These are from Daily Comix.

• Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
• Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
• Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
• Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
• Dopelar effect (n.) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.
• Extraterrestaurant (n.) An eating place where you feel you've been abducted and experimented upon.
• Foreploy (n.) Any misrepresentation or outright lie about yourself that leads to sex.
• Grantartica (n.) The cold, isolated place where art companies dwell without funding.
• Hemaglobe (n.) The bloody state of the world.
• Intaxication (n.) Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
• Kinstirpation (n.) A painful inability to move relatives who come to visit.
• Lullabuoy (n.) An idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to sleep.

Some more new words from Daily Comix.

• Abdicate - (v.) To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
• Carcinoma - n. A valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.
• Esplanade - v., to attempt an explanation while drunk.
• Negligent - adj., describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie.
• Lymph - v To walk with a lisp.
• Gargoyle - n., an olive-flavored mouthwash.
• Bustard - n., a very rude Metrobus driver.
• Coffee - n., a person who is coughed upon.
• Flatulence - n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are runover by a steamroller.
• Balderdash - n., a rapidly receding hairline.
• Semantics - n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers.
• Marionettes - n., residents of Washington D.C. who have been jerked around by the mayor.
• Oyster - n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
• Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient, who doesn't get it.
• Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
• Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.
• Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
• Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
• Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
• Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
• Glibido: All talk and no action.
• Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
• Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.

More new words from Daily Comix.

• Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
• Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
• Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles.
• Mouse Potato - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
• Praire Dogging - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
• SITCOMs - (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage) What Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
• Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property, and no regrets.
• Stress Puppy - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
• Swiped Out - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
• Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.
• Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
• Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
• Good Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" Job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
• Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example. Bill Clinton's shameful video Grand Jury testimony is another.
• Percussive Maintenance -The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
• Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voice-mail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an Uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." *(Syn: decruitment.)
• Vulcan Nerve Pinch -The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the arm re-boot for Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command Key, the Return Key, and the Power On Key.
• Yuppie Food Stamps - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal, "We each owe $8, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps."
• Salmon Day -The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
• CLM (Career Limiting Move) - Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
• Adminisphere -The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

The following are from NetDummy Humor.

• Body Nazis - Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
• Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
• Ego Surfing - Scanning the Net, databases, print media and so on, looking for references to one's own name.
• Idea Hamsters - People who always have their idea generators running.

These were found in Twisted Humor.

• AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
• CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
• DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.
• ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
• FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
• LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
• PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.
• PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
• PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
• TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

Know any other New Words?
Email me and I'll add them to the list