Q:  What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A:  Shoot him again.

Q:  How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A:  When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q:  What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis?
A:  His body.

Q:  Why do little boys whine?
A:  Because they're practicing to be men.

Q:  How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:  One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Or
A:  Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Q:  What do you call a handcuffed man?
A:  Trustworthy.

Q:  What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A:  You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q:  Why do doctors slap babies butts right after they're born?
A:  To knock the penises off the smart ones.

Q:  Why do men name their penises?
A:  Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions.

Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A:  Because not one will stop and ask directions.

Q:  Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q:  What's the best way to kill a man?
A:  Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

Q:  What do men and pantyhose have in common?
A:  They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch!

Q:  Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A:  Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q:  What is the difference between men and women...
A:  A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q:  How does a man keep his youth?
A:  By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Q:  How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A:  Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

From Lorna.