Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example...

Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American ad campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux."

The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."

In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."

Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off."

The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem - Feeling Free," got translated in the Japanese market into "When smoking Salem, you feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty."

When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South America, it was apparently unaware that "no va" means "it won't go." After the company figured out why it wasn't selling any cars, it renamed the car in its Spanish markets to the Caribe.

Ford had a similar problem in Brazil when the Pinto flopped. The company found out that Pinto was Brazilian slang for "tiny male genitals". Ford pried all the nameplates off and substituted Corcel, which means horse.

When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to say "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." However, the company's mistakenly thought the spanish word "embarazar" meant embarrass. Instead the ads said that "It wont leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."

An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of the desired "I Saw the Pope" in Spanish, the shirts proclaimed "I Saw the Potato."

Chicken-man Frank Perdue's slogan, "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken," got terribly mangled in another Spanish translation. A photo of Perdue with one of his birds appeared on billboards all over Mexico with a caption that explained "It takes a hard man to make a chicken aroused."

Hunt-Wesson introduced its Big John products in French Canada as Gros Jos before finding out that the phrase, in slang, means "big breasts." In this case, however, the name problem did not have a noticeable effect on sales.

Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno mag.

In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into Schweppes Toilet Water.

Japan's second-largest tourist agency was mystified when it entered English-speaking markets and began receiving requests for unusual sex tours. Upon finding out why, the owners of Kinki Nippon Tourist Company changed its name.

Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."

Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick".

When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read English.

The following are from The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said 1998 Calender from Workman Publishing and shows that mistakes can happen when translating foriegn phrases into English.

Restaurant Assistant Manager: Applicants with the necessary experience need not apply. Please fax resume to Rita on 2865 1909 -- help wanted add in the Hong Kong South China Morning Post.

M. Cambon (French Ambassador): Thank you, but I am so sorry to cockroach on your time.
Chicago Mayor: You don't mean "cockroach" Monsieur Cambon. It's "encroach" you mean.
M. Cambon: Oh, is it? I see, a difference in gender.

Sir, I have been fingering your waitress for a long time, but she just does not want to come -- Joseph "Erap" Estrada, vice president of the Philippines, complaining to a restaurant manager when a waitress ignored his gestures and failed to come over to the table.

To avoid all that, I'll stop speaking English. From now on, I'll just speak in the binocular -- Joseph "Erap" Estrada, vice president of the Philippines, famous for his garbled syntax, on how he was going to avoid this problem.

Chinese host (lifting his glass to his American guest): Up your bottoms.
American diplomat: Up yours too.
Overheard at a cocktail party honoring numerous international guests in Shenyang, China.

Are you haunted by horribles?
Do you ever run after you nose?
Does your nose choke?
Does your head or face or shoulder ever limp?
Has any part of your body suddenly grown uncontrollable?
Do you have heart thrills?
Do you have hot fit?
Do you feel as if there were two when there is only one?
Are more than half your teeth off?
Do you readily become orderless unless you are strained?

Questions on a Japanese medical form.

Depositing the room key into another person is prohibited -- sign displayed in a Japanese hotel.

Please flash after use -- sign on toilet stalls in Seaview Estate, an office building in North Point, Hong Kong.

Corpse by Fisher -- the General Motors slogan "Body by Fisher," as translated into Flemish.

Mr. Chik died from a bronchial complaint that resulted from the eight shots fired by the police into his vehicle. When Mr. Chik was admitted to hospital, he was alert and gave sensible answers to his questioner. His gunshot wounds may have contributed to his death, but it must be borne in mind that a hospital bed can easily become a hostile environment -- A Hong Kong government official, testifying at an inquiry looking into the death of a man who was "found at the wheel of a stationary car in the middle of an illegal road race."

Bags to be used in case of sickness or to gather remains -- slogan on a Spanish airline's air sickness bag.

Equipment for orgasms -- sign in an Otis Engineering exhibit in Moscow - apparently a mistranslation of "completion equipment".

Car will not have intercourse on this bridge -- Tokyo traffic sign.

Cooking Method: 1) Wash and rape the sweet potato -- from Qingdao Fisherman Feast of China by Gao Bingyi, described as a "Famous special cooker".

You want it, we had it -- sign at a Japanese electronics shop.

Here are some funny translations from Daily Comix.

Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis. -- in a Tokyo Hotel

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. -- in a Bucharest hotel lobby

Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up. -- in a Leipzig elevator

To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. -- in a Belgrade hotel elevator

Please leave your values at the front desk. -- in a Paris hotel elevator

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily. -- in a hotel in Athens

The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. -- in a Yugoslavian hotel

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. -- in a Japanese hotel

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. -- in the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery

Not to perambulate the corriders during the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. -- in an Austrian hotel catering to skiers

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. -- on the menu of a Swiss restaurant

Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion. -- on the menu of a Polish hotel

Ladies may have a fit upstairs. -- outside a Hong Kong tailor shop

Drop your trousers here for best results. -- in a Bangkok dry cleaners

Dresses for street walking. -- outside a Paris dress shop

Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. -- in a Rhodes tailor shop

There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years. -- from the Soviet Weekly

It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. -- sign posted in Germany's Black Forest

Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. -- in a Zurich hotel

Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. -- in an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. -- in a Rome laundry

Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages. -- in a Czechoslovakian tourist agency

Would you like to ride on your own ass? -- advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand

Special today -- no ice cream. -- in a Swiss mountain inn

It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man. -- in a Bangkok temple

Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts. -- in a Tokyo bar

We take your bags and send them in all directions. -- in a Copenhagen airline ticket office

This next one was sent in by Eddie.

The company that makes Tide detergent wanted an ad campaign that would cross linguistical boundaries well. They came up with an entirely word-free bilboard. It had three pictures: the leftmost showed a ladys frowning and holding up a dirty shirt. The second showed her tossing the shirt and some Tide into the washing machine. Finally, the last frame showed her happily holding up the now-clean shirt.

Unfortuantely, this didn't do so well in Saudi Arabia, where the populace reads Arabic, which is read from right to left, instead of left to right. They naturally assumed the bilboard was showing how Tide could sully your clean laundry.

This is from Daily Comix.

From a letter in response to an inquiry about accommodation

"Dear Madam: I am honorable to accept your impossible request. Unhappy it is, I have not bedroom with bath. A bathroom with bed I have. I can though give you a washing, with pleasure, in a most clean spring with no one to see. I insist that you will like this."

A few more humorous translations:

In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking. - Here speeching American.

Know any more Translation Mistakes?
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