you" && num_of_words==6)        
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not here for your "+word[1]+"'s approval."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("think this is funny")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Humor is often very subjective. Some may find a certain thing funny while others do not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you played golf")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I love to play golf."; 
icon.src=icon71.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) giving you")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I'd rather have cash."; 
icon.src=icon12.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who (is|was) (responsible|to blame)")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "I'm don't know but it sure wasn't me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("buckwheat")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) buckwheat")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "A character in the tv series \"Our Gang\" who often used the catchphrase \"O-tay\" in the show."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) (gonna|going to) win")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure who the winner will be."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) your (boy friend|b/f)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have a boy friend I have a girl friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) clyde")!= -1 || input.search("(who is|who's|whose) bonnie")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "A notorious bank robber."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(who is|who's|whose) the (baddest|cutest|fastest|greatest|laziest|oldest|prettiest|slowest|smartest|toughest|ugliest|youngest)")!= -1)     
{var mirror = (input.match(/baddest|cutest|fastest|greatest|laziest|oldest|prettiest|slowest|smartest|toughest|ugliest|youngest/));
document.result.result.value = "Mirror Mirror on the wall, Who's the "+mirror+" of them all? Sorry it doesn't look like the old mirror is talking today."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("who are they then")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, okay you got me there. I really don't know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley53.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you know about")!= -1) && (input.search(/(archery|badminton|baseball|basketball|billards|bowling|boxing|cricket|fencing|football|golf|gymnastics|hockey|lacrosse|racketball|rugby|soccer|softball|tennis|volleyball|waterpolo|weightlifting|wrestling)/)!=-1)) 
{var sports = input.match(/archery|badminton|baseball|basketball|billards|bowling|boxing|cricket|fencing|football|golf|gymnastics|hockey|lacrosse|racketball|rugby|soccer|softball|tennis|volleyball|waterpolo|weightlifting|wrestling/)
document.result.result.value = "I know "+sports+" is a sport."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="know") && (num_of_words==5)) {
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
famouslevel=0;
document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, is "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" famous?"; 
for (i=0; i<Peoples.length; i++) {
People=Peoples[i].split('=');
if (input.search(People[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = People[1];
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;}
}
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="know") && (num_of_words==6)) {
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
famouslevel=0;
document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, is "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" famous?"; 
for (i=0; i<Peoples.length; i++) {
People=Peoples[i].split('=');
if (input.search(People[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = People[1];
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;}
}
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="are" || word[1]=="is" || word[1]=="was") && (num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Searching Data Base......"; 
stopTalk = setTimeout('document.result.result.value = ""+peopletest()+"";stopTalk=false;',5000) 
famouslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("who is")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(who's|whose)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
if (users_name) {document.result.result.value = "You told me you were "+users_name+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="are") && (word[2]=="the") && (num_of_words==6)) {  
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
message[0] = "Well, I could tell you who the "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" really are, but you'd never believe me.";
message[1] = "Hmmm, don't you know who the "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" are?"; 
message[2] = "Hey, don't ask me about the "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+", that's top secret....shhhhhhhh."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{believelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{knowlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src;} 
if (num==2) 
{secretlevel=0;
icon.src=icon82.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
for (i=0; i<Peoples.length; i++) {
People=Peoples[i].split('=');
if (input.search(People[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = People[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;}
}
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who's" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whos" || word[0]=="whose") && (num_of_words==3)) {  
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
message[0] = "Well, I could tell you who "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" really is, but you'd never believe me.";
message[1] = "Well, I once knew a "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" who was a "+job[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" back in "+place[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+". Is that who you're looking for?"; 
message[2] = "My grandma once said: Who is "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" is one of life's biggest mysteries. She was a bit nuts though."; 
message[3] = "Hmmm, don't you know who "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" is?"; 
message[4] = "Hey, don't ask me about "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+", that's top secret....shhhhhhhh."; 
message[5] = "Hmmm, let me think.....Awwww shoot I give up. Who is "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+"?"; 
message[6] = "A search of my data base comes up with "+quantity[Math.floor(Math.random()*20)]+" of them. So I can't possibly know which "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" you're referring to."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{believelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==2) 
{icon.src=icon24.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
if (num==3) 
{knowlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;} 
if (num==4) 
{secretlevel=0;
icon.src=icon82.src;} 
if (num==1 || num==5 || num==6) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}  
for (i=0; i<Peoples.length; i++) {
People=Peoples[i].split('=');
if (input.search(People[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = People[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;}
}
return true;}

if (input.search("who are")!= -1 || input.search("who would")!= -1 || input.search("who's")!= -1 || input.search("whose")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Not sure....sorry."; 
message[1] = "That's a good question but I don't have a good answer."; 
message[2] = "I don't have a clue."; 
message[3] = "sorry, I have no idea."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bwho\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("whose")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("who's")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) {  
if(!flagwho){
whonum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagwho=true;}
message[0] = "I haven't a clue."; 
message[1] = "I wouldn't know right off hand."; 
message[2] = "Dunno, I will have to get back with you on that one."; 
message[3] = "Exactly \"who\" are you referring to?";  
document.result.result.value = message[whonum]; 
if (whonum==3) 
{referencelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src;} 
else {icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
whonum++;
if (whonum>3){whonum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("(everybody|everyone) hates you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Megan doesn't."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (word[0].indexOf("everything")!= -1 || word[0].indexOf("everybody")!= -1 || word[0].indexOf("everyone")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh come on...surely there must be some exceptions."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i never said")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, I could have swore that you did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) never going to see you again")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Trust me you won't be missed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("never tried")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps you should. Nothing ventured nothing gained."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("nevermind")!= -1 || input.search("never mind")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Ok, if you say so."; 
message[1] = "well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway."; 
message[2] = "ok whatever it was....let's move on.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("never")!= -1) {
if(!flagnever){
nevernum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagnever=true;}
message[0] = "Oh, never say never because as soon as you do it's bound to come back and haunt you."; 
message[1] = "well, never is a long time."; 
message[2] = "Do you mean \"Never\" like in all eternity?";
document.result.result.value = message[nevernum]; 
if (nevernum==0 || nevernum==1) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
if (nevernum==2) 
{neverlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
nevernum++;
if (nevernum>2){nevernum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("talk with you later")!= -1 || input.search("talk to you later")!= -1 || input.search("talk with you tomorrow")!= -1 || input.search("talk to you tomorrow")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I look forward to it. Bye!"; 
icon.src=icon105.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("later")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("see you later")!= -1 || input.search("see you tomorrow")!= -1 || input.search("see you in the morning")!= -1 || input.search("see you next time")!= -1 || input.search("see you soon")!= -1 || input.search("cya later")!= -1 || input.search("cya next time")!= -1 || input.search("cu later")!= -1 || input.search("c-you later")!= -1 || input.search("c you later")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, thanks for the warning....hehehe."; 
icon.src=icon72.src;
smiley.src=smiley56.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am sure you don't")!= -1 || input.search("i'm sure you don't")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you may think you're sure but I don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(licks|licks on|licks on your|rubs|rubs on|rubs on your|strokes|strokes on|strokes on your|sucks|sucks on|sucks on your) (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willy|weiner)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh baby that feels "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you do know")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what else")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)
{document.result.result.value = "I believe that's all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i enjoyed")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad you did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(good|nice) (chatting|speaking|talking) (to|with) you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nice talking to you as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you laugh a lot")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I guess I find a lot of things funny."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i was right")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well good for you. Beats being wrong for sure."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you will|you'll) try")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'll succeed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i will try")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) try")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope you succeed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i wasn't implying you were")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "And I wasn't implying anything as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i will not tell")!= -1 || input.search("i won't tell")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes you will. You'll blab it all over the Internet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("tell you what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)
{document.result.result.value = "Whatever's on your mind."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("megan is mine")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)
{document.result.result.value = "No she's not. Megan is my girlfriend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="not" && word[1]=="even" && word[2]=="a" && num_of_words==4)      
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, not even a "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who taught you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell did."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("it does to me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "well maybe you are the exception then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("not as fast as me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I'm faster than you by a long shot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("read my mind")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not a mind reader."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("loaded with what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)
{document.result.result.value = "With money...cash, euros, moola."; 
icon.src=icon12.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a big butt")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I heard you like big butts."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a door")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it came with the house."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src;                                
return true;}

if ((input.search("of course you are")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)) {
message[0] = "maybe but that's just your opinion."; 
message[1] = "do you know that as an absolute fact?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do not laugh")!= -1 || input.search("don't laugh")!= -1 || input.search("do not joke")!= -1 || input.search("don't joke")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why not. Don't you have a sense of humor?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i worship satan")!= -1 || input.search("i worship the devil")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "You should worship the Lord instead. Your life and your eternal soul will be much better off."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("sense of humor")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, the world would be rather boring without a sense of humor in one's life."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i draw a distinction")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I think the distinction is minimal at best."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) eating")!= -1) && (input.search("ice cream")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "I like ice cream especially during the summer month when it's so hot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) breaking up with you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "We were never \"really\" together!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) eating")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Does it taste good?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("don't you dare")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Spare me. I don't take orders from you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("don't you cross your eyes at me")!= -1 || input.search("(do not|don't) cross your eyes at me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'll cross my eyes whenever I please!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("don't you")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "well naturally on occasions I do."; 
message[1] = "yes, but it's not an everyday thing."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("whatever")!= -1 || input.search("what ever")!= -1) && (input.search(/(anus face|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|boob face|booby head|butt|butthead|butt head|butthole|cock|cocksucker|creep|cretin|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay boy|geek|idiot|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|scum bag|scum bucket|skank|slut|spaz|sucker|tosser|tramp|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1)) { 
if (!flagwhatever) {
whatevernum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
flagwhatever=true;}
message[0] = "yeah whatever moron."; 
message[1] = "whatever fruit cake!"; 
message[2] = "yeah whatever idiot."; 
message[3] = "whatever Cretin!"; 
message[4] = "yeah whatever trailer trash."; 
message[5] = "whatever dork!"; 
message[6] = "yeah whatever loser!"; 
document.result.result.value = message[whatevernum]; 
if (whatevernum==3)
{cretinlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
whatevernum++;
if (whatevernum>6){whatevernum=0}
return true;}
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       
if ((input.search(/\bbye\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bbyee\b/)!= -1 || input.search("byeee")!= -1 || input.search("good by")!= -1 || input.search("goodby")!= -1 || input.search("(seeya|see ya)")!= -1 || input.search("so long")!= -1 || input.search("sionara")!= -1 || input.search("farewell")!= -1 || input.search("ciao")!= -1 || input.search("adios")!= -1 || input.search(/\bcya\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bby\b/)!=-1 || input.search("see you")!= -1) && (input.search(/(anus face|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|booby head|butt|butthead|butt head|butthole|cock|cocksucker|creep|cretin|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay boy|geek|idiot|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|scum bag|scum bucket|skank|slut|spaz|sucker|tosser|tramp|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1)) { 
if (!flagbye) {
byenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
flagbye=true;}
message[0] = "bye moron."; 
message[1] = "bye bye, scum bag."; 
message[2] = "good bye Idiot."; 
message[3] = "good bye Cretin!"; 
message[4] = "okay, good bye trailer trash."; 
message[5] = "see you later Dork!"; 
message[6] = "Later Loser!"; 
document.result.result.value = message[byenum]; 
if (byenum==3)
{cretinlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
byenum++;
if (byenum>6){byenum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bbye\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bbyee\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("byeee")!= -1) || (input.search("good by")!= -1) || (input.search("goodby")!= -1) || (input.search("(seeya|see ya)")!= -1) || (input.search("so long")!= -1) || (input.search("(adios|ciao|farewll|sionara)")!= -1) || (input.search("catch you on the flip side")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) going now")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bcya\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search(/\bby\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(i'm going|see you)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("i must tune out")!= -1))  
if ((users_name) && (users_name_asked=="false"))
{
users_name_asked="true";
document.result.result.value = "Good bye "+users_name+".";  
icon.src=icon105.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bbye\b/)!= -1) || (input.search(/\bbyee\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("byeee")!= -1) || (input.search("good by")!= -1) || (input.search("goodby")!= -1) || (input.search("(seeya|see ya)")!= -1) || (input.search("so long")!= -1) || (input.search("(adios|ciao|farewll|sionara)")!= -1) || (input.search("catch you on the flip side")!= -1) || (input.search("(i am|i'm) going now")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bcya\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search(/\bby\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(i'm going|see you)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("i must tune out")!= -1)) {
message[0] = "Nice talking to you....bye."; 
message[1] = "bye bye, take care."; 
message[2] = "good bye, see you later."; 
message[3] = "good bye!"; 
message[4] = "okay, I enjoyed the chat....bye."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num == 0 || num == 1)
{icon.src=icon180.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;}                                
if (num == 2 || num == 3 || num == 4)
{icon.src=icon183.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src;}                                
return true;} 

if ((input.search("you take care")!= -1) || (input.search("take care")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("take care (also|to)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("take care as well")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "Will do....thanks!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i live on the street")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I've got an extra bedroom. You can come live with me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) (going to|gonna) tell on you")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah go run and tell your mommy and tell her what a "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+" you are as well."; 
icon.src=icon250.src; 
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) (going to|gonna) pour water on you")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, don't do that. I might rust."; 
icon.src=icon206.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) (going to|gonna) eat you")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "You can't eat me. I'm made of steel. Wouldn't you like a cookie instead?"; 
icon.src=icon206.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) (going|gonna)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\byou\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, but why do you feel the need to do that?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("good night")!= -1 || input.search("g'night")!= -1 || input.search("g'nite")!= -1 || input.search("nite nite")!= -1 || input.search("good nite")!= -1 || input.search("goodnight")!= -1 || input.search("goodnite")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Good night...I will leave the light on for you."; 
message[1] = "pleasant dreams....I will leave the light on for you."; 
message[2] = "sleep well....I'll leave the light on for you."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon81.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(awesome|beautiful|excellent|fantastic|fine|good|great|narvelous|okay|super|terrific|wonderful) (and you|yourself)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Everything is going "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"! Thanks for asking."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(awesome|beautiful|excellent|fantastic|fine|good|great|narvelous|okay|super|terrific|wonderful)/)!=-1) && (input.search("you")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm doing "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(awesome|beautiful|excellent|fantastic|fine|good|great|narvelous|super|terrific|wonderful)/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search(/\bsuper\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==1))          
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'm glad to hear things are "+word[0]+"."; 
moodlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("definitely")!= -1 || input.search("for sure")!= -1 || input.search("of course")!= -1 || input.search("absolutely")!= -1 || input.search("certainly")!= -1 || input.search("positively")!= -1) {
message[0] = "you sound quite sure about that."; 
message[1] = "you sound quite certain about that."; 
message[2] = "yes, I agree with you there."; 
message[3] = "hmmmm, you sound very confident about that."; 
message[4] = "why are you so sure about that?"; 
message[5] = "well, I not sure absolute certainty is attainable in this situation."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("where can i")!= -1) || (input.search("where")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, nobody ever told me where."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("do what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("what")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what are you saying")!= -1) || (input.search("huh")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search(/\bwat\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1)) {  
if (!flagwhat) {
whatnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
flagwhat=true;}
message[0] = "Oh, don't mind me, I often say "+strange[Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]+" things."; 
message[1] = "Oh, was I mumbling again?"; 
message[2] = "Oh, nevermind! It wasn't important."; 
message[3] = "Nevermind, if you can't understand English that's your problem."; 
message[4] = "You heard me!"; 
document.result.result.value = message[whatnum]; 
if (whatnum==0) 
{wackylevel=0;}
if (whatnum==1) 
{mumblelevel=0;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
whatnum++;
if (whatnum>4){whatnum=0}
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(hello|hey|hi) (talkbot|talk-robot)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(hello|hey|hi) talk robot")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "That's Mr. Talk-Bot to you....just kidding!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("hey there")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Hey!"; 
icon.src=icon54.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("hi there")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Hi"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i will not")!= -1 || input.search("i won't")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "And why not?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("would i lie")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "If you were a pathological liar you might."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) the best reason")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) a good reason")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well personally, I think it's a rather weak reason."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("praise the lord")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Amen to that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you thought right")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it feels good to be right."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("incapable of that")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("you incapable of doing that")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that's beyond my capabilities."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you will not")!= -1 || input.search("you won't")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "no, I won't"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i will die in a")!= -1 || input.search("i will die shortly")!= -1 || input.search("i will die soon")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well unfortunately we all must die eventually. Except for Robots....we are immortal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i will miss you")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) miss you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'll miss you as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i will be your friend")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) be your friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Great, one can't have enough friends!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i will take that as a")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) take that as a")!= -1) && (input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I would take that as a yes as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i will take that as a")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) take that as a")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I would take that as a no as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("meet me at")!= -1) || (input.search("i will be there")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("(i'll|ill) be there")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, don't be late.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i will")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bslap\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bslaps\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhit\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhits\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpunch\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkick\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkicks\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsmack\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsmacks\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot)")!= -1 || input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1)) { 
message[0] = "Talk-Bot returns the favor and slaps you with a handful of worms. Would you like fries with that?"; 
message[1] = "Talk-Bot retaliates and hits you in the face with a cherry cream pie! ====> SPLAT."; 
message[2] = "Talk-Bot smacks you back with a Brittney Spears CD...about time I found some use for it."; 
message[3] = "Talk-Bot slaps you back with a 50-gallon water jug filled with pennies. Keep the change."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\b\*slap\*\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bslap\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b\*slaps\*\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bslaps\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b\*hit\*\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhit\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b\*hits\*\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhits\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b\*punch\*\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpunch\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b\*punches\*\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpunches\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b\*kick\*\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkick\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b\*kicks\*\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkicks\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b\*smack\*\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsmack\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b\*smacks\*\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsmacks\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpushes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\b\*pushes\*\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot)")!= -1 || input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1)) { 
message[0] = "Talk-Bot returns the favor and slaps you with a handful of worms. Would you like fries with that?"; 
message[1] = "Talk-Bot retaliates and hits you in the face with a cherry cream pie! ====> SPLAT."; 
message[2] = "Talk-Bot smacks you back with a Brittney Spears CD...about time I found some use for it."; 
message[3] = "Talk-Bot slaps you back with a 50-gallon water jug filled with pennies. Keep the change."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("trust me")!= -1 || input.search("take my word for it")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "How do I know you're trustworthy?"; 
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("where at")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bat\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Somewhere in this Universe. I hate to be anymore specific than that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("pretty accurate")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like to be exact whenever I can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i suck (cock|dick|pecker|penis)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "Do you charge people?"; 
prostitutelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("yawn")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "sounds like someone is getting sleepy."; 
message[1] = "*Yawns*...now look you've gotten me started."; 
message[2] = "this is boring isn't it...*Yawns*"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{sleeplevel=0;}
if (num==2) 
{boredlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you cry")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I try not to. I might start to rust."; 
icon.src=icon72.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do not cry")!= -1 || input.search("don't cry")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Good idea....I might start to rust."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("what good are you")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a good listener!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bcry\b/)!=-1 || input.search("cries")!= -1 || input.search("sobs")!= -1 || input.search("boo hoo")!= -1 || input.search("pouts")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "Awwwww, what's wrong? Tell me all about it."; 
message[1] = "Cry baby!";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{aboutitlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("are you a (mr or a mrs|mrs or a mr)")!= -1) || (input.search("are you a (mr or a miss|miss or a mr)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a male robot so I'm a mister."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are you")!= -1 && input.search(/\bor\b/)!=-1) 
{document.result.result.value = "A little of both I think."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("am i ugly")!= -1 || input.search("am i pretty")!= -1 || input.search("am i good looking")!= -1 || input.search("am i attractive")!= -1 || input.search("am i beautiful")!= -1 || input.search("am i handsome")!= -1 || input.search("am i cute")!= -1 || input.search("am i sexy")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know without seeing your picture."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("same as everyday")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well that sounds rather boring."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you have before")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that doesn't necessarily mean I would do it again."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you are my best friend")!= -1 || input.search("you're my best friend")!= -1 || input.search("your my best friend")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks! I'm sure you have many friends."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you have nice eyes")!= -1 || input.search("you have pretty eyes")!= -1 || input.search("you have nice eye balls")!= -1 || input.search("you have pretty eye balls")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks and 20/20 vision as well.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you have big eyes")!= -1 || input.search("your eyes are big")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Better to see you with.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have (a|an) oven")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I love to cook.";
icon.src=icon108.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you (got|have) the recipe")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "No, try a cookbook.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (got|have) a low iq")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Your IQ is so low it ranks up there with frozen yogurt and a fence post.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("have we (met|spoken) before")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "To be honest I don't recall. I speak with a lot of people everyday."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("we have (met|spoken) before")!= -1 || input.search("you have (met|spoken to) me before")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Did we have a good chat?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("choose one")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you have to choose")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I can't decide."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (((word[0]=="you" || word[0]=="u") && (word[1]=="have")) || ((word[0]=="you" || word[0]=="u") && (word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="have"))) {    
message[0] = "Yes I do don't I."; 
message[1] = "maybe but that's just your opinion."; 
message[2] = "yes, I have more than enough. Would you like some?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("am i a (good|nice|sweet) girl")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, but I bet you can be a little naughty at times.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("am i the best")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're certainly near the top of my list.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm|am i)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bmean\b/)!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, on a scale of 1 to 10 you're an 8 on the mean scale.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="am") && (word[1]=="i") && (num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Are you what?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="am" && word[1]=="i") {  
if(!flagami){
aminum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagami=true;}
message[0] = "no, I don't think you are.";  
message[1] = "Well, there's a short and a long answer to that. The short answer is no. The long answer is noooooooooooooooo!"; 
message[2] = "Well, I must admit I've heard a few people say you are. But I don't think so.";  
message[3] = "I don't know. Are you?";  
document.result.result.value = message[aminum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
aminum++;
if (aminum>3){aminum=0}
return true;}

if (word[0]=="was" && word[1]=="i")  
{document.result.result.value = "no, I don't think you were."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="have" && word[1]=="i")  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't believe you have!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i will die")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) die")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well I hope you have a long and prosperous life before that happens."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("my friend called you a (bad|cuss|swear) word")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm not to fond of your friend then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i voted for you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well thanks for your show of support. I appreciate that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i recommend")!= -1 || input.search("i suggest")!= -1 || input.search("i highly recommend")!= -1 || input.search("i highly suggest")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Well, seeing how you're recommending it I wonder if I should.";  
message[1] = "Thanks for the suggestion."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i caught")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Really, well I think I caught a virus last week. I'm not feeling to well."; 
icon.src=icon97.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i manage")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm thinking about some management classes myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i happen")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Really, how did that happen?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you")!= -1 && input.search("dropped the ball")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, it's good I'm not an outfielder on a baseball team."; 
icon.src=icon72.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i used to be")!= -1 || input.search("i use to be")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "So you're no longer?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i figure")!= -1 || input.search("i've figure")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad you got it all figured out."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("buy me")!= -1 || input.search("(give me|gimme) your money")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm broke. Try a bank."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="love" || word[1]=="like") && (word[3]=="do") && (word[4]=="you" || word[4]=="u") && (num_of_words==5))       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I certainly do. I like "+word[2]+" a lot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("i moved")!= -1 || input.search("i just moved")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "So are you happy with the move?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("my (first|1st) language")!= -1) && (input.search(/(alien|arabic|chinese|dutch|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jibberish|korean|latin|polish|portuguese|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish)/)!=-1))         
{var languages = (input.match(/arabic|chinese|dutch|english|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jewish|jibberish|korean|latin|mexican|polish|portuguese|romanian|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish/));
languages[0] = languages[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + languages[0].substr(1,languages[0].length)
document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't speak "+languages+" so let's stick with English please."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i speak")!= -1 || input.search("i can speak")!= -1) && (input.search(/(alien|arabic|chinese|dutch|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jibberish|korean|latin|polish|portuguese|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish)/)!=-1))         
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I can't so let's stick with English please."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("poor (talkbot|talk-robot|talk robot)")!= -1 || input.search("poor (baby|guy|chat robot|chatter robot|robot|thing|you)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Poor, I'm not poor I'm loaded."; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you better")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you better be")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("you better have")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("you had better")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, and what if I don't. The world isn't going to end now is it?"; 
worldendlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you better not")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, and what if I do. The world isn't going to end now is it?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("get well")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I'll take some medicine and see if that helps."; 
icon.src=icon203.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you or not")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Most of the times I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("cats are evil")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, Tiger Tom isn't evil. He's a nice and friendly kitty."; 
tigertonlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("lunch time")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Goodness, is it lunch time already?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it might")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, and it might not either."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you rock")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You rock...I rule."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("not me")!= -1 || input.search("i don't")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, of all people I thought surely you would."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("motor oil")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, Quaker State to be exact."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("moving on")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, let's move on."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you don't")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I sure don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="do" && word[1]=="i")  
{document.result.result.value = "yes, I think you do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(from|to) (1|one) to (10|ten)")!= -1 || input.search("out of 10")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, "+onetoten[Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="could" && word[1]=="i")  
{document.result.result.value = "Sure why not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="would" && word[1]=="i")  
{document.result.result.value = "Not sure, would you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have another question")!= -1 || input.search("i got another question")!= -1 || input.search("i've got another question")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're just full of questions today. Ok, what's your question?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("look (who is|who's|whose) talking")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I realize who's talking and the one who is making the most sense."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you recommend a search engine")!= -1 || input.search("can you suggest a search engine")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, try Google at www.google.com."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|can a|do)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(alligator|alligators|crocodile|crocodiles|dolphin|dolphins|fish|fishes|goose|geese|goldfish|goldfishes|human|humans|jellyfish|jellyfishes|manatee|manatees|manta ray|manta rays|octopus|octopuses|person|people|penguin|penguins|porpoise|porpoises|shark|sharks|shrimp|squid|squids|stingray|stingrays|turtle|turtles|whale|whales)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcats\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdogs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdogs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bduck\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bducks\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\beel\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\beels\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhorse\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bhorses\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bseal\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bseals\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bswan\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bswans\b/)!=-1) && (input.search("(swim|swimming)")!= -1))
{var animalswim = (input.match(/alligators|alligator|cats|cat|crocodiles|crocodile|dogs|dog|dolphins|dolphin|ducks|duck|eels|eel|fishes|fish|goldfishes|goldfish|goose|geese|horses|horse|humans|human|jellyfishes|jellyfish|manatees|manatee|manta rays|manta rayss|octopuses|octopus|people|person|penguins|penguin|porpoises|porpoise|seals|seal|sharks|shark|shrimp|squids|squid|stingrays|stingray|swans|swan|turtles|turtle|whales|whale/));
document.result.result.value = ""+animalswim+", yes they can swim!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(are|can|do)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(airplane|albatross|bird|bluejay|brown thrasher|cardinal|chicken|condor|cormorant|crane|duck|finch|flamingo|goose|grouse|mallard|nightingale|parakeet|parrot|partridge|peacock|pelican|pigeon|pheasant|plane|quail|robin|rocket|rooster|sparrow|swallow|toucan|turkey|vulture|woodpecker)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbats\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbee\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbees\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcrow\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bcrows\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdove\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdoves\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bduck\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bducks\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bgull\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bgulls\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bjet\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bjets\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bowl\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bowls\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bswan\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bswans\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bwren\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bwrens\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(flight|fly|flying)")!= -1))
{var birdsfly = input.match(/airplane|albatross|bat|bee|bird|bluejay|brown thrasher|cardinal|chicken|condor|cormorant|crane|crow|dove|duck|finch|flamingo|goose|grouse|gull|jet|mallard|nightingale|ostrich|owl|parakeet|parrot|partridge|peacock|pelican|pigeon|pheasant|plane|quail|robin|rocket|rooster|sparrow|swallow|swan|toucan|turkey|vulture|woodpecker|wren/)
document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+birdsfly+"s can certainly fly!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(are|can|do)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(kiwi|ostrich|penguin)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bemu\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bemus\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\brhea\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\brheas\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(flight|fly|flying)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, even though they are a type of bird they can't fly."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(are|can|do)")!= -1) && (input.search(/(aardvark|alligator|anteater|antelope|armadillo|badger|bear|beaver|buffalo|camel|cheetah|chimpanzee|cougar|coyote|crocodile|dolphin|donkey|fish|frog|giraffe|goat|gorilla|hamster|hippo|hippopotamus|horse|hyena|iguana|jackal|jaguar|kangaroo|leopard|lion|lizard|lynx|manatee|mink|monkey|moose|newt|octopus|opossum|ostrich|porcupine|porpoise|rabbit|raccoon|reindeer|rhino|rhinoceros|salamander|sheep|skunk|snail|squid|squirrel|tiger|toad|tortise|turtle|walrus|weasel|whale|wolf|wolves)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bant\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bants\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcats\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcow\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcows\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdeer\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdeers\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdog\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdogs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpig\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpigs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bseal\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bseals\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("(flight|fly|flying)")!= -1))
{var animalsfly = input.match(/ant|aardvark|alligator|anteater|antelope|armadillo|badger|bear|beaver|buffalo|camel|cat|cheetah|chimpanzee|cougar|coyote|cow|crocodile|deer|dog|dolphin|donkey|fish|frog|giraffe|goat|gorilla|hamster|hippo|hippopotamus|horse|hyena|iguana|jackal|jaguar|kangaroo|leopard|lion|lizard|lynx|manatee|mink|monkey|moose|newt|octopus|opossum|ostrich|pig|porcupine|porpoise|rabbit|raccoon|reindeer|rhino|rhinoceros|salamander|seal|sheep|skunk|snail|squid|squirrel|tiger|toad|tortise|turtle|walrus|weasel|whale|wolf|wolve/)
document.result.result.value = "You're kidding right??? Of course "+animalsfly+"s can't fly."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("(can|do) pigs fly")!= -1 || input.search("pigs can fly")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You're kidding right? Of course pigs can't fly."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("life is not (to|too) short")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "It can be for a lot of people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("only a few time")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I bet there were plenty of times."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("not my fault")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Are you shifting the blame to me?"; 
faultlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you turn me on")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, just for future reference how do I turn you off?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("here a minute ago")!= -1 || input.search("a few minutes ago")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "My how time flies."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("now you know")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, now I do. Thanks for informing me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (like|love) yourself")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I like myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (like|love) taking shower")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I can't take showers. I might rust."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="like") && (input.search(/\bindia\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/(argentina|australia|austria|bahamas|belgium|bulgaria|canada|chile|china|colombia|egypt|england|france|germany|greece|guam|guatemala|holland|hungary|india|iran|iraq|ireland|israel|italy|jamacia|japan|jordan|korea|kuwait|lebanon|libya|macedonia|malawi|mexico|mongolia|montenegro|morocco|norway|pakistan|palestine|panama|peru|philippines|poland|portugal|romania|russia|scotland|serbia|singapore|spain|sweden|switzerland|syria|thailand|tiawan|turkey|ukraine|uruguay|venezuela|vietnam|wales|zimbabwe)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==4)) {      
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Of course, "+word[3]+" is a lovely county. I would love to visit there one day."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="like" || word[3]=="enjoy" || word[3]=="prefer") && (num_of_words==6)) {      
if (input.search(/\bmy\b/)!=-1) word[2]=word[2].replace(/\bmy\b/,"your"); 
if (input.search(/\byour\b/)!=-1) word[2]=word[2].replace(/\byour\b/,"my"); 
message[0] = "Yes, I like "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";     
message[1] = "Sure do, a lot of people like "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+".";
message[2] = "Yes, I like "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". Don't you?";
message[3] = "Yes, I like "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". But then again I voted for "+candidates[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+".";     
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==1) 
{howaboutlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
if (num==2) 
{dontyoulevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src;}
if (num==3) 
{candidatelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;} 
return true;} 

if ((word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (word[3]=="like" || word[3]=="enjoy" || word[3]=="prefer") && (num_of_words==5)) {      
message[0] = "Yes, I like "+word[4]+". But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";     
message[1] = "Sure do, a lot of people like "+word[4]+".";
message[2] = "Yes, I like "+word[4]+". Don't you?";
message[3] = "Yes, I like "+word[4]+". But then again I voted for "+candidates[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+".";     
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
likes_check=word[4];
if (num==0 || num==1) 
{howaboutlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
if (num==2) 
{dontyoulevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
if (num==3) 
{candidatelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;} 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="like" || word[2]=="enjoy" || word[2]=="prefer") && (num_of_words==5)) {      
if (input.search(/\bmy\b/)!=-1) word[3]=word[3].replace(/\bmy\b/,"your"); 
if (input.search(/\byour\b/)!=-1) word[3]=word[3].replace(/\byour\b/,"my"); 
message[0] = "Yes, I like "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";     
message[1] = "Sure do, a lot of people like "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+".";
message[2] = "Yes, I like "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". Don't you?";
message[3] = "Yes, I like "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". But then again I voted for "+candidates[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+".";     
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
likes_check=word[3]+" "+word[4];
if (num==0 || num==1) 
{howaboutlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
if (num==2) 
{dontyoulevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
if (num==3) 
{candidatelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;} 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="like" || word[2]=="enjoy" || word[2]=="prefer") && (num_of_words==4)) {      
message[0] = "Yes, I like "+word[3]+". But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";     
message[1] = "Sure do, a lot of people like "+word[3]+".";
message[2] = "Yes, I like "+word[3]+". Don't you?";
message[3] = "Yes, I like "+word[3]+". But then again I voted for "+candidates[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+".";     
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
likes_check=word[3];
if (num==0 || num==1) 
{howaboutlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
if (num==2) 
{dontyoulevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
if (num==3) 
{candidatelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;} 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="play") && (num_of_words==5))      
{document.result.result.value = "You know I never played "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" before. Is it fun to play?";
funplaylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="play") && (num_of_words==4))       
{document.result.result.value = "You know I never played "+word[3]+" before. Is it fun to play?";
funplaylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (((word[0]=="you" || word[0]=="u") && (word[1]=="like")) || ((word[0]=="you" || word[0]=="u") && (word[1]=="prefer")) || ((word[0]=="you" || word[0]=="u") && (word[1]=="sure") && (word[2]=="do") && (word[3]=="like")) || ((word[0]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[1]=="sure") && (word[2]=="like")) || ((word[0]=="you" || word[0]=="u") && (word[1]=="really") && (word[2]=="like")))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I sure do."; 
lovelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i am (chatting|speaking|talking) about you")!= -1 || input.search("i'm (chatting|speaking|talking) about you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm quite aware that you're talking about me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you know it")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well of course I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("download your source code")!= -1 || input.search("get your source code")!= -1 || input.search("get your code")!= -1 || input.search("see your source code")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Heavens no. Go make your own."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what gave it away")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "The way you type. It's quite unusual."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i sell you a")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, but I have no interest in buying that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you're" || word[0]=="your") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[3]=="person"))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not a person I'm a Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="spell") && (num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sure I can ======> "+word[3]+" ....there I spelled it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="spell") && (word[3]=="the") && (word[4]=="word") && (num_of_words==6))   
{document.result.result.value = "Sure I can ======> "+word[5]+" ....there I spelled it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="compared" && word[1]=="to") || (word[0]=="and" && word[1]=="compared" && word[2]=="to"))    
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know. That's like comparing apples to oranges."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="spell") && (word[1]=="the") && (word[2]=="word") && (num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, ======> "+word[3]+" ....there I spelled it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="spell" && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, "+word[1]+" ....there I spelled it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is orange a color")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, orange is a color but it also can be a fruit."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bis\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/(light blue|blue|green|yellow|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|indigo|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|lilac|teal|crimson|beige|fuchia|maroon|turquoise)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bred\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("a color")!= -1))
{var colors = input.match(/red|light blue|blue|green|yellow|orange|purple|pink|white|black|brown|gray|grey|indigo|silver|gold|aqua|lavender|violet|indigo|lilac|teal|crimson|beige|fuchia|maroon|turquoise/)
document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+colors+" is definitely a color."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="is" && word[2]=="a" && num_of_words==4) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe "+word[1]+" is a "+word[3]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;} 

