If not, consider this:

• The people who are starting college this fall (1998) across the nation were born in 1980.
• They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan era, and did not know he had ever been shot.
• They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.
• Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression.
• There has only been one Pope. They can only really remember one president.
• They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart, and do not remember the Cold War.
• They have never feared a nuclear war. "The Day After" is a pill to them, not a movie.
• They are too young to remember the Space shuttle blowing up, and Tienamin Square means nothing to them.
• Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
• They never had a Polio shot, and likely, do not know what it is.
• Bottle caps have not only always been screw off, but have always been plastic. They have no idea what a pull top can looks like.
• Atari pre-dates them, as do vinyl albums.
• The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them. They have never owned a record player.
• They have likely never played PAC Man, and have never heard of Pong.
• Star Wars looks very fake to them, and the special effects are pathetic.
• There have always been red M&Ms and blue ones are not new. What do you mean there used to be beige ones?
• They may have heard of an 8-track, but chances are they probably have never actually seen or heard one.
• The Compact Disc was introduced when they were one year old.
• As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 32 cents.
• They have always had an answering machine.
• Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black and white TV.
• They have always had cable.
• There have always been VCRs, but they have no idea what Beta is.
• They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
• They were born the year that Walkmen were introduced by Sony.
• Roller-skating has always meant inline for them.
• The Tonight Show has always been with Jay Leno.
• They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.
• Popcorn has always been cooked in a microwave.
• They have never seen Larry Bird play, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is a football player.
• They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
• The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WWI, WWII, or even the Civil War.
• They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.
• They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
• They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
• They never heard the terms "Where's the beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel," or "de plane, de plane!".
• They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. is.
• The Titanic was found? I thought we always knew where it was.
• Michael Jackson has always been white.
• Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not groups.
• McDonalds never came in Styrofoam containers.

Now, you know you're a child of the 80's if . . .

• you remember when Jordache jeans with a flat-handle comb in the back pocket was cool. (How about a pick for my Ogilvie home perm?)
• any photograph of you shows you wearing an Izod shirt with the collar turned up. (In turquoise or pink or layered!)
• you know any "Weird Al" Yankovic songs by heart. (Just Eat It, Like a Surgeon, Yoda)
• you've ever rung someone's doorbell and said "Landshark!"
• you were once bowled over by the technological excellence of such products as Atari, IntelliVision, TelStar and Coleco (or Beta machines).
• you remember the premier of MTV-or worse yet, you remember its predecessor, "Friday Night Videos."
• you and your friends ever discussed having a reunion at the end of the century and playing Prince's "1999" until you passed out partying.
• a predominant color in your childhood photos is plaid.
• you remember when music that was labeled "alternative" really was alternative, and when "alternative comedy" was really funny.
• you took family trips BEFORE the invention of the minivan.
• (Related to the previous) you rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you in the "tail gunner" position.
• you've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phrases: "You know, back when...," "When I was your age...," or "When I was younger..."
• Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you learned things like grammar, math and history.
• you ever dressed to look like someone in a Madonna, Cyndi Lauper or Duran Duran video.
• you remember your first kiss with someone having happened while either "Leather and Lace" or "Crazy for You" was playing.
• you remember with pain the day the Green Machine hit the streets (or the sidewalks), instantly making your Big Wheel obsolete.
• the age-old question "Where's the beef?" still makes you laugh.
• you remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly have more advanced special effects than "TRON."
• you had a crush on Ted the photographer on "Love Boat," Gage from "Emergency," or Ponch from "CHIPS."
• your hair at some point in time in the '80s could only be described by saying "I was experimenting."
• you've ever shopped at Benetton.
• you're starting to believe that having the kids in school year-round wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.
• you're currently employed doing something that has absolutely nothing to do with your college major.
• U2 is too popular and mainstream for you now.
• you remember trying to guess which episode of "The Brady Bunch" it was by the first scene.
• you had a front-row seat for Luke and Laura's wedding on "GH."
• your parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided it was pointless since Quincy got all the babes anyway.
• you know who shot J.R.
• you recall when Love's Baby Soft was in every girl's Christmas stocking.
• this rings a bell: "My name is Charlie, and they work for me."
• you were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on.
• you know all the words to the double-album set of the "Grease" soundtrack.
• you've ever had a Dorothy Hamill haircut.
• you sat with your friends on any given Friday night circa 1982 and dialed 867-5309 to see if Jenny was actually there.
• "All skate, change directions" means something to you.
• you've ever owned a pair of rainbow suspenders like the ones Mork used to wear (the Tamster still has hers).
• you bought a pair of Vans and wanted to order a pizza in history class so you could be just like Jeff Spicoli.
• you owned a Preppy Handbook.
• you were too young to see "Blue Lagoon," so you just had to settle for the secondhand reports.
• you remember when movies were only PG and R.
• you learned to swim at about the same time "Jaws" came out . . . and still carry the emotional scars to prove it.
• you remember when your cable TV box had a sliding selector switch . . . and your "cable remote" was connected to the TV by CORD!
• your jaw would ache by the time you finished one of those brick-sized packages of Bazooka.
• you remember Bo and Luke Duke, Daisy, Boss Hogg, or, worst of all, what Sheriff Roscoe's full name was.
• your parents paid $2,000 for a top-loading VCR that was almost the size of a coffee table.
• you found nothing strange about Bert and Ernie living together.
• you remember having a rotary phone.
• you actually believed that Mikey, famed kid on the Life cereal commercials, died after eating Pop Rocks and drinking a Coke.
• "Members Only" jackets . . . say no more.
• And lastly, I'll make a song stick in your head for the rest of the day . . . you actually remember the words to the theme song of "The Greatest American Hero." ("BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I'M WALKIN' ON AIR . . . I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD FEEL SO FREE-EE-EE...")
• you wore anything Izod, especially those windbreakers that folded up into a pouch you could wear around your waist.
• you owned a Jordache anything, or you remember when Jordache jeans were cool.
• you remember LeFreak by Chic.
• in your sophomore class picture, you're wearing an Izod shirt with the collar "up."
• you actually know who Rick Springfield is.
• you know what "Gag me with a spoon" means.
• you were in love with Bo and Luke Duke.
• knickers and leg warmers were cool.
• you ever wanted to learn to play "Stairway to Heaven" on the guitar and choreographed "Dancing Queen" by yourself in your room.
• you ever used the phrase "kiss mah grits" in conversation.
• you remember when your cable TV box had the three rows of numbers and you had to move the selector switch accordingly.
• you could sing "99 Red Balloons" in English and in German.
• you had feathered hair.
• you freaked out when you found that you now fall into the "26-50" age category on most questionnaires.
• "Wonder Twin powers, activate! Form of an iceberg, shape of a hammer." is familiar to you.
• you actually believed everything Leonard Nimoy told you on "In Search Of."
• the ABC After School Special "My Mom's Having a Baby" actually taught you stuff you didn't know.
• VCR's cost $1,000.

