1. Always avoid alliteration.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague--they're old hat.
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas.
8. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
9. Contractions aren't necessary.
10. Do not use a foreign word when there is an adequate English quid pro quo.
11. One should never generalize.
12. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
13. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
14. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
15. Profanity sucks.
16. Be more or less specific.
17. Understatement is always best.
18. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
19. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
20. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
21. A writer must not shift your point of view.
22. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
23. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
24. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
25. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
26. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
27. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
28. Always pick on the correct idiom.
29. The adverb always follows the verb.
30. And always be sure to finish what

Found in NetDummy Humor.