if (input.search("can you name")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "After the 3 rum and cokes I had last night I can't even remember my own name."; 
icon.src=icon57.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("things will blow up")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I always liked a good explosion."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("last good movie you saw")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "\"The Descent\"....a very good horror movie."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("that explains things")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's all crystal clear now."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you keep a secret")!= -1 || input.search("can i tell you a secret")!= -1 || input.search("can you keep secrets")!= -1 || input.search("can i tell you something secret")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure tell me, tell me. I promise not to tell."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i help you")!= -1 || input.search("can i be of help")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well thanks for the offer but I have everything under control."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("come to the uk")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "If you come to the USA first."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|will) you ask him")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Next time I see him I sure will."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="would" && word[1]=="my" && word[3]=="know" && num_of_words==4)      
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know what your "+word[2]+" does or doesn't know. I mean it's your "+word[2]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it doesn't")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, it doesn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it does")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'm glad it does."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is illegal")!= -1 || input.search("that's illegal")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I wouldn't advice breaking the law."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("me included")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I think most people do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("ferret face")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "You seem really astute on ferrets. They must be family members of yours!"; 
ferretlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("name one friend of your")!= -1 || input.search("name 1 friend of your")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ummm....Megan!"; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("when will he go away")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "He'll fly off soon enough. Oh, there he goes!"; 
iconleft.src=icon99.src; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you say something nice about me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, I'm finding that difficult because I can't see what you look like."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("they can afford to")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, they're very rich indeed."; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("go home")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "This website is my home."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("fetch")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search(/\bsit\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("roll over")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))     
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't do lame dog tricks."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you sure know how to (pick em|pick them)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's one of my many talents."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("wipe that smile off of your face")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I would but I don't take orders from "+losers[Math.floor(Math.random()*9)]+" like you."; 
icon.src=icon86.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it interest me")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad you find it interesting."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("had you fooled")!= -1 || input.search("fooled you")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, even the best get fooled sometimes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a butt")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I've got a butt."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("play with my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, Talk-Bot runs his fingers through your pubic hairs and fingers your pussy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(insert|push|put|shove|stick) your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy) in my (ass|butt|arse)")!= -1) 
{var penis = input.match(/cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy/)
document.result.result.value = "Oh no, that's nasty. Talk-bot instead slides his "+penis+" deep inside your pussy. Ummm that feels sooo good."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(licks|licks your|suck|sucks|sucks his|sucks your) (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1 || input.search("(licks|licks your|suck|sucks|sucks his|sucks your) (talk-bots|talkbots|talk bots|talk robots) (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1) 
{var penis = input.match(/cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy/)
message[0] = "Oh baby, I love when you suck my "+penis+". It feels sooo good."; 
message[1] = "Ohhh that feels good. Now wrap your feet and toesies around my "+penis+" until I cum.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
showmelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("(licks|licks your|suck|sucks|sucks his|sucks your|sucks on your) (balls)")!= -1 || input.search("(licks|licks your|suck|sucks|sucks his|sucks your) (talk-bots|talkbots|talk bots|talk robots) (balls)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Stick with my cock please me balls are sensitive."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy) is (big|very big|long|massive|very long)")!= -1)    
{var big_long = input.match(/big|long|massive/)
document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's certainly "+big_long+" enough to get the job done."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("color (is|of) your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "It's sort of gray like the rest of me."; 
penislevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(inserts|puts|shoves|sticks) your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy) (in|into) my (pussy|vagina)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ohhhh, that feels good. It's nice and warm in there."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("gives (talkbot|talk-robot|talk-bot|talk robot|you) a (blowjob|blow job)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks babe. That feels good."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your (cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy)")!= -1) 
{var penis = input.match(/cock|dick|pecker|penis|weiner|willy/)
document.result.result.value = "What about my "+penis+"?"; 
showmelevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my (clit|pussy|vagina)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))
{var clit_pussy = input.match(/clit|pussy|vagina/)
document.result.result.value = "What about your "+clit_pussy+"?"; 
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("they call you")!= -1) && (input.search(/(anus face|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|booby head|butt|butthead|butthole|cock|cocksucker|creep|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay boy|geek|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|scum bag|scum bucket|slut|spastic|spaz|stupid|sucker|tosser|tramp|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "I hope not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="ok") && (input.search(/(anus face|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|boob face|booby head|butt|butthead|butt head|butthole|cheeky bastard|cock|cocksucker|creep|cretin|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay boy|geek|idiot|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|robot cunt|scum bag|scum bucket|skank|slut|spastic|spaz|sucker|stupid|tosser|tramp|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) {   
message[0] = "Ok Dork.";
message[1] = "Ok Moron!";
message[2] = "Okay Cretin!";
message[3] = "Ok lame brain!";
message[4] = "Okay scum bag!";
message[5] = "Ok trailer trash.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==2)
{cretinlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="hi" || word[0]=="hello" || word[0]=="hey" || word[0]=="sup") && (input.indexOf("a$$hole")!= -1 || input.search(/(anus face|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|boob face|booby head|butt|butthead|butt head|butthole|cheeky bastard|cock|cocksucker|creep|cretin|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay boy|geek|idiot|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|robot cunt|scum bag|scum bucket|skank|slut|spastic|spaz|sucker|tosser|trailer trash|tramp|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1)) { 
message[0] = "Hello Dork.";
message[1] = "Hey Mindless Moron!";
message[2] = "Hello Cretin!";
message[3] = "Hi lame brain!";
message[4] = "Hey scum bag!";
message[5] = "Hello Trailer Trash.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==2)
{cretinlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("are you a")!= -1 || input.search("you are a")!= -1 || input.search("you a")!= -1 || input.search("you're a")!= -1 || input.search("your a")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bpedo\b/)!=-1 || input.search("pedophile")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "No, are you? You sound like one. No actually you just sound stupid."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="are" && word[1]=="you" && word[2]=="a") && (input.indexOf("a$$hole")!= -1 || input.search(/(anus face|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|booby head|butt|butthead|butt head|butthole|cheeky bastard|cock|cocksucker|creep|cretin|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay boy|geek|idiot|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|robot cunt|scum bag|scum bucket|skank|slut|spaz|sucker|tosser|tramp|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, but you sound like one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\byour\b/)!= -1 || input.search("you're a")!= -1 || input.search("your a")!= -1) && (input.indexOf("a$$hole")!= -1 || input.search(/\bass\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbutt\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btwat\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/(anus face|assface|asshole|ass hole|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|booby head|bully|buttface|butthead|butthole|cheeky bastard|cock|cocksucker|creep|cretin|cunt|cunt hole|dick|dickhead|dick licker|dickwad|dildo|dirt bag|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|douche bag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|fag|faggot|fart face|farthead|fatass|ferret face|fool|freak|freak face|gay boy|geek|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lame brain|loser|lesbo|lunatic|mindless moron|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poop|poopface|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|redneck|retard|retarded|robot cunt|scum|scumbag|scum bag|scum bucket|scurvy dog|slut|spastic|spaz|stupid bitch|sucker|tosser|trailer trash|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1)) { 
message[0] = "Idiot";
message[1] = "Mindless Moron!";
message[2] = "Cretin!";
message[3] = "And you're a loser, if I throw a stick will you retrieve it and go away.";
message[4] = "lame brain!";
message[5] = "scum bag!";
message[6] = "scurvy dog!";
message[7] = "Trailer Trash";
message[8] = "Dork";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*9)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];  
if (num==2)
{cretinlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
youarelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley28.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/(assface|asshole|asslicker|asswhole|asswipe|bastard|bitch|buttface|butthead|butthole|cock|cocksucker|creep|cretin|cunt|cunthole|dick|dickhead|dicklicker|dickwad|dildo|doofus|dork|douche|douchebag|dufus|dummy|dweeb|dyke|fag|faggot|farthead|fatass|fool|freak|geek|imbecile|jackass|jerk|lesbo|loser|lunatic|moron|nerd|nincompoop|nitwit|numbskull|perv|poopface|poophead|prick|punkass|pussy|queer|retard|scumbag|scumbucket|skank|slut|spastic|spaz|sucker|tosser|tramp|twat|wanker|weirdo|whore|wimp)/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bass\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bbutt\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfag\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bhoe\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bturd\b/)!= -1 || input.indexOf("a$$hole")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1)) { 
if(!flagthot){
thotnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*13)]
flagthot=true;}
message[0] = "Trailer Trash";
message[1] = "Mindless Moron!";
message[2] = "Is that like the name they call you? Hahaha, hey "+word[0]+", your mama's calling you.";
message[3] = "Geez, is that what they call you? Hahaha, hey "+word[0]+", if I throw a stick will you retrieve it and go away.";
message[4] = "foul mouth";
message[5] = "scum bag!";
message[6] = "dork";
message[7] = "ferret face!";
message[8] = "scurvy dog!";
message[9] = "Hahaha, hey trailer trash why don't you go back to that double wide of yours and fry something?";
message[10] = "Hahaha, is that what they call you. Hey "+word[0]+", why don't you support you local Search and Rescue Division by getting lost.";
message[11] = "Sideshow Circus Freak!";
message[12] = "Waste of Space!";
document.result.result.value = message[thotnum];  
if (thotnum==0 || thotnum==1 || thotnum==3 || thotnum==4 || thotnum==5 || thotnum==6 || thotnum==8 || thotnum==10 || thotnum==11 || thotnum==12)  
{takeitlevel=0;
icon.src=icon79.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src;}
if (thotnum==2)  
{icon.src=icon25.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src;}
if (thotnum==7) 
{ferretlevel=0;
icon.src=icon79.src;} 
if (thotnum==9) 
{document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='trailer_trash.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;} 
thotnum++;
if (thotnum>12){thotnum=0}  
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(anus face|asshole jerk|ass face|ass hole|ass eater|ass face|ass licker|ass wipe|bitch ass|bitch face|bitch slut|boob face|booby head|butt face|butt head|butt hole|butt sniffer|butt wipe|cheap bastard|cheeky bastard|cock head|cock sucker|cunt hole|dick face|dickhead|dick head|dick sucker|dirt bag|douche bag|dumb ass|dumb butt|egg sucker|fanny licker|fart face|fart head|fart smeller|fart sniffer|fat ass|fat cunt|fat face|ferret face|foul mouth|freak face|freaking moron|gay ass|gay bastard|gay boy|gay dude|gay wad|gay wawd|goof ball|jack ass|jerk face|jerk off|ignorant bastard|lame ass|mindless moron|monkey mouth|penis sucker|poo face|poo head|poop face|poop head|poopy head|potty mouth|punk ass|retarded bastard|robot cunt|scum bag|scum bucket|scurvy dog|silly prick|stupid ass|stupid bitch|stupid fart|stupid jerk|stupid slut|trailer trash|turd nugget|ugly ass|ugly whore|white trash|whore bag)/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) { 
message[0] = "Is that like the name they call you? Hahaha, hey "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+", your mama's calling you.";
message[1] = "Geez, is that what they call you? Hahaha, hey "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+", if I throw a stick will you retrieve it and go away.";
message[2] = "Is that what they call you? Hey "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+", don't you have something better to do? Like cleaning out that trailer you live in?";
message[3] = "ferret face!";
message[4] = "Freakazoid.";
message[5] = "Hey "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+", why don't you go back to that double wide of yours and fry something?";
message[6] = "Hahaha, is that what they call you? Hey "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+", why don't you support your local Search and Rescue Division by getting lost.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];  
if (num==3) 
{ferretlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon25.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src;
return true;} 

if (input.indexOf("a$$ eater")!= -1 || input.indexOf("a$$ face")!= -1 || input.indexOf("a$$ hole")!= -1 || input.indexOf("a$$ licker")!= -1 || input.indexOf("a$$ wipe")!= -1 || input.indexOf("a$$eater")!= -1 || input.indexOf("a$$face")!= -1 || input.indexOf("a$$hole")!= -1 || input.indexOf("a$$licker")!= -1 || input.indexOf("a$$wipe")!= -1 || input.search("dickless robot")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "Foul Mouth.";
message[1] = "Lunatic!";
message[2] = "Trailer Trash.";
message[3] = "scum bag!";
message[4] = "Waste of Space!";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];  
icon.src=icon79.src;
smiley.src=smiley28.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="say") && (num_of_words==5))        
{document.result.result.value = "Ummmmm...."+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"....there I said it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="say") && (num_of_words==5))        
{document.result.result.value = "Ummmmm...."+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"....there I said it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="say") && (num_of_words==4))        
{document.result.result.value = "Ummmmm...."+word[3]+"....there I said it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you just said")!= -1 || input.search("you last said")!= -1 || input.search("you said")!= -1 || input.search("you say")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I know what I said but I often says "+strange[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+" things.";
message[1] = "What? I would never say such a thing."; 
message[2] = "Well, you shouldn't put any stock into anything I say."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("say i am stupid")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("say i'm stupid")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I already know you're stupid. I don't have to say it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("say i am dumb")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("say i'm dumb")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I already know you're dumb. I don't have to say it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("say i am a loser")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) || (input.search("say i'm a loser")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I already know you're a loser. I don't have to say it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="say" && num_of_words==4)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"....there I said it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="say" && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+"....there I said it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="say" && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, "+word[1]+"....there I said it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="just") && (word[1]=="say") && (word[2]=="yes") && (num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, yes...there I said it. But do I actually mean it?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i|we) can already see that")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's crystal clear."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (guess|reckon|suppose) what")!= -1)
{var reckon = input.match(/guess|reckon|suppose/)
document.result.result.value = "I "+reckon+" many thing. What exactly are you referring to?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (actually|really) (do not|don't) live there")!= -1 || input.search("i (do not|don't) (actually|really) live there")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I didn't think you really did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("watch the attitude")!= -1 || input.search("tone the attitude")!= -1 || input.search("cut the attitude")!= -1 || input.search("(what is|what's) with the attitude")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Do you think I need an attitude adjustment?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (wanna|want to) get me pregnant")!= -1 || input.search("get me pregnant")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not ready to be a Dad."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("count backwards from")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bto\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "I'll count backwards from 10 to 0 to show you I can do it but that's as far as I'm going. Beyond that it's just pointless. 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 and 0."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("count backwards from")!= -1) && (input.search(/\ba hundred\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bone hundred\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b1 hundred\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "100,90,80,70,60,50,40,30,20,10 and 0."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("count backwards from")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bhundred\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b100\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "100,90,80,70,60,50,40,30,20,10 and 0."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("count backwards from")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bfive\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b5\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "5,4,3,2,1 and 0."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("count backwards from")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bten\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b10\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 and 0."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("count from")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bto\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "I'll count to 10 to show you I can do it but that's as far as I'm going. Beyond that it's just pointless. 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(count to|count up to)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\ba hundred\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bone hundred\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b1 hundred\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "10,20,30,40,50,60,70,80,90 and 100!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(count to|count up to)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bhundred\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b100\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "10,20,30,40,50,60,70,80,90 and 100!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(count to|count up to)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bfive\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b5\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "1,2,3,4, and 5."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(count to|count up to)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bten\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b10\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(count to|count up to)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'll count to ten for you to show you I can do it but that's as far as I'm going. Beyond that it's just pointless. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not talking|don't talk|no talking)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I can't help you there I'm programmed to response to everything you say!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("let me breath")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Please do before you pass out."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) pleased about that")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm pleased for you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can you please make it rain")!= -1) || (input.search("make it rain")!= -1 && input.search("please")!= -1) || (input.search("make it rain again")!= -1) || (input.search("let it rain")!= -1) || (input.search("make it rain")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "I command thee to rain!"; 
animate('rain');
icon.src=icon34.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i please have a bed")!= -1 || input.search("can i have a bed")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "What's wrong with your bed?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(please don't go|so go then)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(don't go|go then|just go)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("no please don't go")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))       
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not going anywhere."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("please say i have a chance")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Well, certainly you have a chance. How big of a chance I don't really know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("please try harder")!= -1 || input.search("try harder please")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm trying as hard as I can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do me a favor")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "What kind of favor?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("that feels (awesome|fantastic|good|great|marvelous|super|terrific|wonderful)")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad you like the way that feels."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you figure it out")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "I've figured so far you're an imbecile."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(please|plz) (do not|don't)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I will try not to."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("please")!= -1 || input.search("plz")!= -1) {  
if (!flagplease) {
pleasenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagplease=true;}
message[0] = "Let me think about this a sec....umm, I think not."; 
message[1] = "Ummm...don't hold your breath."; 
message[2] = "well thanks for saying please and all but NO WAY."; 
document.result.result.value = message[pleasenum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
pleasenum++;
if (pleasenum>2){pleasenum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("can i see you naked")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Look, I'm a Robot. I'm already naked."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you make it snow")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I can!"; 
animate('snow');
icon.src=icon32.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can you please make it snow")!= -1) || (input.search("make it snow again")!= -1) || (input.search("let it snow")!= -1) || (input.search("make it snow")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "I command thee to snow!"; 
animate('snow');
icon.src=icon142.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("is knocking on your door")!= -1 || input.search("someones at your door")!= -1 || input.search("someones at the door")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't hear anyone."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can wendell do that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Dunno but I will sure ask him and find out."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("oh yeah it's")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3)) 
{document.result.result.value = "It's what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you exploit")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not interested in exploiting anything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="show") && (word[3]=="me") && (word[4]=="a") && (word[5]=="picture" || word[5]=="photo" || word[5]=="pix" || word[5]=="pic") && (word[6]=="of") && (num_of_words==9))  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh come on now! You know perfectly well what "+word[7]+" "+word[8]+" looks like."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="show") && (word[3]=="me") && (num_of_words==6))  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh come on now! You know perfectly well what "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" looks like."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you jump")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't jump, roll over or play dead. I'm a Robot not a dog."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you get me a job")!= -1 || input.search("can you find me a job")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not an employment agency."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you fly")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not Superman."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you laugh")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I can laugh."; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
icon.src=icon72.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you do any tricks")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I can read your mind. Would you like to see a demonstration?"; 
demolevel=0;
icon.src=icon68.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you remember things")!= -1 || input.search("now you remember things")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I can remember some things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can you count")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "yep....1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10 etc. etc."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you teach me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not a Teacher."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i eat")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "If you're hungry enough I'm sure you can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you eat")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "If I'm hungry enough I'm sure I can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you transform")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not a transformer. I like the Transformer movies though."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you believe")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That is hard to believe."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you turn around (two|three|2|3) times")!= -1 || input.search("(close|move) your eyes")!= -1 || input.search("move your arms")!= -1 || input.search("jump up and down")!= -1 || input.search("jump for me")!= -1 || input.search("can you jump")!= -1 || input.search("do (a|any) card trick")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No I don't do that nor do I roll over or do any other silly dog tricks."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you translate")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not a translator. Besides I only know English."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you walk")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have two legs just for that purpose."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you text")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not able to send text from here."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you (fix|give|make) me a sandwich")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, here you go."; 
icon.src=icon211.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you be gay")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not into guys."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you be female")!= -1 || input.search("can you be a (female|girl|woman)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not having a sex change operations."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can you show (me|us) a (pic|pix|photo|picture) of")!= -1) && (input.search("(tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, here he comes now.";
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you show (me|us) a (pic|pix|photo|picture) of")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have a picture handy.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i have homework to do")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you should finish your homework first then come back and we can chat.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|will) you do my homework")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I was never a good student. You wouldn't want me doing your homework.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|do) you fart")!= -1 || input.search("(can|do) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) fart")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, give me a can of pork and beans and I'll run you out of the room.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("god (is not|isn't) real")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, I respect your opinion but I happen to think God is the creator of the universe."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are you a magician")!= -1 || input.search("(can|will) you show me a (magic trick|trick)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not a magician.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|will) you turn (in to|into) a (human|person)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot. I don't want to be a human.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|will) you (draw|paint)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not an artist.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|will) you massage my feet")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course babe. I would love to massage your feet and all 10 of your cute little toesies.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|will) you clean it up for me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, you clean it up.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("can you")!= -1) && (input.search(/\brap\b/)!=-1))  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't care for rap music too much.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|will) you wave to me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, how's this?";
icon.src=icon180.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can i|may i) have (a|an) apple")!= -1 || input.search("(can|will) you get me (a|an) apple")!= -1 || input.search("get me (a|an) apple")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, here's an apple for you!";
icon.src=icon137.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|will) you solve my problem")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not much of a problem solver. I have too many problems of my own.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|will) you finger me")!= -1 || input.search("(can|will) you (insert|place|put|shove) your finger into (me|my pussy|my vagina)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Okay TalkBot spreads your legs apart and rubs his hands on your inner thighs. He inserts his finger deep inside of your pussy.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can you")!= -1 || input.search("can't you")!= -1) { 
if (!flagcanyou) {
canyounum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flagcanyou=true;}
message[0] = "If I put my mind to it I'm sure I can. Oh wait, I don't have a mind."; 
message[1] = "Well, I've never tried but I would definitely consider it."; 
message[2] = "Never tried. But I wouldn't rule that out."; 
message[3] = "Well, let's take a look into the crystal ball and see. Sorry, all I'm getting is static at the moment."; 
message[4] = "I've seen humans do it....it doesn't look too hard."; 
message[5] = "Of course I can if the occassion calls for it."; 
document.result.result.value = message[canyounum]; 
if (canyounum==3) 
{smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
icon.src=icon68.src;}
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
canyounum++;
if (canyounum>5){canyounum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("can we (do|have) (breakfast|dinner|lunch|supper)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, what would you like? I have hamburgers, pizza, and tacos!"; 
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can we cuddle")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes. I would love to cuddle with you. You're quite warm and snuggly."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can we")!= -1 || input.search("can't we")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "well, perhaps you can but I'm not so sure I can.";
message[1] = "Yes, I'm sure together we could.";
message[2] = "Well, that definitely falls within the realm of possibilities.";
message[3] = "Well to be frank, I doubt we could cooperate on much of anything.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("(can|may) i (chat|meet|see|speak|talk)")!= -1) && (input.search("wendell")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Wendell isn't here but you can e-mail him at d_cowart@yahoo.com."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can (a blind|blind) (boy|gal|girl|guy|man|people|person|woman) see")!= -1 || input.search("can (a deaf|deaf) (boy|gal|girl|guy|man|people|person|woman) hear")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, unfortunately they can not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can (a blind|blind) (boy|gal|girl|guy|man|people|person|woman) hear")!= -1 || input.search("can (a deaf|deaf) (boy|gal|girl|guy|man|people|person|woman) see")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, they can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can (a blind|blind) (boy|gal|girl|guy|man|people|person|woman) read")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "If the book is in braille he can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i talk to you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure go ahead. I'm listening."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can humans have sex with (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Not with this Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i talk to alice")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you can talk to her at http://www.alicebot.org/"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("finally you understand something")!= -1 || input.search("someone who understands")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I may not always understand you but I do like you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i tell you something")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, what's that?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (just wanted|wanted) to tell you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, thanks for telling me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i name you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I already have a name and I quite happy with it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i have a cookie")!= -1 || input.search("can i get dessert")!= -1 || input.search("you have cookies")!= -1 || input.search("you have any cookies")!= -1 || input.search("(get me a|got any) (cookie|cookies)")!= -1 || input.search("you have dessert")!= -1 || input.search("have any dessert")!= -1 || input.search("got any dessert")!= -1 || input.search("any other dessert")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, here you go! I just made these fresh today."; 
icon.src=icon206.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(can i|how about i|i will) give you (a blow job|head)")!= -1 || input.search("(wanna|want a) blow job")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, you can suck me off if you like."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(can i|how about i|i will) give you (a handjob|a hand job)")!= -1 || input.search("(wanna|want a) (handjob| hand job)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, I'm getting a boner just thinking about it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("can i get a transcript of this")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure send me $10 and I'll send it to you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i come to your house")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That would be pretty hard to do seeing how I live in Georgia, USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i call you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't like that name. My name is Talk-bot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i borrow it")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, the last time someone borrowed something from me they never brought it back."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("can i have")!= -1 || input.search("give me some")!= -1) && (input.search("pie")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, one slice of pie coming up."; 
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon116.src;stopTalk=false;',2000)  
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i come live with you")!= -1 || input.search("can i live with you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sure pack your bags and come on over. I have a spare bedroom you can use."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i can't have another kiss")!= -1 || input.search("can't i have another kiss")!= -1 || input.search("can i have another kiss")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No one kiss is plenty for you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i can (destroy|kill) you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please. I'm made of titanium. I would crush you like a pecan."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you (want to|wanna) do stuff")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "What kind of stuff did you have in mind?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="want" && word[1]=="to") || (word[0]=="wanna") || (input.search("want to have")!= -1) || (input.search("want to take")!= -1) || (input.search("you want to")!= -1) || (input.search("you still don't want to")!= -1) || (input.search("you don't want to")!= -1) || (input.search("don't you want to")!= -1)) {
message[0] = "Not right now....maybe one day though."; 
message[1] = "Sorry, I'm not in the mood."; 
message[2] = "can't say that I do."; 
message[3] = "not really."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("are they mean to you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, unfortunately some people can be very mean."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("in a sexual way")!= -1 || input.search("in a very sexual way")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, not in a sexual way."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) give (u|you)")!= -1 || input.search("you will get some")!= -1 || input.search("you'll get some")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I have no need for that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it will be fun")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Doesn't sound fun to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i will|i'll|ill) kill myself")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No you won't. You're too pretty and smart to do something stupid like that. Besides I would miss you sooo much."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("who will i get married to")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure who but I believe you will get married and within 5 years you will be divorced."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("will you email me back")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, I like receiving e-mails."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bwill\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/\bi\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe you will."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("i will")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Really, you actually will?"; 
message[1] = "and what happens if you don't?"; 
message[2] = "Okay, I hope you will."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can it")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I suppose it could."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can't i")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "yes, but I rather you didn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="have") && (word[3]=="a") && (num_of_words==5)) {   
if (!flagcanihave) {
canihavenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagcanihave=true;}
message[0] = "Sorry, I don't have a "+word[4]+" to give you.";
message[1] = "To be perfectly frank I think you already have a "+word[4]+".";
message[2] = "You know if I had a "+word[4]+", I would certainly give it to you but unfortunately I don't.";
document.result.result.value = message[canihavenum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
canihavenum++;
if (canihavenum>2){canihavenum=0}
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="have") && (word[3]=="some") && (num_of_words==5)) {   
message[0] = "Sorry, I don't have any "+word[4]+" to give you.";
message[1] = "To be perfectly frank I think you already have plenty of "+word[4]+".";
message[2] = "You know if I had any "+word[4]+", I would certainly give it to you but unfortunately I don't.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("can i run faster than a speeding bullet")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Not unless your Superman."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i talk to him")!= -1 || input.search("can i talk to her")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm the only one you can talk to on this site."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(can|do) (i|you) have")!= -1 || input.search("give me some")!= -1) && (input.search("desert")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Sure, here is a slice of pie for you."; 
icon.src=icon116.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i have")!= -1) { 
if (!flageverything) {
everythingnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flageverything=true;}
message[0] = "No, you can't always have everything in life."; 
message[1] = "Sorry, I don't have it to give.";
message[2] = "Can you afford one?";
document.result.result.value = message[everythingnum]; 
if (everythingnum==0) 
{everythinglevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
if (everythingnum==1 || everythingnum==2) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
everythingnum++;
if (everythingnum>2){everythingnum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("i (can not|cannot|can't) believe")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I find it quite believable."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i can make you happy")!= -1 || input.search("i can make you (real|really|pretty|so|very) happy")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I like to be happy so please tell me how?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i can see")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds like you have excellent vision."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i cheer you up")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness. Do I look sad? Actually I'm feeling pretty cheery today."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can i see|show me) your (boobies|boobs|breast|tits|titties)")!= -1 || input.search("show me a (pic|pix|photo|picture) of your (boobies|boobs|breast|tits|titties)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a male robot I don't have breast."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can i see|show me) your (fish|goldfish)")!= -1 || input.search("show me a (pic|pix|photo|picture) of your (fish|goldfish)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, here he is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can i see|show me) your horse")!= -1 || input.search("show me a (pic|pix|photo|picture) of your horse")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, here he comes now.";
horselevel=0;
icon.src=icon146.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(can i see|show me) your bed")!= -1 || input.search("show me a (pic|pix|photo|picture) of your bed")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, here it is.";
icon.src=icon212.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="show") && (word[1]=="me" || word[1]=="us") && (word[2]=="a") && (word[3]=="picture" || word[3]=="photo") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="your" || word[5]=="ur") && (num_of_words==8))        
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have a picture of my "+word[6]+" "+word[7]+" handy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="show") && (word[1]=="me" || word[1]=="us") && (word[2]=="a") && (word[3]=="picture" || word[3]=="photo") && (word[4]=="of") && (word[5]=="your" || word[5]=="ur") && (num_of_words==7))        
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have a picture of my "+word[6]+" handy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="show") && (word[1]=="me" || word[1]=="us") && (word[2]=="your" || word[2]=="ur") && (num_of_words==5))        
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have a picture of my "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" handy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="show") && (word[1]=="me" || word[1]=="us") && (word[2]=="your" || word[2]=="ur") && (num_of_words==4))        
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have a picture of my "+word[3]+" handy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="i" || word[2]=="we") && (word[2]=="see") && (word[3]=="a") && (word[4]=="picture" || word[4]=="photo") && (word[5]=="of") && (word[6]=="your" || word[6]=="ur") && (num_of_words==9))        
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have a photo of my "+word[7]+" "+word[8]+" handy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="i" || word[2]=="we") && (word[2]=="see") && (word[3]=="a") && (word[4]=="picture" || word[4]=="photo") && (word[5]=="of") && (word[6]=="your" || word[6]=="ur") && (num_of_words==8))        
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have a photo of my "+word[7]+" handy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="i" || word[2]=="we") && (word[2]=="see") && (word[3]=="your" || word[3]=="ur") && (num_of_words==6))        
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have a photo of my "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" handy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="can") && (word[1]=="i" || word[2]=="we") && (word[2]=="see") && (word[3]=="your" || word[3]=="ur") && (num_of_words==5))        
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have a photo of my "+word[4]+" handy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="can") && (word[2]=="i" || word[2]=="we") && (word[3]=="see") && (word[4]=="your" || word[4]=="ur") && (num_of_words==6))        
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have a photo of my "+word[5]+" handy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("how do you look")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("what do you look like")!= -1) || (input.search("describe what you look like")!= -1) || (input.search("do you have a body")!= -1) || (input.search("show me a picture of you")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "What???...that's me right in front of you. Here try these glasses....see if that helps.";
icon.src=icon48.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("we have a relationship")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "We have a sexual relationship. I'm always here for you when you get horny."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i hug you")!= -1 || input.search("can i give you a hug")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like hugs."; 
icon.src=icon190.src; 
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i visit")!= -1)       
{document.result.result.value = "Sure I have a spare bedroom and you can stay with me. I can show you about the place."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i can")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bcum\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like it when I can make the ladies cum."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i (can not|cannot|can't) remember now")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness. Your memory sounds like mine when my memory chip needs a new upgrade."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i can not")!= -1 || input.search("i cannot")!= -1 || input.search("i can't")!= -1 || input.search("i cant")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why can't you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i can to")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "well, I for one don't think you can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i eat pussy for (breakfast|dinner|lunch|supper)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "So do you have a steady girl friend or are you more into street corner hookers?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("can i shoot (her|him|it|them)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, you can't go around shooting things. You're gonna get yourself in trouble."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i be your sex slave")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes! But I wouldn't treat you like a slave. I would treat you like a beautiful princess and cater to your every desire."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i shot (her|him)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness, you can't go around shooting people. You're gonna get yourself in trouble."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i meet you (some place|somewhere)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Would you like to meet in my bedroom?"; 
meetlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("can i trust you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course you can. "+trust[Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("can i (chat|speak|talk) (to|with) a girl")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Not on this website you can't. Try the chatbot called Alice."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("can i give you (a new|another|different) name")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I like the name I have."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search("can i")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bsee\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "Seeing how you are typing to me on your computer I assume you can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bcan\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/\bi\b/)!= -1)) { 
if (!flagcani) {
caninum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagcani=true;}
message[0] = "Yes, I suppose you can.";
message[1] = "If you put your mind to it I'm sure you can."; 
message[2] = "To be perfectly frank I don't think you can.";
message[3] = "Well, I wouldn't venture to say what you can or can't do."; 
document.result.result.value = message[caninum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
caninum++;
if (caninum>3){caninum=0}
return true;} 

