August 31, 1997

Notice of increased tax payments: Effective September 1, 1997.

To all taxpayers:

The only thing that this great nation has not taxed you on is your peter; mostly because, 98% of the time it is out of work and 2% of the time it is in the hole; also because it has two dependents that are nuts.

However, beginning September 1, 1997 your peter will be taxed according to size.

Please insert information on page 2, section 3, line 10 of your federal tax form.

• 10 to 12 inches: Luxury Tax
• 8 to 10 inches: Pole Tax
• 6 to 8 inches: Privilege Tax
• 4 to 6 inches: Nuisance Tax

Anyone under four (4) inches is eligible for a refund, but please do not ask for an extension.

Sincerely yours,

The United States of America