An insight into the enigmatic
Ed Thelen, undisputed King of Nike Facts & Trivia on the Internet.
Certain allowances have been made here to accommodate him. You know how
them "Enjineers" are. :>)) jp
Hmmmm - a bio - you asked for "a little bio"
Ah good, that means I can
- leave out all the disgraceful stuff
- leave in only the hero/intellectual stuff.
That would be a very little bio -
maybe nothing at all other than my name.
OK - lets try it anyway -
A "short" autobiography of (bring up the sound of trumpets)
ta ta - ta ta
Executive Summary of Ed Thelen
A proposed script for "Dilbert"
by Scott Adams
- Lady says to Dilbert, "Say something romantic."
- Dilbert (Ed Thelen) says "Kepler discovered the paths of
- Lady thinks "I wish I remembered Clinton's telephone number."
My kids are about as old as I was when I started to lie about
Born? - Yes, but only once
Age? - 39 - Oh Yea - well maybe a little more
(A primarily farming community of 7,000 in the 1930s and
Life as kid? - I hated it. (And
people would smile and say this was the best time of my life!)
- Dad was a farm boy, worked through college, with elected
- Mom was "stay at home", a farm girl with college degree,
had taught math
- both above knew the meaning of "hard work - physical labor"
- gave our food to the "out-of-work" in the 1930s
("Out-of-work" seemed the only option for many good people
at that time.)
- I have a sister, two years younger, but faster, bigger,
smarter than me :-((
(Are sisters designed to torment brothers?) (I catch up with
sister about age 15.)
- I was the high school science whiz, - a complete nerd
- glasses, braces, and all -
(My high school class was 155
- didn't need a nose ring and spikey green hair to be recognised
- Summers mostly spent on family farm, mostly not working
I now think of myself as a farm boy and super-techie
- there has got to be a better way!
The teachers seemed glad to see me leave
I guess that was nice and friendly.
Graduate from High School? - Yes - at last - longest
12 years of my life
Military Career? - A short three years
Title? - "Knob dicker", I adjusted and fixed Nike
but now I are a enjineer :-))
College? - Yes - several - Maybe too many
College support? - Parents, reading to blind, janitoring,
loading trucks, G.I.Bill, instructing, manufacturing techie
Got asked to leave College? - Yes
Graduate from College? - Yes
Major? - That was a problem, tried several,
especially not my bosses.
Folks have a right to privacy you know!!
(Actually a computer programmer in industry, had seen enough
Hired? - Yes, Several times
Fired? - Not too often
What did you do at work? - I didn't tell people,
Why are my feet stuck in thick mud?? - It is thick mud isn't
Memories? - frustration, what did I get done today?? ??
most women seem to prefer jerks like Clinton
Married? - Yes - too often
- First lasted 24.3 years - just couldn't squeak it
- Current for 15 years
- Nerds like me shouldn't get married,
maybe right distance.
Got pregnant? - Never :-((
Got someone else pregnant? - Yes, several times :-))
Kids? - yes :-))
Comment on kids? - If ya ain't got kids, yur only half
Kids on welfare? - Not too often
See kids? - Yes - Everybody about 20 miles apart,
The idea that I am not totally dependent upon the government
Social Security system seems to horrify some of my liberal friends - who
seem to think that the government should be "the Great White Father in
Washington" to us all, not just the tormented Native Americans.
Gramps? - Ask me again in February 2004 :-)))
Current occupation? - Retired in 1996 -Knockin about,
tellin lies, goin to enjineerin talks way over my head. Havin fun, almost
as good as young Muslim males kill for, and I also have Betty, a
pond, and the Internet :-)) - www.ed-thelen.org
- (Ya know, we ought to redefine marriage,
like we are redefining everything else. People expect too much - we aren't
like the beaver couples or farm couples going out two-by-two to set up
house in some remote region - and trying to struggle against nature and
do a family together as long term partners.
We ought to face that we are now city people
- and do change partners about as fast as we change cars or houses. We
ought to tell kids early "This is your Temporary Daddy - soon Temporary
Daddy and I will have a big fight or get bored - we will make a hell of
a mess - then I might get you another Temporary Daddy.
"Yeh, I know that Temporary Daddies tend to
mistreat their Temporary Kids, but he's got such cute buns. And I just
know that he won't get drunk and beat me like he did that other woman.
And he promised me not to do drugs anymore if I let him move in
with us. If that doesn't work out I can get the county to help pay the
bills and the child care. We will see what works."
That way kids know what to expect, and might
not be so shattered. We should recognize that with DNA testing we can figure
out who made who, and not expect the liberated women to hang out with just
one guy - just so some guy isn't stuck with supporting somebody else's
kid. Time to face reality.)
(The above is not necessarily personal experience,
but I've watched a lot of unpleasantness and needless sadness.
If we just remember that we are just silly ducks quacking
and dancing around the pond, and not the serious, studious geese nearby,
we should all feel better.)
Same sex marriage? - Ya just gotta be kidding - I
think all marriage should probably be outlawed.
Or maybe the Muslim idea is realistic - one party repeats
"I divorce thee" three or four times and "thee" is outta there. In "Western"
countries the effect is about the same except it takes a few months and
the lawyers and accountants get into the act - for what reason? So that
the lawyers and accountants can get a cut out of the deal? (I have no idea
what the Muslims do about any kids involved.)
Died? - I don't think so. I don't remember it if I
Ed Thelen - October 26, 2003 - tweaked since -