Men Are Like . . .

These are from Rene.

Men are like . . . newborn babies.
They're cute at first, but you get tired of picking up their crap.

Men are like . . . coffee.
The best ones are rich, hot and can keep you up all night.

Men are like . . . computers.
Hard to figure out and never enough memory.

Men are like . . . coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like . . . chocolate bars.
Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like . . . power tools.
They make a lot of noise, but it's hard to get them to work.

Men are like . . . remote controls.
Simple. Easy to use. And usually lying around a TV.

Men are like . . . shag carpets. Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.

Men are like . . . vacuum cleaners.
They're not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.

Men are like . . . road kill.
They usually just lie around until they start to smell.

Men are like . . . soap operas.
They're fun to watch, but don't believe everything you hear.

Men are like . . . pillows.
Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.

Men are like . . . old car tires.
Balding, full of hot air, and it never hurts to have a spare.

Men are like . . . plastic wrap.
Cheap. Clingy. And very easy to see through.

Men are like . . . department stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like . . . horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like . . . plungers.
They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like . . . floor tiles.
If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.

Men are like . . . bank accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Men are like . . . blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like . . . commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like . . . copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Men are like . . . curling irons.
They're always hot and they're always in your hair.

Men are like . . . cement.
After getting laid they take along time to get hard.

Men are like . . . government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

Men are like . . . high heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like . . . lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like . . . mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like . . . parking spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are handicapped or extremely small.

Men are like . . . popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like . . . place mats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.

Men are like . . . snow storms.
You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long they will last.

Men are like . . . used cars.
Both are easy-to-get, cheap and unreliable.

Men are like . . . bank machines.
Once they withdraw they lose interest.

Men are like . . . bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like . . . crystal.
Some look real good, but you can still see right thru them.

Men are like . . . dry cleaners.
Most work fast and leave no ring.

Men are like . . . laxatives.
They irritate the shit out of you.