There's a serious column brewing, but for now - I just have some more observations about the world that are Sure Signs of the Decline of Western Civilization.

Signs and Portents - they're in the air my friends....

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Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that someone is going in and rewriting the dates on all the old Peanuts strips running in the paper nowadays. It's like they're trying to convince us that these strips had always been intended to run this year. It makes for an interesting combination - strips COPYRIGHTED 1974, running with year 2000 dates. (Boy, I knew Shultz was prophetic...)

Bill Gates is no longer the CEO of Microsoft.

Harlan Ellison's latest promised book (Edgeworks 5) is now some two years late. (Actually that's not a sign of the End of The World, it's a reassurance that All Is Well... Harlan's books almost ALWAYS seem to be late.)

I don't own a Digital Camcorder yet...

The Iron Giant hasn't been seen by every child under 193 year of age...

I disgusts me that a well known weight loss company would stoop to hiring a woman whose only claim to fame is that she played the Presidential trumpet... (I refuse to give even a scintilla of acknowledgement or recognition by naming names, since that's all they want...) THIS is real evidence of the decay of Western Civilization.

The f/x channel is airing the completed episodes of Harsh Realm, and contemplating making more...

AOL and Time-Warner are teaming up to ruin even more of your day. (I can see it on Jane's computer now - "You've Got Ted!"... Oh, wait...)

Apple finally has a serious plan to retake a share of America's desktop and they still can't figure out what "flood the channels by christmas" means.

Toy Story 2 is not up for a Best Picture Oscar.

Bill Gates is loose upon the world - (Points are awarded to everyone who guessed Bill Gates as either the third or fourth Horseman of The Apocalypse in my recent column about World AIDS Day.)

There are fellow human beings who insist the whole Y2K thing was a whole lot of hooey about nothing, because serious study reveals that Jesus Christ was actually born in the year 3 BC, which would've made 1997 the start of the Third Millennium.... (I'm trying to be polite to the folk in the tinfoil helmets, I really am... BUT THEY COULD AT LEAST GET THE MATH RIGHT!)

We will never be honored by the bottled head of Troy McClure, whom you might have seen in "Gravematter: Attack of The Killer Brains 2" introducing some important piece of information to the gang in an episode of Futurama. (RIP, Phil)

There's going to be ANOTHER Star Trek series... (Points to those who named Rick Berman as the last of the Four Horsemen...)

The recent discovery that SPAM does, indeed, have a half-life. (Twinkies are still eternal)

First, they commit some serious crimes... (Serious crimes are the only way to get there) Then, they riot in the prison, kill fellow prisoners and hostages. After a tense standoff, the governor orders the troops in and the bad guys get stomped on pretty hard in the retaking of the facility. Nearly thirty years later, they are called the "Attica Brothers", whine about how unfairly they were treated and collect millions, while those related to the dead guards and hostages cashed the meager death benefit checks oh-so-many years ago and forever lost their rights to further compensation.

Advocates of "School Vouchers" and "Flat Taxes" continue to hammer at the supposed "unfairness" of the current system. While anyone who gives a moment's thought to their "solutions" can see they'll only cause a widening of the gap between the classes and put even more money into the pockets of the rich.

Twinning an embryo is not cloning. (So much for the advanced sciences...)

A guy named Rocker earning millions...

The British, despite a law forbidding entry to foreign nationals who have served more than a year in prison, are letting Mike Tyson in...

Kevin J. Anderson is still writing. (As of this date he's trashing the DUNE universe.)

I have a website... 'Cause my name is Bern and Out There is where I am...

(Addendum---

This is the latest in a series of e-mail columns. If you know of someone who might like to read one - please feel free to forward it. If you are receiving these as a forward, send me your e-mail address at <X_a_n_a_d_u@yahoo.com> and I will add you to

the direct mailing list. Should you want to read through the older columns in the series, go to <www.frontiernet.net/~gaidasz/> And lastly, if you would like to stop getting these - let me know, and you are free of the cursed things... (Though I can't think of a single reason you might want to stop... ;])

If you have a comment or criticism, please let me know. (Even the grammatical stuff.) I will "publish" expansions to the theories I propose, opposing views, or even related rants. Let's shake up the world a little. My inspiration remains Unca Harlan, but the vitriol I spew is my own.

The content will vary as often as the weather in Binghamton, and may include political commentary, stories, reviews, or even a highly personal rant about the general unfairness of life. The goal is to illuminate a problem, then try to solve it. It's all too easy to point out what's wrong with society, solutions take a certain amount of creativity. Hopefully, I'll occasionally entertain, periodically inspire, and generally make you think about things...

All in all, an idea as "Out There" as I am.

---End Addendum)

(c)2000 Xanadu Enterprises. All Rights Reserved.

Closing your eyes, sticking your fingers in your ears and saying "La-La-La" really loudly makes everyone in the supermarket stare.

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