Dear Friends,

I have the distinguished honor of being a member of a committee to raise 50 million dollars to be used for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Fame in Washington D.C. We originally wanted to put him on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for two more faces.

We have decided against placing the monument next to George Washington, who never told a lie, nor next to Lincoln, who is known as “Honest Abe,” nor Thomas Jefferson, who spurned a third term, or beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since Bill Clinton could never tell the difference.

The committee was in quite a quandary, but after careful deliberation, it has been decided to place the statue next to that of Christopher Columbus,the greatest Democrat of them all. Who after all, did not know where he was going, did not know where he was when he got there, nor where he had been when he returned home, but he did the whole thing on someone else's money.

The inscription on the statue will read, “I pledge allegiance to Bill Clinton and to the indebtedness for which he stands, one man, indispensable, with corruption for all.”

5000 years ago, Moses said, “Pick up thy shovels, mount thine ass and camel and I will lead you into the Promised Land.” 5000 years later, Clinton said, “Lay down your shovels, get some ass then light up a camel. This is the Promised Land.”

If you are one of those who dares to have money left after your taxes are paid, we will expect a liberal contribution to this worthwhile project.

Thank you,

Bill Clinton Monument Committee

PS: The committee has raised $1.35 so far!