MICROSOFT TV DINNER PRODUCT INSERT

First, remove the plastic cover.  By doing so you agree to accept and honor Micro$oft rights to all TV dinners.  You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Micro$oft's rights).  You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is.

If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven.  Set the oven using these keystrokes:

Then enter: If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner.

Be forewarned that Micro$oft dinners may crash, in which case your oven must be restarted.  This is a simple procedure.  Remove the dinner from the oven and enter:

This process may have to be repeated.  Try unplugging the microwave, carrying it outside, and then carrying it back into the house.   If this doesn't work, contact your hardware vendor for a larger electrical outlet.

Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of which are empty.  These are for future menu items.  If the tray is too large to fit in your oven you will need to upgrade your oven. You may also need to upgrade your shelves... and your house wiring.

Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the chicken variety is currently produced.  If you want another variety, call Micro$oft Help and they will explain that you really don't want another variety.  Micro$oft Chicken is all you really need.

Micro$oft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of their chicken dinners.  Future releases will only be in the larger family size.  Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved only in Micro$oft approved packaging.  To accommodate the larger sized dinner trays, Micro$oft intends to introduce its new line of MS Freezers by the end of the year.  The freezers will include free storage racks, specially designed to keep MS Dinners fresh and handy for easy dispensing.   Most users will not even notice that the freezers will not accept dinners made by other manufacturers.

Micro$oft promises a dessert with every dinner after '98.  However, that version has yet to be released.  Users have permission to get thrilled in advance.

Micro$oft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost.  This is a feature, not a bug. Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.