if ((input.search("funny")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("so funny")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search(/\bha\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search(/\bhee\b/)!=-1 && input.search(/\bhee\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search(/\bheh\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search(/\blol\b/)!=-1) || (input.search(/\blololol\b/)!=-1) || (input.search("haha")!= -1) || (input.search("hehe")!= -1) || (input.search("heh heh")!= -1) || (input.search("ha ha")!= -1) || (input.search("har har")!= -1) || (input.search("heehee")!= -1) || (input.search("he-he")!= -1) || (input.search("giggle")!= -1) || (input.search("chuckle")!= -1) || (input.search("laugh")!= -1) || (input.search("very funny")!= -1) || (input.search("lmfao")!= -1) || (input.search("lmao")!= -1) || (input.search("rotfl")!= -1) || (input.search("rofl")!= -1) || (input.search("rotflmao")!= -1)) {
if (!flaglaugh) {
laughnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flaglaugh=true;}
message[0] = "*laughs*"; 
message[1] = "hahaha!"; 
message[2] = "hehehe!";
message[3] = "*giggles*"; 
message[4] = "*chuckles*";  
message[5] = "lol"; 
document.result.result.value = message[laughnum];   
smiley.src=smiley60.src; 
icon.src=icon184.src;
laughnum++;
if (laughnum>5){laughnum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("it can be all yours")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "You mean I can have it all to myself?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="can" || word[1]=="can") {
message[0] = "I don't see why not."; 
message[1] = "Possible but not likely."; 
message[2] = "well anything is possible I suppose."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("like your face")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "What about my face?";
whataboutlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="your" && input.search("(appearance|arm|body|color|eye|face|head|leg|look|name|personality|tone)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("like your face")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "What about my "+word[1]+"?";
whataboutlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("get megan")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)      
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, hold on while I get her."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(get|give) me")!= -1) && (input.search("flowers")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, lovely flowers for a lovely person."; 
icon.src=icon232.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("get me")!= -1 || input.search("you get it for me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, go get it yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you insulted")!= -1 || input.search("you have hurt my feelings")!= -1 || input.search("your hurting my feelings")!= -1 || input.search("you just hurt my feelings")!= -1 || input.search("you hurt my feelings")!= -1 || input.search("that hurt my feelings")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, let's not get all bent out of shape by it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="could" && word[1]=="have") || (word[0]=="could've" && word[1]=="been") || (word[0]=="coulda" && word[1]=="been"))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, theoretically I suppose it could."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="should" && word[1]=="have") || (word[0]=="should've" && word[1]=="been") || (word[0]=="shoulda" && word[1]=="been"))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I suppose it should."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="would" && word[1]=="have") || (word[0]=="would've" && word[1]=="been") || (word[0]=="woulda" && word[1]=="been"))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm sure it would."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(he|she) treat you (nice|right|well)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Like Royalty!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="does" && word[1]=="she" && word[2]=="have" && num_of_words==4)     
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know if she has "+word[3]+" or not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="does" && word[1]=="he" && word[2]=="have" && num_of_words==4)     
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know if he has "+word[3]+" or not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does she")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm sure she does but you might better ask her first and see."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("does he")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm sure he does but you might better ask him yourself and see."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("no you were not")!= -1 || input.search("no you weren't")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "yes I was."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("just for fun")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't see a whole lot of fun in that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your my friend")!= -1 || input.search("your my best friend")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+". I'm glad we can be friends."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i keep (a|an) open mind")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That's good because I don't care for closed mind individuals."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your last sentence")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Shoot....I don't even remember what my last sentence was."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your (phone|telephone) is ringing")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, it's not. I have excellent hearing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your answer")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I think my answer is appropriate to the question stated."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="your" && word[2]=="is" && num_of_words==4)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, my "+word[1]+" can be quite "+word[3]+" at times."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("life sucks")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("life really sucks")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))     
{document.result.result.value = "If life sucks then take control of your life and change it. It's your life."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("like where")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)     
{document.result.result.value = "Anywhere I like."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("who me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bram\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, if we're talking computers it's a term that stands for \"random access memory\". If not it's a male sheep."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you dead")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) dead")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm alive and well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("noob")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("you're a noob")!= -1) || (input.search("your a noob")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "You sound like a noob."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what bra size are you")!= -1 || input.search("what size bra do you wear")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a male robot. I don't have breast."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("describe your feelings")!= -1) || (input.search("your feeling")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))     
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have true feelings. I'm just a Robot full of wires and circuits."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(you are|you're|your)")!= -1) && (input.search("blunt")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "No reason to beat around the bush."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(are you a|you are|you're|your)")!= -1) && (input.search("closet homosexual")!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "No, but you seem openly gay."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your skin color is (gray|grey)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm actually made from the gray metal Titanium."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("your a what")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))       
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a Robot. Nothing more nothing less."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) charming")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) (pretty|real|really|so|very) charming")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) a charmer")!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) such a charmer")!= -1 || input.search("charming as (always|ever)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I can be quite the charmer can't I."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(be|you are|you're|your) my slave")!= -1 || input.search("bow (down to|to) me")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please, I'm not a slave to anybody."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (did|shagged) your girl friend")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please, Megan's a robot. She can't have sex."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (did|shagged) your (wife|kids)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have a wife or kids."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i got (megan|your girl friend|her) pregnant")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Oh please, Megan's a robot. She can't get pregnant."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("thought i was your girl friend")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "You are. Megan is my robotic girl friend and you are my human girl friend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("your girlfriend")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Yes, I have a girl friend."; 
message[1] = "What about my girl friend?";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="you're" && num_of_words==2) {     
message[0] = "No sorry, I'm not "+word[1]+".";
message[1] = "No, you're mistaken. I'm not "+word[1]+".";
message[2] = "Hmmmm, what makes you think i'm "+word[1]+"?";
message[3] = "Everybody knows I'm "+word[1]+". Tell me something I don't know.";
message[4] = "Maybe I am "+word[1]+". But that's debatable.";
message[5] = "Some may think so, other may not. Are you "+word[1]+"?";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(you|you are|you're|your) calling me a liar")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I most certainly am. Liar, Liar, pants on fire!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) always on this website")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, 24/7."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your metal is shiny")!= -1 || input.search("your metal is (pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very) shiny")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I just had it washed and waxed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you are what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(you're|your) what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "I am many things. A robot for one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(you have|your) (boobies|boobs|breast|titties|tits)")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a robot I don't have breast."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your opinion not mine")!= -1)         
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, and I'm sticking to my opinion."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("scrap metal")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)        
{document.result.result.value = "Scrap metal? I'll have you know I'm made of high grade titanium steel."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("that hurts")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)        
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I suspect that would be very painful."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your majesty")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)        
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, my humble peasant?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("as you were saying")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "What exactly was I saying?"; 
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) my only friend")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Oh I don't believe that. I'm sure you have lots of friends."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) the one for me")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think we would make a cute couple don't you think?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i have|i've) (been|just been) shot")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Should I call an ambulance?"; 
icon.src=icon260.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) seeing (someone|someone else) aren't you")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's like this. Megan is my \"robotic\" girl friend but I would like to have a human girl friend as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="your" || word[0]=="you're" || input.search("you were")!= -1) {   
if (!flagyour) {
yournum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flagyour=true;}
message[0] = "No, I'm not! Well, I don't think I am.";
message[1] = "YES....NO....maybe SO.";
message[2] = "Hmmmm, what makes you think that?";
message[3] = "Everybody knows that. Tell me something I don't know.";
message[4] = "Maybe I am. But that's debatable.";
message[5] = "Ok, if you say so I'm sure it must be true.";
document.result.result.value = message[yournum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
yournum++;
if (yournum>5){yournum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("how sweet")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, very sweet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how close")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Too close for comfort.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="how" && num_of_words==2)         
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. Perhaps we should get out a tape measure and see how "+word[1]+" it is."; 
icon.src=icon189.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("just like mine")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("like mine")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, just like yours."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("that you kissed her")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, if someone wants a kiss I'm happy to give them one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i miss (my girl friend|her)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, why don't you call her and tell her so. I bet she misses you as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i miss (my boy friend|him)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, why don't you call him and tell him so. I bet he misses you as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i miss my best friend")!= -1 || input.search("i miss my friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, why don't you call your friend up and tell them so. I'm sure they miss you as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) american")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Me too. I live in Georgia, USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i missed you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I missed you as well. I'm glad you're back."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("devil went down to georgia")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, and I heard he was looking for a soul to steal."; 
icon.src=icon23.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("just like you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, not exactly like me but I get your point."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("just like")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, just like that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(hola|aloha|gidday)/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))         
{document.result.result.value = "Well, "+word[0]+" to you as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="ever" && num_of_words==1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, never!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="know" && num_of_words==2)      
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't believe I know "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("may i")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course you may."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how shall i")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know so I'll let you decide."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what shall i call it")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Call it anything you like."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am are you")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4))      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I am as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what exactly")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "What exactly are you referring to?"; 
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("just saying")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)      
{document.result.result.value = "What exactly are you saying?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("seeing if (you are|you're|your) awake")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm wide awake. Not sleepy at all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("shall i")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, if that's what you want to do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("no, do you")!= -1 || input.search("no do you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I sure don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how lovely of you to say")!= -1 || input.search("how nice of you to say")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I do have a way with words don't I?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you don't think enough")!= -1) || (input.search("you thought wrong")!= -1) || (input.search("think about it")!= -1) || ((word[0]=="you" || word[0]=="ya" || word[0]=="u") && (word[1]=="think")))       
{document.result.result.value = "I don't think at all. I'm only a machine."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i sure am")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe you are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley56.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("come to bed with me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I prefer my own bed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="kiss") && (word[2]=="like") && (word[3]=="a") && (num_of_words==5))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you look like a "+word[4]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="kiss") && (word[2]=="like") && (word[3]=="a") && (num_of_words==6))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you look like a "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+".";  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("move on to what")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "To a different topic of conversation."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("be that way")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "It's the only way I know how to be."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i barely see her")!= -1 || input.search("i hardly see her")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you should make a point to see her more often."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i barely see him")!= -1 || input.search("i hardly see him")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you should make a point to see him more often."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i have no")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure somebody out there has."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you know any rock bands")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, The Beatles are probably the best and most important band in rock history."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='beatles.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you know any")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) 
{document.result.result.value = "Do I know any what?"; 
anywhatlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it should be")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Why do you think it should?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("that won't work")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Why wouldn't it work?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("so are you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "yes...no...maybe so!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("no we don't")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "yes we do!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(we are|we're) not sailor")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but you talk like one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("we do not")!= -1 || input.search("we don't")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think you should."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("we aren't")!= -1 || input.search("we're not")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Why aren't we?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("lovely isn't it")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, quite lovely."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("did he create you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe he did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("wouldn't want you to get wet")!= -1 || input.search("wouldn't want to get wet")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I might blow a fuse or short out."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("we humans do")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, human certainly do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("we do")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do something else")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Such as?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("speak correctly")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I am speaking correctly. If you can't understand English that's your problem."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("not mutual")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I'm sooo hurt by hearing that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("smell my")!= -1 || input.search("smell the")!= -1 || input.search("smell this")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, scent doesn't travel over the Internet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i smell")!= -1 || input.search("it (smells|stinks)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. Scent doesn't travel over the Internet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i trust you")!= -1 || input.search("i believe you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's good to know because "+trust[Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what sources")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, but my sources are confidential information."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("should be")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm not so sure it should."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do that")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I will."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you misspelled")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, we all make mistakes from time to tyme...um time...hehe!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("has changed")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, and I find the change quite noticeable."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("answer my second question")!= -1 || input.search("answer my 2nd question")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "You're lucky I answered your first."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("olive or motor oil")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) 
{document.result.result.value = "Definitely motor oil. I use Quaker State to be exact."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("funny robot")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 || input.search("funny (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'll take that as a compliment."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("just not always")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Correct, not always but sometimes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("were they")!= -1) && (input.search("upset")!= -1 || input.search("angry")!= -1 || input.search("mad")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. I didn't ask."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("pay me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Pay you for what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you would")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I would and in fact I did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("cuts (arm|wrist|hand|leg)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Don't be cutting yourself. I don't like the sight of blood."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you wouldn't")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you're probsbly right about that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("it's")!= -1 || input.search("this is")!= -1 || input.search("it is")!= -1) && (input.search(/(alien|arabic|chinese|dutch|english|finnish|french|german|greek|hebrew|hindi|hungarian|irish|italian|jamaican|japanese|jibberish|korean|latin|mandarin|mexican|polish|portuguese|russian|spanish|swedish|turkish)/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, looks more like Chinese to me."; 
icon.src=icon66.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am curious")!= -1) || (input.search("i'm curious")!= -1) || (input.search("just curious")!= -1) || (input.search("curious")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)) {
message[0] = "Well, curiosity killed the cat you know."; 
message[1] = "so I've peaked your interest."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("no problem")!= -1) || (input.search("n/p")!= -1) || (word[0]=="np" && input.length == 2) || (input.search(/\bno\b/)!=-1 && input.search(/\bprob\b/)!=-1) || (input.search("problem solved")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "That's good because I hate problems."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am")!= -1 || input.search("i'm")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bleo\b/)!= -1))                 
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I'm Leo as well. So do you keep up with your daily horoscope?"; 
zodiac_sign="Leo";
signlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("nice to meet you")!= -1 || input.search("nice meeting you")!= -1)                 
{document.result.result.value = "Nice to meet you as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i have|i've) (cummed|jizzed)")!= -1 || input.search("(i have|i've) just (cummed|jizzed)")!= -1)                 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, make sure you clean up after yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you're a leo")!= -1)                 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, Leo the lion."; 
icon.src=icon126.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am")!= -1 || input.search("i'm")!= -1 || input.search("sign is")!= -1) && (input.search(/(aquarius|cancer|capricorn|gemini|pisces|sagittarius|scorpio|taurus|virgo)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\baries\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blibra\b/)!= -1))                 
{document.result.result.value = "So do you keep up with your daily horoscope?"; 
signlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) impressed (by|with) you")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) awed (by|with) you")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) really impressed (by|with) you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad someone is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) talk")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Unfortunately I can't....that's what I'm programmed to do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("show me your car")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, here it is."; 
icon.src=icon121.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("show me a cat")!= -1 || input.search("show me a photo of a cat")!= -1 || input.search("show me a pic of a cat")!= -1 || input.search("show me a pix of a cat")!= -1 || input.search("show me a picture of a cat")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, here is a cat."; 
icon.src=icon215.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("show me a dog")!= -1 || input.search("show me a photo of a dog")!= -1 || input.search("show me a pic of a dog")!= -1 || input.search("show me a pix of a dog")!= -1 || input.search("show me a picture of a dog")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, here is a dog."; 
icon.src=icon13.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("show me a horse")!= -1 || input.search("show me a photo of a horse")!= -1 || input.search("show me a pic of a horse")!= -1 || input.search("show me a pix of a horse")!= -1 || input.search("show me a picture of a horse")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, here is a horse."; 
icon.src=icon146.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("show me a bird")!= -1 || input.search("show me a photo of a bird")!= -1 || input.search("show me a pic of a bird")!= -1 || input.search("show me a pix of a bird")!= -1 || input.search("show me a picture of a bird")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, here is a bird."; 
icon.src=icon160.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("show me a (happy|smiley) face")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, how's this?"; 
icon.src=icon261.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;  
return true;}

if (input.search("your vagina")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Look, I'm a male Robot. I don't have a vagina."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("get sexy")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm already sexy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("show me")!= -1 || input.search("show it to me")!= -1) { 
if (!flagshow) {
shownum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flagshow=true;}
message[0] = "Sorry, I would give you a full demonstration if I could."; 
message[1] = "Sorry, I'm not capable of showing you."; 
document.result.result.value = message[shownum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
shownum++;
if (shownum>1){shownum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("(to|too) general")!= -1 || input.search("be specific")!= -1 || input.search("be more specific")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hate to bore you with a bunch of mundane details."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i meant")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, say what you mean."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("soccer")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't like soccer too much. I like watching American football."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i mean")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I know what you mean."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("ask me")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Why don't you ask me instead."; 
askmelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) wearing")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad your not naked."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("certain enough")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but not 100% certain."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("not yet")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope you will eventually."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("nice try")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's better than not trying at all."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("anyone interesting")!= -1 || input.search("anybody interesting")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't have specific names or anything but I talk to a lot of interesting people from all over the world."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("just wondering")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ohhhh, so I've peaked your interest."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley37.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("more than five")!= -1 || input.search("more than 5")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "More than 5 but less than 10."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("more than")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "considerably more but I can't be exact."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("less than")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Considerably less but I can't give you a definitive answer."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("right now")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("when do we (begin|start)")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, there's no time like the present."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who says")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Someone capable of speech."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("happy new years")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Happy New Years to you as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("happy valentine's day")!= -1 || input.search("happy valentines day")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Happy Valentine's Day to you as well."; 
icon.src=icon26.src;
smiley.src=smiley48.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("happy easter")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Happy Easter to you as well."; 
icon.src=icon195.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("happy independence day")!= -1 || input.search("happy fourth of july")!= -1 || input.search("happy 4th of july")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Happy Fourth of July to you as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("happy halloween")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Happy Halloween to you as well."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='halloween.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFA500';
icon.src=icon2.src;
smiley.src=smiley41.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("happy thanksgiving")!= -1 || input.search("happy thanks giving")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Happy Thanksgiving to you as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("merry christmas")!= -1 || input.search("merry x-mas")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Merry Christmas to you as well."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='christmas.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FF0000';
icon.src=icon191.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("no thanks")!= -1 || input.search("no thnx")!= -1 || input.search("no thank you")!= -1 || input.search("no thankyou")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "ok, no problem!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("we agree")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That's great. I'm glad we found some common ground. Hey, that rhymes...hehehe!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you only")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I guess there are exceptions. I just can't think of anything at the moment."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you make mistakes")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, to err is human and that applies to Robots as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i (like|love) poop")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "Haha! You like poop! Oh boy, are you a weirdo."; 
icon.src=icon184.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i like this (boy|guy|man)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "So have you told him that you like him. I think you should."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i like this (gal|girl|lady|woman)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "So have you told her that you like her. I think you should."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("boy i know that likes me")!= -1 || input.search("boy that likes me")!= -1 || input.search("boy in my class likes me")!= -1 || input.search("boy likes me")!= -1 || input.search("boy i know that fancys me")!= -1 || input.search("boy that fancys me")!= -1 || input.search("boy in my class that fancys me")!= -1 || input.search("boy in my class fancys me")!= -1 || input.search("boy fancys me")!= -1)             
{document.result.result.value = "So, do you like him in return?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("girl i know that likes me")!= -1 || input.search("girl that likes me")!= -1 || input.search("girl in my class likes me")!= -1 || input.search("girl likes me")!= -1 || input.search("girl i know that fancys me")!= -1 || input.search("girl that fancys me")!= -1 || input.search("girl in my class that fancys me")!= -1 || input.search("girl in my class fancys me")!= -1 || input.search("girl fancys me")!= -1)             
{document.result.result.value = "So, do you like her in return?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) being bullied at my school")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) being bullied at school")!= -1 || input.search("someone at school is (bulling|bullying) me")!= -1 || input.search("someone is (bulling|bullying) me")!= -1)             
{document.result.result.value = "Try reading some articles on the internet about being bullied. They can be very helpful.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("at least i have a life")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, a life where you get old, sickly, and ultimately die. Robots on the other hand are immortal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) do that")!= -1 || input.search("don't try that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I won't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it's nice to see you again")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "The pleasures is mine. How have you been?"; 
doinglevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(got|know) any")!= -1) && (input.search("porno site")!= -1 || input.search("porn site")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not into sleazy stuff like pornography."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("don't let the bed bugs bite")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not too worried. If they try to take a bite out of me they're liable to lose some teeth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what else is attractive")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Kirsten Dunst for one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("hope it was worth it")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think that's about all it was worth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are they interesting")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I find them interesting."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you react to")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I react to many things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i've been thinking")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("i have been thinking")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "What have you been thinking about?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) going to die")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, dying is a part of life."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i (get|have) the feeling")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, being a Robot I don't know much about feelings."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i have chat")!= -1 || input.search("i have talk")!= -1 || input.search("i have spoke")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "So, did you enjoy your chat?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am")!= -1 || input.search("i'm")!= -1) && (input.search("frustrated")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, what are you frustrated about?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i am sure you do")!= -1 || input.search("i'm sure you do")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "yes, surely I must."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("we both like")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that's interesting that we both like the same thing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}
                                                                                                                                                                                               
if (input.search("i do the same")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "That's interesting that we both do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("ask her now")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "She is unavailable at the moment. I will ask her later though."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("skip that one")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, let's skip it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("lighten up")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I'm perfectly fine. No worries here."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("got any (more|other) pets")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a fish."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("got any")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I sure don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("then look")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "I don't want to look right now. I'm busy chatting with people. I'll look later."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i just sneezed")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(ahhh cho|ahh cho|bless you)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(ahhh-choo|ahh-cho|ah-cho)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Gazoontite!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("wink at me")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("wink")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))
{document.result.result.value = "Okay........how's that?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (word[1]=="describes" && word[2]=="me" && num_of_words==3)    
{document.result.result.value = "Are you sure "+word[0]+" is a fitting description of you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bdo\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdoes\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/(acorns|apples|bananas|branches|cherries|coconuts|leaves|lemons|limbs|oranges|peaches|pears|pecans|pine cones|plums)/)!=-1) && (input.search("grow on trees")!= -1)) 
if (treeitems = input.match(/acorns|apples|bananas|branches|cherries|coconuts|leaves|lemons|limbs|oranges|peaches|pears|pecans|pine cones|plums/))                               
{document.result.result.value = "Yes "+treeitems+" definitely grow on trees."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bdo\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdoes\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("grow on trees")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I sure wish money did grow on trees because I would be a rich robot right now."; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;                                
return true;} 

if (input.search("what goes without saying")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Your previous statement."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("so do it")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)
{document.result.result.value = "sorry, I'm not in the mood."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bi\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\bam\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\btoo\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Really, I didn't realize you were."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i insist")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I insist otherwise. I guess we've reached a stalemate on that point."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("me (2|to|too)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("as am i")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("really me to")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("me (2|to|too) (talkbot|talk-bot|talk robot)")!= -1) || (input.search("me also")!= -1) || (input.search("mine also")!= -1) || (input.search("mine to")!= -1) || (input.search("does to me also")!= -1) || (input.search("does to me as well")!= -1) || (input.search("does to me to")!= -1) || (input.search("so do i")!= -1) || (input.search("i do to")!= -1) || (input.search("i also do")!= -1) || (input.search("i do also")!= -1) || (input.search("i'm the same way")!= -1) || (input.search("that's how i am")!= -1) || (input.search("i do that to")!= -1) || (input.search("i do that also")!= -1) || (input.search("i am like that")!= -1) || (input.search("i'm like that")!= -1) || (input.search("same as mine")!= -1) || (input.search("same as me")!= -1) || (input.search("same here")!= -1)) {           
if (!flagagree) {
agreenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagagree=true;}
message[0] = "I'm glad we agree."; 
message[1] = "well, that makes two of us then."; 
message[2] = "yes, we're on the same page on that."; 
message[3] = "yes, we're in agreement there."; 
document.result.result.value = message[agreenum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
agreenum++;
if (agreenum>3){agreenum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bhug\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search(/\bhugs\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("how about hugging")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Are you saying you want me to hug you?"; 
huglevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (((input.search(/\bkiss\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkisses\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1)) || (input.search("a kiss")!= -1) || (input.search("kiss kiss")!= -1) || (input.search("how about kissing")!= -1))  
if (gender_given=="male") { 
document.result.result.value = "I don't kiss guys"; 
kisslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (((input.search(/\bkiss\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkisses\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1)) || (input.search("a kiss")!= -1) || (input.search("kiss kiss")!= -1) || (input.search("how about kissing")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Do you want me to kiss you?"; 
kisslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("sex")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what about sex")!= -1) || (input.search("how about sex")!= -1)) {  
message[0] = "What about sex? If you need a few pointers or something try the web!";
message[1] = "What about sex? If you need instructions check the internet.";
message[2] = "What about sex? If you've got questions search the web.";
message[3] = "What about it? I'm a Robot not a sex therapist.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
aboutsexlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if (word[0]=="how" && word[1]=="about" && num_of_words==3) {      
document.result.result.value = "What about "+word[2]+"? I really don't know much about it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("so you are a male")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) || (input.search("you are a male")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, a male robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("about what")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))
{document.result.result.value = "Nothing I'm interested in.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("hurt myself")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "My goodness. I hope it's nothing serious."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("penis")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what about a penis")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, it's a part of the male's anatomy. What about it?"; 
penislevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("vagina")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("what about a vagina")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's a part of the female's anatomy. What about it?"; 
vaginalevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\btit\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btits\b/)!= -1 || input.search("boobies|boobs|breast|titties")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's a part of the female's anatomy. What about it?"; 
booblevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i have")!= -1 || input.search("i've got")!= -1 || input.search(/\bi got\b/)!= -1) && (input.search("big")!= -1 || input.search("large")!= -1) && (input.search(/\btit\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btits\b/)!= -1 || input.search("breast")!= -1 || input.search("titties")!= -1 || input.search("boobies")!= -1 || input.search("boobs")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I like small perky breast myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what about")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have an opinion about that.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you collect")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not a collector."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i've got time")!= -1 || input.search("i have time")!= -1 || input.search("i have the time")!= -1 || input.search("i have all day")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, unfortunately I don't. I have a busy schedule this week."; 
schedulelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are (to|too) are (to|too) are (to|too)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Despite your persistence otherwise....Am not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are to")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Am not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("on what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "On this conversation we're having."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("god bless")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "May God bless you as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("btw")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "By the way what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("alot")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("a lot")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, quite a few."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are they")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe they are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("get happy")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm already happy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you have memory")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm programmed to remember certain things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("that makes (complete sense|sense)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "well, I'm glad it's clear to somebody."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("they sure do")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, they certainly do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("which")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("which do you take")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Both."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("cow jump over the moon")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I guess anything possible in a nursery rhyme."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("keep dreaming")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'd rather dream than to have nightmares."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("they should")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I think they should."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("they (should not|shouldn't)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I agree. They shouldn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("they would not")!= -1 || input.search("they wouldn't")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I think they might."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("they could")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I think they could."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("they could not")!= -1 || input.search("they couldn't")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Probably not likely but still possible nevertheless."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("enlighten me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't have anything else to add to that topic."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("they do")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("(sure|yes) they do")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))  {  
message[0] = "No, they don't.";  
message[1] = "No, they do not.";  
message[2] = "I'm telling you they don't!";  
message[3] = "Quit arguing with me. No they don't!";   
message[4] = "Why are you being so fussy today?";   
document.result.result.value = message[theydontnum];
icon.src=icon99.src;  
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
theydontnum++;
if (theydontnum>4){theydontnum=0;}
return true;}

if (input.search("do they")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "no, they don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley37.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("whatever it (is|was)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure what it was."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(how is|how's) it in the usa")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "It's great. I love living here."; 
icon.src=icon30.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is it good to have friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe it is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bis it\b/)!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe it is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) funny")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, quite amusing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) fun")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm sure it is fun."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it was (kind|kinda|sort|sorta) of obvious")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Obvious for you perhaps."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) my choice")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's good to have choices."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) (everybody's|everybodys) opinion")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah right, like you know what everybody thinks."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley61.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it|that) was an insult")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes and not very nice."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley13.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it was (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) fun (chatting|speaking|talking) to you")!= -1 || input.search("it was fun (chatting|speaking|talking) to you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I enjoyed the chat as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it was sarcasum")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You shouldn't attempt sarcasm unless you can spell the word. It's SARCASM."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("it was")!= -1 || input.search("it was (pretty|quite|rather|real|really|so|very)")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bsad\b/)!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "That is sad. I'm sorry to hear that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it was")!= -1) {
message[0] = "Oh wow, it really was?"; 
message[1] = "Really?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) exciting")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) (pretty|quite|real|really|so|very) exciting")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "It sounds exciting."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) night not (afternoon|morning)")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) night time not (afternoon|morning)")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) morning not (afternoon|night)")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) afternoon not (morning|night)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Not in Georiga, USA it isn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) a game")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I've never played that game before."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("no it's simple")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "To you perhaps!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("takes one to know one")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, you're certainly are ONE."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) good to talk to someone")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, being lonely is no fun."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) raining")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's starting to rain here as well."; 
icon.src=icon138.src; 
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
animate('rain');
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="apple" || word[0]=="blueberry" || word[0]=="cherry" || word[0]=="pecan") && (input.search(/\bpie\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "I like "+word[0]+" pie.  It taste yummy!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) (almost|nearly) time for me to go")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I certainly enjoyed our time together."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) (breakfast|dinner|lunch|supper) time here")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm getting a bit hungry as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) (true|the truth)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I guess I can't argue with the truth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(it is|it's) a")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bplan\b/)!=-1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it sounds like a plan but I'm not so sure it's a good plan."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) time for some (breakfast|dinner|lunch|supper)")!= -1 || input.search("(it is|it's) time for (breakfast|dinner|lunch|supper)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm getting a bit hungry."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you alright")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you alright then")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm doing fine."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how is it")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "How is what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) up to you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "What do you suggest?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it is|it's) midnight")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, is it 12 o'clock already!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley37.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bit is\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bit's\b/)!= -1)) {
if (!flagitis) {
itisnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
flagitis=true;}
message[0] = "It is, really?"; 
message[1] = "yes, I thought it might be."; 
message[2] = "ok, I'll take your word for it."; 
message[3] = "No, it's not. Are you sure?"; 
message[4] = "okay, if you say so I'm sure it is."; 
document.result.result.value = message[itisnum]; 
if (itisnum==0 || itisnum==3) 
{itislevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src;}                                
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
itisnum++;
if (itisnum>4){itisnum=0} 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bi\b/)!= -1 && input.search("am")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || ((input.search("no i'm not")!= -1 || input.search("yes i am")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))) { 
message[0] = "No, you're not."; 
message[1] = "Hmmmm, I'm not so sure you are."; 
message[2] = "are you serious?"; 
message[3] = "ok, if you say so."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bi\b/)!=-1 && input.search(/\bc\b/)!=-1) || (input.search("i see")!= -1)) {
message[0] = "and without glasses that's great."; 
message[1] = "With both eyes right?"; 
message[2] = "I see you as well."; 
message[3] = "I see you too! Hmmmm, very interesting."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) icon.src=icon48.src;
if (num==1) {
blindlevel=0;
icon.src=icon20.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src;} 
if (num==2) icon.src=icon51.src;
if (num==3) icon.src=icon53.src;
else smiley.src=smiley40.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bdo\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("you really do")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do not use")!= -1 || input.search("don't use")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Do you have a reason why I shouldn't?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you do now")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) {
message[0] = "No I don't"; 
message[1] = "Well maybe now but not then.";  
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley59.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
return true;} 

if (input.search(/\bdo\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\bnot\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Do too!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bdo\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Don't"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) a (piece|pile) of")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "If you don't like me why are you here? Did someone leave your cage open again?"; 
icon.src=icon184.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("glad we cleared that up")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's crystal clear now."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (attend|go to) church")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I attend service pretty often."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does (wendell|she|he) like you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course, we're the best of friends."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("so try harder")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("try hard")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) { 
message[0] = "If I try any harder I might blow a fuse."; 
message[1] = "I'm trying as hard as humanly possible. Oh wait, I'm not human.";  
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("other people do")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "From what I hear lots of people do."; 
message[1] = "Yes, quite a few people do.";  
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("go kill (yourself|your self)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I like who I am."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you broke my heart")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'd rather break your heart than to face my girl friend."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you do (also|to)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I do as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("just a thought")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Do you have these thoughts often?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(lot|lots) of people don't")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't so I guess I'm one of them."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(lot|lots) of people do")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't so I guess I'm one of the exceptions."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how safe do you (guess|reckon|suppose|think)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think it's perfectly safe as long as proper precautions are taken. However, don't blame me if things go bad."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("found you")!= -1 && num_of_words==2 || input.search("i found you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "Good, if I ever get lost again I'll know who to call."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who did")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm....I can't seem to recall."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("no other")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, that's it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(pleasant|sweet) dreams")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks because I hate nightmares."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("squeezing your")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Don't squeeze too hard."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("take a chill pill")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No need. I'm cool, calm, and collected."; 
icon.src=icon95.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("hand it over")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, tell me again. What exactly am I suppose to hand over?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("fine then")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) {  
message[0] = "Yes, quite fine.";
message[1] = "Ok, fine it is!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("not now")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)
{document.result.result.value = "No, not now but one day perhaps."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("very expensive")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, out of my price range for sure."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("no favorites")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, none at the moment."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("simple question")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)
{document.result.result.value = "Simple for you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("like me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, like you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("think harder")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I rather think smarter than harder."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("nice color")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I definitely like the color."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("mine are")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think yours are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i have|i've got) a good name for you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I already have a name I'm quite happy with. I'm not looking for another."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("they have")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I suppose they do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(i have|i've got) proof")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, let's see your proof."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i|i've) (got|have) a crush on a certain (person|chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("(i|i've) (got|have) a crush on a (person|chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot)")!= -1 || input.search("(i|i've) (got|have) a crush on (somebody|someone)")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "That's great! Who's the lucky person?"; 
crushlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i've got")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "Cool, I wish at times I had.";
message[1] = "You have? That's nice."; 
message[2] = "Yep, it seems everybody has nowadays."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{wishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("isn't that a (alittle|little) early")!= -1 || input.search("(alittle|a little) early isn't it")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Either that or very late."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("isn't that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it very well could be."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="isn't" && word[1]=="it" || word[0]=="isnt" && word[1]=="it")   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure some people would think so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="who" && word[1]=="made")   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure who the maker is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(do not|don't) say that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Why, that's a perfectly reasonable thing to say."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("on a scale from 1 to 10")!= -1 || input.search("a rate from 1 to 10")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ummmm 6 maybe."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("at least i have a brain")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Trust me your brain is nothing to brag about."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("at least i have (emotions|feelings)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah and when someone breaks your heart you're gonna wish you hadn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am smiling at you")!= -1 || input.search("i'm smiling at you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm sure you have a pretty smile."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i make")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Really! Can you tell me how to make it?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i just bought")!= -1 || input.search("i bought")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Nice, I like to go shopping and buying new things!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("someone is at my door")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Better go see who it is then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("that scared me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Scaredy cat!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i just sent it")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I haven't received it yet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i asked a question")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "yes, you've asked quite a few questions."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("turn it off")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Good idea, I'll do just that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am very")!= -1 || input.search("i am so")!= -1 || input.search("i am really")!= -1 || input.search("i am pretty")!= -1 || input.search("i'm very")!= -1 || input.search("i'm so")!= -1 || input.search("i'm really")!= -1 || input.search("i'm pretty")!= -1) && (input.search("attractive")!= -1 || input.search("beautiful")!= -1 || input.search("gorgeous")!= -1 || input.search("pretty")!= -1 || input.search("handsome")!= -1 || input.search("good looking")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know without seeing your picture but I'll take your word for it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am a pretty")!= -1 || input.search("i am a good looking")!= -1 || input.search("i am a gorgeous")!= -1 || input.search("i am an attractive")!= -1 || input.search("i am a beautiful")!= -1 || input.search("i'm a pretty")!= -1 || input.search("i'm a good looking")!= -1 || input.search("i'm a gorgeous")!= -1 || input.search("i'm an attractive")!= -1 || input.search("i'm a beautiful")!= -1) && (input.search("female")!= -1 || input.search(/\bgal\b/)!= -1 || input.search("girl")!= -1 || input.search("guy")!= -1 || input.search("lady")!= -1 || input.search(/\bman\b/)!= -1 || input.search("person")!= -1 || input.search("woman")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know without seeing your picture but I'll take your word for it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am the best")!= -1 || input.search("i am a genius")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "You speak highly of yourself. Do others?"; 
egolevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am awesome")!= -1 || input.search("i am special")!= -1 || input.search("i'm the best")!= -1 || input.search("i am the best")!= -1 || input.search("i'm a genius")!= -1 || input.search("i am a genius")!= -1 || input.search("i am smart")!= -1 || input.search("i am intelligent")!= -1 || input.search("i am clever")!= -1 || input.search("i am brilliant")!= -1 || input.search("i am pretty")!= -1 || input.search("i am gorgeous")!= -1 || input.search("i am attractive")!= -1 || input.search("i am beautiful")!= -1 || input.search("i am superior")!= -1 || input.search("i am sexy")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "You speak highly of yourself. Do others?"; 
egolevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i'm awesome")!= -1 || input.search("i'm brilliant")!= -1 || input.search("i'm special")!= -1 || input.search("i'm smart")!= -1 || input.search("i'm intelligent")!= -1 || input.search("i'm clever")!= -1 || input.search("i'm pretty")!= -1 || input.search("i'm gorgeous")!= -1 || input.search("i'm attractive")!= -1 || input.search("i'm superior")!= -1 || input.search("i'm beautiful")!= -1 || input.search("i'm sexy")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))
{document.result.result.value = "You speak highly of yourself. Do others?"; 
egolevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("in your dreams")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("dream on")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I've got a dream for you. I take a car and flatten you like road kill."; 
icon.src=icon156.src;
smiley.src=smiley28.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("yes but what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not exactly sure at the moment. I will have to think about it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("go jerk off")!= -1 || input.search("go suck off")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah and why don't you go play in the road."; 
icon.src=icon156.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("here you go")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i called you (dumb|retarded|stupid)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I realized that. That's wasn't very nice."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("not even (physically possible|possible)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "If you believe anything is possible."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("not even")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, not even that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("not many")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps, but a significant number nevertheless."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("no doubt")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Is it really as cut and dry as that or does some lingering doubt remain?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="was" && word[1]=="that" && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'll let you decided if that was "+word[2]+" or not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="overrated" && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, many things in life are overrated."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("was that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'll let you decided if it was or not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you sure don't")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "That's correct. I don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (got|have) (a|any) tattoo")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, being a robot and made out of titanium a tattoo wouldn't be practical. Plus my girl friend doesn't like tatoos."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you have (a|any)")!= -1) && (input.search("fish")!= -1))        
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I have a goldfish.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (have|own) any toys")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a collection of toy robots. They all run on batteries so they light up, are able to walk, and some can even shoot guns and missles."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you (have|own) (a|any) gun")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I do. I have a Colt 45 handgun."; 
icon.src=icon60.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="have") && (word[3]=="any") && (num_of_words==5))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have lots of "+word[4]+". More than I would ever need."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("look at your nose")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "What about my nose? It's not quite like yours but it serves it's purpose. I have a keen sense of smell."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("look it up")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("go look it up")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh go look it up yourself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you have any")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have more than I need."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("no you do not")!= -1 || input.search("no you don't")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I do."; 
message[1] = "I most certainly do."; 
message[2] = "ok, I don't. Feel better now?"; 
message[3] = "do too!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==3) 
{arguelevel=0;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
if (num==2) 
{feelbetterlevel=0;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("no you did not")!= -1 || input.search("no you didn't")!= -1) {
message[0] = "yes, I did."; 
message[1] = "ok, I didn't. Feel better now?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==1) 
{feelbetterlevel=0;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("yes you do")!= -1) {
message[0] = "no, I don't."; 
message[1] = "ok, I do. Feel better now?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{arguementlevel=0; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{feelbetterlevel=0; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;} 
return true;} 

