At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)

Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.'

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

Insist that your e-mail address be xena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com or Elvis_the_King@companyname.com.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the breakroom. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that."

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors'.

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

Dont use any punctuation

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are.

Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'.

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Submitted by Rene Schweitzer.

Leave the copy machine set to 99 copies, reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper.

In the memo field of all your checks write "for sensual massage."

Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

Staple papers in the middle of the page.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

Gnaw on your mouse, make cat noises, and lick your hands from time to time.

Walk into people's offices, taking a careful look around. Talk into your shirt, saying 'No sign of him yet, Chief.'

When the phone rings, answer by saying 'KBBL, you're on the air.'

Proudly show everyone your calculator and hand out cigars. Tell them your computer just had a baby.

Paint your face blue and start searching around in people's desk drawers. Ask them if they've seen your pills.

Create a document that is entirely black and print hundreds of copies. Use the print-outs as wallpaper for your office.

Build a fire pit out of cinder blocks in the staff room. Place a stack of firewood in the corner, along with matches, lighter fluid, hot dogs, and marshmallows.

Place a row of liquor bottles on your desk, and a sign on your door which reads 'NO COVER!' Announce loudly that it's happy hour.

Get in the elevator and pretend to hold the door open for invisible people.

Photocopy things around the office, such as lamps, potted plants, staplers, etc. If someone asks about it, just say 'You never can be too careful.'

Turn your radio up full blast and sing along loudly with the song. Invite others to join you.

Pretend to be hypnotized by someone's screen saver.

Go into someone's office, grab a book from their shelves, and begin reading it aloud to them. If they interrupt, give them an evil look.

Give a secretary a copy of Hamlet and ask her to proofread it.

Use a hole punch to punch holes in all your outgoing mail. Explain that the holes 'make it more aerodynamic'.

Bring a lawnmower into the office and pretend to mow the carpet.

Bring a TV remote control to the office and try to 'change the channel' on people's computers. When it doesn't work, mumble something about 'cheap Japanese crap.'

Pull a chair up to your window and pretend to be working at a drive-through.

Stand at the washroom door carrying a baseball bat and ask everyone in a low voice if they washed their hands.

Found in Daily Comix.

Know any other ways to Annoy People?
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