Question: What do you call the sight of a plumber under the sink with his pants creeping down, exposing his crack?

Answer: Redneck Cleavage.

Submitted by Jim Howell.

Question: How long does it takes a redneck to eat road kill?

Answer: It depends on how heavy the traffic is.

Submitted by Roller2664.

Question: What are the last words of a redneck?

Answer: "Hey y'all check this out!"

Submitted by Rob Klotz.

You know you're staying in a redneck motel, when you call up the front desk to say you gotta leak in the sink, and the guy says, "Go ahead."

Submitted by MojoDncr.

Hope my family members don't get insulted, but I do have a dead uncle that has a tombstone carved out like an 18 wheeler semi-truck. His wife was driving with him, and she's not dead yet, but the enscryption says, "One fine team". Sorry Aunt Annamae!

Submitted by LbkMystery.

Question: How do you recognize an Aussie Redneck?

Answer: You look up his family tree and most of them are still in it!!

Question: What do you call a New Zealand Redneck with 6 sheep?

Answer: A pimp.

Question: Why are New Zealand sheep so scared?

Answer: Because Kiwi Rednecks have got velcro gloves.

Question: Why do Aussie Rednecks curl their cowboy hats up at the sides?

Answer: So the can fit 3 abreast in a pickup.

Submitted by Kablowsky.

Famous last words of a Redneck: "Hey! I got it!"

Redneck ugly date test: Does your dog hump her leg with his eyes open, or shut?

Submitted by CThomp3851.

Question: What does a redneck chick say after sex?

Answer: Get off me daddy, your crushing my smokes!

Question: What does a redneck divorce and a tornado have in common?

Answer: One way or the other someone is losing their trailer!

Question: Why do they throw shit on the walls at rednack weddings?

Answer: To keep the flies off the bride!

Submitted by Steven Strey.

Question: How do you circumsize a redneck?

Answer: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Question: What is the redneck definition of sexual maturity?

Answer: An eight year old girl who can run faster than her brothers.

Question: What's the redneck motto for sexual maturity?

Answer: After eight it's too late.

Question: What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?

Answer: A northern fairy tale begins with, "Once upon a time. . . " A southern fairy tale begins with, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this . . . "

Submitted by TuMadre85.

NASCAR:

Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

Submitted by Regan.

Question: What does a West Virginian do when his truck breaks down?

Answer: He builds a house beside it.

Submitted by Anonymous.

What do you call the sweat produced when two rednecks are having sex?

Relative humidity.

Found in Twisted Humor.

What does a redneck call hitting a deer at 65 mph?

Fast food.

Submitted by Teen8784.

Who was the first redneck in the Bible?

Cain because he married his sister.

Submitted by Rednk67girl.

How many rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum?

Two. One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic.

Found in Twisted Humor.

Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"

The driver says, "Bout what?"

Found in Twisted Humor.

How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married?

There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.

Found in Twisted Humor.

Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?

The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

Found in Twisted Humor.

How did the redneck find his sister in the woods?

Not bad.

Submitted by DeanZ24.

What do you call a room full of redneck women?

A full set of teeth!

Submitted by M1HOYLE.

How can you tell a rich redneck from a poor redneck?

The rich redneck has two cars up on blocks in the yard.

Five rednecks drowned in the Ohio river last week. They were trying to dig a basement in the bottom of their houseboat.

Submitted by Brandon D.

Know any more Redneck Quickies?
Email me and I'll add them to the list