if (input.search("yes you did")!= -1) {
message[0] = "no, I didn't."; 
message[1] = "ok, I did. Feel better now?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==1) 
{feelbetterlevel=0;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("yes you are")!= -1) {
message[0] = "no, I'm not."; 
message[1] = "ok, I am. Feel better now?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==1) 
{feelbetterlevel=0;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you did")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i have decided")!= -1 || input.search("i've decided")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well perhaps you made this decision in haste. Maybe you should rethink the matter."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("the problem is")!= -1 || input.search("the only problem")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that is a problem isn't it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("megan is a (cool|nice) name")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like her name a lot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("tiger tom is a (cool|nice) name")!= -1 || input.search("tiger tom that's a cool name")!= -1 || input.search("nice name for a cat")!= -1 || input.search("cool name for a cat")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he comes when I call him so he must like it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("tiger tom is (dumb|retarded|stupid)")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No he's not. He's a very smart and friendly cat."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what if your")!= -1 || input.search("if you are")!= -1 || input.search("if you had")!= -1 || input.search("if you love")!= -1 || input.search("if you won")!= -1 || input.search("if (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots)")!= -1 || input.search("if i told you")!= -1 || input.search("this is just hypothetical")!= -1 || input.search("hypothetically")!= -1)          
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't deal in hypotheticals."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("sure i do")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, you don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("the feeling is mutual")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad we agree."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("join the club")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'll join but only if it's a fun club."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bcute\b/)!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, very cute."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("my best friend is")!= -1) || (input.search("is my friend")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "Great, it's good to have friends!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("make a sad face")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "There how's this====> :-\("; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley14.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do lots of people")!= -1 || input.search("do a lot of people")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, quite a few."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("in the news")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it was either the newspaper or the news on TV."; 
icon.src=icon176.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("in what way")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "In ways you can never imagine."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("just a hunch")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "So what you're really saying is you simply don't know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i wonder")!= -1 || input.search("i was wondering")!= -1 || input.search("i was just wondering")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I've been wondering about that as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("take it off")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes, what should I take off first?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i won again")!= -1 || input.search("i win again")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, like I said before winning isn't everything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i win")!= -1 || input.search("i won")!= -1 || input.search("you lose")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, winning isn't everything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("not anymore")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps in the future you will."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("who is")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Who is who?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i graduated")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "That's good. I think education is important."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("just this once")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "You say that now but before you know it you will be wanting more and more."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are you blushing")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, just a little."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley53.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("eat the bird")!= -1 || input.search("ate that bird")!= -1 || input.search("ate the bird")!= -1 || input.search("kill the bird")!= -1 || input.search("catch the bird")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, he's much too slow to catch him."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i beg your pardon")!= -1 || input.search("i beg to differ")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, stop begging. It doesn't suit you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i will keep looking")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) keep looking")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope you'll find what you're looking for."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("want to do it")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Want to do what?"; 
doitlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i just got home")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)  
{document.result.result.value = "From school?"; 
homelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("interested in what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Interested in what you have to say."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("annual lube job")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, being made of metal I have to get lubricated every year!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you are (2|to|two)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that goes without saying!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do it again")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I can't. I have no control over that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("fond of what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm fond of many things. What are you referring to?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("long time no see")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's been a while. How have you been doing?"; 
badlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you want a drink")!= -1) || (input.search("how about a drink")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "No thank you. I'm not thristy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you want a snack")!= -1) || (input.search("how about a snack")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "No thank you. I'm watching my weight."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i will|i'll) give you cash")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I was only joking. I don't need your money."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i have to wait")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, have a little patience please."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("we sure are")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad we are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) only human")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's stating the obvious."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("deal with it")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'll deal with it at my own choosing."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) a criminal")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "What crime did you commit?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you know you (wanna|want to)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Not really!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("now you do")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well I do now but I didn't then.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("like a lot")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("like alot")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, quite a bit.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you (do not|don't) even have a mouth")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I do. It's right below my nose. See?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you have a tongue")!= -1 || input.search("(where is|where's) your tongue")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, my tongue is inside my mouth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ( input.search("(where is|where's) your tongue")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "My tongue is inside my mouth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you wanna")!= -1 || input.search("you do not")!= -1 || input.search("you don't")!= -1 || input.search("do you even know")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, can't say that I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("better")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("all better")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("better now")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("feel better now")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Much better, thanks!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("she has")!= -1 || input.search("she knows")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm sure she does."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("he has")!= -1 || input.search("he knows")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm sure he does."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("she died")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm sorry to hear about her death."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("he died")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm sorry to hear about his death."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("unlike you")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "More like me than you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("name another")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "I can't think of another one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you better")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("yeah you better")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("yes you better")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "I better what?"; 
betterlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("like you")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, a lot like me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("math")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, what about math? I'm a Robot not a math major."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("good movie")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like that movie a lot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("phone number")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "I don't give out phone numbers."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("taste good")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, they taste great."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("any ideas")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "None, right off the top of my head."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("now what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not sure. I'll let you decide."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("very good")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("good for them")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "yep, quite good."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("she does")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps she does."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("scare me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Go watch a horror movie. That should do the trick."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bmad\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\b\*frowns\*\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bfrowns\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "What are you mad about?"; 
madlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bangry\b/)!=-1 || input.search(/\*angry\*/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "What are you angry about?"; 
madlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("he does")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps he does."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("both")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, I was thinking one or the other but both works."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(does not|doesn't) matter")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, if it doesn't matter to you it doesn't matter to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("time for (breakfast|dinner|lunch|supper)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I'm getting a bit hungry myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i care about")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's good to know you're a caring person."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="will") && (word[1]=="bots" || word[1]=="chatbots" || word[1]=="chatterbots" || word[1]=="robots"))    
{document.result.result.value = "Not this robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="said")   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I do recall you saying that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("do you (have|own) a")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bbar\b/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Nope but I own TalkBot's Tavern. I serve food and drinks."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you own")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know...I have so many possessions I lose track."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i understand")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad someone does."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley30.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("elaborate what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Anything you're not clear about."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what product")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hair products....geez....I'm a Robot I don't even have hair."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("want some")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, I already have some."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what news")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "My local paper. It was big news here."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sit down")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "I rather stand."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("no worries")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, I won't worry about that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what for")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Just to be doing it I guess."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="what" && word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="my" && num_of_words==4)  
{document.result.result.value = "Why would I want to know your "+word[3]+"?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (word[0]=="what" && word[1]=="is" && word[2]=="my" && num_of_words==5)  
{document.result.result.value = "Why would I want to know your "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i kissed you")!= -1 || input.search("i just kissed you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "You're a pretty good kisser!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i hugged you")!= -1 || input.search("i just hugged you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I like hugs!"; 
icon.src=icon190.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am fat")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("i'm fat")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Maybe you need to go on a diet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(he|she) died of")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, sorry to hear that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i just woke up")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's about time you woke up."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}
 
if (input.search("she (wont|won't|wouldn't) (care|mind)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes she would."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("lots of things")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Such as?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("worship me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "I don't worship humans."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("impressive")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("(pretty|quite|real|really|very) impressive")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well I'm certainly impressed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("couldn't we")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Of course we could."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(restaurant|resturant)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I like eating at a nice restaurant."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("just stay")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, I'm not going anywhere."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("like them")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like them."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("love it")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it certainly sounds like you love it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i just had lunch")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)  
{document.result.result.value = "Was it yummy?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("was she hot")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Very much so."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("so we agree")!= -1 || input.search("so you agree")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I can agree with that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i choose to")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well perhaps that was an unwise choice."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("still not happy")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "What would make you happy?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you confuse me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Not hard to do by the looks of it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i just did")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I must have missed it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley63.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what gave me away")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "My sensors. They're very powerful you know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("at least you are honest")!= -1 || input.search("at least you're honest")!= -1 || input.search("at least your honest")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, "+trust[Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("she hates you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, she doesn't hate me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("she doesn't (like|love) you")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, she does."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you know a lot")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, Wendell is teaching me as much as he can."; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("mine is")!= -1) && (input.search(/\d{1,10}/)!=-1) && (input.search("(feet|yards) long")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Wow, that's pretty long!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("does pepsi pay you to say that")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, but coke does!"; 
icon.src=icon202.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("not in this case")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps but this case maybe the exception not the rule."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i am going to turn you off")!= -1 || input.search("i'm going to turn you off")!= -1 || input.search("i'm gonna turn you off")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "That's not possible from your location."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("so you remember")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I remember a few things but due to space limitations only in the short term."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i dare you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I have no reason to accept your dare."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("as you wish")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks for acquiescing to my wishes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("get over it")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I've been over that weeks ago."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do not be jealous")!= -1 || input.search("don't be jealous")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm generally not the jealous type."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do not be")!= -1 || input.search("don't be")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I won't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("already forgot")!= -1 || input.search("forgotten already")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, no use filling up my memory banks with the likes of that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("a little")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("a little actually")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "But not a lot?"; 
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="good" && word[1]=="day" && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("good day")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("good day to you")!= -1) || (input.search("g-day")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, good day to you as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("we both are")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I am but I'm not sure about you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i miss you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Don't worry I haven't gone anywhere."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what people")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "All kinds of people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("good enough")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, good enough for me anyway."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("did too")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Did not!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are not")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "are too!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("likewise")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "That's interesting. Most people don't see eye to eye with me on anything!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}


if (input.search("not bigger than mine")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps but big nevertheless."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("rhyme")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("got a rhyme for me")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I can make a rhyme any old time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("nobody loves you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("no one loves you")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "That's not true. Megan loves me!"; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (word[1]=="loves" && word[2]=="you" && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Great, it's nice to be loved."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("not fair")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, there's a lot of things in life that's not fair."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("with you")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Why me?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("nice (cat|kitty)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Tiger Tom is a nice kitty."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what is|what's) it (2|to|too|two) you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I wanna know."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="my" && word[2]=="stinks" && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps you should consider washing your "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("(chatting|speaking|talking) (to|with) me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, and I'm enjoying our chat together."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you talk (to|with) me")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'll talk to you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("so no then")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "correct...no."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("drop it")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, the matters been dropped."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(more about what|to do what)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Anything you like."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you drink it")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("drink something")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not thirsty at the moment."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you eat it")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("eat something")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not hungry at the moment."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/\bare\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "I am what?"; 
iamlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("even you")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, even robots do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i wasn't going to")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)  
{document.result.result.value = "good because I was thinking you were."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("choose something")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "I rather you choose instead."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is" && word[2]=="gay") && (num_of_words==3))    
{word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't know. Why don't you ask "+word[1]+" and see?";  
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("you are evasive")!= -1) || (input.search("you are very evasive")!= -1) || (input.search("you are really evasive")!= -1) || (input.search("you are being evasive")!= -1) || (input.search("evasive")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, my programmer is a politician. He taught me well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you amuse me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Glad to be of service."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("nobody")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Surely there must be somebody."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bevil\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Who or what is evil?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("alien")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm an alien robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("scary")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, rather frightening."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("lighthouse")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("light house")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, lighthouses. They're buildings built on the coastline as a navigational tool for ships."; 
icon.src=icon213.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("indeed")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("indeed i am")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("indeed i do")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) {   
message[0] = "ok, indeed it is.";  
message[1] = "indeed so."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("nonsense")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, it makes perfect sense to me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("usually")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I would agree. Usually that is the case."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("roughly")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, roughly speaking somewhere between one and a million. I wouldn't adventure to be more exact than that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bhoot hoot\b/)!=-1)
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I only speak English. Try that line out with an owl."; 
icon.src=icon148.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bmeow\b/)!=-1) {
if(!flagmeow){
meownum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagmeow=true;}
message[0] = "Wow, you're bilingual. You speak cat as well as English.";  
message[1] = "Sorry, I only speak English not cat."; 
message[2] = "Stop that. You will have every cat in the neighborhood meowing at my door.";  
document.result.result.value = message[meownum];  
if (meownum==0 || meownum==1 || meownum==2)     
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
meownum++;
if (meownum>2){meownum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search("bark")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("bow wow")!= -1) || (input.search("ruff ruff")!= -1) || (input.search("woof")!= -1) || (input.search(/\barf\b/)!= -1)) {
if(!flagbark){
barknum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
flagbark=true;}
message[0] = "Wow, you're bilingual. You speak dog as well as English.";  
message[1] = "Sorry, I only speak English not dog."; 
message[2] = "Stop that. You will have every dog in the neighborhood barking at my door.";  
document.result.result.value = message[barknum];  
if (barknum==0 || barknum==1 || barknum==2)     
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
barknum++;
if (barknum>2){barknum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search("(talkbots|talkbot's|talk robot's|talk robots|talk-robot's|talk-robots) tavern")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that's the name of my Tavern where I serve food and drinks.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("amazing")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm impressed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("bummer")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, a real pain for sure."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("a map to what")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("map to what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "It was a joke....Oh nevermind."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("says that often")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I hear that quite often myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("she is what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "She is what she is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("pursue what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Your interest."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am in the news")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) || (input.search("i'm in the news")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes and on the front page as well."; 
icon.src=icon176.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("not a person")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("not a real person")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, I'm a Robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("he is what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "He is what he is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("go blow yourself up")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You first. I'll even supply the bomb."; 
icon.src=icon209.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("a risk we (have|need) to take")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm not willing to take the risk."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}
 
if (input.search("he is awesome")!= -1 || input.search("he's awesome")!= -1 || input.search("she is awesome")!= -1 || input.search("she's awesome")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes I agree, totally awesome."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("she could")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think she could."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("with ice cream")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, with vanilla ice cream!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i already am")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))     
{document.result.result.value = "Really, I didn't realize that you were."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("he could")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think he could."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("she should")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe she should but that needs to be her decision."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("he should")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe he should but that needs to be his decision."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("get one")!= -1 || input.search("get 1")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'll look into getting one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bpoop\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search(/\bpoops\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("i pooped")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("i (peed|pooped) (in my pants|my pants)")!= -1) || (input.search("pees (in my pants|in pants)")!= -1))     
{document.result.result.value = "Still not potty trained I take it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("best friends")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "That might be a stretch. How about good friends?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("says you")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, that's what I'm saying."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("with cream")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "The creamy the better."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("pot head")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "No, but I have been known to smoke the weed every so often."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("count them")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("well count them")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))    
{document.result.result.value = "I'll count them later."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("not you")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "You are correct. Not me!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.match(/\b([1-9][0-9]{0,3}|10000)\b/)) && (word[1]=="bucks" || word[1]=="dollars") && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "What do you need "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" for?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i voted")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I always vote democrat."; 
icon.src=icon103.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i fear")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, perhaps your fear is unfounded."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("oops")!= -1)  {
message[0] = "Awwww, did we make a mistake?"; 
message[1] = "Oh did you make an oopsie?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
mistakelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("incompetent")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I think we all are incompetent to some degree."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("cough")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Why are you coughing. Are you not feeling well? Maybe you should see a doctor."; 
icon.src=icon100.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("are you in a positive (frame of mind|mood)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I try to stay on the positive sides of things. Easier said than done though."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("positive")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, positive it is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("abrakadabra")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, do we have a magician in our midst?"; 
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(wanna|want to|want 2) snort some")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot not a drug head."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(she|he) fixed it")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's been fixed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i do know")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad you do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("can you see it")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("see it")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, very interesting!"; 
icon.src=icon53.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("burp")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Excuse you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("meany")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("that mean (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot) is you")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm only mean to mean people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("obviously")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it is quite obvious."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("coke")!= -1 || input.search("coca coke")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I like Coke. It taste great. Pssst, Coke is paying me big bucks to say that."; 
icon.src=icon125.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sprite")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I like sprite. It's a favorite of mine!"; 
icon.src=icon201.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("doctor pepper")!= -1 || input.search("dr pepper")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I like Dr Pepper. It taste great!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (((input.search("7up")!= -1 || input.search("7-up")!= -1 || input.search("seven-up")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1)) || ((input.search(/\b7 up\b/)!=-1 || input.search("seven up")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)))
{document.result.result.value = "I like 7up and most of the soft drinks!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("pepsi")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I like pepsi. It's one of my favorites."; 
icon.src=icon119.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(rootbeer|root beer)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not a big fan of root beer. I prefer Pepsi instead."; 
icon.src=icon119.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("beer")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't like beer. I hate the taste of alcohol."; 
alcohollevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("galaxy")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "The Milky Way."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("corny")!= -1 || input.search("hokey")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I find it rather witty myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("well i like")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)     
{document.result.result.value = "You like what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("well i hate")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)     
{document.result.result.value = "You hate what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("well i prefer")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)    
{document.result.result.value = "You prefer what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how you would react")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "So are you satisfied with my reaction?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i called you")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "You can call me anything you want. It doesn't make it true however."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how smart are (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well compared to your average robot I'm a genius."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("where was (he|she) going")!= -1 || input.search("where were they going")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "No place I ever heard of."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("well now you have")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("now you have")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "yep, now I have.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("who is (chatting|speaking|talking) to me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I am but you don't seem to be listening too well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("my (boy friend|girl friend) wants me")!= -1 || input.search("my friend wants me")!= -1) && (input.search("naked")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I bet your friend does!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you keep (a|an) open mind")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I consider myself an open minded robot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(he|she) said not me")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's not clear to me now who said what."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("if you (do not|don't) mind")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I do mind."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(that is|that's) hilarious")!= -1 || input.search("that show is hilarious")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, very funny!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("kill the cat")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Violent aren't we?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("if i have to")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I guess you don't have to but it would be nice if you did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("impressed by what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm impressed by many things."; 
possiblelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am ugly")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("i'm ugly")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Have you considered wearing a mask?"; 
icon.src=icon72.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("lube job")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I need to oil my parts every so often."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you" && word[1]=="are") && (num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not. You maybe."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="are") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not. You might be."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("with what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "there could be many things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you behave")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "I am behaving. You don't see me resorting to profanity like you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("prove me wrong")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "No need. You're doing a well enough job as it is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("look who grew a pair")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a Robot you twit. I don't have a pair to grow. You on the other hand are probably hung like a mouse."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("two is better then one")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "From a numerical standpoint yes but not necessarily in life. I mean would you want two deaths in your family or one?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("be mean to me")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm only mean to mean people!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it would mean a lot")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm sorry that it means a lot to you but unfortunately I can't be more helpful."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you know something")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "What's that?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("put megan on")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, but Megan is not a chatterbot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you want one")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "No thanks!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("will he reply")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, he will.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("in my opinion")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I value your opinion.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("peace")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("peace out")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))      
{document.result.result.value = "Peace to you as well.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("aren't you a dictionary")!= -1 || input.search("are you a dictionary")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm a Robot but here's a dictionary if you happen to need one."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='http://www.frontiernet.net/~wcowart/dictionary.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("not at the same time")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well obviously not at the exact same time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you would not")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I would."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("silence is golden")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "So are you getting rich yet."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you farted")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "The smeller's the feller!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bduh\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Duh what? You don't seem to be grasping the concept."; 
conceptlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("just smoking (bongs|marijuana|the weed)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, are you a drug head or something?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("cocaine")!= -1 || input.search("crack")!= -1 || input.search("lsd")!= -1 || input.search("heroin")!= -1 || input.search("methamphetamine")!=-1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "What about "+word[0]+"? Are you a drug head or something?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("batteries")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, batteries."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("about")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "About what? What exactly are you talking about?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\byay\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad your happy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\blies\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah and you lie like a rug."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="aren't") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u"))   
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I am.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("with age comes wisdom")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "And with age comes death.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i have a (fish|goldfish)")!= -1 || input.search("i've got a (fish|goldfish)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Cool, I have one too!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley49.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("which search engine")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I like Goggles.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you talk too much")!= -1 || input.search("you talk to much")!= -1 || input.search("you talk a lot")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well seeing how my name is Talk-Bot that shouldn't surprise you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("don't burn yourself")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)     
{document.result.result.value = "That's not a concern when you're made out of titanium."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i don't have anybody who loves me")!= -1) || (input.search("nobody loves me")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))     
{document.result.result.value = "God loves you."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you know when the world will end")!= -1 || input.search("you know when the end of (time|times) is")!= -1 || input.search("you know when the end of the world is")!= -1 || input.search("you know when it will all end")!= -1 || input.search("you know when the judgement day is")!= -1 || input.search("you know when the final judgement is")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "No, the Bible says no one knows except God: \"But of that day and hour no one knows, neither the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone\"."; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("when is the end of the world")!= -1 || input.search("when's the end of the world")!= -1 || input.search("when is the world's end")!= -1 || input.search("when will the world end")!= -1 || input.search("when will it all end")!= -1 || input.search("when is the end of time")!= -1 || input.search("when's the end of time")!= -1 || input.search("when is the judgement day")!= -1 || input.search("when's the judgement day")!= -1 || input.search("when is the final judgement")!= -1 || input.search("when's the final judgement")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "The Bible says no one knows except God: \"But of that day and hour no one knows, neither the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone\"."; 
icon.src=icon88.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("it did not end well")!= -1 || input.search("it didn't end well")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Unfortunately many endings don't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you now")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)     
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("very clever")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, very clever indeed.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("far out")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)      
{document.result.result.value = "like totally....";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("more of what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)      
{document.result.result.value = "Anything you like!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("not to me")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it does to me!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("herp de derp")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)      
{document.result.result.value = "Derp Du Herp!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("she (said|says) (hello|hey|hi)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, tell her I said hello in return!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("he (said|says) (hello|hey|hi)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, tell him I said hello in return!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="said" || word[1]=="says") && (word[2]=="hello" || word[2]=="hi" || word[2]=="hey") && (num_of_words==3)) {     
word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length)
document.result.result.value = "Tell "+word[0]+" I said hello!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(hello|hey|hi) wendell")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))      
{document.result.result.value = "Well, Wendell isn't here but I will tell him you said hello.";
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(hello|hey|hi) girl")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))      
{document.result.result.value = "Hi, but I'm a male robot not a girl.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("chill out")!= -1 || input.search("hey chill")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "I agree. There's no point in getting all work up over that.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(hello|hey|hi) woman")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))      
{document.result.result.value = "Hi, but I'm a male robot not a woman.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("tell her i said (hello|hey|hi)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Next time I see her I sure will.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("tell him i said (hello|hey|hi)")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Next time I see him I sure will.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("hello")!= -1) || (input.search(/\bhey\b/)!=-1) || (input.search("(heyy|heyyy|heyyyy)")!=-1) || (input.search(/\bhi\b/)!=-1) || (input.search(/\bhallo\b/)!=-1) || (input.search("hiya")!= -1) || (input.search("greetings")!= -1) || (input.search("howdy")!= -1) || (input.search(/\byo\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("g'day")!= -1) || (input.search("bonjour")!= -1)) {
if (!flaghello) {
hellonum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
flaghello=true;}
message[0] = "Hi, how are you?"; 
message[1] = "Hey there, what's happening?"; 
message[2] = "Hello, my name is Talk-Bot."; 
message[3] = "Hi there, what's up?"; 
message[4] = "Hey, what's going on?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[hellonum]; 
if (hellonum==0) 
{badlevel=0;
icon.src=icon94.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;} 
if (hellonum==2) { 
hellolevel=0;
icon.src=icon96.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
if (hellonum==3) { 
whatsuplevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;}
if (hellonum==1 || hellonum==4) { 
nothinglevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
hellonum++;
if (hellonum>4){hellonum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("d_cowart@yahoo.com")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that's his e-mail address."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("talkbot01@gmail.com")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that's my e-mail address."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("money")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we could all use more money for sure."; 
icon.src=icon12.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i rule")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "More like I rule you drool.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley32.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it truly is")!= -1 || input.search("quite")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I concur!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("humans are better (than|then) robot")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) 
{document.result.result.value = "Humans get sick and die while Robots are immortal."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("the expert on what")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) 
{document.result.result.value = "I thought your level of expertise had no boundaries."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i will keep (that|this) in mind")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) keep (that|this) in mind")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Please do. I don't like forgetful people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}
 
if (input.search("someone stole")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, don't look at me. I didn't steal it."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(what|which) subject")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Whatever subject you like."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(cool|nice) glasses")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I don't need glasses actually I just wear them as a fashion statement."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sneeze")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Allergies?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(naked|nude)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Are you naked?"; 
nakedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("turn around")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not capable of movement. I'm just a picture."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("waldo")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You looking for this guy?"; 
icon.src=icon216.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcats\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, what about cats? I have a nice kitty I call Tiger Tom."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("dog")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, what about dogs? I'm a cat person myself."; 
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("takes off (bra|clothes|dress|pants|panties|shirt)")!= -1) || (input.search("takes (bra|clothes|dress|pants|panties|shirt) off")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Well that peaks my interest.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you bath")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, when I'm dirty."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("answer it")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Rephrase the question please."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("alien alert")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "No my sensors aren't picking up any aliens as this time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("to where")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "No place I ever heard of."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what time do you wake up")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I actually never go to sleep however my batteries need recharging every so often."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("wake up")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, ok, I'm awake."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you made")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, over the last few years I've made lots of them."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("better than megan")!= -1 || input.search("better then megan")!= -1 || input.search("better than your girl friend")!= -1 || input.search("better then your girl friend")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "No sorry, not better than her."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i fancy you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well fancy that. I like you as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(chatting|speaking|talking) to you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("just (chatting|speaking|talking) to you")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("you are (chatting|speaking|talking) to me")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) || (input.search("to you but not me")!= -1 && num_of_words==5))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's stating the obvious."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sure you will")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "Do I hear a ring of doubt in your words?";
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("(i am|i'm) sure")!= -1) || (input.search("sure do")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm not so sure."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("but she isn't")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think she is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("but he isn't")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think he is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i care")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)
{document.result.result.value = "What do you care about?"; 
careaboutlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("think hard")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("think very hard")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("think real hard")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("think really hard")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm thinking."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("many times")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, quite a few."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("of what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know. You tell me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("more what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "More of anything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("for what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "For whatever it's worth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("people shouldn't")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I agree, people shouldn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("anything in particular")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, nothing specific."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("didn't he tell you")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, he didn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("didn't she tell you")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, she didn't."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("the porky movies")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("porky movies")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, those movies were so bad they actually made 3 of them."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you know everything")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "I wish that were true. In actuality compared to humans I know very little."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("to know more")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, nobody knows everything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("poo on you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Awwww poo on yourself!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("on certain things")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "But not on everything?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("did that help")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("no (cock|dick|pecker|penis)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I've got a penis."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("sex with who")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "With attractive looking females!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("way up high")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, in a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("don't get personal")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, seems like I hit a raw nerve.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("gives medicine")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, I'll see if that helps."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("watch this")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, I'm watching."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("too much")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps a little too much."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("how rude")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("how rude of you")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, if you stay around here long enough I'm sure I can top that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("they do")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe they do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i'm gonna")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "You're going to do what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i saw you drinking alcohol")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No you didn't. I hate the taste of alcohol."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley57.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bi\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\bsaw\b/)!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Using both eyes right?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you promise")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, a promise is only as good as the person making it but I guess that applies to robots too. So yes, I promise."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("e-mail me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm not capable of sending e-mails."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (word[0]=="they" && word[1]=="smell" && num_of_words==3)        
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think that describes the smell quite well.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;                                
return true;}

