Dissolved in Ohio:
Chapter Five
The Natasha Encounters
Due to the quarantine, their daily visits with Natasha were brief. Margaret and Peter felt they were contrived encounters — show and tell to show off little Natasha to her new loving family.
Their first meeting with Natasha took place in the orphanage director’s office. She was led in by her white clad caregiver and the new family were charmed – at first. She was that same tiny little impish girl they had watched over and over and over on their VCR. In person she was engaging and followed directions when the caregiver said something to her. She appeared bright to them and went right over to them and began to interact with them, but yet …something wasn’t right about her charming actions.
Margaret had packed a notebook and pen to take notes for their physician back home. In the following days she filled many pages with observations about the Natasha’s behavior during every visit they had. Margaret wrote constantly, jotting down answers to questions she had posed to the the orphanage director and caregiver about Natasha and her schedule. She listed Natasha’s actions and the results of these actions. Margaret’s notes contained remarks about Natasha’s aggression. She was hoped these notes would be of help to the physician.
Yes Natasha was following what the caregiver was saying to her. She was doing what the woman wanted her to do. Yes she had a lovely, shining charming component to her personality – readily interacted with them, but yet, yet…
She had some strange physical tics – an odd foot flex that would occur if she were standing for too long.
Margaret couldn’t put her finger on it, but something about Natasha’s behavior, combined with the odd foot flex – were not normal behaviors for any child.
Her intuition was trying to warn her every time they visited Natasha during the quick, one-hour sessions to learn more and study more while still in Russia.
Margaret and Peter were particularly bothered by the fact they not allowed to see Natasha interacting with the other children in her group members. They really wanted to see her with her fellow children for they felt that they were not seeing the “real” Natasha during their visits with her. They were especially dismayed when Tatyana, the orphanage director and the translator refused to let them view Natasha in her group at the orphanage when they so requested. The quarantine served as a good excuse to shield the family from certain realities about Natasha’s environment.
They referred to these Baby Home visits with Natasha before their court date as contrived meetings.
What so disturbed Margaret about Natasha that she felt something was not right about Natasha?
When the orphanage staff was present, Natasha seemed docile and ready to please her new parents. Yet when she was alone with the people who were to become her new family, her behavior shifted radically. She became abusive. She would hit Peter, Tucker and Margaret. She would cry and rage if given the chance – but if somebody appeared at the door with a piece of candy she shifted the charm on again.
Margaret works in the medical field and had also raised Tucker. She just knew some of the things Natahsa was doing weren’t in the realm of “normal behavior.”
When they got home, Margaret would learn the definition of “disinhibited RAD” only researching the disorder after they removed Natasha from their home. While at the Baby Home in Blagoveshchensk, neither Margaret nor Peter had any idea what “RAD” was. The people they had paid to tell them about the problems an institutionalized orphan might have hadn’t bothered to let them in on that secret.
Basically, Natasha was a RAD child: she had a charming, manipulative side to her, but underneath her seemingly sociable behavior, there was a nasty, out-of-control component which drove her, a component the girl herself probably didn’t even know she had.
Peter was able to measure Natasha’s head on one of the visits. They called the doctor in the United States from the Hotel Ubilyena with this updated measurement, and he said they were within normal parameters.
Because of Natasha’s erratic behavior, Margaret wondered if there were other girls at the orphanage who were in better shape than Natasha. They had not been told during the homestudy process or by BBAS about these strange, violent actions on the part of the children — surely they could ask and find out from Tatyana and the Translator to see other girls.
Tatyana and the Translator pooh-poohed her concerns. They told her “Oh no! Girl is fine! There is no problems with her! She is strong girl! She strong like her hair! She grow out of it at home!” Surely Tatyana and the Translator knew which behaviors were normal and what weren’t. But what did they care? They were getting their cold hard cash. It was all in a days work lying to the Americans.
Margaret and Peter’s red flags began to wave since they still could not see Natasha interacting with her peers at the orphanage.
As mentioned, the Ponishes noticed Natasha flexing her feet at various times, as if stretching her legs out after being in one position for too long. Margaret began to think the flexing was a result of Natasha having been put into physical restraints due to her wild behavior.
