Here are some tips from kids on subjects of romance.

• "You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." (Allan, 10)
• "No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you got to find out later who you're stuck with." (Kirsten, 10)
• "You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." (Kally, 9)

• "Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then!" (Cam, 10)
• "No age is good to get married at.... You got to be a fool to get married!" (Freddie, 6)
• "Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Judy, 8)
• "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife!" (Tom, 5)

• "Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." (Eddie, 6)
• "You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." (Derrick, 8)
• "Just see if the man picks up the bill. That's how you can tell if he's in love." (John, 9)
• "Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." (Brad, 8)
• "It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are...on fire." (Christine, 9)

• "When they're rich!" (Pam, 7)
• "The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that." (Curt, 7)
• "The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them.... It's the right thing to do." (Howard, 8)
• "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)
• "Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)
• "It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you...That's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10)

• "The first thing I'd say to them is: 'Listen up, youngins... I got something to say to you. Why in the heck do you wanna get married, anyway?'" (Craig, 9)

• "A man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and diseases together." (Marlon, 10)

• "Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck!" (Ricky, 7)
• "If you want to last with your man, you should wear a lot of sexy clothes.... Especially underwear that is red and maybe has a few diamonds on it." (Lori, 8)
• "Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tom, 7)
• "Don't forget your wife's name...That will mess up the love." (Roger, 8)
• "Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the garbage." (Randy, 8)

• "There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?" (Kelvin, 8)
• "You can be sure of one thing - the boys would come chasing after us just the same as they do now!" (Roberta, 7)

• "Both don't want no more kids." (Lori, 8)

• "Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." (Lynnette, 8)
• "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Martin, 10)

• "I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." (Craig, 9)

• "I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing...I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out!" (Theodore, 8)
• "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them!" (Anita, 9)
• "Single is better ... for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers... Of course, if I did get married, I'd figure something out. I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing." (Kirsten, 10)
• "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them!" (Lynette, 9)
• "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)

• "Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than one to find a live one." (Angie, 10)

• "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." (Jan, 9)
• "I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8)

• "Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9)
• "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." (Leo, 7)

• "If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8)
• "It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)
• "Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." (Christine, 9)

• "They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them." (Dave, 8)

• "The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9)

• "You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you." (Doug, 7)
• "It might help to watch soap operas all day." (Carin, 9)

• "I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' is on television." (Anita, 6)
• "Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8)
• "I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10)

• "One of you should know how to write a cheque. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8)

• "Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6)
• "Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9)
• "One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." (Bart, 9)

These were compiled from two separte emails from Rene Schweitzer and Shawn Rung and from Daily Comix.

Quotable quotes from kids

• The future of "I give" is "I take."
• A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.
• A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.
• The parts of speech are lungs and air.
• The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.
• Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
• (Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
• The general direction of the Alps is straight up.
• Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.
• The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.
• The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.
• We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.
• One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
• A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.
• One by-product of raising cattle is calves.
• To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.
• The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
• The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
• Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings.
• The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
• Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.
• The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.
• In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.
• Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
• In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.
• A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.

Submitted by Shawn Rung.

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. He gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb and asked them to come up with the rest.

• Better to be safe than......................punch a 5th grader.
• Strike while the............................bug is close.
• It's always darkest before..................daylight savings time.
• Never underestimate the power of............termites.
• You can lead a horse to water but...........how?
• Don't bite the hand that....................looks dirty.
• No news is..................................impossible.
• A miss is as good as a......................Mr.
• If you lie down with dogs, you..............will stink in the morning.
• Love all, trust.............................me.
• The pen is mightier than....................the pigs.
• An idle mind is.............................the best way to relax.
• Where there is smoke, there's...............pollution.
• Happy is the bride who......................gets all the presents.
• A penny saved is............................not much.
• Two is company, three's.....................The Musketeers.
• Children should be seen and not.............spanked or grounded.
• You get out of something what you...........see pictured on the box.
• When the blind lead the blind...............get out of the way.
• There is no fool like.......................Aunt Edie.
• Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and....................you have to blow your nose.

Submitted by Rene Schweitzer.

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!"

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church. " "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."

The kindergarten teacher was showing her class an encyclopedia page picturing several national flags. She pointed to the American flag and asked, "What flag is this?" A little girl called out, "That's the flag of our country." "Very good," the teacher said. "And what is the name of our country?" "'Tis of thee," the girl said confidently.

After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that?"

Two little boys were visiting their grandfather, and he took them to a restaurant for lunch. They couldn't make up their minds about what they wanted to eat. Finally the grandfather grinned at the server and said, "Just bring them bread and water." One of the little boys looked up and quavered, "Can I have ketchup on it?"

A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child."

A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike? " I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus: the Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."

Words of wisdom from children . . .

• Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, 10
• When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. - Michael, 14
• Never tell your mom her diet's not working. - Michael, 14
• Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9
• Never pee on an electric fence. - Robert, 13
• Don't squat with your spurs on. - Noronha, 13
• Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to. - Emily, 10
• When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. -Taylia, 11
• Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci, 14
• Don't sneeze in front of mom when you're eating crackers. - Mitchell, 12
• Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac. - Andrew, 9
• Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. - Kyoyo, 9
• You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. - Armir, 9
• Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. - Kellie, 11
• If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. - Naomi, 15
• Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9
• Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. - Joel, 10
• When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. - Alyesha, 13
• Never try to baptize a cat. - Eileen, 8

Submitted by Rene Schweitzer.

Ever notice how a 4 year olds voice is louder than 200 adult voices?

Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 am, I found my two children in bed with my wife Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night.

The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK.

After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers.

As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've got some good news!" As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?" Alex shouted, "Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!"

The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was (as she quickly walked away).

An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. 'Be still, my heart,' thought my friend, 'my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!'

Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down around the pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your party dress?" The girl replied almost directly into the pastor's clip-on mike, "Yes, and my mom says it's a bitch to iron."

These were from Rene.

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night. Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad-libs parts of the stories for fun. One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade class was the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home. She said, "And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw with which to build my house?"

Then the teacher asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"

My friend's son raised his hand and said, "I know! I know! He said 'Holy smokes! A talking pig!"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy Father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?," gasped her mother.

"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael. He's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes, sir," the boys said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "'Cause yer feet ain't empty."

For weeks, a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but he made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?" Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"

The previous were also from Rene.

Some more from Rebecca.

A kindergarten teacher asked, "What is the shape of the earth?"

One little girl spoke up: "According to my Daddy - terrible!"

A little girl was kneeling down, softly saying her prayers, and her mother was beside her. "Say your prayers louder, darling, I can't hear you," Said the mother.

"But I'm not talking to you" was the reply.

These are from Shawn.

After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."

"Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?"

"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, Would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother. Then one night the child was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right up to the end. "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail"...

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt."

His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

On the first day of school, about midmorning, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."

A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.

"What are you doing?" his mother asked.

"The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken" the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

Some more quotables from kids.

"Mom, is this the boss you hate or the one you like?"

"I don't know why you can't stand Grandma's food, I love it."

"Your friend's not fat Mommy."

"What's a jack-ass Uncle Larry? I want to be one too."

"Who's that other person that Daddy keeps blowing kisses to over the phone?"

"The guy that mows the lawn for Mommy is real good, he comes over about three or four times a week."

"Officer, my Dad wasn't speeding. He never speeds when he's drunk."

"My mom said I could get some ice-cream if I was a good boy and didn't talk through your boring speech."

"My mom said not to talk to crazy people."

The following are from Rene.

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.

"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.

"It sure is," I replied.

Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.

She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers, and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."

"And why not, darling?"

"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.

Apparently his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.

The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said. "Glory be unto theFaaaather...and unto the Sonnnn...and into the hole you goooo."

To close each day's activities in summer and on holidays in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World at Lake Buena Vista, Fla., a huge fireworks display lights up the sky. One night I noticed a small boy about three years old perched on his father's shoulder. The child sat mesmerized, aware only of what was exploding in the heavens. When the fireworks were over, the little boy looked up into the sky again and said, "Thank you, God."

My best lesson in child psychology came when I saw our five-year-old, Steven, roughly jerking our toy poodle's leash. Suddenly his fuming father appeared and asked, "Do you want to tell me how sorry you are?"

"I don't know how much you saw!" Steven stammered.

When my wife quit work to take care of our new baby daughter, countless hours of peekaboo and other games slowly took their toll.

One evening she smacked her bare toes on the corner of a dresser and, grabbing her foot, sank to the floor. I rushed to her side and asked where it hurt.

She looked at me through tear-filled eyes and managed to moan, "It's the piggy that ate roast beef."

We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into our new house in town. Early the next morning, our 5 1/2 -year-old ran into our bedroom to wake us up. I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to quit bothering us. About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed "everybody has doorbells - and they all work."

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write - and they won't let me talk!"

One day Mother sent my little brother to the post office to mail a letter. A few minutes later he came back with a suspicious smile on his face. "What happened?" my mother asked. "I just fooled the people at the post office. When no one was looking, I dropped the letter into the box without buying any stamps."

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother explained, trying to keep it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then asked, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.

I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards.

Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera!

My husband and I took our three kids out shoe shopping one day. We were going from store to store, and the kids were getting restless.

At one crowded store, I was standing near a bench when my 3-year-old climbed up on it, grabbed hold of my elastic-waist shorts, and jumped off pulling both my shorts and my underwear to the floor. I raced out of there, much to the delight of the appreciative on lookers.

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on.

He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your Mom," she screamed.

"I did,"he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

Know any other Quotable Kids?
Email me and I'll add them to the list