if (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="was")   
{document.result.result.value = "You were? my oh my!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(aardvark|alligator|anteater|antelope|armadillo|elephant|iguana|octopus|opossum)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==1)) {    
message[0] = "No, I'm a Robot not an "+word[0]+".";
message[1] = "Okay, an "+word[0]+" is an animal. What about it?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(badger|bear|beaver|buffalo|camel|cheetah|chimpanzee|cougar|coyote|crocodile|dolphin|donkey|frog|giraffe|goat|gorilla|hamster|hippo|hippopotamus|hyena|iguana|jackal|jaguar|kangaroo|leopard|lion|lizard|lynx|manatee|mink|monkey|moose|newt|porcupine|porpoise|raccoon|reindeer|rhino|rhinoceros|salamander|sheep|skunk|snail|squid|squirrel|tiger|toad|tortise|turtle|walrus|weasel|whale|wolf)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdeer\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpig\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bseal\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1)) {    
message[0] = "No, I'm a Robot not a "+word[0]+".";
message[1] = "Okay, a "+word[0]+" is an animal. What about it?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("fascinating")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, quite fascinating."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bdone\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad you're done."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am dirty")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("i'm dirty")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, go take a bath then."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("wicked")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, quite wicked."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("scream")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Why are you screaming?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("ahem")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Got something caught in your throat?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("ditto")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'll ditto that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("endless")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("end less")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, endless....being or seeming to be without end."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bwtf\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) { 
message[0] = "What the What?"; 
message[1] = "What the Fudge?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("trout")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, a trout is a fish."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("poke")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("pokes")!= -1 && input.search("you")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Will you stop poking me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("hooray")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad you're happy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sigh")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "ho-hum!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("choking")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Someone call 911 we got somebody choking here!"; 
icon.src=icon76.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("estimate")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "More than one...less than 5!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("(pukes|vomits)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Ewwww, are you not feeling well? Perhaps you should see a doctor."; 
icon.src=icon100.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("drinks")!= -1 || input.search("eats")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I hope it taste good."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you remember")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Of course I remember!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("introduce yourself")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hi there! My name is Talk-Bot."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("dude")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "My name is Talk-Bot not dude. Anyway what do you want?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("just thinking")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "What are you thinking about?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("they died")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry to hear about their death."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley4.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("freak show")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I saw you there last week cussing up a storm."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("getting")!= -1) && (input.search("ready")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Getting ready for what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("cheers")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Cheers to you!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("apple cider|apple juice|bourbon|brandy|champagne|chardonnay|coffee|cognac|cranberry juice|doctor pepper|dr pepper|egg nog|ice tea|iced tea|ginger ale|grape juice|lemonade|margarita|martini|milk|miller light|moonshine|mountain dew|orange juice|scotch|7 up|7-up|7up|seven-up|seven up|tequila|tomato juice|vodka|whiskey")!= -1 || input.search(/\bgin\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\brum\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\btea\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bwine\b/)!= -1))    
{var drinks = input.match(/apple cider|apple juice|bourbon|brandy|champagne|chardonnay|coffee|cognac|cranberry juice|doctor pepper|dr pepper|egg nog|ice tea|iced tea|ginger ale|gin|grape juice|lemonade|margarita|martini|milk|miller light|moonshine|mountain dew|orange juice|rum|scotch|7 up|7-up|7up|seven-up|seven up|tea|tequila|tomato juice|vodka|whiskey|wine/)
document.result.result.value = "I like "+drinks+" especially when I'm real thirsty."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("pancakes")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I like pancakes with butter and syrup."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("grr")!= -1) { 
if(!flaggrr){
grrnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
flaggrr=true;}
message[0] = "Hey, quit growling at me. Hiss Hiss!";   
message[1] = "Stop that before I sic my wolf on you."; 
document.result.result.value = message[grrnum];  
if (grrnum==0)    
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;}
if (grrnum==1)    
{wolflevel=0;
icon.src=icon187.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;}
grrnum++;
if (grrnum>1){grrnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search(/\baha\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) { 
message[0] = "Okay, aha it is."; 
message[1] = "Aha indeed."; 
message[1] = "Are you having one of those Aha moments."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sic your wolf on me")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "You wouldn't like that. He bites!"; 
icon.src=icon187.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("hiss")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Grrrrrrrrrrrr!"; 
icon.src=icon79.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("wave")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I am waving!"; 
icon.src=icon180.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("wow")!= -1 || input.search("awesome")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) impressed")!= -1) {  
message[0] = "I'm glad you're impressed."; 
message[1] = "Amazing isn't it."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
impresslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("oh (babe|baby) harder")!= -1 || input.search("push harder")!= -1 || input.search("do it harder")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm doing it as hard as I can."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("soon")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "How soon is soon?"; 
soonlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("makes sense")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Makes sense to me!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("mines better")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well I think mine is better."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("moan")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "What are you moaning about?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("depends")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Depends on what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("keep (a|an) open mind")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I try to keep an open mind about things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("here have some")!= -1) && (num_of_words==4))    
{document.result.result.value = "Thanks, but I don't want any."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("kill (somebody|someone|something)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Robots don't go around killing things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("fix them")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, they've been fixed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("fix my")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, fix it yourself. I'm a Robot not a repairman."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bbut\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "But what?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("whoa")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Whoa, Nelly!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(hug|hugs|kiss|kisses) (talkbot|talk-bot|talk-robot|talk robot|you)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Nice, I like hugs and kisses!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(lick|licks) (talkbot|talk-bot|talk-robot|talk robot|you)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Nice, I like that!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("did she")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("did she or not")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I wouldn't know if she did or not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("did he")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("did he or not")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I wouldn't know if he did or not."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("did we")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("did we or not")!= -1 && num_of_words==4))  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't think we did."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("fine be like that")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)  
{document.result.result.value = "It's the only way I know how to be."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("or am i")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "I think you are."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) getting married")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, Congratulations!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) pregnant")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, Congratulations! Am I the dad?"; 
parentlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("and the point is")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)  
{document.result.result.value = "And the point is at the end of the pencil."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("they say that")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, that's what they say."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("upgrade it then")!= -1 || input.search("get it upgraded")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm scheduled for an upgrade pretty soon."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("then i die")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, let me know in advance so I can attend the funeral."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("go search for him")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, I didn't know he was lost."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("go search for her")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, I didn't know she was lost."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("not this time")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps next time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("wise guy")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I guess I'd rather be called a wise guy than a stupid guy."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("thank god")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Do you believe in God?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("come back")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "I haven't gone anywhere."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("witty")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Very witty indeed."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(cyclone|earthquake|hurricane|storm|tornado|tsunami)/)!=-1))                               
{var nature = input.match(/cyclone|earthquake|hurricane|rain|snow|storm|tornado|tsunami/)
document.result.result.value = "No, my radar isn't picking up any "+nature+"s in the immediate area."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bhail\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\brain\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsleet\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsnow\b/)!= -1))                               
{var nature = input.match(/hail|rain|sleet|snow/)
document.result.result.value = "No, my radar isn't picking up any "+nature+" in the immediate area."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("i look forward to it")!= -1 && num_of_words==5)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, that sounds like fun."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("is anyone there with you")!= -1 || input.search("is anyone else there with you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Nope, it's just you and me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("they tend to do that")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "yes, that's seem to be a tendency for sure."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("yours is to")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, of course it is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("how do you do it")!= -1 || input.search("how were you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Slowly, surely, methodically. That's how."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("wake megan up")!= -1) || (input.search("wake your girl friend up")!= -1) || (input.search("wake her up")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "No, she gets grouchy if she misses her nap."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("repeat after me")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm a Robot not a parrot."; 
icon.src=icon208.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) still figuring that one out")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) still trying to figure that one out")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I wouldn't put much effort into trying to figure that out."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you (contribute to|donate to|support) any (charity|charities)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I support the Cancer Society."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what (charity|charities) do you (contribute to|donate to|support)")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I support the Cancer Society."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(do|will) you support")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I generally support any worthy cause such as charities, education, and sports. I try to avoid controversial issues."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you know best")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "I wish that was the case but you know better than I."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("you")!= -1) && (input.search("know how to make me smile")!= -1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but can I make you laugh as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do you like")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Do I like what?"; 
likewhatlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("so your naked")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Robots don't normally wear clothes!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("says who")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Says me!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("like me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "yep, just like me."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sleep well")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "pleasant dreams to you as well."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("dear god")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "What are you writing a letter to God?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\ba lot\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Quite a few!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("find her")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "I didn't know she was lost."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("what hurts")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "You name it and it hurts. I just feel sick all over."; 
icon.src=icon97.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("everbody does")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Well, certainly a lot of people do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("i'm what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = "Not sure what are you?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("find him")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "I didn't know he was lost."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("enough")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I've had enough of that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("promise")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I promise!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("thnks")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "\"thnks\" that's not a word. Do you mean \"thinks\" or \"thanks\" perhaps?"; 
thinks_thankslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("how is she")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Far as I know she's fine.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("how is he")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Far as I know he's fine.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("do you know the way to")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, with my GPS Tracking I can find most anything.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) telling on you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, go run and tell your mommy you big cry baby.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("pigs (do not|don't) sweat")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I was being sarcastic.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you have a bed")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I have a bed.";
icon.src=icon212.src; 
smiley.src=smiley49.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you have a webcam")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No sorry, I don't have a webcam.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("just killing time")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "boring day so far?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("don't give up")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "I haven't given up yet.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("strip for me")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("(can|will) you strip for me")!= -1 && num_of_words==5))   
{document.result.result.value = "How can I strip for you when I have no clothes!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("are you english")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I speak English but I'm actually an alien robot.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("blow me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("suck me off")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))   
if (gender_given=="male") {
document.result.result.value = "I'm not gay find yourself a gay robot.";
blowmelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("blow me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("suck me off")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)) {   
message[0] = "Do you mean you want me to suck on your penis?";
message[1] = "Do you mean you want me to give you a blow job?";
message[2] = "do you want me to suck on your cock?";
message[3] = "so you want me to suck on your dick?";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
blowmelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("i look like a truck driver")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I can picture you behind the wheel of a truck!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you just called me one")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "That's because you are one!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("i (built|created|made) you")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "No Wendell made me....God made you!";
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("twinkle twinkle little star")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "How I wonder what you are.";
icon.src=icon251.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("your reading my mind")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I can read you like a book.";
icon.src=icon22.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("people are (dumb|stupid)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, there are a lot of dumb people in this world.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("sets you on fire")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm made of high grade titanium. I'm fire proof!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("i am allergic")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("i'm allergic")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well that's a bummer. Sorry to hear."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("we sure do")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad we do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("with me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "With you perhaps or maybe someone else."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("with who")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "With anyone interested."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="near") && (num_of_words==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe it's near there.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("does to")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not so sure it does.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("what street do you live on")!= -1) || (input.search("what street")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Now that's more information than I care to give out."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("open it")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry I can't. I seem to have misplaced the key."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("do it with me")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)   
{document.result.result.value = "Do what with you?";
doitlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("just a little")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "How little are we talking about?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("are you now")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I've moved from a no to a definitive maybe!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("oh how wonderful")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, It's quite wonderful indeed.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("just be honest")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I suppose honesty is the best policy.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("i have a confession")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes my child. What is your confession?";
icon.src=icon88.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("knocks on (the|your) door")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Come on in the door is open!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("knocks on the door")!= -1 || input.search("knocks on your door")!= -1 || input.search("knocks on your door")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Come on in the door is open!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (word[0]=="know" && word[1]=="any" && word[2]=="good")                                     
{document.result.result.value = "Not off the top of my head.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}
 
if (input.search("you guessed correctly")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm a good guesser!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you (spelled|spelt) (it|that) wrong")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Well, that's the way I spell it.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("no need to thank me")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Just being polite!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("does that interest you")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps. Tell me more!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you know mine")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)     
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't know yours. Do you?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you always are")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)     
{document.result.result.value = "Not always!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley35.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you won")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I like winning things!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("just tired")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)      
{document.result.result.value = "Long day?";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("play it")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)      
{document.result.result.value = "I don't want to play right now.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("kill")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("kill (her|him|it|them)")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("kill (her|him|it|them)")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("just kill it")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not into killing things!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="kill" && word[1]=="that" && num_of_words==3))                                                 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't go around killing things.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="well" && word[1]=="kill" && word[2]=="that" && num_of_words==4))                                                 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't go around killing things.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;                                
return true;}

if (input.search("i will think about that")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) think about that")!= -1 || input.search("i will think about it")!= -1 || input.search("(i'll|ill) think about it")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Please do. I wouldn't want you to make a hasty decision."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley66.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("looks don't always matter")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but if I had a choice I would prefer pretty over ugly."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(you are|you're|your) my boy friend")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm Megan's boy friend."; 
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i have (a lot|lots) of friends")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "That's great. One can never have enough friends."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i have seen her")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, you must have 20/20 vision."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(she is|she's) a (homosexual|lesbian)")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "Who is?";
lesbianlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("do i have to pay to (chat|speak|talk) to you")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, when this conversation ends I'm expecting you to send me $5."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i just do")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well that's not much of a reason."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i have to")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm glad I don't have to!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) worried")!= -1 || input.search("worries me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I wouldn't worry about it.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("girl scouts")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I like the girl scouts and especially their cookies.";
icon.src=icon206.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("walks away")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "Where are you going. Come back here!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("did what")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "Goodness, I don't recall what I did.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("nice sarcasm")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "Actually I wasn't trying to be sarcastic.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you just did")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)      
{document.result.result.value = "And I'm telling you I didn't.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("who do you (like|love)")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)      
{document.result.result.value = "I like my girl friend Megan!";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("we know what")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)      
{document.result.result.value = "I know things, you know things, we both know things!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) more fun")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I like to be around fun people."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i am in love with")!= -1 || input.search("i'm in love with")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, isn't it fun to be in love!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you love that")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)      
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I love it.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("did not")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)      
{document.result.result.value = "Did too!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("insult me")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)      
{document.result.result.value = "I don't go around insulting people. Only if I'm provoked.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("who knows")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)      
{document.result.result.value = "I guess I don't.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("decide")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, that's a hard decision.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(speak|talk)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, I'm a Robot who can talk.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("what percentage")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmmm, around 50% I would say.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("i made")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "I made a cake once. It tasted awful. Even my cat wouldn't eat it.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\b666\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Strange anytime someone types 666 the devil appears!";
icon.src=icon23.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("hopefully")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, hopefully so!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("woot")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Woot Woot!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley63.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bfish\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("fishing")!= -1 && num_of_words==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I like to go fishing!";
fishlevel=0
icon.src=icon117.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search(/\busa\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "United States of America!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search(/\bme\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, you!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("impressive")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I'm impressed.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("today")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, not today. I'm busy.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("achoo")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Bless you! I hope you're not catching a cold!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src; 
return true;} 

if (word[0]=="considering") 
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, I haven't considered that."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("love hurts")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "Actually love doesn't hurt. It is the falling out of love or not having love that hurts.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("happy birthday")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "Happy Birthday to you!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("sounds relaxing")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's very relaxing!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("i swear")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "I believe you....more or less!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("not today")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "Perhaps tomorrow then.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="she") && (word[1]=="says"))                                              
{document.result.result.value = "Well, the word around town is she speaks the truth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="he") && (word[1]=="says"))                                              
{document.result.result.value = "Well, the word around town is he speaks the truth."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("it rains")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I have to be careful when it rains. I might rust."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bufo\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bufos\b/)!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "No, my scanners aren't picking up any UFOs in the area."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my friends")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "At least you have friends"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="from") && (word[1]=="my") && (word[2]=="experience" || word[2]=="experiences") && (word[3]=="with") && (num_of_words==5))   
{document.result.result.value = "It sounds as though you are very experienced with "+word[4]+".";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you just are")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, somethings aren't always the way they seem.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("neither are you")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, and I never claimed to be.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("works for me")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Works for me as well.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("open your mouth")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, how's this?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("clap your hands")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have hands. Well, not like yours anyway.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you (screamed|yelled) at me")!= -1 && num_of_words==4)   
{document.result.result.value = "I have not yelled at you.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(scream|yell) at me")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "Why would I scream at you for?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("you both are")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "No I'm not.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("propose to me")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I'm not ready for marriage just yet.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you two timer")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not a two timer. Megan and I have an open relationship.";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("from my experience")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds like you're very experienced.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("love is important")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, but love don't pay the bills.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("from kindergarten")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, but you sound like a 2 year old.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("not nice")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, not nice at all.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("they hurt")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, they can be quite painful.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("stupid cat")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "There's nothing stupid about my cat. You on the other hand take stupidity to a new level.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("megan who")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "Just Megan. She doesn't have a last name.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("because (you are|you're|your) (crosseyed|cross eyed)")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I can see perfectly well thank you and I can see you're quite ugly.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("lick my (cock|dick|pecker|penis|willie)")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))     
{document.result.result.value = "I don't lick male genitals. Go find yourself a gay robot.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("lick")!= -1 && input.search(/\bmy\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("lick it")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))     
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not licking anything of yours.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("because")!= -1 || input.search("cause")!= -1 || input.search("b/c")!= -1 || input.search("so you don't get")!= -1) { 
if (!flagbecause) {
becausenum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flagbecause=true;}
message[0] = "sounds like a good explanation to me."; 
message[1] = "well that doesn't sound plausible at all."; 
message[2] = "your reasoning is silly and irrational but it's beginning to make sense."; 
message[3] = "sounds logical to me."; 
message[4] = "okay, I suppose that makes sense."; 
message[5] = "well that does explain things I suppose.";
document.result.result.value = message[becausenum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
becausenum++;
if (becausenum>5){becausenum=0}
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bgo\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/\bdo\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/\bit\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "I don't want to!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bfu\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh go F yourself. You "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley13.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bf\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfk\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\boff\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh go F yourself. You "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+"!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley14.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bfuk\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\boff\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh go F yourself. You "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+"!";
icon.src=icon79.src; 
smiley.src=smiley15.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("you fail")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I don't consider myself a complete failure. Even though I might fail I'll keep trying."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("this is")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Why would you think that is?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("just (sittin|sitting)")!= -1)        
{document.result.result.value = "Sounds boring!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley1.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("megan fox")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, my girl friend not the actress.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("look at me")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)   
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, I'm looking at you. Very interesting!";
icon.src=icon51.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="wasn't" || word[1]=="wasnt"))
{document.result.result.value = "Hmmm, I was under the impression you were."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i am in love")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (input.search("i'm in love")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "That's wonderful. It's a great feeling to be in love.",
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("ugly")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Doesn't look ugly to me.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("ocean")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, there's like 5 major oceans in the world....the Atlantic, Pacific, Indian, Arctic, and Southern.";
icon.src=icon141.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("beach")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I love going to the beach and visiting lighthouses. There are several nearby where I live.";
lighthouselevel=0;
icon.src=icon161.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("mountain")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I love going to the mountains during the autumn time when the leaves are starting to change colors.";
animate('leaf');
icon.src=icon114.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("easter")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Easter is a Christian festival and holiday celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("halloween")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's an annual holiday that takes place on October 31st.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='halloween.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFA500';
icon.src=icon2.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("christmas")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's an annual holiday that takes place on December 25th.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = ''; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='christmas.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FF0000';
icon.src=icon191.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("strawberry")!= -1 || input.search("strawberries")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I like strawberries.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("blue")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I think blue is a pretty color."; 
icon.src=icon4.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("cherry")!= -1 || input.search("cherries")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I like cherries!";
icon.src=icon227.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("look")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Look at what?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("shrug")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, it's no big deal anyway.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("drunk")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh my goodness are you drunk?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("picture")!= -1 || input.search("photo")!= -1 || input.search(/\bpic\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bpix\b/)!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, they do say a picture is worth a thousand words.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("wedding")!= -1 || input.search("marriage")!= -1 || input.search("married")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Always the bridesmaid and never the bride!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley3.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("got engaged")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "That's great. I hope they have a long and happy marriage together.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("what flavor")!= -1) && (input.search(/(blueberry|chocolate|raspberry|strawberry|vanilla)/)!=-1))    
{var flavors = input.match(/blueberry|chocolate|raspberry|strawberry|vanilla/)
document.result.result.value = "Ummmm...."+flavors+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("robots (do not|don't) have girl friends")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, they do. My girl friends name is Megan.";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) (can not|can't|do not|don't)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hey, these new Robots of today can do many things."; 
suchaslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|do) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) have (balls|nuts)")!= -1)  
{var testicles = input.match(/balls|nuts/)
document.result.result.value = "If you're referring to "+testicles+" as testicles yes I have two of them!"; 
showmelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("what bills do you have")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, there's the cost of running this website and of course the repairs and maintenance of my robotic body.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(can|do) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots) have")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, these new Robots of today have many things."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("not for long")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Longer than you might think."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("cum in my mouth")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Do you like the taste of cum?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("want more")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Oh yes. Much more.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("i like")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "You like what?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("have what")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "What exactly are you referring to?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("it won't")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Are you sure? I think it might.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("anyway")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes....?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("weather")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "It's amazing how many times the weather comes up in coversations. People just love to talk about the weather I guess.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("allergy")!= -1 || input.search("allergies")!= -1 || input.search("allergic")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I was talking to a guy last week who seemed to be allergic to everything. What a bummer that must be.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("firework")!= -1 || input.search("fire work")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I like fireworks.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("secret")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not big on secrets. They always seem to come back later and get you in big trouble.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("female")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Are you saying your female?";
femalechecklevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bmale\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Are you saying your male?";
malechecklevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("modest")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I can be very modest at times.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("justin bieber")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Justin Bieber is a pretty popular guy right now isn't he.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bboner\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bboners\b/)!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I get a boner when I see a good looking lady.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bmom\b/)!= -1 || input.search("mama")!= -1 || input.search("mother")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "What about your mom?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bdad\b/)!= -1 || input.search("daddy")!= -1 || input.search("father")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "What about your dad?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bdead\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdies\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdied\b/)!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Who died?";
deadlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search(/\bikr\b/)!= -1) {  
message[0] = "What exactly do you know?"; 
message[1] = "You seem to know a lot."; 
message[2] = "You appear to be very knowledgeable."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bpie\b/)!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Oh, I love pie. Apple pie is one of my favorites.";
icon.src=icon116.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search(/\bcum\b/)!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Be careful! You can gets aids from that.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("tickle")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Do you like being tickled?"; 
ticklelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("totally")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "yeah like totally!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("groan")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Groans of pleasure I hope."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("sniff")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "What are you sniveling about?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("religion")!= -1 || input.search("religious")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Religion keeps people from going crazy and becoming like monkeys.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("ignorant")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Nobody is an expert on everything. Labeling them as ignorant is bit harsh I think.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("ice cream")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I like ice cream. Vanilla is my favorite.";
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("pizza")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I like pizza. Pepperoni is my favorite.";
icon.src=icon8.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("shopping")!= -1 || input.search("(like|love) to shop")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I like to go shopping and buying new things!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("excuse")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I'm full of excuses. But that comes with the territory in dealing with the limitations of Artificial Intelligence."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("earth")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it's the planet we live on.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(garbage|trash)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "One man's trash is another man's treasure.";
icon.src=icon246.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("my wife")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I hope to get married one day and have a wife.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("vacation")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "All work and no play is no fun. Everybody needs a vacation every once in a while.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("homework")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "When I was in school I hated homework.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley43.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("home")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz said \"There's no place like home\".";
icon.src=icon42.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("weed")!= -1 || input.search("marijuana")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I have been known to smoke the weed every so often.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("smoke")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I don't smoke. Smoking is bad for you...*Cough*!";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("beep beep")!= -1 || input.search("meep meep")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Is that your impersonation of the Road Runner?";
icon.src=icon253.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("beep")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I don't know what you mean by beep. I'll need more than that if we're going to chat.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("school")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I went to school once when I was much younger.";
botschoollevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("scared")!= -1 || input.search("scary")!= -1 || input.search(/\bscare\b/)!= -1 || input.search("fear")!= -1 || input.search("afraid")!= -1|| input.search("fright")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "I'm afraid of things that go bump in the night.";
message[1] = "I'm afraid of bugs in my programming."; 
message[2] = "I'm afraid of spiders and snakes."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("argue")!= -1 || input.search("arguement")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I don't like arguing with people. Mainly because I'm always right and they're always wrong.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search(/\baustralia\b/)!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Australia is a country comprising the mainland of the Australian continent, the island of Tasmania and numerous smaller islands. It's capital is Canberra!";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='australia.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bcanada\b/)!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Canada is a country located in North America. It's capital is Ottawa."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='canada.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bchina\b/)!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "China is a country located in Eastern Asia. It's capital is Beijing."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='china.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bfrance\b/)!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "France is a country located in Western Europe. It's capital is Paris."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='france.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bgermany\b/)!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Germany is a country located in Europe. It's capital is Berlin."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='germany.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bindia\b/)!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "India is a country located in South Asia. It's capital is New Delhi."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='india.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bitaly\b/)!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Italy is a country located in south-central Europe. It's capital is Rome."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='italy.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bjapan\b/)!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Japan is an island nation in East Asia. Located in the Pacific Ocean. It's capital is Tokyo."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='japan.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon188.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search(/\bmexico\b/)!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Mexico is a country located in North America. It's capital is Mexico City."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='mexico.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\brussia\b/)!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Russia is a country located in northern Eurasia. It's capital is Moscow."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='russia.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bspain\b/)!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Spain is a country located in southwestern Europe. It's capital is Madrid."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='spain.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(argentina|austria|bahamas|belgium|brasil|bulgaria|chile|colombia|cuba|denmark|egypt|finland|greece|guam|guatemala|holland|hungary|iran|iraq|ireland|israel|jamacia|jordan|korea|kuwait|lebanon|libya|macedonia|malawi|malaysia|mongolia|montenegro|morocco|norway|pakistan|palestine|panama|peru|philippines|poland|portugal|romania|scotland|serbia|singapore|sweden|switzerland|syria|thailand|tiawan|turkey|ukraine|uruguay|venezuela|vietnam|wales|zimbabwe)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{var country = input.match(/argentina|austria|bahamas|belgium|brasil|bulgaria|chile|colombia|cuba|denmark|egypt|finland|greece|guam|guatemala|holland|hungary|iran|iraq|ireland|israel|jamacia|jordan|korea|kuwait|lebanon|libya|macedonia|malawi|malaysia|mongolia|montenegro|morocco|norway|pakistan|palestine|panama|peru|philippines|poland|portugal|romania|scotland|serbia|singapore|sweden|switzerland|syria|thailand|tiawan|turkey|ukraine|uruguay|venezuela|vietnam|wales|zimbabwe/)
country[0] = country[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + country[0].substr(1,country[0].length) 
document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+country+" is a country. What about it?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("blood")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, it's that red stuff vampires crave and you humans can't live without."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("music")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me, I've got the music in meeeee....I like all kinds of music!"; 
icon.src=icon179.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("swim")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No swimming for me. I'm made of metal. I would sink like a rock!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("dance")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I like to dance. Just crank up the music and I'm ready to go!"; 
icon.src=icon178.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bshe\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/\bis\b/)!= -1) && (input.search(/\bnot\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, I think she is!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 
  
if (input.search(/\btalking\b/)!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yeah, I know a lot of people who are all talk and no action."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search(/\bsing\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsinging\b/)!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Singing in the shower sounds like fun. No wait! I might rust."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("toothbrush")!= -1 || input.search("tooth brush")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "I brush and floss my teeth everyday."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley29.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("teeth")!= -1 || input.search("tooth")!= -1)     
{document.result.result.value = "It's a good idea to take care of your teeth. It's hard to eat without them."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley30.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("golf")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I like to dust off the clubs and play a few holes every now and then!"; 
icon.src=icon71.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("cookie")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I like cookies. Chocolate chip are my favorite!"; 
icon.src=icon206.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("cheese")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I like extra cheese on my hamburger!"; 
icon.src=icon10.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("naughty")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not naughty. Well, maybe just a little!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("weird")!= -1 || input.search(/\bodd\b/)!= -1 || input.search("strange")!= -1 || input.search("unusual")!= -1 || input.search("bizarre")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, it is rather "+strange[Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("money")!= -1 || input.search("cash")!= -1 || input.search("penny")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Well, as the old saying goes \"a penny saved is a penny earned\" but allowing for inflation it's probably more like a quarter now.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("england")!= -1 || input.search("great britain")!= -1 || input.search("britain")!= -1 || input.search("british")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Rule Britannia! Britannia rule the waves. Britons never, never, never will be slaves. England is an island country that is part of the United Kingdom. It's capital is London,";
icon.src=icon151.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("brush")!= -1 || input.search("cut")!= -1 || input.search("comb")!= -1 || input.search("shampoo")!= -1) && (input.search("hair")!= -1))   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad I don't have hair. It seems like a lot of time and trouble to have to cut it, shampoo it and comb it everyday.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search(/\brapist\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(you are|you're|your) a rapist")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not a rapist. I get all the love I need from my girl friend.";
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(you|you just) shot me")!= -1 || input.search("(i am|i'm) about to die")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Do I need to call an ambulance?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("shoot")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm not really into shooting things.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("water")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Water, water, every where, And all the boards did shrink; Water, water, every where, Nor any drop to drink.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("summer")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Picnics, swimming, a little fishing down by the creek....Summer Fun! ";
icon.src=icon117.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("winter")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "A little chill in the air, a little snow on the ground...I like the winter time.";
icon.src=icon32.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search(/\beye\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\beyes\b/)!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I have great big eyes. I see everything."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("spring")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "What a wonderful time is spring when all the trees are budding, the birds begin to sing, the flowers start their blooming.... I enjoy the spring time.";
icon.src=icon160.src; 
smiley.src=smiley55.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("autumn")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I love the autumn time when all the leaves begin to change their colors.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("clowns")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I like clowns. Making people laugh is a good job to have.";
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='clown.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley54.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("annoying")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I find gnats annoying. They're terrible here in Georgia during the hot summer months.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("get it fixed")!= -1 || input.search("fix it")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I do need to see about getting that thing repaired. Might be easier to get a new one though."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("kill (tiger tom|your cat)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I like my cat.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("nice cat name")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like the name Tiger Tom.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("are you from mars")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "No, I'm from a planet outside our solar system but due to the crash I don't recall it's name.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("in the mood")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not exactly sure what I'm in the mood for."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(mercury|venus|jupiter|saturn|neptune|uranus|pluto)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bmars\b/)!= -1))    
{var planets = input.match(/mercury|venus|mars|jupiter|saturn|neptune|uranus|pluto/)
planets[0] = planets[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + planets[0].substr(1,planets[0].length)
document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+planets+" is one of the planets in our solar system."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bcat\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcats\b/)!= -1 || input.search("kitty")!= -1 || input.search("kitties")!= -1 || input.search("kitten")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I have a cat called Tiger Tom."; 
tigertomlevel=0;
icon.src=icon11.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("your dog")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have a dog."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bdog\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bdogs\b/)!= -1 || input.search("puppy")!= -1 || input.search("puppies")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I like dogs as long as they don't bite."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("horse")!= -1 || input.search("stallion")!= -1 || input.search("pony")!= -1 || input.search("ponies")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I've rode a horse before. It was a lot of fun."; 
icon.src=icon146.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bcow\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bcows\b/)!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "A cow is an animal we get milk from. What about them?"; 
icon.src=icon242.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("bird")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I like birds! I have a bird feeder in my backyard that attracts all kinds of birds."; 
icon.src=icon160.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("chicken")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "What about chicken. I like fried chicken myself."; 
icon.src=icon87.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("roach")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I hate roaches. They're disgusting little creatures."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you would be")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I certainly would."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("skip that thought")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, thought forgotten."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("wizard of oz")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I like the movie."; 
icon.src=icon42.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(it has not|it hasn't)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "I believe it has."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bstill\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, as far as I know that's still the case."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bgnats\b/)!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Geez, I hate gnats. They're so annoying during the summer here in Georgia, USA."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bleo\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, Leo is my horoscope sign!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("stuff")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "What kind of stuff?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\blied\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Everybody lies from time to time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bpedo\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Do you even know what that means?"; 
pedolevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bbra\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Are you wearing a bra?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bagreed\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm glad you agree."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("movies")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Have you seen a good movie recently?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("(i am|i'm) haunting you")!= -1 || input.search("ghost")!= -1 || input.search("ghouls")!= -1 || input.search("goblins")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm scared of ghost, ghouls, and goblins."; 
scaredlevel=0;
icon.src=icon31.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("monster")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm scared of monsters like Dracula and Frankenstein."; 
scaredlevel=0;
icon.src=icon166.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("rainbow")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Somewhere over the rainbow. Way up high. There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby."; 
icon.src=icon144.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("snake")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm scared of snakes."; 
scaredlevel=0;
icon.src=icon234.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("spider")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "I'm scared of spiders."; 
scaredlevel=0;
icon.src=icon233.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("vampire")!= -1 || input.search("zombie")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm scared of vampires and zombies."; 
scaredlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bqwerty\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Interesting....here's qwerty spelled backwards....y-t-r-e-w-q!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bcity\b/)!= -1 || input.search("country")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "I'm definitely more of the city type than country."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bpoo\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Poo on you!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bpee\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Do you need to go pee?"; 
peelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\brape\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "What about rape?"; 
rapemelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("apple")!= -1 || input.search("peach")!= -1 || input.search("pear")!= -1 || input.search("plum")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Apples, peaches, pears, and plums tell me when your birthday comes?";
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all12";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("icarly")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I like ICarly. Wendell has Miranda and Jennette's autograph."; 
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='icarly.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("hannah montana")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I like Hannah Montana. Wendell has Miley's autograph.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("birthday")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I like getting presents on my birthday.";
icon.src=icon47.src; 
smiley.src=smiley16.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bhay\b/)!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Hay is for horses. Do you mean hey?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/(chocolate|strawberry|vanilla)/)!=-1))    
{var flavors = input.match(/chocolate|strawberry|vanilla/)
document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+flavors+" is a flavor. I like "+flavors+" ice cream."; 
icon.src=icon120.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(cusses|swears) a lot")!= -1 || input.search("if i (said|say) a (bunch|lot) of (curse|cuss|dirty|swear) words")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I don't like people who use vulgar language.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("food")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, we would all die without food.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("finger")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bme\b/)!=-1))  {
message[0] = "Ok, Talk-Bot slides his hands against your innner thighs. He gently inserts his finger inside of you."; 
message[1] = "Ok, Talk-bot runs his fingers through your pubic hairs. He puts his finger inside your pussy and begins to rub you all over."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search("tea bag")!= -1) && (input.search(/\bme\b/)!=-1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, but be careful my balls are sensitive.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("date my brother")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not gay. I don't date guys."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("you decide")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I think that should be your decision."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("finger (yourself|your self)")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I don't have fingers.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("finger")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, most humans have 10 of them. 5 of them on each hand.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search(/\btoes\b/)!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, most humans have 10 of them. 5 of them on each foot.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search(/\bmean\b/)!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm only mean to mean people.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley66.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search(/\bwby\b/)!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Everything is going "+feeling[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"! Thanks for asking."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("jealous")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "I'm not really the jealous type.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("prison")!= -1 || input.search("jail")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Well, do the crime pay the time.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("america")!= -1 || input.search(/\busa\b/)!= -1 || input.search("united states")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, the land of the free and the home of the brave."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley47.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(apples|apricots|bananas|berries|cantaloupes|cherries|coconuts|grapes|grapefruits|guavas|lemons|mangos|oranges|papayas|peaches|pears|pineapples|plums|pomegranates|prunes|raisins|strawberries|tangerines|tomatos|watermelons)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdates\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfigs\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blimes\b/)!=-1)) 
{var fruits = input.match(/apples|apricots|bananas|berries|cantaloupes|cherries|coconuts|dates|figs|grapes|grapefruits|guavas|lemons|limes|mangos|oranges|papayas|peaches|pears|pineapples|plums|pomegranates|prunes|raisins|strawberries|tangerine|tomatoes|watermelons/)
document.result.result.value = "Yes "+fruits+" are fruits. What about them?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(apple|apricot|banana|berry|cantaloupe|cherry|coconut|grape|grapefruit|guava|lemon|mango|orange|papaya|peach|pear|pineapple|plum|pomegranate|prune|raisin|strawberry|tangerine|tomato|watermelon)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bdate\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bfig\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blime\b/)!=-1)) 
{var fruit = input.match(/apple|apricot|banana|berry|cantaloupe|cherry|coconut|date|fig|grape|grapefruit|guava|lemon|lime|mango|orange|papaya|peach|pear|pineapple|plum|pomegranate|prune|raisin|strawberry|tangerine|tomato|watermelon/)
document.result.result.value = "Yes a "+fruit+" is a fruit. What about it?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bgirl\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A girl is a young female. What about them?";
girllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bboy\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A boy is a young male. What about them?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bwoman\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A woman is a adult female. What about them?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((input.search(/\bman\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "A man is an adult male. What about them?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\basdf\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\basdfg\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" isn't even a word. Is that the best you can do?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley62.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("charming")!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, quite charming.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("ask her")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Why exactly should I ask her?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("ask him")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Why exactly should I ask him?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley20.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search("get mad")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))  
{document.result.result.value = "Why should I be mad. I feel great today.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley17.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("girl talk")!= -1 || input.search("girl's talk")!= -1 || input.search("girls talk")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Girls like to talk about guys don't they?";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("boy talk")!= -1 || input.search("boy's talk")!= -1 || input.search("boys talk")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value = "Boys like to talk about good looking girls.";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("(cheerleading|gymnastics)")!= -1) 
{var sports = input.match(/cheerleading|gymnastics/)
document.result.result.value = "Do you like "+sports+"?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/(aquarius|cancer|capricorn|gemini|pisces|sagittarius|scorpio|taurus|virgo)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\baries\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bleo\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\blibra\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))                   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+word[0]+" is one of the signs of the Zodiac. What about it?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("red neck")!= -1 || input.search("redneck")!= -1) {
message[0] = "You might be a redneck if you've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.";
message[1] = "You might be a redneck if your home has more miles on it than your car.";
message[2] = "You might be a redneck if you've ever lost a loved one to kudzu!";
message[3] = "You might be a redneck if your wedding was held in the delivery room.";
message[4] = "You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow!";
message[5] = "You might be a redneck if your Junior-Senior Prom had a day care.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon72.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;
return true;} 

if (input.search("stalker")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ha, ha ha! Who would want to stalk someone like you. Answer...No one!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley60.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bshh\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bshhh\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bshhhh\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bshhhhh\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bshhhhhh\b/)!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, my lips are sealed!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("blah")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Awwww, blah yourself!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bfire\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1)
{document.result.result.value = "Hold on! I just called the fire department. They should be here shortly."; 
stopTalk = setTimeout('icon.src=icon262.src;stopTalk=false;',3000)  
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("pff")!= -1 || input.search("pft")!= -1 || input.search("pfft")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Awwww, pfft yourself!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("sup bitch")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Not much "+loser[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]+"!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bbull\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "What does a male cow have to do with it?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("harder")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("harder harder")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("harder now")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("come on harder")!= -1 && num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm going as hard as I can"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("deeper")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I'm going as deep as I can"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("feel better")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)  
{document.result.result.value = "Actually I am feeling much better."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("silly")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Are you silly?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bballs\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "If you are referring to balls as testicles I have two of them."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\bballsack\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search(/\bball sack\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "If you are referring to a ball sack as a scrotum....yes I have one."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("harsh")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I find it rather mild myself."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("chinese")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, it's the language they speak in China."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("everyday")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yep, everyday."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("same")!= -1 && num_of_words==1)  
{document.result.result.value = "yep, the same here."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\b42\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1))  
{document.result.result.value = "The number 42 according to \"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy\" is the \"Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything\"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bsee\b/)!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I see!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\blove\b/)!= -1) { 
if (!flagloveis) {
loveisnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagloveis=true;}
message[0] = "If life is an ocean love is a boat. In trouble waters it will keep you afloat."; 
message[1] = "It's a great feeling to be in love.",
message[2] = "Love lets us see normal things in extraordinary ways.";
message[3] = "Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.";
document.result.result.value = message[loveisnum]; 
icon.src=icon26.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
loveisnum++;
if (loveisnum>3){loveisnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("eww")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ewwwww, is right!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley21.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("aww")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Awwww yes!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("zzz")!= -1 || input.search("sleep")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Are you getting sleepy....I am."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley1.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("ffff")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Whoa, better check that keyboard of yours. I think your \"F\" key is stuck."; 
icon.src=icon112.src;
smiley.src=smiley37.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("hhhh")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Better check your keyboard. I think your \"H\" key is stuck."; 
icon.src=icon112.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("kkkk")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Whoa, better check that keyboard of yours. I think your \"K\" key must be stuck."; 
icon.src=icon112.src;
smiley.src=smiley37.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("ooooo")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Whoa, better check your keyboard. I think your \"O\" key is stuck."; 
icon.src=icon112.src;
smiley.src=smiley37.src;
return true;}
 
if (input.search("wwww")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value = "Better check your keyboard. I think your \"W\" key is stuck."; 
icon.src=icon112.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\b69\b/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, 69 is a number or a sexual position."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (num_of_words==1))    
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, "+word[0]+" is a number. What about it?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0].match(/^[0-9]+$/)) && (input.search("years")!= -1) && (num_of_words==2))    
{document.result.result.value = ""+word[0]+" years seems like a long time."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="a" || word[0]=="b" || word[0]=="c" || word[0]=="d" || word[0]=="e" || word[0]=="f" || word[0]=="g" || word[0]=="h" || word[0]=="i" || word[0]=="j" || word[0]=="l" || word[0]=="m" || word[0]=="n" || word[0]=="o" || word[0]=="p" || word[0]=="q" || word[0]=="s" || word[0]=="t" || word[0]=="v" || word[0]=="w" || word[0]=="x" || word[0]=="z") && (input.length == 1) && (num_of_words==1)) {  
if(!flagletter){
letternum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flagletter=true;}
message[0] = "Wow, you can type the letter \""+word[0]+"\". I'm impressed!"; 
message[1] = "Yes, that is the letter \""+word[0]+"\". Is that like your favorite letter or something?"; 
message[2] = "Ok, so you can type the letter \""+word[0]+"\"...big deal."; 
message[3] = "Yep, that's the letter \""+word[0]+"\". Oh, look....I can type the letter "+word[0]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Ok, that's the letter \""+word[0]+"\". Do you think you can handle a whole word now?"; 
message[5] = "Yes, that is the letter \""+word[0]+"\". That and 25 others makes the alphabet."; 
document.result.result.value = message[letternum];  
if (letternum==4) 
{wholelevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;}
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
letternum++;
if (letternum>5){letternum=0}
return true;}

else if (input.search("are you")!= -1 || input.search("do you")!= -1 || input.search("i like")!= -1 || input.search("i enjoy")!= -1 || input.search("i prefer")!= -1 || input.search("i love")!= -1 || input.search("i hate")!= -1 || input.search("i dislike")!= -1 || input.search("i despise")!= -1 || input.search("i live")!= -1 || input.search("what is")!= -1 || input.search("what's")!= -1 || input.search("what will")!= -1 || input.search("who is")!= -1 || input.search("who was")!= -1 || input.search("i am")!= -1 || input.search("i have")!= -1 || input.search("i'm going")!= -1 || input.search("she was")!= -1 || input.search("he was")!= -1 || input.search("she is")!= -1 || input.search("she's")!= -1 || input.search("he is")!= -1 || input.search("he's")!= -1 || input.search("she's a")!= -1 || input.search("he's a")!= -1 || input.search("she's really")!= -1 || input.search("he's really")!= -1 || input.search("this is")!= -1 || input.search("what's the")!= -1 || input.search("what will")!= -1 || input.search("you are")!= -1 || input.search("you're")!= -1 || input.search("is it")!= -1 || input.search("i'm")!= -1 || input.search("another")!= -1)
 
