The following quotes are actual statements found on insurance claim forms of car drivers attempting to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible. These instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my hand thru it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife’s face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed for the embankment.

As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.

I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way, when it struck my front end.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

In my attempt to hit a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

These were found in Daily Comix.

I consider that neither vehicle was to blame, but if either were to blame, it was the other one.

I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault as he had been run over before.

One wheel went into the ditch, my feet jumped from the brake to the accelerator pedal, leaped across to the other side, and jammed into the trunk of a tree.

I collided with a stationary tram car coming the other way.

To avoid a collision, I ran into the other car.

The car had to turn sharper than was necessary, owing to an invisible truck.

After the accident, a working gentleman offered to be witness in my favour.

I collided with a stationary tree.

The other man altered his mind, so I had run over him.

I told the other idiot what he was, and went on my way.

I can give no details of the accident, as I was somewhat concussed at the time.

I blew my horn, but it would not work as it had been stolen.

I unfortunately ran over a pedestrian, and the old gentleman was taken to hospital, much regretting the circumstances.

A cow wandered into my car. I was afterwards informed that the cow was half-witted.

A bull was standing nearby, and a fly must have tickled him, as he gored my car.

She suddenly saw me, lost her head, and we met.

I ran into a shop window, and sustained injuries to my wife.

I misjudged a lady crossing the street.

I left my car unattended for a minute, when by accident or design, it ran away.

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