Found in Daily Comix.

• Sorry, officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
• I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
• Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
• Hey you must have been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
• Are you Andy or Barney?
• I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to be a police officer.
• You're not gonna check the trunk. Are you?
• I pay your salary!
• Gee officer. Thats terrific, the last officer only gave me a warning too!
• Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
• When the officer says "Gee son...your eyes look red. Have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with "Gee officer your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"

From SEABREEZERODEO

• Did your Mama dry behind your ears before you left for work?
• Are you old enough to be playing with guns?

From Twisted Humor.

• I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Found in Daily Comix.

• Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?
• Can you give me another of those full cavity searches?
• I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school first.
• Is it true people become cops because they're too dumb to work at McDonalds?
• Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 Magnum.
• Well, I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, and my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
• What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
• Bad cop! No donut!
• That gut doesn't inspire too much confidence, bet I can outrun you.