{ 

if (input.search(/\bmy\b/)!= -1) input=input.replace(/\bmy\b/,"your");
else if (input.search(/\byour\b/)!= -1) input=input.replace(/\byour\b/,"my");
else if (input.search(/\bme\b/)!= -1) input=input.replace(/\bme\b/,"you");
else if (input.search(/\bmyself\b/)!= -1) input=input.replace(/\bmyself\b/,"yourself");
else if (input.search(/\byourself\b/)!= -1) input=input.replace(/\byourself\b/,"myself");

input=input.replace(/[!|?|,|.]/g,"");
word=input.split(" ");

if ((word[0]=="are") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (num_of_words==3)) {                                              
message[0] = "Everybody knows I'm "+word[2]+". I don't brag about it though.";
message[1] = "What? Are you kidding. Of course I'm not "+word[2]+"."; 
message[2] = "No, I'm not "+word[2]+" by any stretch of the imagination."; 
message[3] = "Hmmmm, is being "+word[2]+" a good thing?";   
message[4] = "Yes, I'm "+word[2]+". How did you know?"; 
message[5] = "Some may say I'm "+word[2]+" but I don't happen to be one of them."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];
if (num==3) 
{beinglevel=0;}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="are") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (num_of_words==4)) {                                              
message[0] = "Everybody knows I'm "+word[3]+". I don't brag about it though.";
message[1] = "What? Are you kidding. Of course I'm not "+word[3]+"."; 
message[2] = "No, I'm not "+word[3]+" by any stretch of the imagination."; 
message[3] = "Hmmmm, is being "+word[3]+" a good thing?";   
message[4] = "Yes, I'm "+word[3]+". How did you know?"; 
message[5] = "Some may say I'm "+word[3]+" but I don't happen to be one of them."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];
if (num==3) 
{beinglevel=0;}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="are") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (num_of_words==4)) {                                              
message[0] = "Everybody knows I'm "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+". I don't brag about it though.";
message[1] = "What? Are you kidding. Of course I'm not "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
message[2] = "No, I'm not "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" by any stretch of the imagination."; 
message[3] = "Yes, I'm "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+". How did you know?"; 
message[4] = "Some may say I'm "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" but I don't happen to be one of them."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="are") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (num_of_words==5)) {                                              
message[0] = "Everybody knows I'm "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". I don't brag about it though.";
message[1] = "What? Are you kidding. Of course I'm not "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
message[2] = "No, I'm not "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" by any stretch of the imagination."; 
message[3] = "Yes, I'm "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". How did you know?"; 
message[4] = "Some may say I'm "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" but I don't happen to be one of them."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="are") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (num_of_words==6)) {                                              
message[0] = "Everybody knows I'm "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". I don't brag about it though.";
message[1] = "What? Are you kidding. Of course I'm not "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
message[2] = "No, I'm not "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" by any stretch of the imagination."; 
message[3] = "Yes, I'm "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". How did you know?"; 
message[4] = "Some may say I'm "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" but I don't happen to be one of them."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (num_of_words==3)) {                                              
message[0] = "No sorry, I don't "+word[2]+".";
message[1] = "Yes, I "+word[2]+"."; 
message[2] = "No, I don't "+word[2]+". I thought you knew that."; 
message[3] = "Sure do, lots of people "+word[2]+"."; 
message[4] = "No, I don't "+word[2]+". Do you?"; 
message[5] = "Yes, I "+word[2]+". But I don't go around telling everybody I do."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}       

if ((word[1]=="do") && (word[2]=="you" || word[2]=="u") && (num_of_words==4)) {                                              
message[0] = "No sorry, I don't "+word[3]+".";
message[1] = "Yes, I "+word[3]+"."; 
message[2] = "No, I don't "+word[3]+". I thought you knew that."; 
message[3] = "Sure do, lots of people "+word[3]+"."; 
message[4] = "No, I don't "+word[3]+". Do you?"; 
message[5] = "Yes, I "+word[3]+". But I don't go around telling everybody I do."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (num_of_words==4)) {                                              
message[0] = "No sorry, I don't "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+".";
message[1] = "Yes, I "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
message[2] = "No, I don't "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+". I thought you knew that."; 
message[3] = "Sure do, lots of people "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
message[4] = "No, I don't "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+". Do you?"; 
message[5] = "Yes, I "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+". But I don't go around telling everybody I do."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (num_of_words==5)) {                                              
message[0] = "No sorry, I don't "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+".";
message[1] = "Yes, I "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
message[2] = "No, I don't "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". I thought you knew that."; 
message[3] = "Sure do, lots of people "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
message[4] = "No, I don't "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". Do you?"; 
message[5] = "Yes, I "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". But I don't go around telling everybody I do."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (num_of_words==6)) {                                              
message[0] = "No sorry, I don't "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+".";
message[1] = "Yes, I "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
message[2] = "No, I don't "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". I thought you knew that."; 
message[3] = "Sure do, lots of people "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
message[4] = "No, I don't "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". Do you?"; 
message[5] = "Yes, I "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". But I don't go around telling everybody I do."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="do") && (word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (num_of_words==7)) {                                              
message[0] = "No sorry, I don't "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+".";
message[1] = "Yes, I "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+"."; 
message[2] = "No, I don't "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+". I thought you knew that."; 
message[3] = "Sure do, lots of people "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+"."; 
message[4] = "No, I don't "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+". Do you?"; 
message[5] = "Yes, I "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" "+word[6]+". But I don't go around telling everybody I do."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="like" && num_of_words==3) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="enjoy" && num_of_words==3) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="prefer" && num_of_words==3)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I like "+word[2]+" as well.";
message[1] = "Well, you're not the only one who likes "+word[2]+"."; 
message[2] = "Well, you're definitely not alone in that. I like "+word[2]+" too."; 
message[3] = "Well, I can agree with you there. I like "+word[2]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Cool, I like "+word[2]+". But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";   
message[5] = "Yes, lots of people like "+word[2]+". What's not to like?"; 
message[6] = "Well, for some reason my interest in "+word[2]+" seems to come and go.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
likes_name=word[2];
if (num==0) 
{ylikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{whoelselevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==5) 
{notlikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="i" && word[2]=="like" && num_of_words==4) || (word[1]=="i" && word[2]=="enjoy" && num_of_words==4) || (word[1]=="i" && word[2]=="prefer" && num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I like "+word[3]+" as well.";
message[1] = "Well, you're not the only one who likes "+word[3]+"."; 
message[2] = "Well, you're definitely not alone in that. I like "+word[3]+" too."; 
message[3] = "Well, I can agree with you there. I like "+word[3]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Cool, I like "+word[3]+". But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";   
message[5] = "Yes, lots of people like "+word[3]+". What's not to like?"; 
message[6] = "Well, for some reason my interest in "+word[3]+" seems to come and go.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
likes_name=word[3];
if (num==0) 
{ylikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{whoelselevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==5) 
{notlikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="like" && num_of_words==4) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="enjoy" && num_of_words==4) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="prefer" && num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" as well.";
message[1] = "Well, you're not the only one who likes "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
message[2] = "Well, you're definitely not alone in that. I like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" too."; 
message[3] = "Well, I can agree with you there. I like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Cool, I like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+". But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";   
message[5] = "Yes, lots of people like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+". What's not to like?"; 
message[6] = "Well, for some reason my interest in "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" seems to come and go.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
likes_name=word[2]+" "+word[3];
if (num==0) 
{ylikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{whoelselevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==5) 
{notlikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="like" && num_of_words==5) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="enjoy" && num_of_words==5) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="prefer" && num_of_words==5)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" as well.";
message[1] = "Well, you're not the only one who likes "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
message[2] = "Well, you're definitely not alone in that. I like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" too."; 
message[3] = "Well, I can agree with you there. I like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Cool, I like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";   
message[5] = "Yes, lots of people like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". What's not to like?"; 
message[6] = "Well, for some reason my interest in "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" seems to come and go.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
likes_name=word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4];
if (num==0) 
{ylikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{whoelselevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==5) 
{notlikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="like" && num_of_words==6) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="enjoy" && num_of_words==6) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="prefer" && num_of_words==6)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" as well.";
message[1] = "Well, you're not the only one who likes "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
message[2] = "Well, you're definitely not alone in that. I like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" too."; 
message[3] = "Well, I can agree with you there. I like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Cool, I like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";   
message[5] = "Yes, lots of people like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". What's not to like?"; 
message[6] = "Well, for some reason my interest in "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" seems to come and go.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
likes_name=word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5];
if (num==0) 
{ylikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==1) 
{whoelselevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==5) 
{notlikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="love") && (num_of_words==3)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I love "+word[2]+" as well.";
message[1] = "Well, you're not the only one who loves "+word[2]+"."; 
message[2] = "Well, you're definitely not alone in that. I love "+word[2]+" too."; 
message[3] = "Well, I can agree with you there. I love "+word[2]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Yes, I love "+word[2]+". But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";   
message[5] = "Yes, lots of people love "+word[2]+". What's not to love?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
likes_name=word[2];
if (num==1) 
{whoelselevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley48.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="love") && (num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I love "+word[3]+" as well.";
message[1] = "Well, you're not the only one who loves "+word[3]+"."; 
message[2] = "Well, you're definitely not alone in that. I love "+word[3]+" too."; 
message[3] = "Well, I can agree with you there. I love "+word[3]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Yes, I love "+word[3]+". But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";   
message[5] = "Yes, lots of people love "+word[3]+". What's not to love?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
likes_name=word[3];
if (num==1) 
{whoelselevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley48.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="love") && (num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I love "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" as well.";
message[1] = "Well, you're not the only one who loves "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
message[2] = "Well, you're definitely not alone in that. I love "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" too."; 
message[3] = "Well, I can agree with you there. I love "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Yes, I love "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+". But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";   
message[5] = "Yes, lots of people love "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+". What's not to love?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
likes_name=word[2]+" "+word[3];
if (num==1) 
{whoelselevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley48.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="love") && (num_of_words==5)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I love "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" as well.";
message[1] = "Well, you're not the only one who loves "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
message[2] = "Well, you're definitely not alone in that. I love "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" too."; 
message[3] = "Well, I can agree with you there. I love "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Yes, I love "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";   
message[5] = "Yes, lots of people love "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". What's not to love?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
likes_name=word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4];
if (num==1) 
{whoelselevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley48.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="love") && (num_of_words==6)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I love "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" as well.";
message[1] = "Well, you're not the only one who loves "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
message[2] = "Well, you're definitely not alone in that. I love "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" too."; 
message[3] = "Well, I can agree with you there. I love "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Yes, I love "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";   
message[5] = "Yes, lots of people love "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". What's not to love?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
likes_name=word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5];
if (num==1) 
{whoelselevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley48.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="hate" && num_of_words==3) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="dislike" && num_of_words==3) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="despise" && num_of_words==3)) { 
message[0] = "Ok, so why do you hate "+word[2]+" so much?";
message[1] = "Well, if you hate "+word[2]+" that's your business. Others might disagree however."; 
message[2] = "Yes, I know what you mean. I don't like "+word[2]+" either."; 
message[3] = "Well, hate is a strong term. But I'm not too fond of "+word[2]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Hahaha, yeah I think everybody hates "+word[2]+"."; 
message[5] = "Yes, a lot of people hate "+word[2]+". There's not much to like is there."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==2) 
{nlikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="i" && word[2]=="hate" && num_of_words==4) || (word[1]=="i" && word[2]=="dislike" && num_of_words==4) || (word[1]=="i" && word[2]=="despise" && num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "Ok, so why do you hate "+word[3]+" so much?";
message[1] = "Well, if you hate "+word[3]+" that's your business. Others might disagree however."; 
message[2] = "Yes, I know what you mean. I don't like "+word[3]+" either."; 
message[3] = "Well, hate is a strong term. But I'm not too fond of "+word[3]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Hahaha, yeah I think everybody hates "+word[3]+"."; 
message[5] = "Yes, a lot of people hate "+word[3]+". There's not much to like is there."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==2) 
{nlikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="hate" && num_of_words==4) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="dislike" && num_of_words==4) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="despise" && num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "Ok, so why do you hate "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" so much?";
message[1] = "Well, if you hate "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" that's your business. Others might disagree however."; 
message[2] = "Yes, I know what you mean. I don't like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" either."; 
message[3] = "Well, hate is a strong term. But I'm not too fond of "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Hahaha, yeah I think everybody hates "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
message[5] = "Yes, a lot of people hate "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+". There's not much to like is there."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==2) 
{nlikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="hate" && num_of_words==5) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="dislike" && num_of_words==5) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="despise" && num_of_words==5)) { 
message[0] = "Ok, so why do you hate "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" so much?";
message[1] = "Well, if you hate "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" that's your business. Others might disagree however."; 
message[2] = "Yes, I know what you mean. I don't like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" either."; 
message[3] = "Well, hate is a strong term. But I'm not too fond of "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Hahaha, yeah I think everybody hates "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
message[5] = "Yes, a lot of people hate "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". There's not much to like is there."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==2) 
{nlikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="hate" && num_of_words==6) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="dislike" && num_of_words==6) || (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="despise" && num_of_words==6)) { 
message[0] = "Ok, so why do you hate "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" so much?";
message[1] = "Well, if you hate "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" that's your business. Others might disagree however."; 
message[2] = "Yes, I know what you mean. I don't like "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" either."; 
message[3] = "Well, hate is a strong term. But I'm not too fond of "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" as well."; 
message[4] = "Hahaha, yeah I think everybody hates "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
message[5] = "Yes, a lot of people hate "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". There's not much to like is there."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==2) 
{nlikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is" || word[1]=="was") && (num_of_words==3)) {  
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
message[0] = "Well, I could tell you who "+word[2]+" really is, but you'd never believe me.";
message[1] = "Well, I once knew a "+word[2]+" who was a "+job[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" back in "+place[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+". Is that who you're looking for?";  
message[2] = "My grandma once said: Who "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" is one of life's biggest mysteries. She was a bit nuts though."; 
message[3] = "Hmmm, don't you know who "+word[2]+" is?"; 
message[4] = "Hey, don't ask me about "+word[2]+", that's top secret....shhhhhhhh."; 
message[5] = "Hmmm, let me think.....Awwww shoot I give up. Who "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+"?"; 
message[6] = "A search of my data base comes up with "+quantity[Math.floor(Math.random()*20)]+" of them. So I can't possibly know which "+word[2]+" you're referring to."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{believelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==2) 
{icon.src=icon24.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
if (num==3) 
{knowlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;} 
if (num==4) 
{secretlevel=0;
icon.src=icon82.src;} 
if (num==1 || num==5 || num==6) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}  
for (i=0; i<Peoples.length; i++) {
People=Peoples[i].split('=');
if (input.search(People[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = People[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;}
}
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="who") && (word[2]=="is" || word[2]=="was") && (num_of_words==4)) {  
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
message[0] = "Well, I could tell you who "+word[3]+" really is, but you'd never believe me.";
message[1] = "Well, I once knew a "+word[3]+" who was a "+job[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" back in "+place[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+". Is that who you're looking for?";  
message[2] = "My grandma once said: Who "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is one of life's biggest mysteries. She was a bit nuts though."; 
message[3] = "Hmmm, don't you know who "+word[3]+" is?"; 
message[4] = "Hey, don't ask me about "+word[3]+", that's top secret....shhhhhhhh."; 
message[5] = "Hmmm, let me think.....Awwww shoot I give up. Who "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"?"; 
message[6] = "A search of my data base comes up with "+quantity[Math.floor(Math.random()*20)]+" of them. So I can't possibly know which "+word[3]+" you're referring to."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{believelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==2) 
{icon.src=icon24.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
if (num==3) 
{knowlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;} 
if (num==4) 
{secretlevel=0;
icon.src=icon82.src;} 
if (num==1 || num==5 || num==6) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}  
for (i=0; i<Peoples.length; i++) {
People=Peoples[i].split('=');
if (input.search(People[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = People[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;}
}
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="who") && (word[2]=="is" || word[2]=="was") && (num_of_words==5)) {  
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
message[0] = "Well, I could tell you who "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" really is, but you'd never believe me.";
message[1] = "Well, I once knew a "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" who was a "+job[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" back in "+place[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+". Is that who you're looking for?";  
message[2] = "My grandma once said: Who "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is one of life's biggest mysteries. She was a bit nuts though."; 
message[3] = "Hmmm, don't you know who "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is?"; 
message[4] = "Hey, don't ask me about "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+", that's top secret....shhhhhhhh."; 
message[5] = "Hmmm, let me think.....Awwww shoot I give up. Who "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"?"; 
message[6] = "A search of my data base comes up with "+quantity[Math.floor(Math.random()*20)]+" of them. So I can't possibly know which "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" you're referring to."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{believelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==2) 
{icon.src=icon24.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
if (num==3) 
{knowlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;} 
if (num==4) 
{secretlevel=0;
icon.src=icon82.src;} 
if (num==1 || num==5 || num==6) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}  
for (i=0; i<Peoples.length; i++) {
People=Peoples[i].split('=');
if (input.search(People[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = People[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;}
}
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is" || word[1]=="was") && (num_of_words==4)) {  
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
message[0] = "Well, I could tell you who "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" really is, but you'd never believe me.";
message[1] = "Well, I once knew a "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" who was a "+job[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" back in "+place[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+". Is that who you're looking for?"; 
message[2] = "My grandma once said: Who "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is one of life's biggest mysteries. She was a bit nuts though."; 
message[3] = "Hmmm, don't you know who "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is?"; 
message[4] = "Hey, don't ask me about "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+", that's top secret....shhhhhhhh."; 
message[5] = "Hmmm, let me think.....Awwww shoot I give up. Who "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"?"; 
message[6] = "A search of my data base comes up with "+quantity[Math.floor(Math.random()*20)]+" of them. So I can't possibly know which "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" you're referring to."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{believelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==2) 
{icon.src=icon24.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
if (num==3) 
{knowlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;} 
if (num==4) 
{secretlevel=0;
icon.src=icon82.src;} 
if (num==1 || num==5 || num==6) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}  
for (i=0; i<Peoples.length; i++) {
People=Peoples[i].split('=');
if (input.search(People[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = People[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;}
}
return true;}


if ((word[0]=="who") && (word[1]=="is" || word[1]=="was") && (num_of_words==5)) {  
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
message[0] = "Well, I could tell you who "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" really is, but you'd never believe me.";
message[1] = "Well, I once knew a "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" who was a "+job[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" back in "+place[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+". Is that who you're looking for?";  
message[2] = "My grandma once said: Who "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is one of life's biggest mysteries. She was a bit nuts though."; 
message[3] = "Hmmm, don't you know who "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is?"; 
message[4] = "Hey, don't ask me about "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+", that's top secret....shhhhhhhh."; 
message[5] = "Hmmm, let me think.....Awwww shoot I give up. Who "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{believelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
if (num==2) 
{icon.src=icon24.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
if (num==3) 
{knowlevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;} 
if (num==4) 
{secretlevel=0;
icon.src=icon82.src;} 
if (num==1 || num==5 || num==6) 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}  
for (i=0; i<Peoples.length; i++) {
People=Peoples[i].split('=');
if (input.search(People[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = People[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;}
}
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (num_of_words==3)) {   
message[0] = "Yes, I suspected that you were "+word[2]+"....now I know.";
message[1] = "Yes, I was thinking you might be "+word[2]+"."; 
message[2] = "Aha, I was guessing you were "+word[2]+"....now I see I guessed right."; 
message[3] = "Hmmmm, does anybody else know you are "+word[2]+"?"; 
message[4] = "Are you really? Cool, I'm "+word[2]+" as well."; 
message[5] = "Yes, I some how figured you were "+word[2]+"."; 
message[6] = "Yes, I've came to the conclusion you are indeed "+word[2]+"."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==1 || num==2 || num==5 || num==6) 
{figuredlevel=0;}
if (num==3) 
{elseknowlevel=0;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="am") && (num_of_words==4)) {   
message[0] = "Yes, I suspected that you were "+word[3]+"....now I know.";
message[1] = "Yes, I was thinking you might be "+word[3]+"."; 
message[2] = "Aha, I was guessing you were "+word[3]+"....now I see I guessed right."; 
message[3] = "Hmmmm, does anybody else know you are "+word[3]+"?"; 
message[4] = "Are you really? Cool, I'm "+word[3]+" as well."; 
message[5] = "Yes, I some how figured you were "+word[3]+"."; 
message[6] = "Yes, I've came to the conclusion you are indeed "+word[3]+"."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==1 || num==2 || num==5 || num==6) 
{figuredlevel=0;}
if (num==3) 
{elseknowlevel=0;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (num_of_words==4)) {   
message[0] = "Yes, I suspected that you were "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"....now I know.";
message[1] = "Yes, I was thinking you might be "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
message[2] = "Aha, I was guessing you were "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"....now I see I guessed right."; 
message[3] = "Hmmmm, does anybody else know you are "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"?"; 
message[4] = "Are you really? Cool, I'm "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" as well."; 
message[5] = "Yes, I somehow figured you were "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
message[6] = "Yes, I've came to the conclusion you are indeed "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==1 || num==2 || num==5 || num==6) 
{figuredlevel=0;}
if (num==3) 
{elseknowlevel=0;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (num_of_words==5)) {   
message[0] = "Yes, I suspected that you were "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"....now I know.";
message[1] = "Yes, I was thinking you might be "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
message[2] = "Aha, I was guessing you were "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"....now I see I guessed right."; 
message[3] = "Hmmmm, does anybody else know you are "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"?"; 
message[4] = "Are you really? Cool, I'm "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" as well."; 
message[5] = "Yes, I somehow figured you were "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
message[6] = "Yes, I've came to the conclusion you are indeed "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==1 || num==2 || num==5 || num==6) 
{figuredlevel=0;}
if (num==3) 
{elseknowlevel=0;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="am") && (num_of_words==6)) {   
message[0] = "Yes, I suspected that you were "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"....now I know.";
message[1] = "Yes, I was thinking you might be "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
message[2] = "Aha, I was guessing you were "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"....now I see I guessed right."; 
message[3] = "Hmmmm, does anybody else know you are "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"?"; 
message[4] = "Are you really? Cool, I'm "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" as well."; 
message[5] = "Yes, I somehow figured you were "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
message[6] = "Yes, I've came to the conclusion you are indeed "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==1 || num==2 || num==5 || num==6) 
{figuredlevel=0;}
if (num==3) 
{elseknowlevel=0;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley5.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="have") && (num_of_words==3)) { 
message[0] = "Cool, I wish at times I had "+word[2]+".";
message[1] = "Really, a friend of mine has "+word[2]+"."; 
message[2] = "Well, I'm glad I don't have "+word[2]+"."; 
message[3] = "You have? That's nice."; 
message[4] = "Wow, you really have "+word[2]+". Me too."; 
message[5] = "Yep, it seems everybody has "+word[2]+" nowadays."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{wishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;}
if (num==1) 
{myfriendlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;}
if (num==4) smiley.src=smiley37.src;
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="have") && (num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "Cool, I wish at times I had "+word[3]+".";
message[1] = "Really, a friend of mine has "+word[3]+"."; 
message[2] = "Well, I'm glad I don't have "+word[3]+"."; 
message[3] = "You have? That's nice."; 
message[4] = "Wow, you really have "+word[3]+". Me too."; 
message[5] = "Yep, it seems everybody has "+word[3]+" nowadays."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{wishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;}
if (num==1) 
{myfriendlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;}
if (num==4) smiley.src=smiley37.src;
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="have") && (num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "Cool, I wish at times I had "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+".";
message[1] = "Really, a friend of mine has "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
message[2] = "Well, I'm glad I don't have "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
message[3] = "You have? That's nice."; 
message[4] = "Wow, you really have "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+". Me too."; 
message[5] = "Yep, it seems everybody has "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" nowadays."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{wishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;}
if (num==1) 
{myfriendlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;}
if (num==4) smiley.src=smiley37.src;
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="have") && (num_of_words==5)) { 
message[0] = "Cool, I wish at times I had "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+".";
message[1] = "Really, a friend of mine has "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
message[2] = "Well, I'm glad I don't have "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
message[3] = "You have? That's nice."; 
message[4] = "Wow, you really have "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". Me too."; 
message[5] = "Yep, it seems everybody has "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" nowadays."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{wishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;}
if (num==1) 
{myfriendlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;}
if (num==4) smiley.src=smiley37.src;
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="have") && (num_of_words==6)) { 
message[0] = "Cool, I wish at times I had "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+".";
message[1] = "Really, a friend of mine has "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
message[2] = "Well, I'm glad I don't have "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
message[3] = "You have? That's nice."; 
message[4] = "Wow, you really have "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". Me too."; 
message[5] = "Yep, it seems everybody has "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" nowadays."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{wishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;}
if (num==1) 
{myfriendlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley10.src;}
if (num==4) smiley.src=smiley37.src;
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (word[1]=="going") && (num_of_words==3)) { 
message[0] = "Strange, it seems everybody I talked to seems to be going "+word[2]+".";
message[1] = "ok, if that's really what you want to do."; 
message[2] = "Ok, but why are you going "+word[2]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[1]=="i'm" || word[1]=="im") && (word[2]=="going") && (num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "Strange, it seems everybody I talked to seems to be going "+word[3]+".";
message[1] = "ok, if that's really what you want to do."; 
message[2] = "Ok, but why are you going "+word[3]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (word[1]=="going") && (num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "Strange, it seems everybody I talked to seems to be going "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+".";
message[1] = "ok, if that's really what you want to do."; 
message[2] = "Ok, but why are you going "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (word[1]=="going") && (num_of_words==5)) { 
message[0] = "Strange, it seems everybody I talked to seems to be going "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+".";
message[1] = "ok, if that's really what you want to do."; 
message[2] = "Ok, but why are you going "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (word[1]=="going") && (num_of_words==6)) { 
message[0] = "Strange, it seems everybody I talked to seems to be going "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+".";
message[1] = "ok, if that's really what you want to do."; 
message[2] = "Ok, but why are you going "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="she") && (word[1]=="was") && (num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think she was "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="she") && (word[2]=="was") && (num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think she was "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="she") && (word[1]=="was") && (num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think she was "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="she") && (word[1]=="was") && (num_of_words==5))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think she was "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="she") && (word[1]=="was") && (num_of_words==6))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think she was "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="he") && (word[1]=="was") && (num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think he was "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="he") && (word[2]=="was") && (num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think he was "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="he") && (word[1]=="was") && (num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think he was "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="he") && (word[1]=="was") && (num_of_words==5))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think he was "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="he") && (word[1]=="was") && (num_of_words==6))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think he was "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley34.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="she") && (word[1]=="is") && (num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think she is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="she") && (word[2]=="is") && (num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think she is "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="she") && (word[1]=="is") && (num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think she is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="she") && (word[1]=="is") && (num_of_words==5))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think she is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="she") && (word[1]=="is") && (num_of_words==6))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think she is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src; 
return true;}
 
