
613 Mitzvot
Positive Mitzvot 205
To reprove
Lo-tisna et-achicha bilvavecha hoche’ach tochiach et-amitecha velo-tisa alav chet.
You shall not hate your brother in your heart; rebuking, rebuke your associate, but do not incur a sin on his account (19:17)
Suppose you are in a situation where you see a friend doing something wrong. What should we do? When we see an associate breaking Torah, we should speak to them about it. To correct someone is to show love to them. When you love someone you want the best for them. The best thing one can have is a growing relationship with YHVH, so you want to encourage them toward this. Sin, which is disobedience to the Torah (1 Yochanan/John 3:4), has a negative impact on one's relationship with YHVH. Therefore, we want to correct our associate so that their relationship with YHVH is restored.
Mishle/Proverbs 27:5
Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; Although the kisses of an enemy are profuse.
Tehillim/Psalms 141:5
Let the righteous strike me, it is kindness; Let him reprove me, it is like oil on the head; Don’t let my head refuse it; Yet my prayer is always against evil deeds.
A true friend is not afraid to lovingly correct someone, even though it may hurt. David said that the wounds from the righteous is in truth showing kindness, so he welcomed correction.
Galatians 6:1
Brothers, suppose someone is caught doing something wrong. You who have the Spirit should restore him, but in a spirit of gentleness, keeping an eye on yourselves so that you won’t be tempted too.
It is interesting to note that the verb
(yakach)
appears twice in the passage. It means to decide, prove, convince, convict,
reprove or to correct.
Why is the word "rebuke" repeated? Because first you must rebuke yourself. (The Chassidic Masters)
Your fellow is your mirror. If your own face is clean, the image you perceive will also be flawless. But should you look upon your fellow man and see a blemish, it is your own imperfection that you are encountering—you are being shown what it is that you must correct within yourself. (Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov)
Mattityahu/Matthew 7:3-5
And why do you notice the straw in your brother’s eye, and not regard the beam that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to thy brother, Allow me to pluck the straw from your eye; and lo! a beam is in your own eye. You hypocrite; pluck first the beam from your own eye; and then you will see clearly, to pluck the straw out of your brother’s eye."
Notice the similarity with the following quote from the Babylonian Talmud:
Rabbi Tarfon said, "I wonder if there be anyone in this era who will allow himself to be reproved. If someone says to another, ‘Cast out the speck that is in your eye!’ he will retort, Cast out first the beam that is in your own eye!’" (Babylonian Talmud, Er’chin 16b)
There is some irony here in that Rabbi Tarphon, who lived in the early second century CE, was a noted enemy of the Nazarene Jews. He once said, "If I were being pursued, I would flee into a house of idolatry rather than one of their houses!"(Tosefta Shabbat 13.5). This may show that the words of Yeshua did have indeed an impact on Jewish teachings.
Yeshua taught the process of rebuking an associate:
"If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother. But if he doesn’t listen, take one or two more with you, that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly. If he refuses to hear the assembly also, let him be to you as a Goy or a tax collector." (Matthew 18:15-17 Hebrew Names Version)
There is a time, when you do not rebuke someone:
Mishle/Proverbs 9:7,8
He who corrects a mocker invites insult. He who reproves a wicked man invites abuse. Don’t reprove a scoffer, lest he hate you. Reprove a wise man, and he will love you.
Said Rabbi Ilaah in the name of Rabbi Elazar ben Rabbi Shimon: Just as it is a mitzvah for a person to say what will be accepted, it is a mitzvah to refrain from saying things that will not be accepted.
Rabbi Abba said: Indeed, it is an obligation [to act thus], as it is written (Mishle 9:8): "Do not rebuke a fool, lest he hate you; rebuke a wise man, and he will love you." (Talmud, Yevamot 65b)
Sometimes, it does no good to rebuke someone, but only harm.
Shalom v'brakhot v'simcha,
Moreh Chizkiyah Shlomo (Carl)