Competitive salary:

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

Join our fast-paced team:

We have no time to train you.

Casual work atmosphere:

We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

Must be deadline oriented:

You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

Some overtime required:

Some time each night and some time each weekend.

Duties will vary:

Anyone in the office can boss you around.

Must have an eye for detail:

We have no quality control.

Career-minded:

Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

Apply in person:

If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

No phone calls please:

We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience:

You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

Problem-solving skills a must:

You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

Requires team leadership skills:

You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

Good communication skills:

Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

Found in Daily Comix.