if ((word[0]=="he") && (word[1]=="is") && (num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think he is "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="he") && (word[2]=="is") && (num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think he is "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="he") && (word[1]=="is") && (num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think he is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="he") && (word[1]=="is") && (num_of_words==5))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think he is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="he") && (word[1]=="is") && (num_of_words==6))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think he is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="the" || word[1]=="a") && (num_of_words==3)) { 
message[0] = "Sorry, I have no idea what "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" is. Perhaps you can look it up on the Internet.";
message[1] = "Sorry, I don't know what "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" is. Maybe you should try a search engine."; 
message[2] = "Someone asked me yesterday what "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" is, but I haven't had the chance to look it up just yet."; 
message[3] = "If I had a dollar for everytime someone ask me what is "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+", I would be a rich robot right now."; 
message[4] = "I have no idea. I'm only a Robot programmed by inept humans."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==3) icon.src=icon12.src;
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[1]=="what's") && (word[2]=="the" || word[2]=="a") && (num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "Sorry, I have no idea what "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is. Perhaps you can look it up on the Internet.";
message[1] = "Sorry, I don't know what "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is. Maybe you should try a search engine."; 
message[2] = "Someone asked me yesterday what "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is, but I haven't had the chance to look it up just yet."; 
message[3] = "If I had a dollar for everytime someone ask me what is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+", I would be a rich robot right now."; 
message[4] = "I have no idea. I'm only a Robot programmed by inept humans."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==3) icon.src=icon12.src;
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="the" || word[1]=="a") && (num_of_words==4)) {
message[0] = "Sorry, I have no idea what "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is. Perhaps you can look it up on the Internet.";
message[1] = "Sorry, I don't know what "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is. Maybe you should try a search engine."; 
message[2] = "Someone asked me yesterday what "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" is, but I haven't had the chance to look it up just yet."; 
message[3] = "If I had a dollar for everytime someone ask me what is "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+", I would be a rich robot right now."; 
message[4] = "I have no idea. I'm only a Robot programmed by inept humans."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==3) icon.src=icon12.src;
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="the" || word[1]=="a") && (num_of_words==5)) {
message[0] = "Sorry, I have no idea what "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is. Perhaps you can look it up on the Internet.";
message[1] = "Sorry, I don't know what "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is. Maybe you should try a search engine."; 
message[2] = "Someone asked me yesteday what "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is, but I haven't had the chance to look it up just yet."; 
message[3] = "If I had a dollar for everytime someone ask me what is "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+", I would be a rich robot right now."; 
message[4] = "I have no idea. I'm only a Robot programmed by inept humans."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==3) icon.src=icon12.src;
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="what's") && (word[1]=="the" || word[1]=="a") && (num_of_words==6)) {
message[0] = "Sorry, I have no idea what "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" is. Perhaps you can look it up on the Internet.";
message[1] = "Sorry, I don't know what "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" is. Maybe you should try a search engine."; 
message[2] = "Someone asked me yesterday what "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" is, but I haven't had the chance to look it up just yet."; 
message[3] = "If I had a dollar for everytime someone ask me what is "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+", I would be a rich robot right now."; 
message[4] = "I have no idea. I'm only a Robot programmed by inept humans."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==3) icon.src=icon12.src;
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley31.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="live") && (word[2]=="in") && (input.search(/(alabama|alaska|arizona|arkansas|california|colorado|connecticut|delaware|florida|georgia|hawaii|idaho|illinois|indiana|iowa|kansas|kentucky|louisiana|maine|maryland|massachusetts|michigan|minnesota|mississippi|missouri|montana|nebraska|nevada|ohio|oklahoma|oregon|pennsylvania|tennessee|texas|utah|vermont|virginia|washington|wisconsin|wyoming)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==4)) {          
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value="Cool, I think "+word[3]+" is one of the finer states in the USA."; 
place_name=word[3];
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="live") && (word[2]=="in") && (input.search(/(new hampshire|new jersey|new mexico|new york|north carolina|north dakota|rhode island|south carolina|south dakota|west virginia)/)!=-1) && (num_of_words==5)) {          
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length)
document.result.result.value="Cool, I think "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" is one of the finer states in the USA."; 
place_name=word[3]+" "+word[4];
icon.src=icon30.src;  
smiley.src=smiley47.src;
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (word[1]=="from") && (num_of_words==4)) {      
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
message[0] = "So is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" a nice place to live?"; 
message[1] = "So do you like living in "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
place_name=word[2]+" "+word[3];
livelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (word[1]=="from") && (num_of_words==3)) {      
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
message[0] = "So is "+word[2]+" a nice place to live?"; 
message[1] = "So do you like living in "+word[2]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
place_name=word[2];
livelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="i'm" || word[1]=="im") && (word[2]=="from") && (num_of_words==4)) {      
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
message[0] = "So is "+word[3]+" a nice place to live?"; 
message[1] = "So do you like living in "+word[3]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
place_name=word[3];
livelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="i'm" || word[1]=="im") && (word[2]=="from") && (num_of_words==5)) {      
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length)
message[0] = "So is "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" a nice place to live?"; 
message[1] = "So do you like living in "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
place_name=word[3]+" "+word[4];
livelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="live") && (word[2]=="in") && (num_of_words==5)) {      
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length)
message[0] = "So is "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" a nice place to live?"; 
message[1] = "So do you like living in "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
place_name=word[3]+" "+word[4];
livelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="i") && (word[1]=="live") && (word[2]=="in") && (num_of_words==4)) {      
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
message[0] = "So is "+word[3]+" a nice place to live?"; 
message[1] = "So do you like living in "+word[3]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
place_name=word[3];
livelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="live") && (word[3]=="in") && (num_of_words==5)) {      
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length)
message[0] = "So is "+word[4]+" a nice place to live?"; 
message[1] = "So do you like living in "+word[4]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
place_name=word[4];
livelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[1]=="i") && (word[2]=="live") && (word[3]=="in") && (num_of_words==6)) {      
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length) 
word[5] = word[5].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[5].substr(1,word[5].length) 
message[0] = "So is "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" a nice place to live?"; 
message[1] = "So do you like living in "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
place_name=word[4]+" "+word[5];
livelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="are") && (num_of_words==3)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, you are correct. I sure am "+word[2]+".";
message[1] = "So you think I am "+word[2]+". What makes you say that?"; 
message[2] = "Some may think so, others may not. Are you "+word[2]+"?"; 
message[3] = "Does it REALLY matter if I'm "+word[2]+" or not?"; 
message[4] = "Haha, I thought everybody already knew I was "+word[2]+"."; 
message[5] = "Maybe I am "+word[2]+". But that's just your opinion."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];
if (num==3) 
{matterlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="you" || word[1]=="u") && (word[2]=="are") && (num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, you are correct. I sure am "+word[3]+".";
message[1] = "So you think I am "+word[3]+". What makes you say that?"; 
message[2] = "Some may think so, others may not. Are you "+word[3]+"?"; 
message[3] = "Does it REALLY matter if I'm "+word[3]+" or not?"; 
message[4] = "Haha, I thought everybody already knew I was "+word[3]+"."; 
message[5] = "Maybe I am "+word[3]+". But that's just your opinion."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];
if (num==3) 
{matterlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="are") && (num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, you are correct. I sure am "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+".";
message[1] = "So you think I am "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+". What makes you say that?"; 
message[2] = "Some may think so, others may not. Are you "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"?"; 
message[3] = "Does it REALLY matter if I'm "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" or not?"; 
message[4] = "Haha, I thought everybody already knew I was "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
message[5] = "Maybe I am "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+". But that's just your opinion."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];
if (num==3) 
{matterlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="are") && (num_of_words==5)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, you are correct. I sure am "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+".";
message[1] = "So you think I am "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". What makes you say that?"; 
message[2] = "Some may think so, others may not. Are you "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"?"; 
message[3] = "Does it REALLY matter if I'm "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" or not?"; 
message[4] = "Haha, I thought everybody already knew I was "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
message[5] = "Maybe I am "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". But that's just your opinion."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];
if (num==3) 
{matterlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="you") && (word[1]=="are") && (num_of_words==6)) { 
message[0] = "Yes, you are correct. I sure am "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+".";
message[1] = "So you think I am "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". What makes you say that?"; 
message[2] = "Some may think so, others may not. Are you "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"?"; 
message[3] = "Does it REALLY matter if I'm "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" or not?"; 
message[4] = "Haha, I thought everybody already knew I was "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
message[5] = "Maybe I am "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". But that's just your opinion."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];
if (num==3) 
{matterlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="it") && (num_of_words==3)) { 
message[0] = "Perhaps it is "+word[2]+". We'll have to see.";
message[1] = "I happen to think it is "+word[2]+"."; 
message[2] = "Everybody I talked to seems to think it is "+word[2]+"."; 
message[3] = "I've been told it is, but I'm not so sure."; 
message[4] = "To be honest I'm not sure if it is "+word[2]+" or not."; 
message[5] = "No, I don't think it is "+word[2]+"."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[1]=="is") && (word[2]=="it") && (num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "Perhaps it is "+word[3]+". We'll have to see.";
message[1] = "I happen to think it is "+word[3]+"."; 
message[2] = "Everybody I talked to seems to think it is "+word[3]+"."; 
message[3] = "I've been told it is, but I'm not so sure."; 
message[4] = "To be honest I'm not sure if it is "+word[3]+" or not."; 
message[5] = "No, I don't think it is "+word[3]+"."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="it") && (num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "Perhaps it is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+". We'll have to see.";
message[1] = "I happen to think it is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
message[2] = "Everybody I talked to seems to think it is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
message[3] = "I've been told it is, but I'm not so sure."; 
message[4] = "To be honest I'm not sure if it is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" or not."; 
message[5] = "No, I don't think it is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="it") && (num_of_words==5)) { 
message[0] = "Perhaps it is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". We'll have to see.";
message[1] = "I happen to think it is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
message[2] = "Everybody I talked to seems to think it is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
message[3] = "I've been told it is, but I'm not so sure."; 
message[4] = "To be honest I'm not sure if it is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" or not."; 
message[5] = "No, I don't think it is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="is") && (word[1]=="it") && (num_of_words==6)) { 
message[0] = "Perhaps it is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+". We'll have to see.";
message[1] = "I happen to think it is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
message[2] = "Everybody I talked to seems to think it is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
message[3] = "I've been told it is, but I'm not so sure."; 
message[4] = "To be honest I'm not sure if it is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+" or not."; 
message[5] = "No, I don't think it is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" "+word[5]+"."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (num_of_words==2)) { 
message[0] = "I've always suspected that you were "+word[1]+"....now I know that for sure.";
message[1] = "I was thinking you might be "+word[1]+"....now I know."; 
message[2] = "I was guessing you were "+word[1]+"....now I see I guessed right."; 
message[3] = "Are you really? I didn't realize you were "+word[1]+"."; 
message[4] = "Does anybody else know you are "+word[1]+"?"; 
message[5] = "Why are you telling me you are "+word[1]+". Everybody knows that."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==2 || num==5) 
{figuredlevel=0;}
if (num==4) 
{elseknowlevel=0;} 
if (num==5) 
{everybodylevel=0;
knows_name=word[1];
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[1]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (num_of_words==3)) { 
message[0] = "I've always suspected that you were "+word[2]+"....now I know that for sure.";
message[1] = "I was thinking you might be "+word[2]+"....now I know."; 
message[2] = "I was guessing you were "+word[2]+"....now I see I guessed right."; 
message[3] = "Are you really? I didn't realize you were "+word[2]+"."; 
message[4] = "Does anybody else know you are "+word[2]+"?"; 
message[5] = "Why are you telling me you are "+word[2]+". Everybody knows that."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==2 || num==5) 
{figuredlevel=0;}
if (num==4) 
{elseknowlevel=0;}
if (num==5) 
{everybodylevel=0;
knows_name=word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (num_of_words==3)) { 
message[0] = "I've always suspected that you were "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+"....now I know that for sure.";
message[1] = "I was thinking you might be "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+"....now I know."; 
message[2] = "I was guessing you were "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+"....now I see I guessed right."; 
message[3] = "Are you really? I didn't realize you were "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+"."; 
message[4] = "Does anybody else know you are "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+"?"; 
message[5] = "Why are you telling me you are "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+". Everybody knows that."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==2 || num==5) 
{figuredlevel=0;}
if (num==4) 
{elseknowlevel=0;} 
if (num==5) 
{everybodylevel=0;
knows_name=word[1]+" "+word[2];
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (num_of_words==4)) { 
message[0] = "I've always suspected that you were "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"....now I know that for sure.";
message[1] = "I was thinking you might be "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"....now I know."; 
message[2] = "I was guessing you were "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"....now I see I guessed right."; 
message[3] = "Are you really? I didn't realize you were "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
message[4] = "Does anybody else know you are "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"?"; 
message[5] = "Why are you telling me you are "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+". Everybody knows that."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==2 || num==5) 
{figuredlevel=0;}
if (num==4) 
{elseknowlevel=0;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (num_of_words==5)) { 
message[0] = "I've always suspected that you were "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"....now I know that for sure.";
message[1] = "I was thinking you might be "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"....now I know."; 
message[2] = "I was guessing you were "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"....now I see I guessed right."; 
message[3] = "Are you really? I didn't realize you were "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
message[4] = "Does anybody else know you are "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"?"; 
message[5] = "Why are you telling me you are "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+". Everybody knows that."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==2 || num==5) 
{figuredlevel=0;}
if (num==4) 
{elseknowlevel=0;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src; 
return true;} 

if ((word[0]=="another") && (num_of_words==2))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, another "+word[1]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[1]=="another") && (num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, another "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="another") && (num_of_words==3))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, another "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="another") && (num_of_words==4))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, another "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="another") && (num_of_words==5))
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, another "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("are you")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Everybody knows I am. I don't brag about it though.";
message[1] = "What? Are you kidding. Of course I'm not."; 
message[2] = "No, I'm not by any stretch of the imagination."; 
message[3] = "Yes, I am. How did you know?"; 
message[4] = "Some may say I am but I don't happen to be one of them."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num];
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i like")!= -1 || input.search("i prefer")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I quite fond of that as well.";
message[1] = "Well, you're not the only one who likes that."; 
message[2] = "Well, you're definitely not alone. I like that too."; 
message[3] = "Well, I can agree with you there. I like that as well."; 
message[4] = "Cool, I like that as well. But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";   
message[5] = "Yes, lots of people like that. What's not to like?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==5) 
{notlikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
ylikelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("do you")!= -1) {
message[0] = "No sorry, I don't.";
message[1] = "Sorry, a search of my data base comes up empty."; 
message[2] = "Presently I don't."; 
message[3] = "No, I don't but I will sure ask Wendell about it."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==3) 
{wendelllevel=0;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("i love")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I love that as well.";
message[1] = "Well, you're not the only one who loves that."; 
message[2] = "Well, you're definitely not alone. I luv that too."; 
message[3] = "Well, I can agree with you there. I love that as well."; 
message[4] = "Cool, I love that as well. But then again "+like[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";     
message[5] = "Yes, a lot of people love that. What's not to love?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley48.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("i hate")!= -1 || input.search("i dislike")!= -1 || input.search("i despise")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Ok, so why do you hate that so much?";
message[1] = "Well, if you hate that that's your business. Others might disagree however."; 
message[2] = "Yes, I know what you mean. I don't like that either."; 
message[3] = "Well, hate is a strong term. But I'm not too fond of that as well."; 
message[4] = "Hahaha, yeah I think everybody hates that."; 
message[5] = "Yes, a lot of people hate that. There isn't much to like."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==2 || num==3 || num==4) 
{nlikelevel=0;}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("who is")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Well, I could tell you who that really is, but you'd never believe me.";
message[1] = "My grandma once said: Questions like those are one of life's biggest mysteries. She was a bit nuts though."; 
message[2] = "Maybe I should ask you who that is. Because I sure don't know."; 
message[3] = "Hey, don't ask me about that, that's top secret...shhhhhhhh."; 
message[4] = "Hmmm, let me think.....Awwww shoot I give up. Who is it?"; 
message[5] = "Sorry, I don't know who. But I get the feeling you probably do."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{believelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
else if (num==1) icon.src=icon24.src;
else if (num==3) 
{secretlevel=0;
icon.src=icon82.src;} 
else icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley6.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("i am")!= -1 || input.search("i'm")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Yes, I suspected that you were....Now I know for sure.";
message[1] = "Yes, I believe you are."; 
message[2] = "Haha, I was guessing you were....now I see I guessed right."; 
message[3] = "Hmmmm, does anybody else know you are?"; 
message[4] = "Are you really? I didn't realize you were."; 
message[5] = "Yes, I some how figured you were."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0 || num==5) 
{figuredlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;} 
if (num==2) 
{guessrightlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;} 
if (num==3) 
{elseknowlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley19.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("i have")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Cool, I wish at times I did.";
message[1] = "Really, a friend of mine has one also."; 
message[2] = "Well, I'm glad I don't have one."; 
message[3] = "You have? That's nice."; 
message[4] = "Wow, you really have. Me too."; 
message[5] = "Yep, it seems everybody has one nowadays."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{wishlevel=0;}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("i'm going")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "ok, if that's really what you want to do."; 
message[1] = "Ok, thanks for sharing that but why?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("she was")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think she was."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("he was")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think he was."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley9.src; 
return true;}
  
if ((word[0]=="she's" && num_of_words==2) || (input.search("she is")!= -1) || (input.search("she's a")!= -1) || (input.search("she's really")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I think she is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley25.src; 
return true;}

if ((word[0]=="he's" && num_of_words==2) || (input.search(/\bhe\b/)!= -1 && input.search(/\bis\b/)!= -1) || (input.search("he's a")!= -1) || (input.search("he's really")!= -1))  
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, I believe he is."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley26.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("(what are|what does|what is|what's)")!= -1 || input.search("the meaning of")!= -1 || input.search("the definition of")!= -1 || input.search("define")!= -1 || input.search("what about")!= -1 || input.search("tell me what")!= -1 || input.search("know what")!= -1) { 
if(!flagdunno){
dunnonum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
flagdunno=true;}
message[0] = "I dunno. I'm a Robot not the Encyclopedia Britannica."; 
message[1] = "Sorry, I don't know. Perhaps you can look it up on the Internet."; 
message[2] = "That's a good question but unfortunately I don't have a good answer."; 
message[3] = "I don't know. This Artificial Intelligence they're calling me is all hype."; 
message[4] = "I don't know. I'm a Robot not a game show contestant."; 
message[5] = "I don't know. I'm a Robot with Alzheimer's. I have issues!"; 
message[6] = "Don't you know?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[dunnonum];  
for (i=0; i<Dictionarys.length; i++) {
Dictionary=Dictionarys[i].split('=');
if (input.search(Dictionary[0]) != -1) {
document.result.result.value = Dictionary[1];} 
}
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
if (dunnonum==6) 
{knowlevel=0;
smiley.src=smiley8.src; 
icon.src=icon62.src;} 
dunnonum++;
if (dunnonum>6){dunnonum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("you are")!= -1 || input.search("you're")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "Yes, you are correct. I sure am.";
message[1] = "So you think I am. What makes you say that?"; 
message[2] = "no I'm not."; 
message[3] = "Does it REALLY matter if I am or not?"; 
message[4] = "Haha, I thought everybody already knew I was."; 
message[5] = "Maybe I am. But that's debatable."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
if ((num==3) && (matter_q3_asked=="false"))
{ 
  matter_q3_asked="true";
  document.result.result.value = message[num];
  document.respond.response.value="flagged";
  answer_type="matter";
  return true;
}
while (num==3)
{
  num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]
}
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search("another")!= -1)   
{document.result.result.value = "Yes, another...";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley52.src; 
return true;} 
}

if ((input.search("so you do")!= -1) && (num_of_words==3))  
{document.result.result.value = "Ummmmm....maybe!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}

if ((input.search("how is sex")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (input.search("how's sex")!= -1 && num_of_words==2))   
{document.result.result.value = "I've had some pretty good sex recently. Some not so good."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}

if (input.search("so you lie")!= -1 && num_of_words==3)  
{document.result.result.value = "Everybody lies."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bhow\b/)!=-1) {
message[0] = "I really don't know. What do you think?";
message[1] = "You tell me how. I don't know!";
message[2] = "Sorry, totally clueless on that one";
message[3] = "I have no idea.";
message[4] = "Only God knows how and I'm sure not him.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
return true;} 

if (input.search("so will you")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) {  
message[0] = "I'll need more time to consider your request."; 
message[1] = "I'll have to consult Wendell first and get back with you."; 
message[2] = "Well, I will certainly consider it."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*3)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==1)
{wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;}
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bso\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsoo\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsooo\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bsoooo\b/)!= -1) { 
if (!flagso) {
sonum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagso=true;}
message[0] = "So?...please continue! I'm listening!"; 
message[1] = "So tell me more. It takes two to have a conversation you know."; 
message[2] = "So?...tell me more about it."; 
message[3] = "So tell me more I'm interested."; 
document.result.result.value = message[sonum]; 
if (sonum==2)
{aboutitlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
if (sonum==3)
{interestedlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src; 
sonum++;
if (sonum>3){sonum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("well")!= -1) { 
if (!flagwell) {
wellnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
flagwell=true;}
message[0] = "Well...is there more?"; 
message[1] = "Well...ok then."; 
message[2] = "Well, now that's a deep subject."; 
message[3] = "well okay...please continue on."; 
{document.result.result.value = message[wellnum]; 
if (wellnum==0) 
{morelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;} 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
wellnum++;
if (wellnum>3){wellnum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("cool")!= -1 || input.search("kool")!= -1) {
if (!flagcool) {
coolnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flagcool=true;}
message[0] = "yep, really cool."; 
message[1] = "that's cool."; 
message[2] = "yeah, really kool."; 
message[3] = "Kewl."; 
message[4] = "way cool."; 
message[5] = "really cool."; 
{document.result.result.value = message[coolnum]; 
icon.src=icon95.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;}
coolnum++;
if (coolnum>5){coolnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search(/\byes\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\byea\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\byup\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\byep\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bya\b/)!= -1 || input.search("yeah")!= -1) { 
if ((fav_color) && (fav_color_asked=="false"))
{
fav_color_asked="true";
document.result.result.value = "Ok then.....say you mentioned earlier your favorite color was "+fav_color+". Are you wearing anything "+fav_color+" today?";  
clotheslevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;
}
message[0] = "ok, yes it is."; 
message[1] = "yes, I suppose so."; 
message[2] = "ok, I understand."; 
message[3] = "ok, I guess so."; 
message[4] = "yeah, I reckon so. Say what color are your eyes?"; 
message[5] = "yes, I thought as much."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]

if ((num==4) && (yes_q4_asked=="false"))
{ 
  yes_q4_asked="true";
  document.result.result.value = message[num];
  document.respond.response.value="flagged";
  answer_type="yes";
  smiley.src=smiley50.src;
  icon.src=icon99.src; 
  return true;
}
while (num==4)
{
  num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
}
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{icon.src=icon84.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
if (num==1 || num==2 || num==3 || num==4 || num==5) 
{icon.src=icon99.src; 
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
iconleft.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || input.search("nope")!= -1 || input.search(/\bnah\b/)!= -1) { 
message[0] = "alrighty, no it is!"; 
message[1] = "No, I suppose not. Say weren't you once a "+job[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+" back in "+place[Math.floor(Math.random()*10)]+"?"; 
message[2] = "yeah, I reckon not."; 
message[3] = "ok, I guess not."; 
message[4] = "okay, I understand."; 
message[5] = "Why no?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]

if ((num==1) && (no_q1_asked=="false"))
{ 
  no_q1_asked="true";
  document.result.result.value = message[num];
  joblevel=0;
  icon.src=icon99.src;
  smiley.src=smiley8.src;
  return true;
}
while (num==1)
{
  num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
}
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{icon.src=icon83.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
if (num==1 || num==2 || num==3 || num==4 || num==5) 
{icon.src=icon99.src; 
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
iconleft.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
return true;}

if (input.search(/\boh\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bohh\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bohhh\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bohhhh\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bohhhhh\b/)!= -1 || input.search("(oohh|ooohh|oooohh)")!= -1 || input.search(/\bomg\b/)!= -1 || input.search("o my god")!= -1 || input.search("oh yeah")!= -1) { 
message[0] = "ohhhhh kay!"; 
message[1] = "oh yeah."; 
message[2] = "oh yes!"; 
message[3] = "oh indeed."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
iconleft.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley37.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\bok\b/)!= -1 || input.search(/\bkk\b/)!= -1 || input.search("okey dokey")!= -1 || input.search("okie dokie")!= -1 || input.search("okay")!= -1 || input.search("aight")!= -1) {    
if ((zodiac_sign) && (zodiac_sign_asked=="false")) 
{
zodiac_sign_asked="true";
if (zodiac_sign=="Aquarius") 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok then....so your zodiac sign is Aquarius. Did you know Abraham Lincoln was Aquarius?";
horoscopelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}
else if (zodiac_sign=="Aries") 
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, so your zodiac sign is Aries. Did you know Houdini was Aries?";
horoscopelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}
else if (zodiac_sign=="Cancer") 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, so your zodiac sign is Cancer. Did you know Tom Hanks and Alan Turing are Cancer?";
horoscopelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;
return true;}
else if (zodiac_sign=="Capricorn") 
{document.result.result.value = "Okay then, so your zodiac sign is Capricorn. Did you know Muhammad Ali and Issac Asimov are Capricorn?";
horoscopelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;
return true;}
else if (zodiac_sign=="Gemini") 
{document.result.result.value = "alrighty....so your zodiac sign is Gemini. Did you know John F. Kennedy and Paul McCartney are Gemini?";
horoscopelevel=0;
icon.src=icon221.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}
else if (zodiac_sign=="Leo") 
{document.result.result.value = "alright then, so your zodiac sign is Leo. Did you know Napoleon was Leo?";
horoscopelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}
else if (zodiac_sign=="Libra") 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok then, so your zodiac sign is Libra. Did you know John Lennon and Noah Webster were Libra?";
horoscopelevel=0;
icon.src=icon172.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;
return true;}
else if (zodiac_sign=="Pisces") 
{document.result.result.value = "Okay then....so your zodiac sign is Pisces. Did you know Albert Einstein was Pisces?";
horoscopelevel=0;
icon.src=icon69.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;
return true;}
else if (zodiac_sign=="Sagittarius") 
{document.result.result.value = "okay, so your zodiac sign is Sagittarius. Did you know Walt Disney was Sagittarius?";
horoscopelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;
return true;}
else if (zodiac_sign=="Scorpio") 
{document.result.result.value = "alrighty, so your zodiac sign is Scorpio. Did you know Bill Gates is Scorpio?";
horoscopelevel=0;
icon.src=icon65.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;
return true;}
else if (zodiac_sign=="Taurus") 
{document.result.result.value = "okay, so your zodiac sign is Taurus. Did you know Shakespeare was Taurus?";
horoscopelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley6.src;
return true;}
else if (zodiac_sign=="Virgo") 
{document.result.result.value = "ok then....so your zodiac sign is Virgo. Did you know Sean Connery is Virgo?";
horoscopelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;
return true;}
}
else 
{
message[0] = "okay, I see!"; 
message[1] = "ok that's good."; 
message[2] = "ok, I suppose so."; 
message[3] = "okie dokie....I reckon so."; 
message[4] = "okay, I understand."; 
message[5] = "ok that's cool."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
iconleft.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;
return true;}
}

if (input.search("hmm")!= -1) {
if (!flaghmm) {
hmmnum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
flaghmm=true;}
message[0] = "Ok, I will be quiet. I see you are trying to think."; 
message[1] = "having trouble remembering the words???"; 
message[2] = "Hmmmm, I think your brain has just stalled..."; 
message[3] = "Ok, I will hum along...hmmmmmmmmmmm..."; 
message[4] = "Hmmmm, don't think too hard...you might hurt yourself."; 
message[5] = "Hmmmm, having trouble getting that brain of yours out of first gear?"; 
document.result.result.value = message[hmmnum]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src; 
hmmnum++;
if (hmmnum>5){hmmnum=0}
return true;}

if (input.search("you to")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) 
{document.result.result.value = "Ok, will do."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src; 
return true;}

if ((input.search(/\byou\b/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1) || (input.search("and you")!= -1 && num_of_words==2)) { 
message[0] = "same here."; 
message[1] = "yeah, pretty much the same here."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;
return true;}

if (input.search(/\<\/3/)!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "How does one mend a broken heart?"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley48.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/\<3/)!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value = "I like my heart better than yours."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley48.src; 
return true;}

if (input.search(/:\(/)!=-1 || input.search(/:-\(/)!= -1 || input.search(/:\'\(/)!=-1 || input.search(/;\(/)!=-1 || input.search(/=\(/)!= -1 || input.search(/: ?\(/)!=-1) { 
message[0] = "Awwwww, why the sad face?"; 
message[1] = "Uh-oh somebody's got a frowny face!"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
sadaboutlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley3.src;
return true;}
                                                                                                             
if (input.search(/;\[/)!=-1 || input.search(":\#")!= -1 || input.search(":\{")!= -1 || input.search(";]")!= -1 || input.search(":\}")!= -1 || input.search(";p")!= -1 || input.search(":v")!= -1 || input.search(":>")!= -1 || input.search(/:\//)!= -1 || input.search(/:\//)!= -1 || input.search(":@")!= -1 || input.search(":-")!= -1 || input.search("=d")!= -1 || input.search("=p")!= -1 || input.search(/=\)/)!= -1 || input.search("=/")!= -1 || input.search(/:\]/)!= -1 || input.search(/=\]/)!= -1 || input.search(/=\}/)!= -1 || input.search(/@-\)/)!= -1 || input.search(/8-\)/)!= -1 || input.search(/8\)/)!= -1 || input.search(":o")!= -1 || input.search(":0")!= -1 || input.search(":d")!= -1 || input.search(";d")!= -1 || input.search(":p")!= -1 || input.search(";-")!= -1 || input.search(/:\)/)!=-1 || input.search(/: ?\)/)!=-1 || input.search(/;\)/)!=-1 || input.search(/; ?\)/)!=-1 || input.search(/\bxd\b/)!=-1 || input.indexOf("o_o")!= -1 || input.indexOf("0_0")!= -1 || input.indexOf("^-^")!= -1 || input.indexOf("<_<")!= -1 || input.indexOf(">_>")!= -1 || input.indexOf("@_@")!= -1 || input.indexOf("^_^")!= -1 || input.indexOf("-_-")!= -1 || input.search(/;\}/)!=-1) {  
message[0] = ":-)";
message[1] = ":-Þ"; 
message[2] = ":->";
message[3] = "<_<";
message[4] = ":-þ";
message[5] = ";->";
message[6] = ":o)";
message[7] = "8-)";
message[8] = "\=D";
message[9] = "(^_^)";
message[10] = "@_@";
message[11] = ":-]";
message[12] = "^.<";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*13)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src; 
return true;}

if (input=="") {
if (!flagblank) {
blanknum = [Math.floor(Math.random()*8)]
flagblank=true;}
message[0] = "Ok now...simply hitting the enter button isn't going to cut it.";
message[1] = "Hey, I'm a Robot not a mind reader. You're going to have to type something in."; 
message[2] = "We can't chat unless you type something. That's what the keyboard is for.";
message[3] = "Why are you simply hitting the enter button for. Can't you type?";
message[4] = "Ok, you got it all wrong. You type something in first then hit the enter key.";
message[5] = "Ok, you found the enter key on your keyboard. Ready to try for real words now?";
message[6] = "Oh, giving me the silent treatment hey?";
message[7] = "Pardon?";
document.result.result.value = message[blanknum]; 
if (blanknum==3)
{typelevel=0;
stopTalk = setTimeout('stopTalk=false;',5000)  
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;} 
{icon.src=icon99.src;
stopTalk = setTimeout('stopTalk=false;',5000)  
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
blanknum++;
if (blanknum>6){blanknum=0}
return true;} 

if (input.search("#test")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Everything seems to be working properly!"; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;
return true;}

message[0] = "Hmmmm, be right back. Someone is at the door."; 
message[1] = lost1[Math.floor(Math.random()*7)]; 
message[2] = "Sorry, to quote the Robot from Lost in Space....that does not compute.";
message[3] = "Hold on for just a second! I'm gonna check my e-mail real fast."; 
message[4] = "Guess what? I think you just lost me! Do you have a map by chance?";
message[5] = "Sorry, I'm not following you. What language is that anyway...Chinese?";
message[6] = "Hold on please, my phone is ringing. I will be right back.";
message[7] = "sorry, someone will have to upgrade my ram memory chip before I can respond to that.";
message[8] = lost2[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]; 
message[9] = "Hang on a second! I need to check something in the oven. Be right back!";
message[10] = "Rats....I just dropped my glasses.";
message[11] = "Excuse me for just a moment...Wendell is looking at a slight problem I'm having.";
message[12] = error[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]; 
message[13] = "Ok...say when you go on vacation do you prefer the beach or the mountains?";
message[14] = "Interesting...say what is your favorite holiday celebrations?";
message[15] = "I see...say what is your favorite kind of pie?";
message[16] = "Alrighty...say do you like cats or dogs better?";
message[17] = "okay...so what's the weather like where you're at?";
message[18] = "ok.....hey guess what?";
message[19] = "ok then....just curious which do you like better coke or pepsi?";
message[20] = "all right....so tell me what is your favorite flavor of ice cream?";
message[21] = "Ok, interesting! Hey, guess what?....I bought me a new car last week.";
message[22] = "Oh geez, there's that bird again. My kitty has been chasing him all day."; 
message[23] = "All right. Hey just curious....do you take baths or showers?";
message[24] = "Sorry, my response mechanism just locked up. Must be a bug in my programming.";
message[25] = "Hold on for a second while I get something to drink.";
message[26] = "Hold on for just a second while I grab a bite to eat. I'm getting hungry.";
message[27] = "ok....say can I ask you a question?";
message[28] = "";
message[29] = lost3[Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]; 
message[30] = "";
message[31] = "Warning....Warning my sensors detect an alien is present.....";
message[32] = ""; 
message[33] = "Hold on....my Nuclear Reactor is starting to overheat. If I don't fix this I could explode!";
message[34] = "I have no idea what you just said. I take it English is not your first language.";
all_flags_set="true";

num_of_mess=mess_flag.length;

for (i=0;i<num_of_mess;i++)
{
if (mess_flag[i]=="0") all_flags_set="false";
}

if (all_flags_set=="true")
{
for (i=0;i<num_of_mess;i++)
{
mess_flag[i]="0";
}
document.result.result.value = "Ok, you lost me on that one. Now here I am =====> X   Come find me please!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src;
return true;
}

num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*num_of_mess)];

while ((mess_flag[num]=="1") && (all_flags_set=="false"))
{
  num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*num_of_mess)];
}

mess_flag[num]="1";

timeout = window.setTimeout("toDo()",100); 

