Comparative Analysis of World Religious (and other) Philosophies
| Taoism: | Shit Happens |
| Confucianism: | Confucius say, "Shit Happens" |
| Buddhism: | If Shit Happens, it isn't really Shit |
| Zen (Rinzai): | What is the sound of Shit Happening? |
| Zen (Soto): | Shit just Happens |
| Hinduism: | This Shit Happened before |
| Sikhism: | Leave our Shit alone |
| Jainism: | Don't accidentally swallow flies and Shit |
| Islam: | If Shit Happens, it is the will of Allah |
| Nation of Islam: | Don't take no Shit! |
| Hare Krishna: | Shit Happens, Shit Happens, Rama Rama *ding ding* |
| Agnosticism: | Does Shit Happen? |
| Atheism: | No Shit! |
| Catholicism: | Shit Happens because you are BAD |
| Protestantism: | Catholics are full of Shit |
| Methodism: | Let Shit Happen to somebody else |
| Calvinism: | Shit Happens because you don't work hard enough |
| Presbyterianism: | This Shit was bound to Happen |
| Episcopalianism: | If Shit Happens, hold a procession |
| Lutheranism: | Shit Happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK |
| Anglicanism: | Shit Happens, but only to Lutherans |
| Mormonism: | Excrement Occurs |
| Baptist: | You're Shitting all wrong, and you're going to hell for it, too |
| Pentacostal: | Praise the Shit! |
| Christian Science: | Shit is all in your mind |
| Existentialism: | What is Shit anyway? |
| Hedonism: | There's nothing like a good Shit Happening |
| Dadaism: | Bathtub full of power tools |
| Jehovah's Witness: | Knock knock. Shit Happens! |
| Televangelism: | Your tax-deductable donation can prevent this Shit from Happening |
| Fundamentalism: | There's no Shit in the Bible |
| Creationism: | Shit has only been Happening since October 23rd, 4004 B.C. |
| Judaism: | Why does Shit always Happen to us? |
| Reform Judaism: | Got any laxatives? |
| Moonies: | Only happy Shit really Happens |
| Wicca: | Shit is part of the Goddess, too |
| Paganism: | Shit Happens for a variety of reasons |
| Pantheism: | It's all a bunch of Shit |
| Panentheism: | Shit transcends us |
| Mysticism: | This is some weird Shit |
| Unitarianism: | Go ahead, Shit anywhere you want |
| Vegetarianism: | If it Shits, don't eat it |
| Scientology: | All this Happens to be Shit |
| Church of the SubGenius: | Shit has happened. For $20 "BoB" will sell you a way to MAKE MONEY FROM IT. |
| Discordianism: | Hail Shit! |
| Seventh Day Adventist: | No Shit on Saturdays |
| Amish: | Shit is good for the soil |
| Stoicism: | This Shit is good enough for me |
| Zoroastrianism: | Shit Happens half the time |
| Rastafarianism: | Let's smoke this Shit |
| Voodoo: | Let's stick some pins in this Shit |
| Twelve Step Program: | Shit Happens one day at a time |
| Environmentalism: | Shit is biodegradable |
| New Age: | It's not Shit, it's feldspar |
Sent in by Shawn.
