Allowing Obstacles To Fall

PresentFutureDale:

~How did I become me? I simply let all my obstacles fall, like leaves from my tree. I shed them and began growing new ones, springing into another form. I recognized my clinging to them, how I thought they defined me and no longer desired that definition and invented myself anew. It sounds simplistic and it was. The difficult bit was in the realization that it was truly me that was creating it and the allowing of the fear of unfamiliar. The fear of unfamiliar at first I tried to alter, to alleviate, but I was perpetuating it. I allowed myself to feel it and allowed myself to recognize my choices. It IS fearful for those who have not yet passed thru the brink. All of reality seems disjointed and attempting to place it back into some recognizable and familiar form is automatic. To let go, to allow, to cease to resist is not the automatic.

At first I began remembering this me more and more in my everyday life. There were times, like you experienced yesterday, when I ‘felt’ me moving a bit closer. This became more common as I focused my attention in this direction and not on the distractions I would create or the obstacles I would invent. It was a diligent effort in moving my focus of attention towards what I did want and not holding it to that which I did not. It did not take long, in linear terms, for amazing results to happen and then the only time these amazing results would relax, so to speak, was when I was integrating the acceptance of them. I recognized much fear of success which I always thought was fear of failure. No, success was unfamiliar and I gave myself time to integrate it.

At one point, before beginning my road into my free self, as I like to call me, I thought I should reach a bottom, bottom out, hit the wall, but I recognized my pattern in doing this as a form of motivation and chose to choose differently this time. I did not need to hit a wall to turn from it. Much easier.

And all of these hardships and conflicts that I created became the fabric of my life and world view, giving me what I needed to be fulfilled and what I needed to offer back to myself thru others. They became my story which I told and in the telling I was complete. Be me now.