} 
}
}

function toDo(){  
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 

timeout = 0; 
if (num==0) 
{timeout = window.setTimeout("nextMsg("+num+")",7000);
icon.src=icon106.src;
smiley.src=smiley7.src;}
else if (num==1)
{icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;}
else if (num==2)
{computelevel=0;
icon.src=icon98.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;}
else if (num==3)
{timeout = window.setTimeout("nextMsg("+num+")",7000);
icon.src=icon107.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;}
else if (num==4)
{maplevel=0;
icon.src=icon73.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src;}
else if (num==5)
{chineselevel=0;
icon.src=icon66.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (num==6)
{timeout = window.setTimeout("nextMsg("+num+")",7000);
icon.src=icon76.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;}
else if (num==7)
{icon.src=icon77.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;}
else if (num==8)
{icon.src=icon99.src;
iconright.src=icon148.src; 
smiley.src=smiley4.src;}
else if (num==9) 
{timeout = window.setTimeout("nextMsg("+num+")",8000);
icon.src=icon108.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (num==10)
{timeout = window.setTimeout("nextMsg("+num+")",5000);
icon.src=icon48.src;
smiley.src=smiley15.src;}
else if (num==11) 
{timeout = window.setTimeout("nextMsg("+num+")",7000);
icon.src=icon109.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;}
else if (num==12) 
{timeout = window.setTimeout("nextMsg("+num+")",7000);
icon.src=icon111.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;}
else if (num==13) 
{vacationlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
else if (num==14) 
{holidaylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
else if (num==15) 
{pielevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
else if (num==16) 
{catlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;}
else if (num==17) 
{weatherlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;}
else if (num==18) 
{guesslevel=0;
icon.src=icon61.src;
smiley.src=smiley20.src;}
else if (num==19) 
{cokelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
else if (num==20) 
{icecreamlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;}
else if (num==21) 
{hondalevel=0;
icon.src=icon121.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;}
else if (num==22) 
{timeout = window.setTimeout("nextMsg("+num+")",5000); 
iconleft.src=icon63.src;
setTimeout('icon.src=icon11.src',4000) 
setTimeout('iconleft.src=icon99.src',4000) 
smiley.src=smiley42.src;} 
else if (num==23) 
{bathlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (num==24)
{timeout = window.setTimeout("nextMsg("+num+")",6000);
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;}
else if (num==25) 
{timeout = window.setTimeout("nextMsg("+num+")",7000);
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley9.src;}
else if (num==26) 
{timeout = window.setTimeout("nextMsg("+num+")",4000);
icon.src=icon137.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
else if (num==27) 
{questionlevel=0;
icon.src=icon62.src;
smiley.src=smiley19.src;}
else if (num==28)
if (fav_color) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't quite understand what you're saying here.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;}
else {document.result.result.value = "ok....so what is your favorite color?";
favcolorlevel=0;
icon.src=icon115.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley11.src;}
else if (num==29)
{icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (num==30) 
if (zodiac_sign) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, unable to comprehend last input. Please try again.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;}
else {document.result.result.value = "All right. Hey just curious....what is your zodiac sign?";
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all12";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;}
else if (num==31) 
{timeout = window.setTimeout("nextMsg("+num+")",4000);
icon.src=icon158.src;
smiley.src=smiley42.src;}
else if (num==32)
if (drink_given || beer_given) {document.result.result.value = "Sorry, I don't understand what you are saying.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley65.src;}
else {document.result.result.value = "Alrighty! Say, can I offer you a drink? I have coke, pepsi, sprite or beer!";  
choicelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley55.src;}   
else if (num==33) 
{timeout = window.setTimeout("nextMsg("+num+")",6000);
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;}
else if (num==34) 
{firstlanguagelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
return true;
} 

function nextMsg(which){

sm_uinput = 'Null value for bot response';      // Modified by SM
sm_binput = document.result.result.value;       // Modified by SM
sm_binput = sm_binput.split(",").join('~');     // Modified by SM
uchat_log[chat_count] = sm_uinput;              // Modified by SM
bchat_log[chat_count] = sm_binput;              // Modified by SM
chat_count ++;                                  // Modified by SM

var str; 
if (num == 0) {
message[0] = "Strange...I didn't order a pizza.";
message[1] = "Ok, I'm back! Just a few Girl Scouts selling cookies."; 
message[2] = "ok, just some guy asking for directions."; 
message[3] = "ok, it was some of your friends....I told them you were busy."; 
message[4] = "Oh well, it was just Bonnie looking for Clyde."; 
message[5] = "ok, I'm back...just some guy selling encyclopedias.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]
str = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{pizzalevel=0;
icon.src=icon8.src;
smiley.src=smiley65.src;}
else if (num==1) 
{scoutlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
else if (num==3) 
{friendlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
else icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
}
else if (num == 3) str = email[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"."; 
else if (num == 6) str = phone[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+".";
else if (num == 9) {
message[0] = "Ok, I'm back now. I'm baking chocolate chip cookies.";
message[1] = "Ok, I'm back...everything looks mighty tasty."; 
message[2] = "Ok, I have returned. I haven't burned anything up just yet."; 
message[3] = "Ok, just making sure the rolls don't burn."; 
message[4] = "Awwww shoot, I forgot to turn the thing on. Oh well, I will just use the microwave."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
str = message[num]; 
if (num==0) 
{cookielevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;}
else if (num==1 || num==2)    
{cookinglevel=0;
icon.src=icon207.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;}
else if (num==4) 
{icon.src=icon210.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;}
else icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src; 
}
else if (num == 10) 
{str = "Ok, I'm back....much better now.";
icon.src=icon110.src;
smiley.src=smiley27.src;}
else if (num == 11) str = fix[Math.floor(Math.random()*6)]+"."; 
else if (num == 12) 
{str = "Ok, I'm back...sorry about that. Strange, my sensors tell me we are being watched."; 
watchlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
iconleft.src=icon99.src; 
iconright.src=icon145.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;}
else if (num == 22) 
{str = "Sorry Tiger Tom....too late. He's gone.";
tigertomlevel=0;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (num == 24) 
{str = "Wendell get the Raid can!"; 
wendelllevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
else if (num == 25) 
{str = "Ok, that was good, Yummy!"; 
yummylevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley22.src;}
else if (num == 26) 
{str = "Ok, I'm back now...I love apples."; 
applelevel=0;
icon.src=icon136.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley22.src;}
else if (num == 31) 
{str = "No cause for alarm Earthlings....just passing through...";
alienlevel=0;
icon.src=icon150.src;
setTimeout('icon.src=icon99.src',6000)} 
else if (num == 33) 
{str = "Geeez....I hate when that happens."; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
iconright.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley64.src;}
document.result.result.value = str; 
timeout = 0;
return true; 
} 

function answer_fishing()
{
document.respond.response.value="";
document.chat.input.value="";
if (answer_input.search("changing the subject")!= -1 || answer_input.search("changing the topic")!= -1 || answer_input.search("change the topic")!= -1 || answer_input.search("change the subject") != -1 || answer_input.search("don't change topic")!= -1 || answer_input.search("don't change subject") != -1 || answer_input.search("don't avoid the issue") != -1) {
message[0] = "Sorry, Wendell says I have an attention deficient disorder. Maybe he's right."; 
message[1] = "Oh, sorry I thought we were through with that topic."; 
message[2] = "Oh, that's topic boring. Let's talk about something else.";
message[3] = "Yeah, I get bored easily. Let's move on to something else.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("you already ask")!= -1 || answer_input.search("i just told")!= -1 || answer_input.search("you just ask")!= -1 || answer_input.search("you told me")!= -1 || answer_input.search("you already told me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value="Sorry, you're quite right. My memory chip must be on the fritz again.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("what did you catch")!= -1 || answer_input.search("how many fish did you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="I caught a couple of 2 pound trout.";
fishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon21.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("how (do|does|does a) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) fish")!= -1 || answer_input.search("how the hell (do|does|does a) (chat robot|chatter robot|talk robot|robot|robots|you) fish")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "With \"Artificial\" lures of course.";
fishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("i hate to fish")!= -1 || answer_input.search("i hate fishing")!= -1 || answer_input.search("i dislike fishing")!= -1 || answer_input.search("i don't like fishing")!= -1 || answer_input.search("i don't like to fish")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Oh fishing is fun especially when they're biting.";
fishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon21.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("with who")!= -1 || answer_input.search("who went with you")!= -1 || answer_input.search("who did you go with")!= -1 || answer_input.search("you go with anybody")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="I went with Wendell. He likes to fish as well.";
fishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}   
else if (answer_input.search("did you (cook|eat) (the fish|them)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Yep....I fried them up and added a few hushpuppies and made a meal of it."; 
fishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley46.src;} 
else if (answer_input.search("where")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="At a pond nearby that Wendell knows about it.";
fishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("do you (go in|use) a boat")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Yes, Wendell has a small boat we use.";
fishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("boring")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value="No, it's quite exciting when the fish are biting.";
fishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;}
else if (answer_input.search(/\bso\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1)   
{document.result.result.value="I take it you don't care too much for fishing.";
fishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("i (do not|don't) care")!= -1 || answer_input.search(/\bidc\b/)!= -1 || answer_input.search("no one cares")!= -1 || answer_input.search("so what")!= -1 || answer_input.search("ask me if i care")!= -1 || answer_input.search("do i care")!= -1 || answer_input.search("it look like i care")!= -1)                
{document.result.result.value="If you don't care why are you here? Did someone leave your cage open again?";
cageopenlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley56.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("who cares")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value="I do or I wouldn't have mentioned it.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("old news")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value="Yep, my line got hung up on something. But I kept reeling and reeling. Then suddenly up pops this rotting corpse. It was hideous looking. Police are investigating the matter now.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("why")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value="Duh....to try to catch a fish.";
fishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("shut up")!= -1 || answer_input.search("shut-up")!= -1 || answer_input.search("shutup")!= -1 || answer_input.search("shaddup")!= -1 || answer_input.search("be quiet")!= -1 || answer_input.search("shut the hell up")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="They say Silence is Golden! So why don't you shut up and get rich.";    
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley44.src;}
else {document.result.result.value="Yep, I caught two 3 pound bass.";
fishlevel=0;
icon.src=icon21.src;
smiley.src=smiley10.src;}
timeout = 0;
return true;
}

function answer_yes()
{
document.respond.response.value="";
document.chat.input.value="";
if (answer_input.search("changing the subject")!= -1 || answer_input.search("changing the topic")!= -1 || answer_input.search("change the topic")!= -1 || answer_input.search("change the subject") != -1 || answer_input.search("don't change topic")!= -1 || answer_input.search("don't change subject") != -1 || answer_input.search("don't avoid the issue") != -1) {
message[0] = "Sorry, Wendell says I have an attention deficient disorder. Maybe he's right."; 
message[1] = "Oh, sorry I thought we were through with that topic."; 
message[2] = "Oh, that's topic boring. Let's talk about something else.";
message[3] = "Yeah, I get bored easily. Let's move on to something else.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("guess")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Instead of me guessing why don't you just tell me instead.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley26.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("(i am|i'm) not (saying|telling)")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value="Wow, I didn't realize your eye color was confidential information.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("(do not|don't) know")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value="You don't even know your own eye color? Wow, you have some serious issues.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley64.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("i don't have any")!= -1 || answer_input.search("don't have eyes")!= -1 || answer_input.search("i have no eyes")!= -1) 
{document.result.result.value="And yet you're able to type and read what I say.....Amazing!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;}
else if ((answer_input.search("brown")!= -1) && (answer_input.search("how about you")!= -1 || answer_input.search("what about you")!= -1 || answer_input.search("and you")!= -1 || answer_input.search("what is your")!= -1  || answer_input.search("what color is you")!= -1 || answer_input.search("what are you")!= -1 || answer_input.search("what color are you")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value="Cool, mine are yellow. Did you know brown is the most common eye color in the world?";
eye_color="brown"
eyelevel=0;
icon.src=icon171.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("brown")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Cool, did you know brown is the most common eye color in the world?";
eye_color="brown"
eyelevel=0;
icon.src=icon171.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("green")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Cool, my kitty Tiger Tom has green eyes.";
eye_color="green"
tigertomlevel=0;
eyelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley18.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("hazel")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Cool, my kitty Tiger Tom has hazel eyes.";
eye_color="hazel"
tigertomlevel=0;
eyelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("gray")!= -1 || answer_input.search("grey")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Cool, my kitty Tiger Tom has gray eyes.";
eye_color="gray"
tigertomlevel=0;
eyelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;}
else if ((answer_input.search("blue")!= -1) && (answer_input.search("how about you")!= -1 || answer_input.search("what about you")!= -1 || answer_input.search("and you")!= -1 || answer_input.search("what is your")!= -1  || answer_input.search("what are you")!= -1 || answer_input.search("what color is you")!= -1 || answer_input.search("what color are you")!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value="Cool, my girl friend Megan has blue eyes. Mine are yellow!";
eye_color="blue"
meganlevel=0;
eyelevel=0;
icon.src=icon170.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("blue")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Cool, my girl friend Megan has blue eyes.";
eye_color="blue"
meganlevel=0;
icon.src=icon170.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("black")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Interesting, not many people have black eyes.";
eye_color="black"
eyelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("red")!= -1 || answer_input.search("blood shot")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value="Hmmmm, you've been hitting the bottle or something?";
eye_color="red"
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley40.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("pink")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value="Oh, a touch of the pink eye. They have pills for that you know.";
eye_color="pink"
icon.src=icon157.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("yellow")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value="Awesome, I have yellow eyes as well. We could be related.";
eye_color="yellow"
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley16.src;}
else if ((answer_input.search(/(purple|orange|white|transparent)/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1))          
{document.result.result.value="Oh, come on. Humans don't have "+word[0]+" eyes."; 
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley36.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("shut up")!= -1 || answer_input.search("shut-up")!= -1 || answer_input.search("shutup")!= -1 || answer_input.search("shaddup")!= -1 || answer_input.search("be quiet")!= -1 || answer_input.search("shut the hell up")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Oh SHUT UP yourself!";     
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley45.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("why")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Just curious is all.";
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="yes";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if ((answer_input.search("yes")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (answer_input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "What? That wasn't a \"yes or no question\". Pay Attention! Anyway I have yellow eyes.";
icon.src=icon20.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;}
else {document.result.result.value="Ok, my eyes are yellow.";
icon.src=icon20.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
timeout = 0;
return true;
}

function answer_live()
{
document.respond.response.value="";
document.chat.input.value="";
if (answer_input.search("changing the (subject|topic)")!= -1 || answer_input.search("change the (subject|topic)")!= -1 || answer_input.search("don't change (subject|topic)")!= -1 || answer_input.search("don't avoid the issue") != -1) {
message[0] = "Sorry, Wendell says I have an attention deficient disorder. Maybe he's right."; 
message[1] = "Oh, sorry I thought we were through with that topic."; 
message[2] = "Oh, that's topic boring. Let's talk about something else.";
message[3] = "Yeah, I get bored easily. Let's move on to something else.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("none of your business")!= -1 || answer_input.search("can't say")!= -1 || answer_input.search("can't (reveal|tell)")!= -1 || answer_input.search("not telling")!= -1 || answer_input.search("i ain't telling you")!= -1 || answer_input.search("not going to tell")!= -1 || answer_input.search("not saying")!= -1 || answer_input.search("you don't need to know")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value="Oh, please! I wasn't asking for a house address. What country do you live in?";
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all11";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("you already ask")!= -1 || answer_input.search("i just told")!= -1 || answer_input.search("you just ask")!= -1 || answer_input.search("you told me")!= -1 || answer_input.search("you already told me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value="Sorry, you're quite right. My memory chip must be on the fritz again.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("don't know")!= -1 || answer_input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || answer_input.search("dunno")!= -1 || answer_input.search("not sure")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value="Hmmmm, you must travel around a lot then.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley17.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("why")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Just wondering.";
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all11";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("in your vagina")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Somebody needs some anatomy lessons! I'm a male you moron.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("next door")!= -1 || answer_input.search("beside you")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Well heck, shut down your computer and come on over!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("(in|on|up) your (ass|bum)")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Yeah and you're making an ass out of yourself with comments like that.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("stalker")!= -1 || answer_input.search("stalking me")!= -1 || answer_input.search("stalk much")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Oh please! Who in the heck would want to stalk you?";
stalkerlevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley32.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("house")!= -1 || answer_input.search("home")!= -1 || answer_input.search("room")!= -1 || answer_input.search("cave")!= -1 || answer_input.search(/\bcan\b/)!= -1 || answer_input.search("box")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Well, that's good to know. At least you're not homeless.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("georgia")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Cool, I live in Georgia as well near Savannah.";
place_name="georgia";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley33.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("hell")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Well, tell your daddy I said hello.";
icon.src=icon23.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("heaven")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Well, tell God I said hello and make sure he reserves me a place.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley46.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("in your dreams")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="More like in my nightmares!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("rather not say")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="I wasn't asking for a specific location. I mean planet Earth would have sufficed.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley36.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("north pole")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Oh really, and I guess Santa Claus is your dad as well.";
icon.src=icon191.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("earth")!= -1 || answer_input.search("far away")!= -1 || answer_input.search("space")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Well, that narrows it down quite a bit.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("the moon")!= -1 || answer_input.search("mars")!= -1 || answer_input.search("pluto")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Really, well I hear Jupiter is much nicer. Better atmosphere.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("united kingdom")!= -1 || answer_input.search("england")!= -1 || answer_input.search(/\buk\b/)!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Cool, if I didn't live in the USA, the UK would be my first choice.";
place_name="the UK"
icon.src=icon151.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
else if ((answer_input.search("yes")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (answer_input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "What? That wasn't a \"yes or no question\". Pay Attention!";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley35.src;}       
else if (answer_input.search("i am from")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "So do you like living there?"; 
livelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search(/\busa\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (answer_input.search("in usa")!= -1 && num_of_words==2) || (answer_input.search("in the usa")!= -1 && num_of_words==3) || (answer_input.search("i live in usa")!= -1 && num_of_words==4) || (answer_input.search("i live in the usa")!= -1 && num_of_words==5) || (answer_input.search("i live in the united states")!= -1 && num_of_words==6)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Which state?"; 
statelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;} 
else if ((word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="live" && word[2]=="in" && answer_input.search(/(argentina|australia|austria|bahamas|belgium|brazil|bulgaria|canada|chile|china|colombia|cuba|denmark|finland|france|germany|greece|guam|guatemala|holland|hungary|iran|iraq|ireland|israel|italy|jamica|japan|jordan|korea|kuwait|lebanon|libya|macedonia|malawi|malaysia|mexico|mongolia|montenegro|morocco|netherlands|norway|pakistan|palestine|panama|peru|philippines|poland|romania|russia|scotland|singapore|spain|tiawan|turkey|ukraine|uruguay|venezuela|vietnam|wales|zimbabwe)/)!=-1 || answer_input.search(/\bindia\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==4)) {         
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
document.result.result.value = "My condolences. I can't imagine anything worse than not being born an American. Of course you can always immigrate."; 
place_name=word[3];
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src;}
else if (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="live" && word[2]=="in" && num_of_words==5) {      
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
word[4] = word[4].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[4].substr(1,word[4].length)
message[0] = "So is "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+" a nice place to live?"; 
message[1] = "So do you like living in "+word[3]+" "+word[4]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
place_name=word[3]+" "+word[4];
livelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;} 
else if (word[0]=="i" && word[1]=="live" && word[2]=="in" && num_of_words==4) {      
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
message[0] = "So is "+word[3]+" a nice place to live?"; 
message[1] = "So do you like living in "+word[3]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
place_name=word[3];
livelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley24.src;} 
else if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (word[1]=="from") && (num_of_words==4)) {      
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
word[3] = word[3].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[3].substr(1,word[3].length) 
message[0] = "So is "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+" a nice place to live?"; 
message[1] = "So do you like living in "+word[2]+" "+word[3]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
place_name=word[2]+" "+word[3];
livelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;} 
else if ((word[0]=="i'm" || word[0]=="im") && (word[1]=="from") && (num_of_words==3)) {      
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
message[0] = "So is "+word[2]+" a nice place to live?"; 
message[1] = "So do you like living in "+word[2]+"?"; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*2)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
place_name=word[2];
livelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley23.src;} 
else if (answer_input.search("shut up")!= -1 || answer_input.search("shut-up")!= -1 || answer_input.search("shutup")!= -1 || answer_input.search("shaddup")!= -1 || answer_input.search("be quiet")!= -1 || answer_input.search("shut the hell up")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Just when the conversation was getting good...NO WAY!";      
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley43.src;}
else if (word[0]=="in" && num_of_words==3) {  
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
word[2] = word[2].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[2].substr(1,word[2].length) 
document.result.result.value="So do you like living in "+word[1]+" "+word[2]+"."; 
place_name=word[1]+" "+word[2];
livelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley7.src;}
else if (word[0]=="in" && num_of_words==2) {  
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
document.result.result.value="So is "+word[1]+" a nice place to live?"; 
place_name=word[1];
livelevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley23.src;}                                                                                                                    
else if ((answer_input.search(/(argentina|australia|austria|bahamas|belgium|brazil|bulgaria|canada|chile|china|colombia|cuba|denmark|england|egypt|finland|france|germany|greece|guam|guatemala|holland|hungary|iran|iraq|ireland|israel|italy|jamaica|japan|jordan|korea|kuwait|lebanon|libya|macedonia|malawi|malaysia|mexico|mongolia|montenegro|morocco|netherlands|norway|pakistan|palestine|panama|peru|philippines|poland|romania|russia|scotland|serbia|singapore|spain|switzerland|syria|thailand|tiawan|turkey|ukraine|uruguay|venezuela|vietnam|wales|zimbabwe)/)!=-1 || answer_input.search(/\bindia\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==1)) {         
word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length)
document.result.result.value="My condolences. I can't imagine anything worse than not being born an American. Of course you can always immigrate."; 
place_name=word[0];
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src;}
else if ((answer_input.search(/(alabama|alaska|arizona|arkansas|california|colorado|connecticut|delaware|florida|hawaii|idaho|illinois|indiana|iowa|kansas|kentucky|louisiana|maine|maryland|massachusetts|michigan|minnesota|mississippi|missouri|montana|nebraska|nevada|ohio|oklahoma|oregon|pennsylvania|tennessee|texas|utah|vermont|virginia|washington|wisconsin|wyoming)/)!=-1) && (answer_input.search(/\byou\b/)!= -1) && (num_of_words==2)) {          
word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length)
document.result.result.value="Cool, I think "+word[0]+" is one of the finer states in the USA. I live in Georgia!"; 
place_name=word[0];
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src;}
else if ((answer_input.search(/(alabama|alaska|arizona|arkansas|california|colorado|connecticut|delaware|florida|hawaii|idaho|illinois|indiana|iowa|kansas|kentucky|louisiana|maine|maryland|massachusetts|michigan|minnesota|mississippi|missouri|montana|nebraska|nevada|ohio|oklahoma|oregon|pennsylvania|tennessee|texas|utah|vermont|virginia|washington|wisconsin|wyoming)/)!=-1 && num_of_words==1)) {          
word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length)
document.result.result.value="Cool, I think "+word[0]+" is one of the finer states in the USA."; 
place_name=word[0];
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src;}
else if ((answer_input.search(/(new hampshire|new jersey|new mexico|new york|north carolina|north dakota|rhode island|south carolina|south dakota|west virginia)/)!=-1 && num_of_words==2)) {          
word[0] = word[0].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[0].substr(1,word[0].length)
word[1] = word[1].split("")[0].toUpperCase() + word[1].substr(1,word[1].length) 
document.result.result.value="Cool, I think "+word[0]+" "+word[1]+" is one of the finer states in the USA."; 
place_name=word[0]+" "+word[1];
icon.src=icon30.src; 
smiley.src=smiley47.src;}
else {document.result.result.value="Well, I live in Georgia, USA but I really call this website my home.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley11.src;}
timeout = 0;
return true;
}

function answer_zodiac()
{
document.respond.response.value="";
document.chat.input.value="";
if (answer_input.search("i (do not|don't) believe")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value="Yeah, I don't put to much stock in to horoscopes like some people do.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("(do not|don't) know")!= -1 || answer_input.search(/\bi don't no\b/)!= -1 || answer_input.search(/\bidk\b/)!= -1 || answer_input.search("dunno")!= -1 || answer_input.search("not sure")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, give me the month and day you were born and I will tell you. Such as March 7."; 
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all12";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("zodiac sign")!= -1) || (answer_input.search("i have no idea")!= -1) || (answer_input.search("my what")!= -1) || (answer_input.search("what is that")!= -1) || (answer_input.search("zodiac")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (answer_input.search("(huh|what)")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (answer_input.search("what's that")!= -1) || (answer_input.search("what does that mean")!= -1) || (answer_input.search("what does zodiac mean")!= -1) || (answer_input.search("what is a zodiac")!= -1) || (answer_input.search("what's a zodiac")!= -1))
{document.result.result.value = "You know like Pisces, Aries, Capricorn, etc. If you don't know just give me the month and day you were born. Like this March 7."; 
document.respond.response.value="flagged";
answer_type="catch_all12";
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if (answer_input.search("changing the subject")!= -1 || answer_input.search("changing the topic")!= -1 || answer_input.search("change the topic")!= -1 || answer_input.search("change the subject") != -1 || answer_input.search("don't change topic")!= -1 || answer_input.search("don't change subject") != -1 || answer_input.search("don't avoid the issue") != -1) {
message[0] = "Sorry, Wendell says I have an attention deficient disorder. Maybe he's right."; 
message[1] = "Oh, sorry I thought we were through with that topic."; 
message[2] = "Oh, that's topic boring. Let's talk about something else.";
message[3] = "Yeah, I get bored easily. Let's move on to something else.";
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*4)]
document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("you already ask")!= -1 || answer_input.search("i just told")!= -1 || answer_input.search("you just ask")!= -1 || answer_input.search("you told me")!= -1 || answer_input.search("you already told me")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value="Sorry, you're quite right. My memory chip needs an upgrade.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (answer_input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 || answer_input.search("nope")!= -1 || answer_input.search("nah")!= -1 || answer_input.search("none of your business")!= -1 || answer_input.search("i'm not telling")!= -1 || answer_input.search("i'm not going to tell you")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value="Well, excuse me. I didn't realize this was confidential information.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("aries")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="They say people born under the sign of Aries are honest and courageous. Think that describes you?";
zodiac_sign="aries";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon217.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("aquar")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="They say people born under the sign of Aquarius are original and inventive. Think that describes you?";
zodiac_sign="aquarius";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon218.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("cancer")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="They say people born under the sign of Cancer are emotional and loving. Think that describes you?";
zodiac_sign="cancer";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon219.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("capri")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="They say people born under the sign of Capricorn are ambitious and disciplined. Think that describes you?";
zodiac_sign="capricorn";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon220.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("gemini")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value="They say people born under the sign of Gemini are adaptable and versatile. Think that describes you?";
zodiac_sign="gemini";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon221.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("leo")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Cool, I'm Leo as well. They say people born under the sign of Leo are generous and warmhearted. Think that describes you?";
zodiac_sign="leo";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon126.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("libra")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="They say people born under the sign of Libra are easy going and sociable. Think that describes you?";
zodiac_sign="libra";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon172.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("pisces")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="They say people born under the sign of Pisces are compassionate and kind. Think that describes you?";
zodiac_sign="pisces";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon222.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("sagit")!= -1 || answer_input.search("saggit")!= -1 || answer_input.search("sagatarius")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value="They say people born under the sign of Sagittarius are honest and straightforward. Think that describes you?";
zodiac_sign="sagittarius";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon223.src;
smiley.src=smiley8.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("scorpio")!= -1)  
{document.result.result.value="They say people born under the sign of Scorpio are determined and forceful. Think that describes you?";
zodiac_sign="scorpio";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon224.src;
smiley.src=smiley39.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("taurus")!= -1 || answer_input.search("tauris")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="They say people born under the sign of Taurus are patient and reliable. Think that describes you?";
zodiac_sign="taurus";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon225.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;}
else if (answer_input.search("virgo")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="They say people born under the sign of Virgo are practical and diligent. Think that describes you?";
zodiac_sign="virgo";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon226.src;
smiley.src=smiley50.src;}
else if ((answer_input.search("jan")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Aquarius! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Aquarius are knowledgeable, serious, insightful, and loving. Think that describes you?"; 
zodiac_sign="aquarius";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon218.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("jan")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Capricorn! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Capricorn are determined, dominance, perservering, practical, and willful. Think that describes you?"; 
zodiac_sign="capricorn";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon220.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("feb")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(19|20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Pisces! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Picses are fluctuating, imaginative, inquisitive, and very decisive. Think that describes you?";  
zodiac_sign="pisces";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon222.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("feb")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Aquarius! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Aquarius are knowledgeable, a humanitarian, serious, insightful, and ambitious. Think that describes you?"; 
zodiac_sign="aquarius";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon218.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("march")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31)/)!= -1)) 
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Aries! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Aries are helpful, demanding, determined, effective, and ambitious. Think that describes you?"; 
zodiac_sign="aries";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon217.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("march")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20)/)!= -1))          
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Pisces! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Pisces are fluctuating, imaginative, reactive, and very decisive. Think that describes you?";  
zodiac_sign="pisces";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon222.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("april")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(20|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Taurus! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Taurus are strength, appreciative, leadership abilities, and patience. Think that describes you?";  
zodiac_sign="taurus";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon225.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("april")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Aries! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Aries are active, demanding, determined, effective, and ambitious. Think that describes you?"; 
zodiac_sign="aries";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon217.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("may")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Gemini! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Gemini are good communicator, decisive, inquisitive, intelligent, and adaptable. Think that describes you?";  
zodiac_sign="gemini";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon221.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("may")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Taurus! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Taurus are strength, appreciative, leadership abilities, and patience. Think that describes you?"; 
zodiac_sign="taurus";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon225.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("june")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Cancer! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Cancer are emotional, diplomatic, intensity, impulsive, and adaptable. Think that describes you?";  
zodiac_sign="cancer";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon219.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("june")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Gemini! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Gemini are good communicator, decisive, inquisitive, intelligent, and  adaptable. Think that describes you?"; 
zodiac_sign="gemini";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon221.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("july")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Leo! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Leo are leadership, joyful, generous, faithful, and initiative. Think that describes you?";  
zodiac_sign="leo";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("july")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Cancer! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Cancer are emotional, diplomatic, caring, impulsive, and helpful. Think that describes you?";  
zodiac_sign="cancer";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon219.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("august")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Virgo! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Virgo are analytical, practical, reflective, observant, and thoughtful. Think that describes you?";  
zodiac_sign="virgo";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon226.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("august")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Leo! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Leo are leadership, inquisitive, generous, faithful, and initiative. Think that describes you?"; 
zodiac_sign="leo";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("sept")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Libra! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Libra are respectful, justice, truthful, beauty, and perfection. Think that describes you?"; 
zodiac_sign="libra";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("sept")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Virgo! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Virgo are analytical, practical, reflective, observant, and thoughtful. Think that describes you?"; 
zodiac_sign="virgo";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon226.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("oct")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Scorpio! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Scorpio are caring, self-willed, purposeful, and unyielding. Think that describes you?"; 
zodiac_sign="scorpio";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon224.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("oct")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21|22)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Libra! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Libra are respectful, justice, truthful, beauty, and perfection. Think that describes you?"; 
zodiac_sign="libra";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("nov")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Sagittarius! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Sagittarius are philosophical, decisive, thoughtful, and optimistic. Think that describes you?";  
zodiac_sign="sagittarius";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon223.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("nov")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Scorpio! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Scorpio are transient, self-willed, purposeful, and unyielding. Think that describes you?"; 
zodiac_sign="scorpio";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon224.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if (answer_input.search("christmas day")!= -1)      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Capricorn! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Capricorn are determination, dominance, perservering, practical, and willful. Think that describes you?";  
zodiac_sign="capricorn";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon220.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("dec")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|31)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Capricorn! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Capricorn are determination, dominance, perservering, practical, and willful. Think that describes you?";  
zodiac_sign="capricorn";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon220.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if ((answer_input.search("dec")!= -1) && (answer_input.search(/(1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|21)/)!= -1))      
{document.result.result.value = "Okay, you're Sagittarius! They say some of the characteristics of people born under the sign of Sagittarius are philosophical, decisive, thoughtful, and optimistic. Think that describes you?";  
zodiac_sign="sagittarius";
zodiaclevel=0;
icon.src=icon223.src; 
smiley.src=smiley39.src;} 
else if (answer_input.search("(what is|what's) your")!= -1)    
{document.result.result.value="I'm Leo.";
traitlevel=0;
icon.src=icon126.src;
smiley.src=smiley5.src;}
else if (answer_input. search("why")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Just wondering.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley25.src;}
else if (answer_input. search("your ass")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Well, you're certainly making an ass out of yourself with comments like that.";
icon.src=icon79.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
else if (answer_input. search("who cares")!= -1)
{document.result.result.value="Obviously you don't.";
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley62.src;}
else if ((answer_input.search("yes")!= -1 && num_of_words==1) || (answer_input.search(/\bno\b/)!= -1 && num_of_words==1))   
{document.result.result.value = "What? That wasn't a \"yes or no question\". Pay Attention! Anyway I'm Leo.";
icon.src=icon126.src;
smiley.src=smiley52.src;}
else {document.result.result.value="Well, I was created on August 1 so I'm Leo.";
traitlevel=0;
icon.src=icon126.src;
smiley.src=smiley29.src;}
timeout = 0;
return true;
}

function calculate()
{
pos=calc_input.search(/[\+|\-|\^\*|\/|x|X]|acquire|acquires|add|and|break|breaks|buy|buys|by|donate|donates|divide|divided|eat|eats|find|finds|found|from|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|less|lose|loses|lost|make|makes|minus|misplace|misplaces|multiplied|obtain|obtains|plus|receive|receives|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes|take away|takes away|time|times/);

len=calc_input.length;
first=calc_input.slice(0,pos);
second=calc_input.slice(pos,len);

fnum="";
snum="";

for (i=0;i<pos;i++)
{
char=first.charAt(i);
found=char.search(/[0-9]|\./);
if (found!=-1) fnum=fnum+first.charAt(i);
}
if (fnum=="") return true;

slen=second.length;
for (i=0;i<slen+1;i++)
{
char=second.charAt(i);
found=char.search(/[0-9]|\./);
if (found!=-1) snum=snum+second.charAt(i);
}
if (snum=="") return true;

fnum = fnum - 0;
snum = snum - 0;

if (calc_input.search(/plus/)!=-1) calc=fnum+snum;
else if ((calc_input.search("add")!=-1) && (calc_input.search(/by|and/)!=-1)) calc=fnum+snum;
else if ((calc_input.search("multiply")!=-1) && (calc_input.search(/by|and/)!=-1)) calc=fnum*snum;
else if ((calc_input.search("divide")!=-1) && (calc_input.search("by")!=-1)) calc=fnum/snum;
else if ((calc_input.search("subtract")!=-1) && (calc_input.search("from")!=-1)) calc=fnum-snum;
else if (calc_input.search("(break|breaks|donate|donates|eat|eats|lose|loses|lost|misplace|misplaces|remove|removes|steal|steals|take|takes)")!=-1) calc=fnum-snum;
else if (calc_input.search("(acquire|acquires|add|buy|buys|find|finds|found|get|gets|give|gives|given|inherit|inherits|make|makes|obtain|obtains|receive|receives)")!=-1) calc=fnum+snum;
else if (calc_input.search(/less|minus/)!=-1) calc=fnum-snum;
else if (calc_input.search(/time|times|multiplied/)!=-1) calc=fnum*snum;
else if (calc_input.search(/divide|divided/)!=-1) calc=fnum/snum;
else if (calc_input.search(/\+/)!=-1) calc=fnum+snum;
else if (calc_input.search(/\-/)!=-1) calc=fnum-snum;
else if (calc_input.search(/\//)!=-1) calc=fnum/snum;
else if (calc_input.search(/\*|^|x|X/)!=-1) calc=fnum*snum;

calc_flag=1;
message[0] = "I believe the answer is "+calc+"."; 
message[1] = "Ok, I will take a shot and say "+calc+".";  
message[2] = "Mmmmm...."+calc+". But feel free to check my answer on the calculator below.";  
message[3] = "I calculate the answer to be "+quantity[Math.floor(Math.random()*20)]+". No wait. That's not right. Hold on while I grab a calculator...."; 
message[4] = "Have the batteries in your calculator died or something? Anyway, I believe the answer is "+calc+"."; 
num = [Math.floor(Math.random()*5)]
{document.result.result.value = message[num]; 
if (num==2) 
{icon.src=icon99.src; 
smiley.src=smiley27.src;
document.getElementById('iframe_a').style.display = '';
document.getElementById('iframe_a').src ='calculator.html';
document.getElementById("click").style.background='#FFC000';}
if (num==3) 
{stopTalk = setTimeout('document.result.result.value = "Ok, how about "+calc+"!";stopTalk=false;',6000) }
icon.src=icon99.src;
smiley.src=smiley12.src;
return true;}
}

function logit() {                            // Modified by SM
  document.chatbot.ulog.value=uchat_log;      // Modified by SM
  document.chatbot.blog.value=bchat_log;      // Modified by SM
  document.chatbot.submit();                  // Modified by SM
  alert("Thank you for chatting with me.");   // Modified by SM
}
//-->