During their stay at the Hotel Ubileyna, between trips to the Baby Home, one night the Ponishes, while being escorted to dinner by Tatyana and the Translator, caught site of a shaggy man drinking at the bar. Tatyana told her that the man was Dr. Eric Downing who frequently visited Blagoveshchensk to examine children for foreign families. Tatyana, through the Translator, indicated that she had frequently seen Dr. Downing drinking at that bar when he was in town.
While at the Baby Home, they made the acquaintance of a woman named Christina Zima who was adopting two young girls independently. Christina had also been in Blagoveshchensk while Alysha was there and knew what was happening with Tatyana Dmitriyeva. Christina knew many of the Amrex families and their children and had witnessed the struggles the Ponishes were having with Natasha – and Tatyana.
Christina told Margaret she should ask the Translator to see if other girls were available for adoption at the Baby Home. There had to be some who were not yet spoken for.
Neither Denise Hubbard nor Wendy Stamper helped the Ponishes make this decision; Denise Hubbard did not console her about Natasha’s behavior, nor did she tell Margaret to ask about other available children. She left them on their own.
Margaret took it up with Peter, and their concern growing at these first few meetings, Margaret bit the bullet and privately asked the Translator to see if other young girls were available for adoption. She asked to be shown those who were available in a private setting.
The Translator gave her a strange look as if what she asked was sacrilegious. She was more concerned than angry, though, how dare Margaret asked to be shown other girls when their Natasha was such a treasure! Americans were just so hard to please!
The Translator asked the orphanage director if any girls in the 1-4 year age range were available for adoption. There had to be a few left before Amrex claimed them, for two tiny sickly girls were presented to the Ponishes within a day. Or course, how many times had these girls been seen and rejected by American families on referral videos?
Unlike Natasha, they were physically sick, small, pale and listless. They were frail and zoned out. At least Natasha was in relatively good physical shape. Her mental state was another matter.
They asked Christina Zima about the girls and Christina said they had been presented to her as well. They were known to be unwell, but she did not know the exactly cause of their illnesses.
When they returned home, it would be Christina Zima who would provide them with helpful information about post institutionalization issues. It was also through Christina the Ponishes would find us.
The Ponishes were blockaded. With no other reasonably “healthy” girls available, and no knowledge of how to switch baby homes or regions, they decided to continue with Natasha’s adoption. Perhaps things would turn around once she was in their care.
As they struggled with her erratic behavior, help was in short supply from Tatyana and Denise Hubbard. Denise did not offer suggestions, support or advice on how to handle the situation. Wendy spoke frequently with the other BBAS family on their cell phone. But their adoption was going smoothly and they certainly weren’t asking so many questions about their child.
When the Ponishes interacted with Natasha at the Baby Home, Tatyana and the Translator would have long, untranslated conversations about Natasha, right in front of them. Margaret felt they were scrutinizing Natasha and had indeed had their doubts about her. She suspected Tatyana and the Translator knew Natasha wasn’t right — and were deliberately withholding their true opinions about her.
Those two had handled too many adoptions from the Baby Home since 1999 to not know the real health of the children they were placing with Americans. They most certainly had witnessed such behavior before. It would not have been a good thing to have this girl’s adoption disrupted on their clock, especially after Alysha and Irina O’Rear had just been to town. What did they know about Natasha that they weren’t telling her new parents?
Towards the end of one of their last visits to the orphanage to see Natasha, the Ponishes inadvertently caught a glimpse of Natasha in action with her group.
It was only a glimpse – Natasha and her peers were being led into their of the orphanage. Natasha always had to be the “leader of the pack”. And I don’t mean a kindly leader of the pack. As Natasha’s group left their area, Natasha walked right up to another little girl and literally pushed the girl down with a big, nasty shove to make room for herself.
The Ponishes weren’t supposed to have witnessed that callous shove, and they were shocked at the lack of empathy Natasha showed towards her “friend” and her deliberate act of aggression.
Large red flags were now waving and the vibe grew in earnest. It was evident: Natasha had revealed her true nature.