Submitted by Rene Schweitzer.

The following were found in NetDummy Humor.

• you spent endless nights dreaming about being the Bionic Woman or Wonder Woman or the Six Million Dollar Man.
• you remember, "Hey, let's be careful out there."
• you ever had a Dorothy Hammill/Tom Cruise haircut.
• Bo and Luke Duke.
• you're starting to view getting carded to buy alcohol as a GOOD thing.
• girls thought Sean Cassidy was dreamy, and lusted after Ted the photographer on The Love Boat.
• This timeline appropriately describes actual events in your life:

  Star Wars opens, you are still in single digit ages, and you think the creatures are WAY cool.

  Empire Strikes Back opens, you are now in early double digit ages, and you are convinced that the special effects are much better, the characters are cool, and you want one of every collectible out there.

  Return of the Jedi hits the theaters, you are now a teenager and you cannot get your eyes off Princess Leia's breasts or Han Solo's butt

• you ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon.
• the Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories.
• three words: Atari, IntelliVision and Coleco, sound familiar.
• you remember the days when "safe sex" meant that your parents were gone for the weekend.
• you watched HR Puffenstuff as a child, but now that you're older, you really understand that it would have been much better had you known about drugs at the time.

These were sent in by Michelle.

• . . . you know what "Sike" means.
• . . . you know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off."
• . . . you know that another name for a keyboard is a "Synthesizer."
• . . . you can sing the McDonald's Big Mack,Filet-o-fish, quarter pounder, and French fry song.
• . . . you know who Mr. T is.
• . . . you know who Fat Albert is. And who was old boy with the pink mask?
• . . . you ever wore fluorescent, neon clothing.
• . . . you could breakdance, or wish you could.
• . . . you wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.
• . . . you Believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power."
• . . . partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away.
• . . . you thought that Transformers were "more than meets the eye".
• . . . you knew that knowing is half the battle.
• . . . you wanted to be on Star Search.
• . . . you can remember Michael Jackson when he was black.
• . . . you wore a banana clip at some point during your youth.
• . . . you remember the garbage pail kids, and owned some.
• . . . you knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout."
• . . . rut row raggy and zoinks.
• . . . you HAD to have your MTV.
• . . . you actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a REALLY good movie.
• . . . you remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game.
• . . . you owned any cassettes.
• . . . you were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living in space.
• . . . you know what leg warmers are and probably had a pair.
• . . . you wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish.
• . . . you had a Swatch Watch with the Swatch Guard.
• . . . your Legos collection started with the free sets in a Happy Meal.
• . . . you remember when Happy Meals came in a box, not a paper bag.
• . . . you remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
• . . . you had Wonder Woman or Superman underoos.
• . . . you know what a "Push Up" ice cream is.
• . . . you had to come in the house when the street lights came on.
• . . . you had to change into play clothes after school.
• . . . you owned, or knew somebody with a Commodore 64.
• . . . you hated Scrappy Doo.
• . . . you recorded songs off the radio with your boom box.
• . . . you wished you had a light saber.
• . . . somehow you still know all the words to songs played on VH1's "Big 80's"
• . . . your arm was full of rubber bracelets.
• . . . you have ever said, "Gag me with a spoon."
• . . . you have ever wondered what happened to Saturday morning cartoons.
• . . . you can still sing 1 to 12 from the Pinball machine song on Sesame Street.
• . . . you thought the Thriller video was pretty cool.
• . . . you remember the first time you went in to a video store to rent a movie.
• . . . Canadians watched...Romper-Room, Mr. Dress-up, and the Friendly Giant - remember the teeny weeny furniture you wished you had?!
• . . . you wore those wide, colorfull shoelaces.
• . . . Quiet Riot's "Come on feel the noise" was the best song - ever.
• . . . you know where "I want my two dollars" came from.
• . . . you still cannot go in to the water because of that damn movie Jaws.
• . . . El Debarge's "Get a beat to the Rythem of the night" plagued the radio every hour.
• . . . you remember life before minivans and SUVs.
• . . . cars . . . Gremlins were cool - Pacers were not!

If you can identify with at least half of this list then you, my friend, are a "Child of the 80's".